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Post by Thumper Moore III on Mar 31, 2020 19:59:33 GMT -5
Where to begin...
After Cotguy130 got his epic fed wiped by cruel fate, condolences were exchanged. This got me thinking... what now? The guys who’s commitment I have always admired, who did probably the best long term booking on the forum... where would we be without the constancy of his fed? The almost daily updates for 17+ in game years?
After a bit of brainstorming, we present a collaborative effort. Cotguy does the booking, I add flavor. Presenting...
The 130Chance XPW!!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Mar 31, 2020 20:14:45 GMT -5
December, Year Zero
Wrestling Monitor Review with Ryan Hernandez
Ryan: Welcome to the Wrestling Monitor Review. I have some HUGE news coming from down south today— it’s just huge. The finals of the tournament to crown the initial XPW champions are complete, and we have some announcements to make.
Alexei Monstro managed to defeat Gunslinger in the finals of the tournament to become the inaugural XPW champion. I think that though this is a bit unpopular with the fans, it’s the right call. Alexei has been in the business for a while, and while Slinger is incredibly over with the fans, he’s still a bit raw.
Rounding out the title holders, the Over Knights defeated H2H to wear the tag belts, Richie B over Roberto Samba for the Midcard TV title, and Mother Mercy going over former tag partner Missy Thicc in— well, I guess it would give the wrong image to call it a hoss fight, but these two big, strong ladies beat the fire out of each other, so I don’t know what else to call it.
Fellow monitors, we also saw two interesting developments as folks came in for their first TV taping. It looks like Thicc changed up her look immediately after the match— she’s more of a 30’s or 40’s speakeasy girl? Anyway, she entered the building with a huge man in a suit who wrestled as Tony the Tank on the indies— we’ll see if he continues that gimmick, but it sure looks that way.
The other interesting thing is that backstage, there were rumors about a program involving Szandor and Grimcraft. There’s a lot of ways they can go with that— Grim could lean more toward Szandor’s sleazy businessman angle, or Szandor could lean into Grim’s mysticism. I’m intrigued by this pairing.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Mar 31, 2020 20:21:28 GMT -5
December, Year Zero
Cyber Blue’s BoobToob Channel
Cyber: Yo yo yo yooooo, yo boy Cyber is here and before I slice up some Christmas noobs on Four Knights, I got somethin to dish, y’all. I got a special guest on chat today, and that is none other than the man, the myth, the legend... Flint Decker!
Flint, over the video game headset: What’s up Cyber?
Cyber: I bet y’all wonderin why I brought on one of the best pro wrestlers in the world. Well, tell em, Flint!
Flint: To all the viewers, Cyber has low key been a fan of wrestling his whole life. I’ve been training him in his spare time... and we’re about to make our XPW debut!
Cyber: YOOOOOOOO!!! That’s what I’m talkin bout! Next week, we’re gonna be yeetin the whole XPW roster all over the place! Y’all check it out!
Flint: And, between you, me, and Electronica, we’ll grab the world, TV, and ladies titles! But you know what would be better? If we recruited two other guys to be the tag champs!
Cyber: YOOO!! That would be dope! Who are they?
Flint: Well, Cyber they’re... wait, game’s starting. We’ve gotta hack through this dude. You want to find out, tune in to XPW!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Mar 31, 2020 20:29:41 GMT -5
December, Year Zero
Chirpy
Dre Apex:
Hey, @richbillions, I know you can’t beat me. Put up your title on the first week of XPW!
Richie B:
@realdreapex, You’re pathetic. Stick to your parkour. You want none of me!
Dre Apex:
@richbillions It’s official. I’m dropping dimes all over your ass on the first show!
Richie B:
You might have dimes, but I have the real money, @realdreapex. #week1 #tvtitle #watchdregethisassbeat
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Post by cotguy130 on Apr 1, 2020 10:31:40 GMT -5
Year 1
BattleBrawl
Boston Arena
1) In the opening 3-way match, Cyber Blue defeats Buddy Danger and Sherman Turk. After the match, Danger’s partner in the Numbskulls tag team, Scuzzbucket, hits the ring. He’s going after Blue, but takes out Turk and his own partner. Blue mocks them as he leaves. The Numbskulls are about to go after Turk when Alexei Monstro’s music hits. They exit through the crowd. Turk is still in the ring, just getting to his feet, when Monstro climbs through the ropes. Alexei picks him up and throws him over the top rope and hard into the barricade.
