JWA Glory Episode 181 - Conor Caine vs. Chad Shredsbury

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

This week it's the long awaiting in-ring return to action of "Relentless" Conor Caine, as he'll be taking on Chad Shredsbury in a match that will look to settle issues that have sprung up between these two men ever since Caine returned at Super Glory. Caine hasn't taken too kindly to Chad's comments regarding his physical condition, and Caine has vowed to bury anyone who stands in his way. While Caine may be medically cleared to return to action, I remind everyone that his return is on a temporary basis and that he will have to pass a JWA medical test within the next two months in order for a full return. If things go Shredsbury's way, Caine will be back on the shelf following tonight's match. This match has championship implications as well, since both men would be considered a top contender with a victory tonight. Will Caine's return to the JWA ring be a success story? Or will he wipe out against the Wave Rider?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Last week we had a preview battle of sorts when one half of the World Tag Team Champions, Red Pirate Rogers, defeated one half of their upcoming challenger team, that being Penguino. It was a see-saw, back and forth match, which either man could have walked away from victorious. In the end it was a well timed distraction on the outside of the ring that led to Penguino's downfall and Rogers' victory. During the match we saw a bit of potential dissension between Duke Mongoose and Johnny Kobra. Will Duke and Penguino be able to get on the same page in time for their championship rematch against The Pirates OF DOOM at Crash Carnival? Some would say they were never on the same page to begin with, but I digress.

In the wake of her victory over The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM, Winter Hex has made an ally of "The Debonair" Mack Caliber and now the newly minted couple will do battle with Arizona & Veronica Chance in the main event of Crash Carnival. This mixed tag team match, much like tonight's main event, is packed with intrigue and championship implications. Mack Caliber has been something of a thorn in the side of Arizona Chance ever since arriving in JWA, and now that he's aligned with Winter Hex, who also has her sights set on his World Heavyweight Championship, could he be the most dangerous version of himself yet? We hope to hear from both couples on tonight's show.

Next week we'll be having an Anarchy Rulez match between "Anarchy in the JWA" Daisy Turner and "The Huntress" Artemis to determine who will face "The Mean Queen" Jessie Aldean for the Women's World Championship at Crash Carnival. Daisy has returned from her hiatus with a new look and a new attitude, but Artemis is steadfast and determined to get revenge on Aldean and to be the one to take the championship from her. Some would say that Artemis having her Hunters at ringside will give her the unfair advantage in a no-rules situation against Daisy, but Turner has shown on multiple occasions that she's incredibly dangerous when the rulebook gets tossed. We expect to hear from both competitors, as well as the champion, during tonight's broadcast.

We've also got a special treat here tonight, as Diablo will be calling it a career with one final match. Diablo will be taking on Seraph and Vendaval in a three way match, and Diablo has requested that Omega Satyros and The Black Cat be in his corner. We haven't seen Satyros in some time, aside from some cryptic messages. Will Omega return to be in the corner of his friend and mentor here tonight?

Let's start the show. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Omega Satyros]

LeRay: Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to JWA Glory. We've got a packed show for you tonight, starting off with putting a feather in the cap of Diablo's in-ring career.

Beeman: It's gonna be a sore retirement if he goes out like a chump. My money's on Vendaval tonight. And we've got JWA's newest ring announcer, Angela Apex.

Angela: Introducing first, The Legacy of Hell, DIABLO!   
"Sympathy for the Devil" begins playing and Diablo comes out, flanked by Black Cat, who's in his full-body gear.
Angela: Next, Heaven's Hero, SERAPH!
LeRay: Mateo Diego, after making amends with his father, is embracing his first gimmick for this 3-way dance.
Angela: And the Regret-ful Restling BoobTube champion, VENDAVAL!
Beeman: And here's Vendaval, and the man who's revitalized his career, Ryan Regret. Diablo doesn't stand a chance tonight.

LeRay: And Omega seems to be nowhere in sight.

Beeman: I told you he'd leave with his tail between his legs.

The bell rings, and Diablo and Seraph both take the fight to Vendaval. A dropkick from Seraph, an elbow drop from Dialbo, taking turns stomping on the champion. Ryan Regret is up on the apron to distract the ref as they lock in a tandem arm-bar and ankle lock.

LeRay: It's an H2H reunion as they try to get Vendaval to tap to Meet in Purgatory.

Beeman: But Ryan Regret gets them to break by distracting referee Jay Fairweather.

Seraph breaks to get the ref refocused, but Diablo is annoyed he broke the hold, and takes it out on Seraph, delivering a low blow, which gets Magnifico to rush the ring, where Vendaval takes him out with a hurricanrana.

