Grappling Spectator Gazette

[Slashmaster]

Metropolis, NY

Thursday, December 27 1979

ABCW breaks silence on Beyond Wardome’s main event

by James Olsen

It has been a few days since Franz Van Winkle suffered serious injuries during his World Heavyweight Championship rematch against Dr. B at ABCW’s Beyond Wardome on Sunday December 23.

With reports about the injuries possibly being career-ending running rampant ABCW’s commissioner, Mr. Fantasy, has decided to break the silence in an exclusive interview with the Gazette:

“Bottom line, Franz is not returning. Following the match he indicated he felt a tingling sensation and numbness in both arms and was unable to move his legs. When he was brought to the hospital his doctors also discovered his jaw was broken in two places and that he suffered an unspecified neck injury.”

Van Winkle, 51, is no longer in critical condition and has been moved to his estate in Texas to recover. The former world champion and his family have not issued a statement yet.

Newly introduced ABCW Cruiserweight Championship stolen!...Page 3

ABCW announces merger with Grappling Arts Ladies Society…Page 5

Is it a bird? Is it a wrestler? Yes, it's Warhawk...Page 6

[Slashmaster]

San Fernando, CA

Sunday, January 6 1980

ABCW Superstar Saturday Review [***]

by Gordon Shumway

- A Challenge to the Champ: Gepetto Rocco appears on Teeny's Playhouse to share his thoughts on the main event of last year's Beyond Wardome. Although he and Franz Van Winkle were rivals for most of his career, Rocco wishes the former World champion a speedy recovery. He then goes on to condemn the actions of Dr. B and says that if security hadn't made it to the ring when they did Van Winkle might not have survived the brutal beating by the World champion. Gepetto thinks Dr. B needs to be taught a lesson in respect and challenges the champ to a match. [****]

- Non-Title Match: Gothica vs. Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: ABCW wastes no time showcasing the women's division they acquired by merging with GALS. Both competitors appear nervous in front of this big crowd and fail to impress in a match that is over too soon. Princess Starbright defeats Gothica via pin [*]

- The Dobermans vs. The Insectoids: This was exactly what was needed to re-energize the crowd after the lacklustre women's match. A good, at times even great, match featuring four young and hungry competitors eager to impress. The fight spills out of the ring and all four wrestlers brawl into the crowd, leading to a double count-out. I doubt this will be the last we see of these four men. Double Count-Out [****]

- The State of the Cruiserweight Championship: O'Hooligan is here to recap what happened during the presentation of the Cruiserweight Championship. He shows a short video package that sees Mr. Fantasy make his way to the ring with the title belt in his hands, only to have it snatched away from him by Red Pirate Rogers. The commisioner is irate and declares that this will not go unpunished. After the video ends O'Hooligan informs us that his guest has been chosen by the commisioner to head up the investigation into this theft. Chip appears in a police uniform and demands to be adressed as Officer Chip. He is on the case and will not rest untill he catches this perp. [****]

- Cesar Sleaze VS. Chet Skye: They lock up, work into counters and Sleaze grounds things. Skye fights back to his feet and works in some of his patented aerial moves. Just as Chet tries to bring things to a close Dizzy Lixx comes in and distracts the ref, so his tag-team partner can hit a low blow and pick up the win. A fun, fast-paced match that does its job of building to their upcoming Tag-Team Championship match. Cesar Sleaze defeats Chet Skye via pin [***]

- Battle Royal Qualifier: Reptile Ranger vs. Pelvis Pressly: This one is over quick as Reptile Ranger hits the short-arm clothesline to start the match. Pressly tries to mount a comeback, but walks right into the Down Under DDT. Reptile Ranger defeats Pelvis Pressly via pin [**]

- Battle Royal Qualifier: Mercenary vs. Juan Tijuana: Another fairly one-sided qualifying match is next. Mercenary wears his opponent down with his techical prowess. Juan puts up more of a fight than Pressly did in his qualifier, but is forced to tap out when Mercenary cinches in the Canadian Cloverleaf. Mercenary defeats Juan Tijuana via submission [**]

- Buzzsaw vs. Pierre the Enormous: Two giants collide in what could have been a pay-per-view main event. Both athletes get to display their impressive strenght in this match. Pierre throw Buzzsaw around the ring as if his opponent is a cruiserweight. Buzzsaw retaliates with some stiff chops and manages to lift Pierre over his head before dropping the French giant flat on his face. Buzzsaw puts his opponent away after hitting the Combat Splash. Pierre gets back to his feet after Buzzsaw has made his way to the back and starts tearing things down at ringside. These two will meet again in the Battle Royal, so this thing is far from over. Buzzsaw defeats Pierre the Enormous via pin [****]

- Television Championship Match: Brute VS ABCW TV Champion Starboy: In the latter half of last year we started hearing a deep voice urging Starboy to remember who he really is and to return home. We were promised that the identity of this mystery person would be revealed soon, but if this is him it would be a big letdown. Starboy outspeeds, outwrestles and outshines his opponent. Brute fails to impress in his debut match. Let's hope there's more to this angle than this. Starboy defeats Brute via pin [*]

A message from beyond the stars...Page 2

R'n'R Wrestling crowns a new world champion…Page 6

Cats: friend or food?...Page 7

[Slashmaster]

Chicago, IL

Monday, January 14 1980

ABCW Sunday Night Slam Review [***]

by Alphonse H. Bundy

- Drool vs. Chief Buffalo: This week's broadcast is off to an exciting start with a hoss fight between two of ABCW's heaviest hitters. Drool and Chief Buffalo lock up and wrestle eachother down to the mat, but neither man budges. The match soon devolves into a heated exchange of punches, kicks and elbows, before Drool gets downright nasty by tearing up the turnbuckles and whipping his opponent into the exposed steel. This collision temporarily stuns the Chief, which gives Drool the opportunity to roll his opponent up for the win. Drool defeats Chief Buffalo via pin [****]

- One on one with Honest Al: Princess Starbright has requested some time to speak to the fans. She is honored to have joined the roster and to represent ABCW as their first ever Ladies Champion. This was a solid interview that tells us everything we need to know about the Princess. [****]

- The Gladiators of Aethra vs. Supernova: Brute is back and he brought a friend. The announcer tells us his name is Massacre and the they are collectively known as the Gladiators of Aethra. Brute and Starboy start us off, but they haven't developed any chemistry between last week and now. The competitors put on a servicable, but unremarkable tag match, only showing occasional flashes of brilliance when Massacre and Starboy are in the ring together. It all ends when Starboy hits the Flying Cross Chop on Brute. Supernova defeat the Gladiators of Aethra via pin [**]

- Gothica vs. Valley Girl: In the past week Mr. Fantasy's baby girl has been very vocal about her displeasure with last week's women's match. She feels like Princess Starbright should have been stripped of her title when she joined the roster. Valerie sets out to prove that she is a better competitor than the current champ by beating Gothica. Although she falls short of her goal, she puts on a better match than we could have expected from an untrained athlete. Time Limit Draw [**]

- Officer Chip vs. The Shark: Officer Chip has started his investigation into the disappearance of the Cruiserweight Championship. His first order of business is to interrogate known associates of the culprit, which brought him to the Shark. When the Shark doesn't give the answers Chip was looking for, police brutality ensues. Chip takes things way too far and the referee stops the match before Chip gets any answers. The Shark defeats Officer Chip via disqualification [**]

-O'Hooligan's Pub: O'Hooligan is set to interview Kit Pistol, but it is clear his heart isn't in it. After asking a couple of unspired questions and not listening to the answers, O'Hooligan starts ranting about the upcoming episode of Teeny's Playhouse. He doesn't understand why Norman gets to interview the World Champion, while he is stuck talking to this nobody. Kit gets up and slaps O'Hooligan off his barstool. [****]

