JWA Super Glory - June 2023 - Main Thread

[Kip Whistler]

JWA Presents...

SUPER GLORY

(The camera sweeps through the JWA Studio as fans wave and cheer and show their homemade signs to the camera. Eventually the camera settles on Mick LeRay and Sean Beeman sitting at the commentary position)

Mick LeRay: Hello, wrestling fans! We're coming to you live and direct from the JWA Studio for this very special Super Glory! I'm joined, as always, by "Savvy" Sean Beeman.

Sean Beeman: It never ceases to amaze me that they can fit this many stupid people into one building at the same time. Incredible!

LeRay: We've got a stacked card for you tonight, and here to give us the rundown is our own Toni Cruise. Toni, take it away!

(The camera switches to a screen showing graphics of the matches with Toni standing off to the side)

Toni: Our opening contest is a grudge match set for one fall with a 30 minute time limit, as Red Pirate Rogers will face off with Tommy End! The second bout tonight is a singles match with a 30 minute time limit to determine the next challenger for the JWA Women's World Championship: Popular Japanese star Sakura Watanabe squares off with the winner of the Daisy World Cup, Winter Hex! For this match, both Miss Jessie and Daisy Turner have been banned from ringside! Then finally, our main event, a four way match for the JWA World Tag Team Championship. One fall with no time limit. The champions, "Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose will defend against Big Waves (Chesterton Shredsbury & Pierre the Enormous), The Tag Team OF DOOM (Chief Buffalo & The Professional Wrestler OF DOOM), and Relentless Aggression ("Relentless" Conor Caine & Mack Caliber)! That's tonight's card and I'm sure everyone is just as pumped up as I am! Mick, Sean, back to you!

(Camera back to Mick and Sean at the desk)

LeRay: Bang up job, as ever, Toni.

Beeman: You don't have to be nice to her, she doesn't sign your checks or anything.

LeRay: We'll find out tonight who's next in line to challenge Daisy Turner for the JWA Women's World Championship. Between Watanabe and Winter, who've you got?

Beeman: You have to ask? I'm taking Winter all the way. She's going to crush that little pop idol wannabe then move on to crush our so-called champion! What I don't understand is why is Miss Jessie banned from ringside? She didn't do anything to anyone!

LeRay: But we know that she might, if given the chance. And fair is fair, since Daisy is also banned from ringside.

Beeman: She should be banned from wrestling, period. You saw what she did to Bambi Bambino and Veronica Chance back at Crash Carnival, didn't you?

LeRay: Indeed, truly a memorable night. How about the controlled chaos that will be our main event? Do I need to ask who you're picking in this one?

Beeman: "Controlled chaos"? Hah! I don't think there's a referee in JWA who can keep this thing under control. As to your question, I'm going with the champions to retain, all the way! His Lordship and The Duke and quite possibly the best tag team this company has ever seen, and they're not going to let anyone stand in their way.

LeRay: Statistically speaking, Big Waves is a better team.

Beeman: M'lord and The Duke haven't had enough time yet! Jeesh!

LeRay: Of the three challenger teams, who do you think has the best chance of winning?

Beeman: It pains me to say it, but if I had to pick one of the three, it would be Relentless Aggression. Mack Caliber is a proven champion and Conor Caine is the current JWA World Heavyweight Champion. If they weren't facing M'lord and The Duke, I'd say they're the winners.

LeRay: Interesting analysis, as always. Kicking us off tonight, though, is the grudge match between Red Pirate Rogers and Tommy End. This will be Red's first match back since losing the JWA World Heavyweight Title. Do you expect to see any ring rust on Rogers?

Beeman: Rust? He'll be covered in BARNACLES! The Dutch Destroyer is going to make mince-meat out of him tonight! The Crimson Corsair is going to wish he'd stayed on the high seas instead of coming back to the ring!

LeRay: Well, we won't have to wait long to find out. Fans, let's get down to the ring!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

[Penguino]

After the opening cons test Penguino comes out with Johnny Kobra holding a microphone.

Penguino waddles to the side of the ring and slides in with a very serious look in his face and Johnny Kobra takes the stairs to get into the ring

Kobra “So, I’ve been bored as of late especially not being able to watch my protege show No Mercy on someone and if I’m alone please correct me but I’m pretty sure every notable name on the roster is in a match tonight accept the people who are taking a break. Buuuuuut there is also the bottom of the barrel. So what I want to see is some guy who only exists if you scrape that barrel 20 times to loosen this guy off of the glass and then need to shake the bottle upside down to get him out. But the thing is Penguino want an actual challenge so I would prefer 2 or even 3 guys to come out and be sacrificed to the humanoid penguin.”

