JWA Crash Carnival 2024 *Main Thread*
Apr 23, 2024 17:12:43 GMT -5
The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM likes this
Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 23, 2024 17:12:43 GMT -5
JWA presents...
CRASH CARNIVAL 2024
(Footage of a merry-go-round is shown on screen, followed by time lapse footage of flowers blooming and other assorted nature footage)
Narrator: Spring is in the air, which can mean only one thing. It's carnival season...
(The footage changes to recent clips from JWA television. We see the outside the ring mayhem from Omega Satyros and Diablo. We see "Relentless" Conor Caine triumphing over Chad Shredsbury. We see Mack Caliber delivering a soliloquy over the fallen body of Honest Sal while Winter Hex looks on and applauds. We see clips of the matches between Rogers & Penguino and Duke & DOOM and all the chaos that ensued. We see Daisy Turner rocking her way to the ring along with the Killer Divas. We see Jessie Aldean getting screamed at by Chief Buffalo. We see Arizona and Veronica Chance training hard at their Sedona estate.)
Narrator: It's CRASH CARNIVAL season!
(The image switches to Toni Cruise sitting at the center of a desk located somewhere in the outer area of the stadium)
Toni Cruise: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Crash Carnival kickoff panel! I'm your host, Toni Cruise, and joining me to break down all the action coming your way tonight are none other than Chet Desmond and Yuppie VP.
Chet Desmond: It's great to be here Toni. Take a deep breath of that fresh air! I love Crash Carnival because we take the JWA action outside for a unique experience.
Yuppie VP: Ahh, you can keep your "fresh air". My allergies are already acting up! Although any time the JWA wants my services, I'm happy to oblige.
Toni: Alright, let's take a look at tonight's card. Starting us off tonight is a first in JWA on two fronts, as Omega Satyros and Diablo will be going to battle in a Mask vs. Mask Inferno match! We've all witnessed the dissolution of Legado Del Infierno over the past few weeks, but did anyone think it would come to this?
Yuppie: I did, Toni. I knew from the moment that LDF formed that Omega was going to end up tearing it apart. Diablo tried to force his vision and his ways on Satyros, and the mythical warrior didn't want anything to do with it. I can't blame the guy! And it looks like Black Cat has chosen Satryos' side as well. Diablo is going to be in for a war tonight and if he's not careful, he's going to get burned.
Chet: See, I never saw LDF falling apart like this. When Diablo, Cat, and Satyros came together, I saw it as an opportunity for all three men to raise their stock in the JWA. Unfortunately, things didn't work out that way in the ring. I can understand Omega's frustrations, but there had to be a better way to handle business than what he's done.
Toni: Who do you think comes out on top in this extremely dangerous match?
Yuppie: I think Satyros is going to burn the devil here tonight, and exorcise his own demon in the process.
Chet: Maybe I'm a hopeless optimist, but I'm pulling for Diablo to come out on top.
Toni: Moving on to our next bout, we've got the World Tag Team Championship on the line as The Pirates OF DOOM defend against the former Forever Champs, Duke Mongoose & Penguino. Chet, I'll start with you. Who do you see walking away with the gold?
Chet: I'm all in on The Pirates OF DOOM. Something about this seemingly incompatible pair just resonates with me, and I think it resonates with the fans as well. Plus they're undefeated as a team. I think we see the champs retaining here tonight.
Yuppie: DOOM is definitely a force of nature, there's no doubt about it. But there's something to be said about cohesion and teamwork, and Duke & Penguino have that in spades.
Toni: I would say they *did* have that. If you've been watching lately it seems like there's some dissension in the ranks, particularly between Duke and Johnny Kobra.
Yuppie: Duke and Johnny have had their issues, but Duke doesn't call Penguino "his boy" for nothing. I predict the Forever Champs will be champions once again.
Toni: We've also got a match for the Women's World Championship here tonight, as "The Mean Queen" Jessie Aldean puts her title on the line against Daisy Turner. Yuppie, who do you predict will be victorious tonight?
Yuppie: Sure, Daisy has a new coat of paint, a new presentation, and a new attitude. Trust me from experience when I say this, but there's an old saying that "you can't polish a turd". I don't care how different Daisy makes herself look, she's still Daisy Turner and Daisy Turner isn't enough to win the belt from The Mean Queen.
Chet: That's a bit harsh, Yup. Personally, I love this new version of Daisy Turner. I dig the energy and the fire. From what I've seen, it looks like Jessie Aldean is more preoccupied with DOOM than she is with listening to her manager Chief Buffalo or keeping her championship. I think it's going to be "Anarchy in the JWA" when Daisy recaptures the gold!
Yuppie: What a mark.
Toni: And that brings us to our main event. It's a mixed tag team match pitting JWA World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance & his wife Veronica Chance against "The Debonair" Mack Caliber & "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex. The history between Arizona and Mack is almost as long as JWA's history, but suffice to say there's bad blood between these two and now they're bringing the ladies along for the ride. Chet, let's start with you. Who's your pick?
Chet: Yuppie mentioned tag team cohesion earlier when talking about Duke & Penguino, and I don't think anyone is going to have the kind of chemistry or cohesion that a husband and wife do. Arizona & Veronica make a hell of a team, and keep in mind that Arizona is the three time JWA World Heavyweight Champion for a reason. Mack & Winter may have something special going, but I don't think it's enough to take down the Chances.
Yuppie: As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Chet. I love the pair of Mack and Winter. I think they're going to do gangbusters in JWA. I just don't think they've had enough time together to truly take down a team the level of Arizona and Veronica. I know the two of them very well, and I can say from experience that Mack and Winter had better be ready for the fight of their life.
Toni: Fans, Crash Carnival is just moments away, but don't forget that in addition to all the action we just laid out, "Relentless" Conor Caine has vowed to do something that we all won't want to miss. What does he have in store? Don't go anywhere, because Crash Carnival starts right now!
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