- Michael T. Wolf vs. Ruffian: Wolf and Ruffian have met in the ring countless times before in many different promotions and have yet to put on a bad match together. The high-flying werewolf takes control at the beginning of the match, but the more offense he gets in the more enraged his opponent becomes. Eventually Ruffian manages to ground Wolf and hit him with the Keg Stand Piledriver. Ruffian defeats Michael T. Wolf via pin [****]

- Teeny's Playhouse: Teeny introduces his guest, the ABCW World Champion: Dr. B. The champ grabs the microphone from Teeny Norman's hands and shoves the diminutive host aside. He turns to the camera and says the doctor will see Gepetto Rocco now. Rocco arrives and the two brawl, destroying most of the Playhouse set in the process. [*****]

- Tag Team Championship Match: The Metalheads vs. ABCW Tag-Team Champions the Neon Express: Last week's loss to Cesar Sleaze has lit a fire under Chet Skye. He overwhelms Sleaze with a flurry of aerial moves and dropkicks, which forces his opponent to tag out and catch his breath. Lixx doesn't fare much better against the high-flyer and resorts to dirty tactics. After an eye rake Skye has a hard time defending himself and the Metalheads gain the upper hand. Chet puts up a valliant fight and eventually gives the hot tag to his partner who his a Torpedo Dropkick for the win. The Neon Express defeat the Metalheads via pin [***]

Football prodigy scores three touchdowns in one game!...Page 2

Top 10 wrestling boots...Page 11

[Slashmaster]

Transylvania, Romania

Sunday, January 20 1980

ABCW Weekend Wrasslin' Review [***]

by Dr. A. Cula

- Michael T. Wolf, Mighty Leo & Gepetto Rocco vs. Ruffian, Johnny Kobra & ABCW World Champion Dr. B: Dr. B is out first and hypes up his tag-team partners for the evening, referring to them as future Tag-Team Champions. The Frat Boy Bullies come out and greet the champ like an old friend. The three seem to get along splendidly. Gepetto and Howl & Roar enter the arena together, but before they can get to the ring they get jumped by the Bullies. It takes the official a few minutes, but eventually we get to the actual match. Mighty Leo and Johnny Kobra are up first and we get some solid mat wrestling between the two, but it doesn't take long for Ruffian to tag himself in and call out Wolf. Things get heated again and only ramp up more when Rocco and the champ get their hands on eachother. This was a fun, hectic match and a great way to open the night. Michael T. Wolf, Mighty Leo & Gepetto Rocco defeat Ruffian, Johnny Kobra & ABCW World Champion Dr. B via pin [****]

- Backstage Politics: Gothica and Kit Pistol run into eachother backstage and discuss how they have been treated in ABCW in the past few weeks. They come to the conclusion that if they aren't going to get the respect they deserve, they will just have to make people respect them. [***]

- Buzzsaw & Drool vs. Pierre the Enormous & Chief Buffalo: The big hoss fights we have seen over the past couple of weeks have been very entertaining, so the decision was made to put these four competitors together in one match, which turned out to be a great decision. All four men hit their signature offence and Buzzsaw eventually picks up the win for his team by pinning the Chief. Buzzsaw & Drool defeat Pierre the Enormous & Chief Buffalo via pin [****]

- The Thief Speaks: Red Pirate Rogers is at an undisclosed location and has the Cruiserweight Championship over his shoulder. He says that if he has to wait for Officer Chip to find him he will probably die of old age before they ever meet. Rogers announces that he will meet Chip in the ring on the next episode of Superstar Saturday. He tells Chip not to come alone, as the Shark will also be there and he has some unfinished business with the Officer. [***]

- Jessie Wild vs. Zombie Punk: The bell rings and the Zombie lumbers over to Jessie, only to be met by a superkick to the face. One, two, three, this one's over. Jessie Wild defeats Zombie Punk via pin [NR]

- A Challenge is Made: O'Hooligan visits Teeny Norman on the ruined set of his talkshow. He speaks passionately about his resentment for the tiny talkshow host. The Irishman says that there is only room for one talkshow host on this program and he'll fight Norman for it. [*****]

- A Sneak Attack: Moon Man is in the dressing room minding his own business, when the Gladiators suddenly burst through the door and lay into his with punches, kicks and chairshots. Massacre tells Brute they have to go and a few seconds after they leave Starboy arrives. Moon Man is bleeding from his head. Good stuff. [****]

- Falls Count Anywhere: The Dobermans vs. The Insectoids: After the inconclusive ending of their encounter two weeks ago the falls count anywhere stipulation has been added to ensure that we have a definitive winner. Things start out with some techical wrestling in the ring, before they spill out to rinside and eventually into the crowd. Denny gets incapacited momentarily, leaving Duke to fend off both Buggs at once. They make their way to stage and just as it seems that Mark Bugg is about to hit the finishing blow, both he and his brother get his with a diving attack from out of nowhere by Doberman Denny. Denny pins Mike to pick up the W and both Dobermans gain entry into the Battle Royal. The Dobermans defeat the Insectoids via pin [****]

- Non-Title Match: Gorgon Tokoro vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Princess Starbright and Valley Girl are in the ring, set to face off. Before the referee gives the call to start the match Valerie demands a microphone. She says that if the Princess isn't going to put her championship on the line, she is not going to fight her. Starbright is upset by this, but cannot dwell on it for too long, as Valley Girl has found a suitable replacement. The massive Gorgon Tokoro stomps towards the ring and flings the Princess around like a rag doll. The referee checks on the champ and calls for a doctor, but Starbright stops him and tells the official to start the match. As soon as the bell rings Tokoro punches the Princess square in the face and knocks her out. Gorgon Tokoro defeats Princess Starbright via knock-out [*]

The Three Count...Page 3

Gepetto Rocco's unhealthy diet...Page 4

The Art of Blading...Page 12

[Slashmaster]

Viridian City, Kanto

Monday, January 28 1980

ABCW Battle Royal 1980

by Samuel Oak

- ABCW Tag-Team Championship Open Challenge: ABCW Tag-Team Champions Neon Express vs. ?: With no real challenger left for the Tag Team Championships, Chet and Jessie issue an open challenge. The audience waits with bated breath to see who will accept, only to let out an audible groan when Zombie Punk starts lumbering towards the ring. Suddenly the lights cut out and when they turn back on a pale figure has appeared in the ring. Commentary indentifies the mystery man as Keith Blood. Blood goes after Wild as soon as the bells rings, while Zombie Punk keeps Skye occupied at ringside. This draws the attention of the referee, who doesn't see how Blood rakes Jessie's eyes and shoves a dirty rag in his mouth. Jessie tries to scream as Keith punches, scratches and bites his opponent, but the official doesn't notice. By the time the referee turns around Keith is already making the cover. This one is over.

Keith Blood & Zombie Punk defeat Champions Neon Express via pin [**] - NEW CHAMPIONS!

- ABCW Ladies Championship: Valley Girl vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Princess Starbright is going against doctor's advice in accepting this match. She still has a black eye from when Tokoro hit her last week. Fortunately for her the Japanese powerhouse is banned from ringside for this match. Valley Girl and Starbright bring out the best in eachother in what is both women's best match in the company. Starbright ends the match by hitting a picture perfect Rainbow Connection.

Champion Princess Starbright defeats Valley Girl via pin [***]

- Rex Spectrum has secured an exclusive interview with ABCW TV Champion Starboy! Or so he thought... Starboy is yet to utter a single word since joining the company, so Pop King is doing the talking for him. He says the cowardly attack on Moon Man will not go unpunished. The Gladiators aren't here tonight, but on the next episode of Superstar Saturday Pop King and Starboy will team up to get revenge for their fellow Moonwalker. [***]

- ABCW World Championship: Gepetto Rocco vs. ABCW World Champion Dr. B: Last week's 6-man tag was a fun match, but most of the heavy lifting in the match was done by Rocco's tag-team partners. This singles match unfortunately exposes just how much Gepetto's age has caught up with him. The elder statesman attempts to wrestle Dr. B to the mat a couple of times, but the Doctor manages to power out every time. It only takes one Clubber to put Rocco down for the three count and it seems like Dr. B is going in for his now customary post-match beatdown, but the big man changes his mind at the last second. He takes pity on the old fool and takes a seat at the commentary table to watch the Battle Royal and find out who might face him at Champ Clash.