Penguino “That’s what I want in a nutshell so come on out and feed me fish.”

The Malarkey brothers come into the ring and scream into another Microphone “C’MON!” And Johnny Kobra steps out of the ring and Rothburn Sallie enter the ring to officiate.

The bell is rung and Randall starts off the match he immediately runs in, attempting a clothesline but is countered with the three rolling German suplexes immediately and Penguino goes for the cover only for Randall to be saved by his brother William.

William runs back to the apron and Penguino gives him a stare which allows Randall to roll up Penguino but to no avail.

Penguino rolls back onto his feet, ducks a drop kick and sweeps Randall’s legs and while Penguino taunts William is tagged in who gets the jump on Penguino. The humanoid penguin is dazed and and Malarkey goes for a Pildriver only to be sandbagged and Penguino twists around Malarkey somehow ending in a suplex position for the three Penguinos.

Randall comes rushing back into the ring only to be caught in a DDT position and William soon recovers but Penguino catches him too and lifts them both up into the air only to shout “Icebreaker” out to the crowd before dropping both brothers, stacking them on top of each other, and proceeding to pin both of their limp bodies for the 1 2 3 and Where My Mouth Is by Taking Back Sunday plays as Penguino leaves the ring.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

After the intros, we turn to Honest Sal at his podium.

Sal: Ladies and gentlemen: "The Relentless" Conor Caine...

Caine makes his way to the podium to a chorus of cheers: he's wearing his wrestling attire, with a "Relentless Aggression" tee on top; over his shoulder, the centre-plate clutches over his heart, is the JWA title. He shakes hands with Sal and they share a few words as the cheers die down.

Sal: Conor, it's a big night for you; a shot at earning even more gold. How are you feeling?
Caine: I'm feeling good, Sal, and together with my brother in arms, Mack Caliber, "Relentless Aggression" are going to upset the tag team division tonight.
Sal: And how do you feel about Duke Mongoose's assertion that you're "greedy for gold?"
Caine: Sal, if I wasted my time worrying about every grievance Duke Mongoose spouts, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. But as you can see: I'm here, in the best shape I've ever been and I'm on top of my game. In fact, if Duke Mongoose kept his damn mouth shout then he - and consequently, the Tag Team Titles - wouldn't be in the crosshairs of "Relentless Aggression." But the man can't help himself. Y'know, it's interesting what he said about being "greedy for the gold" because I think Duke just told on himself with that line: I think it's Duke Mongoose who's greedy for the gold. So I'll posit this stipulation for tonight's main event... Duke, if you and your partner can somehow miraculously retain the tag team titles, you can have a shot at owning all the gold in the JWA. That's right: win the main event tonight, and you got yourself a shot at my title.

The fans cheer.

Sal: That's a hell of a challenge!
Caine: It's what I'm here for Sal. I won this belt from the longest-reigning champion in the JWA, and it's my intention to honour Red Pirate Rogers' reign by doing the same as he, or even better. In order to do that, I need to defend this belt and elevate the singles division like Rogers did before me.
Sal: You'll be keeping an eye on the opening match tonight then?
Caine: You bet I will. It's great to see Rogers back, and I'm excited to see how Tommy End has evolved in his time away.
Sal: Surely the winner of that match with be entitled to a shot at the belt, too?
Caine: No doubt. But those are ultimately decisions for Kip Whistler to make. It's my intention to defeat all comers, and the order doesn't really matter. Kip can book the fights, and I'll end them.
Sal: Ladies and gentlemen, "The Relentless" Conor Caine!

Caine's music hits and he raises the belt in front of the cheering audience before walking off behind the curtain.

[Daisy Turner]

Toni: I am here backstage with the current JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner. So Daisy, as we're speaking right now your friend Sakura Watanabe is going up against Winter Hex for a shot at your JWA Women's Championship, what's going through your head?

Daisy: Well I am a bit disappointed that I'm not allowed to go out there and support my best friend however, if it means Miss Jessie will also stay backstage then I'll gladly take that bullet. And speaking of Miss Jessie I need to get my blood pumping and I feel like we have a lot of unfinished business so that's why I am challenging you to a special type of contest. Something exciting where we can go all out on each other, something that would make Mack Caliber jealous, that's right I am challenging you to a rap battle. Just name a time or place and I'll be there.

Toni: Well that would certainly be exciting for the fans and speaking of Miss Jessie I see her over there.

Daisy: Where is she going

Toni: Isn't that the way to the ring?

Daisy: That indeed is. I'm going to check up on her, I'll see you around Toni.