JWA Guts & Gory 2023 - Main Thread & Costume Contest

[Kip Whistler]

JWA Presents...
GUTS & GORY 2023

(We get sweeping shots of the arena as holographic ghosts and ghouls soar over the crowd who are on their feet cheering and waving their homemade signs. Several of the fans in attendance are dressed as their favorite JWA stars, and someone is dressed as "Savvy" Sean Beeman as well. The camera settles on Mick LeRay and the aforementioned Sean Beeman at the commentary position. Mick is dressed as a "Dracula" style vampire and Beeman is dressed like Mr. Tycoon)

Mick LeRay: Hello, wrestling fans! I am... Dracoola. I bid you... welcome... to JWA Guts & Gory! We're coming to you live and direct on pay per view! I'm joined, as always, by "Savvy" Sean Beeman. What a card we've got in store tonight!

Sean Beeman: Who's Sean Beeman? Oh! You mean the guy I paid off so I could take his spot on commentary?

LeRay: Uhh, sure?

Beeman: *whispers* Play along

(Mick LeRay rolls his eyes so big the fans in row ZZ can see it clearly)

Beeman: Everybody's got a price for Mr. Tycoon! Mwahahahaha!

LeRay: I'm surprised you didn't try to buy me off as well.

Beeman: I did! I got you a lovely bottle of wine but you wouldn't take it!

LeRay: I never drink... wine.

Beeman: Wait. I see what you did there.

LeRay: Let's send it over to the control center where our own Toni Cruise has the rundown for tonight's event, or should I say a different Cruise? It looks like Dangerzone is occupying the control center tonight instead!

(Cut to Toni Cruise who is dressed as Dangerzone, the wrestler loosely based on the Tom Cruise film Top Gun)

Toni: I feel the need... the need... for JWA action! Here's tonight's card!

(The video wall changes to a graphic showing Artemis vs. Sakura Watanabe)

Toni: We've got a first ever Nightmare on Elm Street Fight pitting JWA newcomer "The Huntress" Artemis against perennial championship contender Sakura Watanabe. What are the rules of this match? It will be under standard street fight rules, meaning anything goes but the fall must occur in the ring. Artemis will be looking to make a big splash in her pay per view debut, but she may be overconfident heading into tonight's bout. Sakura is a tough test for anyone, especially when underestimated. Artemis is also putting up the AOE Hardcore Championship, which just means Sakura has even more motivation to fight. This could be the sleeper match of the night, no pun intended.

(The video wall changes to a graphic showing Penguino vs. Chad Shredsbury)

Toni: Next we've got the first ever Penguin Kai Karate Fight, as Penguino will look for revenge against Chad Shredsbury. It wasn't too long ago that everyone was "hanging ten" and "shredding the gnar" with "Chesterton", but the repeated failure of Big Waves to recapture the tag team championship led Shredsbury to a personality shift. What we didn't know, but Penguino and Johnny Kobra uncovered, is that "Chesterton" was a ruse all along! He's not Welsh, he's just a surf bum from California! And I don't care how many abs he has, his attitude is ugly as sin. I can't believe I was ever interested in that guy. BUT I DIGRESS. What are the rules of a Penguin Kai Karate Fight? I'm actually not sure, but something we can all be sure of is that Penguino will clearly have the advantage here tonight. 

(The video wall changes to a graphic showing Winter Hex vs. Miss Jessie)

Toni: We've also got a big Falls Count Anywhere grudge match between former Women's World Champion Winter Hex and her former associate Miss Jessie. These two had a massive falling out following Winter's championship loss to Daisy Turner, and of all the people she could turn to for help, Miss Jessie found herself once again aligned with Chief Buffalo. The big chief and Miss Jessie had their own falling out earlier this year, but it seems they have found common ground in a common enemy. Winter Hex has proven herself to be a dangerous opponent, capable of paralyzing her foes with that Powdered Snow out of nowhere. Has Chief Buffalo gotten Jessie ready to take down such a formidable foe?

