JWA Glory Episode 167 - J-1 Pinnacle Special - The Finals

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

This is it! We're on the precipice of crowning the 2023 J-1 Pinnacle Tournament winner! This year we've got two very deserving competitors ready to do battle for the trophy and the World Heavyweight Championship match that comes along with it. Red Pirate Rogers won Block A, with his only loss coming at the hands of the current World champion Arizona Chance. Rogers was the runner-up in the 2021 J-1 Pinnacle Tournament, falling short to his then tag team championship partner Mack Caliber. Will this be Red's year to take the cup? Or is he too preoccupied with whatever misdeeds have been going on surrounding "Lord" Taylor Thorin and the East India Trading Company? Red's opponent will be hoping for the latter - Chad Shredsbury ran the table in Block B, and has actually been undefeated since he revealed his true self to the JWA fans. Shredsbury was the runner-up in last year's J-1 tournament, falling short to current World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance. It's a new version of the man formerly known as "The Dude of Wales" - could that be the difference maker here tonight? He's managed to defeat everyone else who has stood in his way thus far, including the red hot Penguino and his former two-time tag team championship partner Pierre The Enormous. Will Rogers become just another on the list of greats Shredsbury has defeated? Or will Chad be overconfident? We won't have to wait long to find out!

Also, in our semi-final bout of the night, JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner will be defending her title against "The Huntress" Artemis. This is a match that was originally planned for Destiny in January, but it felt wrong to make these ladies wait. Can Daisy retain her championship against the woman who destroyed Sakura Watanabe at Guts & Gory? Will The Huntress claim her first championship in JWA here tonight? Regardless of the outcome, you can bet that "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex will be waiting in the wings to challenge the winner.

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Coming up next week we've got a match for the JWA World Tag Team Championship when Duke Mongoose & Penguino will defend their titles against The Bad Luck Bros, that being Bad Luck Bradley and Seph Kobane. The Bad Luck Bros scored a victory over the champions the last time these two teams met, albeit by disqualification. We expect to hear from these four during tonight's broadcast.

While neither man fared well in the J-1, it appears there may be something brewing between Omega Satyros and Tommy End. Keep an eye out for that.

Chief Buffalo announced on Chirpy that he's got an announcement to make here tonight on Glory. Whatever could it be?

Let's get this show underway! It's the 2023 J-1 Pinnacle Tournament finals! Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Wink stands in the ring and announces the terms of the match.

Wink: The following contest is scheduled for one Fall (the crowd echoes him), with a thirty-minute time limit. It will also decide the winner of the 2023 J-1 Pinnacle Tournament! (Cheers)

Wink: our first contestant (cannons blast), coming down the aisle. Hailing from the seven seas and joined by his allies in the Color Crew…Red Pirate Rrrrrrrrroooogerrrrrs!!!

(Rogers makes his way to the ring, smiling and cheering with fans, while the crew walks around him like a boxer’s ring crew, all in color coded outfits, high diving a few times but mostly staring ahead.

LeRay: Here comes Red Pirate Rogers, certainly would be a big win for him tonight, he would join Dyno, Mack Caliber, and Arizona Chance as having claimed the three main titles in JWA…

Beeman: oh god…really? Come on Chad…save me from this nightmare!!

[Chad Shredsbury]

The lights go dark and a single spot light shines on the ramp as we hear The Beach Boys “Good Vibrations” kick on and out strolls Chad Shredsbury.

LeRay. Are you kidding me?

Beeman. Who doesn’t love The Beach Boys? This song is a classic, LeRay.

Chad drops to a knee, pumps his biceps and throws up a hang loose as the fans jeer.

LeRay. Well, I’m sure it’s not The Beach Boys they are booing, but the JWA faithful have clearly let their voices be heard here tonight.

Beeman. They don’t know what they are talking about. This man has an almost unreal success rate in this tournament and he is going to defeat the Red Pirate, just as he’s done before.

LeRay. You seem to forget that Red’s got a victory or two over Chad as well, Sean.

Beeman. That was way back when there was no Chad. That was the Welsh Wimp, Chesterton.

