JWA Glory Episode 152 - Shredsbury vs. Penguino

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

In tonight's main event, former tag team champion Chesterton Shredsbury will look for redemption as he takes on one half of the team that beat him and Pierre The Enormous for the titles, that being Penguino. We're all still coming to grips with the idea that the preposterous team of Duke Mongoose & Penguino are the World Tag Team Champions, but the former champions really seem to be taking it the hardest. Pierre and Troglo haven't been the same since the loss, but tonight could be the first step in Big Waves regaining their confidence. Will the Welsh Waverider secure a victory and perhaps a World Tag Team Championship rematch, or will Penguino ride his own wave of momentum and pick up the win here tonight? We're just moments away from finding out!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Speaking of the tag team champions, it would seem that Duke Mongoose has let the thrill of victory go to his head. In the past week Duke has managed to challenge not only JWA newcomer Omega Satyros to a fight because Satyros talked about Duke & Penguino on the internet, but Duke has also challenged friend of Big Waves Troglo to a match as well! We all know that Duke has a history of using his mouth to write checks that he can't cash in the ring, so the real question is: who's going to shut him up first?

On the subject of Omega Satyros, he should be cleared to return to the ring next week. His return opponent remains a mystery. Will it be Duke Mongoose? Will it be someone hired on behalf of "Savvy" Sean Beeman's Family? Will it be someone completely unexpected? Omega is slated to be providing us with a video update this week regarding his recovery, so perhaps he'll offer some insight into who this opponent might be.

We are scheduled to have the long awaited return of Arizona Chance to JWA here tonight. The man who has done it all in JWA will be coming back after a brief hiatus to travel the world with his family, and I for one will be very interested in finding out what his goals are going to be.

If Arizona Chance plans to get involved in the World Heavyweight Title picture, he's going to have to wait and see who's left standing after the upcoming championship battle between "Relentless" Conor Caine and Tommy End. The match has been announced as the main event of September's Super Glory show, but knowing these two, things are likely to get physical long before then.

With her victory last week in mixed tag team action, Daisy Turner has put herself in position to challenge Winter Hex for the Women's World Championship. However, the reinvented Sakura Watanabe may be looking to be next in line as well. Will we end up seeing friends do battle to determine the next contender? In that same match we saw Red Pirate Rogers on the winning side over former rival Chief Buffalo. Rogers will be glad to have ended his string of bad luck, but how will Buffalo recover? And will he be upset that Miss Jessie and Winter Hex shortchanged him on his pay?

It's sure to be another great night of action. Now, get out there and work your gimmick!

[Chad Shredsbury]

"It Could Have Been Me" blares and Chesterton Shredsbury makes his way out from behind the curtain.

LeRay:  For the first time in a long time we see Chesterton Shredsbury making his way to the ring not only alone, but not surfing through the crowd on his Big Waves board.  He's slowly making his way to the squared circle and there is not a shred of a smile on his face.  Quite a departure for the Welsh Waverider. 

Beeman:  Well, any change is a good change for this guy.  It's about time he started taking things a little bit seriously.  Also, he better watch his back because even he knows Johnny Kobra and Big Daddy Duke are going to go to bat for Penguino here tonight. 

LeRay:  And we have it on good authority that Chesterton has warded off both Pierre and Troglo for this match.  He insists on going it alone. 

Beeman:  Did he?  What a buffoon.  Only a fool thinks he's above a little help from his friends.  Even when those friends are a drunken giant and a... whatever Troglo is. 

LeRay:  Might I remind you he fought his way through much of the J1 alone and was remarkably successful.

Beeman:  Yeah-huh.  And how did that work out for him in the end?

  

[Penguino]

“Where My Mouth Is” by Taking Back Sunday plays to a huge pop from the crowd and Penguino along with Johnny Kobra come out high diving the hands of many crowd members.

Penguino enters the ring and the match begins.

The two are staring each other down and Chesterton reaches in to grab Penguino but the attempt is avoided via Penguino who ducks under and behind into a German suplex

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  That German was perfectly executed, Sean, and that was definitely a statement by the humanoid man bird.  I don't think he appreciated being called out for this match.

