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Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 30, 2024 16:32:28 GMT -5
Greetings, grapple fans!
It finally happened: The Forever Champs have exploded! This past week at Crash Carnival The Pirates OF DOOM successfully retained the World Tag Team Championships and Duke Mongoose took it upon himself to completely dissolve the relationship between himself and "his boy" Penguino. In the days that followed, Duke has claimed that Penguino never held up his end of the team, while Penguino claims he single-handedly (flipperedly?) carried the team by himself. They'll meet one on one in the ring here tonight and look to settle this thing once and for all.
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
Let's dive into the major talking points from Crash Carnival, shall we?
"The Reminiscer" Winter Hex & "The Debonair" Mack Caliber scored the victory over Arizona & Veronica Chance in a mixed tag team match. Obviously this means that Arizona will be defending his World Heavyweight Title against the winner, but which one? The more reasonable decision would be to award the title match to Mack Caliber, but in the match it was Winter who got the pinfall. It can be argued that she pinned Veronica, not Arizona, and so she earned Mack a title shot and not herself. However, it can also be argued that Winter is just as deserving of the title match as Mack, maybe even more so. This is truly a conundrum!
Daisy Turner is the first ever 3-time Women's World Champion here in JWA after defeating "The Mean Queen" Jessie Aldean. It would seem that a new look and a new attitude was all Daisy needed to rejuvenate her success in the ring. What's next now for Jessie? We've seen her making eyes at The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM lately, though he seems oblivious. Will this make Chief Buffalo jealous? And who will be next to challenge Daisy for her title? Is Winter Hex too preoccupied with the men's gold to even consider the women's title? We saw that Artemis seems to have taken a step away from JWA and in her place temporarily is Lady Diana Gallus. Diana picked up a win this past weekend on Mania and could make her presence known here tonight on Glory.
Diablo's career is well and truly ended, following his loss to his protege Omega Satyros in the Mask vs. Mask Inferno match. The former Legado Del Infierno members battled tooth and nail until one man was sent crashing through the flames. Following the match, we thought that Satyros was going to be the next target of the returned "Relentless" Conor Caine, but instead it turns out that Caine has aligned himself with Satyros and he aided in the devastation of Diablo. Caine has promised an explanation from himself and Omega here tonight on Glory. I personally cannot wait to hear this.
As I mentioned earlier, Red Pirate Rogers and The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM successfully retained the World Tag Team Championship at Crash Carnival, so the question now is: who's next? What team will be next to step up to challenge this oddest of couples?
Could Troglo be preparing for an in-ring comeback?
Let's get this show started. Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 30, 2024 16:41:55 GMT -5
("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol plays and Duke Mongoose makes his way through the curtain when the song picks up. He is greeted by even more booing than usual. He ignores it and struts his way to the ring. He is wearing a shirt that reads: "Johnny Needs Ice")
LeRay: Here comes one of the most loathsome individuals in JWA today.
Beeman: That's a bit harsh coming from you, Mick.
LeRay: I just don't understand how Duke could turn his back on Penguino so easily. Duke was going around and treating Penguino like he was his own son, and then when the chips were down and they lost, Duke disowned Penguino immediately.
Beeman: And don't forget that he also kicked Johnny Kobra right in the crotch.
LeRay: I imagine that's what his shirt is alluding to.
(Duke climbs through the ropes and begins to pose and flex. Someone throws a mostly-full cup of soda at him, but Duke rubs it on himself as though it were tanning oil)
LeRay: That's lovely. Now he's going to be all sticky during the match.
Beeman: At least you can't claim he's oiled up and greasy! Penguino's got no excuses!
LeRay: Oh brother. It's going to be a long night.
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 30, 2024 17:59:33 GMT -5
*Troglo is making a rare in studio appearance and is greeted by Sal*
Sal: Troglo it's nice to see you here!
Troglo: *he smiles and grunts*
Sal: So what's the occasion?
Troglo: Coming... back...