(The video wall changes to a graphic showing Arizona Chance vs. "Relentless" Conor Caine)

Toni: Then it's our main event - one fall with a sixty minute time limit - for the JWA World Heavyweight Championship. About a month ago our champion Conor Caine declared publicly that he wanted to defend the championship against a man he idolized when he was a fan and when he was starting out in this business, that man being Arizona Chance. The man dubbed "The Franchise" has done everything in JWA, including winning the World Championship on two prior occasions. These two both had to fight to earn their way into tonight's main event, and they've been exchanging both verbal and physical insults in the weeks leading up to tonight. No one will question whether or not Conor Caine is a worthy champion, but has he perhaps taken on a challenger that is too great for him? Conversely, Arizona Chance has accomplished so much in this sport, will he allow himself to be too confident and make a crucial mistake? Will "The Relentless Era" continue, or will we see the first ever three-time JWA World Heavyweight Champion?

(The video wall changes to a graphic showing several JWA stars poorly photoshopped into costumes together)

Toni: But kicking us off will be the Halloween Costume Contest, hosted by our own JWA Women's World Champion, Daisy Turner. I think I've got a pretty good shot, but Mick and Sean are looking pretty good as well. Guys, I'll send it back to you!

(The camera comes back to Mick and Sean at the commentary position)

Beeman: If she thinks she's going to win the contest, she's got another thing coming. I've spoken to Daisy Turner and let's just say... EVERYBODY'S GOT A PRICE! Mwahahaha!

LeRay: Knowing you, you'd offer her more money than the prize to win.

Beeman: Mwahahaha... oh wait. I need to talk to Daisy!

LeRay: Before you run off, who do you pick to win the Nightmare on Elm Street Fight?

Beeman: I'm going with "The Huntress". Artemis is still relatively unknown, but if she's associated with Winter Hex then she's good in my book.

LeRay: I guess that means you're picking Winter to win the Falls Count Anywhere match against Miss Jessie?

Beeman: Like you have to ask.

LeRay: Alright, how about the Penguin Kai Karate Fight?

Beeman: Isn't it just like Penguino to make up his own rules in order to beat someone?

LeRay: It sounds like something you would have done.

Beeman: Exactly! That's why I don't like it!

LeRay: Alright, lastly, who do you have walking out of here the World Heavyweight Champion?

Beeman: Panther Haberdashery.

LeRay: The Senior Official is not a competitor in the match, Beeman.

Beeman: There's no way they can both lose, is there? Can I root for a draw?

LeRay: I should have known. Fans, we're about to get things underway with the Costume Contest, but I just want to give a quick reminder that Kip Whistler has let me know that he will be announcing the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament Blocks during the show, so make sure you don't miss that.

Beeman: Where's Daisy? There's a small matter of MY MONEY to discuss! Mwahahaha!

LeRay: Oh brother.

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

[Pierre The Enormous]

Jax is making a rare appearance in person and he's dressed from head to toe as a mad scientist

Beeman: What's this bozo doing here shouldn't he be at Killie's.....

LeRay: Man you're such a killjoy

Jax: I present to you my latest creation behold... TROGLO-STEIN

*Troglo is dressed in a well sewn amalgamation of his gimmicks Huggy is on his shoulder dressed as a bat*

LeRay: Aww Huggy looks even more adorable than usual

Beeman: Party City is shaking...

Jax: I HEARD THAT BEEMAN

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy: Welcome one and welcome all to the Guts & Gory Halloween costume contest! I am your host the JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner or should I say the best princess in the Mario universe and I will fight anyone who disagrees, Princess Daisy!

Daisy: Now we have a long lineup of costume which I cannot wait to show you all but let's start of with the trio you've already seen. Introducing first. He loves money and everyone has a price for Mr. Tycoon it's Sean Beeman!

Sean Beeman walks out a Mr. Tycoon. He walks in and tries to sneakily give Daisy his money

Daisy: *quietly but you can still hear it on the mic* no no I don't want your money. I told you this right before I went out... Up ne-

Camera crew gives Daisy a note

Daisy: Oh it seems like Mick LeRay is going through a quick costume change so why don't we bring out the next one. She feels the need for speed. It's Dangerzone please give it up for Toni Cruise!

Toni Cruise walks out while the Camera Crew is talking to Daisy

Daisy: Oh was it that quick? Well anyways give it up for Mick LeRay who has had a costume change... What is this?

Mick LeRay walks out wearing a dress and a long black ponytail wig. He turns around to reveal balloons placed on his butt

Daisy: OOOH! It's Kim Kardashian! Please give it up for Kim everyone. I'm going to say, it's going to be hard to best all of you 3. And now it's time for our next participant...

