JWA Glory Episode 150 - JWA World Tag Team Championship

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

We've put Fortune & Glory in our rear view, but this train keeps rolling! Tonight's main event is for the JWA World Tag Team Championship as Pierre The Enormous & Chesterton Shredsbury put their titles on the line against the unlikely duo of Duke Mongoose & Penguino. Mongoose earned this match two weeks ago when he defeated Pierre in a singles contest. Duke stated that he was going to select his partner and we were all surprised when the name of Penguino came out of Duke's mouth. While on paper this seems like a team doomed to failure, especially against a team considered to be one of the best of all time, but anything can happen in this wild world of professional wrestling. Pierre and Chesterton will have Troglo in their corner, and Duke & Penguino will have Johnny Kobra. Will those two play a role in the proceedings? All of our questions will soon be answered!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Last week at Fortune & Glory "Relentless" Conor Caine was successful in defending his JWA World Heavyweight Championship against "Lord" Taylor Thorin. Who will be the next challenger for Caine's title? Where will his Lordship set his sights now?

One person who would have to be considered in contention for the title is Tommy End. The Dutch Destroyer defeated Red Pirate Rogers last week in a falls count anywhere match, and with that business settled, I'd have to imagine that End will be looking to once again hold the gold.

One person who is NOT in title contention would be Chief Buffalo. We saw the big Chief get put through a table by newcomer Omega Satyros in a tables match last week. While the Chief may need to change up his strategy, Satyros will need to keep his head on a swivel, as it was revealed recently that our own "Savvy" Sean Beeman is putting together a group to attempt to "expose" Satyros. What will this mean for the rest of JWA? We'll have to wait and see.

In the first ever Bungee Cord Match in JWA history, Winter Hex took advantage of an unfortunately timed sneeze and retained the JWA Women's World Championship over Sakura Watanabe. Daisy Turner has made it clear that she wants to hold a championship once again, so she'll be looking to get another shot at Winter, but Daisy made it clear that she's open to challenging for ANY of the titles in JWA. We hope to hear from our champion, as well as Ms. Turner, during the broadcast.

We learned at Fortune & Glory that Arizona Chance will be returning to JWA on August 15th. Where will "The Franchise" of JWA be directing his attention upon his return from hiatus? We can only speculate for now.

Fans, let's get this show started. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Duke Mongoose]

("Fatal Charm" by Bill Idol plays and the fans begin to boo as Duke Mongoose struts his way to the ring)

LeRay: Here comes one half of the challengers, the man who won this opportunity by putting Pierre The Enormous to sleep, Duke Mongoose.

Beeman: You say that as if it's not impressive, Mick.

LeRay: I'm still baffled as to why Duke chose Penguino as his tag team partner. I know he said it was because he was tired of fighting against Penguino, but there's got to be more to it than that.

Beeman: Why? Like I always say, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

LeRay: I thought you always said "if you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten".

Beeman: I say that too!

LeRay: Oh brother.

(Duke poses in the ring as "Where My Mouth Is" by Taking Back Sunday plays and the fans begin to cheer. Penguino makes his way down to the ring along with Johnny Kobra. Penguino looks a bit apprehensive)

LeRay: Penguino doesn't look like he's 100% sure about this team. He's consulting with Johnny Kobra right now.

Beeman: I can't say I blame him. While I know that Duke's intentions are to win the match here tonight, under any other circumstances this would most definitely be some kind of ambush.

LeRay: Penguino slides under the ropes and poses for the fans, as Duke and Kobra are exchanging... let's just say "pleasantries".

Beeman: I hope the camera doesn't pick that up, or we'll get kicked off the air for sure!

LeRay: We now await the arrival of our champions, Big Waves.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Rapture echoes throughout the studio as Chesterton Troglo and I make our way to the ring*

[Duke Mongoose]

(Duke jumps Chesterton as soon as he steps through the ropes. The referee calls for the bell to start the match)

LeRay: Jay Fairweather starts this match off after Duke jumpstarts things by attacking Shredsbury!

