Arizona’s BigSky Country Wrestling (ABCW Fed)

[Thumper Moore III]

March 1986 Week 2 (Stealing the segment numbering idea from cotguy)

1. The ring was set up to open the show with a gold-plated armwrestling table in the middle. Mr Tycoon walked to the ring— alone. “I’ve learned through a source that Devin Van Winkle has a bone to pick with me. Since the last time I saw him he left the arena with some stitches— bwahahahaha!!!— I thought I’d give him a chance to get some revenge. Not for my title of course, or in a match, but the big tough guy can try to arm wrestle me.” Van Winkle and his bandaged head obliged and ran from the back to take a seat at the table. Before they locked up, Van Winkle grabbed a mic. “If I win, I get a title shot.” Mr. Codger emerged from the curtain, and signaled a thumbs up. The two rasslers locked hands, and as Van Winkle almost had the win, Tycoon kicked under the table for a low blow on Devin, allowing him to win easily.

2. Lazer and Arizona Chance were backstage.
Lazer: “If Tycoon won’t give me a title shot, then I’ll earn a tag title shot with my buddy AC.”
Chance: “And you all know, nobody hunts gold better than Arizona Chance!”
The two would earn a title shot by beating the champs in a non-title match. Chicano and Yuppie barked at each other the entire way to the ring, and Big Boss Jr was trying to keep peace. The match heated up quickly, as the four combatants had no love lost between them. The stiffly conducted match ended when Lazer clotheslined Chicano to the outside and tumbled over the top with him, and Yuppie hit the Stock Market Crash on AC for the pinfall. The teams could not have responded more differently to the result. Chicano was upset with Yuppie because he got the pin, while Lazer checked on his teammate, helped him up, and told AC “We’ll get em next time.”

3. Mercenary emerged from the back, and then fog filled the entryway as the mysterious Zen met him in the ring, still cradling the package. He gave the package to Mr Bonsai for safekeeping. The match was not a technical masterpiece, but it took off when Mercenary went to the outside and threatened Bonsai. Zen went ballistic, and Mercenary got caught in the Triple Force for the pinfall. Zen immediately grabbed the package and ran to the back, presumably to protect the contents.

4. Honest Al was seen with microphone in hand by himself. “I’m here with the newest member of the ABCW, Mr— now where is he? Hey! New guy! Get over here!” Off camera, sounds of a scuffle were heard, and the only words that could be made out were “owes me money”, “blackjack”, and “royal flush”. The camera followed Al down a hallway, where a stagehand laid on the wreckage of a buffet table in catering. He only said one word before he passed out: “Ace.”

5. Chet Skye, fresh off his TV Title defense, faced Skullgore in the evening’s finale. The two wrestled a technically sound match, and Skye took the upper hand late. He ascended the turnbuckle for his Torpedo Dropkick, when Keith Blood emerged from under the ring to push Skye off the ropes. Skullgore capitalized with the Crossbone Body Block for the victory.

Results:
Mr. Tycoon and Devin Van Winkle arm wrestle 2*
Chicano and Yuppie VP def Lazer and Arizona Chance via pinfall 2*
Zen def Mercenary via pinfall 3*
Honest Al attempts to interview Ace of Spades 3*
Skullgore def Chet Skye 2*

[jirish780]

I just create this account to say that I’m really enjoying these write-ups, and keep them coming!

[Thumper Moore III]

March 1986 Week 3

1. The show began with Mr. Tycoon leading Chicano and Yuppie VP in a discussion in what appeared to be a boardroom. Tycoon and Yuppie were dressed in fine suits, while Chicano had on a Hawaiian shirt with enough gold chains to weigh down Mr. T. Tycoon began. “You two are the Tag Team Champs. You’ve got to figure out a way to set your personal issues aside and be good businessmen, like me.” Tycoon offered a highball glass with cognac to both; Yuppie declined while Chicano chugged it in one gulp. “There is strength in diversity ofvthought, of skills, and attitude. You two are great together, and the three of us are unstoppable.”

“Then why do we need the fourth guy? The loser? He can’t beat a guy half his size, and he’s the only one with no gold,” pointed out Chicano. “He’s broken, too. He couldn’t even get out of bed to be here.” Tycoon pondered this as the camera faded out.

2. Lazer came through the curtain, and screamed, “Maybe I just need a bigger partner!” Behind him plodded Kezzif, and arguably the two most popular men in ABCW went to the ring together to face the Gramercy Riffs. When Soul Daddy saw it was Lazer again after being embarrassed in his debut match, he made Johnny Kobra start off. Kobra got pummeled by both men, reached for a tag, and Soul Daddy left him hanging. Kobra are a Boulder Smasher to get completely squashed.

