JWA Glory Episode 145 - Caine vs. Penguino

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

We're coming off the heels of Super Glory where we crowned new JWA World Tag Team Champions, and the action isn't letting up for a second! In tonight's main event, "Relentless" Conor Caine will step up to face the man who single-handedly (flipperedly?) dispatched The Malarkey Brothers, Penguino! This will be a non-title match, but you can rest assured that if Penguino picks up the victory he'll be first in line for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title. Will stepping up for this match here tonight prove to be a mistake for The Relentless One?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

I mentioned that at Super Glory we crowned new tag champions, and that is most certainly the case. Big Waves, that being Pierre The Enormous & Chesterton Shredsbury, have once again captured the gold and will be looking for another record setting reign. Who will step up to face them? Perhaps we'll get an idea here tonight, as former champs "Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose will be in action later tonight against The Malarkey Brothers. His Lordship & The Duke will be looking to get back on the same page after suffering such a massive loss last week.

Outside of tag team pursuits, "Lord" Taylor Thorin and "Relentless" Conor Caine will be doing battle in a Strap Match right here on Glory coming up in a few weeks. Much like tonight's main event, if Thorin can win that match he'll put himself directly into title contention.

Winter Hex cemented her spot as not only the Daisy World Cup Winnner but the #1 Contender to Daisy Turner and the JWA Women's World Championship. They'll face off in the main event next week, but tonight Daisy and her rival Miss Jessie will be facing off in a... rap battle? That's can't be right. Maybe my handwriting has really gone to the dogs. What? That's what's happening? So be it! Daisy Turner vs. Miss Jessie in a rap battle!

Red Pirate Rogers picked up a victory over Tommy End last week, albeit under suspicious circumstances. When even trusted official Panther Haberdashery isn't sure what happened, you know something is up. We saw a different side of Rogers during match. Is it possible that the darkness lurking inside Tommy End has begun to infect the beloved Crimson Corsair?

Has Chief Buffalo been able to get The Professional Wrestler OF DOOM to calm down after all of the cheese-related nonsense from last week? We hope to find out tonight.

Let's get tonight's event started, as we've certainly got a lot going on. Get out there and work your gimmick!

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

OOC: I would like to apologize in advance to the clinginess you're about to witness

???: Welcome everyone to our rap battle between Miss Jessie and the JWA Women's Champion, Daisy Turner. I'm your host branny award winning rap artist: Hardy C

Hardy: Who would like to go first?

Daisy: I say the challenger.

Miss Jessie: So be it. Lets get some music.

Generic beatbox music plays

Miss Jessie:
My client's next opponent is this thing
She looks like she wont be hard to fling
Hell she probably couldn't even swing
and in a couple years time she'll be on Twisted Side of the Ring


You're always cold, and I'm always hot
You're further from cold, you're just plain not
But it seems you have something that we ain't go
So when Winter takes the title you'll just rot

[Daisy Turner]

Hardy: Alright thank you Miss Jessie for that. And now it is time. The last but certainly not least. The one, the only, the JWA Women's Champion! Daisy Turner!

Daisy: Wow I love that introduction

Hardy: I do my best

Jessie: Just get on with it

Daisy: Alright alright

Generic beatbox music plays

Daisy Turner:
Hey Jessie I guess you are making bank

I heard a lot of guys have filled up your tank

from Brad, Steve, Noah and Frank

I guess all that makes you is a sk@#k

But settle down and lets stop talking about lust
Lets talk about someone I disgust
Winter Hex, I compare her to rust
And everything will go downhill, when I hit her with The Daisy Dust!

Hardy: Thank you Daisy. Now it is time for you guys to vote for a winner. Miss Jessie or Da-

Winter Hex and Miss Jessie attack Daisy our of nowhere. Daisy trying to fight back but the 2v1 disadvantage is not in her favor. However Motteke! Sailor Fuku! plays and out comes Sakura Watanabe who evens the playing field. Sakura easily takes down Miss Jessie and Winter Hex attacks Sakura Watanabe. Winter turns around and is met with a roundhouse kick from Daisy who holds her title up high.

