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Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 22, 2023 8:46:08 GMT -5
JWA World Tag Team Championship Match - One Fall, 60 Minute Time Limit
"Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose (c) vs. Arizona Chance & Penguino
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 22, 2023 8:58:46 GMT -5
(The opening of "Palladio" by Escala plays, segueing into "Calling Dr. Love" by KISS as Tembleberry and The Earl of Jackson come through the curtain, followed by Duke Mongoose and "Lord" Taylor Thorin. Tembleberry and Jackson act as a human shield against the throng of fans booing and attempting to throw beverages and popcorn at the champions as they make their way to the ring)
Beeman: Can you believe the disrespect from these fans, Mick? Those are the CHAMPIONS! Plus My Lord is ROYALTY!
LeRay: His claims of being related to royalty are about as legitimate as his claims of being injured, which we all saw was just a ruse this past week on Glory!
Beeman: My Lord WAS injured. He got better.
LeRay: Yeah. Okay.
Beeman: It's true!
(Tembleberry and Jackson hold the ropes open as Duke and Thorin make their way into the ring. Once inside, Thorin removes his robe and begins to limber up, while Duke goes through his posing routine. Suddenly Duke is struck in the face by a hot dog, which gets a big laugh from the crowd)
LeRay: (Stifling laughter) We don't condone that kind of behavior from our fans, but I have to say that Duke looks pretty good covered in The Works!
Beeman: Would you stop?
LeRay: That's my line!
Beeman: I hope that fan is happy throwing money in the trash. Those hot dogs were like $12!
LeRay: Tembleberry is helping Duke to get cleaned up as we now await the arrival of the challengers, the ever popular team of ZoneGuino!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 22, 2023 15:27:26 GMT -5
The arena goes dark as the first bars of Muse by Hysteria begin. As the guitar kicks in, two figures are silhouetted in spotlights, one holding aloft his fedora, and one with a fish in his beak. As the lights come back on, the music changes to Where Is My Mouth, and the challengers head to the ring.
BEEMAN: Oh God, they’re wearing matching shirts.
LERAY: T-shirts with a bow tie design to make them look like a tuxedo, and they read: “ZoneGuino, Future Tag Team Champs.”
BEEMAN: I wish to Heaven I could unsee that.
LERAY: You can’t, and here are the challengers. Referee Panther Haberdashery gives the signal, and there’s the bell!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 22, 2023 17:55:07 GMT -5
(Duke and Arizona start off the match and tie up. Duke grabs a handful of Arizona's hair and throws him to the mat. Duke struts around the ring as Panther Haberdashery scolds him and the fans boo)
LeRay: I shouldn't be surprised that Duke immediately resorts to cheating.
Beeman: What are you talking about? That was a perfectly legal Greco-Roman Follicle Toss!
LeRay: Arizona shakes out the cobwebs and looks to tie up again. They lock up, and this time Arizona uses Duke's hair to execute the Greco-Roman Follicle Toss!
Beeman: That dirty cheater pulled the hair! Disqualify him, Haberdashery!
LeRay: Turnabout is fair play, Beeman. It looks like they're going to lock up again, and they do. Hold on, BOTH men are trying to pull their opponent down by the hair!
Beeman: What is going on, Mick? This is surreal!
LeRay: Referee Haberdashery is politely asking both men to release their holds, and begrudgingly they do. Arizona goes to his corner to converse with Penguino and OH! Duke with a blindside double axe handle!
Beeman: Brilliant!
LeRay: Duke pulls Arizona out to the center of the ring and drops him with a scoop slam! Duke climbs to the second rope, tags in "Lord" Taylor Thorin, then connects with a falling back elbow smash to the chest of Chance!
Beeman: Look at the tag team cohesion from Duke and his Lordship! Now we get to see what my Lord can do following his miraculous recovery!
LeRay: "Miraculous recovery" my aunt Fanny! The man's a scoundrel!
Beeman: Shh! My Lord is about to put a hurting on Arizona.
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Apr 23, 2023 9:42:03 GMT -5
Thorin drops a knee into the shoulder of Arizona and then locks in a hammerlock on the same arm.
LERAY: "Thorin picking a body part and going to work, that is smart from the champs".
BEEMAN: "Of course it is LeRay, who'd you take these guys for? This is wrestling 1-0-1."
It's too early in the match to gain a proper advantage though, and Arizona is back on his feet and whips Thorin into the ropes. Thorin ducks a clothesline and immediately tries for a roll-up but meets a knee to the face from Arizona that stuns his lordship! Arizona presses the advantage and forces Thorin into the corner where he peppers him with punches and kicks, forcing Thorin down to the mat. One stomp later and Arizona gees up the crowd as Thorin cowers.
Chance shakes out his arm to get the blood flowing again before tagging in Penguino who flies at Thorin in a rage! Tembelberry and Jackson are there quicker though and drag Thorin out of the ring where Tembleberry wafts him with a towel. It doesn't stop Penguino though who flies through the ropes taking out all three!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 23, 2023 10:12:46 GMT -5
LERAY: Duke comes to their aid outside the ring and checks on his teammates. The group on the ground starts to regain their footing as Penguino rolls Thorin back into the ring. Duke is conversing with Tembleberry and Jackson— Chance flies in with a top rope moonsault and wipes out all three!
BEEMAN: I’ve never seen such blatant cheating! First the hair pulling, and now attacking three guys who aren’t the legal men in the match!