Beeman: It's a brilliant move by Big Daddy Duke! I would expect no less.

LeRay: Penguino and Pierre look confused and disappointed standing on the apron at how this match has begun.

Beeman: That's because they're idiots, Mick.

(Duke lands several double axe handle blasts to the back of Chesterton's neck and shoulders, then sends him across the ring with an Irish whip)

LeRay: Mongoose sends Shredsbury across and sends him flying through the air with a big back body drop!

Beeman: The surfer dude certainly caught some air!

LeRay: Mongoose now with a leg drop across the throat of Chesterton, and he goes for a cover - Shredsbury out immediately at one!

Beeman: Stay on him, Duke!

LeRay: Duke lifts Shredsbury up off the mat, hoist him up, and gives him a big body slam near the corner! Duke tags in Penguino and looks to be giving him instructions.

Beeman: How much do you wanna bet he won't listen?

LeRay: Duke is holding Chesterton open for a double team, but Penguino instead applies a side headlock!

Beeman: I told you he wouldn't listen.

LeRay: Duke looks disgusted as he leaves the ring, with Penguino in control of Shredsbury.

[Penguino]

Penguino has Chesterton in the headlock and strikes first and hard with a flipper chi rift to the head from the headlock position sending Chesterton into the corner

Leray “Chesterton in becoming a bullet sponge taking more chest chops in the corner and his chest is starting to look like hamburger meat.”

Beeman “Boooring, there isn’t enough cheating going on right now.”

Leray “Well it’ll stay like that at least until Mongoose gets tagged back in.”

Beeman “Hey are you saying something negative about the great Duke Mongoose”

Leray “I don’t care enough to answer especially with Chesterton now reversing a chop using his agility and grabbing twisting the Humanoid Penguins arm, hopping to the top rope, walking the ropes, and hitting a massive hurricanrana sending Penguino flying. Now holding his chest because of the chops he is crawling to the corner, he’s right there. And, Oh no. Not this. Duke Mongoose has illegally walked into the ring and stomps on Shredsburys head stopping him from marking the tag.”

Beeman “Genius move by Duke.”

Leray “But it may cost him as while Johnny Kobra is applauding him for the cheating Penguino has recovered and is now arguing with him.”

Beeman “How dare he argue with the greatest thing to happen to the planet.”

Leray “My prediction was correct and now Shredsbury successfully makes the tag to Pierre The Enormous who runs over both members of the opposing team.” 

[Pierre The Enormous]

LeRay: I thought the greatest thing to happen to the planet was Betty White and sliced bread but whatever helps you sleep at night....

Beeman: ......

*I lift both Duke and Penguino over my shoulder and slam them down hard*

[Omega Satyros]

On the jerktron, fans in attendance can see a casual set up. Two chairs facing towards each other, in one chair, Mic LeRay, in the other, Omega Satyros, his injured leg propped up.

LeRay: Omega, first and foremost, I'd like to thank for for the opportunity for this interview. Second, I'd like to apologize for the actions of my co-commentator and his band of buffoons.

Omega: I appreciate the concern, but it's not your apology to give. Let's start this interview.

LeRay: Of course. I believe this interview will mostly just be you expanding on your back story for the audience. Your JWA bio describes you as "Straight from the mythos of Ancient Greece." Is that literal, or …

Omega: It's literal. basically I fell asleep some 2000 years ago now, didn't wake up until about a year ago in a museum in Chicago, don't ask me how I got there, I don't know. Let's just say, before breaking up with a guy, make sure they aren't secretly the god of sleep.

LeRay: Heh, can't say I'm too worried about that. But if you're really a satyr, how do you explain the tights we saw in Beeman's video?

Omega: Well, unlike back in the day, there's different standards for modesty with modern combatants. The full length black fur tights were just the best compromise between that modesty, my desire for authenticity, and comfortability.

LeRay: Fair enough point, how does the mask fit in there?

