The 130Chance XPW

[cotguy130]

January Week 3
Wrestling Classic
Empire Gardens

• Silvergod over Kongo Kid

• Brick City and Brooklyn Belle are backstage talking.
BANGER: So you haven’t actually seen Mack?
BELLE: Nope. We’ve talked every day, but I haven’t seen him
since last Saturday.
HUSTLER: I talked to him yesterday, and he seemed to be in
good mood. He was excited about the “new Mack Caliber”
debuting in tonight’s main event. He even got permission from
the office to arrive late so he wouldn’t spoil the surprise.
BELLE: First, my Mack hates surprises.
HUSTLER: Since when did Mack Caliber ask permission for
anything?
BELLE: You know it. Guys, I’m worried. What if Mack changes
too much? I love him with all my heart, but what if becomes something I can’t love? All this military talk…In the streets where I come from, the Army is out there, but you just don’t talk about them. They do what they do and you do what you do, and they don’t really mix.
BANGER: I hear ya’.
HUSTLER: I guess you’ll find out in about an hour and a half.

• Hijack and Intruder defeat Wally Saratoga and Thumper Moore III

• Cutie Pie is with Mother Mercy.
CUTIE PIE: Mother Mercy, you appear to have been targeted by the Sky Diamonds due to your friendship with the seemingly departed Missy Thicc. What are your thoughts on this?
MOTHER MERCY: My thoughts are wondering if they are suicidal. Pink, Destiny, if you guys want to come after me because you’re mad at Missy, so be it. It’s a mistake. I know you blame me for our SotF team not working. That’s a load of crap, but you two have convinced one another that’s the truth, and by now, who cares. I don’t need a reason to kick your asses, while you’ve had to manufacture two reasons to convince yourselves that I’m an enemy. So, let’s go, ladies. One at a time or I’ll get a partner. I want you two behind me soon. I’ve got more important things to deal with than you two.

• The Argonauts over Flint Decker and Zeta Quade.
FLINT: You guys are an amazing team, and you should be the champions, but can you drop the charade? We want to talk to the Harmony Brothers. We don’t even know what this is.
MITHRA: Then you have a poor knowledge of world history.
ZETA: You look like goofs.

<The Argonauts double-superkick Zeta>

• The Sky Diamonds are out.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: Destiny, did you hear Mother Mercy out here running us down?
DESTINY: I did hear her, PC. Mother, you need therapy. You’re suffering from paranoia. You made two points, both of which were pure garbage. First, you said we blame you for the failure at Survival of the Fittest. You’re actually right about that because it was your fault. We are coming after you for your failures. We’ve accepted that you held us back and we’ve moved on.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: You know what else we’ve moved on from…Missy Thicc. Why wouldn’t we? We ran her out of XPW and she wouldn’t even give me a rematch. Why do you think she was so jittery at the Tournament of Queens? She was scared of us. We thought about taking her out the hard way, but everyone knew she wasn’t going to give me a chance to deliver that receipt she had coming. Mother, we have no reason to single you out. Destiny, give ‘em your theory.
DESTINY: Mother, you’ve largely become irrelevant in XPW. I will say this for Missy, she carried you. That’s obvious. No wonder you fought so desperately to get her back from Tony last year. You didn’t care about her, but without her you were nothing. After your team split, you faded quickly. With Missy gone, you have no coattails to ride, so you think we will be your stepping stones. We aren’t calling you out because you mean nothing to us. Your calling us out in a weird sort of way. If that’s what you really want, we will take the time out of our busy schedule to rid XPW of you as well. If your sincere, then we should be seeing you in a ring real soon, “Mommy”.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: I don’t think she’s sincere, Destiny. She doesn’t want a thing to do with the Sky Diamonds.

• Tempest over Kristy Tristan.

• We see Donny Atomic moving cautiously around backstage. Kyle reports that he’s not even supposed to be here due to the injuries suffered at the hands of Slapstick. Rod Codger approaches him to remind him of that fact.
ATOMIC: Codger, shut up. You want to break a story here in XPW, follow me.

We see for the first time that Atomic is brandishing a baseball bat. He approaches a closed door. We hear two people talking. One is laughing and giggling, the other sounds like Icepick Dominic. Atomic bursts into the room howling and Slapstick is there, alone. Atomic dives across a table and takes out the vanity where Slapstick is applying his face paint. Slapstick is reaching for his sledgehammer, but Atomic throws his bat and catches Slapstick in the temple. Atomic then grabs a piece of broken glass and goes after Slapstick’s face. We can’t see what he’s doing, but when he rolls off, we see Slapsticks’ half-painted face is bloody. The broadcast puts a square over his face to hide it. However, he is still laughing. Atomic then gives him a couple of shots to his chest and abdomen before leaving.
CODGER: I don’t like this guy one bit, but we gotta get him some medical attention.

