Cotguy's WoW

[Thumper Moore III]

Good to see Cabb-O-Mania running wild again!

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 3/15/81
Empire Gardens
Decent Crowd
795/40/**

1. The Anti-Americans over The Stunt Men

2. Skullgore over Zen and Moon Man in a 3-way match.

3. Auntie Voodoo over Lyndi Harker.

4. Pierre the Enormous destroys Teeny Norman. After the match, The Schmuck comes out and puts the Neck Brace on an unconscious Norman. He demands the ref lift Norman’s arm three times to show he’s out. The ref does it once, but then walks away in disgust. Madame Tiki comes out. The Schmuck breaks the hold on Norman and tries to act tough to Tiki. She knocks him down with a hard right, and then sets up for the splash. Schmuck rolls out of the ring. Tiki picks up Norman like a child and carries him to the back.

5. The announcers tell us that we’re going to see a video of something that happened earlier in the week. The B-Boys were filming a music video for their newest song featuring Granny Mullet. We are inside a soundstage. Crew is everywhere running about. The B-Boys are in front of a screen practicing some moves while Granny works on her rapping. Out of nowhere, the Mullet Cousins charge in and attack the Boys. The techs bail out of there. Granny starts yelling for her grandsons to leave them boys alone. Zeke picks up Granny, carries her way of to the side out of the way, and tells her to stay there. She’s beating him on the back the whole time. The B-Boys make a comeback and the fights more even. Boombox picks up a lighting can, and Zap has a metal music stand. They chase the Mullets around the soundstage, until the Mullets finally climb a big piece of scaffolding set up against one wall. The B-Boys climb up and the Mullets climb down the other side. Zeke grabs Granny and they escape. The announcers say that a terrified director cancelled the shoot.

6. The Blade Blasters get their biggest win yet by defeating former champions, Shop of Horrors. Lazer says they were hoping to take the titles of SoH, but they can’t get the job done. They call out Howl n’ Roar and say that it’s time for them to feel the blades.

7. Warhawk over Iron Mask. Warhawk is prepared for an attack, but the rest of the Anti-Americans do not show up this time.

8. Reptile Ranger comes to the ring and calls out Pelvis Presley and Big Boss, Jr. Presley comes out alone. Ranger demands the return of the snake that they stole, and says it better be as healthy as it was the day they took it or there will be consequences. Presley laughs and says there’s going to be a problem then. He calls out Big Boss, Jr. Boss comes to the ring with a big plastic garbage bag. He sets it on the edge of the apron and retreats. Ranger is trembling with rage, and says this better not be what I think it is. Presley starts singing Blue Suede Shoes, but instead of Suede he sings “snake”. Ranger grabs the trash bag and dumps it in the middle of the ring. Inside the trash bag is a canvas bag like Ranger carries his snakes in, except this one had a big hole in it and was also heavily stained with what looked like blood. Ranger just stared at it for a few seconds and then looked up at Presley and Boss. Presley stopped singing and Ranger charged out of the ring. Presley and Boss bolted through the entrance with Ranger following and the camera following him. Ranger almost caught Boss when he rounded a corner. Ranger took the canvas bag and prepared to swing it. He came around the corner and swung the bag at Big Boss who had stopped. However, right next to where Boss had stopped stood Mr. Fantasy, and the bag hit him right in the face. Boss bolted again, but Fantasy didn’t realize what was happening and just knew that Reptile Ranger had attacked him with a filthy bag. Fantasy told security to restrain Ranger, who offered no resistance. Fantasy said that he doesn’t know why what just happened did happen. He doesn’t care. Ranger said it was an accident, and that he wanted Big Boss, Jr. or Presley. Fantasy hadn’t seen either of them go by as he was in conversation, so he told Ranger that if he thought he looked like either of them he should get his eyes checked…on his own dime. Fantasy told Ranger to get his gear and get out for 60 days to start. They can talk after that.

9. In a rematch demanded by Ninja Shadow, Dude Brohan picks up another win.

As the show ends, we see Reptile Ranger, with his gear bag in hand and escorted by security, exiting the building. Pelvis Presley and Big Boss, Jr. are standing by the door. They wave mockingly and Presley leans down to wipe a smudge off of his snakeskin boots. Ranger lunges, but security intervenes.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 3/21/81
Chitown Complex
Decent Crowd
635/36/**

1. We open with The Executers picking up a win over The Insectoids. In a rare moment, Mercenary asks for a mic. He admits that he and Spazz don’t talk much, as they prefer to let their skills do the talking for them. Lately, though, it seems people aren’t listening. It’s time to change that. No more meaningless matches with the Bugg-y Family, The Nerds, or even the tired old Neon Express. If WoW won’t start speaking their language, then they will find somebody to translate.

2. Zen defeated newcomer Ruffian.

3. The battle between The Anti-Americans and The American Heroes continues with another Trios match. This time, it’s Buckingham, Hammerhead, and El Presidente versus The Heroes and The Shark. Before the match, The Shark told the crowd that while he’s never really been an “America Love or Leave It” type, he’s enjoyed standing up for what’s right. EP says that if you really want to do the right thing that you will give me a mask match. Shark replied that coming from EP, a challenge like that was comical. He said he had to depend on EP’s arrogance and stupidity to get the first mask match. He said that while he was a little arrogant, he wasn’t stupid and he read all his contracts before signing. The Anti won the match when Hammer hit The Russian Sickle on Danger Zone. As has almost always been the case in Anti-A’s matches, as soon as the bell sounded, win or lose, here came the rest in the form of Iron Mask and Vladimir. This time, EP got hold of Shark and was close to getting the mask off when Average Guy hit the ring. A few elbows later and Mother’s boys cleared the ring. Guy said that his heart is the heart of the everyman from Everywhere, USA. He knows ‘Hawk and ‘Zone and Shark feel the same way. He’s joining them in their fight.

4. Madame Tiki and Valley Girl went to a Double Countout when the Schmuck came out and started yelling at Tiki. Both she and Val took off after him. They were all over the arena floor when Val realized what was going on and ran back to the ring. The ref hit 20 just as she her feet left the floor to dive back in, but it was too late. After a showing a bit of pique, she yelled “Schmuck!!” and took off again.

5. The Mullet Cousins are in a backstage room with Granny tied to a chair. She’s kicking and yelling about “tanning their hides” when she gets free. She finally yells “When B-Dub and the Z find out what happened, they’re gonna kick y’alls butt”! At that, Zeke shoved the corner of her shawl in her mouth to gag her. Cletus was yelling about what those no-good varmint B-Boys did to their Granny. All she wants to do is rap and drink cheap wine. They can’t let her go back to Tennessee like this. Pa’s already mad cause his saintly Mama is acting like a floozy, and he’s mad at Cletus and Zeke for not taking care of the B-Boys before they got to her. Cletus says we got to finish this once and for all.