3. Mercenary had plenty of swagger, and was supremely confident before matching up with Magnus Muscle. Muscle spent most of the fight getting outwrestled, but stole a victory when Mercenary gloated before attempting a superplex, got shoved off the top, and got nailed with a flying shoulder tackle for the pin.

4. Skullgore cut a promo on Chet Skye, claiming he was not worthy to be in main events with himself and Keith Blood. He ran down Skye for his lack of size, lack of experience, and lack of friends.

5. The main event was a Cruiserweight Title match between The Piranha and Arizona Chance. AC took the fight to the Piranha early, and hit a top rope dive to the outside on the green guy. Piranha ran AC into the ring post, rolled him in, and nearly got a pinfall. AC regained the upper hand when he countered the Outlaw Choke into a stunner, and when he set up for the Last Crusade, he heard Chicano’s music. He turned his back to the Piranha, who recovered and slipped on the Outlaw Choke for the victory to retain his title.

Results:
Mr. Tycoon, Chicano, and Yuppie VP Trio Trash Talk 3*
The completely unfair team of Lazer and Kezzif def Gramercy Riffs 2*
Magnus Muscle def Mercenary 3*
Skullgore Dramatic Promo 3*
Piranha def Arizona Chance to retain Cruiserweight Title 3*

[Thumper Moore III]

March 1986 Week 4

The monthly PPV opened with Zen, seated on the floor, in what appeared to be the arena’s boiler room. He was cradling his package, treating it as a small child. Mr. Bonsai opened a door into the darkness and told Zen, “The time has come.” Zen nodded to Bonsai, and began feverishly tearing the wrapping away. Inside was a briefcase. Zen opened the briefcase slightly, which glowed from the inside. He quickly closed it, and walked with purpose into the locker room.

1. Magnus Muscle parlayed his winnover Mercenary into a TV Title opportunity against Chet Skye to open the show. Before the match, Skye expressed his disapproval at Mr Codger for having him jerk the curtain again. He then summarily thrashed Magnus in a very one-sided match, ending things with a Torpedo Dropkick. The obviously miffed Skye walked straight out of the arena, hopped in his car, and drove away still in his gear.

Back in the locker room, Zen showed the contents of the briefcase to Big Boss Jr. “Son, let me get this straight. The briefcase— and it’s lively, lovely contents—versus the world title? Let’s get Mr Tycoon. I think he’ll want to take a look at this.”

2. Back in the ring, Valley Girl issued a challenge to Princess Starbright for the next shot at the women’s title. Starbright answered that, basically, they were pretty much the only women in the company besides Gothica and Glam, so if VG could beat them, she’d earn a title shot.

3. Based on their trouncing of the Gramercy Riffs, Lazer and Kezzif challenged for the Tag Team Titles against Chicano and Yuppie VP. Lazer and Kezzif dominated Yuppie, much to Chicano’s delight. Yuppie poked Kezzif in the eye, allowing him to tag in Chicano. He baited Kezzif into charging after him, and when Chicano dodged, the huge man toppled to the outside over the top rope. Lazer came to the aid of his partner, wiping out Chicano at ringside, but no one was able to get back into the ring to beat the ten count. The fans booed as the match was declared a double count out.

Back stage, Tycoon took a look at the contents of the case. “You’ve got yourself a deal Zen. The case versus the belt, winner takes all.”

4. Terry Van Winkle was in the ring with a mic in hand. “Let me share something with you guys. You know my brother, Devin. Well, a couple weeks ago he was beating a much larger Mr Tycoon in an arm wrestling match, when he took a low blow. You haven’t seen him since, because that kick hurt more than just his pride. My brother... has lost a part of himself. A big, brass part of himself. The surgery was last week. He’ll make a full recovery, but still...” A tear trickled down Terry’s cheek. He continued, “Tycoon, I’d threaten to even the score, but if I ruptured both of yours it still wouldn’t measure up. So I’m going to make sure you lose something just as precious to you... your title, and then your wealth.”

5. Arizona Chance came down the ramp, and on his way to the ring, out of the crowd jumped a debuting Ace of Spades. He brutally beat AC to a chorus of boos, with the highlight being a power bomb onto the ring steps. He then jumped into the ring and threatened the shocked referee with bodily harm if the match was not started. The terrified ref signaled for the bell to ring, and Ace rolled AC in and hit his trademark Royal Flush for the win. The post match beat down was as hard to watch as the pre-match beatdown, with AC’s head being bashed against a turnbuckle about 5 times after he had been knocked out cold. The back emptied as it took about six wrestlers to pull Ace off AC, who was carried out.