LeRay: And Daisy takes out Winter Hex, will this be the same outcome next week?

Beeman: Nonsense, Winter Hex was just going easy on her, she's saving her skill and talent for next week

LeRay: Yep, whatever you say.

[Dark Mauler]

Honest Sal: Folks, I am here tonight with Tommy End, who recently lost his grudge match against Red Pirate Rogers, albeit under some suspicious circumstances.
Tommy End: Not so fast, Sal. We all know what happened out there was not a loss.
Honest Sal: What would you label it, then?
Tommy End: A robbery. I was on my way to a routine win against Red. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I know for a FACT that I kicked out before 3. When Panther Haberdashery, the company’s main referee is confused as to what happened, it’s obvious to see that someone decided to bend the rules to their favor.
Honest Sal: Are you accusing Red Pirate Rogers of cheating?
Tommy End: Maybe I am. Now I know what you’re going to say next, “Red’s never had to cheat before.” I would’ve agreed, up until the end of Super Glory.
Honest Sal: Well, what do you think happened?
Tommy End: I’ve watched the match over, and I’ve come to a conclusion. Ask Red what happened, I’m sure him and his little gremlin Bambino will be more than happy to gloat about what they did.
Honest Sal: You’re clearly not done with Red Pirate Rogers just yet. Anything you’d like to tell him?
Tommy End: Red, you and I both know that you can’t claim that as a win. This isn’t over, at least not if you’re still pretending to be a man of honor.

[Penguino]

Penguino makes his entrance to come out first with Johnny Kobra to the familiar music of “Where My Mouth Is” by Taking Back Sunday.

Leray “Penguino has known about his opponent for less than 24 hours before this match is taking place what will be on his mind and how prepared really is he.

Beeman “He’s never prepared Leray”

[Duke Mongoose]

*NOTE: ALL SEGMENTS INVOLVING DUKE MONGOOSE & "LORD" TAYLOR THORIN TAKE PLACE PRIOR TO THE MAIN EVENT*

(The opening of "Palladio" by Escala plays then segues into the chorus of "Calling Dr. Love" by KISS as Tembleberry and The Earl of Jackson lead "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Duke Mongoose through the curtain and toward the ring. As usual, they are showered with boos)

LeRay: The former tag team champions will be looking to get back to their winning ways here tonight, as they take on their opponents The Malarkey Brothers, who are also looking to get into the win column.

Beeman: When are they NOT trying to get a win? Last I checked the bird-brain took care of both of these guys last week!

LeRay: Be that as it may, is it just me or does it look like Thorin and Mongoose might not be on the same page here this week?

Beeman: According to my sources, Duke didn't want to tag up again, but he was talked into it by The Earl and Tembleberry on Thorin's behalf.

LeRay: But not by Thorin himself?

Beeman: My source couldn't say for sure.

LeRay: Interesting. There's the bell and Mongoose starts things out with Randall Malarkey and immediately drops him with the Running Neckbreaker Drop! Rather than go for a cover, Duke chooses to flex and pose.

Beeman: Big Daddy Duke knows what he's doing.

LeRay: While Duke is distracted, Randall tags in his brother William who hits Duke in the back with a dropkick!

Beeman: Duke's just trying to lull Malarkey into a false sense of security.

LeRay: You sure about that? William sends Duke across the ring with an Irish Whip, but he telegraphs the back body drop attempt and Duke puts on the brakes. OH MY! Jumping Piledriver by Duke Mongoose! He may have broken Malarkey's neck!

Beeman: That was brutal, LeRay!

LeRay: Mongoose again opts not to go for the pinfall, and instead struts over to his corner and tags in Thorin. Tembleberry and The Earl are overjoyed at this turn of events.

Beeman: The former champs are back to their winning ways, LeRay! I can feel it!

