XPW: The New 52

[elchicano]

Wrestling Viewer

January 30, 2020



Can XPW get back on top???!!

When it was announced just over 100 days ago that Rod Codger - son of legendary wrestling promoter Ronald Codger – had secured long term financial funding for a new upstart promotion, fans around the world were excited at the prospect. When he began bragging that XFactor Professional Wrestling – the XPW for short – would be less focused on ‘soap opera storytelling’ and more focused on ‘cutting edge athletes’ and ‘combat sports’ fans REALLY started to pay attention. And finally, when Codger announced his impressive initial roster and that he still had the budget to acquire start athletes from around the world – male and female alike - fans began chomping at the bit.

Those things all sound great. But can it possibly be true? Even with a built-in contingent of passionate on-line fans, can Rod Codger and the XPW hope to compete with a publicly traded, billion dollar conglomerate like Wrestle World? This new company has embraced social media and has said they would give their talent the kind of creative freedom that has unheard of since the heyday of the ‘Wrestling Wars’ era. They’ve said they are going to allow their athletes to pull out all the stops in the ring. They’ve even said that they will actually listen to their fans’ reactions and not just push roster members based on backstage politics or merchandise numbers. It all sounds like a ‘smart’ fan’s dream. Will they follow that plan to deliver a new type of product to fans or will Rod and his staff of writers and producers (most of whom grew up in the WW system) fall back on old habits when things get tough? More importantly, even if they do, will it be enough?

We’re about to find out:

After a few weeks of ‘pre-season’ BoobToob-only episodes where the company ironed out camera angles and pyro and introduced some of their title holders, the XPW is only hours away from the debut of their new weekly TV show, Friday Night Fight Club. XPW promised a seismic change in the business of professional wrestling. Is Rod Codger chasing at the ghosts of his father’s legacy? Or can he deliver on that promise and finally present a real competitor to the 800-lb gorilla that is WrestleWorld? We won’t get all the answers right away. But if truth comes from the journey, then step one on the path to enlightenment begins….TONIGHT!

[elchicano]

February 2020 Week 1, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

As the pyro goes off, Rod Codger comes out to greet a raucous XPW Studios crowd. He’s energetically hyping up the live audience when he is suddenly interrupted by a well-dressed group of dangerous looking men. Their leader – a real sleazy-type wearing lots of jewelry and a velour sweat suit – snatches the microphone away from Codger:

“My name ees ..Szandor LaVey…and we are the representation of the primary investors in this new company. You can call us….Yurashk Bratva!”

Szandor goes on to explain that Codger went looking for investors for the XPW. When more ‘traditional’ resources didn’t work out, he turned to a cabal of Russian businessmen. They sent Szandor and his group to monitor Codger and keep XPW profitable. His first decision, on behalf of these silent partners, was to make a major signing and immediately make him the XPW’s first Heavyweight Champion.

“Please welcome….Russian silver medal winner…Mixed Martial Arts world champion…and your new XPW Champion….ALEXEI MONSTRO!!!”

Monstro cuts a strong interview promising he will never be defeated and denigrating the crowd. The crowd – clearly not loving the fact that Monstro had the title handed to him – give this new faction major heat. After a few minutes, Szandor and Monstro’s stream of insults is interrupted by a huge pop when Roberto Samba (indy favorite and MMA competitor) and Massive Gaines and Jackson Good (formerly known as Jax and Mass-G in Wrestle World) shock the audience by walking through the curtain.

The three faces give the members of Bratva a roasting about their cartoonish, Mafia-esque wardrobe (“You look like a homeless man’s Tony Soprano!” “What is that…velvet?!” “WHAT ARE THOSE???”). That quickly gets the crowd behind them and has the heels ready to fight. Codger takes advantage of the break to set up a 6-man tag match as our first ever main event.

Back from the break, Professor When is trying to educate the crowd about the basic tenets of time travel and black holes, etc when high tempo Korean synth pop begins pumping through the speaks, and the crowd gets to it’s feet…

Professor When vs Jolly Foo

The show starts with an odd match between the mat-based When and the hardcore comedian, Jolly Foo. The Professor nearly wins the match after baffling Foo with a powerpoint presentation about thermal dynamics, but Foo responds with a series of vicious kendo stick shots. Where was the referee? He was blinded when Foo gave him an ‘Atomic Wedgie’ and pulled the referee’s underwear band over his own head. Foo fired up and delivered the Jolly Style off the top rope for the win!

Candy Cotton vs Rhiannon

Both women looked terrific in this match. If she debuted in Wrestle World, Rhiannon would’ve been given the belt six weeks after her first appearance. Marketing 101. Even if her finisher was just a big dumb punch. As it is, she put up a great fight but Cotton eventually caught Rhiannon in her floating octopus hold - the Beautiful Disaster- for the tap-out win.

Chester Blood – wearing his father’s infamous leather trench coat and ‘Hannibal’ face mask – is greeted by boos. He is accompanied to the ring by fellow Brit, Bayonet.

Gunslinger vs Chester Blood

For most people who followed the early beginnings and preliminary singings of the XPW – the wrestling nerds, if you will – The Gunslinger seemed like a sure thing to be one of the faces of the company. This indy darling has wrestled everywhere on the planet, but is probably best known for his ‘retirement match’ against WW Legend Arizona Chance at the Cattle Castle in 2018. He doesn’t let the audience down in this outing. He and Chester Blood tear the house down for nearly 20 minutes before Gunslinger catches Blood with a REDEMPTION!! (V-Trigger) out of the corner for the win.

After the match, Bayonet brawls with Gunslinger, which allows Blood time to recover and crack ‘Slinger across the back with his wooden walking staff.

The show cuts to a video promo. The audience is introduced to Lord Evermore. Evermore swears that he has come to XPW to ‘man the wall’ that stands between good and evil, between justice and chaos. Any man who tries to impose their will over the XPW will have to face him and his Northwood Clan.

“You will either swear to follow the Northwood Oath of Fair Play…or break that Oath..betray the Kingdom…and face the consequences.”