6. A fog rolled down the ramp as Zen came to the ring, briefcase in hand and Mr Bonsai at his side. Tycoon entered after him, with the belt around his waist and Big Boss Jr in his corner. The two were fairly even despite a huge size difference, with Zen far quicker than his bigger opponent. Then Tycoon caught Zen in a side slam, and dominated the match for a long while. Zen fought out of a Money Maker attempt with a jaw breaker, and while Tycoon was stunned, Bonsai gave Zen a drink in a heart shaped container, which seemed to give Zen all of his energy back. He sprung to his feet, and hit tons of offense. He then saw Big Boss try to steal the briefcase and went after the rotund evil elf. He grabbed the briefcase back, but as he did the case flew open. A glowing glass sword flew into the air, and shattered on the arena floor. A devastated Zen rolled back in, and all of his energy suddenly seemed to leave. Tycoon slapped on the Money Maker, and Zen did not even fight being put to sleep.

Results:
Chet Skye def Magnus Muscle to retain TV title 1*
Valley Girl challenges Princess Starbright 2*
Tag Title Match: Yuppie VP and Chicano v Lazer and Kezzif Double Countout 2*
Terry Van Winkle Dramatic Promo 2*
Ace of Spades def Arizona Chance 2*
Mr Tycoon def Zen to retain World Title 2*

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1986 Week 1

In a health care facility somewhere near the Empire Arena, Lazer, Kezzif, and the Van Winkle brothers were visiting a hospital room which housed a still unconscious Arizona Chance, and a thoroughly depressed Zen. The doctor explained, “Arizona has been in and out of consciousness this week. He sustained a series of heavy concussions. It’s best right now to let him rest, and to avoid light and loud stimulus. Your other friend hasn’t said a word to anyone, or even eaten anything the entire week. It’s like he’s given up, but there’s nothing physically wrong.”

Lazer spoke for the group. “Zen, I’ll get Tycoon for you. Van Winkles, you’ve got the tag champs. And big guy— you go get Ace for Arizona. We’ve got to get them some revenge. I mean it!” Kezzif looked up from his snack upon hearing “I mean it,” and responded, “Anybody want a peanut?”

1. Johnny Kobra angrily looked up at Soul Daddy from his seat in the locker room. “You left me hanging last week. Show me you’re not the coward that abandoned his partner. And don’t worry, I talked to Codger. He scheduled you a pushover.” Soul Daddy went to the ring and awaited his opponent, who turned out to be Mike Bugg of the Insectoids. Soul Daddy got a huge grin on his face as Bugg headed out. SD began the match with a huge flurry of offense, culminating with an axe kick that popped the crowd. He lined up Bugg for a finish, but Bugg shuffled to the side and nailed a Cootie Shuffle, which was enough to stun Soul Daddy long enough for a surprise pinfall.

2. Lazer marched angrily to ringside and demanded Tycoon get ready for a match right now. Mr. Codger pulled back the curtain instead and asked Lazer to calm down, but Mr. Tycoon came in from the audience with a referee in tow and clocked Lazer from behind. The ref then rang the bell. Lazer quickly recovered from the sneak attack, slammed Tycoon several times, and hit three straight Lazer Splashes. Lazer screamed out, “This is for you, Zen!” He locked in the Lazerlock, to which Tycoon quickly tapped, but Lazer refused to release the hold. Codger, realizing his champion would be injured, grabbed a mic and promised Lazer a World Title shot at Champ Clash. Lazer let go, and left the ring with a measure of revenge.

3. Mercenary demanded a rematch against Magnus Muscle and got one. He again dominated the first half of the match, hitting his signature offense and countering any attempts from Magnus to stop the onslaught. Mercenary applies the Canadian Cloverleaf, but Magnus refused to tap, instead powering his way to the ropes. Mercenary went for the Cloverleaf again, but Magnus countered into a small package for the rollup victory. Mercenary went ballistic, tossing ringside chairs and destroying the commentarybtable in his rage.

4. Kezzif lumbered to the ring and awaited Ace of Spades. Ace tried to sneak out of the crowd like he did against Arizona, and like Tycoon did to Lazer earlier, but Kezzif turned and grabbed Ace in a choke, and then slammed him to the mat. The match continued for twenty minutes, with Kezzif landing brutal attack after brutal attack on Ace, never once trying for a pinfall. Kezzif hit the Boulder Crusher with fifteen seconds left in the time limit, then, instead of going for the cover, picked up Ace to hit another devastating finisher as time expired. He clearly was looking to put Ace on the shelf, but Ace pulled himself into a corner, battered and bruised, and laughed at the giant as he shooed him down the aisle.

