JWA Crash Carnival 2023 *Main Thread*

[Kip Whistler]

presents...

CRASH CARNIVAL 2023

(Hard rock music plays as a camera zips down the midway of a carnival. We see people attempting to pop balloons with darts, shooting water guns into porcelain clown mouths, throwing rings at bottles, etc. As the camera reaches the end of the midway, it suddenly pulls up into the air into a crane shot of a sea of humanity surrounding a wrestling ring. The shot then turns to Mick LeRay and Sean Beeman at the commentary position)

Mick LeRay: Wrestling fans, welcome to JWA Crash Carnival! We are coming to you live and direct, and we've got a great card planned for you tonight as we welcome the nicer weather and the outdoor season.

Sean Beeman: *sneezes* Speak for yourself! It's allergy season for me!

LeRay: All JWA championships will be on the line here tonight, as well as a major grudge match. To tell you all about it, let's go to this video package narrated by our own Toni Cruise!

(A video package airs showing highlights of recent JWA matches featuring the match participants, followed by a graphic for the match. Toni speaks in voice over)

Toni: Crash Carnival 2023 - Official Match Card! Our opening match is a grudge match - one fall, 30 minute time limit - Mack Caliber vs. Chief Buffalo! Our second match is for the JWA World Tag Team Championship - one fall, 60 minute time limit - "Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose defend against Arizona Chance & Penguino! The third match is a Hardcore Rules 3 way match for the JWA Women's World Championship - one fall, no time limit - Daisy Turner defends against Veronica Chance and Bambi Bambino! Then, in our main event, for the JWA World Heavyweight Championship, it's another 3 way match - one fall, 60 minute time limit - Red Pirate Rogers defends against "Relentless" Conor Caine and Chesterton Shredsbury! JWA Crash Carnival 2023 begins - NOW!

(The camera goes back to Mick and Sean at the desk)

LeRay: Thank you to Toni, as always, for that rundown of today's card. Sean, who do you think is going to walk out of the Tag Team match tonight with the gold?

Beeman: You know me, Mick. I like to bet on the sure thing. After seeing My Lord's plan come to fruition on this most recent episode of Glory, I have to go with the champs retaining. The Duke and My Lord played Arizona and Penguino like a fiddle!

LeRay: Funny, but that's not how I remember things going. Sure, the champs might have gotten a bit of a jump on the challengers, but-

Beeman: But nothing! Duke and Thorin retain here tonight!

LeRay: Moving on, it's a first for JWA as we not only have a Women's World Title match on a pay per view, but it's also the first women's 3 way match in JWA history AND contested under Hardcore Rules to boot! Who do you see leaving here tonight as the champion?

Beeman: This may be a surprise, Mick, but my money is on Daisy Turner to retain.

LeRay: Really? I'm shocked you wouldn't side with Bambi on this one.

Beeman: It was a toss up for me between Daisy and Bambi. They're both ruthless in their own ways. One thing I know for certain, though, and that's Veronica has NO CHANCE of leaving here with the gold. See what I did there?

LeRay: Yes, I think we all did.

Beeman: The Chance family is going to go home today empty handed! Bet on it!

LeRay: Alright, the main event. Red Pirate Rogers has set the record for the longest single reign as World Heavyweight Champion. Do you think he'll continue his record setting reign, or does someone else lay claim to the richest prize in our sport?

Beeman: Is there any way that all 3 men can lose somehow? Can I bet on them going the distance and no one winning within the time limit?

LeRay: I guess that's a possibility, but I'm going to force you to choose someone. Who've you got?

Beeman: You know what? I think Shredsbury is going to take it.

LeRay: Shredsbury? Really? Why the Welsh Waverider?

Beeman: He's the freshest coming into this match, and by all accounts he's the least likely to win out of the three. We all know that Conor Caine has been gunning for the title for a while now. Rogers has had ample time to study and prepare for the challenge. Meanwhile, Chesterton has been hanging out with Pierre and not wrestling. We're not even 100% sure what kind of preparation they've been putting in. If I have to pick a winner, I'll go with Chesterton Shredsbury. He's the dark horse.

LeRay: You might be onto something there. We're about to get this show underway, so I'll ask you quick - who do you think gets the win in our opening grudge match, which is just moments away?

Beeman: I'm pulling for the big Chief. We all saw Mack Caliber get hurt in his match with Duke Mongoose a few weeks ago and I think Buffalo is going to put Caliber out of action for good here tonight!

LeRay: Anything is possible, though I'm sure the fans here feel very differently from you, Beeman.

Beeman: *sneezes* I think I'm allergic to these people!

LeRay: Fans, Crash Carnival is about to get officially underway! Let's send it up to our ring announcer for the introductions of our opening bout!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Later in the night…

LeRay: Folks, as things continue to heat up in what’s already been our most exciting event of the year, let’s take a brief moment to check in with one of the participants in tonight’s Main Event, “The Relentless” Conor Caine.

Beeman: Can’t we talk to somebody actually interesting, like, I dunno… this unconscious frat boy?!

LeRay: Sadly not, Sean. Conor sat down with Rodd Puttergill last week to discuss tonight’s event and here’s an exclusive segment, where Conor and Rod discussed JWA Champion Red Pirate Rogers.

Cut to the interview…

Rodd: Conor, we’ve mentioned him briefly a few times but now I want to dig deep on a man who’s loomed large over your career: Red Pirate Rogers. You’re as likely to praise the JWA Champion as you are to threaten to dethrone him. So, once and for all, will you let the fans know where you stand? What’s your true opinion of Red Pirate Rogers?

Caine: I stand with the fans: I’m a fan of Rogers. I have great admiration for him. Just because I go out there and tell people that I deserve to be Champion and that now is my time, doesn’t mean that Red Pirate Rogers is any less deserving of the title. I couldn’t have any more admiration for Red, but I’ve also never been hungrier to take the title from him.

Rodd: Why so?

Caine: Winning the JWA title isn’t the end of an epic quest, it’s a step forward in evolution. When you’re fighting for the gold, you fight harder than you ever have before - you find reserves of power you never realised you had - and you give everything to try and come out on top. Contenders fight like that once in a while, when the opportunity arises, but the Champion has to fight harder than that every time they step in the ring; because everybody is out to get what they have. There’s no other experience like it, to be on top. Just look at Red’s evolution since winning the belt: his reign has been unparalleled. That’s where I want to be.

Rodd: And why is now your time?

Caine: It wasn’t long after I got here that Red won the title. My first title shot was his first title defence. It would be an honour to book-end the longest title run in JWA history: to be Rogers’ first and last title defence. And then to go on and hopefully surpass his reign: to carry that prestige he’s put on the belt, to continue his traditions of integrity and honour. To follow his example… while blazing a trial of my own.


Fade out…