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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on May 10, 2023 14:15:28 GMT -5
As Duke tries to fend off Big Waves, and Haberdashery is busy keeping an eye on the fracas, Caine is distracted by the Earl of Jackson who’s climbed the apron. The JWA Champion goes to take a swing at Jackson, who pulls the rope down and Caine is dumped outside by Thorin, who came rushing up behind to capitalize on the distraction.
LeRay: And still the Tag Champs’ entourage are able to interfere!
Beeman: That’s nothin’ but good lumberjackin’, Mick!
Mack comes into the ring and starts laying in to Thorin with punches and kicks. Meanwhile outside, Caine is brawling with Earl Jackson as Tembleberry moves in to help. This brings Penguino in for the save, but he’s intercepted by Chief Buffalo.
LeRay: The bodies are starting to pile up out here, as Johnny Kobra hits a splash off the barrier to help his protégé!
Beeman: But wait! The Professional Wrestler OF DOOM is rushing in to… trip on his cape and fall head-first into the crowd… but still, things are really exciting out here!
Daisy Turner hops on the ringsteps and hits a senton on Buffalo. Before long, Big Waves and Mongoose have folded into the scrum
LeRay: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s turning into bedlam out here. The entire locker room is piling up at one corner of ringide and, somewhere under that pile of bodies, the JWA Champion is getting flattened!
Beeman: In hindsight, this lumberjack match is the best idea that numbskull ever had! Tell the ambulance not to rush on its way here.
LeRay: But wait… what’s that… rumbling?!
Beeman: I don’t know, but the whole studio’s shaking and it seems to be coming from right underneath that scrum! Is that… do you think that’s a load-bearing section of concrete floor?!
Rightly so, the studio is starting to shake and rumble; the sound getting louder and the shaking becoming more unbearable, when…
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Post by Bad Luck Bradley on May 10, 2023 14:20:45 GMT -5
The quake continues to grow, a growling rumble like the deep gurgle of a beast. One that hungers, unsated. The pile of bodies begin to stir, quivering like undercooked egg, the faces of those in the human sprawl alighting on confusion, fear and then finally a primal terror. Like the blooming of a flower, the grapplers burst apart, legs and arms spiralling away, landing in heaps, falling into the crowd, cracking off the apron and skidding underneath the ring like a sprinting Titus. The crowd arise as one, searching for the reason for the explosion of flesh. Amongst the writhing of the pained wrestlers, two figures stand. One is our friend, our brother, our champion Conorandcaine. The other...
A reaction from those in the audience. Wrestling fans are suckers for returns, love a comeback and pop for a familiar face. Even if that face is a heel.
Chants rise up, both good and bad as the baddest of them all, the Bad Luck Wrestler, the leader of the Bad Luck Bros himself, Bad Luck Bradley stands, facing the champ. Caine locks eyes with the man who helped fight off the pile-on both men do not move and then, suddenly, as one, and to a cacophonous applause, the pair embrace, beating each other's backs, as former rivals only can.
Beeman: Great Googly Moogly!
Leray: I don't believe it. I won't believe it!
The pair break apart and Caine goes to speak - perhaps to thank Brad or welcome him back - but stops as Brad's gaze does not meet his. Instead, Brad's eyes fall upon the timekeeper's table. There, the JWA championship belt lies. Brad takes a plundering step, gingerly moving past the pained humans below. Caine follows and they both reach the table at the same time. Caine's hand is upon the belt - his belt - and Brad...
Brad is holding an enormous cup of soda. He takes a slurp and offers it to Caine.
Chants spiral around the men, none seeming to land for more than a second before being replaced by others - TAKE A SIP / DRINK BRAD'S DRINK BRAD'S DRINK BRAD'S DRINK / LET'S GO BIG GULP - before finally landing on duelling CAINE AND BRAD-LEY / BAD LUCK BROS!
