JWA Glory Episode 160 - Special 5 vs 5 Match

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

For this week's main event we've got a special 5 vs 5 tag team match featuring teams led by "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Red Pirate Rogers. Some weeks ago Rogers and his crew invaded the personal locker room of his Lordship, and what followed was a brutal assault by the group now known as the East India Trading Company. "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Tembleberry have recruited Nic Blunt, The Punter and Vegas Viggins to round out their team, and we've seen footage of some of their intense training sessions. Will it be enough to defeat Red Pirate Rogers and his Colorful Crew, that being Vinny Bambino, Kenny Wynn, Chase Victory and Peter Dombrowski?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Last week Daisy Turner successfully retained the JWA Women's World Championship in a tables match against Sakura Watanabe. Now, Daisy can turn her attention to her upcoming Halloween Costume Contest at Guts & Gory in two weeks. Meanwhile, Sakura will be facing Artemis in her pay per view debut. Artemis has seemingly allied herself with Winter Hex, which could spell trouble for Sakura and Daisy. Speaking of Winter Hex, she'll be facing her former associate Miss Jessie, who has become a protege of sorts of Chief Buffalo, at Guts & Gory as well.

Bad Luck Bradley has made his intentions clear... relatively speaking. He wants to win championship gold, as well as the J-1 Pinnacle, in order to earn more money to help with the work he's been doing to help the members of The Compound. Duke Mongoose outright refused Brad's challenge for a tag title match, and as much as it pains me to agree with him, I agree with Duke. Brad and his partner Seph Kobane have no record as a team to speak of in JWA. To rectify this, I have booked a non-title match for next week pitting Duke & Penguino against Bradley & Kobane. Should the Bad Luck Bros win, they'll be granted a World Tag Team Championship match at the conclusion of the J-1 Pinnacle tournament in December.

Speaking of Penguino, he'll have his hands full seeking vengeance on the man now known as Chad Shredsbury in the first ever Penguin Kai Karate Fight at Guts & Gory. Will that match have any impact on Penguino's focus during the tag match that will be happening just one week prior? I suppose we'll find out next week.

Bad Luck Bradley isn't the only member of the JWA roster who has made their intentions to enter and win the J-1 known. We know that Duke Mongoose, Tommy End, and Omega Satyros are all entered as well. Despite his lack of experience in JWA, Satyros should prove to be a tough opponent for anyone finding themselves in his group. Could Satyros go on a run like Mack Caliber did in his rookie year two years ago?

Arizona Chance and "Relentless" Conor Caine continue on their path toward the main event of Guts & Gory. We expect to hear from both men during tonight's broadcast.

We also hope to hear from Pierre The Enormous, who has been quiet ever since Chad Shredsbury attacked Penguin Kai, also seemingly dissolving Big Waves in the process.

Let's get this show underway! Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*I lumber my way to the podium*

Pierre: Sal I'll keep this brief....

Sal: The podium is yours

Pierre: Chesterton.... Chad... whatever you go by now... I considered you a little brother.... now you're nothing but scum.....

Sal: With those unminced words from Pierre I'm Honest Sal and that's the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth

[Omega Satyros]

The fans attention turn to the Jerktron, a vignette playing

The camera focuses in on Omega in the gym with Diablo and Troglo.

Troglo: Mask Friend ready?

Omega: (Between punches)  I will be. The J-1's mine.

Diablo: Don't overdo it, last thing you need is losing more time to injury.

Omega: The last thing I need is losing the J-1. I was this close to getting the gold two weeks ago. I can't let this slip through my fingers too.

Troglo: Troglo hope Mask Friend does well. Huggy too.

Omega: Well thank you both. It's going to be one hell of a gauntlet.

---

OMEGA'S MANIA INVITATIONAL SERIES CONTINUES.

THREE WEEKS REMAINING

10-21: Gavin Sterling
10-28: Greg Renaud and Cedric LeClerc
11-4: ...

[Daisy Turner]

Toni: I'm here with the JWA Women's World Champion, Daisy Turner

Daisy shows with a chorus of cheers

Toni: Now Daisy, seeing that you are holding the Halloween Costume Contest. I just want to know is there a prize for the winner

Daisy: Toni who do you think I am. Of course there is a prize. But I don't want to spoil it so lets turn the microphone off and I'll show you backstage

Toni: Ok

Daisy walks off and Toni secretly turns the mic back on so we can hear everything

Toni: Oh my gosh!