OOC: For the other participants feel free to use Daisy as your announcer if you wan to come up with any taglines or anything just don't use her to show anything that'll make her side with you like bribing or etc.

[Duke Mongoose]

(Honest Sal is dressed like Waluigi from the Super Mario Bros.)

Sal: I'm here covering the costume contest, and so far we've got a mad scientist, Troglo-stein, an adorable bat, as well as "Kim Kardashian", Mr. Tycoon, and Dangerzone. Someone's coming in now, let's see who it is!

(Duke Mongoose pushes his way into the area with the other contestants. He is wearing a giant penguin outfit, but the penguin is decked out in a yellow "Forever Champs" t-shirt, hat with giant feather, colorful feathered boas, sunglasses, and a replica of the JWA World Tag Team Championship belt)

Sal: Well, Duke, this is certainly an interesting look. What, or who, are you, exactly?

Duke: Sally boy, isn't it obvious? I should be asking you. Who the hell are you?

Sal: I'm a moderately famous video game character.

Duke: Video games are for children!

Sal: Be that as it may, you haven't explained your costume.

Duke: Like I said, isn't it obvious? Well, for the more dimwitted of our audience I'll explain it. I'm Penguino dressed AS Big Daddy Duke! Isn't it brilliant?

Sal: Well, it's certainly creative.

Duke: I originally thought that Penguino and I could dress as each other for the contest. You know, the old switcheroo. But he's too occupied with trying to beat the ever-living snot out of that Chud Bumberry guy. So I thought the idea of my boy dressing up like me was too good to pass up, so I combined the idea into one outfit!

Sal: You've got some pretty stiff competition already here tonight. Kind of like the competition you'll be facing in the J-1 Pinnacle starting next week, as well as when you defend your tag team titles against Bradley and Seph after the J-1 concludes.

Duke: Thanks for reminding me, Sally boy. You're a real chum. Big Daddy Duke is going to plow through the J-1! I'm going to run the table and take that trophy! It doesn't matter who I'm up against! And then I'm going to make that good for nothing greaseball Seph Kobane pay for planting that relic of a cell phone on me! I was almost positive I hadn't packed a gimmick in my trunks for that match, and Bradley confirmed it!

Sal: How did you know about that? I thought that happened in a private conversation at Killie's?

Duke: Big Daddy Duke has his sources, Sally boy. Eyes and ears everywhere. You know, it's kinda hot in these penguins. I don't know how Penguino does it.

Sal: Does what?

Duke: Wrestle in a penguin.

Sal: Well, he IS a penguin. It's different.

Duke: Different how? Explain!

Sal: Maybe some other time, Duke. More contestants are arriving!

(Sal rushes off as Duke fidgets with his Penguino as Duke Mongoose costume, wiping a copious amount of sweat from his brow while doing so)

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy: And up next is our favourite warrior from Japan. Please give a warm welcome to, Sakura Watanabe who is here dressed up assss. "The Huntress" Artemis!

Sakura Watanabe walks out impersonating Artemis and intentionally trips over on everything

Daisy: oh my! She so clumsy... Yes she paid me to say those lines. I'm not siding with her, but she did want me to say that. And next up is *sigh* Joel. Here he has said. "he's dressing up as the Disnee man of my dreams." OK this is really going to test you come on out!

Joel walks out as Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty

Daisy: Eh wrong! My Disnee man of my dreams is Li Shang. Get it right! And now for our next participant...

[Omega Satyros]

Omega and Diablo arrive for the costume contest/party.
Diablo sporting the ring attire of a once-ally Seraph, and Omega fully decked out, painted red to mimic a devil.

Daisy: Omega, Diablo, wonderful to see you both

Diablo: The feelings are mutual, Toni.

Diablo heads off into the party.

Daisy: So, Omega, tell us a bit more about your costume.

The camera zooms in, giving a better view of the details, revealing a demon tail, a pitch black mask, matching his coarse fur tights, with his horns painted blood red and his upper body and face painted a brighter red.

Omega: Well, I looked to some of the general traditions to Halloween, and took some inspiration from Diablo, and this is the result.

