JWA Glory Episode 156 - Six-Man Mayhem Tag Title Match

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

We're feeling the fallout from Super Glory last week, and tonight's main event is a direct result of last week's event. Due to the less than satisfactory conclusion of the World Tag Team Championship match last week, which saw involvement from outside parties, I decided to let those outside parties legally be involved in the match. That's why tonight the tag titles are on the line in a special Six-man Mayhem match! Duke Mongoose and Penguino will be teaming up with Johnny Kobra to defend the titles against Big Waves and their partner, Troglo! Now, we all saw that there seemed to be some issue amongst the Big Waves camp, because after laying out Johnny Kobra with a Superkick, Shredsbury also laid out Troglo. Hopefully Chesterton and his "Trogbro" have ironed things out in the interim. While there might be some trouble on the challengers' side, it appears that Mongoose and Penguino may have become closer as partners. We saw the champions operating on the same page for the first time in their history as a team at Super Glory, and it could be bad news for Big Waves if they continue that way tonight. And to ensure that we settle this issue, it's an anything-goes match! We MUST have a winner!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

"Relentless" Conor Caine managed to hang on to the JWA World Heavyweight Championship in a close victory over Tommy End. It was either man's match to win, but Caine came out on top in the end. These two never seem to disappoint when they're in the ring, one-on-one. But now we ask the question: who's the next challenger for The Relentless One? Who will step up, separate themselves from the pack, and declare their intention to take the belt from Caine? And what's next for The Dutch Destroyer? A loss to Conor Caine is nothing to be ashamed of, especially in as close fought a battle as we had at Super Glory, but End is a proud man. We hope to hear from both of these gladiators during tonight's broadcast.

Daisy Turner is once again the JWA Women's World Champion, defeating her arch nemesis Winter Hex at Super Glory. Daisy has already promised the first title shot to her friend Sakura Watanabe, but I doubt we've heard the last of Winter or Miss Jessie. We may have heard the last of Winter and Miss Jessie as a partnership, however, as it appears Winter no longer wants anything to do with Jessie or Daisy's ex-boyfriend Joel, seemingly putting some degree of blame on them for her loss. 

What was the reason for Tembleberry coming to my office last week? I'm not at liberty to discuss, but perhaps the relevant parties will bring us all up to speed on what exactly is going on with "Lord" Taylor Thorin, Red Pirate Rogers, and his motley crew.

Arizona Chance has been slowly revealing the JWA roster members who will have roles in his upcoming film, but I know that the JWA fans really want to know when The Franchise is getting back in the ring. It seems like ever since he lost his return match with Omega Satyros his attention has been anywhere but inside the ring.

Speaking of Satyros, after seemingly getting the better of The Beeman Family, at least for now, what is next on the Living Myth's agenda?

Fans, tonight we begin the road to Guts & Gory and the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament. Things are about to get very exciting. Let's not waste anymore time. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Cavemen Rejoice plays through the arena and Troglo makes his way to the ring first followed by myself and Chesterton isn't too far behind*

[Duke Mongoose]

("Where My Mouth Is" by Taking Back Sunday plays and the fans boo as Duke Mongoose, Penguino, and Johnny Kobra make their way through the curtain and down toward the ring)

LeRay: Here come the champions, and it's worth noting that Duke is wearing a Penguin Kai dogi. The last time he wore something like that was when he faced Penguino, and he did it to mock him.

Beeman: Duke is trying to show solidarity! He's on board with the whole Penguin Kai thing!

LeRay: I don't think Duke has actually taken any lessons, because as Kobra goes through his Kata, Duke is trying to keep up and he's just embarrassing himself!

Beeman: How many karate lessons have you taken? Huh? Where's your black belt, Mick?

LeRay: You don't need to be a karate master to know that Mongoose looks like a fool up there! And I could ask Duke the same question. Where's his belt?

Beeman: Can't you see it? It's the big gold one up there!