Daisy: Yeah I know. It's a lot of money but it give them something to work hard for amiright.

Toni: I mean we expected money after Artemis's promo but I didn't think I ever expected that!

Daisy: Wait wait wait. Artemis said there would be a cash prize?

Toni: Yeah didn't you see JWA Mani- Oh that's right you were watching Sakura's match at Killies. Well oops.

Daisy: You've got to be kidding me. I saved up a lot of money for this and now it's ruined. I've got to find something else.

Toni: Well I guess the hunt continues for Daisy. Soon I'll see if I can get in touch with Winter Hex

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Ken Winkle takes the mic and it's time for the main event

Wink: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is tonight's Main Event. Now coming to the ring (Cannon's Blast and "I am.a Pirate King" begins to play) weighing in at a combined 1,118 pounds. Coming from the seven seas under the command of the Red Pirate Rogers...Kenny Wynn, Chase Victory, Peter Dombrowski and Vinny Bambino the COLOR CREW!!

(It's the loudest ovation that most of the men have ever gotten, and they take a moment to savor the sensation, before they start to walk down the aisle)

LeRay: Well Sean, here we go the biggest, wildest, tag melee we have ever seen in the JWA over one ton of weight on either side of the ring, we're going to be seeing a bit of a wild one tonight.

Sean: Well, neither group is as impressive as the Beeman family, but m'Lord Taylor Thorin has assembled an impressive collection of talent, they'll easily squash Rogers' collection of bilgerats.

LeRay: I don't think I agree with you, Kenny and Chase had your Malarkey brothers beaten until you cheated, and Peter Dombrowski looked like a powerhouse last time we saw him on Mania.

Sean: But did either of them get the win? No sir. You know what they say, you can put lipstick on a pig...and I'd bet Rogers has.

LeRay: Oh please! (Rogers holds the ropes for his crew who step inside and let the song crescendo as there's a final cannon blast of fake pyrotechnics and the assembled crew bows in Rogers' signature style.)

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

Toni knocks on the Women's Locker Room door. The door opens to find Winter Hex alone

Toni: Oh Winter, it's just you?

Winter: Well, Daisy went to find another gift, Sakura is making some promotional video, Artemis is... I don't know and Miss Jessie is probably sucking face in the Men's Locker Room. Why do you ask?

Toni: Oh no reason. I was hoping to get an interv- *looks at the TV* What are you watching?

Winter: Oh I'm just watching one of my favourite movies, Casablanca. It's such a classic. But anyways on with the interview

Toni: Well I was just hoping you'd tell us about your Falls Count Anywhere match with Miss Jessie a-

Winter: Look, that match doesn't concern me. We all know I'm going to squash Miss Jessie, which mean we won't be able to explore much which is why I'm personally inviting Miss Jessie to start the match right here in the Women's Locker Room

Toni: Wait you mean like right now?

Winter: Oh special Toni, not right now. I'm talking about the Women's Locker at Guts & Gory and, I'm busy right now

Winter sits back on the couch to continue watching Casablanca. Toni exits the locker room

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

[Prior to the Main Event...]

Sal: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time: Conor Caine!

Conor's music hits and he walks out from the curtain to an ovation. He looks around the cheering fans before beating his chest in solidarity with them and raising the JWA title over his head. As the fans continue to cheer, Caine makes his way to Sal at the podium where they exchange a handshake and a few words as the applause and music fade.

Sal: Conor, first of all: Congratulations on successfully defending your title two weeks ago, and securing your place in the Guts & Gory Main Event against your childhood hero, Arizona Chance!
Caine: Thank you, Sal. It was a hard fought battle with Omega Satyros, but my focus is now squarely on defending against Arizona.
Sal: Speaking of, you and Chance have had a couple of exchanges already in the past fortnight. The mutual respect is clear to see, but it looks like Arizona has begun his offence early with some psychological warfare. This past week on Mania he had you reeling after employing your finishing manoeuvre to end his match with BJ Chump, and it looked like it knocked you off your game a little on commentary. So my question is this, does "The Franchise" have your number?