5. Chet Skye defended his TV Title against The Annihilator. Chet had the match under control late, and then the lights went dark. When they came back on, Skullgore and Keith Blood had Chet surrounded... and they kicked Annihilator a couple times, forcing the ref to DQ Skye. Once the bell rang, they turned to Skye and beat him down to end the show.

Results:
Mike Bugg def Soul Daddy 2*
Lazer def Mr. Tycoon 3*
Magnus Muscle def Mercenary 3*
Kezzif and Ace of Spades Time Limit Draw 2*
Annihilator def Chet Skye via DQ 3*, Skye retains TV Title

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1986 Week 2

1. Chet Skye opened the action against Soul Daddy with Johnny Kobra in his corner. Skye cruised to an easy victory in a short match. After the match ended, the lights went out again, and Skullgore and Keith Blood were standing over a fallen Skye when the lights came back on.

2. Skullgore asked for a mic. “Ever wonder why the sky darkens at night? Why light gives way to darkness? It’s because the light can only hold back the dark for so long before it gives in.” He kneeled over thebfallen Skye as Blood looked on. “You, with your neon, are the light, Chet. You will eventually fall victim to the darkness. But, there is another option. Embrace the darkness. Allow yourself to be consumed by it. You should consider that strongly.” Blood then picked up Skye, and Skullgore delivered a Crossbone Body Block. He picked up the mic again. “Consider it.”

3. Lazer and Kezzif got a rematch with Chicano and Yuppie VP in a non-title match. Lazer quickly submitted Yuppie with the Lazerlock, but while that happened, Ace of Spades ran in and clobbered Kezzif directly on the kneecap, injuring the giant. Ace then used the chair on Lazer to take him out, then went back to the outside and wrapped the chair around Kezzif’s ankle, climbed the ring apron, jumped off and stomped the chair, leaving Kezzif in agony. Chicano and Yuppie invited Ace to join them in celebration, but Ace gave them both a one finger salute.

4. Ace grabbed a mic. “You guys make me sick. You run around with your little buddies, whether you cheat or not. You’re all cowards! Both of the lots of you! And I’m going to take you all out one man at a time. I took out Arizona, and now that big sack of crap with one leg. I hate when the house has the advantage, and you guys always have the number advantage. But not for long.” He dropped the mic and walked to the back, middle fingers in the air.

5. Mr. Tycoon walked to the ring with Big Boss Jr, after being told that he would be defending the World Title against a mystery opponent. Tycoon threatened legal action, but reluctantly took the match. His opponent emerged from the curtain and stood triumphantly in the rampway: Arizona Chance! His head was still bandaged from the attack at the hands of Ace, but he grabbed a mic. “I’ve got too many people who I owe a beating than I can count right now. So how about I start with you!”

Chance hit the ring a ball of lightning, pounding an off guard Tycoon in front of a red hot crowd. Every strike seemed to increase in magnitude, and he set up for the Last Crusade. However, Big Boss Jr smacked AC in the back of the head with his cane while the ref’s back was turned, causing AC to grab his head in agony. He dropped to his knees, and Tycoon was able to apply the Money Maker, to which the injured AC quickly tapped.

Results:
Chet Skye def Soul Daddy 1*
Skullgore Dramatic Promo 3*
Lazer and Kezzif def Yuppie VP and Chicano 2*, Kezzif injured
Ace of Spades Mic Spot 3*
Mr Tycoon def Arizona Chance to retain World Title, 3*

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1986 Week 3

1. Johnny Kobra spoke to Soul Daddy backstage. “We’ve got to get you off this losing streak if our tag team is going to take off. I’ve booked you a patsy today, so no worries.” Soul Daddy headed to the ring to face... Mark Bugg, who’s brothervscored a fluke win over Soul Daddy two weeks prior. Soul Daddy pounded on the clearly inferior Bugg and injured Bugg when he laid Bugg’s leg across the bottom rope and hit a top rope splash onto the leg. The ref threw up the X, signifying an injury had occurred. Soul Daddy moves in despite the ref’s protests, but the injured Bugg rolled up Soul Daddy for another loss.

2. A pre-recorded segment from Mr. Tycoon’s boardroom aired on the Jumbotron. Tycoon was seated, alone, in a high back leather chair behind a mahogany table. “So, your hero decides its more important to try to injure his opponent than to release a defeated opponent. How “heroic”. Well, I’ve used my considerable resources to ensure that doesn’t happen again.” The camera panned out to reveal three men in suits, carrying briefcases, at Tycoon’s side. He continued, “I’ve placed the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe on retainer. They will protect my rights at next week’s match for MY world title. If Lazer tries any funny business, he will be sued out of wrestling for good!”