*TO BE CONTINUED*

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

"Vonnegut Busy" by Sage Francis hits and Conor Caine makes his way to the ring with the JWA title over his shoulder.

LeRay: It's been almost a year since Conor Caine and Penguino last faced each other in singles action.  That was back in August of last year, in a number one contenders match for then-Champion Red Pirate Rogers' title.
Beeman: And it's a number one contenders match again tonight, for Penguino at least!
LeRay: That's right, Sean. Kip Whsitler suggested earlier that a win for Penguino would put him in contention for the title once again.

Caine completes his celebration with the fans in the ring and hops off the turnbuckle, passes his title belt to Panther Haberdashery and going to his corner to wait for the bell.

LeRay: These two wrestlers have evolved so much in the past months, I'm excited to see what tonight's action has in store!

The bell rings and the two competitors meet in the middle of the ring to lock up...

LeRay: Conor Caine takes Penguino's wing and twists it... but Penguino reverses the pressure, and there's a hip toss followed by a standing armbar on Caine!

Caine uses the height difference to his advantage: down on one knee, he gets his free hand down to the mat and uses it for balance as he swings his legs up and around Penguino's neck.

LeRay: Caine with a head-scissor takedown! Penguino wriggles free and the two are on their feet again for another lockup!
Beeman: Great manoeuvring from Penguino! He gets Caine in a belly-to-belly!

Caine hits the mat and Penguino is quick to follow up with a senton, but Conor rolls out of the way.

LeRay: Caine off the ropes and he hits a sliding clothesline on Penguino as the bird just gets to his feet! And now he's going for the cover!
Beeman: Barely a two-count!
LeRay: You're being unusually impartial in your calling tonight, Sean.
Beeman: I'm warming up to it Mick, don't worry.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Jun 20, 2023 23:08:55 GMT -5 Daisy Turner said:

Daisy Turner:
I heard a lot of guys have filled up your tank

OOC: Savage 

[Penguino]

The two living creatures stare at eachother and Penguino points his flipper at the title at ringside and while Caine is distracted Penguino hits a German suplex and Johnny Kobra lets out a small laugh

Beeman “That’s the Penguino I like.”

Leray “You and you only, anyway that sneak attack seemed to work as Connor is looking a little surprised as well as in slight pain. Now they lock up yet again and Caine has a headlock wrenched in and now he takes down Penguino keeping him grounded while locking in that headlock. Now here comes Penguino though starting to get up and he sends Caine into the ropes who eats a clothesline. Caine retreats to the corner only to get some chops for his trouble and is sent into the other corner to be crushed by Penguino with a stinger splash and Penguino climbs up top. Flying Penguin!! The cover 1.2. No Connor stays alive.”

Beeman “Man now I feel bad for people with closed captions on after that text bubble Mick.”

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

A camera close up catches a wicked grin on Conor's face as he sits up from the pin attempt and wipes his mouth, checking for blood...

LeRay: It looks like Conor Caine is more than happy with the tone set by Penguino for this match up.
Beeman: The thug is about to show his true colours once again.

Still sitting, Caine clotheslines Penguino's legs out from under him and is quick to grab one of his wings.

LeRay: An armlock followed by some punches to the wing by Conor Caine! He keeps hold of that wing as he brings Penguino to a vertical base and... whips him hard into the corner!

Penguino hits the turnbuckles hard but rebounds out of the corner toward Caine, who boots him hard in the chest to send Penguino back into he corner yet again.

LeRay: Right hands from the Champion has Penguino unsteady, and now he whips him to the opposite corner!

Caine rushes behind Penguino as he hurtles toward the opposite corner, however Caine's attempt at a spear on Penguino is avoided as the bird springboards backwards off the middle turnuckle and flips over Conor, who hits the corner post shoulder first.

Beeman: And the Champ eats ringpost! That's going on my highlight reel for the year!
LeRay: Caine stumbles backwards into a small pckage by Penguino! One! Two! Kickout!

