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Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 16, 2024 17:11:53 GMT -5
Greetings, grapple fans!
We're just one week away from our big Crash Carnival pay per view, and tonight's main event is a preview for the World Tag Team Championship match that will take place on that card. The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM will be representing the champions as he faces Duke Mongoose who, alongside Penguino, will be challenging for the title at the pay per view. It was only a few weeks ago when we saw Red Pirate Rogers pick up a victory over Penguino. Will Duke fare any better? We already know that things have gotten heated between Duke and DOOM after Duke laid out the challenge and DOOM responded by wrecking Duke's car. Things are sure to get wild here tonight!
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
Daisy Turner defeated Artemis last week in an Anarchy Rulez match and will challenge "The Mean Queen" Jessie Aldean for the JWA Women's World Championship at Crash Carnival. Daisy has a new look and a new attitude - will that carry her to victory at the pay per view? As for Artemis, we saw that she has disbanded her Hunters following the loss. What's next for The Huntress?
Last week Omega Satyros set the masks from the career of Diablo on fire. On Mania the challenge was made for a Mask vs. Mask Inferno match at Crash Carnival. I can confirm that we will have that match on the pay per view. That is, if they don't kill each other before then! And what effect has all of this had on those who were once friends with Satyros and Diablo? We heard last week that Pierre The Enormous has been seeing to Troglo who is all bent out of sorts over this whole scenario. No one ever considers the collateral damage of their actions.
The main event of Crash Carnival will feature a mixed tag team match pitting JWA World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance & Veronica Chance against "The Debonair" Mack Caliber & "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex. Things were quiet from all involved last week, but with the match looming just one week away, I have to believe we may see some fireworks here tonight.
"Relentless" Conor Caine defeated Chad Shredsbury a few weeks ago, and just last week threatened to call out another member of the JWA roster if no one stepped up to challenge him. Since no brave souls have come forward, I expect we'll be hearing from The Relentless One regarding just who's next on his hit list.
But enough talk from me. Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 16, 2024 17:21:18 GMT -5
("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol plays and the fans begin to boo. Duke Mongoose makes his way through the curtain and into the JWA Studio. In addition to his pink and green floral tights and feathered boas, Duke is wearing a shirt that reads "Buy Me Lunch")
LeRay: As per usual, the fans aren't happy to see Duke Mongoose in the JWA Studio, but what's with that shirt? First it was the "Fever Chimp" shirt and now this?
Beeman: It's because that idiot DOOM caused Duke to drop his spaghetti sandwich when he flipped Duke's car! Isn't that obvious?
LeRay: Oh. No, I guess it wasn't.
Beeman: DUKE LOVES SANDWICHES!
(Duke climbs into the ring and poses to the delight of no one)
LeRay: It was DOOM who inadvertently cost Penguino the previous match against Red Pirate Rogers, but can Duke extract revenge against an opponent with the sheer girth of DOOM?
Beeman: Did you say "girth"?
LeRay: Yes, girth. DOOM is a man of girth. One might even go so far as to say "corpulent".
Beeman: What is this, the SATs? Someone get DOOM out here so that Mick can stop listing off his $15,000 dollar words!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 16, 2024 18:15:59 GMT -5
As the show opens…
The arena goes dark as the opening bars of Hysteria by Muse begin. As the guitar kicks in, dual spotlights silhouette Arizona and Veronica Chance, Arizona holding aloft his JWA Championship. When the full band would normally kick in, instead the track switches to Dynamite by BTS, and suddenly it’s a party blue, yellow, green and red spotlights bounce around the JWA Studios. Veronica does the Alex Wright dance toward ringside, stopping a couple times to kiss her finger and then place it on a young person’s cheek, causing them to also break into spontaneous dancing. Arizona chuckles as he follows his wife to the ring.
BEEMAN: Great, the court jester has accompanied the king who is about to be embarrassed.
LERAY: Arizona has a microphone.