• Pendragon and Reviver come out first and second for the main event triple-threat match. We see Brooklyn Belle and Brick City standing by the entrance on the backstage side waiting for the “new” Mack Caliber. Unfamiliar music hits, but the crowd likes it. Caliber comes around the corner. He is shirtless, wearing long camo paints, combat boots, and a camo hat. He stops in front of Brooklyn and says “Discipline, Hard Work, Honor”, then passes through to the arena floor. After a crisp salute of the audience, he tosses his cap to a child and makes his way to the ring. Pendragon mocks his military mannerisms, and Caliber goes right after him.

The New Mack Caliber goes on to win, pinning Pendragon. He recognizes the crowd multiple times, and they love it.

[Thumper Moore III]

The Johnny Corvette Experience

I want to talk about this “new” Mack Caliber for a minute. By God, the incompetent buffoons at XPW might just be onto the nut that the blind squirrel finds every once in a while. The guy’s got a great look— he’s military, but not overly military. Great tag line— respect, hard work, whatever the $&?@ the other thing was. Fans dig it. The guy’s already more over than he ever was with his rap gimmick.

But I would’ve worked his $?&@in’ debut match different. He needs a strong, dominant win over a strong opponent. Pendragon— former tag champ, part of a good faction when he debuted, but he’s a little guy. He should be dominating little guys. You need to feed him somebody like Massive Gaines— big guy, former tag and TV champ, have him get dominated, then it’s instant legitimacy. Overall though, they didn’t screw this one up too $&@?in’ badly.

[Thumper Moore III]

Chirpy Highlights

@bigmackdaddy
Great redebut. Thank you to all the XPW fans for their support.

@smilefordoninic
Now, THAT’s the type of effort I like, Atomic. Pain begets pain— and pain is pleasure. Teeheehee!!

@sevenstarzeta
Max, Rex— Total Harmony is who we want, nonono, NEED to round out the Very Important People. Who are you anymore?

@doomsayerxpw
Who is next to meet your doom? It doesn’t matter when I have the Bizarre at my side. Thus sayeth the Doomsayer!!

[cotguy130]

January Week 4
Battle Royale
London Grounds

1) The Participants in the Battle Royale are:

Void/Slashmaster/Gridiron/Alexei Monstro/Chugger/Mr. Europa/Yugen/Donny Atomic/Jakob Hearse/Kongo Kid/Seraph/Reviver/Emperor Enyu/Chester Blood/GQ/Pendragon/Massive Gaines/Diablo/Bayonet/Cyber Red.

After all the participants are in the ring, Doomsayer comes out, flanked by Silvergod and The Forsaken.
DOOMSAYER: Gentlemen, I eagerly await the victor in this match. It’s sad that so many of you believe that you have a chance of winning this event. Only about 2, maybe 3 of you have any chance whatsoever, and I will gearing up for someone of that very short list. See you soon.

• Slashmaster wins the Battle Royale by last eliminating Massive Gaines. As soon as Slashmaster is declared the winner, The Bizarre attack him in the ring. He sheds off the attack and then throws both men hard over the top rope. Doomsayer comes back out.

DOOMSAYER: You can’t blame a man for trying, Slashmaster. For what it’s worth, you were who I expected. Understand this Slashmaster, I have no fear of you. I know what you’re made of and I’m not impressed. Prepare to fail.
SLASMASTER: If you have to tell yourself that out loud, Doomsayer, I’ve already won. Your fear is palpable, and the XPW title is mine.

2) In a TV title match, Xeno and Mack Caliber wrestle to a 30-minute time-limit draw. Brooklyn Belle comes out with Caliber, but looks very uncomfortable and does not remain with him.

3) Brick City are watching on a monitor in the back.
HUSTLER: Belle’s not into this soldier-boy look Mack’s got going.
BANGER: You can say that again. Maybe it’s time I tried keeping the fine mama happy.
HUSTLER: Not even, bro. Forget that.
BANGER: Why not? You taking dibs?
HUSTLER: There’s no dibs on Belle, bro. She’s our friend, and right now she’s our friend’s girl.
BANGER: I haven’t decided if Mack’s still my friend.
HUSTLER: Until he gives me a reason not to be, then I’m still down with him. We may not hang like we used to, but I still respect the brother.
BANGER: Alright. I can live with that for now.

4) In an XPW Ladies Title match, Keziah defeats Candy Cotton.

5) We cut to another video. It’s the same religious structure from the video a few weeks ago.
This time, the two figures are kneeling in front of the altar. They both look up at the same time. The
smaller one, who had been wearing the cowboy hat, starts to stand. A big hand holds him down.
Figure #2 (familiar voice but not exactly) : But I am ready.
Figure #1: I decide that.
Figure #2: How long, Father? How long?
Figure #1 : Very soon. Remain here. I have chores to finish.
• The large figure stands and removes the crucifix from around his neck and hands it to the other person.

Figure #1: You are ready for this.

• Figure #1 turns and begins walking towards the camera. Has he passes through the light coming through a window, we see a familiar face sporting a long, bushy beard.

Figure #2 (Still kneeling at the altar): Thank you, Father Zed. I will not disappoint.