LeRay: Oh brother. Fans, this match is about to get started, and once the bell rings all hell is going to break loose!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*The bell rings and Mick like with most things is correct in his assumption that all heck breaks loose as it rings. with Troglo going after Johnny with his club myself going after Duke with a sweatsock and Chesterton going after Penguino*

[Duke Mongoose]

LeRay: We've got a real Pier Six brawl going on!

Beeman: What does that mean, anyway? I mean, I know Pier One is where they import things...

LeRay: What?

Beeman: LOOK OUT!

(Duke ducks under a lunging Pierre who staggers into the announce position. Meanwhile, Penguino beaks Chesterton causing him to fall through the ropes and land on top of Pierre. Troglo backs Johnny up against the mass of humanity, shaking and waving his club)

LeRay: It's a three car pile-up here in front of us, fans! I knew this would get crazy fast, but this is - hold on, what are they doing?!?!

Beeman: I'm not sure, but I like it!

(Duke picks up Penguino and ascends to the top turnbuckle. While precariously standing on the top rope, Duke presses Penguino over his head, and throws Penguino down onto the heap at ringside, obliterating the announce desk)

LeRay: OH MY GOODNESS! ATOMIC FLYING PENGUIN!

Beeman: Can you still hear me? Is my microphone still working?

LeRay: Unfortunately, yes. Duke is posing and prancing around the ring like he's already won, meanwhile the other five men in this match are laid out in front of us!

Beeman: Yeah, but Duke just has to pick one of them to pin and this match is over!

LeRay: You should try telling him that. There's no urgency in Duke Mongoose.

Beeman: DUKE! PULL SOMEONE IN TO PIN! ALSO, I THINK YOU KILLED PENGUINO!

LeRay: It's carnage, fans! Six-Man Mayhem indeed!

[Penguino]

LeRay "Now Duke Mongoose is dragging Chesterton into the ring and the ultimate dude bro looks out of it.'

Beeman "Smart move taking all the work into his own hands."

LeRay "Maybe but now Troglo and Johnny Kobra are starting to stir and are now getting up."

Troglo and Johnny Kobra get up and Troglo immediately starts giving Kobra some punches for his troubles and Johnny now ducks a punch and Kobra hits some nasty chops.

Beeman "Johnny Kobra is clearly superior to troglo as shown here and it's obvious when you look at his teammates compared to the caveman's.

LeRay "Say it as you may Troglo is getting hit with big kicks and chops from the black belt martial artist and now Penguino and Pierre are starting to get up.

Beeman "Other than that look at Mongoose's genius slowly tearing apart the body of Shredsbury."

LeRay "The surfer from Whales is now coming back though with a clothesline, and now off the ropes with another one, and we've got a repeat offender here sending Duke into the corner and a big splash in the corner before following up with a dropkick. Now look by us as Penguino is attempting to beat down Pierre The Enourmous while on his knees."

Beeman "Johnny Kobra now has taken out Troglo by throwing him over the barricade and into the crowd and now is assisting Penguino in his takedown of the Enourmous One."

LeRay "Now Shredsbury going for the cover in the ring off a bodyslam though but look on the outside as while the referee is distracted by the cover which Mongoose kicks out of, Penguino hits a low blow on Pierre taking him down and now Penguino and Kobra come into the ring to assist Mongoose with the surfer."

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  Shredsbury now leaps puts his hands on the corner ropes and springs up top to deliver a picture perfect Dudesault.

Beeman:  What the hell is a Dudesault?  Is that what you just said?

LeRay:  It's what I saw, Sean!

Beeman:  But Penguino ice slides beak first into Shreds to bust up the count at one!  Hahaha!  I love it!

LeRay:  Excellent tag team timing by the co-champ.  Perhaps some commaraderie truly has developed her.

Beeman:  The commaraderie of victory, LeRay!  It's the only thing that matters!

LeRay:  Meanwhile on the outside of the ring, Troglo has picked up a chair and he's swinging it at Johnny Kobra!

Beeman:  Illegal!

LeRay:  It's anything goes tonight, Sean!

