Guts & Gory 2023 - JWA World Heavyweight Championship Match

[Kip Whistler]

JWA World Heavyweight Championship Match - One Fall, 60 Minute Time Limit:
"Relentless" Conor Caine (c) vs. Arizona Chance

[Thumper Moore III]

The arena goes dark, and light orchestral music plays in the background. Words materialize and dematerialize on the screen in succession: Adventurer. Explorer. Inaugural Champion. The Franchise. After a few seconds of a blank screen, the orchestral music is ends, and THE MASTERMIND is displayed.

The opening bass riff of Hysteria by Muse begins to play, and as the guitar joins, a single spotlight silhouettes Arizona Chance. As the full band kicks in, the arena lights come back on and Chance heads toward the ring, wearing a serious expression.

LERAY: It’s main event time, as Arizona Chance tries to become a three-time JWA champion. Sean, it seems Arizona believes he has orchestrated this whole scenario, calling himself the Mastermind in his intro.

BEEMAN: Compared to Conor Caine, for sure. I’ve stepped on ants with more brainpower than him, but Chance is no brilliant manipulator. Oh no, he’s making them sing again.

The camera cuts to the ring, where Arizona is indeed leading the singalong.

I WANT IT NOW, I WANT IT NOOOOOW
GIVE ME YOUR HEART AND YOUR GOLD
I’M NOT BREAKING DOWN. I’M BREAKING OOOOOOUT
LAST CHANCE TO GAIN CONTROOOOOL

BEEMAN: Can we just get the champ out here?

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

As Chance waits in the ring, the Jerkatron lights up and all eyes fall on Conor Caine, framed up close on the screen, as he stares intently at his own reflection. The camera slowly pulls out and we see Conor is in his locker room, starting at himself in the mirror. Kizuato is next to him, holding the JWA Title; Kiz talks to Conor, psyching him up, Caine breathing deeper with every inhale.

Kizuato: He said he’s not sure he can kick out of Raising Caine - you make sure he can’t kick out of it. This might be your greatest challenge, but no matter what happens between the bells, this is your night.

Caine is puffing like a bull ready to charge. He steps away from the mirror and turns to Kizuato; Kiz hands him the belt and Conor slings it over his shoulder before making his way out the door. The camera follows Caine and Kizuato through the corridors of JWA Studio until they reach the Gorilla position where Kiz sits down, the studio lights cut out and the Jerkatron goes off.

When the music hits, the lights come up and Conor Caine walks on stage to cheers from the audience. He stands in front of the curtain for a moment, looking around at the fans before beating the centre-plate of the belt that hangs over his chest and raising the title into the air. The fans erupt in cheers, Caine slings the belt back over his shoulder and makes his way to the ring.

Rod C: Making his way to the ring, from Providence, Rhode Island... weighing in at 265lbs... the JWA World Heavyweight Champion, “The Relentless” Conorrrrrrr CAAAAAAINE!

LeRay: Conor Caine’s eyes are locked on Arizona Chance as he climbs the ringsteps, and The Franchise is staring right back. The air is electric here tonight, there’s something historic in the air. Can you feel it, Sean??
Beeman: I can feel that burrito I had for lunch turning over in my stomach from listening to you!
LeRay: Look at this… Conor Caine forgoes his usual turnbuckle routine and instead faces off against Arizona: eye-to-eye with his hero, the man who wants nothing more than to walk out of here tonight as the JWA’s first three time champion.

Caine and Chance are a foot apart, no words are spoken. Then Conor removes his belt, passes it to Panther Haberdashery without so much as looking at it, and holds a hand out to Chance…

[Thumper Moore III]

…who shakes it and pulls Conor in.

LERAY: Chance isn’t letting go— he remembers both times Conor Caine wouldn’t let go of a handshake, and his eyes are boring a hole through the champion, but Caine isn’t backing down in the least. And there’s the bell!

In a surreal scene, the two men stand locked in a handshake, talking to each other for a good 30 seconds, while the fans scream dueling hockey chants. A-RI-ZO-NA/CON-OR CAINE! A-RI-ZO-NA/CON-OR CAINE! Finally, Arizona clearly mouths to Conor, “You ready?” Conor nods, and the men release their handshake at the same time, and start circling.

BEEMAN: Thank God, I thought they were gonna kiss.