Beeman:  He doesn't seem to appreciate having the legend himself, Duke Mongoose, carry him to tag team gold either.  Johnny needs to talk to him about his attitude.

LeRay:  I'm not sure about all that.  But Chesterton looks pretty surprised and he's using the ropes to get himself up very slowly here.

Beeman:  Exactly, why is Penguino not pouncing on him, LeRay?

LeRay:  Penguins don't pounce, Sean.  But look at the daggers Chesterton is staring through Penguino right now.  He looks upset.

Beeman:  Getting dropped on your head will do it every time.  Here comes a tie up. 

LeRay:  Shredsbury goes behind and tries to scoop him, but a lightning fast standing switch by Penguino.

Beeman:  He's a slippery bird.

LeRay:  But Chesterton uses the height advantage, reaching over behind and taking Penguino down with a headlock.  He's putting his weight on him here.

Beeman:  Don't you need to have a neck to be put in a headlock?

LeRay:  Apparently so, as Penguino slides out again, and rolls away and sits up with a big smile on his face!

Beeman:  And Shredsbury wipes it off with a vicious kick to the beak!  Wow!

LeRay:  Wow.

Beeman:  That is hands down the greatest thing I've ever seen the Himbo do. 

LeRay:  Penguino didn't see it coming, and now he covers up with his flippers, but Chesterton is giving no quarter.  He's stomping all over him. 

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  Cheserton coming with the momentum of the ropes now for a shining wizard!  But Penguino snatches his foot right in his beak and clamps down on it.  Chesterton is trying to pull back but Penguino isn't letting go.

Kobra:  Yeah, Penguino!  Take that drumstick as a trohpy, man!

LeRay:  Johnny Kobra is clearly thrilled with this bit of barbarism.

Beeman:  You can't blame him for backing his bird, LeRay.  Shredsbury reaches for the ropes like the coward that he is and the ref has a break here.

LeRay:  Not sure you need a rope break to stop biting, but alright.  Panther Haberdasherie knows best.  

Beeman:  That's debatable.  Oh, and as soon as Penguino breaks the bite, Shredsbury springs off the second rope with a disaster kick that was, well... beautiful.

LeRay:  Penguino staggers back and Chesterton isn't wasting any time, and pops a knee right under the bird's beak.  Step up enzugiri and Penguino goes down.  Haberdasherie hits the mat for a two count, but the match will continue!  

[Thumper Moore III]

Prior to the main event…

The arena goes dark and the opening lines of Hysteria by Muse blare through the loudspeakers. The fans go nuts as a single spotlight silhouettes Arizona Chance, holding aloft his fedora. As the lights come back on, Chance rips his vest off, revealing a set of abs surpassed by only Chesterton. He heads toward the ring where Toni Cruise awaits him.

TONI: Welcome back to JWA, champ!

ARIZONA: Thanks Toni, but it’s just Arizona. I haven’t done anything lately to have the right to be called champ. But I hope to rectify that soon, because as you know, Toni, nobody chases the gold like Arizona Chance! (The crowd joins in on the last line and subsequently cheers.)

TONI: So, it’s obvious you’ve been working on your physique in your absence. What else has been going on?

ARIZONA: Toni, it’s been a lot of things. Bottom line is this— I’ve been resting on my laurels for a while now. I haven’t been in any championship picture for at least six months now, and frankly, I haven’t deserved it and my record showed it. I thought I’d be on some big retirement tour by now, but when I look around and see guys like Lazer still diving off balconies onto their 60’s, I think I’ve got a lot more left in the tank.

So, after discussing things with Veronica, I’ve made some changes. No more whiskey. No more late nights with the boys. And no more talk of how many championships or awards I’ve won. That’s all in the past, and I’m here to talk about the future.

TONI: So what does the future hold for you, Arizona?