6. Ghoul & Goblin over Nerd Alert.

7. Juan Tijuana over Vladimir the Cruel when The Shark distracts him and allows JT to hit the Flying Forearm for the win.

8. A commercial for the upcoming March Madness P4V airs. This new event will feature the 1st Annual March Madness Tournament. Four men in the tournament, Ace Arcadium, Jet Set Strutter, Star Boy, and Cesar Sleeze each talk briefly about the tournament, the prize money, the trophy, and the World Title match that goes to the winner. The entire first round is announced. Ace Arcadium will take on Skullgore. Jet Set Strutter will take on The Shark. El Presidente will take on Star Boy, and Cesar Sleeze will meet a mystery newcomer (whose history in the business puts him in World title contention immediately). The second round will feature The Arcadium/Skullgore winner versus the JSS/Shark winner, and the Star Boy/EP winner versus the Sleeze/Mystery Man winner.

9. In his first cruiserweight title defense, Pat Cabbage successful defends against Skullgore with Gothica.

[cotguy130]

March Madness 3/29/81
Olympus Colosseum
Sold Out
10029/44/**

1. We start right off with the Round 1 of the tournament. In the first match, Ace Arcadium defeats Skullgore with Gothica.

2. In the second match, Jet Set Strutter defeats the Shark.

3. Cesar Sleeze comes out first for the third match. He is demanding to know his opponent, and is threatening everyone at ringside if they won’t tell him. Sleeze walks back up the aisle to the entrance, and turns and tells the crowd that he’s going backstage to find the coward who hides his face, and beat him up. The crowd roars as superstar Fireball walks out behind Sleeze. Sleeze asks the crowd if he’s right behind him. When the crowd roars “Yes”, Sleeze says he’s going to turn around and punch whoever it is in the face. Fireball’s familiar music hits, and Sleeze asks if that’s who he thinks it is. The crowd roars “Yes” again. Sleeze starts to run, but Fireball grabs his hair and levels him with a clothesline. The match makes its way back to the ring where it is quickly over.

4. In the final first-round match, Star Boy, with Mr. Bonsai, defeats El Presidente. The Shark helps Star Boy get the win when he distracts EP and Star Boy hits the Flying Cross Chop for the pin. The Anti-As run out en masse to attack Shark, but he gets away in the crowd. They turn their attention to Star Boy and Bonsai, and work them over briefly before the Heroes and Guy run them off.

5. After the dust settles from the prior match, Mr. Fantasy comes out. He tells everyone but Buckingham and Hammerhead to leave and not come back tonight, as in “leave the building”. After they clear the area, Howl n’ Roar are announced and make their way to the ring. Fantasy says that tonight’s scheduled challengers, the Blade Blasters, are out due to an injury to Lazer. Challenging for the Tag Titles tonight will be The Anti-Americans. Brit and Hammer celebrate as Michael T. Wolf thanks Fantasy for “giving them the night off”. Hammer asks what that means, and Wolf replies that “you guys are like a night off”. An enraged A-A team attacks HnR and the match is on. The A-As hold the advantage for a while, but in the end the champs retain.

6. In the second round of the March Madness tournament, Jet Set Strutter continues to show his dominance over Ace Arcadium with a big win.

7. In the other semi-final, Fireball defeats Star Boy in a good match. Mr. Bonsai is unavailable due to the earlier attack by the Anti-As, and Star Boy is still showing the effects of the same attack. The announcers say that Fireball is a tough opponent on a good night, but when you’re not at 100% then he can be insurmountable.

8. Arizona Chance successfully defends the WoW World Title for the 6th consecutive time with another win over Pierre the Enormous. This match is much better than their prior meeting, and Pierre comes very close on more than one occasion.

9. In the March Madness tournament final, Jet Set Strutter defeats Fireball to become the first tournament winner. Mr. Fantasy brings him his trophy and an oversized check for the prize money. JSS says that all this stuff means nothing to him. That check might cover the bar tab for all his boys at the after party later on tonight. What he wants is that shot at the title, and now he’s got it. Whether it’s Arizona Chance or Ninja Shadow is irrelevant. Either man will submit when he slaps the 6-Figure Leglock on them. At the after party that night, when he wins the WoW World title, Fantasy will need to bring him 10 checks for that amount to cover the wine, women, and…wine and women that will happening all night long.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 4/4/81
Golden Plaza
Great Crowd
766/36/**

We open backstage and we see the Mad Arab running around looking for something. He suddenly breaks into a mad dash and attacks someone. We quickly see that his victim is Fireball. He’s not a victim long, however, as he gives the fight right back to Arab. The two are finally separated by wrestlers and security, but Mr. Fantasy runs up and says that if they go to the ring right now then he will make it official. Arab takes off for the arena entrance, but Fireball catches him on the entrance way and the brawling starts again.

1. They finally get to the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. Fireball goes on to pick up the win.

2. The Anti-Americans over The American Heroes. Average Guy is at ringside with an American flag. Iron Mask, El Presidente, and Vladimir attack Guy. They steal the flag, and in the confusion, Danger Zone catches a Britain Bulldog for the loss. They Anti-As attack Warhawk as well. After both Heroes are laid out and Guy is incapacitated, they dump Warhawk on top of Danger Zone and cover them both with the Russian flag. They then take the American flag and are about to do something to it when Guy hits the ring with a chair and chases them away.

3. O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open for business, and his guests are Mr. Tycoon, Pierre the Enormous, and The Thinker. Thinker opens by saying that he and O’ Hooligan are amicably parting ways as the Scotsman wants to start handling his own affairs. He then turns to Tycoon and hands him a folder of papers. He tells Pierre that he’s sorry things didn’t work out, but his greatest achievement was getting Pierre out from Brohan’s shadow. He knows that Pierre will excel at a higher level under Tycoon’s tutelage. It just seems they weren’t a good fit. Pierre is obviously confused. Tycoon says that you’re with me now. I bought your contract. Thinker says that we weren’t meshing well, and I really want to focus on Jet Set Strutter. Pierre tells Thinker that you can’t just buy and sell me like this without consulting me, and Thinker says that I actually can. Tycoon tells Pierre that you and I are going to win the Tag Titles. Pierre says that he wants the World Title, and Tycoon dismissively says “yea, yea, that too”. He tells Pierre it’s time to meet Yuppie VP for their first strategy session.