Caine looks around and for a moment, only a single moment, the champ looks ready to repeat history and smash the cup right into the face of Bradley. But, with a deep breath and what can be described as the littlest sip, he wrapped his lips around the straw (metal, clearly Brad's personal straw) and takes a sensual mouthful.
The crowd erupts. The stunned wrestlers stir. Caine gives Brad a nod, mouthing something, and propels himself into the ring once again.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on May 10, 2023 14:42:18 GMT -5
LeRay: Fans, as we try to get a grip on what's going on here with the shocking return of Bad Luck Bradley, we have to turn our attention back to the ring where Conor Caine and Taylor Thorin are the legal competitors.
Beeman: Where is The Duke? Did he get trampled in that heyrube?
LeRay: I'm not sure, but Thorin takes a stiff knee right to the chin and he's down!
Beeman: Mick! MICK!
LeRay: Yes, Sean?
Beeman: My wallet is gone! One of these lumberjacks stole it! I'm looking at YOU, Penguino!
LeRay: Meanwhile, Caine has Thorin set up - NOVACAINE! He planted His Lordship right on the crown of his head! Caine goes for the cover!
*One...Two......*
Beeman: DUKE WITH THE SAVE!
LeRay: Much to the dismay of the fans here in attendance, Duke Mongoose has risen from the sea of humanity at ringside and broken up the pin, saving the match for his team. His actions won't go unpunished, as here comes Mack Caliber and now we've got all four men in the ring once again!
Beeman: It's a pier six brawl, LeRay! And that bird brain definitely stole my wallet!
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on May 10, 2023 14:56:25 GMT -5
Mack is heating up here and the crowd are eating everything up. It seems no-one can choose where to look, there's so much going on!
Jab, kick, jab, kick...Thorin can't defend, it's almost as if he can't see his opponent! He's backed into the ropes and Mack whips him across the ring just as another brawl between some of the lumberjacks breaks out. Chief Buffalo and Arizona Chance are going at it full pelt, Chief lifts the GOAT up and throws him into the ropes as Thorin heads towards it, causing Thorin to fly to the outside landing in a lumpy mess.
The lumberjacks pause their fighting for a minute, look at Thorin, then decide to put aside everything for one moment at getting to the tag champs. On one side of the ring, Duke is being jumped by 3...no 4...including Women's champion Daisy. On the other side Thorin is kicked and booted.
Tembleberry and the Earl of Jackson are frozen for a second, not knowing which way to go first...their decision is taken away from them as Conor Caine and Mack Calliber jump them both, using the chaos to get some much wanted revenge on the pair of lackeys. The crowd are loving it!!
BEEMAN: "REFEREE!! WHISTLER!!! SOMEONE SORT THIS OUT THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR!!!!"
LERAY: "It looks like the numbers game has finally turned on the tag champs tonight! Everyone is getting their two pennys worth!"
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Post by “heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber on May 10, 2023 15:13:37 GMT -5
It’s time.
I nod over toward Brad, who nods back knowingly. Lovingly, even, although that creeps me out a bit. He pulls out from under the ring a few steel beams, a blowtorch and a welding helmet and gets to work.
I also get to work, by throwing Duke out of the ring in the vicinity of Big Waves, who start smiling and beat on Duke. I jump outside the other side and throw Jackson and Tembleberry into the ring, and then over to the other side. I yell at Conor to keep Thorin busy in the ring, and I see that Brad is finished with his construction. He has hastily welded together a fifteen foot scaffold outside the ring. I run toward it and use the top rope to springboard up and grab the railing, and manage to pull myself up to the top.
All of the lumberjacks have been gathered together. Duke is taking a beating from Pierre, Penguino is pounding on Tembleberry, Chesterton has Jackson in a surfboard stretch. I yell at Conor that he knows what to do, make the sign of the cross, and dive onto the pile, wiping out everyone.
It’s all on Conor now.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on May 10, 2023 15:40:12 GMT -5
Caine has Thorin in the corner when Mack wipes the rest of the JWA locker room out with one insane move. The momentary distraction of absolute carnage is all Thorin needs, as he thumbs Caine in the eye and kicks him in the groin as Haberdashery is looking to the floor outside in absolute disbelief.