Omega: Well for that, we need to get to my pro wrestling training. The past year has been quite a lot to adjust to. Didn't really fit in. Let's just say I can relate to Penguino's tale of not fitting in where I was, so found somewhere I could fit in. Someone viewed by much of the world as completely inhuman, trying to find a place where that wouldn't be a hinderance. After bumping around from place to place, I ended up at El Infierno Wrestling School and trained with Diablo. I wear this mask in honor of him.

LeRay: Touching tale. Thanks for taking the time out of your recovery to come in and have this interview.

[Penguino]

Leray “Ooh I felt that slam from down here and the ring is shaking from the impact. Duke Mongoose is rolling out of the ring whilst the legal Penguino starts to get up to his feet.”

Beeman “I am very disappointed in Pierre for doing that to Mongoose and I need to hyperventilate.”

Leray “Whatever eases your mind cause we really need you to ease that disaster. Anyway Penguino is now on his feet and is trembling before the giant who belches in his face and goes for a body slam but Penguino weasels his way out of it, though being shaky in his landing due to the fall of seven feet. Penguino gets down and LEG SWEEP!! The force of the sweep by The Penguin has shaken the tree trunks of the giant, and now a second one sends his legs into even more peril. This is the Penguino we have come to love and here comes the third. The giants knees buckle and he falls to the floor.”

Beeman “Okay I’m done and did the penguin just knock down the beast. Oh hell yeah Duke Mongoose definitely showed Penguino some of those technique’s that he uses oh so genius-ly.”

Leray “Yeah sure Duke taught him the leg sweep not Johnny Kobra or anyone else.”

Beeman “How dare you confuse Duke Mongoose with a scrub like Johnny Kobra.”

Leray “Are we making TLC references now Sean because if so you should stop chasing waterfalls like Penguino.”

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Penguino now double stomps his webbed feet on the amazingly floored giant! I can hardly believe my eyes!

Beeman. You know what they say about giants, LeRay!

LeRay. The bigger they are the harder they fall?

Beeman. No. They can’t beat Penguins.

LeRay. What?

Beeman. Try to keep up, LeRay, I smell a title change tonight. Even Johnny Kobra looks proud here, grateful I’m sure that the Duke has brought out the old Penguino. The Apocalyptic Penguino! The kind of bird fish man who can bring giants to their backs and make them plead “Please! Please Penguino, no more punishment for me, I can’t take it!”

LeRay. And just as sure as you’ve gone off the deep end here, Sean, Penguino comes hard off the ropes for a bird splash onto Pierre… but he literally bounces off the Enormous one’s gut, unleashing a cosmic belch from the big man! And Pierre is well… Pierring up!

[Pierre The Enormous]

Pierre: That tickle.... *I grab Penguino and throw him around like a rag doll belly laughing all the while*

*Troglo is laughing as well*

Troglo: PUNY BIRD MAN!!!!!!!

[Duke Mongoose]

(Pierre casually tags in Chesterton, who rushes at Penguino and shoves him into the corner. Unfortunately, it's the corner where Duke Mongoose is angrily waiting and he tags himself in)

Beeman: What a blunder by Shredsbury! He literally just let Duke get back in the match!

LeRay: Indeed, a rare misstep by The Dude of Wales and now he finds himself on the receiving end of several big right hands from Big Daddy Duke!

(Duke hits the ropes and lays out Shredsbury with the Running Neckbreaker Drop and goes for a cover)

*One...Two...Kickout*

LeRay: It's too early for a pinfall, even though that maneuver is quite devastating. Duke looks to be setting up Shredsbury, perhaps for the Jumping Piledriver - NO! Back body drop by Chesterton! Dropkick! Another dropkick! Duke is staggered!

Beeman: I don't like this, not one bit!

LeRay: Shredsbury springboards off the ropes - Beautiful Distaster kick! Duke is down!

Beeman: Penguino and Johnny Kobra seem to be enjoying this. Don't they realize that Duke is on their team?!?!

LeRay: Chesterton has mounted the top turnbuckle, and he takes a second to look out into the sea of cheering fans here at the JWA Studio.