4. Mr. Fantasy is on the phone backstage when Red Pirate Rogers walks up. He tells Fantasy to reconsider the way he handled Reptile Ranger. Fantasy says that Ranger hit me with a nasty old canvas bag covered in dried snake blood. Pirate said that was true, but Fantasy knew it was an accident, and what had just transpired with Presley and Big Boss, Jr. Fantasy said that he did later become aware of the extenuating circumstances, but his decisions are final. Just then, Presley and Boss walk up. They congratulate the way Fantasy handled the Ranger situation. As the way that he brutally attacked him was uncalled for. Fantasy tells them to shut up, and he makes a match between Presley and the Pirate for next week.

5. The next match was scheduled to be The Neon Express versus the Slave Drivers, but it was announced that Chet Skye was out with a family matter. Jessie Wild took of Big Thuggee. Jessie won the match, but was attacked by both Thuggees after the match.

6. In a No-Holds-Barred match, The Schmuck defeated Teeny Norman. Norman came to the ring with Madame Tiki, but the ref did not let her stay. After his win, Schmuck refused, yet again, to release the Neck Brace. Tiki charged the ring and almost got her hands on him.

7. Ruffian got his win back with a victory over Zen.

8. Rad Racer over Officer Chip. After the match, Chip attacked Racer and beat him with his billy club. Crash made the save, but not before Racer had been injured to the point that he required medical assistance and made a trip to the hospital.

9. Average Guy over El Presidente to retain the TV Title. Before the match, the ref ordered all allies of both men to the back, and said if he sees any of their faces during or after this match then they will be suspended.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 4/12/81
Boston Arena
Great Crowd
860/36/**

1. The Big Money Trio of Mr. Tycoon, Pierre the Enormous, and Yuppie VP devastated Nerd Alert and Crash.

2. Red Pirate Rogers defeated Pelvis Presley with Big Boss, Jr.

3. In the ladies’ division, newcomer Aurora defeated Sgt. Shipley. Iron Mask was seen watching the match from a distance.

4. War Hawk, Danger Zone, Average Guy, and The Shark are backstage. Hawk thanks Guy and Shark for helping with the cause, although he admits that Shark has been an unlikely ally. Shark says that he’s glad to have found a cause other than his own ego. Hawk adds that there’s a long way to go to rid WoW of the Anti-Americans, but they will get the job done.

5. Teeny Norman is in the Play House, and he says he’s not having a guest today because he’s his own guest. He starts this bit where he jumps back and forth between two spots like he’s interviewing himself. He tells himself that he wants to talk about that mean-old Schmuck and his best gal, Madame Tiki. Before he can go on, the door to the Play House explodes inward and Officer Chip strides in. Norman tells Chip that he’s not allowed in the Play House, and Chip tells Norman to shut up. He’s going to speak his mind, and if Norman doesn’t like it then he’s going to get a nice stick where the sun don’t shine. Norman screams “Police Brutality” and runs off. Chip says that while he’s a very accomplished professional wrestler with a lengthy list of commendations, he’s also a certified, registered, licensed law-enforcement officer who also happens to have a lengthy list of commendations. He became a wrestler for a change-of-pace, but as soon as that dangerous, disrespectful punk Rad Racer arrived. He knew what his mission was. Racer is a menace to everyone and everything he gets close to, and it’s his job to shut him down and run him off. Chip says he thought he would be done by now, but the perp has proven more elusive than anticipated. Therefore, he has a challenge for the Racer. One match with no rules, and the loser leaves WoW for no less than one year. He doubts a reprobate like Race will have the courage to accept this challenge, but if is does decline then he proves Chip to be correct in his assessment of Racer’s maturity.

6. The Slave Drivers over The Neon Express.

7. Star Boy over Chameleon Kid. Before the match, the announcer asked Star Boy about the condition of Mr. Bonsai. SB offhandedly replied that he’d been too busy to talk to him in a while. He said to check with “that Shark guy”. He might have kept in touch.” SB’s style, while not markedly different, was definitely more aggressive than usual.

8. Honest Al is interviewing the B-Boys. Zap says the only thing the Mullets have said in this whole feud that they agree with is that it’s time to end it. Al asks about Granny, and he says that she’s staying away from the shows for the time being. She doesn’t trust her grandsons to snatch her up and make her go back to the mountains. Al asks what the plans are and BB says that they have one. They show a short clip from the end of the incident at the video shoot where the Mullets climb the scaffolding to get away from the B-Boys. Back live, BB says this is their challenge. Let’s get big scaffolding built over the ring, at least twice as big as that one, maybe even more. We can have our fight up there, and the first team to get both guys knocked off that scaffold loses. BB says to “imagine all this sexiness falling that far to the ground. I’ll make a helluva thud, but I’m willing to take that chance. Are you, hillbillies?”

9. The main event is Dude Brohan vs. Ninja Shadow. Before the match, Shadow reminded everyone that he had a World Title match coming up in two weeks. His performance against Brohan to this point was not acceptable. He was the superior fighter to Brohan, and he had to prove it. Despite losing both of their prior match-ups, Shadow fought the best fight anyone had seen from him till this point, and defeated Brohan. Shadow called out Arizona Chance and said that Shadow you saw tonight is the Shadow to whom you will fall

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 4/18/81
The Ballroom
Sold Out
1222/40/**

1. Zen defeats Johnny Kobra in the opener. Ruffian seconds Kobra at ringside.

2. In a three-way match, Ace Arcadium defeats Troglo and O’ Hooligan.

3. With Lazer injured, Buzzsaw of the Blade Blasters takes on Keith Blood, one-half of Shop of Horrors, in a singles’ match. Buzzsaw gets the win, and Skullgore hits the ring. Buzzsaw dispatches him, and Slashmaster enters the ring. Buzzsaw and Slashmaster have a stare down, but don’t get physical. Skullgore calls Slash away from the confrontation.

4. Chaka Crass over Glam.

5. Dungeon Crawler over Yuppie VP.

6. The Executers are out for an interview. Mercenary says that they’ve moved forward with their plan to get themselves noticed. They introduce their new manager, Ryan Regret. The crowd has no clue who he is, but regret acts like he should be a household name. He says that he’s already been in talks with Mr. Fantasy about getting The Executors the matches they deserve. He promises that Mercenary and Spazz will be the first names on everyone’s list when it comes to tag team just like he’s the first name in managing.

7. Big Money over Supernova.

8. The Mullets answer the B-Boys challenge for a scaffold match. The answer is a resounding, from Cletus, “what kind of dang fool would climb up that high and try to fight? We ain’t willin’ to risk our lives to get Granny back. You can have her. You know what? Us not wantin’ to fight 25 feets in the air don’t mean weer chickens, either. If you want to, that’s fine. You just showin’ how stupid you are. Take you butt-whippins’ on Good Ol’ Mother Earth like normal rasslin’ folk. Got it? What you say about that Cuz? To which Zeke replied, “Build the scaffoldin’…we’ll be there and I’ll toss you both off myself. Cletus looked mortified.