Back to the ring, and the fans are buzzing as they hear the familiar intro music of MassG and Jax. Now known as The New G’s, these two men had been the Wrestle World Tag Champions just a few weeks ago. By the time the main event kicks off, the live audience- and social media - were humming.

Massive Gaines, Jackson Good, Roberto Samba vs Yurashk Bratva

The Bratva were represented by two vicious cruiserweight brawlers – Icepick and Concrete Charlie- and a great big bastard that that announcers call Tony the Tank. The match is fast paced and full of coordinated tag team moves. It’s clear that Charlie has an easy chemistry with both Icepick and Mr Tank. Szandor almost gets his team the win by delivering a knee to the kidney of Samba when the ref wasn’t looking. But Samba reversed a powerbomb attempt by Tony and turned it into a Triangle Choke for the win.

But seconds after the bell sounds, Monstro charges the ring and drives the XPW Title belt into the face of Samba, then Gaines, then Good. As XPW’s inaugural broadcast goes off the air, Monstro stands tall with the belt!

[elchicano]

February 2020 Week 2, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

**Our show opens with cameras in the backstage parking area. I stretch limousine pulls up to the valet stand. Fans boo as XPW LiveStream Champion Richie B, Avarice, and Eliza – The Billionaire Boy Band – step out of the limo and begin heading into the arena.

All hell breaks loose when a tattooed figure comes flying through the air, bounces off the hood of the limo, then crashes into the valet stand and sokatters particle board and velvet ropes everywhere. Eliza is outraged when she also ends up on the ground, ass over tea kettle as it were.

“HOLY S***….that was AMAZING ScuzzyPants! You little Gremlin! We are going to break the internet this time!”

The Orlando crowd pops when BoobTube celebrity Buddy Danger comes bounding into the picture. They pop again when it becomes apparent that the human missile peeling himself off the ground is Steve ‘Scuzzbucket’ Ballzy. These two – along with their other miscreant friends – are the stars and owners of the wildly successful BoobTube channel “Da NumbBkullZ” and their weekly stunt/practical joke/disgusting food challenge show ‘Shenanigans’ generates millions of hits per week. Their episode ‘Nipple Golf’ drew more viewers than last year’s World Series Game 1.

Danger peels Scuzz off the ground and the two scamper off. Meanwhile, Avarice and Rich lift an incensed Eliza back onto her stylishly appointed feet. As the BBB heads inside, we cut to the video intro and greeted by our announce team: Jessica ‘Princess’ Starbright, Romeo of the HotSteppaz, and Wrestle World Hall-of-Famer – wearing a tuxedo, flip flops, and his famous green mask – The Piranha.

As the team begins to announce that evening’s line up, Buddy Danger comes from behind the curtain, pushing a shopping cart in front of him. The cart is not empty. Scuzzbucket, wearing what appears to be a child’s football helmet and shoulder pads, sits inside. He has multiple firecrackers duct-taped to his back. Besides our passenger, it also looks like Danger has filled the cart with a stupid amount of ready-to-engage mousetraps. After taking a running start, Danger sends his friend (?) hurtling down the ramp. The explosive go off, the cart smashes into the guardrail, and mouse traps a plenty go off.

Starbright: Tonight’s pyro almost feels redundant. Welcome to Friday Night Fight Club! Folks…let’s go to the ring.

Lord Evermore vs Scuzzbucket

Early on, Evermore has a hard time dealing with Scuzz’s unorthodox approach of simply throwing himself around the ring without any regard to his own safety. Eventually, The Lord of the Northwood manages to take control and go on the offensive. He looks to have the match won when Buddy Danger distracts the referee by lighting his own crotch on fire.

Starbright: These two really are morons.

Piranha: I used that exact same move against Enormous Pierre back in ’81.

SB: You lit him on fire?

P: Light HIM on fire…? Huh….I never thought of…You know that might have worked better.

The distraction allows Scuzz to come jumping off the top rope. Evermore spins just in time, leaps, and delivers the Oathbreaker (RKO) for the win.

Romeo: OUT OF NOWHERE!

**As fans cheer, cameras cut to the back where Roberto Samba and The New G’s are hanging out and generally goofing around. The Yurashk Bratva come rushing into the scene and use the damn numbers game to beat the babyfaces down. Alexei Monstro seems to take extra pleasure in suplexing Samba all over the backstage area.

After the beating, Szandor LaVey grabs a mic:

“Congratulations…because of your success elsewhere…the board of directors has decided that you two will be in the first ever XPW Tag Title Match at Valentine’s Day Massacre. If you can make it. You…Samba…you are basically useless.”

Monstro punctuates that sentence by drilling Samba with a chair.

SB: OH NO!

P: I know that hurts…

Heaven 2 Hell (Diablo & Seraph) vs Necromancy (Grimcraft & Zed)

Back from the break, and the high flying luchadors of H2H are having a fairly easy time with Grimcraft, but can’t seem to get the behemoth Zed off his feet.

SB: When faced with a much larger opponent, how did you have to change your strategy? What worked?

P: I would usually stab them in the eye with a fork.

SB: …

Eventually Seraph and Diablo are able to double Wizard Kick Zed over the top rope and then score the pin on Grimcraft after a Devil’s Dive.

**Backstage, Chester Blood and Gunslinger are being pulled apart by security. ‘Slinger seems furious after last week’s attack. Blood just demands a rematch. Gunslinger agrees and the rematch is set for next week.

LiveStream Championship

Richie B (c) (w/Avarice and Eliza) vs Bayonet

The LiveStream championship match – which is a promotion where the champion does a first person POV stream of his match that gets simulcast on the XPW Tweeter feed – is our main event for the evening. Richie B is a perfect heel, playing up his chiseled good looks and physique by allowing female fans to rub baby oil on his chest as he walks to the ring. Bayonet plays the scrappy masked face well, scoring a couple of near falls. But Richie is clearly a huge star in the making. Eliza breaks a pin attempt with a well time flirtation and Richie scores the win with the Trust Fund Baby (Perfect Plex).

Romeo: I gotta say…this Richie guy reminds me of me.

SB: Hasn’t he won like 200% more matches than you ever did…?

P: HAR! HAR! HAR!

The Billionaire Boy Band plays to the crowd as XPW Friday Night Fight Club goes off the air.