LERAY: Would you stop?! Caine and Chance circle and finally lock up. The champion easily pushes the challenger into a corner, and he gives a clean break as they reset.

BEEMAN: Oh, it’s gonna be one of THOSE matches.

LERAY: Listen, Sean, these two men have a great deal of respect for one another, and I don’t expect you to understand that sometimes, it’s not entirely about winning and title belts. The two lock up again, and Caine whips Arizona into the ropes. Chance ducks a clothesline attempt— Lost Ark Lariat on the rebound!

BEEMAN: But Caine is up immediately! He doesn’t look fazed at all!

LERAY: He charges at Chance— SPEAR! Caine picks up Chance, whips him into the ropes— what impact! A huge Spinebuster from Conor leaves Chance laid out as a smile cracks the lips of the champ!

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

BEEMAN: Why’s he just standing there grinning? Go for the cover!
LERAY: The Champ knows his opponent: a pin attempt this early won’t make it to two with Arizona, and it won’t phase him either. There’s no edge for Conor to pin Chance right now.
BEEMAN: He could take the opportunity to, I dunno, lay a few kicks in there?! He’s just standing the corner, waiting for his opponent to get back up!
LERAY: It’s called “Sportsmanship” Sean, something I don’t expect you to understand.

With Chance back to his feet, Conor comes out of the corner and the two circle each other again, each man occasionally reaching out a hand to hazard a lockup but not committing. Eventually, when Chance reaches out, Caine lunges at him.

LERAY: Caine goes for a surprise takedown, but Chance drops to a knee to block it! Despite the age gap between these two, Arizona Chance’s reflexes are as sharp as ever!
BEEMAN: But he’s still outmatched in the strength department! He can only hold Caine off so long in this position before the Champ forces him to the mat!
LERAY: Chance transitions to headlock takedown! Such a repertoire this man has: Arizona is firmly in control of Conor Caine! 

Caine’s on his back and Chance is lying on the mat with the headlock cinched in. Neither man is struggling: Chance is waiting Conor out, and Conor is considering his next move. Caine reaches up for one of Chance’s hands and kicks his legs in such a way that he spins himself from laying on his back to being on his front, however by holding Chance’s hand, he’s transitioned Arizona into a rear hammerlock on the mat.

LERAY: A smooth transition by Caine, and now he’s taken Arizona’s back!
BEEMAN: Choke him out!
LERAY: No time, Chance has rotated himself out of the hammerlock and he’s already back on his feet! Arizona off the ropes and a dropkick to Caine on the mat!

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: Chance has Caine down, and he quickly grabs ahold of the champ’s left leg— he lays several kicks into the hamstring in an attempt to tighten it up, and then drops an elbow onto the knee of the champ.

BEEMAN: Smart move to take the bigger, stronger guy off his vertical base. You can’t fight effectively on one leg.

LERAY: Chance maintains ankle control as he rises— Caine mule kicks Chance and the challenger is forced to back off. Quick as a cat, Caine is back up to his feet. He shakes his leg as the two lock up again. The Relentless One again backs The Franchise, or should I say The Mastermind, into the corner, and again, there’s a clean break. Caine does seem to be favoring that leg as they circle.

BEEMAN: Those kicks weren’t that bad, Mick. I bet Caine is baiting Chance into going for a single leg.

LERAY: Indeed, Chance shoots for the leg, and Caine defends and has Chance in a front face lock. Caine hoists up Arizona— he holds him in the vertical suplex, all the blood rushing to Chance’s head— and they come crashing down. Chance holds his back as he struggles to his feet. Caine up quickly, hoists the challenger up again— Chance with a knee to Caine’s head, it disorients the champ for a moment, allowing Chance to sneak behind Caine— chop block to the back of Caine’s left knee and he goes down in a heap!

BEEMAN: Maybe Arizona is on to something here. The champ looks hurt.

LERAY: Indeed, referee Panther Haberdashery checks on Caine, who waves him off while Chance waits patiently in the opposite corner. Caine uses the ropes to get back to his feet, but he’s clearly limping now, Sean.

BEEMAN: He’s the proverbial one legged man in a butt-kicking contest now. He needs to catch Chance at an opportune moment to turn this one around.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LERAY: Caine initiates another lock-up. A wise move, restricting Arizona and limiting his opportunities to go for that leg again.