Beeman: It's everyone for themselves, and no DQ in this matchup. If only we could've seen this kind of fire from Diablo before his final JWA match.

Vendaval lets Diablo lock Seraph in Pagan Ways, with Seraph ultimately tapping out.

LeRay: And it's down to two in this matchup.

"Andromeda" by Satyr begins playing, and Diablo and Black Cat's attention turns to the entrance ramp. Vendaval takes advantage of the distraction, rolling Diablo up for a three count.

Angela: Your winner, and still Regret-ful Restling BoobTube champion, VENDAVAL!

Black Cat enters the ring as Vendaval rolls out. He and Ryan Regret make they're way backstage as Diablo looks confused and disappointed. The JerkTron lights up as Omega appears.

Omega: You really don't get it, do you Diablo. I'm not the one who was falling short. You were.

Diablo is back standing in the ring as he stares up at the JerkTron. He turns to Black Cat, frustrated and confused, and is met by a brutal kick. "Black Cat" unmasks, revealing Omega Satyros. He stands over his mentor, glaring down as the feed goes to commercial.

[Chad Shredsbury]

“Good Vibrations” hits and Chad Shredsbury is nowhere to be seen. The music scratches out and the lights dim. The song restarts and Chad emerges on the stage in a tricked out motorized wheelchair.

LeRay. Is this man kidding us right now? He can’t possibly pass up a chance to mock someone’s injury, can he? It’s bad enough he attacked Connor Caine with his shovel last week, but now this?

Beeman. I think he is actually being very kind. I assume he realizes that Connor is certainly going to need that chair to get back up the ramp when this one’s over. Heck, he may need it to get to the ring as well.

LeRay. Will you stop?

Beeman. Wow. Listen to that thing rev. How much horsepower did Chad put into it? It’s even got Caine’s ugly face airbrushed onto the back! This is spectacular !

Chad revs the motor a few more times and takes off, screeching to the ring. He hops up, leaps onto the apron and flips over the top into the ring and hits his signature one knee, biceps flexed, hang loose thrown up. The boos are palpable.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

The studio lights lower to almost darkness as white spotlights rotate on the stage and the opening of “Vonnegut Busy” by Sage Francis plays:

When the lyrics kick in, the lights come up and Conor Caine walks on stage to cheers from the audience, shovel in hand.

Rod C: And his opponent, from Providence, Rhode Island... weighing in at 265lbs... “The Relentless” Conorrrrrrr CAAAAAAINE!

Caine stands in front of the curtain for a moment, looking around at the fans before raising the shovel into the air and letting out a roar. The fans erupt in cheers, Caine points the shovel at Chad before making his way to the ring.

LeRay: Do you see what I see, Sean? The new addition to Caine’s ring attire?
Beeman: If you’re talking about that knee brace, how could I miss it: he painted it bright red!
LeRay: To match the colour of his trunks rather than his black kneepads. It’s a bold choice!
Beeman: It’s a bullseye for Chad Shredsbury is what it is!
LeRay: I think he’s showing Shredsbury that he’s not intimidated by Chad targeting his injury.

Caine has arrived at the wheelchair and is examining the portrait on the back - Chad looks on, smiling. Caine lets out a mirthless laugh and rests his shovel on the chair before climbing the ringsteps and entering the ring where he does his usual routine on the turnbuckle and meets Chad in the middle of the squared-circle.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: The bell rings and the two men circle each other, goading one another!
Beeman: You could cut the tension with a knife!
LeRay: They lock up— OW!

No sooner have they locked up than Conor stomps down on one of Shredsbury’s bare feet. Chad breaks the lock-up and Conor closes the distance between them with stride, headbutting Chad in the face. A strong clothesline brings down Chad, only unbalanced by the two cheap shots.

LeRay: Veteran official Francis “The Effect” McCorry is quick to admonish Conor Caine!
Beeman: Quick would have been to stop Caine after the foot stomp! Or the headbutt! If Frank wants to do anything right, he should throw this match out and award a victory to Chad!

Caine doesn’t respond to McCorry’s lecture, pacing back and forth and waiting for Chad who’s already getting back up.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. As soon as McCorrie steps out of his way Caine lunges at Chad again, but Shredsbury ducks it and comes off the rope for his patented beautiful disaster kick! But Connor Caine catches him!

Beeman. What?!

LeRay. Connor Caine has Shredsbury all twisted with his leg up and his arms trapped and he is squeezing. And he throws him overhead in a powerful capture suplex! Chad looks rocked by that.