3. A bandaged Arizona Chance and a concerned Lazer were already in the ring for a tag match against Yuppie VP and Chicano. AC told Lazer, “Don’t worry. Beat him next week, just not too badly.” In a back and forth match, AC scored a pinfall on Yuppie, hitting the Last Crusade while Lazer had Chicano in the Lazerlock.

4. Skullgore and Keith Blood came to the ring to talk with the crowd. “We know that Chet Skye is defending his TV Title next, so we’re going to get a front row seat for the next step in his descent into darkness. We will be joined by our new manager— and number one contender for the ladies title— Gothica.” The Queen of Darkness made her way to the ring and took a seat between Blood and Skullgore.

5. Chet Skye entered the entrance ramp, looking worried about the extra distractions at ringside. He stopped, and then waved out the returning Jessie Wild to accompany him to the ring. His opponent, Ace of Spades, entered the ring, and took advantage of a Keith Blood distraction to attack Skye from behind to start the match. Ace landed some offense and looked for the Royal Flush, but Skye escaped to the outside. However, he found himself surrounded by Blood and Gore, and Jessie Wild has to jump in with a double clothesline. Chaos ensued, and while the ref tried to break it up, Arizona Chance snuck into the ring and hit Ace in the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles, then hit the Last Crusade. Amazingly, Ace popped right back up, only to eat a Torpedo Dropkick from Skye for the pinfall.

Results:
Mark Bugg def Soul Daddy, Bugg injured 2*
Mr. Tycoon Dramatic Promo 3*
Arizona Chance and Lazer def Chicano and Yuppie VP2*
Skullgore, Keith Blood and Gothica mic spot 2*
Chet Skye def Ace of Spades to retain TV Title 2*

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1986 Week 4

1. In an excellent opener, Chet Skye defended his TV Title against Mercenary. The two combatants had a high energy match before a surprisingly pro-Mercenary crowd, probably due to the location being the Canada Centre. Mercenary did his best to get the crowd to turn on him, including spitting on a Canadian flag at ringside. When did that, Mr. Codger came to ringside, and told Mercenary he had gone too far. That distracted him enough that Skye hit the Torpedo Dropkick for yet another successful title defense.

2. Backstage, Honest Al stood by Arizona Chance. Chance was asked about his future plans. “Well, ya know something Honest Al, I’ve been talking with Lazer and Kezzif— miss ya big guy, get well soon— and we’ve decided there are some things that need to get taken care of around here. First, our buddies from Texas are going to rip the tag Title belts off the Two Stooges— stay tuned, they’re next! Then, Lazer is going to grab the World Championship off of the Monopoly Man. Then, next week, or maybe the week after that, I’m going to get my hands on the degenerate Ace of Spades. And when I do, after I’m through with him, he’ll be the two of clubs! And then I go get a title, cause no one finds gold better than Arizona Chance!”

3. Indeed, the Van Winkles headed to the ring to face the tag champs Chicano and Yuppie VP. The Van Winkles were on the same page throughout the match, while Chicano and Yuppie chirped at each other throughout the match. Even Big Boss Jr could not keep them on the same page. After Chicano powerslammed Terry, he mockingly told Yuppie to pin him and tagged him in forcefully. Yuppie stared down Chicano, which allowed the hot tag to Devin. He took out both men, and applied the Van Winkle Claw to Yuppie. Chicano was able to break up the Claw, throw Terry to the floor, and hit a Straight Edge on Devin for the win. After the match, Chicano grabbed BOTH title belts, and Yuppie chased after him.

4. The third title match of the night was a Cruiserweight Title match between the Piranha and Starboy. In the latest chapter in the longest running rivalry in ABCW, a winner is Starboy, who became the new champ with his Flying Cross Chop.

5. Princess Starbright defended her Ladies Title against Gothica, who was accompanied by Blood and Gore. Gothica showed in this match that as good as she is on the mic, she was as bad in the ring, botching several moves, including taking a huge bump on a second rope Dropkick that missed by a foot. The commentators tried to explain that she dodged and slipped, but it just looked bad. Starbright hit the Rainbow Connection shortly after that, and the match was mercifully over.

6. Mr. Tycoon entered, accompanied by Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. Lazer then came to the ring to a thunderous ovation. The match began slowly, then picked up pace, with Tycoon taking control after a missed Lazer Splash. Tycoon picked up Lazer in an airplane spin, and Lazer’s legs knocked out the ref. The “lawyers then entered the ring and beat down Lazer. They picked up Lazer, and Tycoon applied the Money Maker from behind while two of his hired thugs held his arms. Tycoon ordered the third thug to bash a Lazer with his briefcase, but Lazer slipped out of the way and Tycoon took a case to the face instead. Lazer then cleared the ring of the thugs, revived the ref, and applied the Lazerlock. The ref saw Tycoon seemed almost lifeless, and stopped the match, declaring Lazer the new champion.