ARIZONA: In the long term: title shots and title wins. But as for now, I have to start from the bottom, just like everyone else. But, there is one guy I want to talk directly to right now, and this may come as a surprise to some. Omega Satyros, I don’t know what planet or time you dropped in from, but I like your style. Wherever or whenever you’ve been, you do things the right way. You work your ass off in and out of the ring, you respect those who deserve it, and you give these fans everything you’ve got week after week. I’d be honored to share a ring with you soon, whether as partners or opponents. But, as one colleague recently said, I don’t trust anybody I haven’t bled with. So, whaddya say we go one on one and see what each other is made of?

TONI: That’s former champion Arizona Chance— welcome back! Now, back to ringside for the main event!

[Omega Satyros]

A vignette began playing on the Jerktron between Arizona and the main event, showing Omega sat in front of a museum exhibit, wearing a hoodie, looking into the exhibit, special note taken on a figure of a satyr laid flat behind the glass.

Omega: It's been 14 months since I woke up in here, guess I'm glad to see I'm not missed. Wonder how they reacted when they saw I had left. No one in here realizes just what this means to me, seeing this. It's very weird being back here, really struck with a feeling of being a living relic of a bygone time.

The background transitions to a wrestling gym as Omega lowers his hood and turns to face the camera. His next monologue is interspersed with clips of his training.

Omega: You'd know all about that though, wouldn't you Beeman. The only difference is I was a piece of what was a living, breathing history, while you seem to be unsure of what and where your place will be when people look back. But ultimately, I think your vendetta against me all boils down to an inability to handle looking like a fool. You work in a business that has always had to know how to roll with the punches, yet you seem completely unable to do so.
You originally thought I was some masked fool pretending to be a satyr, some quirk to get me noticed I guess. Of course I proved that incorrect, so you moved the goalpost and said you're disdain for me was because my use of "the flippy crap ... making this sport look like a damn ballet recital." As if I'm the only person in this industry who uses high flying maneuvers. Ironic that I come from the time when those fundamentals of close, man to man wrestling was being developed, while you pretend I'm some unpolished acrobat with no respect for the history of the business. I am the living, breathing history of this business back in person. 
So again, I ask you, can you find a client who's worth going against me, or just your goons who want to pretend they're the contenders? Because with Duke Mongoose looking more and more focused on his tag title business, seems your top prospect has found better opportunities to go for. I'm going to be back at Glory next week ... 

The vignette cuts out and Omega walks down to the ring.

Omega: And you know what Beeman, I'll be kind and give you until Super Glory to find your true star. As for next week, Arizona Chance, I trained for this business in El Infierno, and while I don't have the accolades yet, I guarantee this will be the best match I've had in JWA so far. Because I know neither of us will give an inch that isn't earned in that ring. You and me will go through Tartarus (hell) and back to show everyone who will see it exactly what we're willing to do to win.

Omega turns to leave, looking back.

Oh, and Beeman, I'm going to talk with Kip Whistler to ensure that if you or any of your lackeys get involved in our match next week, you'll have your walking papers before the end of the match.

[Daisy Turner]

The Imperial Carnival plays and Sakura comes out with her gear

LeRay: Beeman, are you hiding under the desk?

Beeman: ... No... I just dropped something

LeRay: Well it sure is taking you time to get back up

Sakura: 話したい人がいます。それで、彼女が同意するなら、今ここで話したいと思います。デイジー。 出てきてください。

Barracuda plays and Daisy Turner makes her way

Daisy: What do you want to talk about?

Sakura: さて、ウィンターヘックスの最初の敵はあなたであることが判明しました。そして、私はあなたが彼女を打ち砕くことができることを知っています。それで、それが起こったとき。 私はただあなたに知って欲しいのです。次は私です

Daisy: You got it. But we're still friends... Right?

Sakura: どんなに仲の良い友達でも、時には喧嘩しなければならないこともあります。

Winter Hex comes from behind and attacks Daisy. She snatches Sakura's Kabuki mask and throws it away, when she turns back she is met with the Asian mist from Sakura. The lights go down.

Beeman: What's happened, did we lose power?

The lights turn back on and Sakura is sitting next to Beeman which scares him.

Sakura: 私が忘れていないとは思わないでください。でも今はあなたに慈悲を与えます。

Sakura exits the arena and Beeman comes out from the desk

Daisy: Well Winter. Only time will tell. And when it does... I'm taking back the JWA Women's World Championship.

