Cotguy's WoW

[cotguy130]

Aug 28, 2018 8:08:05 GMT -5 Thumper Moore III said:

Well done. I’m impressed with the sheer volume of what you’ve done, as well as the great content. It feels like I’m reading one of Bleacher Report’s recaps. How do you manage to do so much so quickly? I’m lucky to get one week written every 2-3 days.

BleacherReport and the Observer were the inspirations for my recap style.  

My job has a lot of downtime where I can do small personal things on a computer while waiting for the next thing I have to tend to.  That's where the time comes from.  Plus,  once I get an idea for an angle or story line advancement,  I have to play it out and get it recorded or my old brain will forget it. 

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 7/5/80
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
1043/31/**

1. The latest legend to sign with WoW, Average Guy, is in the ring being introduced to the fans. They are loving his antics in the ring as he talks about his excitement at being part of WoW. He says that it’s amazing he and Mr. Fantasy could get along since he worked for the main rival promotion for so long, but Mr. Fantasy loves money and Average Guy is money. Square dance music begins playing and Cletus Mullet comes out. He do-si-dos with Guy a couple of times, and dances around the ring as Guy looks on amused. Guy asks him what the fuss is about, and Cletus says he won his first match a few weeks back and he can’t stop celebrating. Guy asks how many matches he’s won since and Cletus says “well, zero.” Guy asks how many matches he had before winning his first one, and Cletus says “well, a lot”. Guy asks if Cletus can pick this up later so he can finish up what he had to say to the fans. Cletus says it’s not talking time, it’s hoedown time. Guy gets serious and asks Cletus to leave, to which Cletus replies “make me, fat boy”. He tells Guy that he feels like cutting a legend down to size right now. Guy asks if he wants a match right now, and Cletus says “Hell, yea”. Guy asks for a ref and one quickly shows up. Guy asks the ref if he wouldn’t mind making a three-count after I teach this fella some manners. The ref replies that it would be his pleasure to count a pinfall for a legend. Cletus starts to say “that’s not fair- “when the ref calls for the bell. Guy toys with him for a bit before putting him away with the Average Elbow. When we comeback from a break, Cletus is just waking up. He tells the crowd that he just proved the legend of American Guy ain’t so tough, and next week he’s bringing somebody from home that will teach the Guy how they fight in the country.

2. In a trio’s match, Haka Tonga, Zen, and the debuting Chameleon Kid beat Auntie Voodoo’s crew of Skullgore and Ghoul & Goblin.

3. The B-Boys continue to keep The Metalheads from moving up the ranks with another win.

4. Princess Starbright over Gothica.

5. Rad Racer over Officer Chip.

6. Troglo over Moon Man with the Prehistoric Piledriver after a shot from the saxophone with Piranha distracting. Star Boy, who hadn’t been at ringside, ran out, grabbed the sax, and bent it in two over Troglo’s back. The shot barely registered with Troglo, but as soon as he saw his destroyed sax, he grabbed it and sat in the corner crying. He cradled it like a baby. A disgusted Piranha tried to get him to help, but Troglo ignored him. Next, Star Boy and Piranha got into it. Several refs came down to break it up. Mr. Fantasy came out, ordered all the refs but one out of the ring, and said that he was making this an official match.

7. Piranha won the impromptu-but-official match by putting away Star Boy with the Outlaw Choke. This came after Troglo, who had apparently gotten over his grief, blasted SB with the folded-in-half saxophone while Piranha distracted the ref.

8. Enormous Pierre over Johnny Kobra. Pierre’s style seemed slightly more aggressive than normal. By the end, parts of the crowd could be heard cheering for Kobra’s weak attempts to fight back.

9. Ninja successfully defended the Cruiserweight Title against Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 7/13/80
Boston Arena
Sold Out
710/35/**

1. In the first match, Valley Girl gets an upset win over Lyndi Harker.

2. Keith Blood, in a rare solo appearance, defeats Zombie Punk. Blood is injured during the match, but refuses medical attention. Gothica signals to the back and Slashmaster comes out. He sends the medics scattering, and helps Blood get to the back.

3. Supernova over The Neanderthals. Troglo is carrying the bashed-up saxophone. Howl n’ Roar come out after the match. Leo says that he wants to give Supernova a title shot since they’ve beaten the Neanderthals, and Mr. Fantasy handed the Neanderthals an undeserved #1-contendership just for acting like animals on National TV and making a few people laugh at pro wrestlers. Moon Man thanked him. A furious Mr. Fantasy came out and said there would be no match of the sort. Supernova haven’t done anything to deserve it. Moon Man says we beat your self-proclaimed #1-contenders. Fantasy says that if I proclaim anybody to be anything, then it becomes your reality. I don’t make mistakes. There’s a reason for everything I do, and you better be grateful. My leadership keep WoW the money-making machine it is. When I make money then you make money. He tells them not to question his leadership again. He turns to Leo and says that there’s a team that I’ve been negotiating with. Because you are unable to work as a team in this corporate environment, I’ve decided to sign them. Not only that, they will debut at Red, White, and Blue Bash in a title match. Not only that, you will find out who they are when they come through the curtain. Don’t ever question me again.

4. In a three-way match to determine a #1 contender for the Cruiserweight championship, Haka Tonga defeated O’ Hooligan and Officer Chip. Predictably, O’ Hooligan and Chip cooperated for much of the match. When O’ Hooligan made a move to take advantage of Chip, Haka took advantage of the opening and got the pinfall. After the match, O’ Hooligan attacked Haka. Chip did not participate. O’ Hooligan shouted that Haka would never get a title match, much less win one, as long as he had anything to say about it. He said Haka was joke the first time I bashed in your head, and you’re a bigger joke now because you’re too stupid to understand that you’re finished in the business.

