JWA Glory Episode 144

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

Tonight's main event is a preview battle - a taste, if you will - of the next week's Super Glory main event. One member from each team in next week's 4 way Tag Team Championship match will compete against each other tonight to try to gain momentum and an advantage heading into next week's match. Who can gain that edge? We're about to find out!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Yes, next week's show will be a Super Glory, and as mentioned before the main event will be a 4 way battle for the JWA World Tag Team Championship. "Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose will defend against the challenge of The Tag Team OF DOOM, Big Waves, and Relentless Aggression! While on paper each team has a 25% chance of victory, you'd have to imagine that the champions will have slightly worse odds with three teams gunning for their titles!

Super Glory will also feature a match to determine the next challenger for Daisy Turner's Women's World Championship, when Daisy World Cup winner Winter Hex takes on Sakura Watanabe! The winner of that match will challenge Daisy on the June 27/28 episode of Glory! We expect to hear from all involved parties during tonight's show.

Next week will also feature the grudge match between Tommy End and Red Pirate Rogers. Last week we saw Rogers make his triumphant return to the JWA Studio to accept End's challenge. These two never disappoint when they meet in the ring, and the outcome of this one could have huge implications for future championship matches!

No one has stepped up to accept Arizona and Veronica Chance's mixed-match challenge. I know they're ready and willing to face anyone. Will we find out who it will be this week?

Let's not waste any more time. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Chad Shredsbury]

“It Could Have Been Me” blares out and Chesterton Shredsbury heads to the ring, Big Waves surfboard in tow.

LeRay. And here comes the first combatant in tonight’s main event, Sean. Your favorite Welsh Waverider!

Beeman. Conspicuous by his absence is Shredsbury’s Big Waves Bro, Pierre the Enormous. I’d consider not having the giant out here is a disadvantage from the start.

LeRay. Well, perhaps his opponents will come out here on their own as well.

Beeman. I doubt many of them are that dumb, LeRay.

LeRay. It never ceases to amaze me how you blur the lines between honor and intellect, Sean. But also not here tonight is Chesterton’s newfound friend Troglo.

Beeman. He will not be missed. That may actually be a smart move by Shreds.

LeRay. And there he is, surfing the corner turnbuckle as we’ve seen so many times before. Chesterton hasn’t won very many matches at all of late, so he’s really going to have a lot to prove her tonight.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*A live feed from Killie's plays on a monitor*

Jackson: Here ya are guys *a massive platter of hot wings is sat in front of two thirds of Big Waves*

Pierre: Thank you Jackson

Troglo: TH-*snort*-ank y-ou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackson: You're welcome fellas

*Troglo and I dig into our hot wings while we watch Chesterton's match*

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

Winter: Alright so I'm guessing you are all here to find out the equalizer. Daisy and Sakura may have the numbers advantage to make sure my wrestling career goes nowhere, but that stops today. Allow me to introduce to you. A REALLLY Good friend of your pathetic JWA Women's Champion. Miss Jessie!

Miss Jessie walks out to an array of boos.

Jessie: Yes that is right. I'm here to support my friend, Winter Hex. And we actually have a few in common, like our favorite dish, favorite movie, and of course the certainty that Winter Hex will walk out of Super Glory the #1 contender for the JWA Women's World Champion.

Just a Girl by No Doubt plays and Daisy Turner along with Sakura Watanabe walk out.

Daisy: That's good and all that you guys have a few in common but we actually have a different certainty. The matter of the fact is that Sakura Watanabe will be walking out of Super Glory the #1 contender

Winter: And how do you know that? Oh that's right, you're going to cheat to make sure your friend wins and then she'll lie down and let you retain.

Daisy: … No. I just think you don't have what it takes to defeat Sakura Watanabe a second time, but this time in front of the best crowd a wrestling company has ever seen.

Jessie: Hey Daisy, you're forgetting something, I'm here as well. And this time you don't have that bastard child to help take me down.

Daisy: Wait till Veronica hear that. Something tells me you be making it to Super Glory. Also aren't you forgetting something. The Mud Match.

Sakura: デイジーとミス・ジェシーはこの試合のためにバックステージに残ることができます

Jessie: Huh?

Daisy: I actually like that idea Sakura. See what Sakura was saying is that you Jessie and I can just stay backstage and not get involved.