9. As a reward for making it to the March Madness finals, Fireball was given a TV title shot. Average Guy’s red-hot streak continues, however, and he successfully defends again.

[cotguy130]

Clash of Champions 4/26/81
The Fairgrounds
Sold Out
2100/42/**

WoW holds their first ever outdoor show on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. As the announcers are running down the card, they get word of a commotion in the wrestlers’ trailer area. The scene shifts to an area adjacent to the Fairgrounds where we see several large trailers lined up next to one another. The announcers tell us that these trailers are serving as the wrestlers’ dressing area. One of the trailers is rocking back and forth violently on its supports. A small window from that same trailer shatters, and we see The Shark’s head come through the window. The mask is almost completely ripped off, and what we can see is a bloody mess. Shark’s head is pulled back into the trailer, and Hammerhead’s face appears. He yells that “this is what will happen to any American scum who oppose us”. His head disappears again, and the yelling, crashing, and rocking resume. About this time, a chainsaw is heard coming from in the trailer. People outside are screaming now. A chainsaw slices through the side of the trailer from the inside and cuts a huge gash running vertically. The gash is widened until its big enough for The Shark’s limp form to be shoved through. He falls several feet to the ground and people immediately rush to his aid. The actual trailer door opens and Mother Russia emerges on the top step. The rest of the Anti-Americans can be seen behind her. Vlad is holding the chainsaw. Mother says “We are in your pitiful country to take your American money and your American livelihoods. The carcass you see before you is a symbol of what we can, and will, do when pushed too far. We’ve pushed back and The Shark has paid the price. It is our sincere wish that his pitiful career be ended.” The A-As left the trailer, stopping to spit on the Shark and the medical personnel tending to him. An ambulance pulls up and we cut back to the announcers.

1. Average Guy, scheduled for the first match, storms to the ring. He apologizes for not being there for The Shark, but he was getting ready for this match. Warhawk and Danger Zone aren’t here, and The Anti-Americans weren’t supposed to be. As soon as he finishes here, he’s going to the hospital and he will get word back to the people how Shark’s doing. Ace Arcadium’s, Guy’s opponent, music hits. Ace comes out and says that he likes Shark too, but that Guy better focus. Guy says to let him worry about his focus. Ace says I want you at 100%. Guy says “I want you to shut up and get in the damn ring. I gotta match to win”. This incenses Ace and he quickly gets in the ring. An angry Guy, with a huge chip on his shoulder, is too much for Ace. As soon as the ref counts three, Guy rolls out of the ring and leaves the area. Ace starts to talk, but a smattering of boos silences him.

2. The Neon Express are interviewed at ringside. They talk about their recent issues with The Slave Drivers, and how the Executors called them meaningless opponents. They also joke about never having heard of Ryan Regret, the Executors new manager, even though he acted like he was a well-known commodity. Chet said that “you don’t become more meaningful depending on someone meaningless for help.”

3. In a Tag Team title match, Howl n’ Roar defeated Big Money.

4. Fireball over The Mad Arab. Fireball addressed the crowd afterwards and said that they’ve probably realized that he and the Arab have had issues before. He thought they were settled and the Arab knew his place, but apparently Arab’s madness has gotten worse and he wants to go another round. Fireball says that’s fine with him.

5. The Schmuck comes out and says that he’s issuing an open challenge. He’s challenging Pat Cabbage to defend the Cruiserweight Title against him, right here, right now. Cabbage comes out and says this isn’t how open challenges work for normal, sane wrestlers. Champions offer the challenges. Schmuck asks him if he’s going to be a coward and decline. He says that Cabbage knows that Schmuck-O-Mania is stronger than Cabb-O-Mania. Cabbage says that while it would be well within my rights to ignore you, I’m not going to, because you need shutting up in the worst way. The ladies are doing just fine by themselves, but I want to join in on the fun. Shmuck says the fun will be all mine when I take the cruiserweight title. The match begins, and Cabbage does indeed make Schmuck look like a fool. Tiki and Norman come out to watch the match and mock Schmuck. After Cabbage gets the pin with the Garbage Pail Driver, he invites Norman and Tiki in. They throw Schmuck over the top rope and celebrate by dancing to Norman’s famous music.

6. We see a short training montage for ex-footballer Bobby Blitzworth, who is headed to compete in WoW.

7. Tiki remained in the ring for her title match with the Queen of Scream. Tiki defeats The Queen and wins the title in an average match. As she celebrates after the win, The Schmuck runs in from behind and blasts her with the ring bell. Norman tries to make the save, but takes a bell shot as well.

8. In what’s considered an upset, Star Boy overcomes O’ Hooligan and Dude Brohan to win a three-way match. He gets the pin on O’ Hooligan with the Flying Cross Chop. Mr. Bonsai does not accompany SB to the ring, but he comes out during the match to much applause. After the match, however, SB walks right past him on his way to the back, only slightly acknowledging him.

9. Arizona Chance retains the World Title with a win over Ninja Shadow. Jet Set Strutter comes out and the two stare each other down in the middle of the ring. Arizona says that he looks forward to facing Strutter one-on-one. Strutter calls him a fool and says he better take that belt with him everywhere he goes and enjoy the next 30 days he has with it. It will be the last 30 days he has with it.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 6/6/81
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
1001/34/**

The announcers are updating the fans on the condition of The Shark when the Anti-Americans interrupt. Brit Buckingham says that Shark’s condition is terminal, and his career is dead. Mother says that they feel Canada is a little too friendly with America, so they hate them as well. Tonight, they are Anti-Canadians. Warhawk and Danger Zone attack from nowhere and even with the odds against them, they send the “Antis” retreating. They challenge any two members to a match right now, sanctioned or not, they don’t care. 2 people from that group are going to feel what the Shark felt last week. A ref enters the ring and says that he’s just gotten word that Mr. Fantasy has approved a match.

1. Hawk and Zone leap from the ring with chairs and blast the entire group with chair shots. They drag Buckingham and Hammer into the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. Due to their preemptive chair attack, the Heroes have the advantage and maintain it throughout the match, defeating the “Anti-Canadians” in short order. Hawk says that this is the kind of beating that the miserable jerks will get until Shark is back by their side.