Champion Dr. B defeats Gepetto Rocco via pin [*]

- Battle Royal: Average Guy vs. Buzzsaw vs. Chief Buffalo vs. Dicky Thunderbird vs. Doberman Denny vs. Doberman Duke vs. Drool vs. Johnny Kobra vs. Memphis Prince vs. Mercenary vs. Michael T. Wolf vs. Mighty Leo vs. Mr. Tycoon vs. O'Hooligan vs. Pierre the Enormous vs. Reptile Ranger vs. Ruffian vs. Teeny Norman vs. The Shark vs. Zen: As the wrestlers make their way to the ring we see a couple of unfamiliar faces. The first is Hawaiian cruiserweight prodigy Dicky Thunderbird, followed by mid-south legend Memphis Prince. The most surprising participant is Average Guy, who is still under contract with R'n'R. The bell rings and bodies start flying immeadiatly. Mr. Tycoon is eliminated first by Buzzsaw and seconds later Zen is thrown over the top rope by Pierre. Mercenary eliminates one Doberman, only to get surprised by the other. O'Hooligan and Teeny Norman brawl in the corner, but the main focus is on two men: Buzzsaw and Pierre the Enormous. The two giants decimate the rest of the field, untill they are the only two left in the ring. Neither one is able to get the upper hand for long. Pierre throws Buzzsaw into the corner. Mr. Tycoon, who is still at ringside, starts pulling on Buzzsaw's arms, while Pierre lifts his opponent up. Buzzsaw tries to resist, but tumbles to the outside nevertheless.

Pierre the Enormous outlasts nineteen other wrestlers and wins the Battle Royal. He gets to challenge for the World Championship at Champ Clash [***]

PRO's Top 151 Wrestlers of 1979...Page 5

Exploring the Territories Far and Wide...Page 9

How To Collect Eight Championships...Page 14

[Slashmaster]

Beverly Hills, CA

Sunday, February 3 1980

ABCW Superstar Saturday Review [**]

by Philip C. McGraw

- Backstage Politics: Pierre the Enormous is walking around backstage and runs into Mr, Tycoon and the Queen of Mean. Mr. Tycoon whispers something in Pierre's ear and they all walk off together. Intriguing. [****]

- The Mutineers vs. Officer Chip and Deputy Chief Bufallo: The Pirate and the Shark are out first and reiterate the challenge they made last month. Officer Chip's music hits and he appears on stage with microphone in hand. Chip informs us that he didn't even have to look for a tag team partner, since the commisioner, Mr. Fantasy, had already arranged for some back-up. Cue Deputy Chief Buffalo. Rogers and his partner are no match for the much stronger Bufallo, but eventually manage to tire the big man out by quickly tagging in and out. Chip tags himself in so the Chief can catch his breath, but tags back out when his opponents get the better of him. The Shark hits the Great White Strike on Deputy Chief Buffalo and this one's over. The Mutineers defeat Officer Chip and Deputy Chief Bufallo via pin [**]

- The Return of Franz Van Winkle: After spending a month recovering from the beating he took at Beyond Wardome, the former champ has requested some time to speak. He thanks Gepetto Rocco for his attempt to avenge him, but says that this is a family matter and he wants to introduce the ABCW fans to some people. Four wrestlers come out: Damon Van Winkle, Devin Van Winkle, Terry Van Winkle and their cousin: William "Freedom Fighter" Van Winkle. The Van Winkles are coming for Dr. B's title and he'd better be ready.

- Kit Pistol & Gothica vs. Valley Girl & Gorgon Tokoro: Tokoro runs roughshod over both opponents, while Valley Girl mocks them. After savagely powerbombing Kit out of the ring, Gorgon decks Gothica with a single punch to the head. Valley Girl tags in and picks up the victory. Valley Girl & Gorgon Tokoro defeat Kit Pistol & Gothica via pin [**]

- Keith Blood vs. Chet Skye: Chet is out for revenge after losing the tag titles, but is clearly unnerved by Blood. To make things worse, he also has to keep an eye out for Zombie Punk who is in Keith's corner. Skye is not on his A-game and it costs him. Keith Blood defeats Chet Skye via pin [**]

- O'Hooligan vs. Teeny Norman: It's cruiserweight action next as these two talkshow hosts get ready to settle their differences, at least that is what commentary is telling us. O'Hooligan towers over Norman and might outweigh him by at least 50 pounds and it shows in this match. Norman tries to have a regular wrestling match with his opponent, but O'Hooligan wants a straight up fight. He chops and kicks Teeny, even throwing some closed fist punches whenever the ref isn't looking. The Irishman is running his mouth all the way through, even when Norman momentarily gets the upper hand. O'Hooligan counters by going berserk and brings things to a close. O'Hooligan defeats Teeny Norman via pin [**]

- Doberman Duke vs. Mercenary: After their encounter in the Battle Royal these two men now square off in singles action, with both their tag-team partners at ringside. After an unremarkable match the Doberman pins the Executer. After the match all four men brawl their way up the ramp and out of the arena. Doberman Duke defeats Mercenary via pin [**]

- The Schmuck vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Starbright wants to celebrate her victory over Valley Girls at the P4V, but is interrupted by the Schmuck, who starts complaining about how all these women are taking away his TV time, even though none of them are remotely as good a wrestler as he is. The Princess tells him to prove it and swiftly defeats the pathetic little man. Princess Starbright defeats the Schmuck via pin [**]

- Handicap Match: The Gladiators of Aethra vs. ABCW TV Champion Starboy: Starboy is out first and waits for his tag team partner to appear, but Pop King is nowhere to be found. The Gladiators' music starts playing and the gruesome twosome appear. Brute is dragging Pop King's unconcious body behind him. Massacre tells the TV Champ that if he wants to fight the Gladiators, he will have to do so on his own. An agitated Starboy storms at his opponent, thereby accepting their challenge. Brute restrains Starboy, while Massacre lays in the punches, followed by a Decapitator. The Gladiators of Aethra defeat Starboy via pin [**]

Cash Me Outside: Mr. Tycoon's millions...Page 7

The Van Winkles: A Dysfunctional Family...Page 11

Valerie Fantasy's Outrageous Birthday Bash...Page 16

[Slashmaster]

Springfield, NT

Monday, February 11 1980

ABCW Sunday Night Slam Review [***]

by M. Szyslak

- The Mullet Cousins vs. The Mutineers - After last week's loss Officer Chip has made a call to his family in Bucksnort, Tennessee and his cousins Zeke and Cletus answered the call. The Mullets have been deputized into the ABPD (America's Best Police Department) and try to bring Rogers and his aquatic accomplice to justice, but fail miserably. A swift Swashbuckler  sends Zeke to Davey Jones' Locker. The Mutineers defeat the Mullet Cousins via pin [**]

- Gepetto Rocco vs. O'Hooligan - O'Hooligan is out first and puts over the sponsor of this match: Duff Beer. After downing his drink he tells us he is not just here to drink a delicious beverage, but he also wants to cross another name of his hitlist. Teeny Norman wronged him by trying to overshadow his talkshow. His next target is Gepetto Rocco. When Rocco made his big announcement earlier this year he should have done so in O'Hooligan's Pub and not in the Playhouse. Rocco arrives and the bell rings. O'Hooligan and the wily veteran brings out the best in eachother. O'Hooligan defeats Gepetto Rocco via pin [****]

- Handicap Match: Big Money vs. Buzzsaw: After being eliminated from the Battle Royal by Buzzsaw, Mr. Tycoon had challenged the patriotic powerhouse to a match. Buzzsaw accepted and even let Tycoon pick a stipulation, which turned out to be a big mistake. In last week's broadcast we saw the millionaire approach Pierre, who is now his partner in this two on one handicap match. Buzzsaw held his own against two opponents for quite some time, but after a while Big Money's manager Queen of Mean started getting involved. Tycoon pins his opponent and inflicts further damage after the bell had rung by locking in the Money Maker. Big Money defeat Buzzsaw via pin [****]