Beeman. What is going on here?

LeRay. Caine does not relent here, he’s right on top of it, putting the boots to Chad and boy does he deserve it!

Beeman. How can you say that? He brought this wounded asshat a wheelchair? This is an outrage!

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: McCorry pulls Caine away from Shredsbury and gives him a second warning!

The fans cheer as McCorry produces a yellow card and holds it up to Caine.

Beeman: Wrestling fans do love it when the veterans play their hits!

Caine notices Shredsbury getting to his feet behind McCorry and shoves the old man to the side as Chad comes rushing towards them!

LeRay: Arm drag from Conor Caine to Shredsbury! Caine had him scouted that time but Shredsbury is right back up— Another arm drag from Conor Caine!
Beeman: Shredsbury is up again and - Wow! - a sweet drop kick right to Caine’s kisser! Both men are up, and it’s an arm drag from Shredsbury on Caine this time!
LeRay: Conor Caine walked out here tonight to prove something to the JWA locker room, but it’s tough to make a definitive statement when you’re up against a man who has an answer for everything!

Both men are back up at the same time—

LeRay: Clothesline from hell by Conor Caine! He almost turned Shredsbury inside out on that one! The cover…!
Beeman: Barely a two-count!

[Duke Mongoose]

*Before the Main Event, after the Diablo match*

Honest Sal: Fans, we're all still reeling from what we just witnessed, but please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose!

(Duke makes his way out through the curtain and walks directly to the podium. He looks a bit sullen and doesn't even bother posing for the fans, who wouldn't appreciate it anyway)

Sal: Duke, you're looking a bit glum this week. Anything to do with last week's match?

Duke: Sally boy, you don't know the half of it. Last week I decided to come down to ringside to lend my boy some support during his match with that high-falooting pirate, but things didn't quite go our way.

Sal: Yes, an unfortunate interruption from DOOM led to a distraction roll up, which is one of the most lethal maneuvers in professional wrestling.

Duke: Sure, that big mug DOOM was the final straw, and I'll get to him in a second, but things were going off the rails long before that and there's only one person to blame.

Sal: What do you mean? Surely you're not talking about Penguino?

Duke: Of course not! I would never talk about my boy that way. I'm talking about that no-good Johnny Come Lately coattail rider Johnny Kobra!

Sal: How is Johnny Kobra to blame?

Duke: Open your eyes and clean out your ears so you can hear the truth that Big Daddy Duke is about to pontificate! Johnny Kobra's supposed "coaching" is leading my boy Penguino down the wrong path. Prove me wrong! How many times did we win as a team? How many times has Penguino lost with Kobra in his corner? I rest my case!

Sal: So what, exactly, are you suggesting?

Duke: I suggest that Johnny Kobra pack it up and pack it in, Sally boy. Leave my boy alone! No more of this "Penguin Kai" nonsense! And if Kobra doesn't like it, he knows where to find me! NOW, as I mentioned before, let me get to that big oaf DOOM. His blundering butt cost us the match last week as well as the tag team championships before that. I don't know if you missed it, but that monstrous buffoon was defeated by a WOMAN!

Sal: Yes, we all saw, Winter Hex defeated DOOM live on Glory.

Duke: I don't know about you, Sally boy, but I'm pretty sure I can take a man who can be beaten by a WOMAN. So, Whistler, why don't you book another one of your "preview battles" or whatever, and let Big Daddy Duke put DOOM in his place.

Sal: I guess we'll see if Kip makes it official.

Duke: He'd better, or else his name is going on a very long list of people around here who need to call their grandmothers! This interview is OVER!

(Duke kicks over the podium, poses maniacally, then storms off)

Sal: Fans, we'll be back with more action, plus our main event, after these quick messages from our sponsors.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Caine looks only slightly surprised that Chad’s got more fight in him. But he certainly took the wind out of his surfing sails with that clothesline.

Beeman. He doesn’t surf with a sail, LeRay!

LeRay. And now Connor picks Chad up and sends him hard into the ropes— but Shredsbury comes back with another beautiful disaster and it connects this time! And he follows it with a super kick that staghers Connor Caine! And a chop block to the injured knee floors Caine! He’s clutching that knee in pain! Caine is in pain!

Beeman. Chad goes to the apron. He wants to put this one away early. I think he’s lookin to Shred the Gnar!

[The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM]

Apr 3, 2024 8:22:58 GMT -5 Duke Mongoose said:

*Before the Main Event, after the Diablo match*

Honest Sal: Fans, we're all still reeling from what we just witnessed, but please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose!

