JWA Crash Carnival 2023 - JWA Women's World Championship

[Kip Whistler]

Hardcore Rules 3 Way Match for the JWA Women's World Championship - One Fall, No Time Limit
Daisy Turner (c) vs. Veronica Chance vs. Bambi Bambino

[Bambi Bambino]

The fans boo as Bambi Bambino makes her way to the ring while "Rag Doll" by Aerosmith blares over the loudspeakers. Bambi is wearing a sleeveless white half-shirt and tight blue jeans, with white knee pads and the pants tucked into black wrestling boots. She does, however, still have a purple headband

LERAY: Bambi looks ready for a fight here tonight.

BEEMAN: It's a coin flip for me between Daisy and Bambi, and now that I've seen that Bambi is taking this seriously, I may need to change my pick.

LERAY: Bambi doesn't have Yuppie with her tonight, although because of the rules of this match it's possible he'll make an appearance.

BEEMAN: You gotta do what it takes to win, Mick. If Yuppie gets involved there's nothing Daisy or Veronica can do about it!

LERAY: Will the stipulation Daisy called for come back to bite her? I guess we're about to find out!

[Thumper Moore III]

Dynamite by BTS begins to play, and the arena is bathed in red, yellow, blue, and green spotlights as Veronica Chance dances her way toward ringside, sans Arizona.

LERAY: the second challenger is on her way to the ring, and she seems to have a lot more support than Bambi.

BEEMAN: I’m so tired of this fan support thing. Bambi is the toughest woman in this match, BECAUSE she doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

LERAY: We await the champion.

[Bambi Bambino]

Veronica is facing the entrance way and Bambi decides not to wait for Daisy and nails Veronica with a running dropkick to the back of the head

BEEMAN: Brilliant move by Bambino!

LERAY: The match hasn't even started yet, Beeman!

BEEMAN: So what? There's no disqualifications, right? Why not get a head start by beating up one of your opponents! I told you Veronica doesn't have a CHANCE of winning, didn't I?

LERAY: Oh brother.

Bambi throws Veronica through the ropes to the floor, then follows her out. On the floor Bambi Irish whips Veronica into the guardrail, then charges at her and takes her up and over with a cross body. Both women topple into the front row as the crowd goes wild

[Daisy Turner]

Just a Girl by No Doubt is playing and Daisy enters with a shopping cart full of weapons. She sees the action going on outside the ring

Daisy: I like how this is going but lets make it more fun.

She whacks Bambi with a stop sign and throws her back in the ring and a kick to Veronica. She looks inside her shopping cart to get a singular Ice Skate.

Beeman: What is she going to do with an Ice Skate?

Leray: I don't know but I don't like how this is going.

She's got Bambi in one hand and the skate in another and Slices Bambi open with the blade.

Beeman: The match only started and we already have blood.

Daisy smears a bit of Bambi's blood on her face and amps up the crowd as they cheer. Veronica grabs a kendo stick and whacks Daisy on the back now Veronica is in control. 

[Bambi Bambino]

While Daisy and Veronica are battling each other, Bambi is lying next to the ring stairs with blood cascading down her face. Yuppie VP rushes from the back with a towel and a first aid kit

LERAY: I know this is a hardcore rules match, but I don't think anyone expected this level of violence.

BEEMAN: I guess we're going to find out how tough these three women really are. Thank goodness Yuppie is here to get Bambi patched up so she can get back in the fight.

After a few moments, Bambi stands up and staggers toward Daisy and Veronica. Her head is now wrapped in gauze and tape

LERAY: Bambi grabs both Daisy and Veronica by the backs of their heads and slams them together!

BEEMAN: Double Noggin Knocker! I love it!

LERAY: Bambi rolls Daisy into the ring and goes for a La Magistral Cradle but Daisy escapes at two. Veronica has made her way back into the ring and for the first time in this match all three women are in the ring.

BEEMAN: That won't last long, I assure you.

[Daisy Turner]

All 3 women have a staredown. The crowd is loving it. They look to their left opponent and their right. All three women then exit the ring in sync and look under the ring for weapons. Bambi grabs a steel chair, Veronica grabs another Kendo Stick while Daisy is still searching for the right weapon

Beeman: Daisy is wasting a lot of time to find a weapon. Just pick one and stick with it. I see a table right there c'mon take it!

Bambi and Veronica head back to the ring when Veronica uses the stick as a fencing sword, she even gets into pose and starts charging towards Bambi who is weirded out and walks away while Veronica is chasing her. Bambi quickly gets her chair and whacks Veronica over the head as Veronica hits Bambi over the head. Both girls are down and Daisy finally has a plan. She kicks the stairs

Beeman: What is she doing now? kicking stairs wont help you retain your Women's Championship.

Leray: That's right Beeman but I don't think she is kicking it for nothing. Looks what was hiding under the stairs

Beeman: It's just some bag so what?

Leray: Don't you know what's in those bags 9 times out of 10?

Beeman: I don't know sand?