5. A commercial for the Red, White, and Blue Bash aired next. Arizona Chance and Big Thuggee were interviewed about their upcoming title match. Chance said he wanted to put a chain around BT’s neck like BT did to him, so it would be a dog-collar chain match. L’il Thuggee and The Mad Arab were banned from the building. We cut to a sit-down with Pat Cabbage. He talks about what the recent run, and about what the fans have dubbed Cabb-O-Mania. He says that he’s going to make an open challenge at the Bash and see who answers. At this point, he’s confident that he can handle anybody. When we come back live, the announcers give us an update on Cabbage. They tell us that right after that interview was shot, Pat Cabbage was summoned to Mr. Fantasy’s office. Whatever message he was given by the courier did not make Pat happy, as he stormed out of the production studio.

6. The Executers get a win over the Neon Express in a spectacular bout.

7. The Mad Arab over Red Pirate Rogers.

8. Enormous Pierre called Dude Brohan to the ring. He said that at the Bash, there would be a special presentation of O’ Hooligan’s Pub, and that he had some special things to tell Brohan. Brohan said if they’re so special, don’t wait. Pierre said this is my deal, not your’s. You don’t set the rules around here like you seem to think. Brohan said that I don’t deal with that coward O’ Hooligan. Let’s do it on the Reptile House. Pierre repeated, my deal, my rules. If you don’t show up on the Pub, I will find you and drag you there.

9. Jet Set Strutter, with the Thinker, finally gets a win over Ninja Star, with Mr. Bonsai, but it took a submissions-only stipulation to get it done.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 7/19/80
Golden Plaza
Sold Out
1010/34/**

1. O’ Hooligan and The Thinker are with Rex Spectrum. Rex asks if the Pub at The Red, White and Blue Bash will be as big a deal as Pierre told Brohan it would be. Both men agreed that, if anything, he was understating it. O’ Hooligan did promise that he was strictly there to open the Pub for business. What happens between Pierre and Brohan is their deal, and he wants no part of it. The Thinker adds that the people are going to find out a lot about their hero Brohan that might make them sick. By the time this is over, he will be the most hated man in wrestling.

2. Average Guy was in the ring cutting up with the fans while waiting for his opponent. Cletus Mullet comes out. Guy laughs and asks him if he really wants to do this again. Cletus said the he doesn’t, but his big brother is ready for a fight. He brings out Zeke Mullet, a much more physically impressive member of the family. Guy looks a little more impressed. When it comes to wrestling ability, Zeke isn’t a lot better than his little brother, and Average Guy wins with relative ease.

3. In a three-way between Skullgore, Dungeon Crawler, and Slashmaster, Auntie’s man comes out on top. Both ladies were ordered to leave the ringside area before the match began. Slashmaster beat up Dungeon Crawler after the match.
4. Wall Street over The Neon Express.

5. Rad Racer over GoblinKnight. Zombie Punk comes to attack Racer, but Crash makes the save.

6. In another new talk show, newcomer Teeny Norman debuts Teeny’s Playhouse. The crowd doesn’t know what to make of Teeny or his first guest, The Schmuck. Schmuck proceeds to declare his superiority to every other wrestler…on the ladies’ roster. He says that if these women want to get out of the kitchen and the laundry room, which is where they belong, and wrestle, then they need to wrestle everybody. They don’t wrestle men because they are inferior. At this point, Teeny gets scared and tells The Schmuck to leave. He doesn’t want a bunch of angry girls tearing up the playhouse. The Schmuck says to bring them. He will beat them all.

7. The B-Boys beat the Insectoids.

8. The Queen of Mean and Valley Girl are in the Reptile House. They start to talk about The Queen’s title reign when Valley Girl throws a fit and starts screaming about the Schmuck. She says she will wrestle the Schmuck any place, any time. The Queen agrees that Val would take the Schmuck apart. The Ranger agrees as well, although he express concerns about Schmuck’s wanting to wrestle women. The Queen says that he won’t hurt us, and Ranger says that he’s worried about them hurting him. Val says that something he should be worried about.

9. Mr. Fantasy comes out. He says that Pat Cabbage has been pulled from the Bash, and tonight’s defense against Star Boy will be his last “pending an investigation”. He tells the crowd that it’s WoW business and none of theirs. As Fantasy leaves, Cabbage is coming down the aisle. Cabbage stares him down while Fantasy just gives him a nasty smirk. In the match itself, Cabbage defeats Star Boy. Afterwards, he tells the crowd that he’s not allowed to talk about the situation or he will lose his job. That being said, he tells them that he will be back soon as champion because everything going on is-And his mic goes dead. Fantasy comes out and tells Cabbage to get the Hell out of his ring or will be fired on the spot. Cabbage leaves the ring, jumps the rail, and disappears nito the crowd.

[cotguy130]

Red, White, and Blue Bash 7/27/80
Fairgrounds
Great Crowd
1283/39/**

1. As in illustration of his bizarre “sense of humor”, Mr. Fantasy presents the team of Brit Buckingham and Hammerhead, the Anti-Americans, as the mystery challengers to the Tag Team Title. After a solid match, the champions retain. Fantasy comes back out and tells everyone that the Anti-Americans will get more chances, so they shouldn’t be bothered by this setback. Leo asks if this type of thing, as well as the mistreatment of Pat Cabbage, is the kind of thing we can expect from Fantasy from now on. Fantasy says the only thing you can expect from me is the unexpected, as long as the unexpected puts a fat stack of cash in my wallet.