(Duke makes his way out through the curtain and walks directly to the podium. He looks a bit sullen and doesn't even bother posing for the fans, who wouldn't appreciate it anyway)

Sal: Duke, you're looking a bit glum this week. Anything to do with last week's match?

Duke: Sally boy, you don't know the half of it. Last week I decided to come down to ringside to lend my boy some support during his match with that high-falooting pirate, but things didn't quite go our way.

Sal: Yes, an unfortunate interruption from DOOM led to a distraction roll up, which is one of the most lethal maneuvers in professional wrestling.

Duke: Sure, that big mug DOOM was the final straw, and I'll get to him in a second, but things were going off the rails long before that and there's only one person to blame.

Sal: What do you mean? Surely you're not talking about Penguino?

Duke: Of course not! I would never talk about my boy that way. I'm talking about that no-good Johnny Come Lately coattail rider Johnny Kobra!

Sal: How is Johnny Kobra to blame?

Duke: Open your eyes and clean out your ears so you can hear the truth that Big Daddy Duke is about to pontificate! Johnny Kobra's supposed "coaching" is leading my boy Penguino down the wrong path. Prove me wrong! How many times did we win as a team? How many times has Penguino lost with Kobra in his corner? I rest my case!

Sal: So what, exactly, are you suggesting?

Duke: I suggest that Johnny Kobra pack it up and pack it in, Sally boy. Leave my boy alone! No more of this "Penguin Kai" nonsense! And if Kobra doesn't like it, he knows where to find me! NOW, as I mentioned before, let me get to that big oaf DOOM. His blundering butt cost us the match last week as well as the tag team championships before that. I don't know if you missed it, but that monstrous buffoon was defeated by a WOMAN!

Sal: Yes, we all saw, Winter Hex defeated DOOM live on Glory.

Duke: I don't know about you, Sally boy, but I'm pretty sure I can take a man who can be beaten by a WOMAN. So, Whistler, why don't you book another one of your "preview battles" or whatever, and let Big Daddy Duke put DOOM in his place.

Sal: I guess we'll see if Kip makes it official.

Duke: He'd better, or else his name is going on a very long list of people around here who need to call their grandmothers! This interview is OVER!

(Duke kicks over the podium, poses maniacally, then storms off)

Sal: Fans, we'll be back with more action, plus our main event, after these quick messages from our sponsors.

Later in the show, Duke walks through the parking lot, eating a sloppy sandwich of some kind. Cheese and toppings ooze from the foil that holds it as he reaches his hand into his pocket for his car keys. As he walks we hear a grinding sounds with a heaving roar and then a metal smashing, glass shattering crash. Duke pauses for a moment and looks around but sees nothing.

Duke: What in Sally’s sweet behind was that all about?

He continues to walk and now we hear a distant heavy breathing as heavy, rapid stomps are heard. The noise gets lower and lower as if traveling further away. Duke turns the corner to see his red Ford Mustang convertible flipped over on its top. He dramatically drops his sandwich on the concrete floor. Then his keys drop. Finally he drops to his knees and screams.

Duke: WHY?! WHY?! WHYYYYYY?!

The camera quickly pulls out to a wide shot of the parking garage, Duke weeping on the ground beside his damaged muscle car. From a distance we hear a crashing sound, and the sounds of rolling garbage cans amidst a maniacal, wheeze plagued laughter.

[Thumper Moore III]

HONEST SAL: I’m backstage with JWA Champion Arizona Chance. Arizona, I was hoping to see Veronica tonight.

ARIZONA: I bet you were, Sal. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a babysitter. Kidding, kidding, she’s actually working super hard to get back to ring shape.

SAL: So, Kip Whistler announced that the mixed tag match with you and Veronica taking on Winter Hex and Mack Caliber—

ARIZONA: The Reminiscer, Winter Hex. Put some respect on that name.

SAL: You have been very complimentary of her these past two weeks, Arizona. What’s the story there?

ARIZONA: Winter has a unique ability to see things the way they truly are, while simultaneously distorting them horribly. Sal, I’m a B-movie C-lister, a parody actor imitating a real star in my films. I’ve never denied that. But I’m also an S-tier professional wrestler, who has worked his tail off to achieve everything I’ve done. Three-time JWA Champ. Two-time tag champion. J-1 Winner. Five-time Jammie winner, including match of the year three years straight with three different opponents.

Winter is an incredible talent, and seems to have a knack for fighting the men— her record against men is even better than her record against women. She might even be a better actor than me. But the ring is my world. If she thinks that she can beat me, with or without her muscle bound blockhead, then I’ll just have to show her where her place is.