[elchicano]

February 2020 Week 3, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

Backstage, Rod Codger is walking the hallways, frantically speaking on the cell phone. We can catch snippets of the conversation as the cameras follow him around corners:

“Listen…Blaine…yes..we did need the money….and we don’t get the revenue from FightNet without Monstro …but you never told me they’d be here every week. And that Alexei wanted us to hand him the title. And these representatives they sent. Every time I talk to them, they look at me like a butcher looking at a side of bacon….”

The conversation trails off suddenly when Codger turns the corner and walks almost directly into Szandor LaVey, Alexei Monstro, and the Yurashk Bratva. A terrified Codger begins to backpedal and stammer. LaVey simply laughs and leads his men to the ring before Rod can choke out an apology.

“Out of my vey, little piggy, we have business to attend to..”

Tony the Tank gives an especially obnoxious laugh and make a series of oinks as the Bratva head to the ring and our video intro plays. We are greeted once again by our announce team: ‘Princess’ Starbright, Romeo of the HotSteppaz, and Earl’s House of Fish Balls (and Wrestle World) Hall-of-Famer The Piranha.

**Starbright informs the audience that tonight’s opening match will be a tag team bout where the winning team will face off against The New G’s at Valentine’s Day Massacre for the right to be named XPW’s first Tag Team Champions. The first team – Icepick and Concrete Charlie – are already standing in the ring. Their opponents, Heaven 2 Hell, are headed out to the ring when Szandor grabs a mic in order to offer ‘a uneeeeque opportunity’.

“You two…everyone know that you are two of the greatest high-flyers in all the world. Yes? Well I am giving you a choice. You can come down here now and take a chance against my HatchetMen. Maybe you win? And if you do…you face those two buffoons Good and Gaines. OR…you can leave now and at Valentine Day Massacre you will be given the chance to compete for the XPW Cruiserweight championship…AGAINST EACH OTHER!”

Diable and Seraph stop and look at each other. They seem intrigued, but wary.

Starbright: This is despicable. He knows his guys can’t beat these two. So he’s bribing them to back out of this match.

Romeo: Despicable? It’s the chance of a lifetime. These two have wrestled each other all over the civilized world, and Mexico. What’s one more match? And it’s a guaranteed title shot…

Seraph and Diablo look at each other one more time. The fans don’t agree, but the masked luchadores decide to shake hands and agree to a title match against each other and then walk back up the ramp. Szandor seems pleased. Out of the spirit of fairness, he agrees to have his men face ‘anyone in back’ for the right to face The New G’s at Valentine’s Day Massacre. The open challenge is promptly answered.

The Hatchet Men (Icepick and Concrete Charlie) vs Necromancy (Grimcraft and Zed)

Early on, it looks like Szandor’s men will make easy work of their gruesome opponents. But they have a difficult time putting Zed away and Grimcraft eventually begins firing up and uses his unorthodox offense to take control of the match. Interference by Szandor seems to turn the tide again. The Hatchet Men go the One Way Ride (Magic Killer) but Grimcraft manages to roll out of the ring before he can get pinned. Zed charges back in, sends Charlie flying, and then connects with Pound of Flesh (Black Hole Slam) for the – truly stunning – victory.

SB: Fans are going crazy for this upset…and Szandor LaVey looks none too happy that his plan to get his men into the tag title match has blown up in his face..!

** A video is shown: An almost pitch black room. The sound of a crowd chanting one name over and over begins to play – HEARSE. HEARSE. HEARSE. As the volume increases, a figure steps forward methodically. Step after step, this vicious looking man-baby gets closer and closer to the camera as the chanting increases. HEARSE.HEARSE. HEARSE. Finally, we get a close up look at the maniacal eyes and yellowed and misshapen smile of …JAKOB HEARSE. The tag line plays as we go back to the ring.

HEARSE IS COMING

Lady Winter (w/Lord Evermore) vs Keziah

Lady Winter looks very impressive in her debut match. Keziah is deranged brawler who tries to overwhelm her opponents with quick offense, but Winter uses her athleticism to counter the early rush and delivers a huge spin kick out of the counter to stop a Keziah spear-attempt. Winter then delivers Frostbite (Widow’s Peak) for the win.

Post match, Keziah again tries to assault Winter. The two ladies brawl up the ramp, which brings out Lord Evermore to assist his fellow Northwood Clan member and Chester Blood to assist his fellow blood thirsty maniac (?). The two couples brawl until they are separated by XPW security.

Bayonet vs Jolly Foo

The Jolly one takes his time getting to the ring, dancing and prancing and generally getting the crowd on its’ feet with his antics and charisma. Once the match starts, Bayonet - as has become his habit - puts on a dazzling display of aerial moves but can’t seem to finish his opponent off. Bayonet climbs to the tope rope when Foo runs over and yanks his tights down around his legs, revealing a skimpy set of briefs.

SB: Finally..,…some decent eye candy.

Romeo: Excuse me?

Piranha: Is there something printed across the back?

SB: It says Brexit Only.

P: HAR! HAR! HAR!

Stumbling around the ring, Bayonet is easy pickings. JOLLY STYLE! 1..2..3!

**Backstage, Alexei Monstro brags to Rod Codger about his athletic feats, his many (MANY) past victories, and how easy it will be to defend his XPW Title at Valentine’s Day Massacre. Codger asks him how he can be certain when he doesn’t know the challenger.

“It matters not. No one on this roster has the ability to challenge…MONSTRO!”

As he finishes the promo, Monstro also takes the time to introduce the newest member of the Yurasjk Bratva, the genetically perfect Soviet Super Soldier….Siberia.

“From now on, Siberia will accompany me. She will make sure that each of my matches is properly adjudicated. And if anyone steps out of line…the Russian Sickle awaits!”



Gunslinger vs Chester Blood

In our main event, these two again deliver a thrilling match. After 15 minutes, the crowd is rocking and neither man seems to have an upper hand. Bayonet rushes to ringside to assist Blood, but Gunslinger catches the masked Brit with REDEMPTION to cut him off. The opening allows Blood to sneak up and hit the Bloodline (Bitter End) for the 1…2..Noooo!