- The Dobermans vs. The Executers: The only logical thing to do after things turned ugly last week was to put all four men involved in this tag team match. Both Dobermans and Mercenary are some of the best technical wrestlers in the world, but it was Spazz's inclusion in this match that made it interesting. The powerful Canadian forced the opposing team out of their comfort zone and had them try to match Spazz in strenght. They eventually resorted to an amazing elevated Doberslam to bring this match to a close. The Dobermans defeat the Executers via pin [****]

- Scare Tactics: The tag-team champions are walking around in a foggy, oddly lit graveyard. After they reach a row of headstones they stop walking and turn to the camera. Keith says that if the Neon Express want their rematch, they just have to ask for it. He urges them to think long and hard before making their decision, because there might be grave consequences if they lose. The camera pans to the headstones and the names on them are revealed: Chet Skye and Jessie Wild. [***]

- The Van Winkle 3 vs. Ruffian, Johnny Kobra & ABCW World Champion Dr. B: The Van Winkles waste little time going after the World Champion. It is clear that Franz has trained his sons well, as they are in control for most of the match. Dr. B and the Bullies lack the same in-ring chemistry, despite having teamed together before. Terry puts Ruffian away with the Van Winkle Claw, but suffers the consequences. Dr. B savagely beats down the Texas native, while the Bullies keep his brothers at a distance. Franz and William run in to save Terry, so the champ and his cronies make a run for it. The Doctor calls out Devin and Damon and says he will fight both of them at St. Valentine's Day Massacre. The Van Winkle 3 defeat Ruffian, Johnny Kobra and ABCW World Champion Dr. B via pin [***]

- Massacre vs. Chameleon Kid: A short exhibition match in which the number one contender for the TV Championship reminds Starboy why he should fear him. Massacre defeats Chameleon Kid via pin [**]

- Shots Fired: Honest Al tries to get the truth out of Kit Pistol, who is all to happy to talk. She puts the blame for last week's loss on Gothica and reminds us that she is still yet to be pinned or submitted. [***]

- ABCW Ladies Championship Match: Valley Girl vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Valley Girl has spent the entire week begging her father for another shot at the title, untill Mr. Fantasy finally relented. She even got permission for Gorgon Tokoro to stay at ringside for "emotional support." The only downside for Valerie is that if she doesn't beat the Princess, she doesn't get to challenge for the championship as long as Starbright reigns. Tokoro's presence at ringside proves to be Valerie's undoing as a wild punch meant for Starbright lands on Valley Girl's nose. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright defeats Valley Girl via pin [**]

O'Hooligan's Pub closed? Here's an alternative!...Page 3

Contemplating Suicide...Page 6

Prank Calls. I KNOW IT'S YOU, SPARKS!...Page 13

Contemplating Dragonfly...Page 14

[Slashmaster]

New York City, NY

Sunday, February 17 1980

ABCW Weekend Wrasslin' Review [***]

by Oscar T. Grouch

- Challenge Accepted: The show starts and the Neon Express make their way into the arena, jump the barricade and make their way through the crowd. Jessie declares that they accept the Tag Team Champions' challenge and that they will meet them at St. Valentine's Massacre. Skye takes the mic from his partner and says that while Blood and Zombie Punk hide amongst the dead in a graveyard, they are here in this live crowd. The crowd gets on their feet and starts cheering even louder than they were before. [****]

- America's Best Police Department (Cletus Mullet, Zeke Mullet & Deputy Chief Buffalo) vs. The Mutineers & Drool: Chip has sent all his cronies after Rogers and the Shark, so they outnumber the Mutineers four to two. The Officer decides he doesn't need to get involved, so he lets his underlings do the dirty work while he walks to the back. Buffalo and the Mullets start beating down the perps. Unfortunatly for the ABPD Chief Buffalo's old nemesis Drool is here to make the save and the official informs us that this is now a 6-man tag match. With Drool here to counteract Bufallo's immense strenght, the Mutineers have no problem putting away the Mullet Cousins. Swashbuckler! One. Two. Three. The Mutineers & Drool defeat ABPD via pin [***]

- Non-Title Match: Cesar Sleaze vs. ABCW TV Champion Starboy: It only took Massacre two minutes to put away the Chameleon Kid last week and Starboy is determined to show that he can do it better. Sleaze's shoulders hit the mat after just one minute and forty seconds. ABCW TV Champion Starboy defeats Cesar Sleaze via pin [**]

- Big Money vs. The B-Boys: Now that Pierre has helped Tycoon deal with his problem, Tycoon says he will return the favor. To prepare for his fight against Dr. B at Champ Clash he has arranged for Pierre to fight two smaller hoodlums. We already knew Tycoon is a prick, but comments like these are sure to make the Doctors blood boil. The bell rings and Pierre knocks both opponents out and stacks them on top of eachother. He puts his foot on Zap's chest and this one's over. Big Money defeats the B-Boys via pin [**]

- Officer Chip vs. Rad Racer: Officer Chip is berating the rest of the ABPD backstage when they are interrupted by the sound of a dirtbike approaching them. Chip uses his baton to hit the Rad Racer of his bike and instructs Buffalo to drag his opponent to the ring so he can show them how to win a match. The referee asks the Racer if he is good to go and gets a nod. The bell rings and the two have a surprisingly good match, especially considering that Rad Racer just made a crash landing. Good thing he was wearing a helmet at the time! Maybe he should have kept it on to protect him from the Cop Drop. Officer Chip defeats Rad Racer via pin [****]

- O'Hooligan's Pub: O'Hooligan says he is done with Norman and Gepetto, so now he can move on to bigger and better things. We will have to stay tuned to find out what these bigger and better things are. [*****]

- A Friend in Need: Buzzsaw is working out in an attempt to keep his mind of last week's loss. He is approached by the Freedom Fighter, William Van Winkle. If Buzzsaw wants revenge on Big Money, Freedom Fighter has his back. [*****]

- The Van Winkles (Damon & Devin) vs. The Frat Boy Bullies: To prepare for their upcoming title match against the World Champion, the Van Winkles try to take out his friends. Ruffian's brutish strenght and Kobra's martial arts expertise are no match for the technical expertise of the Van Winkles. The Van Winkles defeat the Frat Boy Bullies via pin. [**]

- Valley Girl vs. Kit Pistol: Valley Girl is looking to redeem herself and her target is the self-proclaimed "undefeated" Kit Pistol. The undefeated streak comes to an end here, as a Chill Pill puts Kit down for the count. Valley Girl defeats Kit Pistol via pin. [**]

Trash Bag Wrestlers...Page 2

Duke Droese: Misunderstood Genius...Page 8

Life on the Street...Page 9

[Slashmaster]

Casterly Rock, Westeros

Monday, February 25 1980

ABCW St. Valentine's Day Massacre Review

by T. Lannister

- ABCW TV Championship Match: Massacre vs. ABCW TV Champion Starboy: After a few minutes of back and forth Brute decides to get involved and causes a disqualification. The Gladiators start beating down the TV Champ. ABCW TV Champion Starboy defeats Massacre via disqualification [*]

- Invasion: An ominous march starts playing and the Gladiators stop their beatdown, fall down to their knees and bow their heads. From out of the darkness an imposing figure appears, the infamous Dark Invader. The Emperor of Evil strides to the ring and tells the Gladiators to hoist Starboy up. Invader tells the TV Champion that he will make him remember who he really is and hit the Star Destroyer [*****]

- ABCW Ladies Championship Steel Cage Match: Gorgon Tokoro vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Since Tokoro holds a singles victory over the reigning Ladies Champion she gets this championship match. The Steel Cage stipulation was added to make sure Valley Girl does not get involved. As soon as the bell rings Starbright turns into Tokoro's personal punching bag. The Princess tries to fight back at first, but nothing she does seems to faze the Japanese juggernaut, so she creates some distance and climbs up the side of the cage. Tokoro tries to get the champ back in the ring, but is too slow. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright defeats Gorgon Tokoro via escape [*]

- ABCW Tag Team Championship Match: The Neon Express vs. ABCW Tag Team Champions Keith Blood & Zombie Punk: Chet and Jessie seemed to have learned from their previous match against the current champs, as they isolate Zombie Punk in the Express' corner and don't let him get anywhere near Blood. Keith breaks up a pinfall attempt, but gets a Torpedo Dropkick for his trouble, while Jessie puts the Zombie down for the count. The Neon Express defeat Keith Blood & Zombie Punk via pin [***] -  NEW CHAMPIONS!