SAL: You mean barefoot in the kitch—

ARIZONA: NO, Sal. I mean in front of the camera, on the silver screen, doing what she does best. Acting. God, man, this is 2024. Jeez.

Arizona walks away, shaking his head. Sal starts turning the shade of a pomegranate as the camera fades to black.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: Shredsbury leaps to the top rope but Caine is already rolling out of the way!
Beeman: He rolled under the bottom rope like a coward!
LeRay: Now the positions are reversed as Shredsbury lands inside the ring while Caine gets to the apron!

Shredsbury hits the far set of ropes and runs towards Caine, who's gotten to his feet on the outside.

LeRay: Shoulder block from Conor Caine through the middle ropes stops Shredsbury in his tracks! Caine looks behind him and--

Beeman: Oh no! That wheelchair is right behind him on the outside!
LeRay: And Caine's shovel is laying across the armrests!

Conor positions Chad for a high back suplex towards the wheelchair, but Chad rolls at the last second and lands on the apron side by side with Caine!

LeRay: The two men are trading back elbows, vying for control of this precarious position! Shredsbury targets Caine's knee with a low kick! Conor Caine falters!

Caine is down on one knee, clutching his leg with one hand - holding the middle rope with the other. Shredsbury backs up to the corner post and takes a run at Caine..

LeRay: Caine springs up from the apron and catches Shredsbury in a belly to belly! Suplex off the apron sends Shredsbury crashing upside down into the wheelchair, his back snapping that thick wooden handle of the shovel and sending the wheelchair careening across the floor!
Beeman: Shredsbury! Nooooo!
LeRay: Chad isn't moving! Conor's trying to get to his feet but knee is slowing him down! Frank McCorry has started his count! What will happen next?!

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. McCorry’s count reaches a four by the time Connor makes his way over to Shredsbury, who still hasn’t moved a muscle.

Beeman. Wake up, Chad! Wake up!

LeRay. Connor Caine is primed for his vengeance here. He picks up a piece of the broken shovel and looks at Chad. Frank McCorry pausing the count to warn Caine, who never even bothers to look at the official.

Beeman. DQ him now, Frank! Do it!!!

LeRay. Connor tosses the shovel aside and lifts his for from the floor. He fires a forearm hard across Chad’s chiseled chest.

Beeman. Are you doing a thing right now with the alliteration, here?

LeRay. Connor Caine with another heavy limb across Shredsbury and he now drapes him across the back of the chair and… what is Caine doing here? He’s climbing onto the ringside barricade. The front row fans are going bananas!

Beeman. Get down from there, you big imbecile! Don’t you dare do this! Count him out, Frank! Why is everyone ignoring me?!

LeRay. McCorry’s count arrives at 7 as Connor Caine leaps from th barricade to deliver a massive legdrop onto Chad— but Shredsbury somehow rolls off the chair and Caine lands hard, leg first, on the solid metal of that wheelchair!

Beeman. Hahahah! And the rest of him crashed down back of the head first on the arena floor! love it. That’s what you get, Connor Caine! That’s what you get!

LeRay. The tide has surely shifted in favor of the surfing scoundrel now as Shredsbury slides into the ring at nine. And this could be over in just a moment as Caine is barely moving! But Chad is going back outside, shaking his head.

Beeman. Wait. What?!

LeRay. Shredsbury doesn’t seem interested in anything but injuring Connor Caine, I guess. He grabs his leg and continues to wrench it over the arm of the wheelchair. Caine is kicking and screaming in agony now as Shredsbury poses. What a creep.

Beeman. Creepy Connor Caine. I like it.

LeRay. Not him, Sean! Chad now lifts a very hurt Caine and whips him hard into the seat of the chair. And a super kick to the face of the seated Caine sends him, and the chair, rolling b as and tipping over onto the diamondplate steel of the ramp. And now Chad slides back into the ring, urging McCorry to hurry up the count.

[Artemis]

After a commercial break, video plays from earlier day as Artemis and the Hunters arrive to the studio. Artemis turns to a camera.

Artemis: Daisy Turner, I know your probably laid up in a hospital bed right now. Just let me give you a bit of advice. Stay in that hospital bed until next week, so you'll make it to the Anarchy Rulez match. I will be ...

[Duke Mongoose]

Apr 3, 2024 10:09:35 GMT -5 The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM said:

Later in the show, Duke walks through the parking lot, eating a sloppy sandwich of some kind.  

OOC: Spaghetti Sandwich