LeRay. He has always been Chad!!! He was deceiving us all along.

Beeman. I know, right? What a kidder!

LeRay. You are impossible my friend. Well, he’s made his way to the ring now, after looking at the Colourful Crew with a bit of disdain.

Beeman. Haha! There is a history there, of course. Remember when Shredsbury and Rogers fought for the honor of Tony Cruise and she decided to go out with Kenny Wynn? That was fantastic. Are they still an item?

LeRay. I have no idea. Are you feeling alright tonight, Sean? You’re acting even more ridiculous than usual. In any event, the official is going over the rules here and whoa! A slap across the face by Chad!

Beeman. Haha! Just in case Red thought they were friends.

LeRay. There’s the bell and Rogers immediately firing back with a boot to the midsection of the surfer.

Beeman. That was uncalled for!

LeRay. Rogers sends Shredsbury into the ropes and leapfrogs over his head on the return, but Chad catches the ropes on the other side and stops himself in his tracks. And look at these two stare one another down, Sean.

Beeman. I suppose we could say there’s no love lost between these two, right LeRay?

LeRay. You could say that again.

Beeman. I sure could. But I will not.

[Thumper Moore III]

The camera cuts to Arizona, backstage, in full gear despite not being scheduled to wrestle. He is standing with his back to a television monitor, and it appears he is watching the action via a mirror. Honest Sal approaches.

HONEST SAL: Arizona, do you have a preference on who wins tonight?

ARIZONA: Sal, normally I’d give you some trash about how I don’t care, how I only care about giving the fans a great match tonight and an even better one at Destiny… but I’m pulling for Rogers tonight. He’s a friend, we’ve had tremendous matches in the past, and hopefully we’ll have one more soon.

SAL: And what about his opponent?

ARIZONA: I faced the Walnut Creek Waverider in last year’s finals. It was a match of the year candidate, and I ended up scraping by with a W. We’d also have a heck of a match. But he’s not a friend. He stabbed Pierre in the back, and deceived an entire company for over a year. Given the options, I’d prefer to work with someone I can trust.

SAL: Back to the commentary team for the match!

[Red Pirate Rogers]

(Rogers and Shredsbury continue to stare eachother down, circling slowly, Rogers steps up and initiates a tie up...)

LeRay: Rogers ties up, ooh fast arm drag take down and Shredsbury is up, coming back, another one from Rogers, Shredsbury back to his feet and...ooh

Beeman: HA! A running knee! Rogers thought he could get a triple but Shredsbury caught him...this kid, he's a mastermind, I tell ya!

LeRay: He certainly shifted the momentum as Rogers looks like his bell has been rung, getting up now, no! Running bulldog drives Rogers face into the mat by the corner and Shredsbury's got the edge here.

Beeman: Keep it up Chad!

(Shredsbury, goes to the corner, pops up to the second rope and jumps with arms up for a double axehandle)

LeRay: OH! Rogers with a quick punch to the gut, Shredsbury had his arms up and left his mid section wide open to attack...

Beeman: Ahem, I think you mean his award winning eight pack abdomen. Rogers should know that chiseled bit of granite is insured by Loyd's of London!

LeRay: Oh brother...

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

before the main event

buffalo stance hits and chief buffalo stomps to the ring, not in his ring gear but in a big buckskin suit with all the fringe like some Wild West show emcee. he doesn't do his usual schtick of mocking fans or being gross and takes a minute before he climbs into the ring. fans boo before he picks up the mic.

"ok ya pencil-necked geeks, freaks and some where in be-tweaks! shut yer nasty fly traps before I shut the darn things for ya, five ya, six-yahtzee!!!" (fans boo louder)

"see, this is the problem. y'all don't listen...nobody does what the big bad buffalo tells 'em. I told Arizona chump change chance that I was going to destroy him and he became the gol' dern champion...AGAIN. I got me a posse of apoca-pop-a-long-olympics warriors and we didn't do jack squat! I got beat by a flightless bird! And I got brainwashed to boot..." (Fans laugh at the memories)

"so I got something to say. I hear you, you noodle armed ninety-five pound sacks of nothing. ye've been real clear, yer saying 'not now, buff...I know you're not saying no, but I do think yer saying 'not now.'