2. Almighty Dolla defeated Aurora. Dolla got on the mic and said that it looks like little has changed for Lyndi Harker since her whiny little rant a few weeks ago. All that talk about “not being focused” and “being overconfident” was just to cover up the fact that she’s an untalented twit. Dolla then started talking about how it’s time she put herself in the WoW ladies’ title picture, but was interrupted by Harker. Lyndi said that what you call a rant, I call “explaining what was going on in my head and how it was affecting my performance.” She said she couldn’t care less if Dolla respects her or not since Dolla’s nothing but an overrated crone who sets ladies wrestling back 5 years every time she’s on camera. Harker was, in turn, interrupted by Valley Girl.

3. Val told her that two women inspired her to become a wrestler, The Queen of Scream and The Almighty Dolla. Harker replied that those were two sad reasons. Val said that’s funny coming from somebody who can’t beat either of them. She then added “and who can’t beat me.” Harker asked if she wanted to test that theory right now and Val agreed. Dolla remained in Val’s corner and liberally interfered. Harker was able over the odds and pick up a win. Dolla tried to attack Harker, but was cut off and taken down.

4. Next up is the scaffold match between The B-Boys and The Mullet Cousins. The Boys made sure Granny was comfortable in her rocking chair at ringside, and climbed without hesitation. The Mullets came out and declined to make the climb. Zeke tried to grab Granny and she wailed on him with her cane. The ref said that if the Mullets didn’t climb up, they were barred from WoW for life. With that, they started climbing. They were met at the top by The Boys and the match was on. Both teams were tentative, as expected, and the match was primarily a brawl. At the turning point, The Mullets pulled big iron horseshoes out of their overalls. They simultaneously smashed Boombox on either side of his head with the horseshoes, and a stunned BB staggered to the edge and fell to the mat. Medics immediately descended on him. The Mullets chased Zap around the platform trying to give him a shot with the heavy iron. Zap almost fell once, but caught himself and moved to where he could climb back up the side without being assaulted. At this point, Granny entered the ring with unusual spryness for one her age, and, in an even bigger surprise, quickly scrambled up the scaffolding. She stepped on the platform just as the Mullets were about to toss a badly stunned Zap off. The Mullets dropped Zap on the platform in confusion. They approached her, and she hit Zeke in the groin with a cane. Cletus grabbed her hair and a wig came off, revealing The Chameleon Kid. As this was going on, Zap dropkicked Zeke off the scaffolding. Cletus tried to get Zeke to help him, but Kid pointed to the mat. He looked down and saw Zeke laying 25ft. below out cold. He turned and walked right into a shot with a horseshoe from Zap. After staggering about for a few seconds, Cletus stepped off the edge into the long fall, and giving The B-Boys the victory. As the medics were tending to the fallen competitors, they showed a replay from a secondary camera which showed Granny sliding out of her rocking chair crouching low beside the ring while Kid Granny took her place and began the climb. Zap and Kid climbed down, checked on Granny, and headed quickly to the back where BB had been already been taken.

5. After an intermission, Johnny Kobra defeated Moon Man. Ruffian accompanied him to ringside.

6. Fireball defeated Iron Mask. Mask was still showing the effects of the earlier assault by the American Heroes. After being pinned, Mask tried to signal to the back, but, to his visible annoyance, no one responded.

7. Bobby Blitzworth defeated The Mad Arab in his debut match.

8. Ace Arcadium finally gets a big win by defeating Ninja Shadow.

9. Average Guy successfully defends the TV title against O’ Hooligan.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 5/14/81
The Ballroom
Sold Out
1112/38/**

Star Boy interrupts the introduction. He calls out Arizona Chance. He says he’s been on a roll lately, and he deserves a title shot. Mr. Bonsai comes out and tells SB that this isn’t how they do things. SB says it’s the way I do things, so leave. SB sets up a chair in the ring and sits. He says he isn’t going until he gets a title match. Chance comes out and tells SB that he can’t make title matches, but he will give SB a match tonight if that will do. SB points at the belt. Chance shrugs and repeats himself. SB says that he will take the match, and he will handle the title part.

1. The Frat Boy Bullies over 8-Bit, Zen and his new partner, Max Attack.

2. Dungeon Crawler over Zombie Punk.


3. Howl n’ Roar and Pat Cabbage over Big Money Trio. Before the match, Tycoon said that when they win this, they are demanding a tag title match. Afterwards, Michael T. Wolf said, “what were you saying about a title match?”

4. Sgt. Shipley over Mother Russia. The Antis tried to intimidate Shipley by surrounding the ring, but The Heroes and Guy ran them off.

5. L’il Thuggee over Chet Skye after interference from Big Thuggee who had previously taken out Jessie Wild.

6. The Heroes and Guy come back out. Guy holds up Shark’s ripped and bloodied mask. They don’t know yet if he will ever return, and the fact that Mother’s Little Boys are happy about that makes him sick. Guy says he should’ve been there for Shark at the P4V, and Hawk says that Shark’s a pro, and knows the dangers. The Antis have crossed from dangerous to sick and sadistic. He knows Shark will be back, as the dude’s a fighter. The Antis made a big mistake, and The Heroes, Average Guy, and the Shark will make them pay for it.

7. The announcers inform everyone that Mr. Fantasy has agreed to make tonight’s match between Arizona Chance and Star Boy a world title match. The Executors come out first with Ryan Regret. Mercenary asks who he’s got lined up for them…Howl n’ Roar? Blade Blasters? A very proud Regret says it’s these guys!! Moon Man comes out first. He says that he hasn’t been able to get a word with Star Boy in a while, so he’s not sure what’s up with Supernova. He introduces his partner for the night, Zap!! Mercenary asks what’s going on. Regret says it was supposed to be Supernova. How was he supposed to know they weren’t talking? Merc says that this isn’t even a real team, and he doesn’t care about Supernova as he’s forgotten about them as well. Moon Man says that The MoonZappers will make you forget Supernova. However, they do not as The Executors pick up the win. Merc tells Regret that this isn’t what we’re paying you for. Regret says that the backstage politics of WoW is different than the other companies he’s managed in. Merc reminds him that he’s never given them his resume. Where have you managed? Regret says that they will take care of that right now.

8. Almighty Dolla makes an entrance. She says she wants to address some accusations. She says that Lyndi Harker hinted at indiscretions in Dolla’s past. Dolla said that if you know the business, then you know what she thinks they are. If not, don’t worry about them as they are untrue. She says it’s sad that Harker can’t lift herself up without knocking other’s down. Dolla says she earned everything she’s got through blood, sweat, and tears, period. Unless Harker can back up her lies then she needs to shut up and worry about becoming a better wrestler.