2) Monstro: Why was that piece of musor allowed to be with 50 feet of me? I forgot. Ignorant, entitled Americans only speak one language. “Musor” means trash in my beautiful mother tongue. I will lower myself and speak in the poor excuse for a language you Americans call English. This is the XPN title. These are the hands that will hold it as long as they want to. This is the waist that will wear it. The other poor excuses for wrestlers in that tournament couldn’t stop me, and nothing will change. Do you see Gunslinger? The great American cowboy!! He’s gone. I embarrassed him so badly that he turned down the contract. I ran the man you put all your faith in right out of this company after one night. I hear they’re going to bring in some new talent. Compared to me. They’re all no-talent…and they will all to their knees and beg me not to hurt them anymore. Send whoever you want, XPW. I will send them right back in wheelchairs, body casts, and well, even you simple-minded Americans can figure it out.
3) We go backstage where three men are bullying a production assistant.
Big Tony: I’m going to tell you one more time, so use your ears, or you might lose ‘em. Tony the Tank was small-time. See this white suit? It costs more than your house. Capiche? I’ve moved up in the Family and my name is Big Tony. Can you say that? No, really, say it! Good, you ain’t as stupid as you look. These goombahs are Dominic and Charlie, but you can call them “yes, sir.” They are my hatchetmen. If I need something done, I tell these guys, and it gets done. It ain’t always pretty neither. Don’t get in their way. Speaking of “pretty”, if I catch you looking at my Baby Doll again, Dom here’s going to take an icepick to those peepers of yours, capiche? What d’ya mean you weren’t looking? You don’t think my Baby Girl’s worth a second look? I don’t care what you meant. Get out of here. Wait, you, camera guy, you stay. All youse folks watching XPW, listen up. We’re the Underworld here in XPW, and me, my Baby Girl, and my boys here are going to be running this place before long. Now, get outta my face.
4) Roberto Samba over Jolly Foo. Roberto challenges the winner of today’s TV title main event.
5) Grimcraft accompanies Szandor to the ring, and remains at the announce table. Szandor looks very different than the fans have been used to seeing, and Grimcraft tells us that “Szandor is dead. The man you see before you is Doomsayer, and he’s traded in his bank book for a spell book.” Doomsayer goes on to defeat Mr. Europa.
6) Zed over Shadow. Zed walks out to no fanfare, wrestles and wins the match, and returns to the back without acknowledging anyone.
7) Baby Girl and Electronica fight to a double-countout. Big Tony and Cyber Blue accompany the ladies to the ring. The ring announcer tries to announce Baby Girl by her familiar name of Missy Thicc, but Tony stops him. “She’s still got the thicc, but now, it’s my thicc. I better not see you eyeing that booty, little man. She’s Big Tony’s Baby Girl, capiche?” The ref doesn’t allow the guys to stay at ringside. Tony is outraged, but complies. During the match, the announcers tell us that Flint Decker was supposed to be here tonight with Blue Steel, but called at the last minute with an emergency. After the bell rings to end the match, Big Tony comes back to the ring. Baby Girl cheap shots Electronica, and Tony tries to splash her. Cyber Blue breaks it up and he and Electronica get away.
8) Dre Apex wins the XPW TV title from Richie B. Richie pouts and whines to the ref, announcers, and anyone who will listen. Nobody listens as they’re celebrating with Dre.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 1, 2020 11:18:48 GMT -5
Year One Week One
The Craft of Wrestling with Pony Umbrella
Pony Umbrella (PU): Welcome to the best podcast in all wrestling! My guests this week are Big Tony, Baby Girl, and the Hatchetmen, Icepick Dominic and Concrete Charlie!
Tony: Pleased to meet yoos, Mr. Umbrella.
PU: So, let me start out by asking, why you four?