Conor stammers a little and begins nervously rotating his right shoulder, but he quickly catches himself and tries to gather his composure.

Caine: Not at all, Sal... uhhh... I mean, maybe... okay, yeah... certainly, Arizona Chance has a wealth of experience over me... he's had the much better... uhhh... career out of the both of us... but... b-but... 

While rambling, Caine has begun rubbing his right shoulder, but again he realizes what he's doing and tries to strike a more confident pose.

Caine: Look, Sal, I'm ready for Chance. I've been getting ready for this match my whole life and there's no way I'm not coming out on top.
Sal: I have to say Conor, you don't sound as convincing here tonight as you normally do. I hope you'll be able to find your fighting form ahead of Guts & Gory in two weeks.
Caine: -Find my what?!
Sal: I'm Honest Sal, and that's been the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Conor's music hits again and the audience applaud but Conor is looking around stunned and a little self conscious as the segment fades to black.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

[Spot reserved for EITC's entrance]

Everyone lines up for a five v. five show down with Thorin and Rogers, Trembleberry and Bambino, Blunt and Dombrowski, Punter and Wynn, and Viggins and Victory all face to face, they let the tension build for a moment, and as the fans start to rise in volume, everyone starts laying into eachother and they arena roars.

LeRay: Absolute pandemonium here, everyone is going after everyone else!
Beeman: Pssh, only the idiots are...look at m'Lord!

(indeed Thorin has dropped down to avoid Rogers swing and slid out of the ring)

LeRay: I suppose you think that's the right move?
Beeman: Well, obviously, you need your leader to be able to make the right decisions, and he can't do that if he's eating a knuckle sandwich. Besides there's plenty of guys who can do some damage...

(On cue, Vinny grabs Trembleberry and throws him off the ropes, but the Valet ducks Vinny's clothesline and stops to dropkick Rogers in the back knocking Rogers over the top, where Thorin gets some shots in.)

Beeman: Bestill my heart!
LeRay: Oh, Brother. Panther Habedasherry has still yet to start this match folks, but I don't think any of these men are keen to follow the rules of a tag match.
Beeman: Lousy, cheating pirates. I always followed the rules!
LeRay: Really?
Beeman: My own rules...because...I rule.

(Dombrowski and Blunt grapple over the top rope on the side crashing into the floor, while Victory and Wynn throw their opponents into eachother and then run in with a double clothesline to knock them out.)

LeRay: Looks to me like the Colorful Crew is cleaning house! (Wynn and Victory change course and run to Rogers' defense and send Thorin scrambling away) And...oh my goodness, we actually have a match.
Beeman: Thank you Trembleberry! A true Gentleman's gentleman!
LeRay: Panter is calling for the bell and we'll get started with Trembleberry and Vinny Bambino

[Duke Mongoose]

LeRay: Before this match gets too far along, let's go to these pre-recorded comments from Duke Mongoose.

Beeman: Oh goody!

(A picture in picture box comes into the corner of the screen showing Duke Mongoose standing in front of a JWA banner)

Duke: Now you've gone and done it! Do you exist just to aggravate me, Brad? It seems you've fallen ass-backwards into a match against me and my boy next week. Well, let me tell you something: Bad Brad and Sad Seph don't stand a chance against the Forever Champs! We're gonna make short work of you so that Penguino can focus on kicking the snot out of Mad Chad and I can focus on winning that Costume Contest! Call your grandmother! This interview is over!

(The picture in picture box fades out)

LeRay: Duke sounds supremely confident going into next week's non-title match against the Bad Luck Bros.

Beeman: Why shouldn't he? Duke and Penguino are the World Tag Team Champions and the Bad Luck Bros are just a couple of unwashed morons!

LeRay: That match is next week, but right now we've got a massive tag match in its own right.

Beeman: What is Bambino doing to Tembleberry? Haberdashery! Restore some order!

[Thumper Moore III]

The arena light go out as Hysteria by Muse begins to play. As the guitar kicks in, a single spotlight silhouettes Arizona Chance. When the band joins, the arena is bathed in white light as the arena lights come back on. Arizona heads to the ring and slaps hands with the fans on the way down the ramp, rolling into the ring just before the chorus hits so he can lead the singalong.