Leray: Worse

Daisy gets in the ring, opens the bag and pours out what was in.

Both: THUMBTACKS!!!

[Bambi Bambino]

Daisy walks over to the two fallen women and picks up Veronica. She walks her over to the pile of tacks covering the ring mat

LERAY: Turner has evil intentions as she appears to be setting Veronica up for a Gory Bomb.

BEEMAN: Gory is the right word for it!

LERAY: Veronica fights it and gets her feet on the ground. Wait a minute! Bambi is back up and she sweeps the legs out from under Daisy & Veronica whose arms are still entwined!

BEEMAN: I can’t watch! Tell me when it’s over!

LERAY: Oh my! Bambi rolls Daisy & Veronica over onto their shoulders into a double pin on the tacks! Nearly a three count! We almost had a new champion!

BEEMAN: Wasn’t that bandage on Bambi’s head white before?

LERAY: Yes, it seems the injury she sustained from the skate blade is worse than we thought, as it’s soaked through the hastily applied bandage. How much longer can Bambi stay in this one?

BEEMAN: How much longer can ANY of these competitors last in these conditions?

[Daisy Turner]

After being used to tacks on the indies and in Japan, Daisy got up like nothing happened

Beeman: uh, can someone explain how she got up like there isn't any thumbtacks all over her back?

Leray: I don't know but if that's not gonna work, what will work?

Bambi kicks her down and delivers a chair shot to the head. Daisy while a bit hazy tells her to keep going

Beeman: Is this woman insane!?

Bambi keeps going but during one of the shots Daisy dodges, she punches Bambi in the gut and stuns her. Daisy picks up the chair throws it to Bambi who catches it then proceeds to hit the Van Daminator. Daisy sees the thumbtacks and has an idea

Leray: I don't like that smile on her face

Beeman: What is she thinking?

She takes a handful of thumbtacks and pours them into Bambi's mouth

Beeman: no no no no no don't you dare Daisy

She gets ready for the superkick but that's when Veronica gets back up and dropkicks Daisy out of the ring pushing the tacks further into Daisy's skin

Leray: Thank you thank you thank you Veronica I don't think I could've watched th-

Veronica decides to superkick Bambi instead

Both: AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Veronica goes for the pin 1, 2, But no! Daisy hits a Shooting Star Press and saves the pin.

Leray: All three women are on the ground. This match could go on forever. Thank god for that No Time Limit. There will be a winner crowned.

[Bambi Bambino]

Bambi is on the outside of the ring and Yuppie returns along with medical staff. She’s visibly leaking blood through her head wrapping

LERAY: Bambi has been taking a brutal beating in this match and it’s possible that she may need to be taken out of it. There’s no need to risk her life. No title is worth that.

BEEMAN: But does Bambi have more guts than brains?

LERAY: It appears that Bambi is being escorted away from the ring so that the medical staff can get a closer look.

In the ring Veronica hits a kendo stick assisted Russian Leg Sweep on Daisy

LERAY: Chance with a version of Beer Can Man’s White Russian Leg Sweep!

BEEMAN: It’s hard to improve on a classic, Mick.

LERAY: Cover by Chance but only a two!

BEEMAN: At least Daisy and Veronica only need to worry about each other for the rest of this match.

LERAY: Don’t speak too soon, Beeman, because here comes Bambi Bambino and she’s got… what is that?

BEEMAN: Is that a?

LERAY: It’s a framed portrait of Kip Whistler! Bambi slides into the ring and OH MY GOODNESS! Bambi cracks the portrait over Veronica’s head! Broken glass is everywhere and Veronica is staggering around with her head sticking through!

BEEMAN: Whistler never looked better!

LERAY: Daisy springs to life and school girls Veronica but Bambi breaks it up immediately!

BEEMAN: Bambi’s got a fresh, professional bandage on her head now and she looks pissed!

LERAY: Indeed, and now Bambi is setting Daisy up for something, perhaps a double under hook suplex - No! Back body drop by Turner and Bambi lands right in the thumbtacks!

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: Veronica is miraculously back to her feet as Bambi is writhing in pain. She picks up Daisy— OH NO! A page from her husband’s book— a modified Michinoku driver. Into the tacks!

BEEMAN: The top of her head is a pin cushion.

LERAY: Veronica with the cover— ONLY A ONE COUNT! The crowd goes nuts!

BEEMAN: Uh-oh. Chance has awoken the sleeping monster.

LERAY: Veronica grabs a handful of tacks as Daisy hulks up! Veronica is begging off into the corner— Daisy starts pummeling Veronica, who is reeling. Daisy whips Veronica into the corner, she staggers out with her arms flailing. Daisy charges and Veronica trips her, face first into the second turnbuckle— Daisy is screaming! What just happened?!?

BEEMAN: Let’s check the replay— holy Jesus, what a brutal move. I’m shocked she went there.