- Submission Match: Mercenary vs. Doberman Duke: The normally cool and collected Mercenary has not taken his previous losses to the Doberman well and has demanded this match to show the world who the better man is once and for all. He uses every dirty trick in the book to gain the upper hand and slaps on the Cloverleaf. Mercenary defeats Doberman Duke via submission [**]

- First Blood Match: Cletus Mullet vs. The Shark: Cletus is looking to redeem himself in Chip's eyes by taking out the Shark. The two enemies lay into eachother with punches, chairs and kendo sticks, trying to inflict as much damage as possible with each strike. Chip, who is at ringside, hands Cletus a barbed wire board, which is smashed over the Shark's back. The Great White screams in agony, but doesn't bleed yet. Maybe Cletus should have realised sooner that it wasn't a good idea to get in a First Blood match against an opponent who is in a full body suit. The ABPD deputy ups the aggression, which leads the Shark to make a desperation move: He bites Cletus's forehead untill blood starts streaming down his face. The Shark defeats Cletus Mullet via bleeding [***]

- Cruiserweight Championship Challenge: As soon as it is announced that he has won the match the Shark tries to get out of the arena, but runs into Zeke Mullet and Deputy Chief Buffalo. The Red Pirate shows up and helps the Shark get away from the two hosses. Chip goes straight for Rogers and the two come to blows. Security has to pull the two men apart. While they are both being restrained we see someone run in from the back and whisper something in the lead announcer's ear. The announcer takes to the ring and tells us that Rogers and Chip will have a match to decide the first ever Cruiserweight Champion in the main event of next week's Superstar Saturday. [***]

- Big Money vs. Buzzsaw & William "Freedom Fighter" Van Winkle: Buzzsaw is out for revenge and is dying to get his hands on Mr. Tycoon, but the millionair has decided to let Pierre do the dirty work. Buzzsaw and Van Winkle tire the giant out with quick tags and Tycoon is forced to tag in to save the match. Freedom Fighter tags Buzzsaw back in and the All-American athlete runs rampant. A trio of Gorrila Press Slams are followed up by a Combat Splash and a three count. Buzzsaw & Freedom Fighter defeat Big Money via pin [***]

- ABCW World Championship Handicap Match: Damon Van Winkle & Devin Van Winkle vs. ABCW World Champion Dr. B: The Van Winkles are supposed to come out first, but they don't show up when their music starts playing. A few seconds later we hear the champ's music and the Doctor strolls to the ring with a smirk on his face. He leans against the ropes and awaits his opponents. The Van Winkles arrive, but something is wrong. Damon has a black eye and Devin is walking with a limb. The champ targets their injuries and lays in heavy punches and uppercuts. The brothers try to get the better of the bigger man, but are too injured to be a real threat. B throws Damon over the top rope and nails Devin with a Clubber. ABCW World Champion Dr. B defeats Damon Van Winkle & Devin Van Winkle via pin [**]

Pop King has complete faith in close confidants...Page 3

The Symbolism of Mighty Leo...Page 5

The Schmuck pays his debts...Page 8

Are midget wrestlers coming to ABCW?...Page 11

Mr. Codger send his regards...Page 14

[Slashmaster]

Cyberspace

Sunday, March 9 1980

ABCW Superstar Saturday Review [***]

by Saint Eriaca

- Valley Girl & Gorgon Tokoro vs. Glam & ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: Princess Starbright is looking to move on from her rivalry with Valley Girl, so she teams up with long time friend Glam to take on the spoiled brat and her imposing bodyguard. Tokoro is dying to get her hands on the champ after Starbright fled from her on the P4V. She charges at Starbright, but gets a face full of ringpost when the champion moves out of the way. Valley Girl attacks the Princess from behind, which gives Tokoro time to get back to her corner and make the tag official. Starbright brings in her partner and Glam dazzles the audience with her unique offense. Valley Girl turns tail and brings Tokoro back into play and the Princess requests to be tagged back in as well. She immeadiatly hits a Rainbow Connection, but only gets a two count. Gorgon is dazed and does not see the next two Rainbow Connections coming. Starbright puts her down for the three count. Glam & ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright defeat Valley Girl & Gorgon Tokoro via pin [***]

- Drinks with the Champ: O'Hooligan is in a good mood and tells us that he has a very special guest tonight. Dr. B is here and the two greet eachother like old friends. The champ gets served a nice tall glass of Duff Beer and sits down at the bar with the loudmouth from Bastardstown. The two discuss Dr. B's title defence at St. Valentine's Day Masacre and O'Hooligan tells us that he has some footage of the champ's win to show the audience. We see security footage on which O'Hooligan and the Frat Boy Bullies ambush the Van Winkles before the match. O'Hooligan quickly tells the production staff to cut the footage and play the right tape, but we are out of time. [*****]

- Kit Pistol & Gothica vs. The Rassle Roses (Succubus & Elfette): With the Ladies Championship picture now wide open these four ladies are looking to make a name for themselves. It is clear to see that there is still some resentment from Gothica towards her tag team partner, since Kit openly blamed their last tag team loss on Gothica. The Rassle Roses are quick to capitalize on this and attack their opponents verbally as well as physically. Eventually the mind games get to Kit and she walks out, leaving Gothica to fight a losing battle against the Roses. The Rassle Roses defeat Kit Pistol & Gothica via pin [***]

- Dark Invader & The Gladiators of Aethra vs. ABCW TV Champion Starboy & ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express: With the mastermind behind the Gladiators' attacks on Starboy now finally revealed, Lord Invader teams up with his underlings to take on Starboy. The TV Champ has found some high caliber back-up in the form of the newly minted Tag Team Champions. Skye and Wild quickly remind us why they are the best tag team in the company and get to show their impressive arsenal of aerial manouvers against the Gladiators. This goes on for a couple of minutes, but things take a dark turn when the Invader enters the ring. The Dark Emperor chokes Wild out and tosses him aside, after having already done so to his partner. This forces Starboy to get involved in this match for the first time. The TV Champ seems reluctant to fight his much larger opponent, but Invader has no such qualms. Dark Invader & The Gladiators of Aethra defeat ABCW TV Champion Starboy & ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express via pin [***]

- Cletus Mullet vs. Zap: Two men who haven't had the best luck as of late are looking to get back on the right track. Unfortunately for Mullet, there can only be one winner. Zap defeats Cletus Mullet via pin [***]

- Mr. Tycoon w/ Queen of Mean vs. Buzzsaw: Buzzsaw finally gets the match he has been clamoring for ever since January's Battle Royal, but his opponent is not happy about this at all. Pierre is not at ringside, so Tycoon relies heavily on his manager. Queen of Mean causes distraction throughout the match, making the referee miss a few visible three counts in the process. The Queen is banished from ringside by the official after getting in his face one time too many and Buzzsaw finally puts his opponent away. After the match Tycoon reveals why Pierre wasn't at ringside: he was preparing for a match against Freedom Fighter later tonight. Buzzsaw defeats Mr. Tycoon via pin [***]

- Mercenary vs. The Shark: With Doberman Duke now firmly in his rearside mirror, Mercenary can finally get back to business. Someone has placed a bounty on the Shark's head and Mercenary is here to collect. Mercenary defeats the Shark via pin [***]