ARIZONA: JWA fans, I hope that my wife’s dynamite has made your evening! I’m gonna make this short and sweet: Winter and Mack think that they are JWA’s new power couple, and that pretending to be Marilyn Monroe and Cary Grant is the play. Well, have fun with your cosplay— frankly, it worked for me, so I have no doubts that you’ll have success with it… but not at our expense.
VERONICA, ripping the microphone out of Arizona’s hands: And Winter, if you so much as lay a finger on my husband, I will make it so that your face will be unfit for the silver screen for—
Arizona bends close to Veronica’s ear and whispers something.
VERONICA: Really? She can do that? OK, well, I guess that’s in the rules of the match. Which means I can scratch, claw, and pull Mack’s hair too!
Arizona bends close again and whispers in her ear again. A look of horror comes across her face.
VERONICA: We have to…
Veronica drops the microphone and she and Arizona have a heated discussion back up the ramp.
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Apr 16, 2024 18:19:19 GMT -5
The lights dim and cannon fire lights up the studio as “Accordion” plays and The Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOM spins onto the stage in a frenzy, his Jolly Roger cape whipping all about. DOOM stops, staggers a few steps and adjusts his eye patch. Red Pirate Rogers appears behind him on the stage, seeming to beckon him to pause for a moment. On that note, DOOM races towards the ring, cape flapping in the faces of several fans as he goes. He does the ringside break, into tripod position, and steals a soda from a child as always. Halfway up the ramp, Roses shams his head and hangs it in a moment of shame. DOOM is sufficiently soda’d up and rolls under the bottom rope into the ring where he is greeted by the boots of Duke Mongoose. The bell rings as Mongoose stomps away without quarter.
Beeman: Wouldn’t it be something if DOOM never makes it to his feet? Great strategy by Duke.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 16, 2024 19:24:56 GMT -5
LeRay: Duke continues to lay in the boots to DOOM and now he’s shouting at him as well.
Duke: You *stomp* ruined *stomp* my *stomp* sandwich! You *stomp* ruined *stomp* my *stomp* car! You *stomp* ruined *stomp* my *stomp* life!
Beeman: Duke is way more upset than I realized!
LeRay: DOOM rolls under the rope and the referee is stepping in to separate these two. Duke is risking disqualification if he doesn’t stop!
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Post by Omega Satyros on Apr 17, 2024 3:45:44 GMT -5
Toni: My guest at this time, Omega Satyros.
Omega: Ask away.
Toni: What's going through your mind at this time?
Omega: The image of the Inferno Match, and Diablo going through the flames one last time.
Toni: Sounds like you feel ready for your match next week. Have you reached out to Troglo at all since this happened?
Omega: Unfortunately, I haven't had the time while getting ready for this match. I just ask Troglo to remember what business he's a part of. To considering how this all works. Normando's ultimately made his twenty-five year career on the rubble of burned bridges and broken relationships left if his wake. I couldn't take the risk of being his last victim in that.
Toni's phone rings, and she steps away from the interview briefly. Diablo rushes in frame with a big right hook, sending Omega stumbling into the walls of the set. Diablo grabs Omega, throwing him right into the cameraman, sending the camera to the ground, on its side. Diablo gets Omega back in frame, where he pushes out of a Demon's Kiss attempt and floors Diablo with a Satyr Kick. Omega picks his mentor's prone body off the ground, planting him face first with a Demon's Kiss of his own.