6) The Mindbenders retain the XPW tag titles against the Argonauts. After the match, Mystic addresses their opponents.
MYSTIC: You call yourselves The Argonauts.
MITHRAS: We are argonauts.
MYSTIC: The Argonauts of myth existed thousands of years ago. You claim to be them?
SOLIS: We claim <long pause> ancestry. Please do not continue to doubt our identities.

• The Argonauts leave.

MYSTIC (to Prof. When): Some force is at work in these young men’s minds.
WHEN: Evil magic?
MYSTIC: Not magic. I can’t pin it down. I need more time with them. It’s not necessarily evil, either. Not like Slashmaster or Doomsayer. It’s more…mischievous if anything.

7) In the main event, Slashmaster makes short work of Doomsayer to win the XPW title. He is joined by Nevermore and Void. Silvergod and The Forsaken carry Doomsayer to the back.

[Thumper Moore III]

The Craft of Wrestling with Pony Umbrella

PONY: Welcome to the Craft of Wrestling! This week, I am graced by a true legend of the sport, and man who has been making people uncomfortable for three decades, and a man who joined his brother in XPW. I am speaking, of course, about my guest today, the incomparable Silvergod!

SILVERGOD: Thanks for having me, Pony.

PONY: Now, you have such a tremendous back catalogue of feuds, matches, memorable moments. What was your favorite angle you’ve ever done?

SILVERGOD: Pony, I have to say, to pick one is like choosing a favorite child. I mean, the angle I did when I debuted when I teamed with Dad, and they we’re trying g to make me a vanilla babyface. (stifled laughter) The one against HFK back in the day where I did everything I could to make him uncomfortable— that was probably the most fun because the whole time I was just trying to make him break character.

PONY: What about recently? What made you agree to come in and kind of lend your expertise to someone like Doomsayer? What do you see in him that makes him specia enough to be champ?

SILVERGOD: Well, when I was brought in, that wasn’t the original plan. The original plan was going to be the other way around— Doomsayer as MY lackey as I challenged Sterling for the title. But, you know, plans change. New creative people come in, and the plans you made aren’t in line with the new vision.

PONY: You mean Aaron Gee.

SILVERGOD: I never met that guy, but I hear he has some sway backstage. Anyway, I’ve been around the block long enough to know that when plans change, you go with the flow. Would’ve been nice to have been the first set of brothers to win the same major world title since the Thompsons. And maybe that’ll still happen— but you don’t put a title on someone like Slash and then pull it off of him. He’s not the “transitional champion” type.

PONY: So what’s next for Silvergod? You gonna be sticking with Doomsayer for the time being?

SILVERGOD: Tune in next week to find out! (Both chuckle.) Honestly, I’m not sure. I feel like the rug got pulled, and I’m a big enough name to find employment wherever, so you never know where Silvergod will show up. But, if XPW gives me something interesting, I’ll be here. It’s not about titles, fame, or money anymore for me— it’s about telling great stories and sending the fans home happy, no matter what my role.

PONY: Silvergod, ladies and gentlemen.

[cotguy130]

February Week 1
BattleBrawl
Empire Gardens

Cutie Pie opens the show.
CUTIE PIE: Welcome to BattleBrawl!! Live from the Empire Gardens. XPW is proud to be back in this world-famous building bringing you the best in pro wrestling. I do have a change to announce in tonight’s main event. We apologize, but it is out of our hands. The scheduled Trios main event between Slashmaster, Nevermore, and Void against Doomsayer, Silvergod, and The Forsaken is now Slashmaster, Nevermore, and Void against Alexei Monstro and The Hard Way. However, we will be hearing from Doomsayer in a taped message we received earlier this week. He explains why the match won’t happen, but I think it’s because he’s pouting. He got destroyed!! Anyhow, thank you for joining us and let’s go to the ring.

1) Massive Gaines over Cyber Red.

2) Gavin Sterling is shown via remote from his home.
STERLING: I’d much rather be talking to all you fans right there at the Gardens. Thanks to Silvergod, Forsaken, and Doomsayer, the doctors have ordered me to stay away from the arenas till I am ready to get physical. I hate to admit it, but those guys did a number on me. Wasn’t just once either. They’ve hit me a couple of times over the last few weeks, and they’ve got the job done. I’ve had surgery to fix a couple of things they damaged, don’t want to get too specific. I’m all good, and I’m already rehabbing hard. Still, docs say they think I can be back in time to win the March Madness tournament in about 8 weeks. Yes, I said “win” the tournament. If I’m released to compete, I will be taking home that trophy. From there…Slashmaster, my old fiend, say all your demon prayers, if that’s what you’re still into because I’m coming for my title. Tell Nevermore and Void to stand down as this is our problem. Doomsayer, I’m not forgetting you and your little freak show. Silvergod and Forsaken, you’ll regret listening to Doomsie. That’s a promise.

3) Morbid and Dre Apex over Brick City.