"so, this is it. I'm out. I ain't getting in this gol darn ring again and you won't have chief buffalo to kick around anymore!" (Fans cheer)

(buffalo pauses, he think this is gratitude)

"but don't worry...I got one person I know listens to me...and I'm gonna help them take this whole place down with a huff and a puff and an Ravenclaw too...so...goodbye ya ingrates...fer now..." (buffalo leaves the ring)

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Rogers looking to capitalize now as he positions Chad for a suplex it looks like. But no! Shredsbury hooks his leg in and blocks it.

Beeman. See? Those abs are not compromised at all. That core strength is unparalleled!

LeRay. They are pulling back and forth here to see who is going to win this suplex battle. Both men straining. And Chad pops a knee to Red’s gut and delivers a crisp snap suplex.

Beeman. Perfectly executed.

LeRay. Can’t argue that, Sean. Chad now picks Rogers up and delivers a stifling chop (woo!) across the chest.

Beeman. Ha! Gives new meaning to Red Pirate, eh?

LeRay. Another chop (woo!) from Chad. And now he whips Rogers into the corner a charges, firing a devastatin dropkick, which send Red ricocheting off the turnbuckle and to the mat. Back up to the second rope goes Shredsbury.

Beeman. The most dangerous rope!

LeRay. He takes flight with a second rope elbow but nobody is home as the wily Rogers rolls out of the way!

Beeman. No good scallywag!

LeRay. Red uses the moment to spring up and comes in hard with a shining wizard to the face of Shredsbury!

Beeman. Now he’s a wizard? Being a freaking Pirate isn’t enough for his guy? What’s he going to turn into a Minotaur next?

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Shredsbury lands face down on the mat and Rogers seems to get an idea.

LeRay: What is Rogers planning here?
Beeman: Another bout of larceny no doubt!
LeRay: He's turned away from Shredsbury...Oh look out! Springboard plancha right on to Chesterton's mid section and I don't care how much core strength you have that's going to hurt.
Beeman: Shows what you know, Mick. Chad can handle it, and I'm just 8 minutes away from those same rock solid abs.
LeRay: 8 minutes?
Beeman: Yeah, its' right on here on a VHS, they can't lie if they put it on a tape.
LeRay: Never mind...Rogers is going for it again...(it connects and fans ooh as Chesterton winces and the Color Crew cheer from ringside!)...oh my, Chad getting the business now, and Rogers is...yes...he's going for the figurehead, he's going to completely bend Shredsbury's core and back!
Beeman: Ahh...now this...probably will hurt.

(Sure enough Chad looks pained and gives a loud yell, but after a minute or so his hand catches the second rope and Panther Haberdashery calls for the break, but when Haberdashery turns away Peter Dombrowski jumps up and grabs the rope breaking Shredsbury's hold)

LeRay Oh, that's good fortune for Chad there...wait, what happened?
Beeman: Rogers' pack of thugs stopped Shredsbury! That's what happened!! A blantant cheat!
LeRay: But Rogers released the hold. If it was an attempt to cheat, Rogers sure didn't know it.

(Haberdashery looks confused, and so does Rogers. Vinny Bambino looks upset and is saying that Shredsbury let go while Dombrowski walks away trying to act nonchalant, in the confusion Shredsbury grabs Rogers in a surprise roll up) 

LeRay: Oh Shredsbury with a shocking reversal, 1...2...NO! Just out in time, but Chad almost stole the win here!
Beeman: Only after Rogers tried to steal it first!

[Duke Mongoose]

(Prior to the main event)

Honest Sal: Fans, please welcome my guest at this time, one half of the JWA World Tag Team Champions... Duke Mongoose!

(The fans boo as Duke makes his way through the curtain and over to the podium. Duke is wearing his usual eyesore of an outfit)

Sal: Duke, how does it feel to be one week away from defending your titles against The Bad Luck Bros?

Duke: Sally Boy, I've got a question for you: How does it feel to work for a company that has a COWARD as its World Heavyweight Champion?