Winter: Absolutely not. Miss Jessie is here to help me

Daisy: Help you with what?

Winter: Umm
Jessie: Emotional Support, yeah emotional.

Daisy: Well too bad cause I just got a text message from Kip himself agreeing to Sakura's idea, so too bad so sad.

Jessie & Winter Hex walk out furious

Sakura: なんてバカの集団なんだ

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

My music hits and I bust through the curtain. I have a microphone in hand.

Sup Chest, good to see you again.
Wish I could say the same bout these other two gents.
Lord Thorin, get your ass ready for a beatin.
And Doom, may I suggest that you go vegan?

Tonight’s about building momentum, so I hear.
I have a couple other goals tonight, so let’s be clear:
I’m gonna suplex Doom. I’m gonna make the surfer shrug.
I’m gonna make Taylor’s dumb face eat a Magnum Slug.

So pull up a chair, Savvy Sean, flap your gums.
It’ll be a long night for you and it’s hardly begun.
When I win tonight, it’s not momentum that I’ll carry.
We’ll be sure to win the tag titles next week at Super Glory.

I drop my microphone, slide into the ring and shake hands with Shreds before awaiting the opponents.

[Duke Mongoose]

("Palladio" by Escala plays, then segues into "Haven't You Heard" by the North Panics. A clearly beaten up Tembleberry and Earl of Jackson lead "Lord" Taylor Thorin down the aisle amidst a sea of booing fans. Duke Mongoose pulls up the rear, posing, flexing, and pointing to this championship belt)

LeRay: Unfortunately it looks like the entourage is back in full effect for his Lordship's match this week.

Beeman: Why is that unfortunate? You should be impressed by the sheer fortitude on display. Tembleberry and The Earl are working through immense pain following that uncalled for assault by our so-called "champion" last week.

LeRay: Be that as it may, Mack Caliber is out here alone and so is Chesterton Shredsbury.

Beeman: Fools, the lot of 'em!

(As the group make their way to ringside, referee JP "Jack" LeBiggun cuts them off. He tells them something then points dramatically to the back. All four men look incensed)

LeRay: It looks like referee Jack LeBiggun has tossed everyone except Thorin from ringside! Good call!

Beeman: This is ridiculous! How is this fair? What if his Lordship needs counsel during the match?

LeRay: Well it looks like he's going to have to go this one alone, Beeman. Duke, Tembleberry, and The Earl are all now leaving but under heavy protest.

Beeman: Whistler has gone too far! He'll be hearing from my... I mean... I'm sure he'll be hearing from my Lord's attorneys!

LeRay: Oh brother.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. I can understand the concept of being fashionably late, but where in the world is The Professional Wrestler of Doom?

Beeman. Aherm! That’s the Greatest Professional Wrestler of Doom!

LeRay. Don’t you start with that again. I must say Thorin is looking very uncomfortable without his cronies around, Sean.

Beeman. Cronies? How dare you speak ill again of his Lordship’s emotional support team. You can be very insensitive towards people’s feeling and individual needs, LeRay. Would you call a seeing eye dog a crony as well?

LeRay. Will you stop! Wait just a moment. It looks like Mack an Chesterton are tired of waiting for Doom as well. They are circling Thorin. He looks fit to jump right out of his skin right now.

Beeman. That’s not fair. There’s been no bell!

LeRay. Referee Jack LeBiggun has called for the bell!!

Beeman. He can’t do that to my Lord!

LeRay. He’s the official! He can do whatever he wants! And Mack Caliber smashes Thorin in the mouth with a lunch and sends him right into a step up enzugiri by Chesterton!

Beeman. They can’t do that to my Lord!

LeRay. They sure did! And his Lordship hits the canvas and rolls out of the ring for a powder.

Beeman. Run m’Lord! Take to the hills, champ! This is an outrage!

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

(In Kip's office)

Winter: This is unacceptable!

Jessie: You can't do this

Winter: Miss Jessie is my friend and she has every right to be out there

Jessie: You should've just kicked Daisy out of the match. She has no reason to be there

Kip: Girls lis-

Winter: I knew he was against me. He loves Sakura. Just like everyone else on this dimwitted roster.

Jessie: I shouldn't have to call the board of directors on you

Winter: This is so stu-

Kip: GIRLS! ENOUGH! My decision is final Miss Jessie and Daisy are not to be at ringside. End. Of. Story.

