J-1 Pinnacle - Block B - Round One - Pierre vs. Chad

[Kip Whistler]

Round One in Block B:
Pierre The Enormous (0) vs. Chad Shredsbury (0)

[Pierre The Enormous]

*I lumber my way to the ring with a determined look on my face*

[Chad Shredsbury]

“It could have been me” by the struts hits and Chad Shredsbury struts out to the ring stopping to pose and flip his flowing blonde locks quite often.

LeRay. Well, what a sound it is the hear the JWA faithful boo and raz this once beloved athlete.

Beeman. The JWA faithful couldn’t be more wrong. Shredsbury was a total poser and now he Carrie’s himself like a boba fide star. While I don’t envy him for having to fight an angry giant tonight, I do envy him.

LeRay. As long as you’re looking at the big picture here, partner. Well Chad has finally made it to the ring and referee Jack LeBiggun is ready to call for the bell. And Shredsbury quickly charges Pierre and run right into and extended forearm that sends the surfer to the mat in an instant.

[Pierre The Enormous]

Time to show you what happens when you piss off a giant....

*I put Chad in a Romero Special*

LeRay: HOLY COWS ALIVE?!?

Beeman: I can't believe I'm saying this but color me amazed

Little trick I taught myself....

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Shredsbury is wailing and flailing away in a tremendous amouunt of pain.

Beeman. I can’t even fathom how Pierre is applying this hold! And how Chad isn’t just ripping limb from limb.

LeRay. I think he may be, beneath all those layers of muscle. But he does manage to slip to the ropes and Jack LeBiggun calls for the break of the hold. The enormous one obliges, of course. And steps back while Chad uses the ropes to lift himself up from the canvas and then quickly springs into a beautiful disaster kick off the second rope and that looks like the first bit of offense we have seen from the beach bum.

Beeman. Easy, LeRay. Don’t count Chad out just yet. He nearly one thinks thing last year.

LeRay. He hadn’t made an enemy of an angry giant last year, Sean!

Beeman. Be that as it may, Shredsbury is following up with a solid knee to Pierre’s, well… nipple line apparently.

LeRay. And Pierre swats his former friend away like a bug and Chad is once again on the mat.

[Pierre The Enormous]

That tickled....

As Chad is on the mat I think of my next line of offense.... *I go for a butterfly suplex but Chad tries to scooch away*

Running away will only make it worse....

*I step on Chad's back repeatedly like he's a welcome mat*

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. And Chad is certainly getting his just desserts here tonight as Big Pierre is walking all over him.

Beeman. That’s ridiculous. Shredsbury never has dessert. Pierre’s other friend Troglo, in the other hand-

LeRay. And Shredsbury rolls under the ropes to the arena floor, trying to escape the giant’s wrath!

Beeman. A great wrestler is always thinking in the ring.

LeRay. Didn’t you spend the entire last year calling this guy a Himbo?

Beeman. I may have misjudged him then. But I’ve never had a clearer vision of what an incredible athlete he is.

LeRay. Well, Pierre has a pretty clear view too as he leans on the top rope and watches his former friend lick his wounds. The official begins the 10 count.

Beeman. And like a cat, Shredsbury hood up and pull the ropes down, and the big Frenchman barrels over the top and down to the concrete floor below! Oh, the bigger they are the harder they fall indeed, LeRay!!

LeRay. Yes it would seem that Pierre put entirely too much weight in that rope and Chad used it against him. Now it’s Shredsbury back in the ring and LeBiggun starts the count over for Pierre!!

[Pierre The Enormous]

OOC: Gonna be adulting so this is probably gonna be my last addition until the end

*As I'm on the floor Chad is taunting me as if saying go on hit me*

*I will my self up and make the count at 8*

*I unleash a sumo stomp on the poser and it sends him to the mat*

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Chad is once more writhing in much deserved pain—

Beeman. So judgmental. Who are you to say what he deserves?

LeRay. I’m a man with two eyeballs that watched that liar beat up a fifteen year old.

Beeman. Ok. That was kind of a low. But Pierre still shaking off cobwebs from his spill is movin even slower than usual. Shredsbury springs out of the corner with a high cross body that ends with Pierre’s massive Ham hock punching him in the chest.

LeRay. That chest cavity might have collapsed right there.

Beeman. Yeah that honestly hurt just looking at it. It sounded like the thud of a tree stump falling from the top slid a tree to the solid earth below. If that were possible.

LeRay. It sounded like a bowling ball being dropped off a roof onto a volley ball court. And now Pierre moseys over to the ropes and holds on again while he goes right ahead and applies what doesn’t appear to be all that much force… until you realize that his foot is completely eclipsing Chad’s face, which from the little side view we are getting, appears to be flattening like a pancake.

Beeman. Ref, can we get a count on this?

LeRay. But why, Sean? I haven’t seen a smile so big on Pierre’s face in months!

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Pierre backs off now and he picks up Chad and throws him hard into the turnbuckle. Shredsbury bounces off like a tennis ball ans flopping back to Pierre who throws a heavy forearm that crashes Chad back into the buckle. And he is just draped there like a sack of potatoes hung up in the turnbuckle.

Beeman. This isn’t even right. It’s not fair!

LeRay. Well, the official doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. And Pierre turns around and prepares, as we have seen before, to push all his weight back into the surfer and really crush the energy out of him. But Pierre slips!!! What just happened?

Beeman. The big doof slipped and cracked his noggin on the turnbuckle! He’s out cold and falls flat on his back! And Chad slowly rolls under the ropes to the apron. The wobbly giant is down and Everybody’s Favorite Surfer is picking himself up into the perfect position!

LeRay. Is that an open bottle of board wax on the floor in the corner?

Beeman. I’m sure it isn’t.

LeRay. Did Shredsbury squirt that on the canvas to make Pierre slip and crack his skull?!

Beeman. Chad springs up and it’s been a while but here it is! Springboard 360 stomp to the woozy oaf! Shred the Gnar!!!!

LeRay. He was already unconscious because of an illegal foreign object!

Beeman. You say tomato. I say one-two-three! Chad Shredsbury kicks off just like Chesterton did last year! With a huge night one victory in the J1, baby!!!