LERAY: Penguino whips Thorin into the corner. He whips his flipper in a circle and jumps up to the second turnbuckle— tornado DDT from the cold weather avian! A cover— only a two count.
BEEMAN: That’s not enough to take out someone as tough as his lordship.
LERAY: Thorin crawls to his corner but no one is there. How will he get out of this predicament?
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 23, 2023 13:07:21 GMT -5
(Thorin is screaming at the pile outside the ring, which prompts Tembleberry and Jackson to form a sort of human pyramid which Duke Mongoose climbs up onto the apron to make the tag)
LeRay: I'm not sure I've seen the human pyramid in a wrestling match before, but you've got to expect the unexpected around here!
Beeman: You're missing the most important thing, and that's the fact that Duke is in the match and he's all fired up to get some revenge!
(Duke lands a big punch on Penguino, then rushes the corner and knocks Arizona to the floor with an elbow. Duke poses for a second, which Thorin protests from the apron, but Duke is oblivious)
LeRay: A questionable decision by Mongoose to use the opportunity to pose.
Beeman: I've never known Duke to pass up an opportunity to pose, Mick.
(Duke notices Penguino getting back to his feet, so he hits the ropes and catches Penguino with the Running Neckbreaker Drop)
LeRay: Could that be enough? Duke covers!
*One...Two...Kickout*
Beeman: Three! He got him!
LeRay: No, it appears Penguino managed to get a shoulder up and this match will continue. Duke pulls Penguino back to his feet and it looks like he's going for another Running Neckbreaker Drop - wait! Penguino runs laterally, causing Duke to miss! Both men are running and collide in the center with matching clotheslines! Both men are down!
Beeman: Would you tell these fans to shut up? Duke can't hear his Lordship's instructions!
LeRay: Penguino is crawling toward the corner to make a tag to Arizona, and it looks like Duke will try to make a tag to the fresh Thorin. Hold on, Duke changes his mind and he's going to try to stop Penguino instead! Duke's got a hold of one of Penguino's legs!
Beeman: Now Duke's going to drag that bird brain to his own corner and My Lord is going to show everyone here just what-
LeRay: OH MY! Enzuigiri by Penguino sends Duke ass over tea kettle! Penguino with the diving tag and in comes Arizona!
Beeman: Oh no!
LeRay: Lost Ark Lariat to Duke! Lost Ark Lariat to Thorin who comes in illegally! Michinoku Driver to Mongoose! And one for Thorin! Arizona has this place rocking!
Beeman: Don't just stand there, Tembleberry! DO SOMETHING!
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Apr 23, 2023 15:22:45 GMT -5
As if on queue, Tembleberry jumps onto the apron to admonish the referee and at the same time, Earl Jackson runs around to grab a hold of Penguino.
Meanwhile, Arizona continues his attack on Duke...but from behind comes Thorin with a low blow!!
Thorin rolls out of the ring as Arizona slumps to the canvas holding his crown jewels, giving Duke a bit of breathing room.
LERAY: "Once again the champs using the numbers to gain the advantage!"
BEEMAN: "What goes around comes around LeRay!"
LERAY: "Give me a break!"
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 23, 2023 16:58:12 GMT -5
Well, there goes the plans I had with Ronnie for tonight…
LERAY: Chance struggles to reach his corner, his progress halted by his aching. Meanwhile, Duke makes the tag to Thorin who runs in. He grabs Chance, and he calls over Tembleberry while Duke calls over the referee— Chance with a low blow to Tembleberry, who falls off the apron to the floor! Jackson jumps up— low blow to the Earl! Thorin looks disgusted as Jackson falls off the apron holding his jewels. Thorin picks up Chance— a kick to Thorin’s lower abdomen!
BEEMAN: Turn around, ref!
LERAY: As our colleague Ryan Regret would say, Chance took their entire entourage to D—
BEEMAN: Look look look!
LERAY: Chance makes the crawl to Penguino, who is simply frothing at the mouth to get in— he makes the tag!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 23, 2023 17:52:26 GMT -5
(The crowd erupts as Penguino leaps into action. He takes Thorin down with a cross body, then picks him up and delivers an Ice Breaker)
LeRay: Penguino is on fire and he might be able to get the victory here if he can just put away Thorin!
Beeman: No no no! There's no way the bird and the turd can leave here as champions!
LeRay: Penguino has Thorin in position and he climbs to the top rope. Arizona steps in and it's looking like they might be going for an assisted Flying Penguin! Arizona tosses Penguino but Thorin gets the knees up! Penguino has had the air completely knocked out of him, and Tembleberry and Jackson grab Arizona's ankles and pull him out under the bottom rope!
Beeman: Things are suddenly looking up!
LeRay: Thorin makes a quick tag to Duke, who's looking like he has to walk rather tenderly, but Thorin hoists Penguino into position and Duke hits the ropes - Hart Attack! Duke with the cover!
*One...Two......Three*
Beeman: Academic, LeRay! Chock up another win for the good guys!
LeRay: Good guys? Once again it took FOUR MEN to beat the challengers. For once I would like to see Duke and Thorin win a match WITHOUT the help of these buffoons!
Beeman: Well, you can wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first. We're gonna party tonight! Drinks are on me- MY LORDSHIP! Ha ha ha!
LeRay: You disgust me sometimes, Beeman. Fans, we've got more action coming up next as the JWA Women's World Championship is on the line in a Hardcore Rules match!
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