J-1 Pinnacle - Block B - Round Two - Penguino vs. Kobane

[Kip Whistler]

Round Two in Block B:
Penguino (2) vs. Seph Kobane (0)

[Penguino]

Penguino heads out to “Stay Vicious” by The Gaslight Anthem

Penguino and Johnny Kobra head out to the ring running ready to rampage and hopefully get another victory to help Penguinos score. Penguino along his way sees a kid in the front row of the crowd. Penguino miraculously pulls a pen out of his fur signs the kids Penguino plush and runs off to the ring.

He enters the ring and waits for his opponent to enter the ring

[Seph Kobane]

The lights dim, spotlights hit the ramp:



The Offspring! What a band!

Seph Kobane steps onto the ramp, his white sunglasses on, flannel hanging off his frame, his drawn jaw chewing him, Converse laces trailing under the cuffs of his torn jeans.

LeRay: How is he so cocky? Tommy destroyed him last week.
Beeman: You're not wrong, Mick. Tommy, clearly the heart and soul, most popular wrestler in the JWA, absolutely dominated Seph last week.
LeRay: I know! You'd think that he'd have even a tiny bit of offense in, but no, Tommy didn't even give him a single breath.
Beeman: The monster.

As the lyrics hit, Seph strolls to the ring, gazing lazily at the crowd around him.

Despite Brad's deathly fear of Penguino, Seph appears unconcerned, but then again, he hasn't been showing much recently other than contempt and immaturity. He's a real piece of work. Seph smirks and hands the official his tattered flannel, entering in a tank top, jeans and at least stopping to tuck his laces in.

Rod C: Entering the ring, hailing from Grey Harbour, Washington, he is the man formerly known as The Truth, Seph Koooooooobane!


Seph wipes his feet on the apron out of respect, enters the ring and strolls over to the opposite turnbuckle, his sunglasses still on. He hops up onto the turnbuckle, sits and watches the entrance as his music fades, waiting for Penguino to make the first move as the bell rings...

[Penguino]

LeRay “This bout is underway and the two stare at each other and they go to the center of the ring for a lockup but no Penguino grabs in and Seth faked him out and as he says “Juked” him out.”

Beeman “Look at the humble Seth saying that it was his shoes that made the smart move.”

LeRay “I’m pretty sure he’s bragging about his expensive shoes and while he is Penguino hits him with a release German suplex from behind.”

Beeman “Booo what a cheap shot from Penguino.”

LeRay “Seth is getting back to his feet a little dizzy but he turns around into a flipper chop which sends him back down. Now Kobsne is back up and he charges Penguino but it’s countered into an arctic penguin arm drag.”

Beeman “Arctic Penguin arm drag? How many arm drags are there.”

LeRay “Oh not many like the Japanese arm drag, the German arm drag, the arctic penguin as just demonstrated, the orca arm drag, the great white shark arm drag-“

Beeman “how do sharks do arm drags.”

LeRay “I don’t know nor do I care as Kobane gets up yet again in the corner only to be out in a sandwich between a Penguin and turn buckle. Seph collapses again.”

[Seph Kobane]

Seph struggles to his feet but Penguino is on him.

LeRay: You'd think Seph would have gotten as far from Penguino as possible considering how much Brad hates him.
Beeman: Fears him.

Seph shakes of Penguino's attacks and the bird waddles off, spinning in a long circle and charging forward towards Seph, aiming for a tackle and-

Beeman: Oh my!

Seph catches Penguino in an arm drag. A Washington arm drag. The bird rolls to his webbed feet and hits Seph with a colossal squid arm drag.

Arm Drag City, Pop. 2.

All the arm drags: Irish, French, Tiger, Pugilistic, Memphis, Phoenician, Liverpudlian, Serpentine, Philadelphian, Rainbow, Fisherman's, Fireman's, Somersaulting, Bastard, Kornokovian, Kavorkian, Mr. T and finally Dude Brohanian.

At the end, the two wrestlers are panting, blushed, and in a corner each, chests heaving and crowd applauding.

[Penguino]

Penguin charges in at Kobane who goes for Russian leg sweep arm drag anticipating to catch Penfuino but Penguino had already stopped and “Juked” Kobane out as Penguino points toward his feet.

LeRay “Shades of the early match from Penguino.”

Beeman “He’s stealing moves how low do you need to be to do that.”

LeRay “It seems like pretty low as Penguino slides across the ring beak first into Kobane’s legs, No the penguin eats a foot.”

Beeman “Those are some pure Skillz from Seph.”

LeRay “Seph is stalking Penguino as he gets up, he might be going for a major move.”

[Seph Kobane]

The pair look to lock up, and Penguino goes to grab Seph. But - at the last second! - Seph slides under, grabs Penguino by the wing and whips him. Penguino shoots off, hits the ropes and returns, only to eat a vertebrae-shattering spinebuster. The sheer force of it causes both competitors to bounce off the mat.

They end up in opposite corners, backs against the turnbuckle, both hurting, both taking the respite as they can, breathing deeply before the next engagement.

[Penguino]

The two head into the center of the ring like they did in the beginning of the match.

LeRay “Penguino goes for a leg sweep Kobane leaps over it and stomps on the humanoid penguins foot. ‘Guino back up into his corner and Seph mounts onto the ropes looking down on him he lifts his fist and punches Penguinos beak.”

Beeman “That’s gotta hurt.”

LeRay “Indeed it does as Kobane hopped off the ropes holding his hand and now is having a temper tantrum in the center of the ring over it. He gets up seemingly recuperated with his back facing Penguino but Penguino is doing just fine himself and Kobane backs up into him. Penguino with the waist lock 1 2 3 rolling German suplexes. He spins him around 1 2 3 Penguinos. Thin Ice he’s not done. Ice fishing. He isn’t done he get him back up ICEBREAKER! He dropped him right in his head and now Francis X Mccorry hops in ti make the count 1 2 3 it’s all over.”