2. In a three-way to determine a #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Championship, Pelvis Presley defeats Star Boy and The Piranha.

3. It’s time for O’ Hooligan’s Pub. Pierre and Brohan sit on barstools face to face. As promised, O’ Hooligan stands completely out of camera range once he introduces the guests. Pierre shows a video of all the times he felt like Brohan was rude to him. Brohan said that they had talked about those things. They were all accidents, and Brohan has apologized. Pierre has accepted, and they were behind them. Pierre said they were no longer behind them, and he took back his acceptance of the apology. He feels every incident was calculated to embarrass him and make Brohan look good. Brohan asks what this is really all about. Pierre calls in the Thinker. Brohan says he should’ve suspected something. The Thinker said that he had a forensic scientist review every clip, and in every one a subject-matter expert was able to show exactly where Brohan’s intent was. He dumps a 6-inch think bound stack of papers on the bar and says this is his report. Brohan reaches for it and Pierre slaps his hand away. Thinker says that’s not the most damning evidence however. He shows a clip of the end of the Pierre-Tycoon TV title match where the final pin on Pierre was obviously suspect. Brohan says that this was obviously a mistake on the ref’s part, and he feels bad for Pierre, but he wondered what it had to do with them. Thinker produces 2 papers which he hands to Brohan. He says Mr. Fantasy has copies. Thinker says that he will summarize. These are sworn affidavits from Tycoon and the referee in that match, who you will notice as not been seen since, swearing that Brohan paid them to participate in a screwjob on Pierre. He was ripped off because Brohan couldn’t stand the thought of Pierre holding a belt. Brohan said these docs were BS. He and Tycoon can’t stand one another so he would swear to anything to hurt Brohan. The ref in question has already given notice and was leaving to go back to college. Pierre said that Brohan would say anything to save face. Brohan jumped up and said he’s had enough of this railroad job. Suddenly, O’ Hooligan waffled Brohan from behind with the giant report. He, The Thinker, and Pierre all shook hands. They were joined by Jet Set Strutter. Pierre asked O’ Hooligan if he mind if he did a little redecorating. O’ Hooligan said it was in his plan anyhow. Might as well start now. Pierre picked up Brohan and press-slammed him into the bar which splintered into pieces. Pierre said it was finally time he found out who his real friends are.

4. Standing in the remains of the Pub set, O’ Hooligan says that Cruiserweight Title match is next. However, the challenger, Haka Tonga, is, yet again, injured. Actually, he’s retired. He just doesn’t know it yet. Ninja Star comes out. O’ Hooligan says who better to take an injured guy’s place than the guy who injured him. Mr. Bonsai says that WoW doesn’t reward evil deeds. Ninja Star says that he wants O’ Hooligan anyhow. Star goes on to defend the title successfully, but afterwards, he takes a beatdown from The Think Tank, Pierre, Jet Set Strutter, and O’ Hooligan.

5. In order to settle the crowd down, The Neon Express go out amongst them and sign autographs, hug the ladies, and dance with the kids. It goes over well.

6. In the Dog-Collar Chain World Title match, Arizona Chance retains against Big Thuggee in short order. Chance is focused, and BT really doesn’t have a chance.

[branana06]

Good job on sticking to the fed! Lots of people stop after about three months if not less so props for commitment.

[branana06]

Aug 28, 2018 8:09:19 GMT -5 cotguy130 said:

Aug 27, 2018 23:22:27 GMT -5 branana06 said:

Wait a second, is Mighty Leo morphing into Samson?!!!!

 That didn't even occur to me!!  I mean,  it was a Goldberg reference, but I forgot we had "Goldberg"  down the road.  Maybe in ten or so game years I will say that a young-er Samson was at this show and got inspired.  

If you go ten game years posting your fed on here, you will be the GOAT of 80s Mania Wrestling Returns.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 8/2/1980
Empire Gardens
Sold Out
1340/31/**

As soon as the show’s intro fades, we hear the announcers are agitated about something going on in the back. We cut to a prone Arizona Chance lying face down on the concrete with this personal bag next to him. The bag is open, bit instead of being unzipped it’s as if somebody cut it from the side. Clothes are partially spilled out of the new opening. Officials and medical personnel are tending to the downed champion. We go back to the arena are told that any updates will be passed on immediately.

1. The Anti-Americans open with a win over The Insectoids. The A-A spew anti-American invectives throughout the match.

2. Mandonna and Zen go to a 10-minute time-limit draw.

3. Reptile Ranger and Red Pirate Rogers are announced for the next match. Their opponents are the Slave Drivers and the Mad Arab. Big Thuggee taunts them about the missing Arizona Chance. Ranger said that he’s on his way to the hospital and the Thugs and the psychopath are the ones that put him there. BT said that he knows The Ranger and the Rangerettes won’t believe him, but he and his team had nothing to do with the attack on Chance. He would, however, like to shake the hand of the man who did take him out. Before Ranger could respond, BT said that instead of talking they should be fighting since that’s what the people want, and everyone know you guys care so much about these pathetic fans. BT asked if they were ready for a handicap match since none of his guys were stepping aside. Ranger started to say that he and Pirate weren’t worried when Dude Brohan’s music played. He came out and asked Ranger if they mind if he took the third spot. He said he owes these guys for when they jumped him a few weeks ago. BT says that they aren’t going to deny that was them. They wanted to cost Brohan the belt and it worked. Brohan remind him that he came well short against Chance already, and he, like the others, doesn’t believe they aren’t responsible for the attack on Chance. Brohan then slugs BT and the match is on. The Brohan/Pirate/Ranger team picks up the win.