LERAY: The replay shows the arm flailing was a ploy— Veronica deposited the tacks onto the turnbuckle she dropped Daisy’s face into! Daisy finally pulls away— her face is a crimson mask! Tacks in the forehead, tacks on the top of her head— she’s going to set a new Muta scale here!

BEEMAN: Bambi is back!

LERAY: Bambi has a handful of tacks— she chops Veronica I’m the chest! Veronica is screaming— and a dropkick from Bambi into the tacks in Chance’s chest! Oh my goodness, what brutality we’ve seen!!

[Bambi Bambino]

Bambi takes Veronica out of the corner with a bulldog headlock into the center of the ring. Daisy comes at Bambi but Bambi nails her with a jawbreaker

LERAY: For the first time in this match we're seeing Bambi Bambino go on a sustained run of offense.

BEEMAN: She needs to isolate one woman if she wants to win, otherwise the other competitor is just going to break things up.

LERAY: Bambi now uses the ropes for leverage to lift Daisy Turner up seated on her shoulders. Could she be looking for the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex like we saw in her match with Veronica?

BEEMAN: I hope not! That move took everything out of Bambi!

Bambi walks toward the center of the ring and pauses with Daisy on her shoulders. Suddenly Bambi begins to stagger backward, and when she bumps into the ropes she drops Daisy off her shoulders and Daisy crashes through the announce desk at ringside

LERAY: Are we still on? Can you hear me, Sean?

BEEMAN: Who cares? Is Daisy Turner still alive after that fall?

[Daisy Turner]

Beeman: MEDIC!!!

Medics arrive and they go to put Daisy on a stretcher. they get her on and stretcher her out but halfway through the ramp there seems to be some struggles

Beeman: What is going on there why aren't they taking her out?

Leray: It appears that Daisy doesn't want to go. She wants to continue the match!

Beeman: This woman is insane!

Leray: That walk she is doing is reminding me of Troglo back in 1998.

Daisy walks back into the ring but she stops to look in her shopping cart.

Beeman: She still wants to use weapons. By god, Her back is covered in tacks, she has a tack face and she just went through our table and she's not done!?

Leray: By god she's got a 2x4 but wrapped in barbed wire.

Beeman: What is she doing now?

Leray: I don't know, but she obviously doing something to that barbed wired 2x4

Daisy head to the crowd and grabs a lighter from a member of the audience. She sets the 2x4 on fire.

Leray: No. Freaking. Way!

Beeman: Screw insane this woman is deranged! First, Ice skates then Thumbtacks, Then Bambi used that Kip portrait, then our announce table now FIRE!

Leray: She is going to all the lengths to retain her championship

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: Veronica struggles back to her feet and sees Daisy— she rolls to out other side of the ring.

BEEMAN: Discretion is the better part of valor.

LERAY: Bambino is up, she also rolls out.

BEEMAN: Smart move.

LERAY: Both women digging under the ring— Bambi emerges first with a fire extinguisher!

BEEMAN: Brilliant!

LERAY: And Veronica comes out with a table! She shoves it into the ring and starts digging again as Bambi and Daisy roll into the ring and face off. They’re screaming at each other. Veronica comes out from under the ring with… OH MY GOD. LIGHTER FLUID.

BEEMAN: Call the fire department!

LERAY: Veronica rolls in and sets up the table while her opponents are distracted— she pours the lighter fluid on the table. Daisy swings at Bambi, who misses, and Bambi sprays the extinguisher in Daisy’s face, and the 2x4 is put out! Daisy is reeling, but OH NO! A spark from the flame his ignited the table! Veronica grins maniacally! Bambi tries to spray the extinguisher but it was used up on the 2x4! Bambi is horrified! Daisy wipes away the flame retardant— she sees the table and she grins! Veronica and Daisy approach Bambi, who is screaming in terror!

BEEMAN: NO! Stop this now!

LERAY: Bambi is kicked by both women and lifted onto the turnbuckle— are they going to suplex Bambi through the flaming table?

[Bambi Bambino]

In a rare moment of cooperation, Daisy and Veronica heave Bambi through the flaming table. Bambi briefly catches on fire, and she rolls around manically to put out the flames. In all the commotion, her bandage has once again come loose and blood resumes pouring from her skate wound. Daisy and Veronica shake hands in the ring before resuming their battle, but medical staff rush to ringside to tend to Bambi

LERAY: Fans, I know the match is continuing and it's all very exciting, but Bambi Bambino is legitimately injured. She's not only done in this match, she might done PERIOD. I am not one for hyperbole. This might have been Bambi's last match.

BEEMAN: It's easy to get caught up in all this madness, but the safety of the athletes need to remain a top focus.

LERAY: Hold on, the referee seems to be pausing the action. He's listening to his earpiece. Perhaps a message from Mr. Whistler?

BEEMAN: While that's happening, poor Bambi is getting carted out of here by paramedics. But hey, look on the bright side.

LERAY: Bright side?

BEEMAN: I've narrowed down my pick to win. I'm going with Daisy Turner to retain!

LERAY: WOULD YOU STOP!