Results:
Chet Skye def Mercenary to retain TV Title 3*
Arizona 1 on 1 with Honest Al 3*
Chicano and Yuppie VP def the Van Winkles to retain tag titles 2*
Starboy def the Piranha to become new Cruiserweight Champ 3*
Princess Starbright def Gothica to retain Ladies Title DUD!
Lazer def Mr. Tycoon to become new World Champion

[Smash]

Really enjoy your writing and look forward to more!

[Thumper Moore III]

Sept 19, 2018 21:14:50 GMT -5 Smash said:

Really enjoy your writing and look forward to more!

Thanks!! I’m currently deciding what to do next. The four month cycle so far has come to a fairly satisfying main event scene conclusion, and no one is doing a 90’s Fed right now, so I’m deciding whether to power through 1989 in my game.

I’m at a crossroads. I’m open to opinions— start over in 1990 or pick up where I left off, even though what I’m writing about happened three game years ago?

[Thumper Moore III]

Decision made— moving on with a reboot starting in 1990 since there’s a ton of guys I want to use from that era. Frankly, my Fed got a bit monotonous. Tycoon failed in an attempt to regain the title, and Lazer held the belt through 1988, where he briefly lost it to Great Ginzu, who lost to Arizona, who lost it back to Ginzu, who lost it back to Lazer.

The tag title never seemed to gain traction, with The Fellowship taking the belts off Chicano and Yuppie, and then it got traded between about ten different teams with only a couple reigns lasting more than two months.

The TV Title was my best belt story, passing every few months between Average Guy and Ace of Spades, who had a heck of a 50/50 feud going. The Cruiserweight belt was passed between Chet Skye, Arizona, and a random reign by Zombie Punk actually happened without the screwjob card. Weird.

The Ladies Title seemed to only get defended about twice a year, and Gothica and Valley Girl held it the entire time.

I’m in June 1989 now, so the full reset will happen once I get through the next few months.

[Thumper Moore III]

Jan 1990, Monday Night Live

The show opens with a face familiar to some, but new to ABCW, Mr. Fantasy. He is seated in an office behind a desk, with an updated ABCW logo behind him. “Welcome to the new and improved ABCW! For those of you who do now know me, my name is Vincent Kennedy Fantasy, and I am your new commissioner. Yes, the rumors are true that Mr. Codger was forced to retire for health reasons. It is rather impolite to run someone down upon their retirement, so I will remain silent at this time in regards to my evaluation of his performance. Changes needed to be made around here, and changes have been made. Out with the old, and in with the new. Over the coming weeks, you will see plenty of new faces, and plenty of old ones in new ways. You will appreciate the changes, the new faces, the new way of doing things. And withbme in charge, you will be sure to get the best product week in and week out. Enjoy the show.”

1. The show opened with a familiar face, Chet Skye. Out to the ring came a man announced as Vegas. The crowd immediately recognized Pelvis Pressley, but it appears that he lost a significant amount of weight, and has given up the Elvis impersonator act. His prospects for victory did not improve, as Skye landed a Torpedo Dropkick for a win.

2. Arizona Chance defeated Chicano in a very competitive match. Chicano got up after the match, and spoke directly into the camera. “Don’t worry about this week, chicos. Just wait till you catch up with my new buddies next week.”

3. Dizzy Lixx has changed his look to something more... gothic? He met up with a debuting Michael T Wolf, who obliterated Lixx in a fury of fur, saliva, and face paint.

4. Valley Girl defeated Gothica in a match which seemed straight out of 1986.

5. A Triple Threat ended the show between three fan favorites from the previous decade, Average Guy (who was wearing a paisley singlet for some reason), Lazer (who looked the same), and O’Hooligan, who wore an outfit that looked like he was an extra in the Highlander TV series. Lazer applied the Lazerlock to O’Hooligan for the win.

After the match, Mr. Fantasy emerged from behind the curtain. “Well done, guys. Great show. Why don’t you take next week off, and you can observe some of the new talent I’ve brought in? I think you’ll find it... compelling.”