Sal: So the rumors are true!
Troglo: Chef friend help train...
Sal: I see...
Troglo: TROGLO STRONG NOW!!! *he grabs a steel bar bends it and wears it like a necklace.*
Sal: Wow you are strong and that's the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Troglo: *roars as he leaves*
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Post by Penguino on Apr 30, 2024 19:55:55 GMT -5
“Stay Vicious”By the Gaslight Anthem plays over the loudspeakers as Johnny Kobra heads out to the ring and starts pointing at Duke and berating him.
LeRay “It seems that Johnny Kobra is agitating Mongoose who is telling back at Kobra, but aside all of this and more importantly where is Penguino.”
Beeman “Duke turn around.”
LeRay “He should probably follow your advice as Penguino has snuck up behind Mongoose who’s attention is still on Johnny Kobra. Penguino reaches around around him and hits a German suplex and he rolls back up but not for another German but rather a ripcord lariat. The official now rings the bell and the match begins
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Apr 30, 2024 22:41:43 GMT -5
"Sympathy For The Devil" plays, and a burned and unmasked Diablo makes his way to the ring. The fans cheer him on. Diablo takes a moment to take the cheers in.
Beeman: What's this guy doing out here. He lost, he's gone.
LeRay: Can it Beeman.
Diablo: Well, JWA, it's been an honor to step between these ropes. I'm honored that you all accepted me with open arms the way you have. And, to reflect that respect, it's time I properly introduce myself. My name is Normando Real. JWA Power Station Trainer and operator and owner of El Infierno Academia De Lucha Libre. I first took this job to be here to support Omega's career, as well as help Yuppie VP train the next generation of JWA stars. I have the privilege to announce that El Infierno will officially be partnered with the JWA Power Station to help focus on the next crop of high-flying lucha legends. After 25 years of bearing my father's legacy, it passes on down the line. Omega, I wish the best for you. It will not be easy, you've chosen a path that will drive you insane with anger, fury, and greed. You will feel unable to stop yourself from breaking and betraying whoever you feel stands in your way. But, maybe you'll find a way to harness it I never had the specific finesse to...
Flames erupt from the ring posts as the lights shift red, and from a cloud of smoke emerges a man in a bleached white skull mask with nearly flaming red eyes.
El Infierno: Hijo mío, has luchado bien. Has llevado con orgullo el Legado Del Enfierno. Lo llevaste a lugares a los que nunca pude ir. Lo llevaste a una audiencia que nunca esperé que lo aceptara. Tuve la suerte de transmitirlo de buena gana. Mientras que el Último Sátiro te lo quitó por la fuerza. El Legado del Infierno, el Rey Diablo de los Rudos, pasa a él, pero el Legado de la Familia Real sigue vivo a través de ti. (My son, you have fought well. You have proudly carried the Legacy Of El Infierno. You took it to places I could never go. You brought it to an audience I never expected to accept it. I was lucky enough to pass it on willingly. The Last Satyr took it from you by force. Legado Del Infierno, el Rey Diablo de los Rudos, passes to him, but the Legacy of the Real Family lives on through you.)
Father and son embrace as various members of the Real Family rush the ring to honor and celebrate Diablo.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on May 1, 2024 6:22:46 GMT -5
(As Penguino looks to continue his attack, Duke reaches up and rakes the eyes)
Beeman: The old Greco-Roman Eye Gouge!
LeRay: I can't say that I'm surprised that this match is starting out this way, seeing as there's some serious heat between these two.
(Duke gives Penguino a boot to the side of the head that sends him out to the floor. Duke follows)
LeRay: Duke is laying in some big right hands to Penguino here on the floor, and Johnny Kobra is making his way towards them.
Beeman: Kobra will keep his distance if he's smart, but he's not, so here he comes.
LeRay: Duke winds up for a big punch, but Penguino beaks him in the midsection! Penguino grabs Duke by the front of his tights and pulls him head first into the guardrail!