Daisy: Impressive work, and your thoughts about the J-1 Pinnacle Blocks being announced today?

Omega: I'm ready to find out who I have to beat to reach the finals, because regardless of who wins that main event tonight, I'm planning on winning the J-1, and coming for that belt.

[Artemis]

Artemis: Heh, Sakura. It's fitting you'd see what you're lacking and try to mimic greatness. Shame you haven't gotten a hold of your clumsiness after sneezing yourself out of a win in that bungee match for the title.

Daisy: And our next contestant is Artemis...

The spotlights hit Artemis, who's wearing a wine-red dress, heels, and bracelets. Her hair dyed a dark green and braided in a manner to mimic snakes, and her skin painted a lighter green.

Daisy: ...as Medusa!

Artemis: Thanks for the introduction, Daisy, shame you went for the least involved of the Mario Princess lineup. But fair enough, given the other option for you would be Peach, and I can admit that even Daisy is generally more interesting that Peach. And you don't have quite the right dimensions to really pull off either of the better Mario women, of course being Pauline and Rosalina.

[Dyno]

As Artemis finishes her bit, perhaps just in time to prevent another cat fight, "Halls of Valhalla" hits before switching to "Rule Britannia" and the fans erupt as Dyno walks out for the first time in a while, dressed as his cousin Denny, in full Dobermans regalia.  He even has a Doberman Dog Plush Toy under his arm and is wearing a dreadlocks wig, complete with red white & blue beads.  A replica TV Title from Denny's victory over Mercenary in Wembley Stadium adorns his waist.

Dyno takes in the cheers from the crowd before doing a couple of "strong man" poses.  He then gives them the thumbs up and taking his place in line for the costume contest oblivious to Sean Beeman who is complaining to Honest Sal.

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy: Ladies and Gentlemen we have a last minute addition to the Halloween Costume Contest. Please give a hand and welcome back DYNO!! Dressed as his cousin Denny

Joel: Woah woah woah. Last minute additions. This shouldn't even be allowed. If you wanted to compete in the contest you had to write you r name down and I know for a fact that his name wasn't there since I checked right before you took it down. This is completely unfair *to Dyno* and you need to get out of here

Daisy: Woah there settle down. You clearly must be deaf because I said either write your name down or just come ask me and I'll put it down. While yes he did sign up after the sheet was taken down that doesn't mean names couldn't have been added. We met up and he asked if he wanted a grand return and I put his name down. See.

Daisy shows Joel and the others the Sign-up sheet which does in fact includes Dyno's name at the bottom

Daisy: So as far as I'm concerned Dyno is an official member of this Costume Contest.

Joel: Bu- Wh-

Daisy: What are you scared your going to lose... Are you chicken?

Everyone in the ring laughs at Joel even the heels.

["Lord" Taylor Thorin]

(Fit this in later in the show after the costume contest has finished)

"Overture from the Marriage of Figaro by Mozart" hits and the fans begin boing in earnest as uniformed officers of the EITC walk out and head to the ring.

In the middle is a defiant looking "Lord" Taylor Thorin, but much like the JWA.com exclusive earlier in the day, he looks a bit dishevelled.  He is carrying with him a parchment of some kind.

Tembleberry, Nic Blunt, The Punter and Vegas Viggins are not with them.

The officers surround the ring as Thorin walks up the steps and through the ropes where he asks for a microphone.  After being passed one, he pauses momentarily to ignore the boos as the music fades out...

THORIN: "Oh just shut up will you?"

More booos.

"I should've expected no better in this crap-hole town.  Anyway..."

Louder boos.

"...The Pirate Rogers, I am talking directly to you, not these imbeciles in the cheap seats.  A couple of weeks ago, you and your group of ne'er-do-wells took advantage of some downright embarrassing officiating, thus escaping the punishment you were in line for.

This displeased people.  Powerful people."

Thorin pauses briefly again, a look of fear is it, crosses his face, before he quickly recovers and continues...

"I have in my hand a proclamation, a guarantee if you like.  This scroll here exonerates the holder of all prior transgressions.  That black spot you've been carrying Rogers, should you claim this scroll, will be gone.

I am therefore challenging you to another match Rogers.  You, me, one on one, in a Ship's Mast match...where the rules are simple, beat your opponent to a pulp, then climb the mast to claim the scroll.