[Duke Mongoose]

(Toni Cruise is standing backstage next to Duke Mongoose)

Toni: I'm backstage with half of the World Tag Team Champions, Duke Mongoose. Duke, you're not at ringside for Penguino's match. What's the story?

Duke: Toni Spumoni! My boy doesn't need me in his corner to beat that Dud from Wales!

Toni: I feel like it goes without saying, but Penguino is NOT your boy. You act like he's your son or something.

Duke: HOW DARE YOU! You're no better than that disrespectful horned goat man!

Toni: Speaking of Omega Satyros, it appears that next week he'll be facing the returning Arizona Chance. Meanwhile, he's made insinuations that you're somehow linked to Sean Beeman and his Family. Is there any truth to that?

Duke: Just like Penguino and I, Beeman and I are birds of a feather. However, Big Daddy Duke isn't interested in being part of Beeman's group at this time.

Toni: But you might be open to it in the future? Is that what you're saying?

Duke: Don't put words in my mouth! Jeez, you're getting as bad as Sally Boy!

Toni: Getting back on track, you laid out a challenge to Troglo-

Duke: That big smelly Neanderthal deserves a good whoopin' for all of his involvement with Pierre and Chesterton! If I can just get my hands on him...

Toni: Well I have word from Mr. Whistler that the match has been signed for Glory in two weeks: Duke Mongoose vs. Troglo

Duke: WHAT?!?! Whistler signed the match? Is he some kind of lunatic? There's a reason Troglo is retired!

Toni: He'll be back in the ring to face you, it seems.

Duke: Big Daddy Duke is going to have to pay Whistler a visit! Call your grandmother, Toni! This interview is over!

(Duke storms out of the shot)

Toni: Mick, Sean - back to you!

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Chesterton picks Penguino off the mat and delivers a stiff forearm across the tuxedo’s one’s chest. But Penguino fires back with a flipper chop that the Dude of Wales did not see coming! Another forearm. Another flipper! They are back and forth. This is getting ugly.

Beeman. You mean this is getting awesome! This is what wrestling is supposed to be LeRay. Savage!

Kobra. Light him up, Guino!!!

Beeman. See? Johnny gets it.

LeRay. Chesterton takes another chop and backs up off the ropes and charges with a dropkick but Penguino ice slides underneath and pops back up. Beakbutt to the head of Shredsbury! He covers up as if he’s blind!

Beeman. Sissy.

LeRay. Three Penguinos! A cover. One-two, kick out by Chesterton!

[Penguino]

LeRay “Penguino looks shocked that Chesterton was able to kick out of that.”

Beeman “I am too but not as surprised as most other times. I don’t really know why but Shredsbury is being especially vicious today.”

LeRay “Penguino can be vicious too as shown here now by this barrage of grounded forearms.”

Beeman “Yes dude the Welshman is going to die now.”

LeRay “That’s not a good thing Beeman. Finally Penguino gets off of him and now Penguino is coming off the ropes while Shredsbury gets to his feet and Penguino with a penguin slide throwing his beak straight into Chesterton.”

Beeman “That was nasty”

LeRay “Indeed but the surfer rises again only to a leg sweep.”

Beeman “Smart Penguin smart.”

LeRay “correct you can’t do much of anything once the legs are removed. Penguino is in the corner and seems to be setting Chesterton up for something.”

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Penguino has set Chesterton up in the tree of woe. And he comes waddling across the ring with a big web footed stomp the Shredsbury’s face. The Dude of Wales is in a bad way here to be certain, Sean.

Beeman. He asked for it. Clearly the Duke has been schooling Penguino on the ways of the warrior. I’ll be Penguin Kai’s enrollment will skyrocket after tonight.

LeRay. Johnny Kobra has a chair in his hands and he’s gesturing for Penguino to climb to the far corner. What is he doing? This isn’t a no DQ match!

Beeman. Oh, but if only it was! We could see an Ice Termonator! Maybe we will see it anyway. Forget the win, Penguino! Smash that chair in his face!

