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Post by Kip Whistler on Nov 14, 2023 18:16:06 GMT -5
Round Two in Block A:
Arizona Chance (1) vs. Duke Mongoose (0)
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 14, 2023 19:14:22 GMT -5
("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol begins to play, rousing jeers from the fans in attendance. When the song picks up, Duke makes his way through the curtain and toward the ring. Duke is wearing a bright pink version of Arizona Chance's signature fedora, and has a lime green and yellow bull whip adorning the waist of his trunks)
LeRay: Get a load of this buffoon! What the heck is he wearing?
Beeman: Big Daddy Duke may have a bizarre sense of fashion, but I think he's trying to send a message to his opponent tonight.
LeRay: And that message would be?
Beeman: Don't look at me! I have no idea!
(Duke climbs into the ring and stands on the second rope facing out into the crowd. He pulls the whip from his belt and cracks it, but he manages to split his own lip in the process. The fans roar with laughter as Duke climbs down to the mat holding his face)
LeRay: Serves him right.
Beeman: I thought you were supposed to be the impartial broadcast journalist! What's with the attitude?
LeRay: All bets are off when it comes to Duke Mongoose!
Beeman: I hope Duke's as fired up as you are, LeRay, because here comes the chump *ah-heh* I mean, CHAMP.
LeRay: Yes, I believe that's the familiar theme of World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance, and these fans are electric!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Nov 15, 2023 7:14:42 GMT -5
Hysteria by Muse begins to play as the arena lights go black. As the guitar kicks in, a single spotlight silhouettes Arizona, as he holds aloft a bad of some kind. As the arena lights come back on, Arizona heads to the ring quickly, carrying the hat looks like an old gear bag with him.
LERAY: Duke is refusing to leave the ring for Arizona’s audience singalong. Arizona is carrying a gear bag to the ring— he points at it and a look of horror comes over Duke! He seems to recognize— is this the infamous bag from the Phoenix Dumpjob?
BEEMAN: That’s the dumbest name for an incident I’ve ever heard.
LERAY: Duke is brandishing the whip at Chance… Chance charges across the ring and hucks the bag toward Big Daddy Duke, who runs from the ring like a scalded dog! And the bag contained only lime green and pink confetti to match Duke’s outfit! Duke is apoplectic on the outside of the ring as Arizona leads the singalong!
CROWD: I want it now, I want it nooooow…
LERAY: There’s the bell! The music cuts out— but referee Francis X McCorry is confused— he hasn’t called for the match to begin.
BEEMAN: Duke has the timekeeper’s hammer in his hand. He rang the bell himself. Thank you, Mongoose! I’m so sick of these cretins singing themselves hoarse whenever Chance comes to the ring. He just saved them all a visit to their ear, nose, and throat doctor.
LERAY: A malicious smile crawls across Duke’s face as he rolls back in. Both of these men have ruined each other’s fun, and now this very personal battle in the second round of the 2023 J-1 can begin!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 15, 2023 12:38:23 GMT -5
(Duke and Chance tie up in the center of the ring)
LeRay: Stiff lockup between these two as they jockey for position. Arizona backs Duke into the corner and we get a clean break.
Beeman: A missed opportunity by the champ.
LeRay: The two men circle and tie up once again in the center of the ring. You can feel the tension between these two! This time Duke back Arizona into the corner - WHOA! Big chop across the chest by Mongoose! And another! Now Duke mounts the second rope and is raining down punches to the forehead of Chance!
Beeman: See! That's how you do it!
LeRay: Now Duke is BITING Arizona!
Beeman: Okay, maybe that's a bit too much.
(Duke breaks before being disqualified. Duke steps aside to argue with the official about the count, leaving his back exposed to Arizona)
LeRay: I'm not sure what Duke expects to gain from arguing with the referee, but Arizona is getting some vital recovery time. OH MY! Bulldog out of the corner by Chance takes Mongoose down!
Beeman: It's all that damned Frank McCorry's fault! The man can't finish a complete sentence in a reasonable amount of time!
LeRay: Duke is fighting back to his feet, but he's stunned - LOST ARK LARIAT by Chance!
Beeman: No! No! No!
LeRay: Cover by the champion, but Duke just barely manages to get a shoulder up before the three count!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Nov 15, 2023 13:44:41 GMT -5
LERAY: Chance to the top rope— Legion of Boom Drop! He picks up Duke and drags him to the corner— Crystal Skull Crusher! Eight, nine, ten corner skull bashes! Duke flails around and takes a wild swing at the air, nowhere near the world champ. Arizona hoists up the Flamboyant One— Modified Michinoku Driver! Chance heads to the second rope, he’s beckoning Duke to rise— Sedona Sunrise! One, two, 2.99!
BEEMAN: Welp, only one thing left for Chance to do to try to win ish off Duke. C’mon Duke! On your feet!
LERAY: Chance rolls to the outside. He’s rummaging under the ring— he’s got a gym bag— OH NO! That may be the real bag!
BEEMAN: Doing anything other than going straight for the win is going to cost Chance.