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Apr 17, 2024 6:43:28 GMT -5
DOOM attempts to recover at ringside but an angry Duke follows him to the outside and charges DOOM. Unfortunately, Mongoose, as many before him, bounces off DOOM’s belly and ricochets off into the guardrail. With Mongoose on the floor and the referee beginning the count, DOOM regains his bearings and switches his eyepatch of course. He charges Duke, who rolls out of the way and causes DOOM to blast the guardrail. However, DOOM bounces off the guardrail and flops directly on top on Mongoose. The red pauses and scratches his head. He looks to Rogers, who stands not far away at ringside, shaking his head. The ref, at this point let’s say it’s Jack LeBiggun, looks at his own fingers and restarts the count.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 17, 2024 7:37:08 GMT -5
The ref, at this point let’s say it’s Jack LeBiggun, looks at his own fingers and restarts the count. *OOC: For whatever reason, this phrasing cracked me up.* Beeman: Somebody get a medic for Duke! I think every sandwich he's eaten in the past week just got squashed out of him... from both ends! LeRay: Ugh. Thank you for that visual, Beeman. Beeman: I'm serious! I've never seen Mongoose get squashed like that before. LeRay: DOOM had better get back into the ring or both men are going to be counted out. Beeman: Good point. (Johnny Kobra and Penguino suddenly make their way to ringside and offer some assistance to Duke, while Rogers attempts to convince DOOM to drag himself back into the ring) LeRay: Interesting to see Kobra out here after what Duke said about him. Beeman: Kobra sees the big picture. He knows they all need to work together to win back the tag titles next week. LeRay: Maybe not! Duke just decked Kobra with a big right hand! Penguino looks stunned! Beeman: WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? Duke: Take that, Karate Chump! Penguino... my boy... get to the back. You don't want to see what I'm going to do to this clown. (Duke rolls back into the ring as Rogers aids DOOM back under the ropes as well. Penguino is still standing at ringside with a shocked and confused look on his face) |
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 17, 2024 11:31:32 GMT -5
LeRay: Both men are back in the ring, and it appears DOOM is calling for a test of strength.
Beeman: Not sure that's wise. Sure, DOOM has a size advantage, but I'm pretty certain Duke would have the strength and leverage advantage.
LeRay: These two gladiators lock hands in the center of the ring and DOOM is pushing with all of his might. Duke doesn't even look bothered!
Beeman: Color me shocked.
LeRay: DOOM is heaving and shoving and doing everything in his power, but Duke won't budge!
Beeman: Wait, this is brilliant! DOOM is going to wear himself out!
(Almost as if on cue, DOOM relinquishes the knuckle lock and slumps to the mat, sweating profusely and out of breath. Duke climbs to the turnbuckles to pose)
LeRay: It looks like you were right, Beeman, but Duke isn't capitalizing on the situation.
Beeman: Don't worry, Duke's got plenty of time before that trash bag recovers!
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Apr 17, 2024 11:46:19 GMT -5
Almost on cue with Beeman’s remark, DOOM roses up and rushes the corner, where Duke poses, oblivious. DOOM, however, slams into the entire buckle, taking out Duke’s legs and sending him crashing to the canvas. Also rocking DOOM himself hard into the corner and laying him out flat on his back beside his adversary. Red Pirate Rogers begins to slap the apron, cheering for his mate.
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Post by “heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber on Apr 17, 2024 11:52:28 GMT -5
I once again present myself to the unwashed masses as the Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet plays. I unfurl a scroll from the breast pocket of my smoking jacket, and begin to read a poem.
Ahem. While some would say romance is dead,
I doth disagree. Consider instead:
The budding rose of Mack and Winter,
A rose whose stem the jealous would splinter.
The Chances can only envy our passion
For fine arts, fine wine, and ballroom dancin.
Their simple family life is fine for some—
But not for the Reminiscer, who marches to a different drum.
She deserves red carpet galas, and weekends in Cannes,
Walks on the Riviera to avoid her adoring fans.
So next week is the opportunity to prove to all of you cretins
What I see, but you’re missing. So I’ll commence with the beatins.
I step aside and wait patiently for the arrival of the Reminiscer.
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on Apr 17, 2024 13:28:00 GMT -5
Backstage:
Chief Buffalo is gesturing to videotape of recent Daisy Turner matches, while Jessie Aldean looks at her phone
Chief: "She's changing her approach. As she gets more flexible you're going to have to...(he sees her not paying attention) hey...girlie...(still no answer)...yer majesty?"
Jessie: "Yes? What is it?"
Chief: "Ya like being champion?"
Jessie: "That's a foolish question, Buffy. Of course I do."