4. In a ladies’ match where both competitors were making their debut, Madam Tiki crushes Chaka Crass.

5. Teeny Norman over Officer Chip. Chip had no clue what to make of Norman, and his confusion lead to his defeat.


6. Average Guy over the Piranha. Piranha tried to order Troglo to attack Guy, but the two end of dancing together until Guy blasts Troglo with the Average Elbow. As he’s leaving the ring, Guy is heard to comment about doing what he can to “get him some real competition”.

7. Star Boy over Chameleon Kid.

8. Pierre the Enormous, with the Thinker, destroys Crash. Pierre is definitely more aggressive than in the past.

9. Ninja Star, with Mr. Bonsai, successfully defends the Cruiserweight title against Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 8/10/80
Golden Plaza
Decent Crowd
1080/34/***

1. Tonight’s show opens with a three-way in which Star Boy defeats The Piranha and Ninja Star in a non-title match. Mr. Fantasy comes out and says that even though the match wasn’t stipulated as such, he’s declaring Star Boy the #1 contender based on this match.

2. Valley Girl over Glam. Afterwards, Valley Girl complains because The Schmuck hasn’t answered her challenge.

3. Wall Street over Nerd Alert.

4. The Slave Drivers over The Stunt Men. Ranger and Pirate come out. They tell Big Thuggee to admit he and his crew attacked Arizona Chance last week. BT denies it again. Ranger and Pirate act like they’re going to attack 2-on-3. Mr. Fantasy comes out. He says that before Ranger and Pirate do something stupid and get themselves hurt, he has a comment. He can vouch for The Slave Drivers and Mad Arab last week as they were with him at the time of the attack. BT says that Ranger owes him an apology. Ranger says it will be cold day in Hell before he apologizes. The Thugs are such scumbags that they support the attackers’ actions. They don’t deserve the respect an apology infers.
5. Reptile Ranger remains in the ring for the next match against Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr. The Slave Drivers distract the ref and Ranger allowing Presley to KO him with the guitar. The ref turned, saw Presley covering an out Ranger, and counted the pin. Presley shouted at Ranger’s downed form that “his stupid, slimy critters don’t belong in wrestling”.

6. Auntie Voodoo comes out and calls out Gothica. She says the ‘Witch War’ between them bores her, and she wants it behind her. Gothica replied that it becomes boring when she decrees it and not a second earlier. Auntie said that what she’s about to say is what the mortals call an ultimatum. Gothica’s opinion is irrelevant. All that matters is her response, and Auntie doesn’t want a reply right now. She wants Gothica to have to stew in it. One more match, with the loser bowing to the winner and declaring her “the Queen of Darkness” in WoW. Gothica started to speak and Auntie threw her hand up. “Take your time…it’s only your complete and total self-worth on the line”.

7. Zen over Skullgore.

8. Arizona Chance is sitting in an interview area alone. He says he doesn’t want questions because, right now, he has no answers. He has no clue who took him out. However, there’s one thing the fans don’t know. Whoever took him out took the WoW championship belt. He holds up the damaged gym bag and shows them the cut. The belt was in this bag. They took nothing else. He says he automatically assumed it was The Slave Drivers and The Arab, but he back-checked Mr. Fantasy’s story and they were with him. Now, he’s back at square one. Mr. Fantasy is leading his own investigation, as the belt is WoW property. Chance says he’s never been big on material things, but what the belt symbolizes is what’s important. He’s got a defense against Brohan coming up, and he wants to face him with the physical belt in his possession. Brohan was gracious in defeat, and Chance wants the rematch to be an honorable one. He asks whoever has it to return it, and he will give them a title shot-no questions asked.

9. In a WoW tag team title match, Howl n’ Roar successfully retain against The Executers. The Anti-Americans come out and start arguing with H n’ R as the show ends.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 8/16/80
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
1158/32/**

1. The Average Guy gets an easy win over Mandonna. He asks for the mic. Guy asks if the fans would like to see him against better competition. They roar their approval. He says the only person who doesn’t agree is Mr. Fantasy. He keeps feeding Guy all these underneath wrestlers. If Fantasy wants to pay Guy to fight these wrestlers then he’s glad to do it, but it seems kind of a waste. At this point, Jet Set Strutter’s music hits and he comes out with The Thinker. JSS tells Guy that he’s moving from the Outhouse to the Penthouse when it comes to competition.

2. The Stuntmen over The Metalheads.

3. Pierre the Enormous destroys Chameleon Kid. The Thinker urges him to keep working over Kid after the bell. Brohan comes out. He tells Pierre that he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him unless it’s Thinker’s and O’ Hooligan’s lies and trash. Thinker says that we were the first people to be honest with him. Brohan ignore Thinker and asks Pierre if he honestly believes Brohan did all those things on purpose to hurt him. Thinker answers again for Pierre. Brohan pie-faces Thinker, and Pierre slugs him with a huge punch he never saw coming. Pierre says that Brohan is an arrogant, self-serving jerk who can’t stand anyone getting any spotlight except him. He says that not only will he take Brohan’s spotlight, he will smash in his head with it and take Brohan’s career.