“I want it now, I want it noooooow
Give me your heart and your gold
I’m not breaking down, I’m breaking ooooout
Last CHANCE to gain controooooooool”

Arizona asks for a microphone and The Wink obliges him.

Arizona raises the microphone to his mouth, but the fans, riled up by the singalong, start a dueling chant. “AR-I-ZO-NA/CON-OR CAINE! AR-I-ZO-NA/CON-OR CAINE!” Arizona smiles and cups his ear, egging the crowd on. After a few seconds of this, Arizona laughs. “Thanks guys, I‘d let you keep going, but the production team only gave me four minutes, and I used like a minute-thirty on the intro.” Arizona composed himself and began his scheduled promo with a big smile on his face, looking supremely confident.

“So, I came out here last week and said I’d be studying film, working hard, and coming up with a strategy. And, well, I’m at three out of three on that checklist. I have been working hard. (A picture shows on the Jerkatron of Arizona on the elliptical, and then another of Arizona benching a reasonable amount of weight.) I have been studying film. (The Jerkatron shows Arizona intently staring at something off screen while in movie style seating, holding a yellow notepad on his lap and with a comically large pencil behind his ear. A second photo shows Chance pointing at a movie screen, and the notepad and pencil have gone flying.) And I am coming up with a strategy. (A final picture shows Arizona seated at the head of a long table, papers in front of him, flanked by his wife Veronica and two year old daughter Maddie, both with papers in front of them, Veronica staring intently at her papers and Maddie feverishly coloring on a 8x11 of Conor Caine.)

Folks, I am preparing for this match with dogged determination, with tenacious fervor, with unabated, resolute, indefatigable persistence. In other words, I will be RELENTLESS in my chase for the gold, and you all know that nobody chases the gold…” Arizona holds out the microphone as the fans finish for him— “LIKE ARIZONA CHANCE!”

[Chad Shredsbury]

Prior to tonight’s 10 man main event match, Honest Sal stands by with Chad Shredsbury.

Sal. Good evening JWA faithful, Honest Sal here with the man we now know to be Chad Shredsbury. Mr. Shredsbury, we heard from your apparent former tag team partner Pierre the Enormous earlier. He appears to be angry and heartbroken, what have you to say about his reaction to all this deception.

Chad.(his voice completely altered from Welsh accent to surfer dude) Bro, I wish I could say I blame the big man. Believe you me, I never wanted it to go down like this. It’s all the fault of that meddling Johnny Kobra and his pet Penguin.

Sal. His pet? Penguino is a formidable foe. You of all people ought to know that, you’ve met several times in the squared circle.

Chad. I’m not taking anybody lightly, my not genuine amigo. I’m just telling it like it is.

Sal. So you will surely be prepared for your karate fight with him in just a few weeks then?

Chad. Most definitely, dude.

Sal. I must say, uh… Chad. The change in your voice and the lies about your background are alarming. But mostly… Your actions toward that young student at Penguin Kai… utterly reprehensible. Why all the deception and why that violent assault? It just doesn’t add up.

Chad. Look, Salisbury. I don’t know what you want from me. My whole life people hated on me because I looked more awesome. I surfed like a total badass. Chicks love me, dudes want to be around me. But in todays world, this crazy place… that just makes everybody resent you… that means they don’t dig you.

Sal. I know what resent means, Chad.

Chad. Groovy. Point is, uh… what was I saying?

Sal. I have no idea. What’s that got to do with being Welsh or beating up a kid?

Chad. Riiiiiight. I tried to be a Brit, cause you know, what could be further from a sweet surfer from Cali, man? Everyone loves the Brits! And it was all working out for me too. I had the big man on my side to crush any trouble. I mean, I didn’t love it when Che brought along the freak in the mask who talks to a teddy bear, but hey… no judgment here.

Sal. That sounded extremely judgmental, actually.

Chad. You do you, Sally baby. I gotta motor. Hang loose my man.

Chesterton struts off without a care in the world.

Sal. Excuse me! What about Billy? Why did you assault that poor boy? Well, I guess some questions will have to live to be answered another day.

[Penguino]

Right after Chads post.