9. Arizona Chance defeats Star Boy to retain the WoW Word title. Chance offers to shake SB’s hand before and after the match, but is rebuffed both times. One again, Mr. Bonsai comes out to try and talk to him, but his overtures are ignored.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 5/20/81

Empire Gardens

Great Crowd

1650/36/***



1. The Anti-Americans over The Stunt Men. Before the match, Brit sent the rest of the Antis back to the locker room. He said that he’s tired of the accusations that they need any help to win matches. He says that anyone on his team, or any combination of guys, well, with one exception, can beat any person or team in WoW. After their win, Brit asks how many guys it took to beat The Stunt Men? It took two guys, he and Hammer. That’s all they’ve ever needed.


2. The Queen of Scream over Glam. The Queen says she’s challenging for the title in two weeks against Madame Tiki. She says she wants Tiki at her best, and not distracted by The Schmuck or Norman or anything else. She closes by asking if people have noticed that the Schmuck hasn’t called her out. She’s almost hoping he would so she could make an example out of the little creep, but she figures he doesn’t have a death wish.


3. With Lazer recuperating from injury, Buzzsaw steps out for his first singles match in WoW. He defeats Skullgore without a lot of effort. He fights off Keith Blood, and here comes Slashmaster. Once again, Skullgore calls him off. This time, as they are leaving, Gothica meets them in the aisle. She asks Skullgore why he keeps calling Slashmaster off. He says it’s not yet time. She says that she decides when it’s time. Before Skullgore can respond, Buzzsaw runs down the aisle and clotheslines Blood and Skullgore from behind. Skullgore crashes into Gothica knocking her down. Slashmaster ignores everything else, picks up Gothica, and carries her to the back.


4. The Mad Arab over Fireball in a rematch. We cut backstage as soon as The Arab passes through the entrance. Mother Russia is standing there waiting for him. She says she’d like a word in private, if possible. Arab smiles, nods, and motions for her to lead the way.


5. Zap over Cesar Sleeze. As he’s greeting the fans after the match, a voice comes over the sound system. “Zap. Zap. Is that what you’re calling yourself these days? A stupid name for a stupid little boy. I’ll play along for now since the names I have for you can’t be said in this situation. Little Zap, I’ve been watching you…again…and I don’t like what I’m seeing. You know what that means, don’t you? It’s time I paid you a little visit. When? You’ll know when I get there. Where? When I decide and not a second earlier. Bye for now…Zap.” He definitely recognized the voice, and definitely wasn’t happy to hear it.


6. Arizona Chance is in the ring. He talks about his recent contenders, and how it’s been a tough road full of accomplished wrestlers. Still, he’s managed to keep the title. He doesn’t remember every moment of every one of these matches, but in the end, his arm is the one being raised. He commends Brohan, Pierre, Shadow, and Star Boy. He doesn’t commend Presley because that clown didn’t deserve a match in the first place. He looks forward to commending Strutter

next week over a well-fought match, but he will be leaving with the title again.


7. Scheduled up next is Supernova versus Ghoul n’ Goblin. Based on Moon Man’s comments last week, they weren’t sure what would happen. Moon Man came out. He shrugged and went to the ring. Ghoul n’ Goblin attacked him. The crowd started chanting “Star Boy”. The beating continued. Zombie left the ring and threatened to hurt the bell ringer if he didn’t do his job. The bell rang, and they continued to work over Moon. Finally, Star Boy came out. He walked right to the ring not acknowledging anyone. He jumped in the ring and levelled Zombie with the Flying Cross Chop. He left the ring and went to the back. Moon Man slugged Goblin and pinned Zombie for the win.


8. The Executors and Ryan Regret are with Honest Al. Al asks if they’ve worked out all the kinks in their business relationship. Regret says have they ever. They are all on the same page. Merc says that we aren’t even in the same book. You went to get your resume for us to read, and then disappeared. You called later about an unexpected meeting that kept you tied up all day.. Regret said all that was true. The Executors aren’t his only holdings. Spazz screams that you don’t hold us. Regret says it’s a figure of speech. Spazz says that Merc’s too nice a guy. It’s time for mean wrestler, meaner wrestler and he’s the meanest of them all. Regret says that we can take care of any concerns you might have after this interview, or you can let me take my meeting with Mr. Fantasy about getting you guys in the title picture. Spazz says to meet with Fantasy, our stuff can wait. Regret says that you didn’t hire a world-famous manager of champions for nothing!!


9. Average Guy successfully defends the TV title against Troglo. The Mad Arab joins I to attack him. Mother Russia comes out. She says to welcome The Mad Arab to the Anti-Americans. She says that their targeting Guy’s TV title first as they expand the empire. She and Arab leave. Troglo tries to follow, but she says that he isn’t invited. Arab looks like he’s trying to console his partner, but then he jams a fork in Troglo’s face and leaves him screaming in the aisle.

[cotguy130]

Monster Mayhem 5/28/81
Silver Stadium
Sold Out
16050/46/***

1. Madame Tiki is in the ring for her title defense against The Queen of Scream. When the Queen’s music hits, The Schmuck comes out. Schmuck says that “The Queen shouldn’t have called me out, because I just took care of her. Now, Madame, you don’t have a challenger for your title. You’ve been wanting to get your hands on me for beating up your boyfriend Norman, right? You put that title on the line against me, right now, and you can try and kick my ass. What will happen is that I will kick your fat ass and win the title. The choice is yours”. Tiki accepts the challenge and Schmuck enters the ring. The ref isn’t sure how to handle the situation, but holds the belt up anyhow signaling a title match. Schmuck gets an early advantage and it appears as though he might win the belt. Tiki stages a comeback and pins him after the South Pacific Splash. Teeny Norman and The Queen of Scream come out and take shots at The Schmuck. Once again, Tiki hits him with multiple splashes. Mr. Fantasy comes out and asks them to stop. He says that this was funny for a while, but it’s outstayed its welcome. He says that when Schmuck comes to, if he comes to, that somebody needs to tell him that this inter-gender crap is done. He can wrestle men or he can go away. Mr. Fantasy would prefer he stick around, after recovering from this beatdown, because his real wrestlers need a human punching bag to practice on.

2. Honest Al catches up to Rad Racer in the back and asks him about Officer Chip’s challenge to a loser-leave-town match. Racer says there’s no need to make a big production…. of course he accepts. The match is next week.

3. In a Trios match, The American Heroes team up with Ace Arcadium, replacing The Shark, to take on Buckingham, Hammerhead, and El Presidente. Buckingham uses the Britain Bulldog on Arcadium to get the win. Ace is very upset at taking the loss, and refuses to accept the encouragement of The Heroes.