LeRay: Low blow from "Lord" Taylor Thorin!
Beeman: How can you be paying attention to what's going on inside the ring right now?!
LeRay: Because it's my job!
Thorin unleashes a brutal attack on Caine while he's immobilised: kicking him around the mat, stomping him, slapping him around the head. Caine struggles to the ropes and pulls himself to his feet, all the while being set upon by Thorin.
LeRay: A back elbow from Caine creates some distance between the two men. A big right hand! And another! Oof! A knee to the gut stops Caine's momentum!
Beeman: And there it is! Cradle Tombstone Piledriver! Thorin goes for the pin!
LeRay: But the referee is MIA! Panther Haberdashery is out on the floor here, checking on all the these downed competitors!
Thorin goes to the side of the ring and reaches down to get Panther's attention, summoning him back to the ring, spitting venomous vitriol the entire time.
LeRay: A truly unsportsmanslike show from "Lord" Taylor Thorin! Everybody - including his own stablemates - are injured outside the ring, and he's only interested in winning!
Beeman: These are the kind of tough decisions a champion has to make, Mick! Thorin is doing what he has to in order to maintain the legacy of greatness that he and Duke Mongoose are forging here in the JWA!
LeRay: How poetic! My heart bleeds for his selfless sacrifice!
Beeman: And here's the cover! One...! Two...! Thr...!
LeRay: Kickout by Caine! Just inches from defeat!
Beeman: Well if that no-good Panther Haberdashery would have kept his eye on the match, this one would have been over!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on May 10, 2023 16:28:10 GMT -5
LeRay: Duke Mongoose is wildly throwing punches as he attempts to get back into this match, but that dive from Caliber really did a job on everyone out here.
Beeman: I still can't believe Bad Luck Bradley constructed that scaffold. I wouldn't trust that guy to tie his own shoes!
LeRay: OH MY! Duke connects with a double Running Neckbreaker Drop on Chesterton and Penguino! Duke drops Pierre with a headbutt to the groin!
Beeman: Get 'em, Duke!
LeRay: Duke lightly shoves Daisy Turner against the guardrail on his way to hitting another double Running Neckbreaker Drop on Chief Buffalo and The Professional Wrestler OF DOOM! Duke is on fire right now!
Beeman: The momentum is shifting, LeRay! This is why Duke and His Lordship are the Tag Team Champions!
LeRay: Mongoose turns the corner around the ring and he and Bradley have locked eyes!
Beeman: Duke's going to make quick work of this idiot.
LeRay: Keep in mind that Duke Mongoose has never beaten Bad Luck Bradley in a singles match.
Beeman: How is that relevant to anything?
(Bad Luck Bradley takes a big swig from his drink before again locking eyes with an oncoming Duke Mongoose)
Bad Luck Bradley: JUICY MONGOOSEY!
(Duke goes for a Running Neckbreaker Drop on Bradley, but just as Duke gets to him, Bradley accidentally drops his drink and spills it all over the floor. Brad bends over to pick it up and Duke sails past him, landing back first on the concrete floor)
LeRay: What a lucky break for the bad luck wrestler, as he just managed to avoid one of Duke's signature maneuvers!
Beeman: Of course the moron would do something stupid just in the nick of time!
LeRay: It seems that all of the lumberjacks at ringside are incapacitated once again, either from Duke's attack or Mack's previous dive, and in the ring "Lord" Taylor Thorin has Conor Caine locked into the Kimura! Will the World Heavyweight Champion tap out?
