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Post by Kip Whistler on May 2, 2023 17:10:50 GMT -5
Greetings, grapple fans!
Tonight Tommy End returns from his excursion and returns to competition as he'll be taking on Penguino. End took time away from the JWA to explore other pursuits, but now he's back and focused on rising back to the top of the card. Penguino made it clear last week that he's interesting in returning to chasing the World Heavyweight Title after his brief period as a tag team with Arizona Chance. Both men could use the momentum of a win here, but who will come out on top? We'll find out later tonight.
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
Next week's main event will be a non-title Lumberjack match featuring the World Tag Team Champions "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Duke Mongoose taking on the newly formed team of JWA World Heavyweight Champion "Relentless" Conor Caine and Mack Caliber. Caine and Caliber have shown glimpses of mutual respect between them, and they were both victims of non-stop chicanery by Duke Mongoose and his entourage over the past month. My initial instinct was to ban Tembleberry and The Earl of Jackson from ringside forever, but Caine presented the idea of having them - and everyone else - at ringside for this tag match. Who am I to argue with a good idea? Will Mongoose and Thorin be able to get a win on their own when the playing field is leveled? We'll find out the answer next week. In the meantime I expect we'll be hearing some complaints from "Big Daddy Duke"...
We hope to bring you an update on The Daisy World Cup from our JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner. The winner of this massive tournament will not only win the Daisy World Cup, but will also be getting a contract here with JWA as part of our burgeoning Women's division.
Last week we witnessed the Tag Team OF DOOM, that being Chief Buffalo and The Professional Wrestler OF DOOM, pick up a huge victory over former tag champions Big Waves. Indeed, it was a shock to all of us to see Buffalo and DOOM getting their hands raised. I'm sure that the Tag Team OF DOOM think they're in line for a title shot, and they very well might be, but I've heard rumblings that Pierre and Chesterton may not be done with those two just yet.
That's about enough from me. Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on May 2, 2023 17:59:09 GMT -5
*We see Big Waves taking shelter in Troglo's cave after a surprise thunderstorm*
Troglo: *lights a fire for warmth* pretty......
Pierre: *I belly laugh*
Chesterton: *eating a protein bar*
Troglo: *tilts his head to the side like a puppy*
Chesterton: *sees Troglo do this* Want one?
Troglo: *nods and nearly bites Chesterton's hand*
Chesterton: Oi let me take off the wrapper first
Troglo: *sniffs the bar and nibbles it before gasping then proceeds to eat the whole thing*
Chesterton: That good?
Troglo: *grins as he has crumbs all over his beard*
Pierre: *I whisper something to Chesterton who nods in agreement*
Chesterton: Uh.... Mr. Troglo?
Troglo: *grunts* HMM?
Chesterton: We were wondering if you would like to come to the JWA with us.....
Troglo: *grunts in confusion*
Pierre: There's two teams giving us trouble as of late.....
Troglo: Friends.... need.... help.... TROGLO.... GIVE.... HELP..... *he puts Mr. Troglo on his arm, raises it, and lets out a primal yell*
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Post by Penguino on May 2, 2023 18:06:49 GMT -5
Penguino comes out to “Where My Mouth Is” by Taking Back Sunday with Johnny Kobra by his side. Johnny whispers to Penguino some sort of strategy and Penguino looking ready wearing his Karate black belt and Penguin Kai headband walks to the ring and jumps through the middle rope
Leray “Penguino looks to be no nonsense today and wants his opportunity for the world title.”
Beeman “Well he needs to get through Tommy End first.”