Win, and you're free.  Lose, and well we know what the black spot means!"

Thorin drops the mic and leaves the scroll in the ring, before being escorted back out of the arena by the uniformed officers.

[Kip Whistler]

(Kip Whistlers enters the Costume Contest area, dressed as usual as television's Frasier Crane. He walks over to the video wall)

Kip: Greetings, grapple fans! I'm glad to see so many people turned out for Ms. Turner's costume contest. Glad to see Dyno getting into the spirit as well! But now's the moment a lot of fans have been waiting for, and that's the reveal of the J-1 Pinnace Tournament blocks, with the action set to begin on Glory next week. Here, now, are the blocks:

(Graphics for each block show on the video wall as Kip reads the names)

Block A:
Arizona Chance
Bad Luck Bradley
Duke Mongoose
Omega Satyros
Red Pirate Rogers
"Lord" Taylor Thorin

Block B:
"Relentless" Conor Caine
Chad Shredsbury
Chief Buffalo
Penguino
Pierre The Enormous
Tommy End

Kip: There you have it! While Arizona Chance will look to repeat as winner, he'll be facing tough competition once again this year. Both Pierre The Enormous and Tommy End have competed in every J-1 Pinnacle Tournament, but neither man has won. Will this be their year? Will Chad Shredsbury make another run to the finals? Could Omega Satyros pull a Mack Caliber and win the tournament on his first try in his rookie year? Those are the big issues, but there's plenty of interpersonal issues to be settled amongst the block members as well! I have a feeling this is going to be the biggest and best J-1 Pinnacle Tournament in history! Stay tuned as the match schedule will be released within the next few days. And with that, I'll let you all get back to this amazing costume contest!

[Omega Satyros]

The party's been going on for a little while, everyone not in a match partaking in booze provided by Jax and Killie's, Omega a bit moreso than some others.

Toni: Omega, what are your thoughts on the block announcements for the J-1?

Omega: (clearly loosened up from how he had been basically since losing to Caine) All that means is I know the 5 men I'm going to defeat on my path to the finals. I've already shown I can beat Arizona, Rogers and Thorin are too focused on their own feud going into this, ditto for Duke and Bradley. So Block B needs to keep an eye out for only one guy, and that's Undeniable.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

We see the captain's quarters of Red Pirate Rogers' ship, we hear voices off camera

Kenny Wynn: Why are we doing this again?
Peter Dombrowski: The captain likes books.
Chase Victory: We know that! But why this one?
Peter Dombrowski: Goes with our gimmick doesn't it?
Rogers: C'mon lads, let's hit the road to enter the contest!

[Rogers enters, dressed as a red crayola crayon in the spirit of The Crayons Trick or Treat . The crowd watching on the Jerk-a-Tron laugh, then Peter Dombrowski enters looking mopey in a gray crayon get up, and Kenny and Chase looking...very similar]

Rogers: I thought Chase was going to be red-orange and Kenny would be orange-red?
Chase: I lost in mumbly peg...
Rogers: Goes to show you...C'mon Vinny, we're waiting!

[Vinny comes out, looking miserable in a flesh tone costume mercifully covered a bit by the Crayon box...this gets the biggest laugh...]

Vinny: How come I couldn't be Magenta?
Rogers: It's too close to my own, besides...you get the best line
Vinny: [sighs] I'm....naked....

[Biggest laugh of the skit, including the guys in it]
Vinny: Forget it! I'm staying home
Rogers: Oh, Vinny...wait... [He follows him]...c'mon you lot, all for one and one for...[they look blank]
Peter: Chocolate?
Rogers: Close enough...let's go!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*As the blocks get revealed I get a sadistic grin on my face*

This is gonna be fun.....

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy: Well I'm pretty sure everyone else either forgot or just no showed the even so I believe this is everyone. And shall I say. What a lineup we have here. From Tag Team Champion, to future Women's Champion I'm talking about you both. Future World Champions and many more respectable personnel and Joel. Everyone give it up for these amazing people who worked so hard on their costume

The audience gives everyone in the ring a round of applause

Daisy: Just a reminder to all the fans who wish to vote for their pick of the winner. Just simply go to Chirpy and Chirp #JWACostumeContest followed by your volunteered participant to win and a little while after I'll collect the votes.