SB: Close call! Gunslinger will have to dig deep here …

Blood hits a stalling brainbuster for another near fall. With ‘Slinger staggering, Blood locks in the Night Breed sleeper hold. The referee lifts the hand of Dystopia’s Favorite Son once…twice…but Gunslinger hangs on at the third check. The fans are on their feet as Gunslinger fights his way out. Blood is on shaky legs now when ‘Slinger delivers a REDEMPTION that nearly sends Blood spilling out of the ring. Gunslinger drags Blood back in. Dystopia Driver! And then another REDEMPTION for the win.

As the fans show their appreciation, Rod Codger walks out to the ramp.

“Fans…what you’ve just seen is the kind of athletes and action that XPW is built on. “

The crowd shows their approval: “X-P-DUB! X-P-DUB!X=P-DUB!”

Codger continues: “That is why at our first major event – Valentine’s Day Massacre – I am happy to announce that Alexei Monstro will defend his XPW Title against tonight’s winner…GUNSLINGER!”

The crowd roars in enthusiastic approval as we fade to black.

[elchicano]

Wrestling Viewer

February 23, 2020

This past weekend, BoobTube and FightNet simulcast the English language broadcast of the LLL (Liga de Lucha Libre) supershow: Guerreros Del Mundo 2020. For fans of the newly launched XPW, the show had a few matches of interest.

**Diablo and Magnifico Jr (who appears in XPW as Seraph) successfully defended the LLL Tag Titles against The Specialists (Zeta Quade and Jin Kinji) and Wild Things (Komodo and Kongo Kid w/Monkey Cat)

**El Patron Jr, Hijo Del Presidente, and Power Star defeated Haruki Enyu, Jolly Foo, and Grand Manga

** In the co-main event, Alexei Monstro (accompanied by Siberia and well known LLL heel manager El Cholo) successfully defended the XPW Title against Loco Payaso III

[elchicano]

February 2020 Week 4, Valentine’s Day Massacre

Orlando, FL

In celebration of the company’s first major event – shown live on TV and simulcast across all devices on the FightNet app – Valentine’s Day Massacre, the show opens with a theatrical performance by Champagne Mafia, the techno pop/prog rock sensation that has been getting huge play amongst teens and young adults. The surge in popularity is due in no small part to their intensely attractive lead singer, Pink Champagne. Seen live, this pink haired vixen comes off as a combination of B-Boy street performer and Japanese Mecha Anime. The performance is a huge hit, and as the last notes of their song “Cowards + Crosses” fade away, Lord and Lady Evermore come walking through the man-made fog and head to the ring.

“My name is Jessica Starbright. This is Romeo. This fish-faced maniac is The Piranha. Tonight is our Valentine’s Day Massacre. Welcome…. to…X-P-W!”

Northwood Clan (Lord Evermore and Lacy Winter) vs Chester Blood & Keziah (w/Bayonet)

The mixed match is a great opener. There is a ton of fast paced action and crisp double team moves. Even though the male and female performers are restricted to fighting their own gender, we get a couple nice pops when Winters gets tossed onto Blood and hit a tornado DDT and then follows that up with a flying dropkick onto Bayonet standing on the outside floor. Eventually Evermore, drills Blood with an Oathbreaker in mid-air to get the pin-fall.

After the match, Bayonet attempts to rush the ring and exact some measure of revenge. He is stopped cold in his track when the newest member of the Northwood Clan – Claymore the Brave - comes flying out of the crowd spinning a wooden bo staff over his head. Bayonet and Blood scatter immediately and the Northwood Clan stands tall as we go to our next segment.

**

Backstage, Rod Rodgers interviews current XPW (and pWn, and L.A.W. and DIVA) Women’s champion, Mother Mercy. Codgers talks about what an honor it is for XPW to have Mercy working for the company. Since she left Wrestle World nearly three years ago, she’s been travelling the globe, winning titles, and generally being a total bad-a**. Mercy was also one of the first openly gay performers in Wrestle World history, which made her extremely newsworthy. Her talent and mainstream notoriety meant that she was one of Codger’s biggest ‘gets’ when she signed.

Mercy seems pleased by the compliments, but the conversation is interrupted when Candy Cotton wanders into the interview area. She loudly complains that Mercy is a ‘part-timer’ who hasn’t been around since winning a Battle Royal for the Women’s Title weeks ago: “Big girls like you usually aren’t so hard to find…”

The insult quickly results in an ugly brawl and both women have to be restrained by security before we go back to the ring.

XPW TAG TEAM TITLE

The New G’s (Jackson Good & Massive Gaines) vs Necromancy (Grimcraft and Zed)

Good and Gaines cavort to the ring, playing to the live audience and taking selfies with the fans at ringside. In contrast, Zed and Grim skulk to the ring and generally play up their ‘creepy Ghoul’ vibe.

Starbright: Necromancy have to be seen as the underdogs here.

Romeo: Do not underestimate them, Princess. The New G’s are gifted athletes. But these two freaks do what freaks do best…

Piranha: THEY FIGHT DIRTY!

And that’s exactly what happens. Zed and Grim turn the match into a street fight, using dirty tactics and repeatedly throwing their opponents out of the ring in order to use the tables, chairs, and production equipment to batter The New G’s. They eventually cut Jackson off from his partner and slow the match waaaay down, nearly scoring the win via submission when Grimcraft locks in the Killing Kurse.

SB: Jackson fights his way out. BIG DDT on Grimcraft…Zed steps in the ring to cut him off…

R: Good tag team strategy there…

SB: But Jackson is able to slide between his legs and tag in Gaines!

Massive Gaines gets the hot tag and absolutely lights up the big zombie with a running lariat. Grimcraft tries to join the fray again and Jackson jumps in. All four men battle and the crowd begins to rock. Jackson is finally able to send Grim tumbling over the top rope which creates an opening for a huge double team move: Gaines lifts Zed into a powerbomb. As he is driving him to the mat, Jackson jumps in and delivers a one-legged lung blower…

SB: They call that the Soul Train!

..for the win and the tag team titles.