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Post by Daisy Turner on May 2, 2023 22:33:19 GMT -5
Daisy: Hello everyone. Your Women's Champion is here and I know most of you have been waiting to hear the results so here we go! Lets start with the Afro-Eurasia Bracket - Sakura Watanabe vs Suki Misumi = Sakura Watanabe (Japan)
- Dan-Bi Yun vs Karishma Laghari = Karishma Laghari (India)
- Nargiza Yusupov vs Siberia = Siberia (Russia)
- Ivy Jones vs Sweet Jane = Sweet Jane (Ireland)
- Élise Blanchet vs Libra = Élise Blanchet (France)
- Serpentina Stone vs Magdalena = Magdalena (Egypt)
- Annika Ngwenya vs Night Fang = Night Fang (Uganda)
Now we move on to the Austro-America Bracket - Brooklyn Belle vs Winter Hex = Winter Hex (USA) (Sorry Dukey)
- Brianna Campbell vs Molly Oliver = Molly Oliver (Canada)
- Petardo vs Maria Sánchez = Petardo (Mexico)
- Rhiannon vs Maia Taylor = Rhiannon (Australia)
- Dixie Thunderbird vs Larissa Ribeiro = Dixie Thunderbird (USA)
- Estrella vs Daniela Marquez = Estrella (Puerto Rico)
- Augustina Argentina vs Keisha Ali = Augustina Argentina (Argentina)
And that's the results. Congratulations to all the women who made it to the second round. I would also like to give a congratulations to those who tried their best but did not succeed. Just know. Just because you didn't win, doesn't mean I might not scout you. That's right. If I liked your performance, I may even get you a contract too.
Know. For the future of the Daisy World Cup. The 2nd Round is being produced as I speak and. 1 lucky competitor from each bracket will get a bye, meaning they move on instantly into the Quarter-Finals. They will be drawn at random. So ladies... Good Luck!
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Post by Dark Mauler on May 3, 2023 4:50:18 GMT -5
*Violent by DefBeats (https://youtu.be/qaTi-fe-RSc) begins to play, and Tommy End enters a JWA arena for the first time in months. The Dutch Destroyer looks noticeably different, having leaned out in his time away from the company. The attire is new as well, instead of his typical wrestling trunks Tommy is wearing vale tudo style shorts.*
LeRay: I hope everyone in attendance here tonight, and everyone watching around the world is ready for this matchup tonight! The former JWA Champion Tommy End makes his return to competition, and he’s facing quite a dangerous challenge in Penguino. Expect a striking clinic here tonight, as both man and penguin are skillEd in the martial arts.
Beeman: An interesting matchup, but can Penguino really compare to the Flying Dutchman in striking? No one else in the company has been able to.
LeRay: We will find out very soon, as the bell is ring and the two combatants meet in the center of the ring. Tommy is immediately on the offensive, throwing an elbow strike. Penguino responds with a flipper to the chest of Tommy, who responds with another elbow! Rapid fire exchanges early, and Tommy gets a leg sweep to end their first striking duel with an advantage!
Beeman: A leg sweep is tame by Tommy End standards. I want to see something brutal!
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Post by Penguino on May 3, 2023 6:16:50 GMT -5
Penguino quickly on the floor rolls up Tommy End into a small package for a no count but it gives him the opportunity to get up on his feet with Tommy.
Leray “Both men are rather even here once again as they go to lock up.”
While Tommy is contemplating whether to lock up or not Penguino leg sweeps him sending Tommy to the ground this time. He lets Tommy get back up to his feet and Penguino hits a drop kick sending End into the corner who reverses a flipper chop sending Penguino into the corner and he starts repeatedly kneeing into his chest and punching him in the face.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on May 3, 2023 6:36:43 GMT -5
Prior to the main event
Honest Sal: Fans, please welcome my guests at this time... Tembleberry and The Earl of Jackson!
(A smattering of boos and groans fill the JWA Studio as the two make their way to the podium)
Sal: Tembleberry; Earl; A request was made for this time for you two to speak.
Tembleberry: Indeed, Sal, it was. His Lordship and The Duke are not currently at the studio this week, rather they are at a retreat deep in the Himalayas to focus their strategy, strengthen their bodies and minds, and reconnect with the universe.
Sal: The Himalayas?
Earl: Yeah, you know, Dolly Parton and stuff.
Sal: Don't you mean the Dalai Lama?
Tembleberry: MOVING ON! Mr. Whistler has stated that if it were completely up to him, he would have had The Earl and I banned from ringside permanently. I will have him know that the state athletic commission recognizes our managerial licenses, which means that if he were to ban us from ringside he would have to answer to the state!
Earl: A death worse than fate!
Sal: Don't you mean-
Tembleberry: HOWEVER! Rather than being allowed to perform our ringside duties as usual, next week we will be tossed into what can only be described as a free-for-all. How is that fair? The Earl and I are not fighters by trade!