Winter: But you can't do this. Who knows what Sakura will do to cheat. That's why I need her out there. You can't do this

Kip: Oh I can. And I just did. Do you know what else I could do? I could just easily cancel the match and name Sakura Watanabe the #1 Contender, it's your call

Winter: Fine! Miss Jessie will stay backstage

Winter Hex & Miss Jessie walk out of his office

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Cameras follow Winter and Jessie into the corridor, where they're passed by "The Relentless" Conor Caine. The camera then follows Conor down the corridor.

LeRay: It's the JWA Champion, Conor Caine! And he's in his wrestling attire! Where's he headed, Sean?
Beeman: Hopefully out to the parking lot, to whatever jalopy he drives because he's not booked to fight tonight and nobody out here wants to see him!

On his way to wherever he's headed, Caine picks up a folding chair from the top of a stack laying on the floor. The fans watching in the studio, seeing this on the monitors, cheer.

Beeman: What does he think he's doing?! I hope Kip Whistler can see this, and that security are on their way to evict this thug from the building!

Caine arrives in Gorilla Position, where Duke Mongoose, Tembleberry and Earl Jackson are huddled in a corner conspiratorially. Caine stops when he sees them and puffs out his chest.

LeRay: A stare down between the JWA Champion and one half of the Tag Team Champions! Are we going to see a fight break out backstage?!

Caine and Duke stare each other down from opposite sides of the space, until Caine lifts the chair. Again, the fans cheer, expecting a ruckus, but Caine unfolds the chair and sets it down next to the curtain.

LeRay: What the--?!

Caine sits on the chair, pulls out some tape and begins slowly, deliberately wrapping it around his fists.

Duke: You planning on going somewhere with your fists all taped up?
Caine: Nope.
Duke: So just what are you playing at, you idiot?
Caine: I'm planning on staying right here with my fists all taped up, and if even one of you takes a half-step towards this curtain, I'm gonna lay you all out on your asses.

Caine doesn't lift his head as he speaks and, when finished talking, continues to tape up. The camera pans to Duke scowling at the other side of the room.

[Chad Shredsbury]

As the JWA Champ plants himself in his chair we now see The Greatest Professional Wrestler of Doom hurry by, through the curtain and into the arena. As Lord Taylor Thorin stands on the ramp, badmouthing the double team effort he endured from his opponents, Doom comes barreling across the stage, his cape flapping all over the place.

Beeman. Here comes the Greatest Professional Wrestler of Doom! Look at how fast the big man runs! What an athlete!

LeRay. And once again, Doom trips and falls. He is rolling all the way down the ramp!

Beeman. Oh no. Turn around M’Lord! You’re going to be steamrolled!

LeRay. Thorin has no idea Doom is uncontrollably rolling up behind him like a 400 pound tumbleweed! And down goes Thorin! Both men are tangled up at ringside.

Beeman. This is unconstitutional! Why are you laughing? WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING?!

LeRay. It looks like Mack Caliber and Chesterton Shredsbury are having a laugh as well. That looked like something out of a Bad Luck Bradley match.

Beeman. It’s alright. I think the champ is ok. He’s getting back up and giving Doom a what for. As well he should after that debacle.

LeRay. But here comes the Dude of Wales, with a plancha over the ropes to wipe his Lordship out once again.

Beeman. What was that now? LeBiggun better get this under control. This is supposed to be a wrestling match not a circus! Come on, man!!

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Before the main event we get a backstage vignette with Red Pirate Rogers at ease in the locker room, feet up, leaning back into his locker as Vinny Bambino looks on a little anxiously.

RPR: "Vincenzo, for the final time, I doubt you have anything to fear from our old friend Mr. End, our subterfuge is all part and parcel of the industry."

Vinny: "But, Red...he looked, y'know...real. REAL. mad."

RPR: "When's the last time you saw him with a smile" [Vinny pauses to think] "I'll save you the effort, Vincenzo, the answer is never. Why worry about his anger when you have the great fortune to see the joys of life all around you? To say nothing of the merry sense of humor that befits you as my dear friend, the Bronze Bosun."

(Vinny perks up at this reference--see Glory Episode #63, True Believers)

Vinny: "Maybe we could, uh...get a crew together for a run at the tag belts?"