- Pierre the Enormous vs. William "Freedom Fighter" Van Winkle: Pierre fares much better against his opponent than his tag team partner did against Buzzsaw earlier tonight. He is looking to avenge his loss at the P4V, but is surprised to find out that Van Winkle can almost match him blow for blow. Pierre is clearly inflicting a lot of damage on his opponent, but no matter what he does his opponent gets back up. A wild haymaker by Pierre ends up missing Freedom Fighter and lands square in the referee's face, who is knocked out cold. The two wrestlers continue their fight despite the referee's momentary loss of conciousness, so neither man notices Mr. Tycoon running in and hitting Van Winkle over the head with his cane. Tycoon raises his hand for another hit, but William catches the cane and cracks the bald man over the head with it. He then proceeds to attack both members of Big Money, but unfortunately the official had regained his senses and called for the bell. Pierre the Enormous defeats Freedom Fighter via disqualification [***]

- ABCW Cruiserweight Championship Match: Red Pirate Rogers vs. Officer Chip: After a chase that has lasted for well over two months the Officer finally gets his hands on the thief Rogers. While the audience booed the Red Pirate when he first stole the title at the tail end of 1979, they are now firmly on his side. What starts as a singles match becomes a messy affair, as other members of the ABPD run in to ensure Chip walks away with the gold. The ever elusive Rogers uses his agility to evade charging attacks from both Zeke Mullet and Deputy Chief Buffalo, leading to a collision between the two hosses. With both big men now incapacitated Rogers goes for the Swashbuckler. Red Pirate Rogers defeats Officer Chip via pin [**] NEW CHAMPION

Catch You Later Dudes! Wyld Stallyns to miss September appearance...Page 3

Big Poppa Slam confirms: I'm never going to wrestle!...Page 4

80MWR Pro Boards: America's Surf Shop...Page 10

[Slashmaster]

Springwood, OH

Monday, March 17 1980

ABCW Sunday Night Slam Review [***]

by Nancy Thompson

- The Rassle Roses vs. Glam & ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: With momentum on their side Elfette and Succubus waste no time going straight for the champion. The Princess holds her own against these two skilled opponents, but her tag team partner has trouble keeping up. Elfette puts Starbright's protegé in an Enchanted Sleeper and seconds later we have ourselves a winner. The Rassle Roses defeat Glam & ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright via submission [**]

- Dark Invader vs. Moon Man: After Invader made his presence known in last week's six man tag match by pinning the reigning TV Champion, the Emperor has become the new number one contender for the TV Championship. Unfortunately Starboy hasn't shown up for his scheduled championship defence, so his tag team partner has stepped up and taken his place. Moon Man gives it all he has, but Invader is clearly on a different level and uses the Choke Lift. The Cape Canaveral cosmonaut escapes and goes to the top rope for a Rocket Launch. Invader catches him and slams his opponent to the mat with a bone crushing Star Destroyer. Dark Invader defeats Moon Man via pin [***]

- Into the Crowd: As the referee announces the winner something is clearly going on in the crowd. The camera pans over to find out what the cause of the disturbance is and we see Starboy standing near one of the entrances with his title around his waist. The TV Champion seems to consider coming to his friend's rescue, but turns tail and runs. Invader seems amused by this. [****]

- Van Winkles (Damon & Devin) vs. O'Hooligan & ABCW World Champion Dr. B: The Van Winkle brothers are out for revenge on the man who attacked them at St. Valentine's Day Massacre, but the Irish loudmouth has joined forces with the World Champion. Damon and Devin had trouble putting the champion down when they had a two on one advantage, so it is impressive that they are doing this well when they have to worry about one more person in the opposing corner. Unfortunately the mat game of the brothers only takes them so far, as O'Hooligan uses underhanded tactics to swing momentum back to their team's side and creates an opening for the Doctor to come in and clean house. O'Hooligan & ABCW World Champion Dr. B defeat the Van Winkles via pin [***]

- Non-Title Match: Deputy Chief Buffalo vs. ABCW Cruiserweight Champion Red Pirate Rogers: Chip has sent in the heavy hitter to do the job he couldn't do last week. The newly minted champion wants to show the audience that his coronation wasn't just a fluke and goes straight for the bigger man, laying in punches and forearms. The Deputy Chief isn't impressed and shrugs it off as if it were nothing, before knocking Rogers across the ring with a single blow. The Red Pirate realises that he has to change tactics and employs a more speed based offence, which proves to be very effective. ABCW Cruiserweight Champion Red Pirate Rogers defeats Deputy Chief Buffalo via pin [**]

- Last of the Van Winkles: Freedom Fighter is pacing around, fuming over the beating his cousins took at the hands of the World Champion. Buzzsaw walks in and tells William that he appreciates the help he has given him against Big Money, but that he knows that isn't the reason Freedom Fighter came to ABCW. Buzzsaw has seen how the World Champion has destroyed the other Van Winkles and he can stand it no longer. He will help William take the World Championship. [***]

- The Shark vs. Spazz: The Shark wants to know why Mercenary decided to target him and decides to target his tag team partner to get some answers. Spazz hasn't been given a lot of time to prepare for his opponent, who starts circling the ring upon his arrival. The Executer uses high impact moves to keep his opponent at bay, but the frenzied Shark isn't deterred. Attack after attack tire the canuck out and he doesn't see the Great White Strike coming. The Shark defeats Spazz via pin [***]

- A New Nightmare: Keith Blood and the Zombie Punk are back on the graveyard. They walk past the headstones with the Neon Express' names on it and Blood says this will have to wait. A few metres further down the path the terrifying twosome comes to a halt and Keith tells Punk to start digging. After tossing aside a few fistfulls of dirt a giant hand emerges from the ground and grabs the Zombie's neck. A giant lumbering figure in a striped sweater and a hockey mask emerges from the grave. The Springfield crowd starts to panic, since they are all too familiar with the undead nightmare on the screen. Slashmaster has arrived. [****]

- Tag Team Championship Match: The Gladiators of Aethra vs. ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express: Last week's six-man tag victory over the champions has earned the Gladiators a championship match. They would've had a chance if Dark Invader was joining them in the ring, but without their boss here to do the heavy lifting they have a hard time against the champions. The Neon Express are the better men tonight. ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express defeat the Gladiators of Aethra via pin [*]

Helga Schmidt wins A1R1 Rumble...Page 2

Sleep Apnea: A Silent Killer...Page 5

Advertisement: Krueger's Fedora Emporium...Page 6

[Slashmaster]

Liar's Berg, Pandora

Monday, March 24 1980

ABCW Weekend Wrasslin' Review [***]

by Sir Alistair Hammerlock

- A Snake In The Grass: Reptile Ranger is here for the first time since his appearance in the Battle Royal and has something to say. The Australian native tells the crowd that he is tired of being overlooked and he is ready to take his spot at the top of the ABCW mountain. The whole roster is put on notice [****]

- The Gladiators of Aethra vs. the Moon Walkers (Pop King & ABCW TV Champion Starboy): Pop King wants to get his hands on Dark Invader after the beating fellow Moon Walker Moon Man took last week. To get to his target he will have to go through the Gladiators and he puts on the best performance of his life. It's a shame that the same thing can not be said about his tag team partner. With the spectre of Invader still looming large over him Starboy seems distracted and moves at half his usual speed. Pop King has to come to the TV Champion's rescue on more than one occassion and is essentially fighting a handicap match. This catches up to the King in the end, leaving him unable to defend himself from a brutal Decapitator. The Gladiators of Aethra defeat the Moon Walkers via pin [***]

- Nightbreed (Succubus, Keith Blood & Zombie Punk w/ Slashmaster vs. Glam & ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express: One week before their Tag Team Championship match the Nightbreed meet the champions in the ring once more. Glam joins the champs to try and get even with Succubus, but the most notable person is the humongous Slashmaster who stalks the Neon Express from outside the ring. Punk and Blood take every chance they get to throw their opponents over the top rope, into the grasp of the harrowing hulk. Chet and Jesse become a bit more cautious than they usually are and keep one eye on Slashmaster at all times, which proves to be their undoing. The distracted Skye get hit with a Brainbuster by Zombie Punk, of all people, and the Nightbreed look strong going into Shamrock Skirmish. Nightbreed defeats Glam & ABCW Tag Team Champions via pin [**]