Beeman: Another blunder!

LeRay: Indeed, you are right, Beeman, as Duke cuts him off! What is Mongoose going for now?

Beeman: I'm not sure, but knowing Big Daddy Duke it's going to be awesome.

(Duke climbs to the second rope and hoists Chesterton onto his shoulders. Duke manages to turn 180 degrees around so that he is facing into the center of the ring. Duke presses Shredsbury over his head and then leaps off the ropes, slamming Chesterton into the center of the ring)

LeRay: OH MY! Second rope press slam by Duke Mongoose!

Beeman: It looked like Shredsbury fell for an eternity!

LeRay: Cover by Duke!

*One...Two......Kickout*

LeRay: Shredsbury just barely managed to get a shoulder up! Incredible!

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

Sal: I am here with the JWA Women's World Champion, Winter Hex. So Winter first off congratulations on retaining the championship however I must ask, was luck on your side? I mean the only reason you won the match was be-

Winter: Because of what? A flu? No no no. She didn't sneeze and fall off, she used it as a cover up, Sakura knows I'm more superior than her, so she gave up right then and there. She only "sneeze" to pretend that she's not afraid of me. When in actual fact I overcame the odds thrown at me and still be your JWA Women's World Champion.

Sal: Well since you've made that clear, I want to ask about your next challenge esp-

Winter: Next challenge? Who?! I've defeated everyone here who else is on the roster?

Sal: Well we know you've defeated her but I think this new Daisy might pose a threat to-

Winter: ARE YOU SERIOUS SAL?! Who hired you really, because you've been asking the dumbest questions today. Daisy is doing what she should've been doing ever since I won this, venturing out to new experiences. Like she wants to go for any champion, hell yeah woman power, but she better play her cards right because she knows the Women's World Championship is the title she won't be getting and if she happens to disagree then I will have no problem shutting her up.

[Daisy Turner]

Toni: I am backstage with Daisy Turner, daisy I must ask you what are you going to do with this gold rush?

Daisy: Well at first I'm thinking going for the Tag Titles, but then I would need a partner, like there is so many people, like Duke Mongoose, we could call ourselves Daisy Dukes, however our attitudes are way different so that wouldn't be the best idea, Omega, he's new he's fresh we both don't like Beeman, but I don't think I want to get myself in that situation, what about Sakura she's one of my best frien- oh wait, she's in Japan right now.

Toni: What about the World Championship?

Daisy: It's not a bad idea, the competition is very tough, great champion, I like it. However, I just heard what Winter Hex said in the ring and I have a few words, I'll admit you have bested me before, but that's not going to happen, and you want to shut me up? *laugh* I'd like to see you try sweetie. So I've come up with an amazing concept. How about a mixed tag match, I will team up with anyone interested to team with me and we'll take on Winter Hex and who she finds, if she can find someone that is.

[Pierre The Enormous]

Troglo: SMASH PUNY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Troglo yelling gets Chesterton to bro up and at the same time it gets Duke distracted*

*Chesterton lights Duke's chest up like a Christmas tree with chops*

LeRay: Those are gonna leave a mark....

Beeman: *looks like he's about to barf*

LeRay: Uh medic....

Troglo: *continues yelling to hype Chesterton up*

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Chesterton is firing shots away and Mongoose is staggering back.

Beeman. But Big Daddy Duke isn’t going down. Shredsbury can’t drop him. He launches a missile of a forearm into the Jumbo’s chest.

LeRay. But Chesterton responds with a step up enzugiri! Shredsbury runs the ropes, but wait! Johnny Kobra tripped him. Shredsbury is down!

Beeman. I saw no trip but the clumsy surfer is floored for sure. And Duke lowers the boom with a double axe handle to the back. And he tags Penguino and slingshots the bird man through the middle ropes, beak first into Chesterton’s face.

LeRay. Penguino don’t look too happy about that, Sean.

Beeman. Nothing newly minted gold can’t cure, Mick!