Sal: Are you insinuating that Arizona Chance is a coward?

Duke: You bet your sweet bippy I am! I am the only man to defeat Arizona Chance since he won the title, but he goes on a diatribe about how this person deserves a title match and that person deserves a title match. He practically listed everyone who isn't Big Daddy Duke!

Sal: To be fair, he did include you in his list.

Duke: To be fair, WHERE'S MY TITLE MATCH? I earned it before either of these two clowns fighting tonight! Or how about Omega Satyros? I beat the horned goat man! "After the J-1 my calendar is open"? Sounds like your name should be Arizona CHICKEN!

Sal: That's a terrible name. And besides, history has shown that Arizona is a fighting champion.

Duke: History, shmistory, Sally Boy! I want what I'm owed!

Sal: Switching gears, you didn't answer my question about your tag team championship defense next week against The Bad Luck Bros.

Duke: Call your grandmother, Sal! This interview is over!

(Duke storms away from the podium to a chorus of boos)

Sal: Fans, next week Duke and Penguino defend the tag titles against The Bad Luck Bros, but stay tuned as we've got a Women's World Championship match and the J-1 Pinnacle finals still to come!

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Red Pirate is back on his feet and he squares off once again, face to face with Shredsbury. Chad grabs him into a side headlock, and starts running, perhaps looking for a bulldog, but Red rockets him off and into the ropes, digging in for another arm drag here, but Shredsbury comes across on his feet, still locking arms with Rogers and uses the momentum to Japanese arm drag Red.

Beeman. That was athletic as hell.

LeRay. Shredsbury now springs off the second rope looking for the beautiful disaster kick, but Rogers ducks under it and comes up hot, charging with a clothesline! But Shredsbury now ducks under the clothesline and comes off the far rope. Rogers leapfrogs Chad, who doesn’t miss a beat as he runs straight across the ring and goes over the top for a plancha onto the Colourful Crew!

Beeman. Hahaha! I knew Chad wouldn’t let those hooligans get away with their cheating!

LeRay. He certainly let them know how he feels about them with that move. And now, of course, the posing and the hang loose for the boos of the masses.

Beeman. Everyone of these people is just jealous.

LeRay. Not a great idea though, because Chad turns around in the arena floor and is the recipient of a suicide dive by his actual opponent! Rogers and Shredsbury both come down hard on the arena floor!

Beeman. There are bodies everywhere, LeRay! The roof is coming off this place right now!

[Omega Satyros]

Omega is seen backstage with a few other wrestlers, including the Black Cat. Black Cat pulls Omega aside.

Omega: What do you need?

Black Cat: I actually wanted to thank you, other than the Frostbite I got from Winter, I've been on something of a winning streak since you and Diablo helped me out. Also, thank you for knocking a bit of sense into Kenny and Chase.

Omega: Your welcome? I didn't realize there was any bad blood between you guys.

Black Cat: There wasn't until they kinda ditched me for Rogers' crew. I get it, but it still stings, ya know.

Omega: Yeah, I get it. Anything else you wanted to talk about?

Black Cat: I have something of a history with Tommy End. Admittedly that history is a series of squash matches on house shows, but I think I could be a bit of help in you training up for his offence. I know you've got Diablo and Troglo, and they've got something of a better resume when it comes to this business, but...

Omega: Say no more, if you want to help me out, I'd be stupid to just outright deny it. Tommy End is a lone wolf, and that hasn't exactly been to his advantage lately.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

(Red is the first to get up from the mess on the floor, but instead of targeting Shredsbury, he seems focused on his crew men)

LeRay: Rogers is helping Chase Victory and Kenny Wynn to their feet here but...hang on...
Beeman: What new skullduggery are they planning for poor Chad...
LeRay: Rogers is pointing to the back, and...yes, he's giving the Colorful Crew their marching orders, he doesn't want them down here

(The camera on the argument can pick up Rogers' words "No...no...go...I will win or lose on my own merits, I will not take any ill gotten advantage". Kenny and Chase look confused, Peter looks sad and ashamed, Vinny looks angry)

LeRay: Yes, Rogers is sending them back to the locker room!
Beeman: What. An. Idiot.
LeRay: He's stopping any further attacks on "poor Chad"...shouldn't you be happy?
Beeman: "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." Rogers. never. learns.