**Another video promo plays hyping up the debut of JAKOB HEARSE. HEARSE. IS. COMING.

**Back to the ring, where Jolly Foo is entertaining the fans with some good old fashioned slapstick humor about farts and wedgies and also falling down on his face. Hilarious.

Eventually, the Yurashk Bratva come out and warn The Jolly One that his shenanigans don’t fit in with the vision of the investors they represent. Jolly delivers a thoughtful and reasoned response.

SB: He pulled his tights down to reveal a thong and now…he’s scooting around on his butt!!??!

P: Memphis Prince used to call that the Skidmark Express!

In response, Szandor LaVey sends his giant henchman Tony the Tank down to the ring and tells the timekeeper to ring the bell.

Jolly Foo vs Tony the Tank (and the Yurashk Bratva)

This impromptu challenge ends – not surprisingly – quickly. Mr. the Tank deliversa series of devastating clotheslines in the turnbuckle before driving Foo through the mat with a spinning power-bomb he has dubbed Time to Pay Up. After the match, Tony the Tank power-bombs Jolly Foo over the top rope and onto the floor outside the ring. Medics rush down to scrape Foo off the ground like a bug, as the segment ends.

**Backstage, The Billionaire Boy Band stands with Rod Codger. Richie B brags about being ‘the longest reigning champion in XPW history.” Which is both ridiculous and factually correct. After a few minutes of getting heat by talking about his good looks and surgically enhanced girlfriend and bloated bank account, Richie directs the crowd to look at the tablet being held by Avarice.

When the camera zooms in, it looks like Buddy Danger and Scuzzbucket are just about to kick off their latest episode of ‘Shenanigans’: Scuzz and series regular, Dicky No-Neck, are both dressed as bears in the parking lot of a local circus. The cast appears about ready to scare the crowd by simulating some sort of animal escape, when local law enforcement charges the scene and starts to arrest both the actors and their cast and crew.

Buddy begins to insist that he has ‘all the necessary permits’ when the office in charge of the arrests declares that this is related to ‘property damage perpetrated on a luxury vehicle in Orlando.’

SB: They’re being arrested for smashing into the hood of Richie B’s limo…

R: GOOD! Finally…justice…what does it take for the rich and famous to get treated with some level of fairness in this country?

As “Da NumbBkullZ” get led away in handcuffs, the feed switches back to the interview area, where Richie B, Avarice, and Eliza are laughing loudly. Rod Codger demands answers: “Did you do this?”

Avarice responds. “Nobody embarrasses us. Nobody embarrasses Eliza. I don’t care how many followers those idiots have.” Richie B continues. “It’s going to be a while before Shenanigans comes back to the XPW. I guess for now, Rod, you have to..”

Richie and Avarice perform a choreographed spin and fist pump.

..say Bye, Bye, Bye.”

XPW Cruiserweight Title

El Diablo vs Seraph

These two young men have been wrestling with and against each other since they were in their teens, both members of famous Lucha families. With that much time spent in the ring together, you would expect a certain level of chemistry and an ease of coordination. And you would not be disappointed.

After 15 minutes, and a series of dives over the ropes and around the ringside are, the fans are on their feet chanting ‘THIS.IS.AWE-SOME *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap*.’ Seraph nearly gets the three-count after he runs the top rope and delivers a huracanran. But Diablo manages to roll backwards and get to his feet, delivering a twisting power-bomb and then climbs to the top rope and hits the Devil’s Dive (plunging Canadian Destroyer) for the three count!

After the match, Diablo shows his respect by leading the Orlando crowd in an ovation for his partner/opponent, Seraph.

XPW Heavyweight Title

Alexei Monstro (w/The Yurashk Bratva) vs The Gunslinger

The last match delivered the fast pace and high spots that that wrestling fans like. This match delivered the drama and physicality that wrestling fans remember for years to come. ‘Slinger nearly had the match won early on multiple occasions, with Szandor having to interfere and distract the referee to break up the pin attempts. Fed up and frustrated, Gunslinger ended up grabbing LaVey by his hair and sent him flying into the front row seats. The crowd cheered in response, but the resulting chaos allowed Monstro to take control.

SB: The referee is trying to get the ringside area cleared. Gunslinger is trying to get back in the ring. Here comes Monstro…OH no! He has the ring bell…

P: If someone hits you in the head with a giant piece of solid metal …that hurts.

Gunslinger is staggered. He is in survival mode for the next few minutes. Monstro delivers a series of suplexes. Gunslinger kicks out. Monstro locks in a crossface. Gunslinger nearly submits, then manages to roll back to go for a three-count, which forces a release. Monstro hits the Russian Interference (Uranage) for another heart stopping nearfall.

SB: Gunslinger’s foot is on the bottom rope. That’s the only reason this match isn’t over.

Monstro grabs Gunslinger and props him on the top turnbuckle. He tries to lock in a muscle-buster, but ‘Slinger fights back, staggers Monstro with an uppercut, then dives off the top and hits a cross body. Monstro falls back, rolls through, and gets back to his feet still holding onto Gunslinger.

R: Brilliant counter…RUSSIAN INTERFERENCE!

SB: 1..2…NOOOO!!!

Visibly frustrated, Monstro tosses Gunslinger into the corner, and ‘Slinger comes charging out in desperation and drills the XPW Champion with REDEMPTION! Both men are down. The crowd uses rhythmic chanting to let us know things are awesome. ‘Slinger slides over, but the delay is enough for Monstro to kick out. Szandor is back to his feet and tries to get to his cohort, but the referee blocks his path. With our referee again distracted, Monstro pulls something out of his trunk.

SB: What the hell is that?

R: What is what, Princess? You need your eyes checked.

P: I can say with almost 100% certainty, it is NOT a fork.

Regardless of what it is, it is effective. Monstro uses his loaded fist to deliver a staggering blow to the throat of Gunslinger. And then again…Russian Interference. 1..2…3.

The crowd does not love the outcome, but they are on their feet for the effort. The Yurashk Bratva join Monstro in the ring in celebration as we fade to black.