4) As the frustrated Brick City make their way to the back, Mack Caliber comes out. He tries to talk to them as they go by, but they blow him off.
CALIBER: Discipline, Hard Work, and Honor are the words I live by. Apparently, my friends and my girlfriend, can’t handle that. I don’t know why they refuse to respect the direction I’ve taken with my life. All I’ve done is chosen to prioritize different things. I’m not asking them to change, but to accept the new me. Brick City, Belle, I am always ready to talk, but I need you to come to me when you’re ready. The fans are wondering why is there a new Mack Caliber. The old one didn’t get the job done. I’ve complained a lot over the last few months, and one day I just got tired of the sound of my own voice saying the same things over and over without changing anything. I knew the change would have to be drastic, so here I am. From glorifying prison thuggery to glorifying the US Army. Which one do you think is the more noble calling? I’ve lived them both in real life, and I was a much better man when I answered to Uncle Sam. I want to capture that again in XPW. It can only be a step forward, people. I hope you all will take it with me.

5) Yugen over Mr. Europa

6) Warhawk over Eliza Brat

7) In a non-title NO DQ match, Chester Blood defeats Grifter.

8) We look at a video featuring Doomsayer and The Bizarre.
DOOMSAYER: No, last week did not go as I expected. I was prepared for Slashmaster, but not enough obviously. I am choosing, at this time, to take a sabbatical. My enemies will call it anything but what it is. I’m taking a break from wrestling, but I’m leaving things in the more than capable hands of The Bizarre. Bring your false accusations. They are as irrelevant as you are. I will return when it suits me, and you will all kneel. That’s all you need to know.

9) Slashmaster, Nevermore, and Void versus Alexei Monstro and The Hard Way ends in double disqualification when the match breaks down and the ref loses control. The six men continue to fight as the show ends.

[Thumper Moore III]

Chirpy Highlights

@babyblood187
Thank the good devil below that I can put that loser Grifter in my rear view mirror once I take his title.

@acedogma
New color, same Cyber, same loser. Gaines, you are a national treasure.

@bigdaddymack
Discipline, Hard Work, and Honor are the three pillars on which I stand. Belle and Brick City are the three friends I lean on. Wish they weren’t at odds.

@elizabratxpw
Like, I totally don’t get why Warhawk is so rough. Lighten up and let your hair... erm, feathers down.

@dreapex
Morbid and I are headed back to the top. No ifs, ands, buts, or brothers standing in our way.

@nevermore
I must say, I rightly enjoyed our little spat with Monstro and the Hard Way. Maybe next time they’ll keep it clean.

[cotguy130]

February Week 2
Friday Fight Season
Golden Plaza

1) The Hard Way over H2H

2) Next up is the debut of a new female wrestler, Celestria. Kyle and Adam tell us that she claims to be aligned with Mystic and Prof. When, and on the same mission.

• She defeats Brooklyn Belle in the opener.

3) Chester Blood is headed to the ring to address his attack on his former friend, Grifter, when is attacked by the man himself. It’s a short attack featuring several baseball bat shots to the back and neck. Grifter mocks his fallen foe and leaves.

4) In a three-way match, Bayonet defeats Dre Apex and Ziggy Thrash. After the match, Kyle stops Apex at ringside.
MARIST: Dre, have you had any luck getting more information on who sent you that mysterious box with the “head” in it?
APEX: Marist, your timing sucks. I just lost a big match and you’re asking about a prank? No, I’ve had no luck because I haven’t tried. I don’t care. Unless you have a relevant question, stop bothering me.

5) Claymore over Shadow.

6) Amber Hardbody is backstage looking for Chugger. Nora Novack says he was headed to craft services. When she rounds the corner, Audrey Onyx punches her in the face. She turns, and runs into a gut stomp from Novack. They fling her into a ladies bathroom door. It opens and she stumbles in. They follow and throw her into a stall.
ONYX: Nora, give her the swirlie.
NOVACK: I’m not getting close to the filthy toilet. You do it.
ONYX: I’m not doing it, that’s gross. Amber, you’re lucky we both have weak stomachs when it comes to bodily waste stuff. We’re going to leave you there to think about what might have happened.
NOVACK: WE are the wrestling aesthetic, Amber. We define beauty. You may have a bunch of jabronis lusting after your admittedly fantastic figure-
ONYX: Nora-
NOVACK: You’re still ugly!!

• At that point, a roar of anger is heard and Chugger, carrying a plate of food, charges into the ladies room. The Aesthetics scream and try to run past him. They partially succeed, although Audrey get the plate of food right in the face. Chugger checks on Amber as we cut away.

7) The Gold Club over The Lady Bugs.