Beeman: I'll give Penguino credit, that was a good move.
LeRay: Penguino with a big flipper chop across the chest of Mongoose, and these fans love it!
Beeman: Idiots, the lot of them.
LeRay: Penguino drags Mongoose to another side of the ring, shoves him against the guardrail, and another big flipper chop! Penguino is dragging Duke again - he might be looking to do it on all four sides of the ring!
Beeman: Normally I'd be telling Johnny Kobra to do something, but he and Duke are on opposing sides now so... uhh... DUKE! DO SOMETHING!
(Penguino hits flipper chops on Duke against the guardrail on the remaining two sides of the ring and the fans go crazy)
LeRay: Penguino has this crowd in the palm of his flipper, but he had better be careful not to let this one end in a double count out. Referee Rothburn Sallie is already at eight!
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Post by Arizona Chance on May 1, 2024 8:04:36 GMT -5
HONEST SAL: I’m backstage with JWA Champion Arizona Chance. Arizona, following your wife’s loss to Winter Hex—
ARIZONA: Excuse me, Sal, that’s OUR loss to The Reminiscer Winter Hex AND The D***head Mack Caliber. Please continue.
SAL: Yes. Following your team’s loss, who do you expect to be challenging you for your title?
ARIZONA: That’s an easy answer Sal— Winter. She got the pin in the match. I easily took out Caliber, and then she laid into me so hard with the kendo sticks that I was unable to prevent her from gaining the victory. I mean, look at this!
Arizona turns his back to the camera to reveal several purplish-green welts across his back, as well as recently scabbed over wounds that are suspiciously kendo stick-shaped.
ARIZONA: Now Sal, I was raised to not lay hands on a lady, and I will not do that until she is in the ring with me one on one for the title. At that point, she’s a wrestler just like anyone else. Actually, not like anyone else. She’s—
SAL: Gonna learn a great lesson in life when you take her over your knee and sp—
ARIZONA: NO, Sal, I was gonna say she’s one of the biggest threats I can face in JWA. She’s smart, cunning, packs a punch, and has proven herself more than any man’s equal. Jeez we go way back, but you need to get some counseling. C’mon, man.
Arizona once again walks away from Sal’s casual misogyny muttering with his head in his hands.
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Post by Penguino on May 1, 2024 8:28:46 GMT -5
Penguino rolls in and back out of the ring to break the count but while Penguino is doing that Duke begins to get up.
LeRay “Penguino turns his focus back to Duke Mongoose and gets a DDT for his troubles.”
Beeman “Great ring psychology outside of the ring.”
LeRay “Mongoose throws Penguino into the ring and long him into a Mongolian nerve hold.”
Beeman “See how smart Duke is he even studied where Penguins nervous systems are most reactive. Let’s go biology.”
LeRay “I highly doubt that was his number one concern going into this match.”
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on May 1, 2024 9:55:03 GMT -5
Coming back from a commercial break, a scroll unwinds on the screen...
From the office of Lord Taylor Thorin:
My Lordship wishes to announce that, following the successful dissolution of
the EITC and on the back of a glorious tour in Japan, he will be returning to
a JWA ring NEXT WEEK.
While my lordship acknowledges that he has accomplished a lot during his
tenure in the JWA, there remains one thing that so far has alluded him and
NEXT WEEK, he will outline his quest to cross the final task off his list.
The last chapter begins NEXT WEEK.
Tembleberry
Executive Assistant to Lord Taylor Thorin
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Post by Duke Mongoose on May 1, 2024 10:31:06 GMT -5
LeRay: The Ionian Nerve Grip is really taking its toll on Penguino. Duke might have him here.
Beeman: Tell that imbecile Kobra on the outside to shut up. His encouragement won't help Penguino now.
LeRay: Quite the opposite, Beeman. Kobra's rallying has started to get the fans to rally as well. Penguino is starting to stir!
Beeman: Ahh fooey!