[Exotic Rick]

Holy shit this was gonna be my legitimate same idea with the same company and all once I got all the cards (which I do) and finished my first 20 years so everyone I want to start with a new gimmick has one

Definitely will follow this

[elchicano]

March 2020 Week 1, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

The show opens with our usual video and pyro introduction. Jessica ‘Princess’ Starbright, Romeo of the HotSteppaz, and The Piranha give an enthusiastic welcome to the fans tuning in after XPW’s first (and rather successful) simulcast super card.

Starbright: I’d love to run down tonight’s card for you fans, but first we have a major announcement from our acting CFO, Rod Codger.

Backstage, Codger is sitting at a desk. He begins to address the crowd. He lets them know that he – like them – is a longtime wrestling fan. Not sports entertainment. Not just someone working here to launch their reality TV show. His heart is in wrestling.

That’s why this time of year makes him sad. He remembers back when March Madness was a big deal. He remembers when Wrestle World treated it like a truly prestigious event. But after years of corny gimmicks, matches that end after 10 seconds with a roll up, and tournament winners being treated with disrespect, the fans stopped caring. He wants to change that.

This year, XPW will kick off March with a tournament featuring their own wrestlers and international stars competing against one another. The winner will be guaranteed a shot at the XPW Heavyweight Title at the next major super show, to go along with a $25,000 bonus.

“So allow me to start the show with a qualifying match. The winner will move on to our finale show at the end of the month. The first ever…XPW CODGER CUP….begins….noooow!”

CODGER CUP – ROUND 1

Claymore the Brave vs Zed (w/Grimcraft)

With almost a foot in height and over 100 lbs in weight separating the two, the difference in size told a clear David v Goliath story. Zed showed power and resilience. That was countered by the quickness and sudden violence of Claymore’s strikes and top-rope creativity. As the tide turned against Zed, Grimcraft tried interfering and ended up eating a vicious head-butt for his trouble. Zed used the distraction to try to grab Claymore, but the newest Northwood Clan member spun and delivered a rapid series of elbow and fist strikes that dropped Zed to the mat and ended with a three count.

**Backstage again, and the audience sees Robert Samba arriving to the arena. Almost a month ago, Samba was assaulted by Alexei Monstro and the Yurashk Bratva. Samba walks around backstage, looking very determined and like he might revenge on his mind.

Candy Cotton vs Magdalena

Back in the ring, the unorthodox Candy Cotton puts on another great match with the super athletic Magdalena. Cairo’s Favorite Female gets the crowd behind her with her aerial offense, but can’t finish Cotton off. Eventually Candy is able to slow down Magdalena’s momentum by biting her hard near the eye, distracting the referee, and finally delivering a vicious low blow.

Starbright: OH! You know that had to hurt.

Romeo: C’mon Princess…there’s no way you even understand what it’s like when a man takes one in between the legs.

Piranha: He might be right Princess. It’s bad. I know. I’ve taken a large amount of groin-related damage in my day. Hot glue. Staple Guns. Kendo Sticks. Roombas wrapped in barbed wire. My junk has taken a beating.

SB: That’s awful!

P: Now it’s not so bad. I’ve taken so many beatings down there it’s basically one giant callus.

R: Would you shut up, you green freak. You’re making me nauseous.

Despite the announcers’ debate, the move is very effective and Cotton is able to lock in the Beautiful Disaster for the submission win.

**A video announcement play, letting the fans know that Haruki Enyu – rising Japanese star and current indie darling in the US – will be one of the international stars participating in the The Codger Cup Tournament show at the end of the month.

Rod Codger appears again. He is very happy to use this next Codger Cup Qualifier to announce the debut of XPW’s latest signings…Komodo, Kongo Kid, their pet monkey Mandrill….The Wild Things!

CODGER CUP – ROUND 1

Seraph (w/Diablo) vs Komodo (w/Kongo Kid and Mandrill the Monkey)

With the difference in size, this match seemingly has a similar dynamic to the first Codger Cup match. But the difference in agility between the Komodo and Zed becomes evident early on when Seraph goes for a flying leg scissors, and Komodo simply flips forward and lands on his feet. He is an amazing athlete for a man of his size and it shows throughout the match. Seraph puts on his usual type of performance and the crowd is rocking as both competitors exchange springboard moves to the outside: Seraph goes for a moonsault to the outside but Komodo catches him and drops him on the concrete. He rolls in and climbs to the top rope to deliver his own dive, but is intercepted when Diablo drop kicks him in mid-air. With Komodo staggered, and Seraph down, and Kongo trying to help his partner up, Diablo then delivers a Coffin Drop from the top to the outside on all three men.

SB: These fans are eating this up.

R: Wait a second..what is that???

Mandrill the pet Monky seems to bide his time, notices that everyone is down, climbs to the top turnbuckle, then does his own dive onto the pile of wrestlers!!!

SB: That can’t be legal.

P: Who knows? This IS Florida.

As the referee clears the ring and sends partners packing to the backstage area, Komodo catches Seraph with the Vibora Driver for the win to advance to the next round.

LiveStream Championship

Richie B (c) (w/Avarice and Eliza) vs Massive Gaines (w/Jackson Good and Roberto Samba)

With the crowd still seemingly spent from the last match, these two young stars got off to a very slow start. Richie uses interference from both of his ‘band members’ to control the momentum and keep the incredible power Gaines down. He can’t – however – put the larger man away and Gaines gets a huge pop when he is able to kick out of the Trust Fund Baby.

The kick out is what gets the crowd back into things. Gaines is able to fight back and feed into their energy, playing off the crowd and hitting a series of big impact moves, finally sending Richie flying backwards with a brutal blindside shoulder tackle. This time, with Richie struggling to get to his feet, Avarice makes his interference blatant, catching Gaines with an enzuigiri and drawing an immediate disqualification.

Afterwards, the brawl between The New G’s and Billionaire Boy Band continues around the ringside area. Samba is about to get involved when Alexei Monstro wanders out to the top of the entrance ramp and dares Samba to run at him. Monstro and Samba are fighting in the aisle and into the crowd as security tries to stop the fighting in the ring.

With the wrestlers finally under control, Richie B grabs a mic to deliver this parting shot before our show ends:

“Gaines…Jackson….you two don’t get it. You people …your kind…you will never be as good as people like me!!”

