J-1 Pinnacle - Block B - Round Five - Penguino vs. Chad

[Kip Whistler]

Round Five in Block B:
Penguino (8) vs. Chad Shredsbury (8)

[Penguino]

"Stay Vicious" by The gaslight Anthem plays over the loudspeakers




Penguino and Johnny Kobra walk out and the crowd goes absolutely nuts.

LeRay "Penguino the obvious crowd favorite but at the end of the day Chad does  have more wins over 'Guino here so if  i were a betting man, my money would be on him."

Beeman "Mick that's the smartest thing you've said all day."

Leray "Wow your first compliment I'm flattered."

Beeman "i take it back."

Penguino makes his way down signing autographs on one side while Johnny does the other and they enter the ring and wait for their arch nemesis.

[Chad Shredsbury]

"It Could Have Been Me" fires up and Chad Shredsbury walks out, looking as confident as ever.

LeRay:  Listen to the boos, Sean.

Beeman:  All I hear is the music of the man who looks to me like the odds on favorite to win this year's J1 Pinnacle!  Look at the muscles pop as he drops that knee and flexes with the beloved "hang loose" fingers for the fans.

LeRay:  "Beloved"?  Maybe once upon a time, Sean, but lately-- wait a minute.  He just grabbed one of the photos Penguino autographed from a fan!  He's tearing it to shreds!  What a rotten son of a gun!  That's despicable!  This man flat out hates kids.

Beeman:  So what?  As far as I know he doesn't have any.

LeRay:  What is wrong with you?

Beeman:  Wrong with me?  Nothing is wrong with me, I've never been more right in my life, LeRay!  

LeRay:  Chad finally makes it to the ring and Penguino looks livid.  

Beeman:  I've never seen such an angry fish-bird-man before.  What's he so mad at Chad about?  From what I've heard, the man gives some very charitable donations to cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch!

LeRay:  On what authority did you get that bit of information?

Beeman:  Valley Girl told me.

LeRay:  Will you stop?!  I mean, the guy just ripped up a kid's sign on his way to the ring!


  

[Penguino]

LeRay "Alright here we go, we have Panther Haberdashery officiating this match to  make sure of no funny business between these two. The two competitors lock up both looking for a shot at the title that has eluded both of them."

The two lock up and Shredsbury shoves Penguino back to the turnbuckle.

Beeman "Look at the beauty of strength LeRay."

The two get into a strike exchange with cheers for Penguino's chops and boo's for Chad's punches.

LeRay "Chad with a punch and another, and another sends Penguino off the ropes for a dropkick and bang, the crowd goes mild for Shredsbury."

Beeman "These people just can't appreciate art can they."

LeRay "Last time I checked punching someone in the face is not art Sean. Penguino is recovering and Chad now with a kick to the face but no it's dodged by the penguin and Penguino slips behind for a german suplex and bang, the crowd goes wild."

Beeman "Wild, mild, same thing.

LeRay "What was that Sean I can't hear you over the crowd."

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  Penguino with the upper hand now fires Shredsbury into the ropes and lowers... sort of, looking for a backdrop here, but Chad rolls back over back and comes out on his feet.

Beeman:  Gotta love the agility.  The athleticism of that, LeRay.

LeRay:  Sean, nobody here loves anything about this guy but you.

Beeman:  Being right is not a popularity contest.  Chad takes his momentum now and runs to the other side of the ring and comes off the second rope with a beautiful disaster kick--

LeRay:  But the humanoid penguin has him scouted and rolls under it, then hooks Chad into a schoolboy rollup for a one count!

Beeman:  Way too soon to try to put Chad away.

LeRay:  Never underestimate the element of surprise, my friend.  And I think that shows that Penguino is more than prepared for his opponent's bread and butter here tonight.

Beeman:  So many things wrong with that commentary, LeRay.  We're not friends, penguins don't prepare, they literally just have natural tuxedos on, and Chad doesn't eat bread... look at those abs.  

[Penguino]

Chad rolls through on the kick out into his knees and Penguino super kicks him.


LeRay “Kick here sends Chad to the floor and Penguino heads up to the top rope for a flying Penguin. He jumps and no the not so welsh surfer rolls out of the way and Penguino crashes to the mat.”

Beeman “Look at the strength, you need to love it.”

LeRay “Yet again Sean nobody loves it. Chad heads to the apron as Penguino gets up now. He launches off the ropes and a forearm in midair from the Californian bum.”

Beeman “You are quite obviously the bum here Mick.”

LeRay “I beg to differ as Chad hits a stiff forearm to the beak which hurts his arm and the penguin pecks Chad and hits a drop kick sending him down to the mat.”