(Penguino manages to get to his feet and lays a series of shots to Duke's midsection. Once free of the hold, Penguino hits the ropes but is met in center ring by a big Mongolian Chop from Duke)
LeRay: For a second it looked like Penguino was making a comeback, but Duke cut him off.
Beeman: All is right in the world.
LeRay: Mongoose applies a sleeper hold and once again is looking to put this match away.
Beeman: Goodnight, Penguino!
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Post by “Relentless” Conor Caine on May 1, 2024 10:59:17 GMT -5
Prior to the Main Event…
”Vonnegut Busy” plays and the audience burst into a chorus of boos as Conor Caine walks through the curtain, a poop-eating grin all over his face. He waits at the curtain as the music changes to “Andromeda” by Satyr and Omega comes out to more boos. The two men walk to the ring together and call for microphones.
Caine: I’m hearing a lot of different words from you guys out here tonight - I even hear a couple of my favourites - but I don’t hear the one word you rubes were cheeping at me over and over this past week: ‘Why?’
I mean, I could stand out here and try to explain the machinations of a world-class talent to you slack-jawed marks but I think it’s easier to sum it up like this: ‘Why not?’
Caine chuckles as the fans begin booing again.
Caine: The fact is, I could have walked back in here in March and declared my intention to take back the JWA title and you sycophants would have eaten it up, and then what? I put this fleamarket operation on my back again, to raise it to a level most of these other frauds in the back can’t reach? I’m tired of that rat race. I thought I could light a fire under them and inspire a little growth but that didn’t work either. Then it all clicked! I realised the truth: these jabronis in the back and all you morons out here, you don’t want to be inspired… you want to be led… you want to be… dominated!
Caine: Message received and understood, and as you can see I’m not the only one around here eager to step on some necks. A reckoning has cone to the JWA and there’s not a single thing anybody can do about it!
Suddenly, Conor is cut off by the roar of a cannon…
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on May 1, 2024 14:24:46 GMT -5
Prior to the Main Event…....Then it all clicked! I realised the truth: these jabronis in the back and all you morons out here, you don’t want to be inspired… you want to be led… you want to be… dominated!
Caine: Message received and understood, and as you can see I’m not the only one around here eager to step on some necks. A reckoning has cone to the JWA and there’s not a single thing anybody can do about it! Suddenly, Conor is cut off by the roar of a cannon…
The music fades out while fans are cheering, and Rogers lifts the microphone to his mouth.
RPR: I know my cue when I hear it. ( Fans cheer again) RPR: I think we've all had quite enough of your particular brand of bilge, Mister Caine. All your rationalizations and justifications are about as intelligent as that manure you've been shoveling the last few weeks. ( Fans cheer and look uneasily towards Connor) RPR: First and foremost, allow me to disabuse you of a critical misunderstanding you have of the fine people here tonight, the millions watching at home, and the *professionals* behind me in the locker room....regardless of how you've confused us with a particular segment of your slash fiction fan base...( there's some hoots and some puzzled looks)...there's NOT a clamoring demand to be dominated.( fans ooh as Rogers is rarely so risque) What there IS...is an EXPECTATION, of RESPECT. ( Cheer) While you may not have cared for the caliber of matches we produced while you were absent, many fans enjoyed them, and many of us who competed are proud of what we accomplished. Just because it's not your particular brand of gin, doesn't mean you need to come out here and pi--- ( Rogers pauses, again the crowd oohs as the pirate rarely comes so close to even half-profanities, Rogers takes a breath and looks away). ...Suffice to say...you haven't demonstrated one iota of the respect that these fans deserve or that your colleagues have extended to you. I have respected you for a LONG time, Mr. Caine. Lest you forget, that belt you're so fond of bragging about came to you from across my own broad shoulders. But just because I carried the belt, doesn't mean I carried this company...the dozens of wrestlers and unsung staff did that. I respected all the work you put in to earn your title shot, and all the effort you poured out to walk