8) As Tarah and Carolina embrace the Lady Bugs and acknowledge the fans, Candy Cotton comes out.
CAROLINA: Hi, Candy, come on down.
COTTON: I’m good, here. ‘Lina, I just want you to know that I forgive you.
CAROLINA: For-
COTTON: Throwing away our friendship for her.
TARAH: Her has a name. It’s Tarah Thompson, daughter of Strongarm Thompson. In this business, Thompson and Strutter are synonymous with greatness. I have nothing against you personally Candy, but Candy Cotton…a little gimmicky don’t you think?
COTTON: I like it. It’s catchy.
CAROLINA: You two stop. I had enough of this when we were training for Survival of the Fittest.
COTTON: Why did you bring her along, anyhow.
TARAH: She wanted to win. I’m going to say this, Carolina. She’s had it coming. Candy, you should be thanking us. You got an XPW ladies title match out of the hard work the Gold Club put in. The fact you couldn’t do anything with it is not our problem.
CAROLINA: Stop making this harder, T. Candy, back to your first statement. I don’t need your forgiveness. I didn’t hurt you. Tarah and I told you how we were going to handle the title shots if we won. Why were you surprised?
CANDY: I thought you were messing with me. Carolina Candy has ruled XPW for over two years. Why change it now? Let Tarah have the shot at Keziah. I’m sure she would win.
TARAH: Thank you, I guess.
CAROLINA: Candy, it’s a done deal. You’ve had your shot. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Tarah and I didn’t surprise you with anything. If you didn’t listen, that’s your issue. Don’t try this condescending forgiveness crap when we’ve done nothing wrong…for the last time. B

• Candy stops her feet, gives a frustrated shriek, and runs off.

9) Mother Mercy over Pink Champagne. Destiny tried to attack Mother after the match and got beaten up herself.

10) Xeno retains the TV title against the Void.

[Thumper Moore III]

Wrestling Monitor Review with Ryan Hernandez

RYAN: Ladies wrestling is our focus today, but I’m honored to discuss the ladies with a trio of absolute legends. Their daughters (or in one case, niece), are tearing things up in XPW right now, I’m joined by former world champion Jet Set Strutter and Strongarm and Otto Thompson, the Minneapolis Construction Crew. Gentlemen, it’s always a pleasure to sit across from some of the best ever.

STRUTTER: It’s a pleasure to be here, Ryan.

RYAN: So, first, how has women’s wrestling evolved since you guys were tearing it up?

STRONGARM: Ryan, the business has changed for the better. Years ago, the women like Chaka Crass and Mynx who could really tell great stories in the ring were often pushed aside for talent like Bombshell or Gothica, who had more of the “look” the promoters were going for.

OTTO: And by look, we mean sex appeal.

STRONGARM: To put it bluntly, yes.

RYAN: So, what changed to allow women like Carolina Strutter and Tarah Thompson to have the ability to have five star matches?

STRUTTER: Promoters gradually became more willing to see women being more and more equal to the men. And frankly, a lot of them had daughters that wanted to be a part of the business, and that made them feel uncomfortable.

OTTO: You know how it is— that attitude change started with the idea that what I’m OK doing to someone else’s daughter, I’m not OK having someone else do to my daughter. It’s stupid that we couldn’t see that in those days.

STRUTTER: Certainly the way I’ve treated women has changed since I became the parent of one.

STRONGARM: Me too.

RYAN: On a scale of one to ten, how proud are you of the work the new generation of women has produced in the ring?

STRONGARM: Ten.

STRUTTER: Eleven.

OTTO: There’s not a number high enough.

RYAN: So, this angle with Carolina, Tarah, and Candy Cotton... do they end up being the next Three Amigos like you guys, or do they split from here? And if so, how do they split?

STRUTTER: Ryan, that’s for you to find out with the rest of us. I have no idea.

OTTO: I guess we’ll all find out together— but color me intrigued.

RYAN: Gentlemen, thanks for joining me.

[cotguy130]

February Week 3
Wrestling Classic
The Ballroom

1) Donny Atomic over Reviver.

2) Keziah is sitting in a dimly-lit room. She is chanting or “praying” in an unknown language. Her eyes pop open.
KEZIAH: Who interrupts Keziah’s quiet time.

• A figure steps out of the shadows, and we see it’s Grimcraft. Somehow, he looks smaller and more wizened than the last time we saw him.

GRIMCRAFT: Mistress Keziah, forgive my impudence, but I would have a word with you.
KEZIAH: No.
GRIMCRAFT: No? What?
KEZIAH: I do not forgive you. Leave.
GRIMCRAFT: Please listen-

• Keziah stands up and grabs Grimcraft by his lapel.

GRIMCRAFT: I mean no harm or disrespect. We are cut from the fabric or reality. I can help you.
KEZIAH: You disrespect me by forcing me to breathe the same air as you. You are a withered old Buzzard and of use to no one. Leave my sight, now.

• Keziah throws Grimcraft into the darkness. We hear a loud thud and an “ow”.

3) Rhiannon over Candy Cotton. Candy seems listless and unfocused on the match.