Tony: If I can speak for my associates, the reason is simple. Whether you talk to my paisan Johnny Numbers down at the docks, or Timmy Two-Time at the ristorante, you will find that there is no tougher team than the Hatchetmen, nobody stronger than me, and no one more gorgeous than my Baby Girl. Together, we are... exquisite, like a fine red wine paired with a perfectly cooked osso bucco.
PU: (mumbling under his breath) OK, we’re keeping this one kayfabe. (In his regular voice) And why XPW?
Baby Girl: Because we get bored easily, and there’s plenty of jerks to beat up here.
Dominic began to add his two cents, but Tony put up his hand.
Tony: Let’s just say... we’re gonna make XPW a proposal they can’t decline. We’re gonna let the powers that be keep their positions, but everyone is gonna understand who’s really in charge around here. We take our cut, nobody gets hurt. Capiche, paisan?
Charlie then starts glaring at Pony, rubbing his knuckles together.
PU: Oh, I get it Tony. I get it. This has been The Craft of Wrestling with Pony Umbrella, signing off.
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 1, 2020 11:32:11 GMT -5
Year One Week One The Craft of Wrestling with Pony Umbrella Pony Umbrella (PU): Welcome to the best podcast in all wrestling! My guests this week are Big Tony, Baby Girl, and the Hatchetmen, Icepick Dominic and Concrete Charlie! Tony: Pleased to meet yoos, Mr. Umbrella. PU: So, let me start out by asking, why you four? Tony: If I can speak for my associates, the reason is simple. Whether you talk to my paisan Johnny Numbers down again the docks, or Timmy Two-Time at the ristorante, you will find that there is no tougher team than the Hatchetmen, nobody stronger than me, and no one more gorgeous than my Baby Girl. Together, we are... exquisite, like a fine red wine paired with a perfectly cooked osso bucco. PU: (mumbling under his breath) OK, we’re keeping this one kayfabe. (I’m his regular voice) And why XPW? Baby Girl: Because we get bored easily, and there’s plenty of jerks to beat up here. Dominic began to add his two cents, but Tony put up his hand. Tony: Let’s just say... we’re gonna make XPW a proposal they can’t decline. We’re gonna let the powers that be keep their positions, but everyone is gonna understand who’s really in charge around here. We take our cut, nobody gets hurt. Capiche, paisan? Charlie then starts glaring at Pony, rubbing his knuckles together. PU: Oh, I get it Tony. I get it. This has been The Craft of Wrestling with Pony Umbrella, signing off. Pony.EXE has stopped working |
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 1, 2020 20:20:22 GMT -5
January Week One
Wrestling Monitor Review
Ryan Hernandez: We’ve got some breaking news coming from XPW tonight, and it involves Flint Decker. Apparently, he missed the show unexpectedly due to someone putting— get this— sugar in his gas tank. In his hotel parking lot. I repeat— SUGAR. In his GAS TANK. In case anyone was wondering whether this was a work, Wrestling Monitor has actually obtained the damage statement from the rental car company, so either it was a really, really well thought out and convincing work, or it was a legit sabotage by a jealous member of the locker room.
Let’s examine both possibilities— if it was a shoot, then that does not bode well for XPW. If you’ve got infighting in the locker room BEFORE your first show, then that’s a HUGE red flag. But, if it’s a work, then it’s a hell of a work, and that type of dedication to kayfabe should be commended. Either way, I’ll be interested to see how this plays out over the coming weeks.