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Backstage segment after Tommy's interview

Cameras catch Red Pirate Rogers storming down hallways and looking in assorted rooms. He's definitely agitated and focused on something, as he opens another door he calls out "Vincenzo? Vincenzo?" He comes back to the hallway and storms to another door "Vinny?!! Where the hell are you Vinny?!" He storms back out and finds Vinny coming down another hallway, still in his mustard yellow "bronze bosun" gimmick. "You! What the hell did you do?"

Vinny: "What?"
RPR: "The match against Tommy End"
Vinny: "Don't you mean 'Thomas'?"
RPR: "I swear to god, Vinny, don't question me right now. What did you do?"

There's a pause

Vinny: "What needed to be done."
RPR: "What was that?"
Vinny: ..."You were getting your butt kicked. I saw a way to end the match and stop Tommy, so I did it. You're welcome by the way."
RPR: "Stop Tom--. Are you? Vinny. You know making a match end all screwy like that doesn't end anything! I can't take that win! I'm gonna have to go out there all over again and---"
Vinny: (mocking) "Ooh no, it'd be so hard for a pirate to fight someone, whatever will you do?"
RPR: (Stepping closer to Vinny) "Do we have a problem?"
Vinny: "I do, and it's you."
RPR: (Disbelieving) "Me? I'm the best thing that happened to you. I saved your sister. I helped you master new moves. I welcomed you to my crew. I got you a new gimmick, and I'm your problem?!?"
Vinny: "YES! You used me! I was bait for Buffalo, and a decoy for Tommy! I could have been part of your team, but you never looked back after you took the titles with Caliber and then dumped me again when you won the title! You use me as a stand-in punching bag and when I go out and do the dirty work to get what I want, you tell me I'm out of line!? You're the problem. You're not a pirate, you're just a punk playing pretend!"
RPR: (Nose to nose with Vinny in a dangerous whisper) "You stay out of my matches, and out of my way." 
Vinny: (Backing up, and again mocking) "at your command..." he fake bows and walks off, leaving Red uncharacteristically speechless.

[Penguino]

Leray “Penguino is shocked that that wasn’t enough to finish off the champion but I guess maybe that’s why he is champion.”

Penguino holds his arm and while he checks it Caine gets an advantage and rolls up Penguino for a two count and Penguino on the floor with a leg sweep to Connor Caine.

Leray “Big leg sweep changes the tide of this match again they are really going back and forth here.”

Beeman “I guess I kinda just want to see the actually good wrestlers again.”

Leray “While your complaining Penguino is coming off the ropes and slides on his belly shoving his beak into Connor Caines legs. What innovative offense.”

Beeman “Disqualification I can get out of here right.”

Beeman leaves his seat only to be sat back down by Leray who tells him it wasn’t a DQ and Sean complains.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

As Caine lays on the mat in agony, clutching his leg, Penguino hits a perfect standing moonsault.

LeRay: Penguino goes for the pin again! Only two! The champ is in trouble, Beeman!
Beeman: If all goes well he’ll end up in traction before the night’s out!

Caine is trying to get up, but Penguino is raining down chops. Caine gets to one knee - his bad leg - and blocks a chop, fighting back with some punches. He backs Penguino up a few paces, but when he goes to stand up, his leg gives way and he goes back down.

LeRay: Is he still feeling the effects of that attack, or could the champ be injured?

Caine limps his way to the ropes but Penguino charges him.

LeRay: Caine pulls the rope down at the last second and Penguino dives to the outside. A moment’s reprieve for Conor Caine!

Caine kicks and shakes his leg to try and get some feeling back as Penguino recovers on the outside. He tries to stand on it but winces, and decides instead to limp. He drops to the mat and rolls to the outside where he limps to Penguino by the ringsteps.

LeRay: Caine smashes Penguino beak-first into the steps!

Penguino stumbles back and gets hit with a chop across the chest. And another, and another.

Beeman: Grilled breast fillets on the menu tonight!