(The color crew begins to filter to the back while Rogers turns back to Chad, now getting to his feet, Rogers comes closer but Chad springs up with a surprise punch that knocks Rogers back and leaves him slumped against the barricade. Then Chad seems to kick something behind him.)

LeRay: Hang on...did Shredsbury have a foreign object?
Beeman: What, like a baguette?
LeRay: No, a weapon! He seemed to have something concealed in his hand...and then kicked it underneath the ring.
Beeman: No idea what you're talking about Mick, that's pure Surfer strength!
LeRay: What happened to "always cheat"?
Beeman: What happened to doing your job, Mick! C'mon call the action! Rogers is about to get what he deserves.
LeRay: It's true fans, Chad Shredsbury has rolled Red Pirate Rogers into the ring and looks like he's going up to the top rope, could he be aiming to end it?

(Chad goes for a frog splash and connects, but his mid-section seems to be giving him tremendous pain and after bouncing off he rolls away unable to go for a cover).

LeRay: Unbelievable action here fans, but who can capitalize now?!?

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. Chad slowly crawling to cover Rogers, but Red is slowly rolling away. Both men clutching their guts.

Beeman. Both men nearly spilling their guts in this one, LeRay.

LeRay. Rogers gets to the corner. Using every rope to hoist himself back up. And no sooner does he get there than Shredsbury comes charging at him with a shotgun dropkick— but Red evades the move!

Beeman. How could it be so?!

LeRay. And due to the front dropkick nature of the missed maneuver, Chad finds himself in the tree of woe!

Beeman. Woe is Chad! No! No!

LeRay. Shredsbury is in the helpless position he has often used to put his opponents away and Red Pirate Rogers knows it. He goes out to the apron and begins to climb to the top while Chad tries feverishly to free his legs!

Beeman. This is like an awful dream! A really bad dream! That wretched Pirate had better not steal Chad’s move!

LeRay. Well… he is a pirate, after all.

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

This is the moment.

I race out to ringside, waiting for the opportunity. As Red anscends, I sneak into the ring behind the ref, and as Red comes crashing down, I shove the ref into the corner. Ref is down, Chad is down, Red is down.

I steel myself for what I have to do: it’s time to make sure we’re on the correct side of history. I pick up Red, who looks surprised yo see me to say the least. But his surprise turns to horror as I hoist him onto my shoulders, toss him high into the air, and his face connects with my fist in the Magnum Slug heard round the world.

There is a stunned silence for a moment, followed by a huge chorus of boos. Chad rouses himself as I leave, and I walk toward the ramp as I am showered with trash thrown by the very fans who so longed for my return.

[Chad Shredsbury]

LeRay. What has Mack Caliber just done?!

Beeman. He’s done the world a huge favor!

LeRay. Rogers is laid out after being swiped from the top rope and hit with a devastating Magnum Slug!

Beeman. And Chad Shredsbury has freed his feet and is poised on the apron. We all know why comes next is academic!

LeRay. Panther Haberdashery isn’t sure what just went down! If only the Colour Crew hadn’t been sent backstage!

Beeman. As always, Rogers is his own word enemy! Aside from Chad. And Mack Caliber. And maybe me too, I hate the guy. And M’Lord Taylor Thorin. And—

LeRay. Shred the Gnar!!! This is a disgrace. One-two-three!!! The J1 has been corrupted by this awful act.

Rod Puttergil. Your winner of the 2023 J1 Pinnacle! Chaaaaaaad!!! Shredsburrrryyyyyy!!!

Beeman. You said it, Rod! And look at the smile on the face of the future JWA Champion!

LeRay. Yea, why not? As long as he has Mack Caliber to come down at an opportune time and take out his opponent!

Beeman. Bask in the warm glow of victory’s warming glow, LeRay. It’s the holiday season and this is a wonderful gift to the wrestling world.