Beeman:  That's an outrage!  Johnny's a defenseless manager!

LeRay:  But Johnny superkicks the chair straight into Troglo's face.  Van Kobranator!

Beeman:  Now that name is great.  What was Troglo thinking going after a two-time all valley champion like that?  Johnny's feet are weapons of mass destruction!

[Pierre The Enormous]

Beeman: Do we get hazard pay for this I thought I was gonna get hit...

Leray: For once I agree with you....

*Troglo is woozy after the Van Kobranator*

Troglo: Troglo.... dizzy.... *he starts wildly swinging his arms and he clocks Johnny in the jaw*

Leray: That's gonna leave a shiner....

Beeman: That hurt just looking at it....

[Thumper Moore III]

Prior to the main event…

The arena goes dark as the opening bars of Hysteria by Muse begin to play. As the guitar joins, a single spotlight silhouettes Arizona, and the lights come on as the full band joins, bathing the arena in white light. Arizona slowly makes his way to the ring as the first verse plays, and he rolls into the ring just before the chorus hits. On the giant screen, a karaoke-like lyric screen appears, seemingly egging the crowd into singing along:

“I want it now, I want it nooooow
Give me your heart and your soul GOLD!
I’m not breaking down, I’m breaking ouuuuuut
Last chance to lose GAIN controoooool!”

The crowd began to realize it was now a singalong about halfway through, and even picked up on the subtle lyric changes by the end of the chorus. Arizona grabbed a microphone as the music faded out. “You guys like the singalong?” The crowd roared its approval. “I thought you would. It’s funny how two words change and that song is about me. You guys have given me your heart, I go after gold, and I sure want it now. I’m getting older, but I’m not breaking down. I am breaking out, and it’s time I gained back some control.” The crowd roared with each line, clearly digging the new commitment.

“But, that being said, I’ve been giving you sneak peeks of the Sundial of Fate each of the past couple weeks, and today is no exception. Two men I admire greatly have agreed to be a part of this project, and they will hold key supporting roles in the film.

First, a man who needs no introduction… but he’s going to get one anyway. Playing the role of Macon Wright, a tough American ex-pat, tending bar in Kuala Lumpur, will be none other than your JWA World Champion, Conor Caine!”

Caine comes from behind the curtain, not to the cinematic score that had accompanied the previous announcements, but to his own theme. Dressed for his role in a short sleeved button down shirt, khaki slacks, and a huge gold necklace, Caine marched to the ring and rolled under the ropes. Chance greeted Caine with a hearty shake and a three-pat bro hug, while mouthing “This isn’t what we talked about” under his breath.

“And secondly, and I’d like to invite him to the ring as well, playing the role of my friendly competition and famed treasure hunter Drake Meriweather, he may be a scallywag but he’s a hell of a friend— Red Pirate Rogers!”

Dressed in a dashing ensemble coiffed by a feathered pith helmet, Red came out to the orchestral music from the movie score and paused at the top of the ramp before being beckoned to the ring by Arizona. Arizona greets him with a big hug, whispering “somebody called an audible” to him.

“So, folks, feast your eyes on the latest additions to the cast of The Sundial of Fate! More will be revealed as pre-production comes to a close!” Arizona takes Red and Conor and directs them to bow to the crowd, which they oblige. Red exits the ring first, and as Arizona tries to leave next, he feels a meaty paw stop him…

[Daisy Turner]

(during the main event backstage)

Toni: I am here with the AOE Hardcore Champion Sakura Watanabe and the JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner. So it seems we all know what's going on, what are the bets

Daisy: Well I'm putting my bet on Big Waves and Troglo

Sakura: 何？ それは私の選択です。

Daisy: Well I said it first so too bad

Sakura: それは不公平です。 チェスタトンと話した後、私は彼のチームに賭けていると伝えました。

Toni: Here take this coin, winner gets Big Waves as their bet, loser gets Duke, Penguino & Kobra

Toni flips the coin and they both call it

Daisy: Tails never fails

Sakura: 頭。

The coin lands on Heads

Sakura: ははは！ 私の勝ちです。

Daisy: Dammit! Okay. Duke, Penguino, Johnny destroy them. My choice is in your hands.