[elchicano]

March 2020 Week 2, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

As our announce team – ‘Princess’ Starbright, Romeo, and Pro Wrestling Legend The Piranha - welcomes the viewing audience to the latest episode of FNFC, they get cut off by the appearance of a classical string quartet and drum section walking/wheeling out to the top of the ramp. Without introduction, they begin to a deep melody that rises dramatically, and then rolls into the anthem-like theme music for The Northwood Clan! Lord Evermore, Lady Winter, and Claymore walk out to a huge ovation.

Starbright: Now THAT is an entrance…this opening match is a Codger Cup Qualifier.

CODGER CUP – ROUND 1

Lord Evermore (w/Winter & Claymore) vs. Professor When

Early on, Evermore used his superior strength and speed to deliver devastating high impact moves on When, but he was not able to finish the Professor off. Eventually, Professor When begins to slow the pace and ground Evermore with his catch-as-catch-can wrestling style, using submission holds and counter-holds. For several minutes, When came shockingly close to tapping Evermore out. Professor When tries to finish the match off with a back suplex off the tope rope, but Evermore floats through the move and catches Profess When with an Oathbreaker…

Starbright: OUT OF NOWHERE!!!

…for the win to advance to the next round.

**Backstage, Rod Codger approaches the Lonesome Stranger himself, The Gunslinger. Codger let’s ‘Slinger know that – due to the interference at Valentine’s Day Massacre – the governing board has decided to allow The Gunslinger to automatically advance to the next round.

Codger: What do you think of the good news?

Gunslinger growls a reply: “Good news? That ain’t no good news. That’s nothin’ but a spoonful of honey after I alreadt drank a slopbucket full of pig-sh*T!”

The crowd pops and eats it up as Gunslinger explains that, under normal circumstances, ‘vengeance is an idiot’s game,’ but in this case he would never stop until he gets payback on Alexei Monstro and the rest of the Yurashk Bratva. They had picked the wrong man to mess with.

“Ain’t no secret…I didn’t get these scars from fallin’ over in church. In my life, I have become very comfortable with danger.”

Gunslinger lets it be known that his end goal is to win The Codger Cup, cash in the title shot, and then defeat Alexei Monstro next month at XPW Unlimited.

The Hatchet Men (Icepick and Concrete Charlie) vs Chester Blood and Bayonet

Back from the break, our announcers let us know that they will be getting ANOTHER #1 Contender match at the behest of Szandor LaVey. This time they face the agility and speed and mat wrestling skills of the Blood and Bayonet.

Early on, the expert brawling and crisp teamwork of Icepick and Charlie keeps Blood on his heels. They nearly get the win with a double lung blower, but Blood kicks out at the last second. He eventually avoids a top rope dive and makes a hot tag to Bayonet. The British Bombardier takes advantage of the momentum change to blitz Icepick and Charlie with a series of fast paced moves. Bayonet hits a twirling DDT for a near-fall, which turns into a four-man brawl. The chaos gives Icepick a chance to grab his weapon of choice and smash Bayonet in the bag of the head with the handle, sending Bayonet crumpling to the floor. The referee clears Blood out and this allows The Hatchet Men to hit the One Way Ride (Magic Killer) for the win.

**Back from the commercial break, the camera go to the locker room area of the Yurashk Bratva. The full contingent – LaVey, Monstro, the genetically perfect Siberia, Tony the Tank is standing and celebrating with Icepick and Concrete Charlie in anticipation of their XPW Tag Title match at The Codger Cup Finale show. After engaging in some hilarious gloating, and popping champagne bottle, and then watching Tony devour an entire jar of pickled herring, the Bratva are in the highest of spirits.

Piranha: I would bite your whole face off for one of those herrings, Romeo.

Romeo: …

Piranha: I’m saying…I wouldn’t just bite your face off for no good reason. I’d need some incentive. Like a pickled herring.

Romeo: …

Piranha: Because I like you.

Romeo: Thanks?

The door bursts open. Roberto Samba walks in surrounded by The New G’s. The party comes to a screaming halt as Samba walks up to challenge Monstro to a match at The Codger Cup Finale. LaVey tries to get between the two men and begins to order the Bratva to physically remove Samba and his cohorts, but Monstro cuts him off. Monstro – the true competitor that he is – steps up to the challenge:

Monstro: Let the little man speak. He wants – how do you say – get all in my face? That is good. But this is no game. Your friends can not help you by – what is – making pancakes. This is serious business for grown up man. Yes?

Roberto Samba: Yes.

Monstro: Then I accept. You and I. In two weeks. You are good in MMA. I am better. I will show you. Submission Only Match. Yes?

Samba: Hell. Yes.

Fans cheer the announcement as we go to break.

XPW WOMEN’S TITLE

Mother Mercy (c) vs Candy Cotton

After their recent verbal sparring, it is no surprise that this match starts hot, with both women attacking each other quickly and viciously. Mercy delivers some haymakers and Cotton responds but jumping on Mercy’s back and biting and scratching her like some maniacal alley cat.

Starbright: No love lost between these two ladies…

Romeo: These are no ladies.

Piranha: No, they aren’t. And I LOVE IT!

The match never slows down and Cotton is eventually able to catch Mercy flush with a devastating Yakuza Kick. Mercy is staggered and Candy is able to lock in the Beautiful Disaster. The fans think it’s over; no one in XPW has broken this hold. Mercy drops to one knee, dips her head as if she’s passing out, and then staggers back to her feet (!). She is able to use her strength to hop up and spring backwards off the middle turnbuckle, crushing Candy Cotton beneath her. Both women stagger to their feet. Candy charges at Mother Mercy, but Mercy catches Cotton and tosses her up in the air and then delivers a huge spinebuster! Cotton looks virtually beaten. Mercy peels her off the ground and delivers a lay-out Tiger Bomb – she calls it No Mercy – for the win.

As the fans stand to show their appreciation, Jessica Starbright finishes the broadcast with one last announcement:

Starbright: Next week’s main event has been decided by Rod Codger. Roberto Samba – and a partner of his choosing – will face off against Alexei Monstro and a partner of his choosing. With just one catch…Alexei will not allowed to choose any other member of the Yurashk Bratva!