Chief: "Then you better start payin' attention or ya ain't gonna be champ much longer..."
(She rolls her eyes)
Jessie: "Fine, I'll think about Oopsy Daisy...I just need to go see one thing...(She stands up to go, and Buffalo sits grumpily.)"
Chief: "Maybe I oughta have talked to Bambi Bambino..."
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 17, 2024 15:31:32 GMT -5
LeRay: The fans are rallying behind DOOM thanks to Rogers' cheerleading at ringside, and it appears the big man is starting to stir!
Beeman: Yeah, but so is Duke!
(Both men get back to their feet, but very slowly. Once both men are standing, Duke goes to lift DOOM for a bodyslam, which immediately proves foolish)
LeRay: It looks like Mongoose may have thrown out his back trying to lift the sizeable girth of DOOM.
Beeman: It was worth a shot.
LeRay: DOOM moved his eyepatch and charged at Duke, but Duke sidestepped him and scores with a series of Mongolian Chops! He's going to chop the big man down!
Beeman: See! I bet that bodyslam attempt was all just a ruse.
LeRay: Not based on the way Duke is wincing between chops. DOOM is down to a knee! Duke applies the Ionian Nerve Grip! Will DOOM give up?
Beeman: Can DOOM even feel that?
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Apr 17, 2024 15:56:12 GMT -5
DOOM grimaces and wriggles his shoulders uncomfortably, wheezing severely. His arms begin to flail wildly and he lets out a huge roar of laughter.
DOOM: Don’t! No! I’m ticklish!
Beeman: Did that buffoon just say he’s being tickled by the Ionian Neeve Grip?
LeRay: …yes…
Duke’s eyes widen in surprise, then quickly squint in anger as he visibly digs deeper into the hood causing DOOM’s arms to jolt wildly, smashing Mongoose high up off of him, releasing the hold as he sails through the air and hard into the turnbuckle.
Rogers: DOOM! Avalanche, now!
DOOM cowers, looking around to see if an avalanche is headed his way.
Rogers: Aherm. Pardon me. Avalanche of DOOM!!!
DOOM switches his eye patch and ramps up for his big corner splash…
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 17, 2024 17:50:25 GMT -5
(Just as DOOM is about to charge Mongoose in the corner, suddenly Penguino sprints down from the entrance way, bounds off a mini trampoline conveniently stationed at ringside, and soars through the air in front of DOOM. Penguino lands safely in Johnny Kobra's arms on the other side of the ring)
Beeman: A FLYING PENGUIN?!?!
LeRay: It would appear that you're not the only one baffled by this occurrence, as DOOM is switching his eyepatch and having a think.
Beeman: That won't end well.
Duke: CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER OF DOOM! THIS ONE'S OVER!
LeRay: Mongoose takes advantage of the distraction and hastily applies the Cobra Clutch! DOOM doesn't appear to be effected, however. He's still deep in contemplation.
Beeman: He's lost in thought, LeRay. Unfamiliar territory.
(Despite his lack of reaction, DOOM slowly begins to fade into unconsciousness. Jack LeBiggun checks and then calls for the bell)
LeRay: Duke Mongoose has put The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM to sleep, and I don't think DOOM even realized what was happening.
Beeman: Who cares? It's a big win for the Forever Champs, soon to be champs once again!
LeRay: Considering the cheap shot Duke took on Johnny Kobra earlier in the evening, things may not be as swell as you make them out to be, but it is true that Kobra and Penguino came through in the end, giving DOOM and Rogers a taste of their own medicine from a few weeks ago.
Beeman: Let's celebrate! Spaghetti sandwiches for everyone!
(DOOM suddenly rises in the ring, roused by the mention of sandwiches. Duke leaps out of the ring and heads to the back)
Beeman: I should have known that mentioning food would wake this imbecile up.
LeRay: That's good information for Red to hang on to for next week's title match. Could come in handy. Fans, be sure to join us next week for Crash Carnival! For "Savvy" Sean Beeman, I'm Mick LeRay saying goodnight!
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