[Thumper Moore III]

Jan 1990 Sports Entertainment

Once again the show opened with Mr. Fantasy behind his desk. “Now, before we start the show this week, I need to address some rumors. I’m sure some of you have heard from that upstart writer Dan Mixer and his Wrestling Viewer magazine that Mr. Codger is just taking a vacation, and plans to return soon. I assure you, I just got off the phone with Codger’s assisted living facility, and he is completely incapable of running a wrestling company. He’s also not healthy enough.” Fantasy paused for what he thought would be laughter at his sick burn, but was instead greeted with crickets. “Regardless... enjoy this week’s show, which will showcase new talent brought here by yours truly, Vincent Kennedy Fantasy.”

1. The crowd gasped as the world famous face of Dude Brohan filled the video screen. The camera panned out to reveal a state of the art gym, with Brohan spotting Big Rig on bench press. “Hey brother, nice set. Ready to take ABCW by storm? And by storm, I mean the kind where I eat thunder and crap lightning! Whatcha gonna do, ABCW, when the Dude and Big Rig run wild on you?!?”

2. The current tag champs, the Van Winkles, walked to the ring for a match against Vegas and a mystery partner. The boys from Texas were scared by their own pyro in their entrance; apparently Mr. Fantasy forgot to tell them. Vegas’s mystery partner turned out to be Ezekiel, who the fans thought bore a striking resemblance to hateable loser Soul Daddy. Vegas stretches his record to 0-2 after eating a Van Winkle Claw, but Ezekiel looked very strong in his debut, as if the gimmick change worked. He quoted the Bible after the match: “Micah 7:8– rejoice not over me, my enemies; for when I fall, I shall rise.”

3. A masked luchador seemed genuinely excited to be in ANCW as he made his way to the ring, announced as Magnifico. A masked man in a straitjacket was led to the ring under a hood by two police officers. They loosened the straitjacket, and pulled off the hood, the reveal Keith Blood... but there was a new, crazed look in his eye. He flung himself across the ring before the bell rang, and tore at his opponent animalistically. Magnifico was able to create some space and landed some spectacular lucha offense, but it seemed to do little to slow down the new and improved Kannibal Keith, who won by referee stoppage when Magnifico was no longer able to defend himself. The police officers entered the ring and tazed Keith to subdue him long enough to get the hood and jacket on, and he was led from the ring.

4. The sound of a lone gong filled the arena, which went dark. From low lighting and fog on stage emerged a solitary figure, who walked slowly to the ring. The audience had no idea what they were seeing, but their hushed anticipation showed they were into it. As organ music swelled, the lights slowly came back on, and in the ring was the Undermaster. Mic in hand, he slowly drawled, “Welcome... to my ring. My show. My yard. My house. My graveyard of souls. When the Undermaster speaks... (he pointed to the curtain) you all need to listen. And if any of you want to prove me wrong, come on out and show me.”

The call was answered by Dr. B, who strode confidently to stand toe to toe with the Deceased Beast. He got up in Undermaster’s face, and said, “I pity the fool that thinks they own this ring. Some nights, I own it. Some nights, Lazer owns it. Some nights it’s Arizona, or Average Guy, or Ace, or O’Hooligan. Guys that have paid their dues here. Guys who have a history here. You think you’re gonna just stroll in and claim something that belongs to guys who’ve built this for a decade? Not today, pasty, not today.”

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Exotic Rick smashed Dr. B with a chair, laying out the big man. “You should’ve listened to Fantasy and taken the week off, big guy,” Rick said with a smirk. He then stood over Dr.B’s body and did a few pelvic thrusts.

5. In the main event, to determine Lazer’s challenger at the upcoming PPV, Dark Mauler defeated Orion Northstar with the Dark Menace. Fans were into the match even though the gimmicks were like nothing they’d ever seen, and Mauler’s face paint caused a couple fans to pass out.

[Thumper Moore III]

Jan 1990 Weekend Attitude

Mr. Fantasy opened this week’s show from behind his desk, as is his custom. “ABCW fans, I know you liked what you saw last week. Now, I’ve received dozens of letters (which he was brandishing as if they were hundred dollar bills) telling me so. I’ve only received one letter opposing what’s being done, and it was anonymous... but it’s postmark is from “Shady Palms Retirement Home”, so I bet you can guess that it’s just the ramblingsvof an out of touch old man. Thank you for your support, and enjoy the show.”

1. Ezekiel destroys Teeny Norman in his first singles match under the new gimmick, finishing with Divine Intervention. Ezekiel again quotes the Bible on the way out. “Joshua 10:8– Do not be afraid of them, for I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you.”

2. Magnifico enters through the arena crowd. “Orale, ese! Amigos, you know that I would have won my debut match if that terrible ref had let my match continue! So, I brought a buddy with me this week— they call him Dragonfly!” Dragonfly ran through the crowd, backflipped off the railing, and landed on the ring steps. “Who’s got two thumbs and is going to be your Mr. Monday Night? This guy!”