4. Valley Girl is in the ring talking, again, about The Schmuck. He appears on the video screen and says that he will accept her challenge if the match happens right now. She agrees and tells him to get out here. As his image says “gladly”, the real Schmuck comes out from beneath the ring behind Val. He clamps on the Neck Brace and she has to quickly tap. He mocks her as he makes his way up the aisle.

5. Brohan is a guest on the Reptile House. He’s still showing the effects of the attack by Pierre. Ranger asks if he’s like to do this later, but he declines. He tells Ranger that anytime he and his guys needs help against The Thugs that he’s available. Ranger thanks him, but says that he feels the Thugs know their limitations. Ranger asks about Pierre. Brohan says that even after what happened on the Pub at the Bash, he wasn’t going to give up on Pierre. He knows it’s that little twerp The Thinker’s fault. He will make Pierre see the truth.

6. The Insectoids over Nerd Alert. Mark Bugg says that while they might be insects, they are insects from the good ol’ USA, and they won’t stand for the Anti-Americans to run down the greatest country in the world…for bugs or people. The A-A come out and Hammerhead says that the bugs aren’t worthy to say their names. The Insects call Brit Buckingham “Brat”, and they call Hammerhead “Hammertoes”. The A-A attack the Buggs and lay them out easily. Howl n’ Roar run out for the save, but The A-A cut them off and leave them laying as well.

7. Juan Tijuana and Skullgore fight to a Double-Disqualification.

8. We are back in the familiar graveyard. Gothica waits and Auntie Voodoo enters. Auntie asks if we really had to go through all this for a simple answer. Gothica says it’s not simple. She says she has a condition. In addition to the loser bowing to the winner and declaring her opponent to be the “Queen of Darkness”, the loser must release all her minions from their bindings. Auntie says that’s fine, as she only stole Ghoul n’ Goblin to prove she could. They are useless as minions. Gothica says that she will claim Skullgore as her own. She accepts the challenge. Skullgore appears behind Gothica and shoves her down hard. He says that he would never serve her. Auntie looks at him with an irritated facial expression and his about to speak when Slashmaster appears, yanks a granite tombstone from the ground, and smashes Skullgore with it. Auntie runs for her life.

9. Ninja Star retains the title against the challenge of Star Boy in a very good match.

[cotguy130]

Summer Smash 8/24/80
Olympus Coliseum
Great Crowd
6007/39/**

1. As the ring announcer is welcoming the fans, he is interrupted by The Metalheads. Cesar Sleeze begins yelling about the unfair treatment they’ve received since debuting in WoW. He says the promotion favors the other, less-talented, teams because they know he and Dizzy would dominate. The only reason they haven’t been champions since day 1 is collusion. He continues on until the crowd is in frenzy. He starts insulting the fans. The ring announcer tells them to vacate the ring. Cesar tells Dizzy to get two chairs. He does so, and they promise to camp out until they get assurances that things will change. The ring announcer says that he’s just gotten word that things are about to change all right. The Neon Express, The B-Boys, Nerd Alert, and The Insectoids all come running out. The Metalheads fall out of their chairs in their haste to retreat. The teams present spend a few minutes in the ring dancing to the B=Boys music and interacting with fans.

2. Mr. Fantasy comes out. He says that he can’t prove Pat Cabbage is in violation of the wellness policy, but he’s sure it’s the case. He’s going to let Pat defend tonight. However, all the vitamins in the world won’t help him tonight as his opponent is Pierre the Enormous!! As the match begins, Dude Brohan comes out and gets on the ring apron. He’s talking to Pierre. Pierre gets totally distracted and gets in Brohan’s face. Cabbage stands and watches for a few moments, then shrugs, and gives Pierre a chop block to the knee. As he’s falling, Brohan gives him a quick shove. Pierre lays on the mat clutching his knee. Brohan looks at Cabbage and tells him to “do your move”. Cabbage shakes his head no and says “he’s too big”. Brohan says that “you can do it”. Cabbage walks over to Brohan and Dude slaps him across the chest yelling “beat the giant goof”. Cabbage moves back to where Pierre is slowly rising to his feet. He sets him up for the Garbage Pail Driver as best as he can considering the size difference, and plants Pierre on the back of his head. Pierre doesn’t move. The ref just stands there confused. Brohan jumps in the ring, pulls the ref to the mat, and uses the ref’s hand to count three. The crowd goes wild as Cabb-O-Mania runs wild over the largest wrestler in WoW. A furious Mr. Fantasy comes out. He says this proves he’s right. There’s no way Cabbage could do that without artificial help. Brohan says it was the purest help of all, and he points to the fans. Fantasy says fine. If you all like Cabbage so much, let’s see what happens when he defends against somebody else you like a lot. Next week, Cabbage will defend against The Average Guy!! Guy comes out and goes to the ring. Cabbage says that he considers it an honor to wrestle a legend like Guy. Guy says it’s an honor to wrestle a young man who’s accomplished a lot in such a short time, especially what he just did to Pierre. Cabbage and Guy shake hands and Fantasy fumes.

3. The next match features The Average Guy versus Jet Set Strutter. Before the match, The Thinker says it’s a joke that Guy is getting a TV title shot. It should be Strutter. Guy says he doesn’t make the rules. JSS needs to talk to Fantasy. JSS says why don’t you put that title shot up against $5,000 cash. JSS looks at Thinker and says “he’s good for it”. Thinker starts to protest, but Guy says “you’re on”. They go to shake on it, but JSS tries to cheap shot Guy. Guy blocks it and the match is on. Guy goes on to win the match and, supposedly, the money. The Thinker looks sick. Guy says he’s going to the back with Thinker to collect his winnings.