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 1, 2020 20:23:29 GMT -5
January Week One Wrestling Monitor Review Ryan Hernandez: We’ve got some breaking news coming from XPW tonight, and it involves Flint Decker. Apparently, he missed the show unexpectedly due to someone putting— get this— sugar in his gas tank. In his hotel parking lot. I repeat— SUGAR. In his GAS TANK. In case anyone was wondering whether this was a work, Wrestling Monitor has actually obtained the damage statement from the rental car company, so either it was a really, really well thought out and convincing work, or it was a legit sabotage by a jealous member of the locker room. Let’s examine both possibilities— if it was a shoot, then that does not bode well for XPW. If you’ve got infighting in the locker room BEFORE your first show, then that’s a HUGE red flag. But, if it’s a work, then it’s a hell of a work, and that type of dedication to kayfabe should be commended. Either way, I’ll be interested to see how this plays out over the coming weeks. *Stares at Candy Cotton* |
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Post by cotguy130 on Apr 1, 2020 22:36:31 GMT -5
January Year 1
Friday Fight Season
Canada Centre
Codger: Hello there, XPW fans, welcome to Friday Fight Season!! I’m Rod Codger, and this is my associate,-
Cutie Pie: (Interrupting) Cutie Pie. I can say my own name, thank you. Roger was about to say how honored we are to be a part of the XPW media team. Roger, you be honored all you want. The truth is that XPW should be honored that I took the job. You see, this is merely my first step towards becoming the Queen of All Wrestling Media.
Codger: Queen Cutie Pie? Really?
Cutie Pie: At least my name doesn’t make me sound like I’m perpetually 75-years old. I know, I know, you’re Dad was some hotshot promoter back during prehistoric times. Whatever. You’re the past, Codger, I’m the present and the future.
Codger: My associate and I will be handling the interviews, and asking the hard-hitting questions you, the fans, want answered.
Cutie Pie: I will ask the hard-hitting questions. You will toss softball questions at all the wrestlers the fans like to make them look good. You call yourself a journalist.
Codger: Speaking of wrestlers the fans like, Cutie Pie, if you will step aside, it’s time to welcome Flint Decker and Electronica of Blue Steel.
1) Flint: Thanks, Roger. Elle, chill. I know you already want to slug Cutie Pie. Save it for…what’s she called now…Baby Girl? Lotta self respect there, Missy. Fans, I need to apologize for last week. Most of you read this week what happened. It was actually bigger than the story told. Bottom line is that my rental got vandalized. I could’ve still gotten and made it, but whoever did it called the rental office claiming to be me. They threatened to wreck the office and beat the Hell of out everyone there. So, by the time I get there, the cops are waiting. That took awhile as you can imagine. We did everything straightened out.
Codger: It sounds like you don’t have anything to apologize for. I can report that XPW is investigating the incident as wrestling-related and the perpetrators will be disciplined.
Flint: I have no doubt it was related. Yes, the perp or perps will be disciplined…by me…in the ring, in the locker room, wherever I find them. Now, talk to Elle.
Codger: Electronica, you’re match with Baby Girl last week was a war that didn’t settle anything. I know you both have your eyes on Mother Mercy’s XPW Ladies Championship.
Electronica: Baby Girl needs to be looking elsewhere, because I will be one challenging Mother first. Baby’s been talking in the locker room about how I got the match thrown out because I know she would win. Right. She was running from me. Watch the match. She’s tough as they come despite that silly new name, but I’ve got her number.
Codger: Can I ask you about the actions of Big Tony?
Flint: Elle, can I take this? Blue, thank you for stepping up to defend this ladies honor. Tony, what you tried to do this woman shows what a piece of crap you are. I have no doubt she would take you on herself, and probably kick your ass. I asked Blue to leave a piece of you for me and Elle, Tony. Blue said he couldn’t promise anything of the sort. The kids a great partner.
Electronica: Speaking of partners, Blue Steel is looking to grow-
(She is interrupted by the video screen. It’s Buddy Danger and Scuzzbucket, the Numbskulls)
Buddy: Flint Decker, you ol’ SOB, welcome to XPW. Scuzz and I were so excited to hear you’d signed on…tell ‘em Scuzz, I’m so excited that I can’t even talk about it.
Scuzz: Yo Decker, my man. What’s up? BD’s right. We were so excited when we heard you were coming that we decided to make you the very first guest on our new show, Shenanigans!!
Buddy: In fact, we’ve already filmed it, and we will be releasing it this week for everyone to see. Hope you enjoy it. It was fun for us, right Scuzz?
Scuzz: Right on, BD. Oh, yea, almost forgot, Flint. This song’s for you.