4. Average Guy successfully defends the TV Title against The Mad Arab with Mother Russia.

5. Reptile Ranger appears on a pre-recorded video from his home. He says that he will be back in couple of weeks. He warns Pelvis Presley that he’s still mad. He’s not really mad at Presley though, he’s mad at himself. He’s going to take it out on Presley, however. While he was out on suspension, he went and talked to a friend who is a veterinarian at a well-known zoo. He had this friend test the blood on the bag. It wasn’t snake. It was cow, probably from a slaughterhouse somewhere. Ranger says that he let Presley get one over on him again. That’s why he’s mad at himself. He cost himself two months’ pay over nothing. With all that in mind, there’s still one question. Where’s my snake? In two weeks, Presley and I are going to meet in a steel cage match and finish this. When you enter that cage, Presley, you better be carrying a snake or something with a snake in it. By the way, when I beat you in that cage, Big Boss Jr. has to get in there with me as well. I don’t want the usual five minutes either. I’ve got two months of lost wages and all the frustration that causes to beat out of you, Boss. This is not going to be pretty at all.

6. Next up, we have a tag title match with Howl n’ Roar defending against the red-hot Blade Blasters. The hot streak continues as The Blasters take the title off of the champs. The Blasters immediately challenge Shop of Horrors to a non-title match.

7. In their first one-on-one match since their friendship ended, Dude Brohan defeated Pierre the Enormous. After the pin, Brohan tried, once again, to talk to Pierre. At first opportunity, Pierre low-blowed Brohan and left him in the ring.

8. Arizona Chance’s 8-month title run ends when he drops the belt to Jet Set Strutter.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 6/2/81
Chitown Complex
Great Crowd
1138/39/**

1. Fireball defeated The Mad Arab in their ongoing rivalry. Despite the announcement that he had joined the Anti-Americans, his involvement with them appears to be of a different nature as he isn’t ever seen associating with them.

2. Warhawk over Iron Mask with Mother Russia. Hawk dodged an attempt by Mother to hit him with her flag pole, and she struck Mask instead. Hawk got the pin.

3. The Executors are out with Ryan Regret. He asks if they’re pumped up for this big match he’s put together for them. They are ready, and Merc says he can’t wait for the world-class competition that Ryan’s finally bringing to the table. Ryan tells them to not to be overwhelmed when they see who is coming through that door…its Juan Tijuana and…. Teeny Norman. The Executors can’t believe what they’re seeing. Regret acts like Tijuana and Norman are a team that’s a threat to his charges. Spazz asks if this is the best that he can do. Tijuana interrupts and says to not take us lightly. The Executers are arguing with Regret when Tijuana and Norman roll them up for simultaneous near falls. Juan and Norman come close to winning more than once before Merc is able to slap the Canadian Cloverleaf on Tijuana for the submission. Regret acts like they’ve just won the titles.

4. The Queen of Scream over Aurora.

5. Moon Man over Big Thuggee.

6. Buzzsaw of the Blade Blasters over Keith Blood of Shop of Horrors. Gothica is with Blood. After Buzzsaw wins, she calls down Slashmaster and he goes after Buzzsaw. Lazer returns and breaks it up before fighting begins.
7. Skullgore over Bobby Blitzworth. Shop of Horrors attacks Blitz after the match, and the Blade Blasters make the save.

8. In a No-Holds-Barred match with a Loser-Leave-Town stipulation, Officer Chip defeats Rad Racer. Chip tells Racer to “say goodbye and get outta my town”. Racer’s best friend, Crash, comes to the ring and the two embrace. Racer says a few words to the fans and both men leave the ring. As Crash is on the apron, Chip returns and knocks him off the apron with this billy club. He gets in a couple of good shots before Racer pulls him off. He tells Racer to be careful. Since he’s no longer in the company, he can be arrested for assaulting a LEO. Chip then tells Crash that he doesn’t like him either, so he’s going to run him out next.

9. In his second try, El Presidente defeats Average Guy to win the TV Title. EP says afterwards that this proves that people with power are more important to society than the average unimportant loser. Guy wasn’t worthy to wear this gold before, and he won’t ever again. A belt of this magnificence is intended for a waist as magnificent as mine. Guy reminds everyone that he required no help from his teammates to win. Guy has no excuses. I was the better man this night, and every night.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 6/10/81
Chitown Complex
877/40/**

After the intro, we see Mr. Tycoon and Pierre having a heated discussion backstage. Tycoon immediately sees the camera and tells them to leave. The camera guy steps around a corner, but remains there so we have audio. Pierre is saying that he’s had enough of Brohan, and he’s going out there right now to challenge him to a match tonight. Tycoon says this isn’t in the plans we made, but Pierre says the plans have changed. We hear Tycoon “shush” Pierre, and then Pierre steps around the corner. We see a giant hand descend over the camera lens and we hear a muffled shriek.

1. The announcers are previewing tonight’s show when Pierre makes his way to the ring. He says he wants Brohan tonight. Brohan comes out. He says he can will wrestle Pierre right now if Pierre will listen to something he has to say. Pierre agrees. Brohan says that he’s been trying to talk to Pierre for months about the situation that ended their friendship. Thinker never allowed Pierre to listen. Pierre replied that there’s nothing Dude has to say that he wants to hear. Dude says that I can prove there was a plan involving Thinker, Tycoon, and some other people that was intended to drive us apart. You’re being used. Tycoon and Yuppie VP came out, and Tycoon was telling Pierre to ignore Brohan. Brohan clotheslined both men off the apron, but Pierre attacked. Brohan makes a comeback and after a good match, he goes on to win. Tycoon and Yuppie attack Brohan. He fights back. He tells Pierre to listen to him, now or in the future. He wants a promise. Pierre leaves with Tycoon and Yuppie without answering.

2. The Slave Drivers over The Neon Express.

3. Vladimir the Cruel over Danger Zone and Fireball. The Mad Arab attacks Fireball, and Danger Zone helps fight him off. Vlad lays out both Zone and Fireball.

4. In another match in their ongoing rivalry, Princess Starbright defeated Valley Girl.

5. Crash over Cesar Sleeze. Officer Chip attacks Crash after the match. Sleeze tries to help Chip, and Chip accepts the help. As soon as Crash is taken down, Chip smashes Sleeze, saying “stay away from me, you freak!!”