4. Howl n’ Roar successfully defend the Tag titles against The Anti-Americans.

5. We have a Summer Smash edition of Teeny’s playhouse up next. Officer Chip was the guest, but found Norman “ridiculous”. To which Norman naturally replied…” I know you are but what am I?” After a few minutes of banter, a masked wrestler walked on the set. He said he was “El Presidente”, to which Norman replied “Jimmy, is that you under there?” A frustrated Chip left. El Presidente said he was looking for Mr. Fantasy. He just signed with WoW, and he needs to know when his first title shot will be. Norman says you earn title shots in WoW. EP replied that his reputation earns him title shots when he walks in the door. If Mr. Fantasy doesn’t understand this, then he’s a bigger fool than I think he is and I don’t think he’s real smart to begin with. Norman said that he’s smart enough to watch his own P4V’s, so he probably just heard all that. EP asks what he means and Norman says you just wandered on to the set of a live broadcast. This is my playhouse and since Chip left, you’re my neighbor of the day!! EP roared the El Presidente doesn’t play house, and stormed off the set.

6. The next match was originally booked as Reptile Ranger and The Red Pirate Rogers versus The Slave Drivers in what was planned as the final match between these two teams. Ranger came out alone and said that Rogers was unavailable, so Haka Tonga would be taking his place. The Slave Drivers protested, but the ref said that the switch will stand. Ranger and Tonga go on to win the match. However, Tonga aggravates his ongoing injury yet again. As he’s being helped to the back, O’ Hooligan comes out and mocks his rival. Tonga tries to take a swipe at him, but stumbles and goes down in a heap. Ranger chases O’ Hooligan off as Tonga continues his slow trek to the back.

7. The main event World Title match with Arizona Chance defending against former champion Dude Brohan does not resemble a normal match, although Brohan does leave a two-time champion. Early on in the match, during the so-called “feeling out process”, Pierre comes to the ring. He’s on the apron yelling at Brohan for costing him the TV title. He says Brohan will never win the title as long as he’s around. Chance and Brohan are shoulder to shoulder inside the ring demanding Pierre leave. Pierre takes a huge swing at Brohan with what’s later revealed to be a brass-knucks wrapped fist. Brohan moves and Pierre slugs Chance, knocking him out cold. Pierre tells Brohan to pin him and take the belt back so that he can win it from Brohan. Dude knocks Pierre off the apron. He looks back at Chance who hasn’t moved. The ref asks if he’s going to pin him. Dude looks to the crowd. The ref starts a 10-count. Brohan intentionally breaks it. The ref starts another and Chance starts to rise. Brohan almost helps him up, but hesitates. At 8, Chance collapses again and it’s over. Then ref raises Brohan’s hand, but the new champ isn’t happy. The Thinker and The Think Tank are all onstage applauding and pointing to Pierre. There is no physical belt, as the one stolen from Chance hasn’t been recovered. Mr. Fantasy comes out and gives Brohan a belt purchased for emergency use. It’s obviously a less-expensive design. Fantasy demands that the culprit return the belt, and not only will they not be fired, they will get a title shot as Chance promised. He says he admires initiative in his wrestlers unless it costs him money. As the show is going off the air, Fantasy is heard telling someone to find that El Presidente guy. They’ve got a lot to discuss.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 9/6/80
Chitown Complex
Sold Out
1512/33/**

1. We are back in Chicago, and the opening bout sees Ace Arcadium getting a DQ win over The Mad Arab.

2. Before the next match, El Presidente is in the ring with Mr. Fantasy. Fantasy says that before EP can have a match in WoW, he must publicly apologize to me, in public, for the things he said at the P4V. EP tries to say that it was a joke, and that he knew Fantasy was listening. Fantasy replies that even if that’s true, I don’t have much of a sense of humor. He said that the ref’s going to start a 10-count. If you haven’t started a verbal apology by 10, I’m tearing up your contract and putting a lot of heat on anyone who tries to sign you. The ref started counting, and at 8 EP said very quickly “MrFantasyIamsorryfortheunkindthingsIsaidaboutyoulastweek.” Fantasy replied that “it wasn’t so hard now was it?” in the smarmiest tone you can imagine. “Good luck on your match”. The match itself was a three-way with EP, Star Boy, and The Piranha. Both Star Boy and Piranha mocked EP’s apology. EP replied that Fantasy still likes me more than he likes either of you, as he’s given me permission to say this. He told Star Boy and Piranha to unmask. They both stood and gawked at him. EP said he was the only masked wrestler in whichever territory he graced with his presence, and he expected other masked wrestlers to acquiesce to his demand or he would remove the mask by force. Piranha made an obscene gesture. EP asked if that was their final answer, and Star Boy yelled to ring the bell. Piranha and Star Boy actually cooperated against EP until Piranha didn’t and clamped the Outlaw Choke on Star Boy for the win. EP suggested that he and Piranha remove Star Boy’s mask. Piranha acted like he was going to cooperate with EP, but then he put the President out with the choke as well.