The two men begin to chain wrestle: Chance gets Conor in a rear hammerlock, which Conor manages to slip and goes behind for a snap German.

LERAY: Arizona is quick to get up, favouring that back a little, but he wastes no time in shooting for that leg again. But again, Caine is quick to defend, catching Arizona around the waist... Gutwrench powerbomb!
BEEMAN: If Arizona came off the worse of that exchange, it wasn't by much!
LERAY: Conor Caine did appear to take some of the impact of that powerbomb on his hurt leg, however the champion is up while Arizona tries to catch his breath; the air in his lungs brutally snatched away by that powerbomb!

Arizona won't stay down for long, but as he gets to his feet, Conor positions himself behind and hits a single-legged backstabber on the challenger.

LERAY: Another bruising attack focused on Arizona's back!
BEEMAN: It's eye-for-an-eye! Well... back-for-a-knee!
LERAY: It's looking that way! Could it be that Conor is taking his trainer's advice and making sure that Arizona can't kick out of the Raising Caine?
BEEMAN: You think he's softening Chance up for his finisher?
LERAY: It's a sound strategy, consider how Arizona has told us how badly Conor's short-arm Raising Caine impacted him last week! If you're Conor Caine, you're going to want to make sure the effect of your finisher is maximised by wearing Arizona out with similar impacts!
BEEMAN: The powerbomb no doubt winded Arizona, and that backstabber can also be called a lungblower - designed to knock the air out of an opponent. If you tax your opponents air supply enough and then hit him with something as powerful as a Raising Caine, you're going to knock him unconscious!
LERAY: If that's the case, Sean, Arizona is going to want to keep his wits about him! A Raising Caine out of nowhere is going to end his hopes of becoming champion again!

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: Chance struggling to his feet— he walks right into a Google from Caine— choke slam! Caine rolls over Chance— it’s a Camel Clutch!

BEEMAN: Great strategy here. Caine isn’t a submission specialist, but this puts stress on the exact place Raising Caine will target.

LERAY: Chance frees an arm and rolls under Caine— he grabs an ankle and trips the champion as he rolls through— hangs on and he puts Caine in an Ankle Lock!

BEEMAN: Hell of a counter.

LERAY. And now Chance steps on the knee and transitions to an STF! Shades of Conor’s former partner, Mack Caliber!

BEEMAN: Bad move giving up his vertical base against a stronger opponent.

LERAY: Indeed, Caine is able to quickly get to the ropes. Arizona releases immediately.

BEEMAN: Screw sportsmanship, this is for all the marbles! A four count is legal here!

LERAY: Chance holds his back as Caine nurses his knee. The two men stare at each other, and Arizona beckons Caine to come hit him in the chest! Conor smiles wickedly, and lays a huge chop into the chest of Chance. Arizona returns an evil grin, and chops the Relentless One with all his might! Conor returns with a clubbing forearm, and Chance tumbles through the ropes!

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LERAY: Conor is quick to try and capitalise! He’s on Arizona as Chance gets to his feet on the apron… Caine’s trying to belly-to-belly Chance back into the ring!
BEEMAN: Chance is fighting him off with everything he’s got: elbow shot after elbow shot to the head! Conor’s trying to perform the move regardless but… no! Caine has to release the hold!
LERAY: And now Chance is making sure to keep up the momentum! He grabs Caine behind the head and hits a stunner against the top rope! Caine goes bouncing into the ring!

Caine is flat on the mat, clutching his throat. Chance, clutching his back, makes his way to the corner post nearest Conor.

LERAY: Chance climbs the turnbuckles from the outside! He signals for the Legion Of Boom Drop!
BEEMAN: No, wait!

Caine, sensing the danger, staggers to his knees and throws himself against the turnbuckles. He only hits the bottom two but it’s enough to knock Arizona down, crotching himself on the top turnbuckle.

BEEMAN: That’ll slow your momentum in a hurry!
LERAY: And now Conor Caine is dragging himself to his feet and… climbing through the ropes? Where is he going?

Conor uses the ropes for support as he makes his way across the apron and up the turnbuckles next to Arizona.

LERAY: Oh my God… Conor’s positioning Chance for a super back suplex, but he’s not aiming into the ring!

Arizona tries to hold on to the top turnbuckle for all he’s worth but it’s no good: Conor rips him away from the top rope and the two go falling, Conor aiming Chance back first onto the apron.