(As the camera fades, the chorus of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” is heard. Flint storms off)
2) Our first match is Cyber Blue versus Big Tony. Baby Girl is with Tony. Electronica walks her teammate to the ring, but he says he can handle Tony by himself. Baby Girl says “Tony can you by himself, little man. I’m just watching his back.” Electronica reluctantly leaves. Big Tony, with Baby Girl’s help, does get the pinfall on Cyber Blue. The Hatchetmen try to attack, but Cyber Blue escapes.
3) Cutie Pie is in a room lit only by candlelight. She is visibly nervous, but trying to hide it.
Cutie: I am somewhere in the, uh, bowels of the Canada Centre. Grimcraft requested some time…why didn’t I let Rod take this one.
(Grimcraft and Doomsayer as suddenly beside her, and she jumps and squeals)
Grimcraft: You are nothing more than a sentient mic stand, child. Whoever fills that role is irrelevant. XPW, welcome to your nightmare. As you know, my associate is Doomsayer. We want to make one simple statement, and then we prefer to have as few dealings with you mundanes as possible. A lot of people seemed triggered by my statement last week where I referenced a spell book. Listen to my words. I don’t care what year it is, or how enlightened you think you are. The Dark Arts are very, very real. I am a master, and Doomsayer is well on his way. Your belief in what we can do is irrelevant. You can’t unbelieve us out of existence. The Dark Arts are here to stay in XPW. What do we want? What does any professional wrestler want? The Dark Arts may follow a different path, but the end is the same. Us on top, looking down at all the rest.
4) The Hatchetmen over The Wheelmen. The Hatchet’s pick up a very convincing win.
5) The Over-Knights are backstage, dancing and having fun, when the Hatchetmen walk by on their way to their locker room.
DOMINIC: Charlie, check out these idiots. Dancing like two fools.
MASSIVE: If ain’t Ice Cream and Chucky. How you…goombahs…doing. That’s a funny word, ain’t it Jackson…goombah.
Jackson: Goombah…goombah…if you say it long enough it sounds like a fake word.
(Gaines and Good start swiveling their hips in unison and chanting “Goombah, Goombah”)
Charlie: Yuck it up all you want. You guys are officially a problem. You got what we deserve, and after we take them from you, you two will be swimming with the fishes.
Jackson: Swimming? We love swimming. Can we skinny dip?
Massive: No, the fish will be there, and they’ll see our, you know…
Dominic: Little worms?
Massive: That was actually funny for a goombah. You ok in my book. Till you come for the belt, then it’s on. Let’s go find our bathing suits, Jack.
6) Seraph retains the Cruiserweight title against his tag team partner, Diablo. People expecting a high-flying affair were disappointed when Diablo went completely away from his usual style. Seraph put him away with the Heavenstrike. The crowd showed their displeasure to Diablo even as the partners shook hands and embraced. When Seraph went to climb the turnbuckle to play to the fans, Diablo grabbed him from behind and suplexed him hard to the mat. Diablo grabbed the belt, and the fans jeered. He gave Seraph a couple more stomps and then threw the belt onto his prone form. As he headed up the ramp, Grimcraft and Doomsayer walked out. The trio greeted each other as partners. Doomsayer handed Diablo a mask which he put on over his red devil one. The new one was a white skull. The trio left together as a slowly recovering Seraph watched in disbelief.
Rod and Cutie Pie signed off for the night with a reminder that the reminder that the Battle Royale is in two week. Next week, we will find out the 10 participants.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 2, 2020 9:21:01 GMT -5
January Year One, Week Two
Shenanigans
Buddy Danger and Scuzzbucket are hiding in the bushes outside a hotel, giggling. “OK, Scuzz, you’ve got the sugar and the funnel? Good. Shhh.... here he comes!” A late model Suburban rolls in, and out steps Flint Decker in gym clothes, sweating. He opens up his hotel room and walks inside. “Now, Scuzz, go go go!!!”