3. Chicano came to the ring and introduced his tag partner, Big Rig. They wrestled Howl and Roar to a surprising 20 minute time limit draw. Big Rig and Chicano hit their finishers simultaneously on Wolf and Leo, but time expired as the pinfalls were beginning.

4. Honest Al was backstage with Dude Brohan. Everyone together— how does this interview start?
“Well, you know somethin’ Honest Al, there’s a bunch of little Dudesters wondering why I came to ABCW. There’s a bunch of little Lazers wondering the same thing. Now, the Dude has nothing but respect for Lazer, Average Guy, and the guys that built this company. I think there’s plenty of room for little Dudesters and little Lazers to coexist. There’s room for Dude’s 23 inch pythons and Lazer’s... slightly smaller pythons to both pump iron. But, if the Dude wins the Battle Royal next week, then I’m coming for his title, and may the best dude win. So, there’s a big question I have for whoevervstands in my way: Whatcha gonna do when Dudeamania runs over you?!?”

5. Average Guy successfully defends his TV Title against Exotic Rick via the Average Elbow. Rick seemed to call for help near the end of the match, and through the curtain came Undermaster... who was brawling with Dr. B. Average Guy used the distraction to his advantage and nailed his finisher.

[Thumper Moore III]

Jan 1990 Battle Royal

1. The first PPV of the new decade began with a tag title match between the Van Winkles and Howl and Roar. Chicano and Big Rig sat at ringside, with the promise from Mr. Fantasy of a title shot against the winners. After a short match with very little action, Devin Van Winkle finished off Wolf with the Van Winkle Claw. Very disappointing match from four talented competitors. After the match, Chicano and Big Rig presented the titles to the Van Winkles by smashing them into their faces. They then smirked and walked away.

2. Two ladies debuted against each other, with Bombshell facing off against Femme Fatale. Bombshell stood no chance, as she seemed to run around the ring in slow motion. She ate a Femme Fatality after a short but entertaining comedy match.

3. Honest Al interviewed 2-Zap, who freestyled some rhymes about how he should have been in the Battle Royal.

4. Lazer defeated Dark Mauler via the Lazerlock in a clean finish to a solid but unspectacular match.

5. The Battle Royal involved the following competitors (Same line entered together):
Dude Brohan, Chicano, Big Rig
Iron Mask, Cobalt Commander
Undermaster, Exotic Rick
Magnifico, Dragonfly, Masakari
Dicky Thunderbird, Average Guy, Arizona Chance
Freedom Fighter, Magnus Muscle, Chet Skye
Reptile Ranger, Orion Northstar
O’Hooligan
Dr. B, who seemed shocked that he was getting cheered.

Chicano, Big Rig and Brohan quickly eliminated Mask and Cobalt, and then picked off Ranger and Northstar. Magnifico came flying off the top and hit a huracanrana that sent Brohan flipping over the top in a shock elimination. Big Rig then grabbed Magnifico and tossed him into the second row of the audience. Undermaster and Rick teamed up on Dr. B, who took a huge beating in the match, but hung tough. Rick and Undermaster went for a double clothesline to eliminate Dr. B, but he ducked, pulled down the rope, and the crowd went nuts as he eliminated both at the same time. However, Chicano and Big Rig grabbed him from behind and flipped Dr. B out, and as they turned around, Average Guy, Arizona, and Thunderbird Triple clotheslined Chicano and Big Rig over the top.

Freedom Fighter ousted O’Hooligan, and Arizona thought he eliminated Dragonfly, who landed on the barricade, leaped back to the ring apron, and duplexes Arizona to the outside, then ducked a punch from Skye and pulled him over the top before Average Guy hit an Average Elbow to send Dragonfly to the floor. Magnus Muscle stupidly attempted a top rope move to a standing opponent, and got crotched on the turnbuckle, leading to an easy elimination for Freedom Fighter.

This left Average Guy, Freedom Fighter, Dicky Thunderbird, Masakari and O’Hooligan. AG and Dicky went after Masakari, while FF and O’Hooligan went after each other. Masakari hit a standing side kick on AG, which allowed him to roundhouse kick Dicky over the top. AG reached for Dicky to try to keep him in, and Masakari used his momentum to send AG over the top. Meanwhile, FF gained the upper hand and gorilla pressed O’Hooligan out. Masakari went for a flying kick as FF turned around, but FF ducked and hit Masakari with the Haymaker of Justice as he flew past, sending him over the top for the win!

Mr. Fantasy presented Freedom Fighter with a huge trophy, and a contract for a World Title Match at a time of his choosing.