LERAY: OH MY WORD! SEAN DID YOU HEAR THAT IMPACT?! CONOR CAINE HAS BROKEN ARIZONA CHANCE IN HALF OFF THE APRON!
BEEMAN: But look what it cost him, Mick! Conor landed feet-first on the outside and the shock of the impact as wrecked his leg! Both men are down!

Caine is rolling on the floor, clutching his leg, as Chance slowly slides off the apron and crumples to the floor outside. Meanwhile the fans chant “HOL-EE S**T! HOL-EE S**T!”

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: Panther Haberdashery starts his count as both men struggle to reach their feet! Five… six… Caine begins to stir and he rolls into the ring. Chance is up at eight, and he rolls in and back down to the floor.

BEEMAN: That’ll give him another ten seconds. He really is a mastermind, at least compared to the oaf in the ring.

LERAY: Chance crawls along the floor… what is he doing? He sneaks to Caine’s feet, and the champ can’t see him as the apron blocks his view. Chance stands up and quickly grabs an ankle— he drags Caine to the corner— OH NO! Figure four around the ring post! Shades of Mercenary! Caine screams in pain as Haberdashery counts to four, and Chance releases the hold before being disqualified, but he keeps ahold of a leg and drags Caine outside.

BEEMAN: Finally, they’re both doing whatever it takes to win!

LERAY: Caine is rolled onto the timekeeper’s table— what is Chance thinking? He’s grabbed a chair from ringside! Surely he knows he’ll be disqualified if he strikes Caine with it! But wait, he’s— he can’t be! He’s placed Caine’s knee inside the chair! And what’s this? He has duct tape! He’s taping Caine’s leg to the table! Caine tries to stop Arizona but gets nailed in the head for his trouble!

BEEMAN: I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I like where this is going!

LERAY: Caine is struggling to get free and Arizona jumps back into the ring to break the count— he’s going to the top rope! Arizona makes the sign of the cross and takes flight to the outside!

BEEMAN: No way!

LERAY: Caine wrenches his leg free milliseconds before Arizona’s Legion of Boom drop crashes through the table, missing his intended target! Now Chance is writhing in pain amid the wreckage— and Caine is still suffering from the ring post figure four. Haberdashery restarts his count…

[Thumper Moore III]

OOC: Double post so Caine can do his thing in a minute…

LERAY: Caine drags himself toward the ring on one leg as Chance starts to stir again. The count is at seven, now eight… Chance springs to his feet and makes a mad dive into the ring at 9, and Caine vaults up to the apron on one leg and rolls in.

BEEMAN: Even if Caine manages to win this, he may have to relinquish the title. He can’t even stand up.

LERAY: Caine pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and Chance staggers back to a vertical base. Caine signals for Raising Cane as he limps across the ring, and Chance is out on his feet. He grabs Chance, whips him— no, he holds on for the short arm version of Raising Cane we saw last week— he pulls Chance in— Reversal—LAST CRUSADE! LAST CRUSADE! Chance covers Caine! New champ! New champ! One, two— NO! 2.99! CAINE KICKED OUT OF THE LAST CRUSADE! Conor Caine has just become the second person ever to kick out of the Last Crusade!

Fans start chanting HO-LEE S***. HO-LEE S***.

BEEMAN: Chance just hit him with his best shot and Caine is still in it.

LERAY: Chance is in utter shock. He slides into a corner, sitting down, leaning against the ropes, and stares disbelievingly at Caine. This is why he’s called Relentless. This is why he’s possibly the toughest man in our sport. The buzz is electric— can Arizona possibly defeat Caine— the self-proclaimed Mastermind is searching his vast database of moves for something that might work…

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

BEEMAN: Conor Caine's looking around but I don't think he knows where he is!
LERAY: Realization is slowly coming to him and he's beginning to look like a guy who knows he's in a fight.
BEEMAN: He might not know what just hit him, but he knows he's been hit and he's ready to hit back.

Caine is fighting to get to one foot as Chance drags himself to his feet using the middle ropes. We can almost see the gears turning as Chance approaches Conor, working out his next move.

LERAY: Chance goes to lift Caine up but the Champion starts swinging. He's fighting his way up from the floor with haymakers. He misses on and Chance makes him pay with a knee to gut! A forearm across the back but Caine refuses to go down! A double axehandle, but nothing!