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

(Prior to Main Event)

Toni: I am here with the Former JWA Women's Wo-

Winter: Hush! Don't you dare mention me like that

Toni: Sorry, but it's true-

Winter: I frankly don't give a crap. You will address me formally and correctly but enough about that ask away with your dumb question

Toni: Well. It's not dumb bu-

Winter: Toni. When has your questions never been dumb? *Silence* Yeah that's what I thought so ask away

Toni: Ok. During the JWA.Com Exclusive we saw you break up with Joel and break away from Miss Jessie. Can you explain that a bit further?

Winter: Well, they were holding me back. Keyword: WERE. That's because I want nothing to do with those two. And know I have only one thing on my mind. That's not to take back the JWA Women's World Championship. My goal is to break, destroy, eliminate those brats known as Daisy Turner and Sakura Watanabe.

Toni: But you know it will be hard to do it alone. Seems like getting rid of Miss Jessie and Joel was a bad idea

Winter: Yes I understand that. But those two brain-headed twits would've made it harder. I need to find someone who actually has a brain and who can hold their own against at least one of them-

Toni: Well I guess that's all the time we have, sorry to cut you off Winter but the production team is telling me to wrap it up. Now you can go find that special person.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Sept 19, 2023 21:10:11 GMT -5 Thumper Moore III said:

Prior to the main event…

...Red exits the ring first, and as Arizona tries to leave next, he feels a meaty paw stop him…

Conor has his hand on Chance's shoulder, a wide smile on his face; Chance looks confused. Caine mouths a few words of reassurance as, with his free hand, he reaches for Chance's mic.

CAINE: I wanna start by apologising, because this wasn't part of the program and I'm gonna force this segment to run a little long. Still, I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by: I have something I need to say to you, A.Z.

Chance still looks confused but nods for Conor to go ahead.

CAINE: When I was a kid, my grandfather would take me to the movies all the time and I'd sit in awe of you on the silver screen: your charm; your spirit; your strength. You've been an idol to me my whole life and to think that I'm going to share the silver screen with you, in one of the most iconic franchises of all time? It's a dream come true, and I just wanted to say thank you.

Caine reaches out a hand to Chance and they shake, sharing a few words another bro-pat hug. Chance raises Caine's arm to cheers from the crowd and the goes to leave, but Conor doesn't let go of Chance's hand. Chance looks to Caine, confused again, and the cheers come to an end almost instantly. Caine raises the mic.

CAINE: I wasn't finished.

Chances looks around as the audience lets out a collective "Ooooh" of anticipation...

CAINE: Sharing the screen with you is a dream I couldn't have imagined coming true, and I'm grateful beyond words to you, A.Z. But there's another lifelong dream I've had that I've been working towards making a reality my entire wrestling career. You see, aside from taking me to the movies, my grandfather also watched pro wrestling with me, and when I saw you between the ropes I instantly knew "This man is my hero. I want to be like him and, some day... I want to wrestle him."

The fans cheer.

CAINE: It's one thing to share the silver screen with you, Arizona, but it would mean the world to me to share the ring with you. You came out here tonight and told these people you want the gold. I'm glad to hear it, because I've been carrying the JWA World Title around for a while now, wondering all along when you were going to start chasing it. So what do you say, you and me for the JWA Heavyweight title?

The fans erupt at the prospect of the match. Caine and Chance look around as they cheer, then back to one another. Chance is giving nothing away, he reaches out for the mic and Caine hands it to him...

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  With the craziness going on right in front of us it's almost hard to see the action in the ring!  But it appears Duke Mongoose is holding Chesterton from behind and Penguino comes off the second rope and delivers a nasty elbow-- er-- flipper to the face of the Dude of Wales.

Beeman:  Shredsbury is in a bad way now, LeRay!