- Frat Boy Bullies vs. William "Freedom Fighter" Van Winkle vs. Buzzsaw: To make sure that their are no distractions when Freedom Fighter goes after the World Champion, he and Buzzsaw are going to take out the Bullies. The match could have been won after a few minutes,  but the All-American team are determined to put a hurting on the opposing wrestlers. It is safe to say that they won't get involved on the P4V. Freedom Fighter & Buzzsaw defeat the Frat Boy Bullies via pin [**]

- Teeny Norman vs. The Schmuck: The Schmuck is running his mouth about how the women have once again taken his main event match. Norman is tired of hearing about it and shuts him up in the ring. Teeny Norman defeats the Schmuck via pin [***]

- Candid Camera: Unbeknownst to the Executers a camera is following them from a distance. The two meet with O'Hooligan in the parking lot and the Irishman hands them a wad of cash. Could O'Hooligan be the one that put the bounty on the Shark's head? [***]

- Suspension: Pierre and Tycoon are working out when they are approaced by a messenger with a letter from Mr. Fantasy. Tycoon reads the letter and informs Pierre that they are barred from appearing on Shamrock Skirmish after they tried to ambush Freedom Fighter two weeks ago. If they do get involved in the World Championship match Pierre will forfeit his title shot at Champ Clash. [*****]

- The Mutineers (The Shark & ABCW Cruiserweight Champion Red Pirate Rogers) vs. O'Hooligan & ABCW World Champion Dr. B: The Mutineers confront O'Hooligan about the footage shown earlier tonight. The Irish loudmouth says that there is no point in hiding it now and it becomes clear that he is after the Cruiserweight Championship. If O'Hooligan wants a shot at the champ he will have to earn it and the first step to doing that will be to defeat the Mutineers in tag team action. O'Hooligan teams with the World Champion, who still owes the Bastardtown bruiser a favor. Rogers is a bit more savvy to O'Hooligan's underhanded tactics than the Van Winkles were last week, but he has never faced an opponent as powerful as Dr. B. The Shark tries to help, but walks into a Barroom Brawl. After knocking the Cruiserweight Champion out B walks over to his corner and graciously allows O'Hooligan to make the pin. O'Hooligan & ABCW World Champion Dr. B defeat the Mutineers via pin [***]

- Non-Title Match: Elfette vs. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright: There is nothing pretty about the gorgeous Elfette's tactics tonight. It seems that she is not interested in winning this match, only in hurting the Princess as much as possible. As she stops inflicting damage to gloat, the champ quickly rolls her up. ABCW Ladies Champion Princess Starbright defeats Elfette via pin [*]

Hunting Hairy: Fact or Fiction?...Page 4

From the Vault: WoW's Hidden Gems...Page 8

Bounty Hunting & Moustache Management...Page 11

[Slashmaster]

Dublin, Ireland

Monday, March 31 1980

ABCW Shamrock Skirmish Review [***]

by Paul David Hewson

- ABCW TV Championship Match: Dark Invader w/ the Gladiators of Aethra vs. ABCW TV Champion Starboy w/ The Moon Walkers: Just like everytime Starboy has come face to face with his nemesis before, the TV Champ seems to be frozen in place. Invader charges in with a clothesline and decks Starboy. Pop King and Moon Man urge Starboy to snap out of it and finally, after all these weeks, it seems like their voices get through to him. Starboy begins mounting an offence and Invader is temporarily taken aback. The Evil Emperor is on the ropes and the TV champ charges in, only to eat dirt when Invader moves out of the way. Lord Invader instructs the Gladiators to attack the Moon Walkers. Starboy tries to help his friends, but Invader puts him in a submission hold, so the champ can only look on as his friends are made to suffer by Brute and Massacre. Eventually Starboy stops struggling and Invader lifts his motionless body up for the Star Destroyer. Dark Invader defeats ABCW TC Champion Starboy via pin [****] NEW CHAMPION!

- O'Hooligan's Pub: Spazz enters the pub and appears to be furious. The Executer's deal with O'Hooligan was supposed to be concluded, but Mercenary is still scheduled to take on the Shark. O'Hooligan shrugs it off and says it can't be helped. It's the Canadians' problem now. Spazz contemplates giving the Irishman a clobbering, but thinks better of it. He leaves as O'Hooligan downs a pint of Guinness to the delight of the Dublin crowd.[****]

- ABCW Tag Team Championship Match: Shop of Horrors vs. ABCW Tag Team Champions Neon Express: Slashmaster has already proven to be a problem for the six-man tag match, even when he wasn't officially involved in it. Now that he is an active competitor in the match the stakes have been raised even more and Chet and Jesse are scrambling to find a way to take the ghoul down. Their usual attacks don't seem to bother Slashmaster, who swats them away as if they are flies. While Jesse tries to keep the giant at bay on his own Chet climbs to a camera platform near the ring for a desperation move. Keith Blood appears behind him and pushes the High Flying Kid off, plummeting to his doom. With no one to back him up Jesse is forced to take on the Shop on his own, but does not fare well. While Keith distracts the referee, the Slashmaster goes to town on Wild, throwing him around the ring and goes as far as to break one of his arms. The referee makes teh count and quickly figure out that the situation is far more dire than he first thought. He throws up the X and medical personnel comes to the former Tag Team Champion's aid. Shop of Horrors defeats Neon Express via pin [***] NEW CHAMPIONS!

- Dramatic Promo: Red Pirate Rogers has had enough of O'Hooligan's cowardly tactics. Putting a bounty on his tag team partner's head was taking it one step too far. If the Irishman wants a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship he just has to name a time and place and Rogers will be there to kick his ass. [***]

- I Quit Match: Mercenary vs. The Shark: The Shark wants revenge on Mercenary for his attack on him a couple of weeks ago, while Mercenary just wants this whole thing to be over. He quickly lost interest in the Shark after he had received his money. To make sure that this is their final confrontation he requested the "I Quit" stipulation, which the Shark promptly accepted. This rash decision would prove to be the aquatic athlete's undoing, as Mercenary is clearly the more proficient technical wrestlers. The Canadian applies a plethora of submission moves, but the Shark toughs it out. Mercenary realises he is going to need a bigger move and uses a modified version of his Canadian Cloverleaf. Mercenary defeats the Shark via submission [**]

- ABCW World Championship Match: William "Freedom Fighter" Van Winkle vs. ABCW World Champion Dr. B: Dr. B starts out by running his mouth about how he already took care of Freedom Fighter's cousins and how he put his uncle out of the business. This enrages Freedom Fighter, who charges at the champ. Punches are thrown. Fists fly. The two go blow for blow and what was supposed to be a wrestling match quickly devolves in a street fight. As the fight goes on the Doctor seemingly starts to respect his opponent. A sly smile appears on his face as he gets back to his feet and exchanges blows with his opponent once more. Suddenly a number of men in black ski-masks charges the ring and starts attacking both competitors. The referee calls for the bell, but the masked men don't care and force the World Champion to the mat. Freedom Fighter comes to the Doctor's rescue and they fight off the men together. Big Money appears on stage and Tycoon has Mr. Fantasy's letter in his hand. He states that since they didn't get involved in the match Pierre still gets his title match at Champ Clash. Now that the match is officially over Pierre is free do as he pleases. The French giant lumbers towards the ring and the battered and bruised competitors in it brace themselves. They are too beaten up to be any challenge for Pierre, who stands victorious in the end. Double disqualification [**]

Elevation & Vertigo: Dangers of the Ladder Match...Page 1

Sunday Bloody Sunday: Most violent P4Vs...Page 6

Parts Unknown: Where The Streets Have No Name...Page 8

With Or Without You: The Tag Team Wrestler's Dillema...Page 11

Why Wearing Sunglasses Indoors Makes You Look Like A Douche...Page 16

[Slashmaster]

Philadelphia, PA

Sunday, April 6 1980

ABCW Superstar Saturday Review [***]

by Charlie Kelly

As ABCW is gearing up for their biggest P4V of the year they have decided to raise some funds by taking on a couple of sponsors. This episode of ABCW Superstar Saturday is brought to you by Frank's Fluids LLC, which is a legitimate company. Not a shell company or a tax scam, as some people might say.