Scuzzbucket prices open the gas tank and dumps and entire 5 pound bag of sugar into the gas tank, then returns to the bushes to hide. A few minutes later (after Scuzz and Buddy repeatedly insinuate they are sleeping with each other’s moms), Flint emerges, having changed out of his gym clothes and into a button down and slacks to head to the arena. He tries to start the car, and nothing happens. Scuzz and Buddy can be heard trying to stifle laughter in the background. Flint goes back inside, muttering about calling the car rental agency. “Time for phase two, Scuzz.”
Buddy then gets on his phone. “Hello, police? Yes, I’d like to report intentional destruction of property. The subject is Flint Decker, and the property is the rental car he secured from our agency, Ducat Car Rental. My name? It’s, um, Johnny Nashville. Yeah, like the city. Thanks. He’s at the Vacation Inn on state road 22.”
Scuzz and Buddy burst out laughing as if they’d just pulled off the best prank in the history of mankind.
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 2, 2020 9:23:26 GMT -5
January Year One, Week Two Shenanigans Buddy Danger and Scuzzbucket are hiding in the bushes outside a hotel, giggling. “OK, Scuzz, you’ve got the sugar and the funnel? Good. Shhh.... here he comes!” A late model Suburban rolls in, and out steps Flint Decker in gym clothes, sweating. He opens up his hotel room and walks inside. “Now, Scuzz, go go go!!!” Scuzzbucket prices open the gas tank and dumps and entire 5 pound bag of sugar into the gas tank, then returns to the bushes to hide. A few minutes later (after Scuzz and Buddy repeatedly insinuate they are sleeping with each other’s moms), Flint emerges, having changed out of his gym clothes and into a button down and slacks to head to the arena. He tries to start the car, and nothing happens. Scuzz and Buddy can be heard trying to stifle laughter in the background. Flint goes back inside, muttering about calling the car rental agency. “Time for phase two, Scuzz.” Buddy then gets on his phone. “Hello, police? Yes, I’d like to report intentional destruction of property. The subject is Flint Decker, and the property is the rental car he secured from our agency, Ducat Car Rental. My name? It’s, um, Johnny Nashville. Yeah, like the city. Thanks. He’s at the Vacation Inn on state road 22.” Scuzz and Buddy burst out laughing as if they’d just pulled off the best prank in the history of mankind. Those little shits |
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Post by cotguy130 on Apr 2, 2020 22:54:20 GMT -5
January Year 1
Wrestling Classic
Cattle Castle
CUTIE PIE: Hello there, XPW fans, this is the future Queen of All Wrestling Media, Cutie Pie, here to welcome you to tonight’s episode of WRESTLING CLASSIC. We’ve got four big matches for you tonight, and three of them will have serious implications for next week’s Battle Royale P4V. Speaking of the Battle Royale, I’ve been told to let you know that Old-Man Rod will be giving the names of 9 of the 10 participants. I’m sure it will be an absolute thrill ride of a segment (fake yawn). You will know all 10 names by the time we sign off. Flint Decker will go face-to-face with the Numbskulls regarding there, uh, shenanigans last week. Those guys are hilarious in my not-so-humble opinion. Hold on, here comes a XPW newcomer, Claymore. Excuse me, Claymore, can I have a word-?
CLAYMORE: The Brave.
CUTIE PIE: Huh?
CLAYMORE: It’s Claymore the Brave, and I’m about to wrestle. Can this wait? I hate to be rude.
CUTIE PIE: Well, Clay, you are. You do realize you’re wrestling Wally Saratoga? I hope you’re not expecting a multi-star classic.
CLAYMORE: I must go.
CUTIE PIE: No problem, Claymore the Rude!
1) Claymore the Brave does indeed make short work of Wally Saratoga. Cutie Pie is waiting at ringside.
CUTIE PIE: Now, you’re going to talk to me. Would you watch the sword!!
CLAYMORE: I prefer my interviews to be scheduled, Miss…Pie?
CUTIE PIE: Never call me that again. Deal? Like I said, you beat Wally in about a minute. You barely broke a sweat.
CLAYMORE: I didn’t become the greatest warrior in the Northwoods Kingdom by taking any opponent lightly. Young Wallace has a bright future I’m sure.