away with the belt. Since your return, I've refrained from inserting myself into your vapid vendetta because I respected your stated goal: to make a better JWA, even if I utterly abhorred your tactics. But now...seeing you bring along another young talent, who I had until recently held in high esteem...Oh yes, Mr. Satyros, I haven't forgotten you ( cheers). I remember you coming to help Lord Taylor Thorin, though you had no need to. I remember you accepting the tutelage of a legendary luchador...and I had respect for you....HAD. I do everything I can to support, encourage and--most of all--respect you younger talents. I don't ask you to carry my bags, or look to humiliate you like that bedazzled be-boa-ed buffoon who will be coming out later. I have always sought to treat you with the respect that every Red Pirate Rogers extends to men who may wear the mask next...and now you...Omega...even that *UNGRATEFUL* former partner of mine...( fans boo the memory of Caliber costing Rogers the J-1, and he too seems to be working himself up into an angry froth)...you've chosen to take that respect and abuse it, discard it, dismiss it...in short, you lot have taken the RESPECT that we all had for you and you've taken a fat, stinking, sh-- ( This time, Rogers profanity is cut off by a forearm which rams into the back of his head knocking him sprawling on the ground.) |
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Post by Penguino on May 1, 2024 15:20:17 GMT -5
Penguino begins to fade in the sleeper hold but out of desperation drops down to his tail feathers and hits a form of Stunner to Duke.
LeRay “Duke is sent flying up and over the top rope and Penguino is having a conversation with the official here, maybe he didn’t like the nerve grip.”
Beeman “No he’s just learned to cheat like a mongoose because now the wretched Kobra is taking advantage of the superior animal outside.”
LeRay “He is indeed as Mongoose gets up and he is hit with a leg sweep. The ref is finally turning around and begins the ten count. Duke is beginning to get up and Penguino is coming off of the ropes and a plancha but wait he’s caught on Dukes shoulders and is hit with a powerbomb onto the apron.”
Beeman “And that is why Mongoose should be crowned as the MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!”
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Post by “The Debonair” Mack Caliber on May 1, 2024 15:37:56 GMT -5
You rang?
I point at Conor and Omega in the ring, with the same poop-eating grin that Conor had earlier, and they start yelling to bring Red to the ring. I do, and I’m clobbered from behind by Arizona… who tries to tend to Rogers and doesn’t see Winter Hex bash him from behind with a kendo stick. She whacks Arizona a couple times, then hits Rogers for good measure. Together, we roll both of them into the ring.
A Satyr Kick to Rogers is followed up by several more kendo shots. I pick Chance up on my shoulders as Caine holds Rogers from behind. We nod at each other, as Rogers gets sent to hell by a ripcord Raising Caine and Chance gets knocked the hell out by a Magnum Slug.
I call for four microphones as the trash is rolled out of the ring and to the arena floor. I begin to speak.
While the rest of you were sleeping, plans have been made.
Everyone was scouted, but four made the grade.
Omega Satyros, Conor Caine, Winter Hex, and me
We’re here to dominate everyone. Soon you’ll see.
(If the others want to add something, go for it.)
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on May 1, 2024 15:53:58 GMT -5
In catering, the Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOM sits before a mighty tray piled up with friend chicken, potatoes and Burgers(without cheese). He looks up at the monitor as he shoves a massive chicken leg into his gullet, and sees his partner and the JWA Champion being laid waste to in the ring. He quickly switches his eye patch from left to right and back. He looks from the monitor to his platter of food and back and forth again. The weight of friend or feast is heavy on him.
But he knows what he must do. He grabs another enormous chicken drumstick and leaps up from the table, being sure to flip the entire tray for dramatic effect. The food and tray soar high up high the air as DOOM stands with pride, imagining an indoor breeze flapping his cape behind him mightily in slow motion as the will to do what’s right has won and he will save the day! Then the tray crashes down on his head, hard, in very real time, knocking him out cold.
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