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Post by Thumper Moore III on May 10, 2023 16:52:11 GMT -5
Dec 1, 2022 Bad Luck Bradley looks at the beer in his hands. He raises it to Hito and then sets it on the bar. He takes a napkin and writes on it, folding it before handing it to Jackson. "Give that to Amazonia," he says before leaving. “Hey, Amazo— Arizona, this was left for you.” Jackson handed Arizona a napkin. Arizona took the napkin and looked at the contents, snickered, and put it in his pocket. Present Day In a hotel room in Kuala Lumpur, Arizona is awakened in the early morning with a kiss from his wife. The past two weeks have been a whirlwind— Rio, Macchu Pichu, Manila, Bangkok, and now the capital of Malaysia. Arizona smiles at his wife and absent-mindedly flips on the ancient CRT TV in their quaint suite overlooking the Strait of Malacca. To his surprise, he sees a pirated feed of Glory. “Hey babe, look at this— Mack just dived off this scaffold onto everyone. Somebody is in a welder’s mask and— HOLY S%*+.” Veronica looks up at the screen. “Is that…” “Brad is back.” Arizona reaches into the pocket of his pants as they dangled on the nightstand and pulls out the note given to him six months before. “It’s time, babe.” He unfolds the note and Veronica reads it aloud. “‘Amazonia’— he always had that funny way of saying your name— ‘would you like to be a Bad Luck Bro and form a tag team? — Brizzad’. Zona, you said no wrestling talk while we were gone!” “You’re right babe, sorry. It’s just… let’s just say that it was some good luck that I saw that, because now I know the next step for my career. Anyway, we’re off to Kathmandu soon. Tomorrow I’ve secured an audience with the Dalai Lama…’s assistant to learn about inner peace.” |
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on May 10, 2023 17:59:52 GMT -5
Thorin has the Kimura locked in tight, wrenching back and twisting Caine's shoulder and arm to a grotesque angle. Caine is yelling out in agony.
LeRay: Caine's leg is mere feet away from the ropes! If he can get his bearings, there's a chance he can get a foot to the ropes and cause a break!
Beeman: Look at the expression on his face, the only thing that guy is getting a grasp of is how much trouble he's in right now. TAP, CONOR! TAP ALREADY!
Caine's leg flails wildly as he tries for the rope, but he misses again and again.
Beeman: He's done for, Mick! He's gonna have to tap or, better yet, have his arm broken!
Caine's foot grazes the bottom rope and the audience gasps. He swings the foot again and this time his toes just hook the rope.
LeRay: He made it! Panther is calling for the rope break! But, no! Thorin has kicked Caine's foot off the rope and is refusing to let go of the hold!
Beeman: Seems perfectly fair to me!
Haberdashery is counting for Thorin to break the hold, meanwhile Thorin is wrenching the lock for all it's worth. However, having released his legs from around Caine's waist to kick his foot off the ropes, Thorin has surrendered some control over Caine, who uses his feet to push himself off the mat and flips over, simultaneously reversing the pressure on his arm and landing in a bridging pin position on the supine Thorin.
LeRay: That's a cover! One! Two! Kickout!
Both men get to their feet and Caine immediately goes for a Raising Caine, but his arm is too messed up to hit the move. Thorin fights free with elbow shots to Caine's head, sending Caine back to the ropes. Thorin runs at him, going for a clothesline...
LeRay: Caine pulls down the rope, Thorin goes spilling to the outside, and right onto the shoulders of Mack Caliber! MAGNUM SLUG!!!
Mack flops back to the floor, spent. And Pierre arrives to pick Thorin up like a ragdoll: he hoists His Lordship overhead and tosses him unceremoniously back in the ring. Thorin drags himself back to his feet and spins around to see Caine come dashing out of a corner...
LeRay: SPEAR! That looks like it hurt Caine just as much as Thorin, but the JWA Champion manages a cover and there's the three count! Relentless Aggression win their first tag team match!
Beeman: Along with a little help from their friends!
LeRay: A precedent set by Your Lordship and Duke Mongoose, and it came back to bite them tonight! But that's all we have time for folks! Goodnight!
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on May 11, 2023 7:36:53 GMT -5
OOC: That was a fun read.
Just the right amount of chaos.
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