LeRay:  There's no doubt about it.  And Duke seems to want to switch roles now.  He's encouraging Penguino to hold Chesterton while he comes off the ropes. 

Beeman:  This is gonna hurt, LeRay!

LeRay:  They've got him set up.  But Pierre chops Mongoose off the ropes, so hard he tumbles over the ropes and out to the arena floor.  Penguino's eyes dart back and forth from the Enormous one, to his felled partner.  The humanoid man-bird looks nervous now.

Beeman:  Haha!  But here comes his pal Johnny Kobra to save the day.  Watch the foot work!  Roundhouse kick to Pierre!  Palm strike!  Yeah, Johnny!  Put him in a body bag!

LeRay:  Um... Sean.  None of Johnny's hits seem to be phasing Pierre a great deal.

Beeman:  What?  How?  Huh?

[Omega Satyros]

Sept 20, 2023 3:53:11 GMT -5 “The Relentless” Conor Caine said:

CAINE: It's one thing to share the silver screen with you, Arizona, but it would mean the world to me to share the ring with you. You came out here tonight and told these people you want the gold. I'm glad to hear it, because I've been carrying the JWA World Title around for a while now, wondering all along when you were going to start chasing it. So what do you say, you and me for the JWA Heavyweight title?

The fans erupt at the prospect of the match. Caine and Chance look around as they cheer, then back to one another. Chance is giving nothing away, he reaches out for the mic and Caine hands it to him...

Andomeda plays for a moment before Omega walks out and cuts it off

Omega: Hold on a minute. I absolutely don't mean to be disrespectful to either of you. Arizona, we bled together in that ring last month, I know what you can do in that ring. Conor, you've had one on the greatest championship reigns I've ever seen, you've taken down just about any challenger. I have no doubt that Arizona Chance vs. Conor Caine would be a match for the ages.

His voice hitches for a moment.

Omega: but I can't wrap my head around one thing. It might be absurd for me to make this claim, but I'd argue I have more of a right to challenge for that title. Not only did I win my paper-view debut in JWA by crunching Chief Buffalo through a table, a man who was going to be facing you for the title, up until "Lord" Taylor Thorin managed to steal a win in a strap match from you two weeks before Fortune & Glory Conor, but I also took down Arizona in that brutal match one month ago on Glory in my return from injury, and his return from sabbatical.

Diablo comes out to try and dissuade Omega, but he brushes his trainer and mentor off and starts walking towards the pair in the ring

Omega: No, this needs to be said. If anyone at this point in time has a claim to a title match with "Relentless" Conor Caine, it's me. I not only deserve that shot, I need that opportunity. You can't tell me that I beat the man who was the planned #1 contender, then I beat the man who's now the planned #1 contender, and I just have to sit idly and wait my turn.

Omega finally enters the ring

Omega: I, understand the desire to share the ring with a legend of this business like Arizona, and the desire to reward his long, successful career. So, I don't necessarily want to take that away. But, if anyone deserves a shot at that gold at Guts and Gory, it's me.

[Thumper Moore III]

Sept 20, 2023 6:26:09 GMT -5 Omega Satyros said:

But, if anyone deserves a shot at that gold at Guts and Gory, it's me.

Arizona asks for Omega’s microphone politely, and he obliges, handing it over to the former champ.

“Omega Satyros, you come out here blabbing about one victory over one guy who hadn’t wrestled in three months and try to say that means something? Well here’s the deal, pal—“ Arizona puts his finger in Omega’s chest aggressively, but then a big smile goes across his face.

“You’re right.” Satyros nods his approval as Caine waits to see where this is going.

“You did pin my shoulders to the mat here in the middle of this ring after we gave each other everything we could handle. So, you are absolutely right in saying you deserve a title shot more than me right now, and I’ve only got one person to blame for that.” Arizona finally removes his finger from Satyros’s chest and points at himself. “Me.”

“So, Conor, as much as I love to chase the gold, I cannot in good conscience jump the line just because you admire me. But I WILL earn a shot soon, and we can have that dream match.”