3. The Neon Express over The Stunt Men

4. In the No-Holds-Barred match with a stipulation that loser had to bow to the winner and declare her “The Queen of Darkness”, Gothica defeated Auntie Voodoo with the Halloween Dreams. To her credit, Auntie did not fight the stipulated actions required of her. After the declaration, Auntie even offered Gothica her hand, but it was slapped away. Auntie declared that Skullgore was hereby released from his bond. He came down with Shop of Horrors and stood behind Gothica. Ghoul and Goblin came out, and Gothica told Auntie that you can have those losers if you want them. Auntie said they were more trouble than they were worth. They slunk to the back. As Gothica and her minions were headed up the aisle, she stopped and looked back. She said that she almost forgot something. Gothica snapped her finger, said something that sounded like “Oyo Era Eerf”, and continued on with a cackle. The ref got this odd look on his face and said “where am I? What happened?” He looked like he’d just woken up from a sleep. Auntie bellowed “that witch!!”.

5. Cletus Mullet over Moon Man.

6. Zen over GoblinKnight. Zombie Punk tried to attack him after the match, but Zen got away.

7. A woman came to the ring and introduced herself as Mother Russia. While all wrestlers who despise the American Way, with all its debauchery and hypocrisy, aren’t Russian, those who share this view rally around the Soviet Union as an ally against US hegemony. Like the great nation whose name she shares, she will be a rallying point for wrestlers in WoW who care only for America based on how much of its money they can send to the glorious country of their birth. She brings out her client, from the US-loathing nation of Carpathia, Vladimir the Cruel. Vladimir goes on to defeat the Chameleon Kid with his Carpathian Claw.

8. Reptile Ranger and Pelvis Presley, with Big Boss, Jr. went to a double-countout. Ranger chased Presley off with a komodo dragon that he had brought to ringside. However, Ranger did not make it back to the ring by the 20-count either.

9. Cabb-O-Mania ends tonight as Average Guy defeats Pat Cabbage for the WoW TV title. Both competitors shook hands before and after the match. Mr. Fantasy came out and thanked Guy for ending Cabbage’s tainted streak. Guy told Fantasy that Cabbage hadn’t done a thing wrong. He said Cabbage would get a rematch, and that it’s a very real possibility that Cabbage wins it back from him. Fantasy says that Cabbage may have a contractual rematch, but there’s no rule saying that WoW has to give it anytime soon.

[cotguy130]

I apologize for the # of non-wrestling segments on this show. While selecting the 4 bonus segments, I got distracted and picked Mic Spot 3 of the 4 choices.


Boston Arena
Great Crowd
955/39/***

1. The Queen of Scream is in the ring to talk about her contenders in the ladies’ division. Gothica comes out and reminds everyone what she did to Auntie Voodoo. There’s only one person in the ladies’ ranks that The Queen needs to be thinking about, and it’s Gothica. The Queen replies that Auntie’s telling everyone that you hexed the ref which is why you won. Gothica said that IF anything of the sort occurred, it was only because she expected Auntie to do the same. The fact she didn’t shows a lot of weakness. The Queen says it shows honor. Gothica says that honor is for the weak, but the Queen needn’t worry. If hexes were an option, and she’s neither confirming or denying they are, she would only use them if the opponent had them as an option. You can never trust witches. Gothica asked for a title shot, and The Queen accepted. She also added that Gothica would need every hex at her disposal to win the title.

2. Skullgore and Slashmaster are with Rex Spectrum. Slash is silent as always. Skullgore says that Keith Blood will be returning soon, and he and The Shop of Horrors, with Gothica’s guidance, will begin a new reign of terror in WoW.

3. Nerd Alert picked up their first WoW win by defeating Ghoul & Goblin.

4. O’Hooligan and Pierre are out with the Thinker. O’ Hooligan says he can’t decide if he wants to be Cruiserweight or TV Champ, so he’s putting Guy and The Ninja on notice. Pierre says everybody know who and what he wants. He says that Brohan’s days are numbered, and he’s not just talking about his time as champion.

5. Ninja Star and Mr. Bonsai interrupt the Think Tank. Ninja says that he would greatly appreciate it if O’ Hooligan would choose to challenge for the Cruiserweight Title. What he did to Haka Tonga was deplorable, and the perfect vengeance is yet to be exacted. O’ Hooligan says it’s hard to exact vengeance from a hospital bed, and if Ninja, or Haka, or anybody tries any funny business with The Think Tank…they will spend a lot of time in one.

6. The Metalheads are in the ring for the next match. Cesar Sleeze says that he and Dizzy are going to get back at every team that embarrassed them at the P4V last week, and they will start with the B-Boys. The Boys win the match by DQ when the Metalheads attack them with their heavy metal paraphernalia, spiked wristbands, dog collars, etc. True to the Metalheads current run of non-success, the Boys quickly take the items and run off the ‘Heads with their own “weapons”. Sleeze says that their plan in still going to happen. They will start next week with a different team, and they will get back to the B-Boys down the road.

7. Chameleon Kid, with Princess Starbright, over Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr. Reptile Ranger comes out with an actual chameleon lizard which distracts Presley, allowing Kid to get the pin.

8. Dude Brohan and Arizona Chance are with Honest Al. Brohan apologizes for the way their title match went down. Chance says it was out of both their control. They both want Pierre, however. Brohan says that he will put the belt up anytime, and Chance says that he wants a match, period.

9. In a non-title match, Average Guy defeats Jet Set Strutter with Thinker. After the match, Pierre and O’ Hooligan attack the ring. Brohan and Chance make the save.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 9/20/80
The Ballroom
Great Crowd
680/39/**

1. The Metalheads revenge tour continues against The Insectoids. According to Cesar Sleeze, it’s just starting since the loss to The B-Boys didn’t count. They would deal with them later…. again. Whether it will start, again, at a future point is unknown because The Insectoids deal their opponents yet another loss.