Penguino is seen in an office in the dojo and just finished watching Shredsbury’s segment in the show

Penguino “Alright I know a cameras here somewhere so I’ll keep my talking family friendly. Chad I hope this goes in glory and you here because you are one thing and one thing A lying fake waste of space who destroys a piece of the earth every minute because of his actions. You refused to answer Honest Sals question about billy because there is no reason that’s just who you are. You put a 16 year old kid in a hospital. I hope you’re pleased with yourself that you, a full grown man beat up a kid who’s been taking karate lessons in a dojo fir 3 months. Congratulations Chad. Oh and also expect to see Johnny tonight he has a little surprise for you.”

The camera cuts back to the studio with Chad leaving the building and getting his car in the parking lot when he sees Johnny Kobra

Chad “Who are you bro.”

Kobra “Your attacker.”

Johnny Kobra lunges at Shredsbury and tackles him and starts raining down overhand chops. The dude of California shoves him off though and hits him with a dropkick combo of three before hitting a hurricanrana and driving out of the studio.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Oct 18, 2023 6:38:39 GMT -5 Duke Mongoose said:

LeRay: That match is next week, but right now we've got a massive tag match in its own right.

Beeman: What is Bambino doing to Tembleberry? Haberdashery! Restore some order!

LeRay: It looks like the Magenta Mate's got Thorin's valet in a basic headlock
Beeman: Cruel and inhumane I tell ya! Poor Trembleberry! Doesn't Bambino have any decency!
LeRay: A solid snapmare from Bambino and he's got Trembleberry in a reverse chinlock!
Beeman: He's a non-combattant!
LeRay: He signed up for a fight?
Beeman: He should be bringing by crumpets!
LeRay: Oh, and Trembleberry manages to catch Vinny in the eye...
Beeman: A natural, I tell ya! Forget Arizona, Connor Caine ought to be looking out for Trembleberry
LeRay: Bambino releases the hold and he's wandering into a world of hurt over by the East India company's corner...a Strike from Viggins, a strike from the Punter, another from Nic Blunt! Bambino's wobbling...Trembleberry with a backslide...1...Tw--NO! Bambino's out and lunging for the corner, yes he gets Dombrowski and Trembleberry's terrified!
Beeman: No, no, no! Get out of there! (Trembleberry turns and Nic Blunt tags to jump back into the match meeting Dombrowski with another set of swinging blows)
LeRay: Wow, absolutely no love lost between these two...it's Chop City out here tonight! We'll be back with more action after this commercial break


[OOC: Swear I'm not trying to steal all of Thorin's Thunder, just trying to make sure we're in position for a solid finish whoever wins the poll]

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

before the main event

we see video of miss jessie in a training match against helga schmidt, she's wearing what looks like a woman's version of buffalo's singlet and mask and looking a little uncomfortable tying up with helga.

buffalo yells, 'listen here girly girl get in there and grapple like a snapple capple...'
jessie looks unsure
buffalo 'hit her where it counts helga' (helga rears back and smacks her with a palm straight in the nose)
jessie reels and looks pained
buffalo 'watcha gonna do girly girl?'
jessie charges and gives out a big scream and shoves helga into the corner and flies with wild limbs kicking, scratching, clawing until helga curls up in a ball.

buffalo smiles, 'good...now come drink your gravy shake so we get some meat on those bones.'

[Omega Satyros]

Oct 18, 2023 4:09:55 GMT -5 “The Relentless” Conor Caine said:

Conor's music hits again and the audience applaud but Conor is looking around stunned and a little self conscious as the segment fades to black.

After the cameras disperse from Conor Backstage, Omega pulls him aside. 

Omega: I'm not trying to get involved in your match with Arizona, and I mean no disrespect. I just offer a bit of advice from someone who's faced him recently.
From what I can see, right now you're still viewing Arizona as that childhood hero who inspired you to do this in the first place, and you were left stammering like a teenager trying to talk to his first crush.
And that would frankly be fine any other time. Whether I'm right about that observation, or he's just in your head after that stunt he pulled on Mania, you need to focus on him as an opponent. Someone you plan to pin to that mat for a three count, like I did to him, and you did to me. While I'd love to face of with Arizona again, after I win the J-1 cup, it would feel all the more fitting to challenge the one guy who's gotten the better of me, don't let Arizona get the better of you like that.
There's no doubt in my mind that you have more than what it takes to beat Arizona, if you don't let him beat you before you even enter the ring.