This match is sponsored by Honey & Vinegar Realty: Partners in real estate and partners in life.

- Zen vs. Goblinknight: Zen has returned to ABCW after a long absence. For months he has been traveling the independent circuit and making new friends and enemies. One of those new enemies is standing across the ring from him. After their countless battles Zen knows what to expect from the creepy combatant and counters his every move. Zen defeats Goblinknight via pin [***]

This match is sponsored by Wolf Cola: the official drink of Boko Haram.

- Succubus vs. Gothica: There is no stopping Succubus as she makes her way to the top of the Ladies division. Gothica only proves to be a minor speedbump for the ravenous redhead. Succubus defeats Gothica via pin [***]

- Tag Team Tournament: Mr. Fantasy is in the ring to adress the Tag Team Championship match at Shamrock Skirmish. Jessie Wild's injuries will prevent him from competing for the foreseeable future and that cannot go unpunished. It seems like Fantasy was about to announce that Slashmaster would be suspended, but the lights cut out and as they come back on the Shop of Horrors are in the ring with the commisioner. Blood urges Fantasy to finish making his announcement and the owner seems nervous. He makes no more mention of the supposed consequences for the new Tag Team Champs. Instead he announces that they will crown a new number one contender on Sunday Night Slam. There will be two qualifying matches tonight to see who will be in the number one contender's match next week. [***]

This match is sponsored by CharDee MacDennis: the Game of Games.

- Qualifying Match: Howl & Roar vs. Frat Boy Bullies: The first qualifying match kicks off with a bang. Howl & Roar are clearly the better team, but their opponents get a chance to shine as well. The Frat Boy Bullies put on the best match of their lives, but fall to their superior foes. Howl & Roar defeat Frat Boy Bullies via pin [****]

This match is sponsored by Paddy's Pub: Philadelphia's oldest bar.

- Qualifying Match: The Dobermans vs. The Executers: It seems like these two teams are destined to do this forever. As soon as the bell rings the grapplers resume their hostilities, going punch for punch and hold for hold. The Dobermans are the better men this time around and move on to next week's number one contender's match, but they can be sure that they haven't seen the last of the Executers. Howl & Roar arrive and size their future opponents up, after which they all shake hands The Dobermans defeat the Executers via pin [***]

This match is sponsored by Fight Milk: the first alcoholic, dairy-based protein drink for bodyguards, by bodyguards. Fight Milk contains crow eggs, milk & vodka. Fight Milk might contain performance enhancing steroids. Please consult your doctor before ingesting Fight Milk.

- Keith Blood w/ Slashmaster vs. Zombie Punk: The Shop of Horrors arrives and Keith mockingly wishes both teams in the ring good luck next week. As soon as the other tag-teams have made their way to the back he gives Slashmaster a nod. The colossus decks Zombie Punk and Blood tells the referee to start the match. Keith goes for the pin straight away and it seems like Zombie Punk has been excommunicated from the Shop. Keith Blood defeats Zombie Punk via pin [*]

This match is sponsored by Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties: Nothing to see here.

- Reptile Ranger vs. Pierre the Enormous: When Reptile Ranger put the entire roster on notice few could have predicted that he would go after the biggest man in the promotion first. Pierre underestimates the Australian at first, but soon learns that he needs to step his game up. We see Pierre employ a few moves that we have never seen him do, just to keep up with the Ranger. The crowd cheers as Pierre uses a Jackknife Powerbomb and Reptile Ranger is back to his feet within a second. He taunts the giant and exclaims: "That's not a Jackknife" before using the same move on Pierre. "THAT's a Jackknife!" The crowd is firmly on the Ranger's side, but their cheers come to an end as Pierre slams his opponent to the mat for the three count. Pierre the Enormous defeats Reptile Ranger via pin [****]

This match is sponsored by Shadynasty's: A Classy Joint.

- Dog Collar Match: Brute w/Massacre & ABCW TV Champion Dark Invader vs. Starboy: Starboy has already lost his title to Dark Invader, but the new TV Champion is not satisfied. He wants to break Starboy, body and soul. Brute has been selected to do the dirty work and throws the former champion around like a ragdoll. The objective of the match is to retrieve the dog collar from above the ring and put it on your opponent. Starboy is quick to retrieve the collar, but is unable to put it on his opponent, as he walks right into the biggest beating of his life. Brute defeats Starboy via collar [***]

This match is sponsored by Ass Kickers United:  Not a Cult.

- Non-Title Match: Drool vs. ABCW World Champion Dr. B: Both competitors are in the ring, when Mr. Tycoon walks out to join the commentary team. During the match he mentions Pierre's earlier victory and how easy it will be for the giant to take the World Championship from the Doctor at Champ Clash. Tycoon's commentary distracts from what is going on in the ring, where B is about to put Drool away. Mr. Tycoon causes a distraction, which allows Drool to take control of the match. Drool defeats ABCW World Champion Dr. B via pin [**]

This match is sponsored by the D.E.N.N.I.S. System: Demonstrate, Engage, Nurture, Neglect, Inspire & Seperate.

- Cruiserweight Championship Match: O'Hooligan vs. ABCW Cruiserweight Champion Red Pirate Rogers: O'Hooligan has already proven that he can talk the talk, but can he also walk the walk? The Irishman seems to think so himself as he actually tries to outwrestle his opponent. Rogers keeps up and gets the better of O'Hooligan as the match goes on. The loudmouth switches it up and tries to outsmart Rogers, but finds out that you cannot hustle a hustler. O'Hooligan's attempt at taking the Pirate's gold proves fruitless. ABCW Cruiserweight Champion Red Pirate Rogers defeats O'Hooligan via pin [***]

R'n'R announces Green Man vs. Philly Phanatic at next P4V...Page 3

The Trashman, the Talibum, Birds of War and Da'Maniac make WoW debut...Page 5

Thunder Gun Express bombs at box-office....Page 6

U.S. government proposes major changes to bird law...Page 10

[Slashmaster]

Madison Cube Garden

Monday, April 14 1980

ABCW Sunday Night Slam Review [NR]

by Philip. J. Fry

- Dark Fate: Michael T. Wolf is walking around backstage and seems to be lost in thought, probably thinking about his upcoming number one contender's match. His concentration is broken when he hears a bloodcurdling scream coming from around the corner. Wolf sprints forward and finds Mynx kneeling next to the lifeless body of Mighty Leo. Blood is pouring from the bullet holes in his tag team partner's chest. Michael is irate and demands to know what has happened. Mynx is sobbing uncontrollably, so he can't understand most of what she is saying, but he does hear one word very clearly:

Annihilator.

Michael runs around frantically untill he finally notices the Annihilator's scent. He follows it to the carpark, where the cyborg is still stumbling around. It seems like Leo and Mynx got a few decent hits in, as his clothes are torn and sparks are flying from the circuitry in his arms and head. The technology that enables the machine to travel through time must have gotten damaged as well, as he is making his way to Professor Gigawatt's DeLorean.

Michael lunges and take Annihilator down. The machine quickly goes for his gun, but Wolf gets out of the way before he can get off a shot. Annihilator makes a beeline for the car and hotwires it. Wolf enters through the passenger door. The two tangle once again and in the process a bullet hits the car's flux capacitor. Blue light engulfs the car and produces a shockwave that destroys half of the arena. As the light dies down the car, and its occupants, are gone...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Judgment Day seems inevitable...Page 2

Mighty Leo's face spotted in clouds above Pride Rock...Page 6

Crisis in Infinite Promotions...Page 52