4) Alexei Monstro and The Hard Way are out.
MONSTRO: The wrestling world wonders why Alexei Monstro is choosing not to face Slashmaster at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Some want the office to order me to take the match. I am not one who enjoys being dictated to. I will face Slashmaster at a time and place of my choosing. I call the shots. Slashmaster, when I choose to challenge you, you will know fear. The world also wonders if I’m happy with the progress of The Hard Way. First off, happiness is a weakness. Their successes and failures do not register with me as an emotion. They are a science project and no more. Their progress is….adequate. They are well aware that “adequate” won’t be enough, however. It’s in their best interest to win. Winning isn’t part of their collective background as their ridiculous former identities were amongst the biggest losers in XPW. They know the situation well. When they fail, I fail. I hate people who fail. Trip, Brick, you are where you are now for one reason only.
LAMBO/WINCHESTER: You Monstro.
MONSTRO: Do you want to go back to being nothing?
LAMBO/WINCHESTER: No Monstro.
MONSTRO: Do not fail me.

5) In a non-title match, Flint Decker and Zeta Quade defeat The Bizarre.

6) Cutie Pie is with Celestria
CUTIE PIE: Celestria, during your debut, the fans were given some background on you, but not a lot. Do you mind if we dig a little deeper into who Celestria is?
CELESTRIA: I appreciate your interest, what do they call you, CP? However, who I am is not important. I am indeed a warrior against the darkness, and I work alongside Mystic and Prof. When. As Mystic often says, it’s all about our mission. We are not here for the mundanities of this business unless they directly help us achieve our goal. The Mindbenders winning the tag titles did just that. My first assignment is Keziah. I realize I have to work my way to her, but if winning the XPW Ladies championship is what it will take to stop her evil, then I will win that title.
CUTIE PIE: You sound confident for someone who won one match. Already putting the champ on alert.
CELESTRIA: My confidence is dedication to my goals. I will do whatever it takes to achieve those goals. I speak this without doubt.
CUTIE PIE: She’s a newcomer to XPW, but she already putting herself into the thick of things. Let’s see what the future holds for Celestria.
CELESTRIA: It holds victory.

7) The Gold Club, Tarah Thompson and Carolina Strutter, win the XPW Ladies Championships from Autumn Hex and Winter Hex.

8) Pendragon over Bayonet.

9) Massive Gaines over Gridiron. Gaines will challenge Slashmaster in the main event of St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

[Thumper Moore III]

Chirpy Highlights

@acedogma
OOOO-WEEE!! Inject a Massive Gaines World Championship run straight into my veins!

@sevenstarzeta
From one set of weirdos to the next. Smart guys, prepare to get outsmarted, outwrestled, and outclassed.

@grimcrizzle
Old buzzard? Maybe so, but I’ll prove to everyone that I am still as crafty as ever... even if not so grim as I once was.

@2ndgenthompson
I couldn’t be prouder of my daughter, @3rdgenthompson, for winning the first gold in our family in 25 years. Love ya sweetie!

@nevermore
After Slash disposed of @massgaines, I suppose it’ll be on to Alexei? But Slash will crush them all. He’s an unstoppable force.

@smilefordominic
Teehee! I can’t wait to go nuclear on Mr. Atomic! And a weapons match! It’ll be... explosive. Teeheehee!!

[Thumper Moore III]

XPW Official BoobToob Channel

Massive Gaines’s unmistakable voice screams, “It’s my time! It’s Gaines time!”

A video highlight package plays of his greatest hits in XPW— winning tag team gold with Jackson Good, defeating GQ for the TV title, and his big run in March Madness last year.

We cut to Gaines, seated in front of a black background, wearing a business suit. “You know, they always said, ‘Gaines, you’re a tag team guy,’ or ‘Gaines, you’re not tall enough,’ or some other reason I couldn’t make it to the top of the world. All my shortcomings, all my failures, all my hardships... they were all false. All obstacles created by others to keep me from reaching my potential and achieving my dreams.

Well, doubters, here I am. I’m about to go out there and main event a P4V. I’m about to face arguably the best ever, the Slashmaster. I have a chance to be recognized as the greatest in the world, to etch my name on the pantheon of wrestling deities. Strutter. Lazer. Valedictorian. Brohan. HFK. Ace. Hunk. SAAAAAAAM-SOOOOOOON. Slashmaster. And, if I can get it done, Gaines.

It’s not gonna be easy. But NOTHING on my road here has been easy. Spending a lifetime in a gym, on the road, and in a ring comes down to THIS. MOMENT. Most guys don’t get this shot, and most that do only get it once. Now, I may stand or I may fall, but I’m gonna win that match or pass out trying.

So Slash, be prepared for the best Massive Gaines you’ve ever seen. Don’t take me lightly. Give me your best, because I’m giving mine. I’m gonna prove to the world— and to myself— that my name belongs next to yours.

[cotguy130]

February Week 4
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
Prince Charlie Hall

1) Mother Mercy and Brooklyn Belle defeat the Sky Diamonds.

2) Flint Decker and Zeta Quade defeat the Mindbenders to win the XPW tag team titles. Prof. When almost loses his cool in the face of the VIPs post-match taunting. Mystic looks surprisingly serene.