LERAY: The bag is thrown into the ring. Chance picks up Duke’s head and opens the bag— Duke with a groin shot to Chance while McCorry was struggling with the bag! Duke is terrified by whatever he saw in the bag! He knocks Arizona to the mat with a double axe handle and begins stomping the Franchise.
BEEMAN: Like I said, Chance is getting exactly what he deserves right now.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 15, 2023 14:09:32 GMT -5
LeRay: The referee has sequestered the gym bag in one of the corners of the ring, and while he's doing that Duke sends Arizona across the ring and sends him flying with a back body drop! Duke hits the ropes and as Chance is getting to his feet he gets taken down again with the Running Neckbreaker Drop!
Beeman: I told you, anything Chance does aside from going for the win is going to cost him!
LeRay: Duke goes for a cover, but Chance is out at two!
Beeman: Stay on him, Duke!
LeRay: Mongoose drags Chance up to his feet and lands a series of Mongolian Chops! With Chance reeling, Duke sets him up and drives him into the mat with the Jumping Piledriver!
Beeman: It's all over but the crying, LeRay.
*One...Two...Kickout*
LeRay: Mongoose pulls Arizona toward the corner and now Duke is climbing to the second rope.
Beeman: The most dangerous rope.
LeRay: Hold on - Duke just noticed the gym bag underneath him. He looks petrified with fear!
Beeman: I haven't seen anyone that scared since Pierre had to fight Reptile Ranger back in the day!
LeRay: Arizona manages to recover and takes Duke off the ropes with a power bomb!
*One...Two......Kickout*
Beeman: That was too close for comfort!
LeRay: Duke looks a bit stunned as Arizona is setting him up for something, but Duke with a go-behind - Ionian Nerve Grip!
Beeman: Now you've got him, Duke! Turn that nerve grip MAGNA!
LeRay: Indeed, Duke uses his free hand to grip his own wrist, turning the Ionian Nerve Grip Magna! Can the champion withstand this torture, or will he capitulate?
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Nov 15, 2023 15:54:49 GMT -5
LERAY: Arizona is severe discomfort as he struggles to avoid passing out.
BEEMAN: Just like I said—
LERAY: But a high kick overhead lands and Duke breaks the hold! Amazing flexibility by Chance. Arizona shakes life back into his arm and stands back up, and a dropkick to the knee drops Duke. Arizona quickly on Mongoose with a spinning toe hold, the move that won him his latest world title! Will Duke be able to hold out?
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 15, 2023 19:07:21 GMT -5
LeRay: Chance is really wrenching that Spinning Toe Hold; I can't imagine Duke can take much more of this!
Beeman: Don't give up, Duke! I've got a lot riding on this - I mean, YOU'VE got a lot riding on this!
LeRay: Oh please! It looks like Duke is about to tap - NO! Arizona leans forward a bit too much and Duke catches him in a small package!
*One...Two......Kickout*
Beeman: That was three and everyone knows it!
LeRay: Arizona just barely escapes, and now he swings a Lost Ark Lariat at Duke, but Mongoose ducks underneath and lifts up Arizona - Atomic Drop! Mongoose might be setting up for the-
Duke: CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER! THIS ONE'S OVER!
Beeman: It's night-night time, champ!
LeRay: Indeed, Duke Mongoose has locked Arizona Chance in the Cobra Clutch! Arizona is struggling mightily, but they're in the center of the ring. The ropes must feel like they're miles away! I think the champ is fading. Frank McCorry checks him... and calls for the bell! In an incredible twist of fate, Duke Mongoose has defeated the World Heavyweight Champion and avenged his loss from last year's J-1!
Beeman: I had no doubt. This tournament is Big Daddy Duke's to win, and even if he somehow doesn't win the cup, he's still got a title shot against Arizona because of this, right?
LeRay: You have to imagine that Kip Whistler is taking note. Hold the phone, what is Duke doing now?
Beeman: He's going after that bag that Arizona brought into the ring.
LeRay: The champion is unconscious in the center of the ring and Duke is armed with a gym bag that we all assume is filled with - OH MY GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN!!!
(Duke dumps the contents of the gym bag onto the fallen Arizona Chance. A copious amount of viscous brown substance pours from the bag and onto Chance. The crowd audibly gasps, with some members of the crowd looking like they're about to vomit)
Beeman: I think I'm going to be sick. Remember how I said the biting before was too far? Now Duke's REALLY gone too far.
LeRay: The champion is covered in... whatsit... although I would imagine there would be some kind of smell if it is what we think it is.
Beeman: Fair point.
(Arizona has been revived after being doused, and a cheshire cat grin forms on his face as he laughs and licks his lips)
Beeman: That's it. I'm gonna hurl.
LeRay: Arizona is laughing, and I think I know why. That's chocolate pudding, Beeman! This was all a ruse to get back at Mongoose, which has unfortunately backfired.
Beeman: Well, now Chance lost fair and square AND is covered in pudding. I can't say he's having a good night.
LeRay: Someone who IS having a good night is Duke Mongoose, who has just scored more points in this year's J-1 tournament than all of last years!
Beeman: Thanks for reminding everyone, you jerk.
LeRay: Fans, we'll see you all next week for the third round of the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament!
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