Romeo: That is completely uncalled for!

Starbright: Maybe. But Rod is still in charge. See you fans next week!

[elchicano]

March 2020 Week 3, Friday Night Fight Club

Orlando, FL

A video is shown before the show begins: A crowd chants one name over and over. HEARSE. HEARSE. HEARSE. A lone, brawny figure stands inside in the middle of the ring, inside a darkened arena. The chants continue. HEARSE.HEARSE. HEARSE. The camera zooms in and we get another close up look at the intimidating and crooked smile of JAKOB HEARSE.

HEARSE. IS. COMING.



Back to the show, and FNFC begins inside the executive offices of Rod Codger. Codger is engaged in a loud and angry conversation with Szando LaVey. Alexei Monstro and the genetically superior Siberia stand silently in the background.

Szandor: You have no right to decide why Alexie can choose as his partner. That is a clear breach of the ‘competitive advantage’ clause of his contract.

Codger: I’m not telling him who he CAN pick. I’m only telling him who he CAN’T pick. There are many world class athletes on our roster, Szanny my friend…

S: Szandor. Or Mr. LaVey. Do not call me Szandor.

C: Of course. The point is: he has options. And several of the options have better win-loss records than your own men. I mean…your Hatchet Men only won last week thanks to their use of an illegal object. Thanks for that, by the way. I was only able to get Blood and Bayonet off my back by giving them the last two slots in the Codger Cup.

There’s a knock at the door. After a moment, Richie B and Eliza walk in the door.

C: See now…Richie B was one of the first volunteers to team with you..

Richie B: It’s time that ya’ boy Richie was in the limelight, standing toe to toe with the heaviest hitters in the business. Your brand is about to go through the roof, MON-Star. Through the roof!

Richie B sidles up to Monstro and poses for a group selfie that includes Richie, Monstro, a camera thirsty Eliza and a surprisingly enthusiastic Siberia. Szandor attempts to fit himself into frame. Richie stops him.

R: Sorry, Szanny. I know you're the boss. But my insta has pretty high standards. No uggos.

Despite the awkward rebuke, Szandor agrees to the pairing for the main event later tonight.

Lady Winter (w/Lord Evermore) vs Rhiannon

This was another outstanding showing for Rhiannon; she showed toughness and athleticism and came close to scoring the upset with a series of high impact moves. With Winter staggered, Rhiannon went for a cross body off the top rope. Winter was able to roll backwards through that move and get to her feet - still holding onto Rhiannon – and then transition into scorpion leg lock for the surprising submission win.

**Backstage, an intense Roberto Samba walks through the locker room area. He is stopped by a –far-more-serious-than-usual Massive Gaines. Two weeks ago, Gaines got into a heated exchange with Richie B and there are still clearly some hard feelings. Gaines is eager to volunteer to team with Samba tonight. And Samba is more than happy to accept.

**Rod Codger appears again backstage: he promised that the Codger Cup would feature some of the best wrestling from around the world, and he plans to deliver. He announces that up and coming Japan First Wrestling (J1W) star Haruki Enyu would be participating in the Codger Cup. The crowd – a packed house of mostly wrestling nerds – popped for the announcement.

XPW Cruiserweight Title

El Diablo (c) w/ Seraph vs Kongo Kid w/Komodo

Starbright: In addition to the Cruiserweight Title, the winner of this match will receive entry to the next round of The Codger Cup.

Both men had their partners at ringside, and both partners got involved in the match. Komodo stopped Diablo’s early offense cold by snatching him out of mid-air and delivering a power slam on the outside floor. But Seraph helped deliver a double super kick when the referee was occupied, which allowed Diablo to re-gain control. Just like the earlier match between Seraph and Komodo, this was chaos.

Romeo: The referee has lost control. Again.

Piranha: What do you mean? No one is even bleeding.

Komodo again tries to interfere, but he eats a vicious knee from Seraph. Komodo tries to retaliate with a big boot, but Seraph ducks and Komodo ends up kicking Kongo Kid in the back of the head. Kid is staggered. Diablo follows up with a huracanrana roll-up for the pin.

**A graphic is shown, hyping the final line-up for next week’s inaugural Codger Cup Show.

Lord Evermore vs Komodo

Bayonet vs. Claymore the Brave

Haruki Ryu vs. Chester Blood

The Gunslinger vs. Diablo

Alexei Monstro & Richie B (w/Eliza & Siberia) vs. Roberto Samba & Massive Gaines (w/Jackson Good)

There was a palpable heat between all four competitors, as both Gaines and Samba came out far more aggressive and willing to bend the rules than they normally are. This unexpected violence threw the heels for a loop. And after a vicious double release suplex sent Richie crashing into Monstro, Sambra and Gaines stood strong in the ring taking in the crowd’s applause while their opponents re-grouped on the outside.

Romeo: Time out! I am certain that Richie called his first official time out…

Starbright: You can’t be serious…

Samba loses his patience and presses the attack. He is able to send Monstro into the guardrails at ringside. With Gaines and Richie brawling, Eliza and Siberia step forward to slow Samba down. Samba hesitates to brawl with the two females, which leaves him open when Eliza steps forward and kicks him in the groin. Siberia takes advantage to grab Samba and deliver a vicious DDT! Monstro rolls Samba inside and goes for the Russian Interference, but Samba does a beautiful spin out of the move and catches Monstro in a Triangle Choke…

SB: The referee is still trying to separate Gaines and Richie B! These two men have spent the last few minutes throwing everything that’s not nailed down at each other….Gaines goes a flying shoulder block…Richie dodges and sends Gaines CRASHES into those steps…

Piranha: THE VIOLENCE!

Alexei seems to tap out, but no one is there to make the call, despite the pleading cries of the crowd. Richie rolls in to break up the move and delivers a crushing knee to Samba’s head. As our referee finally rolls in, Richie B drags Samba to his feet and hits the Trust Fund Baby. Alexei Monstro follows up with Russian Interference for the pin.

As our show goes off the air, Richie and Monstro take another selfie, posing over the motionless body of Roberto Samba.