3) We pick up a conversation between Monstro and Nevermore.
NEVERMORE: Alexei, calm down. The decision to hold off on cashing in your title shot is a wise one. Now, if you’re waiting for the champion to be someone other than Slashmaster, it’s going to be a long wait.
MONSTRO: You think I’m ducking Slashmaster? If he is champion when I choose to cash in, then I will challenge him. My decisions are strategic on a level you can’t understand.
NEVERMORE: I’m sure you’re right, Alexei. I’m sure you’re right.

• Winter Hex walks up and takes Nevermore’s hand.

WINTER HEX: Are you ready, my love? Void wishes to commune with you.
NEVERMORE: Of course, darling. Till we meet again, Alexei.
ALEXEI: You two are together again? What does your sister think, Lady Winter?
WINTER HEX: My sister’s thoughts on any topic are as irrelevant as she is.

• They exit arm in arm.

4) In a weapons match, Donny Atomic defeats Slapstick. Despite all the weapons in the ring, Atomic uses Slapstick’s own sledgehammer against him to get the pinfall. Donny takes the sledgehammer to the floor after the pin and breaks the wooden handle by stomping it against the floor. When Slapstick finally recovers and retrieves his hammer, he just cackles at its condition.

5) In a cruiserweight title match, Grifter defeats Pendragon.

6) Massive Gaines is in the ring for his XPW title match when Rhiannon interrupts.
RHIANNON: Gaines, I know it’s been a while since we ran together as Blue Steel. I can see now that you and Jack were the only members worth a damn. Flint and Cyber Purple can go to Hell. I have a surprise for you. You know how Jackson’s been telling you he’s still got another month of rehab? He lied so he could surprise you. Come on out, Jack.

• Jackson Good enters and hugs Rhiannon who leaves. He runs to the ring and embraces his best friend.

GOOD: I’m baaaaack!! I’m here to watch my best friend take the title from the boogeyman!! Gaines, you got this. He’s only a man…who has likely committed multiple homicides. He hasn’t killed anyone in the business yet, so you should be good.
GAINES: Thanks, buddy. Real encouraging. Jackson Good got jokes again. Slashmaster is just a man, and as far as we know, he’s never killed anyone in ring. Seriously though, I know you got something to say to somebody.
GOOD: Cyber I-don’t-give-a-damn-what-color, I am going to run you out of wrestling. You cost me a year; I’m going to cost you a career. There’s nothing you can do, Cyber. It’s already over. You’re dead to XPW, but nobody knows it…yet.

7) Slashmaster retain the XPW title against Massive Gaines.

[Thumper Moore III]

Chirpy Highlights

@nevermore
If any of you were wondering: I have back my respect, and my woman. Yes, this is a redemption arc. And Slash is still your champion.

@massgaines
Well, now I feel kind of foolish doing that interview... NO. NEVER MIND. I don’t feel foolish because I’ve still gotten further than most, and I will have another chance.

@acedogma
MASSIVE. FREAKIN. GAINES. What an effort! You’re a world champ in my book, bro. Now, can I please beat up Cyber?

@smilefordominic
Teehee! Well done Donnie! You broke me and my mallet! Or did you just unleash something even more sinister?

@sevenstarzeta
If we lost, do you know what our waists would be? Naked. And although many of you would love to see that, you will never see our naked waists again.

@alexeimonstro
My time will come, I am patient, not cautious. Sun Tzu said to only fight when the battle has already been won. That time is coming.

[cotguy130]

March Week 1
BattleBrawl
Boston Arena


1) We open with a video of The Bizarre.
SILVERGOD: We are tired of being looked at like freaks. We are tired of being….forsaken. We followed Doomsayer through the fire, and when the flames were at their hottest, he deserted us. We found out when you did about his little sabbatical. Apparently, we weren’t worth the effort to tell before he told all of you. Doomsayer, return at your own risk. I offer the same advice to Gavin Stirling, sitting at home, or should I say, hiding at home. He’s not hurt. He just doesn’t want to be around when we’re around. I must agree with him, although I hate admitting it, about listening to Doomsayer. Gavin, keep in mind that while we were allied with Doomsayer when we attacked you, the hatred was very personal. I came to XPW to deal with our shared past, and I will finish that task. Forget the March Madness tournament. You want no part of returning to XPW. No trophy, no accolade is worth what the Forsaken and I will do to you should you be so foolish.

2) The Candy Shop is open for business.
COTTON: I hope this goes better than the show with Dre and the creepy box. What could go wrong with this guest?

• At this point, a tech runs out and tries to whisper something to Candy. She dismisses him.

COTTON: Whatever you have to say is not important. What is important is my guest, making his XPW debut, from the hardwood to the hard slams, ladies and gentlemen, SWISH!!!

• The man that walks out is Swish, but he’s not Swish. “Swish” is wearing an elaborate costume, robe, and headpiece.