LeRay. I’m not sure the Penguin can leap clear across the ring to even accomplish such a move.

Beeman. He’s a bird, LeRay!

LeRay. A flightless bird!

Beeman. Seriously? I mean, what good is it to be a bird and not be able to fly?

[Penguino]

LeRay “The humanoid Penguin goes up to the top rope and is signaling for the hang ten imagine the humiliation if he nails this.”

Beeman “C’mon ‘Guino.”

LeRay “He jumps up Chesterton ducks down unhooks his legs goes backwards out of it, a stunned Penguino is now turning around into a cutter. That was smooth as butter from the Welshman.”

Beeman “No No No. Duke needs to keep those titles.”

LeRay “Penguino isn’t moving and now Shredsbury is taunting and giving Penguino time to recover.”

Beeman “Ooh I like this style of Chesterton.”

LeRay “Penguino is getting up now and sneaking up on the surfer who is still boasting to the crowd. Penguino grabs waist control and hits the three rolling German suplexes. Wait he’s not done and now he reaches between his legs and a teardrop suplex. And up again dragon suplex and now again for a straight jacket into the cover. 1 2 No Chesterton buys himself more time in this match

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

After Kip’s intro to the show we cut backstage, where Toni Cruz knocks the door to Conor Caine’s dressing room. Caine opens the door and the fans in the studio cheer.

TONI: Conor, it’s just a few weeks until Super Glory, when you’ll be defending your JWA title against Tommy End. The Dutch Destroyer responded to you…

CAINE: I heard what he said Toni. Righting past wrongs is a powerful motivator, and I don’t doubt that the fire inside Tommy End burns brighter than ever, but he’s not facing the ghost of Arizona Chance at Super Glory - he’s facing me: “The Relentless” Conor Caine. And, unlike Tommy, I’m not distracted by what’s in my rearview: my sights are set squarely on The Dutch Destroyer and my focus is dedicated to ensuring that - for now - his first title reign remains his only title reign.

Caine walks back into the dressing room and, as the door closes, we get a glimpse into the room: on a TV monitor in the back, Caine has been studying footage of Tommy’s last match against Red Pirate Rogers.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  Chesterton is now climbing the top rope.  He comes off but Penguino ducks under and rolls him up for a two count.  Shredsbury rolls out and kips up and delivers a wheel kick to Penguino, spinning the bird man around.  And Chesterton delivers a German suplex of his own for one-two-kickout!

Beeman:  That was incredibly close!

LeRay:  It certainly was, Sean.  And Chesterton not missing a beat he's circling as Penguino slowly rises.  Measuring him for something.  

Beeman:  Johnny Kobra is on the apron, and he's still holding the chair.  

LeRay:  What is Johnny thinking here?  He's got Chesterton's attention.

Beeman:  Say that five times fast.

LeRay:  No thanks.  Panther Haberdashery is making his way over there now as Johnny and Chesterton are jawing at each other.

Beeman:  This could be Penguino's chance.  Do it for the Duke, Penguino!

LeRay:  Shredsbury rears back and delivers a devastating superkick to Johnny Kobra and he is sent flying off the apron into the barricade!

Beeman:  And his chair flew the other direction, right into the hands of Penguino. 

LeRay:  Shredsbury springs off the ropes and dropkicks the chair right into Pengunio's beak!  The humanoid penguin looks to be out cold!

Beeman:  Haberdashery is still looking at Johnny Kobra.  He has no idea what happened.  Shreds is calling him over. 

LeRay:  And Haberdashery turns as Chesterton leaps outside, springs off the top rope and Shreds the Gnarr.  There was no reason for that, Sean.  Penguino was already out cold!

Beeman:  One-two-three!  Chalk up a win for the Himbo.

LeRay:  I'm not sure i love the finish of this match but I guess Chesterton Shredsbury proved whatever he had to himself here tonight.  No hang loose signs, no attention to the crowd.  He still looks stone faced.  Let's hope he can get back to being the Chesterton we all love going forward. 

Beeman:  Speak for yourself.  I kind of liked that ending.