Sal: If I'm not mistaken, Earl used to wrestle quite frequently here in JWA up until he joined up with Thorin.
Tembleberry: I've had just about enough of your backtalk, Sal! While His Lordship, The Duke, The Earl, AND myself all greatly disagree with this decision to have a lumberjack match next week, we are all willing to do whatever is necessary to win the battle and prove that we are the greatest tag team champions this company has ever seen or will ever see!
Sal: You talk like you and Earl are part of the team, but only Duke and Thorin are the champions. You just keep interfering in their matches - illegally, I might add.
Earl: Duke told me to tell you to call your grandmother, Sal.
Sal: Oh. I guess this interview is over?
Tembleberry: Indeed!
Sal: Alright, well then, good luck next week at ringside during the lumberjack match when "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Duke Mongoose face off with JWA World Heavyweight Champion "Relentless" Conor Caine and Mack Caliber.
Earl: Shut up, Sal! And don't forget to call your grandmother. Duke made that part seem REALLY important.
Tembleberry: And now we take our leave. Good day!
(Tembleberry and Jackson leave the podium)
Sal: Fans, stay tuned! We've got more JWA Glory coming up right after this break!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on May 3, 2023 12:30:59 GMT -5
A postcard-like photo appears on the Jerkatron: imgur.com/gallery/7LiIb6AA caption reads: Enjoying some R&R in Rio with the family. See you all soon! — Arizona and Veronica |
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on May 3, 2023 12:45:40 GMT -5
tagteam of doom (buff and tgpwod) stand backstage huffing and puffing like big bad wolves, toni cruise lifts a microphone and asks some dumb question and buff yanks it from her hand...
here's a question for ya...how come we don't have a tag team title shot yet? huh? riddle me that? riddle me this? hey-diddle-riddle what's in the middle? the tag team of doom!! KA BOOM!! we beat the old champs, i beat half of those punks in the jumping jack slumber lumber match next week...but no body says gold and the tag team of doom...ain't nobody not saying nothing ya quadruple-purple-negative-nancies! listen up and listen good and listen like i knew you would...we'll be there for the match as jumper slumber jim-bobs...but i can't promise to put anyone back in the ring all good and proper, that lordship has sailed...and on the horizon? Its. Your. DOOM!
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on May 3, 2023 13:10:46 GMT -5
Doom, who is next to Buffalo, notices a donut on the table next to him. He picks it up, and sees something next to it. Cheese. Doom lets out a loud and blood curdling scream. The unfortunate man at the table 16 feet away was rushed to the hospital and is now deaf.
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Post by Penguino on May 3, 2023 13:48:07 GMT -5
Penguino whilst being punched kicks away Tommy End and sends him away from the corner. Penguino goes to the top rope while End is standing and goes for a flying crossbody but eats a knee to the face of Penguino in midair.
Leray “OH MY GOD! That looked brutal.”
Beeman “Finally the penguin gets what he deserves.”
Leray “No man or animal deserves to get their beak crushed in by another’s knee.”
Beeman “Blah Blah Blah.”
Penguino is on the floor and Tommy End waits in the corner for Penguino to get up possibly setting him up for something while Johnny Kobra shouts at Penguino from the outside of the ring.
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Post by Dark Mauler on May 3, 2023 16:20:12 GMT -5
LeRay: Penguino is finally getting up, but that might be a big mistake! Discus big boot from Tommy, but Penguino ducks underneath and delivers a chop block that staggers Tommy down to one knee!
Beeman: Height might be an advantage, but being as short as Penguino is seems to help him out! He’s a harder target to hit than any of Tommy’s usual opponents!
LeRay: Penguino now takes advantage, as he lands a big dropkick that takes Tommy down! But Penguino isn’t done just yet, as he picks Tommy up, and hits the Ice Fishing suplex! Penguino bridges, and gets a two count!
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Post by Dark Mauler on May 3, 2023 20:55:27 GMT -5
LeRay: Penguino pulls Tommy back to his feet, and lifts him up for the Icebreaker, but Tommy wriggles behind! Penguino turns around into a question mark kick! Tommy makes the cover, 1,2,3! The Dutch Destroyer is back with a bang!
Beeman: Red Pirate Rogers better watch out, because when Tommy gets his hands on that bilge rat it’ll be bad for him!
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