COTTON: Not again. Why didn’t someone tell me? Oh, that’s what the guy trying to talk to me was saying? Tell him to be more assertive with news like this. So, I’m guessing you’re not Swish.
SOLOMON: I have been confused many times backstage for this Swish gentlemen. Aside from an odd name, he sounds like a great man. I must say that of all the people I ran into backstage, Xeno and The Argonauts seemed like brothers that I could be comfortable with.
COTTON: So you are….
SOLOMON: King Solomon! The wisest of all rulers. There are far too many pretenders here in XPW, and I’m here to dethrone them.
COTTON: So the game of basketball doesn’t mean anything to you?
SOLOMON: Of course, I love your game called basketball. A fine American game. I have started playing a little since coming to the States. I’m surprisingly good.
COTTON: I’ll be you are. Have you met with XPW officials to sign your contract?
SOLOMON: Indeed I have. There’s a funny story surrounding that office visit.
COTTON: Let me guess. You went in to sign your contract and they told you that you already had.
SOLOMON: Word travels fast backstage in XPW. I will remember that.
COTTON: In the case of what happened to you, it’s not a matter of word travelling fast. It’s a matter of we’re getting used to this. Thank you, King, for stopping by the Candy Shop.
SOLOMON: Don’t you have more questions?
COTTON: Yes. For Swish!!

3) Jakob Hearse over Kongo Kid.

4) The Champagne Room is open.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: This week, I will be doing something different. My guest, Gavin Stirling, is still recuperating from his home, so I will be interviewing him via closed-circuit. Gavin, welcome, the obvious question is “how do you feel”?
STIRLING: PC, thanks for giving me this time in a situation you aren’t used to. To answer your question, I can say that I am recovering nicely. However, I don’t know if it’s going to be enough to be back by March Madness.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: Did you hear the words of Silvergod to open the show?
STIRLING: I did, and I would love to be more impressed. He is right about an issue in our shared past, but the fact that he’s still letting this issue live in his brain after all these years is truly sad. It’s been settled. I settled it back then. If he needs that as motivation to fight me, so be it. I’ll fight him for the same reason you climb a mountain…because he’s there. Silvergod, Forsaken, listen closely. You better hope I make it back for March Madness. Any beating you get from me will be magnified by an order of 10 if I miss that tournament.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: Gavin, right now, what are the chances of you making March Madness?
STIRLING: 50/50 is the best I can do. It all depends really on how the next week goes.
PINK CHAMPAGNE: I know all the fans hope to see you there, and the tournament won’t be truly representative unless you are a part of it.
STIRLING: I hope so as well, PC. Thank you.

5) Donny Atomic over Mr. Europa

6) Alexei Monstro is out
MONSTRO: I have to give Nevermore credit. He is manipulator on the level of myself. Maybe Slashmaster threatened to pull somebody’s arms out of their sockets in the office. There’s no telling how they got what they wanted, but they did. The office is forcing my hand, and I will be challenging Slashmaster at March Madness. There may be some confused about why I’m upset at having a title shot. It’s the timing. I set my timing. I do what I want when I want, and I had chosen not to cash in my contract at this time. My reasons that don’t concern you. Nevermore laughably leveled charges of cowardice that shall go unanswered due to being unworthy of answers. All of that is aside. The future is the match is coming. Slashmaster, are you a fool? You know I see through your charade. Nothing about your character gives me the slightest pause. You’re an old man in a cheap Halloween costume. After March Madness, the world will no longer view you with awe and fear, but pity.

7) Jackson Good and Cyber Red fought to a double disqualification.
RED: Bunny boy, you knew this wasn’t going to be settled by a regular match, didn’t you?
GOOD: You know what, I don’t care about your gimmick any more. You can call yourself Cyber Puce for all I care. I’m talking to Chad now. The idiot in the costume.
RED: This coming from a guy who called himself Jackrabbit.
GOOD: I didn’t dress up like a rabbit. Chaddy, listen up. I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms, and you are, without a doubt, the most unliked person that I’ve ever known. Literally, no one like you. You dress in a closet.
RED: So? I don’t need anybody. I’m my own man. I don’t follow those “locker room rules”.
GOOD: Chad, the reason I fought so hard to come back had nothing to do with The Over Knights. Crazy, huh? I love Gaines like a brother, but I came back to put you out of XPW….forever. That’s my endgame, and it will happen. I’m not taking long either. I’m not stretching this out. You better tell your janitor pal goodbye.

• Good exits.

RED: Jackson Good, get back here. I’m not done. Don’t walk away while I’m-

• A furious and embarrassed Cyber Red leaves.

8) Autumn over Winter Hex.

9) Xeno walks out.
XENO: I am supposed to defend against Void again tonight, but you’ve all seen this match and I’m tired of fighting the puppet. Nevermore, get out here.

• Nevermore comes out,

XENO: It’s time to fight the puppet master, Nevermore. Why don’t you take a shot at this title? Void’s had too many shots already.
NEVERMORE: Void’s contender status has nothing to do with me. Talk to the office if you have issue with that. Void is no puppet. He chooses my partnership. I have consulted with Void, and he will relinquish his title shot to me. Xeno, you are no superhero, and we aren’t alien characters in movie. We’re flesh and blood. Your delusion is boring, and it’s time you were awakened.

Xeno retains the TV title versus Nevermore. Void attacks after the match, but Xeno fights him off.