CUTIE PIE: They’ve been saying that for like 20 years. He’s one of those guys that never gets any better for some reason. Tell the fans why you are called “The Brave”, and how you got to be the greatest warrior in the North-woods? Kingdom. I didn’t think there were any places left that had “warriors.” The Kingdom must be old-school.
CLAYMORE: All titles and honors were bestowed upon me by Lord Evermore, ruler of the Northwoods Kingdom. I earned them on the battlefield.
CUTIE PIE: You take Game of Thrones way too seriously. I’d love to meet this Evermore. I bet he’s a real piece of work.
CLAYMORE: You can. He’s making an appearance at the Battle Royale, and his in-ring debut will be on BattleBrawl in 2 weeks.
CUTIE PIE: Oh, I’m going to do just that. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Fans, let’s go back to the ring
2) The Hatchetmen are already in the ring with Big Tony. All three are arguing that the Hatchets shouldn’t have to wrestle another contender’s match since they already beat the Wheelmen. The Ring Announcer informed them that the Wheelmen weren’t ranked high enough to give another team a title shot for beating them. Tony asks who they have to beat.
RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to XPW, at a combined weight of 450 lbs., from the town that gave them their name, Brick City!!!
Tony and the Hatchets lose their minds. Hustler and Banger ignore the fans as they hit the ring at full speed. They haven’t been popular with the fans at their other stops, but XPW hates The Underworld. However, with Big Tony’s help, The Hatchetmen defeat Brick City to earn the tag team title match at Battle Royale. Tony and his boys don’t stick around ringside gloating as Brick City rage over the loss.
3) ROD CODGER: This is Rod Codger with news from next week’s Battle Royale. It’s what you’ve been waiting for, 9 of the 10 names of the men who will fight for a title shot at Alexei Monstro later that same night. The 10th name will be determined by our main event, a 3-way between Shadow, Komodo, and Richie B. The winner goes on to the Battle Royale, and the losers stay home. (We go to a Battle Royale graphic, and we hear Rod in voiceover) One, Flint Decker…Two, Grimcraft…Three, Diablo…Four, Roberto Samba…Five, Zed….and Six, Sherman Turk. Don’t ask me, fans. No offense to Mr. Turk, but I don’t get it either. Additionally, three new wrestlers will debut at the Battle Royale. Chester Blood, reportedly the son of WoW legend Keith Blood. Jakob Hearse, the man who has terrorized European rings for several years, and, from the Land of the Rising Sun, a true legend, Grand Manga. (Back to Rod) I’m sure every fan has a favorite from that group. Speaking as an analyst of the business, my pick is Flint Decker. Next up in the ring will be a rematch between Electronica and Baby Girl with Falls Count Anywhere rules. The winner will challenge Mother Mercy for the XPW Ladies title at Battle Royale.
4) A long, grueling match saw Baby Girl pin Electronica in the concourse area of the Cattle Castle. The finish came when Baby Girl powerslammed Electronica at the base of an escalator. She rode the escalator several feet up, then leapt back down onto Electronica for the pin. Both women were hurt. Big Tony and Flint Decker came out, but only tended to their ladies. Tony helped Baby Girl away from the scene, but Electronica was loaded onto a stretcher. She spoke briefly with Flint, so she was conscious. She told Flint to deal with the Numbskulls, and Cyber Blue volunteered to ride to the hospital. Flint made his way from the concourse to the ring by cutting through the crowd.
5) FLINT: I’ve been in WoW three weeks, and twice somebody’s tried to take out one of my best friends in the whole world. What just happened with Baby Girl and Elle happened in a match, and she knew the risks. Big Tony, I’ve already talked about how I feel about you. Cyber Blue may have come up a little short last week, but he took more than a pound of flesh. Now, you’ve got to face me, and I’m going to skin all that flab right off you. I’ve got so much on my mind…Alexei, bottom line, I’m winning the Battle Royale and taking the XPW title. Short and sweet, my man. Enjoy your last week as champion (Pour Some Sugar On Me hits over the PA). I’m surprised these idiots lasted this long. Great song, though, too bad they’ve ruined it for me.
The Numbskulls walk out and to the ring. They try to shake Flint’s hand, but he laughs.