6. Buckingham and Hammerhead are about to give an interview when Iron Mask walks up. He asks them if they are busy. They say yes, and he says that he really didn’t care. He was being professional, but he’s going to have his say regardless of what they’re doing. He says that something Brit said a few weeks ago has been bothering him and now seems a good time to air it out. Brit sarcastically asks if he hurt Mask’s feelings. Mask reminds him of a comment he made that “anyone on his team, or any combination of guys, well, with one exception, can beat any person or team in WoW”. Brit says he recalls saying it and he meant it. Mask asks who the one exception is. Brit asks if Mask thinks its him, because if Mask feels like he isn’t getting the job done then he probably isn’t. Mask replies that he’s doing his job just fine. It’s just that Brit and Hammer haven’t shown him the respect he deserves since he got here. Hammer says that we’ve shown you the respect you’ve earned. If that’s not enough, then you have the problem. With that, Mask is ready to fight. Mother Russia runs up and demands to know what’s going on. Mask says it was nothing, they were just talking. She looks at all three of them and says we’re only as strong as our weakest link. Don’t be that link.

7. In a non-title match, The Blade Blasters defeat Shop of Horrors.

8. Officer Chip is with Rex Spectrum. He’s celebrating the way he ran that punk Racer out of town. Rex says the company is already in a better place without that fool around. Rex says that the way you were working over Crash the other day looks like you make have him in your crosshairs. Chip agrees that Crash is indeed another waste of space in WoW, and it may just be time to open that space up to somebody who isn’t a total loser.

9. Jet Set Strutter’s first defense is a successful one as he retains against the former champ, Arizona Chance.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 6/16/81
Golden Plaza
Great Crowd
799/36/**

1. Ace Arcadium over Ninja Shadow in the opener.

2. Neon Express over Ghoul n’ Goblin

3. In the first of two steel cage matches, Reptile Ranger defeats Pelvis Presley. Before the match, 2 WoW crew members comes to the ring carrying a canvas bag. They set it it just inside the cage door and leave. Ranger pulls a large boa constrictor out of the bag. He examines it, and takes a mic. He tells the two cowards to get their asses down here and in the cage. Presley comes down, but won’t enter the cage if the bag is in there. Ranger hands the bag to the ref who sets it by the more-than-slightly terrified timekeeper’s table. As Ranger is climbing back in the ring, Presley jumps him. After working Ranger over, Presley tells him that the reason you don’t see Boss out here is because Ranger’s not going to win this match and he will never get his hands on Boss. He proves Presley wrong as he stages a comeback and gets the pin with the Down Under DDT. Ranger gets on the mic and tells Boss to get his fat ass in the cage now, or he would come and get him. After a short wait, Ranger says “it’s your funeral, Boss” and heads for the back.

4. We cut to a commercial for the upcoming Tag Team Invitational Tournament at the Puro Dome in 2 weeks. The 8 invited teams are Shop of Horrors, The Executors, The Slave Drivers, The Anti-Americans, The Neon Express, Howl n’ Roar, The American Heroes, and, teaming for the first time in a while, The Adventurers. Just like with March Madness, the winning team will receive a title shot as well as two trophies and a cash prize. The first round will be SoH vs. The Adventurers, The Executors vs. Howl n’ Roar, The Neon Express vs, The Slave Drivers, and The American Heroes vs. The Ant-Americans. At the end of the piece, Michael T. Wolf, Brit Buckingham, Warhawk, and Spazz offered a comment on their team’s chances in the tournament.

5. Spazz over Yuppie VP. Once again, the voice came over the PA. “Zap, be very aware. The time for your reckoning draws very near. You know who I am and what I can do to you, Zap. It’s too late to stop it. To stop me. The best you can do is survive me, Zap, and pray you learn a little something from the lesson.”

6. O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open, and he introduces Dude Brohan. Brohan says that he’s got something for Pierre to see. He knows Pierre is watching, so he doesn’t really care if he comes face to face or not. Dude calls for the footage to be played. It’s from May 17th, 1980, and it’s a match between Mr. Tycoon and Pierre for the TV Title. Tycoon retains when the ref uses an obvious fast count and Pierre’ shoulders arent’ all the way down. He then asks to show the other footage. It’s security camera footage dated 5/17/80. Brohan says to notice the date and time. It’s the afternoon of the show that the TV title match occurred on. We see Thinker, Tycoon, and the ref in the aforementioned match talking. There’s no sound, but then Tycoon hands the ref an envelope. The ref starts to open it and Tycoon says something sternly and places his hand over the envelope. Before his hands covers it, we can see it’s full of cash. The threesome then go their separate ways. We are back in the Pub. Brohan asks O’ Hooligan what that looked like. O’ Hooligan weakly replied that it could be anything. Brohan said it was a payoff. “That match was fixed by Thinker and Tycoon, but Thinker tried to imply to Pierre that I was behind it. This was just another step in what his plan to drive this wedge between us. It obviously worked. At this point, I’m not interested in being friends again. You’re too far gone, Pierre. I just wanted to show you what scumbag weasels your new partners are. Brohan was headed off when Pierre and Tycoon entered. Pierre told Brohan that he didn’t even care if Tycoon screwed him over. He called Brohan a poison in his life, and said that if the Thinker and Tycoon helped him shed that poison then they did him a favor. He said that not being in Brohan’s shadow was liberating. Brohan said that Pierre might be tall, but he’s no more than a little punk. Pierre took a swing at Brohan and Tycoon tried to attack him. O’ Hooligan jumped in the middle yelling about not being able to afford another set. Tycoon slugged O’ Hooligan, and they started fighting. Pierre and Brohan pulled them apart.

7. Ruffian and Johnny Kobra are backstage bullying crew members. Zap walks by. Ruffian starts imitating the mystery voice, calling out to Zap. Zap calmly walks over, spin kicks Ruffian in the face, and walks away.

8. The Insectoid over The Slave Drivers when The Neon Express distract them and L’il Thuggee gets pinned with the Cootie Shuffle.

9. In the second steel cage match of the night, Almighty Dolla defeats Lyndi Harker.

The announcers are signing off when we hear a man screaming. A golf cart comes through the entrance and down the aisle. Reptile Ranger is driving and Boss is hog tied in the back. Ranger drives up to the ring. He unloads Boss and carries him to the cage door where he rolls him in. He unties Boss’ hands and feet, and lets him run around a bit before grabbing him. Ranger is more about embarrassing Boss than hurting him. After a few minutes, a battered looking Pelvis Presley staggers to the ring. He tries the locked door. He then starts to climb the cage. He gets over the top, but about a third of the way down on the inside he loses his grip and falls at Ranger’s feet with a thud. He DDTs Boss and Presley and leaves them in the middle of the ring. He then leaves the ring and retrieves the canvas bag that’s still at ringside. He reenters the ring and dumps the giant boat onto both Presley’s and Boss’ bodies. Boss stays completely stunned, but Presley comes to. We fade out on a scene of Presley screaming in fear and Ranger and the fans having a good laugh as the snake slithers all over the two men.