2. Howl n’ Roar, teaming with Pat Cabbage, defeat Mother Russia’s trios team of Vladimir the Cruel and The Anti-Americans.

3. In a match to determine the #1-contender to the TV title, O’ Hooligan, Skullgore, and Great Ginzu go to a 30-minute time-limit draw.

4. Reptile Ranger, with all non-human living creatures banned from ringside, defeats Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr.

5. Teeny Norman over Officer Chip for the second time.

6. Next up is an episode of O’ Hooligan’s Pub with his guests and teammates, Jet Set Strutter and Pierre the Enormous. O’ Hooligan starts the proceedings by saying that he is going after Ninja Star’s Cruiserweight title. “A friend of my enemy is my enemy,” and if The Ninja is a friend of Tonga’s then I have a problem with him. Strutter tells Average Guy to watch out in his own inimitable style, and Pierre tells Brohan and Chance that it doesn’t matter who is World champion anymore. He will beat whoever carries the belt, and he wants the real belt. He tells Fantasy to get off his ass and find the thing.

7. We see a commercial for the Back to School P4V which will feature Dude Brohan defending against Arizona Chance. They both say the past is behind them, and at Back to School the fans will see an example of wrestling at its finest. The best man will win. We’re then back in the arena live with Average Guy and Mr. Fantasy. Fantasy tells Guy that since no contender came out of tonight’s match that Guy will not be defending at the P4V as there is no top contender ready. Guy threatens to bring in Cabbage for his rematch, but Fantasy says he will strip Guy of the title and suspend them both.

8. Supernova over The Mullet Cousins.

9. Valley Girl uses the Chill Pill to take out The Schmuck. The loss drives Schmuck into a rage, and he stands in the ring and rages against the entire ladies’ division the entire time the crowd is filing out.

[cotguy130]

Back to School 9/28/80
Silver Stadium
Sold Out
10440/41/**

1. The Mealheads revenge tour starts, again, tonight when they take on Nerd Alert. The two prior matches, against B-Boys and Insectoids, have apparently been completely forgotten by Sleeze and Lixx. The tour will have to wait, however, as Waldo and Herman’s limp forms are carried to the ring by the Slashmaster. He is accompanied by Keith Blood, who is returning from a long stint on the IR. Blood says the ‘Heads will be wrestling them tonight. Sleeze and Lixx try to run, but are caught by SoH and thrown back in the ring. The ref calls for the bell. SoH go on to win.

2. The Queen of Scream successfully defends the Ladies’ Championship against Gothica.

3. Mr. Fantasy is talking to a production team member when El Presidente walks up. EP says he wants to make sure that he and Fantasy are ok. Fantasy says that we are unless you keep bringing it up. EP apologizes again for bringing it up. Fantasy tells him to “just stop talking”. A commotion occurs off camera, and we see The Piranha being held back by several officials. Fantasy warns Piranha that if they start fighting anywhere near him, he will fire them. Piranha yells at EP about his “no other masks” rule, and says that if EP wants it then he will have to remove it from his cold, dead head. EP says to not put anything past him. EP asks Fantasy to order the other masked wrestlers to give theirs up, but Fantasy says that’s your problem. If you want the masks, take them, but if they get your’s don’t come crying to me.

4. We cut to the Reptile House set where Pelvis Presley is supposed to be the guest. However, he won’t come within 20 ft. of the set. Big Boss, Jr., who is on the set, is begging Presley not to make him look bad while Ranger makes fun of Presley’s phobia. Presley comes a few feet closer, but that’s it. Big Boss, Jr. is bragging about he’s not afraid of anything. Meanwhile, Ranger removes a large Boa Constrictor from the cage. He places it around Boss’ shoulders. Boss screams like a little kid and starts running around the set with the snake on his shoulders. He runs off the set towards Presley screaming “It’s Constrictoring Me!!” Which it wasn’t. When he got close to Presley, Pelvis took off the opposite direction without looking and ended up on the Reptile House set. When he realized where he was, Presley squealed and froze. Ranger caught up to Boss and removed the boa which he then showed to be rubber. He went around to all the cages and pulled rubber reptiles out of all of them, which he threw at Presley. Presley started yelling at Ranger who was laughing at him. Boss then started in on Ranger, yelling about his heart condition and how he was nearly scared to death. While Boss had Ranger’s attention, Presley grabbed one of the metal cages and smashed Ranger with it, knocking him down. He then proceeded to choke out Ranger with one of the rubber snakes. He finally stopped, and said that if you live by the snake then you die by the snake.

5. Wall Street end Howl n’ Roar’s 7-month title reign by winning the WoW Tag Team Championship.

6. The saga of Chance and Brohan continues as Arizona cleanly pins Brohan to win the WoW championship for the second time. As Chance puts the back-up belt around his waist, Fantasy comes out. He says that this is as good a time as any to reiterate his demand that the belt be returned. The lights go out. A video appears on the screen that begins with the original WoW title belt sitting on small table. There is one light shining down on it. A pair of white-gloved hands picks up the belt and then the camera pulls back to reveal a white-clothed torso. The person straps the belt around his own waist and walks off into the darkness. The words “In My Time” appear on the screen. Fantasy runs to the back yelling for somebody to “get me production” as the show ends.