BUDDY: I’m glad to see you have a sense of humor, Flint. Scuzz says you were a dick. So, you liked our shenanigans?
SCUZZ (interrupting Flint): Sure he did. He won’t admit it now, but I bet he and the blue-haired chick and Cyber…dude laughed their butts off. Remember when the po-po showed up and almost cuffed you? We were laughing so hard we were dying!
FLINT: I heard you. It was hysterical.
BUDDY: You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?
FLINT: Damn right. There was nothing funny about what you idiots did. Well, ok, if you have the sense of humor of a 12yo boy, you might find it funny. Two grown men acting like that. Wow. I know idiots like you two don’t care who you hurt, or what trouble you cause, as long as you entertain yourselves and whatever other emotionally stunted adults are fans of yours. Buddy, Scuzz, I’m not going to let it slide. You made a big mistake making me your first target, you idiots.
SCUZZ (serious): Decker, we’re getting tired of being called idiots.
BUDDY: Based on your o-so-indignant reaction, I think we picked the best first victim. I hope they’re all as self-righteous as you. I guess you want a match against one of us, huh? For some payback, tough guy?
FLINT: No, I don’t want a match against one of you.
SCUZZ: Indignant and scared.
FLINT: Keep dreaming, scab. I don’t want a match against one of you, I want a match against both of you.
SCUZZ: What? You and Cyber against both of us? Fine.
FLINT: You guys really don’t get it. “Idiots” is the perfect word for both of you, like it or not. I don’t need Blue, or anyone, with me to take on you guys. I don’t consider you a threat at all. I’m talking handicap match, bitches. Believe me, even short-handed, I’m not the one with the handicap. (Decker leaves the ring)
BUDDY (hesitantly): Bad move, Decker...bad…
SCUZZ: Yea, just stop. Let’s go.
6) In the main event, Shadow defeats Richie B and Komodo to win the final spot in the Battle Royale.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 3, 2020 8:51:33 GMT -5
January Year One
Week 3 Chirpy Highlights
@diabloxpw
¡BIENVENIDOS AL INFIERNO! #battleroyale
@yoboycyber
YOOO!! It’s gonna be lit when my bro Flint Decker yeets 9 other dudes over the top and then beats Alexei for the world championship!
@bigtony450
When my enforcers win the tag titles off the Over Knights, and my Baby Girl wins the Ladies title, it’ll be as sweet as a chianti paired with Oma’s homemade gelati. #hatchetmen
@babyblood187
When I debut at Battle Royale, you’ll all see that I have surpassed my uncle Keith in skill... and in sadism. #battleroyale #deviantbehavior
@sambamma
I will do what I came to XPW to do at Battle Royale— beat up the dishonorable and make a name for myself.
@acedogma
Hey, @bigtony450, if you think for one second your goons have a chance, then it’s time you learned how over the Over Knights are. #goombahs
@northwoodsclaymore
How does this Chirpy thing work? Do I just talk and it gets typed? What happens if I hit this button marked send
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 3, 2020 9:22:14 GMT -5
January Year One Week 3 Chirpy Highlights @diabloxpw ¡BIENVENIDOS AL INFIERNO! #battleroyale @yoboycyber YOOO!! It’s gonna be lit when my bro Flint Decker yeets 9 other dudes over the top and then beats Alexei for the world championship! @bigtony450 When my enforcers win the tag titles off the Over Knights, and my Baby Girl wins the Ladies title, it’ll be as sweet as a chianti paired with Oma’s homemade gelati. #hatchetmen @babyblood187 When I debut at Battle Royale, you’ll all see that I have surpassed my uncle Keith in skill... and in sadism. #battleroyale #deviantbehavior @sambamma I will do what I came to XPW to do at Battle Royale— beat up the dishonorable and make a name for myself. @acedogma Hey, @bigtony450, if you think for one second your goons have a chance, then it’s time you learned how over the Over Knights are. #goombahs @northwoodsclaymore How does this Chirpy thing work? Do I just talk and it gets typed? What happens if I hit this button marked send Could I help Claymore with his account? |
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