With his bad leg, Caine kicks Penguino in the gut and hits a DDT on the floor. Both competitors are down, and Caine is holding his leg again.

[Duke Mongoose]

*CONTINUED FROM ABOVE*

("Lord" Taylor Thorin comes into the ring and takes William Malarkey down with a snap suplex)

LeRay: Tembleberry and The Earl are fanning Duke at ringside while Thorin is handing a beating to William Malarkey.

Beeman: That's the benefit of having corner men, LeRay!

LeRay: Thorin with a devastating forearm smash to the back of Malarkey's head, and now Thorin is egging on William to tag in his brother.

Beeman: M'lord is looking for a fight!

LeRay: William reaches with all his might and tags in Randall who storms in looking for a double axehandle but takes a boot to the midsection from Thorin, followed by a rising knee strike!

Beeman: I think this one's over, LeRay. I mean, it was over the minute the bell rang, but it's ESPECIALLY over now!

LeRay: Thorin could be looking to set Malarkey up for the Cradle Tombstone Piledriver - wait a minute! What's Earl Jackson doing?

Beeman: That's The Earl of Jackson, thank you. And... uhh... I'm not sure?

(The Earl is on the apron motioning for Thorin to bring Randall Malarkey over. Tembleberry looks a bit confused and Duke is oblivious, chatting up a female fan in the front row)

*TO BE CONTINUED*

["Lord" Taylor Thorin]

CONTINUED...

Jackson is shoved off the ring apron by the referee and falls into Duke on the outside!!

BEEMAN: "What's that idiot up to?  At least m'Lord knows what he's doing!"

In the ring, Thorin has slammed Randall down and locked in a knee bar, which he then transitions nicely into a STF!  Randall is too far from the ropes, so it is down to William to dive in to break the hold!  William throws a couple of kicks for good measure at Thorin, which causes Earl Jackson to jump up onto the apron again!  While this happens, Thorin cleans out Randall with a European forearm that sends him flying over the ropes, he turns to where Duke is picking himself up at ringside while the referee is once again grappling almost with Jackson.  Duke gets up on the apron and tags back in.

BEEMAN: "That's it, set that bum up for the finish...wait?"

The referee has got Jackson down off the ring apron again and sees Duke in the ring...he sends him back out!

BEEMAN: "What the hell is that?"

LERAY: "I believe the referee didn't see the tag Sean!"

Duke argues with the referee and Jackson is back up on the ring apron...meanwhile in the ring William has come back in but is knocked down again.  Thorin turns to Randall and lifts him up for a suplex only to trip backwards over William who rolls out of the ring as the referee turns around...1.....2............3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEEMAN: "WHAT?!!!!!!"

The crowd are stunned as the Malarkey Brothers' theme begins to play and Randall rolls out of the ring to hug his brother!  In the ring, Duke looks disgusted as Thorin is enraged.  The referee explains to them both that he couldn't allow the tag.

LERAY: "What have we just witnessed!  The Malarkey Brothers have defeated the former Tag Team champions!"

Duke looks at Thorin then at the Earl of Jackson and Tembleberry before turning and walking out!!!  In the ring, Thorin turns to Jackson who is still arguing with the referee...THORIN NAILS JACKSON FROM BEHIND!!!  Thorin signals to Tembleberry who pauses for a moment before walking out of the ring and grabbing a chair.  Meanwhile Thorin is pounding away at Jackson with stiff fists.

Tembleberry slides a chair into the ring and Thorin puts it over the head of Jackson, climbs to the middle rope before coming down with a hard stomp!  The referee is helpless as Thorin has destroyed the Earl of Jackson here.

Thorin turns and walks out, while Tembleberry pauses for a moment looking down on Jackson, before heading out of the ring himself and following Thorin out.

Medics, other officials and the Malarkey Brothers have now got to the ring and are attending a bloodied Jackson.

LERAY: "Folks we've got to go to commercial while we get this cleaned up."

BEEMAN: "What just happened?!!!!!"