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay:  Shredsbury scrambles to the corner, nursing his wounded arm and perhaps his pride, but Penguino comes charging... well, rapidly waddling into a belly slide and crushes Chad right in the unmentionables with his beak.

Beeman:  That's wrong on a lot of levels, but at the same time, you've gotta respect the big bird's commitment. 

LeRay:  I don't think he'd like hearing you call him big bird.

Beeman:  Well, he's big for a bird, little for a man... I don't know what you want from me here, LeRay. 

LeRay:  We know what the fans want, though, there's no confusion there.  They are chanting for 3 Penguinos.  And Johnny Kobra is chanting right here with them.  Penguino looks to oblige, but Chad slips away, hits the ropes and comes in hot... to an arctic arm drag that puts the soulless surfer flat on his back. 

Beeman:  But he kips up after just a moment!  And he charges again, but Penguino drops down and Chad comes back off the far ropes into a rolling savate kick that Penguino flaps his arms and floats above???  What the--

LeRay:  Amazing!  Did the penguin just fly?

Beeman:  It was definitely more of a flutter.  Honestly I think he just jumped and added the flipper flap for showmanship.  Again, you gotta give it to him for that. 

LeRay:  Indeed you do, and as Shredsbury looks as bewildered as us, Penguino hooks him into one-two-three Penguinos!  Ice fishing and he keeps the leg hooked for a two count!   

[Penguino]

Penguino is shocked that Chad kicked out and goes to the corner to think for a minute.

LeRay “Penguino in the corner now taking advice from Johnny Kobra who is now on the apron but Chad is now up and charges the corner. No Penguino moves out of the way and Chad goes crashing into the corner and now Guino goes and rushes with a clothesline that is also dodged by Chad and this one takes out Kobra on the apron.”

Beeman “Whatever Penguino can do Shredsbury can do better.”

LeRay “Penguino is shocked and he turns around. Super kick. and followed by and enziguri which sends Penguino to the floor

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Penguino finds himself in the unenviable position of being on the arena floor near his manager and training partner, and as I may have expected here comes Chad with a diving hands free plancha over the top and wiping out both men!

Beeman. That’s what we call adding insult to injury in the biz, LeRay.

LeRay. Yes, I think I’ve heard that somewhere before. And of course Chad drops to a knee and poses for a round of boos. What a Chad.

[Chad Shredsbury]

Beeman. Haberdashery is at a six count and Chad is still posing for his adoring fans.

LeRay. What are you listening to?!

Beeman. Shredsbury rolls the Penguin into the ring and shouts a few choice words to Kobra before hopping into the apron. He looks poised to take this one home…

LeRay. But Penguino has other plans as Chad attempts to Shred the Gnar but nobody is home! Penguino played possum and got out of the way!

Beeman. A penguin with a possum as his spirit animal? This I cannot believe!

LeRay. Chad rolls through the stomp but as he scans the ring for his opponent—

Beeman. What is the ungodly noise?

LeRay. It’s Penguino! Letting out a king fu cry of some kind! Johnny Kobra is shouting something to him. And from all the way across the ring Penguino leaps and delivers a savage bicycle kick! Tiny bird feet smashing into Chad’s face over and over again! Shredsbury is rocked!

Beeman. Of course he is! That defied the laws of physics! And the scream alone was enough to drop any man!

LeRay. But Guino isn’t done. Three German suplexes, the last one holds bridge! One-two- no!!

Beeman. Yes!

LeRay. Penguino looks to John for advice. Kobra wants him to sweep the leg.

Beeman. Shocker.

LeRay. Penguino is lying in wait. Stalking Chad.

Beeman. Penguins stalk now?

LeRay. This is no ordinary penguin! This is for the J1 b block win! Shredsbury slowly rises, unsteady on his feet! Penguino holds strong in a fighting stance.

Beeman. Shredsbury is playing rabbit I know it.

LeRay. You mean possum.

Beeman. Whatever.

LeRay. Penguino goes for the leg. Chad cartwheels through and comes back with a roundhouse to the beak! Both men stagger back! Chad grabs Penguino’s head and runs to the corner! Sliced bread! Both men are down and gasping for air! Johnny is on the apron screaming!

Beeman. Shut that guy up!

LeRay. Both competitors crawling to the same ropes. Both men spill themselves back to their feet. Flipper chop! Forearm smash from Chad! Back and forth they go! A knee from Chad! Penguino leaps up and pecks him in the face! But Shredsbury grabs him up high and falls back into the ropes! Stun gun to Penguino! He looks to be out cold. Chad drapes an arm across the chest! One-two-three!!

Beeman. There it is! For the second year in a row Shredsbury is going to the J1 final!

LeRay. And it looks like he will be meeting Red Pirate Rogers. I’m sure the fans will not be split down the middle as they had been when these two met in previous encounters.