RPR: "Perhaps...but I'd rather think your odds would be better teaming with Bambi to challenge the Chances...besides do you really want to get involved in all (he gestures across the room) that. (The camera pans and sees Chief Buffalo trying to get The Greatest Pro Wrestler of Doom over his fear of cheeses...ending with various shrieks and falls...then pans back to a concerned looking Rogers)."

Vinny: "I think I got a better chance against him than I do against Arizona or..."

Toni Cruise enters the scene: "Vinny, any thoughts on reports that Tommy End is looking to challenge you on Mania this week?"

Vinny: "Ummmmm....ooof boy..." (Rogers puts a sympathetic hand round Vinny's shoulders

[Chad Shredsbury]

OOC. I’m going to write the finish in a few short installments rather than one long one as there has been so little posted so far. If any other participants want to add on please feel free.


Beeman. Shredsbury is standing there posing like a… well… a poser. And the beach bum has forgotten all about the Greatest Professional Wrestler of Doom! And Doom levels him with a vicious headbutt!! Haha! He had that coming.

LeRay. He certainly may have. But now it’s Doom who is caught off caught as Mack Caliber delivers a suicide dive through the ropes and levels the big man! All four men outside the ring and as they slowly rise, fists are flying everywhere!!!

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Mack grabs Thorin and whips him into Doom, but Thorin bounces off the big man and hits the guardrail! Chesterton runs up the steps and drop kicks Doom into Mack, who hoists him up onto his shoulders and runs him into the ring post!

Beeman. How is this happening? What’s with the teamwork? This is a four way match! And, have Mack and Chesterton ever even met before?!

LeRay. I can’t say. But it looks like they are getting into the ring and squaring up against each other with the competition seemingly grounded for the time being. And this just might be a very interesting showdown, Sean.

[Chad Shredsbury]

Beeman. These two jerks are circling each other forever. They couldn’t wait to cheap shot M’Lord and now they want to wait all night to lay a finger on each other. Of course, the no good scallywags!

LeRay. Mack leaning back, calling for Chesterton’s best shot. And Shredsbury obliges with a forearm to the chest. Mack rears back and fires with a chop that rocks Chesterton. Both men with nod and now Chesteron goes for a roundhouse kick but Mack ducks and gives a kick to the midsection and follows with a ddt. Mack kips up and out of nowhere here come Doom with a charge. Mack sees him coming from a mile away and steps aside as Doom crunches hard into the turnbuckle and drops to the canvas.

Beeman. But Caliber turns around into a roundhouse that does find its mark from Shredsbury. And now Chesterton sends him into the ropes and takes him down with a Japanese arm drag!

LeRay. Both men to their feet and they lock up, bullying each other back and forth. Caliber should have the strength advantage here and he backs Chesterton into a corner and drops down to drive his shoulders into the Welshman’s midsection. Again. Again. A third time but no. Chesterton flips over Mack’s back and runs right into—

Beeman. A devastating clothesline by Lord Taylor Thorin! Who promptly covers for a one—. That is all.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. A one count only for Thorin as Chesterton kicks out and as Thorin gets up he delivers a vintage elbow to the back of Chesterton’s head. But here comes Mack Caliber running the ropes and taking the Lord down hard with a diving shoulder block. He picks Chesterton up and delivers a blue Thunder bomb. One-two-kick out!

Beeman. Everyone is in trouble if they don’t get Mack under control right now! LeBiggun never should have thrown Tembleberry out of here! At least Tembleberry should have stayed!!!

LeRay. Mack has turned his attention back to Thorin now and whips him up and drops him with a power bomb! One-two- but here comes Doom with a big splash! Mack rolls off and Doom crushes Thorin!

Beeman. NO!!

LeRay. Mack is up. Doom is up. Doom goes for a big haymaker, but Mack hoists him up on his shoulders! Could it be a magnum slug?

Beeman. NO!

LeRay. Even Mack is struggling with the big man up there! And Chesterton Shredsbury drop kicks Mack, barreling both Caliber and Doom over the top rope to the outside.

Beeman. NO!!!

LeRay. Chesterton hops over the rope to the apron. He looks in at Thorin. Springs off the top and Shreds the Gnar onto Thorin! One-two-three!!!