With a roar, Caine forces himself up on his good leg and tackles Chance, lifting him up in a high bearhug!

BEEMAN: It ain't pretty, but when all you have left is strength it just has to be effective!
LERAY: Grit! That's what Conor said this fight would come down to! Who has more fight when there's nothing left but fumes, and my word are these two running on funes right now! They've given it their all and they're fighting on!

Caine lumbers towards a corner with Chance locked in that hold. Chance is raining blows down on Caine's head and shoulders but it's doing nothing. Caine's leg is slowling him down however and before he loses balance, he launches Chance towards the corner.

LERAY: What a throw! Chance smashes into the turnbuckles and rebounds out! Overhead belly to belly by the Champion! Chance rolls back to his feet but his legs are jelly! He backs into the ropes and comes back towards Caine!

Caine is waiting to hit Chance with his finisher but the veteran's instincts kick in and, almost by reflex he ducks Caine's attempt.

LERAY: Chance stops and turns, he goes for a kick to the midsection but Caine catches his foot! He grabs Chance by the forearm: short-arm Raising Caine!
BEEMAN: It's over!
LERAY: If that sound wasn't the canvas splintering, it was Arizona's ribs!
BEEMAN: Conor Caine with the cover! Caine retains!
LERAY: I don't believe it! Chance kicked out! A hair's breadth from a three count and The Franchise kicked out! No-one has kicked out of Caine's finisher before!!!

Caine is face down on the mat, looking in shock. Chance is on his side, coughing and spluttering. Not a fan is on their seat. The studio is silent for a heartbeat that feels like an eternity before the audience erupts in cheers.

BEEMAN: I have no idea how Arizona Chance did that!
LERAY: Grit, Sean! That's what you're seeing right here! GRIT! And both men have it in spades!
BEEMAN: I can't deny that, much as I want to, but I don't think Arizona Chance could come back from another one of those!
LERAY: Frankly, I don't know how either man can keep going, or who's gonna come out on top, but I haven't seen a battle like this in a long time and I have no idea what's gonna happen next!

[Thumper Moore III]

LERAY: The two warriors drag themselves to their feet in opposite corners. The fans are giving a standing ovation to both men. The challenger and champion stumble toward each other and stop inches from each other— and shake hands!

BEEMAN: I’m gonna barf.

LERAY: Caine just said “Let’s finish this,” and Arizona replied, “Let’s do it.” And they’re trading hockey punches! It really does boil down to grit! Caine gains the upper hand and whips Arizona into the ropes— Lost Ark Lariat! Chance seems to have renewed energy! Chance to the top rope— Legion of Boom Drop! He quickly picks up Caine— Modified Michinoku Driver! Chance is in severe pain as he climbs the second turnbuckle— Caine to his feet— Sedona Sunrise! He just planted Caine right on his head!

BEEMAN: Chance is throwing the kitchen sink at him. This is his last opportunity to win.

LERAY: Arizona locks in a figure four! Caine is in agony! Chance is screaming at him to tap, but Caine won’t do it! He turns it over, and Chance is forced to release the hold. But Arizona is right back up— Spinning Toe Hold! Shades of recently departed Buck Bronco! Chance points heavenward as he applies the hold, spinning over and over— CAINE TAPS! NEW CHAMPION! ARIZONA CHANCE HAS BECOME A THREE TIME CHAMPION! Chance immediately drops the hold and he’s gone to check on Caine.

BEEMAN: Caine has to think of his future. It was the right move.

LERAY: Chance immediately calls for medical staff to come to ringside to check on Caine’s knee. As he’s rolled out of the ring, a stretcher is brought out, but Caine refuses it— he’s too proud to be wheeled out. Chance rolls out— he hasn’t even had his hand raised yet— and talks with Caine for a moment— Caine nods— and Conor throws an arm over Arizona’s shoulders as he assists the now former champion up the ramp.

BEEMAN: I don’t know what to say here. The respect these two have for each other has made me appreciate what they’ve done. A little bit.

LERAY: Panther Haberdashery runs up the ramp with the world title— the two warriors pause at the top of the ramp and turn to acknowledge the crowd, as Chance’s free hand is raised. What a way to head into J-1 season! For Sean Beeman and all the JWA crew, thanks for joining us!