JWA Glory Episode 186 - Troglo vs. The Black Cat

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

It's a very special edition of Glory this week, as we have the in-ring return of Troglo! Not only is this his first match in a while, it's also his first official singles match in JWA! He's been training alongside his friends Pierre The Enormous and Jackson from Killie's Pub, and now we'll get to see the fruits of his labor. Standing across from him is no pushover, as he'll be taking on The Black Cat. Cat's been honing his craft around the world when not in the JWA ring, and he is currently the AOE Hardcore Champion. Tonight's match is a non-title affair, but that doesn't mean that Cat is going to go easy on Troglo. Who will come out on top? We'll find out soon enough!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Last week's main event saw Domination Inc., consisting of "Relentless" Conor Caine, "The Debonair" Mack Caliber, and "The Closer" Omega Satyros, defeating the all-star champion team of World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance and World Tag Team Champions The Pirates OF DOOM. Surely if there were any doubters as to the legitimacy of Domination Inc.'s claims, they've been silenced. We already know that Domination Inc. member "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex will be the first female to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title at Super Glory, but with a victory last week over the tag team champions, which members of the group will step up to challenge for that gold? 

Women's World Champion Daisy Turner and newcomer Lady Diana Gallus met last week and discussed the state of the JWA Women's Division. We hope to hear from one or both of them this week to find out how the meeting turned out. Former champion Jessie Aldean was recently spotted training hard with Chief Buffalo, so you have to think she's going to want another shot at the title. And where is Artemis in all of this?

Duke Mongoose laid down a challenge to Penguino, but we haven't heard anything from Penguino in response. It's likely that Penguino is ready to just move on to the next phase of his career, but I doubt that Duke is going to take his silence kindly.

"Lord" Taylor Thorin returned to our screens and stated that he'll be watching upcoming events very closely. What could his Lordship be scheming?

Let's get the show underway. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Cavemen Rejoice blares through the studio as Troglo makes his way to the ring with Huggy riding piggyback and I'm accompanying them*

Beeman: Oh great the teddy bear is back...

LeRay: I personally find Huggy to be adorable

Beeman: At least someone does...

Troglo: HUGGY CUTE!!! *he places Huggy next to Beeman*

Huggy: *looks straight into the windows of Beeman's soul*

Troglo: *gets in the ring and scratches his back with the ring ropes*

[Omega Satyros]

"Back in Black" by AC/DC rings out as Black Cat makes his way to the ring. He's debuting a new look, eschewing his usual singlet/long tights combo for a shirtless/trunks combo.

Beeman: Well, Black Cat's clearly been working out more since the last time we've seen anything close to this look.

LeRay: I'll be honest, it's hard to believe he's the guy who only broke 170+ match losing streak a scant 9 months ago. And only by technicality, as I'm sure you remember full well.

Beeman: And since that, he's proven himself to be a far worthier wrestler than any of the bums who wasted my kindness and generosity in trying to lead them to relevance.

LeRay: Sure, but he's bound to lose his current hot streak against one of the biggest men to ever step into a JWA ring in Troglo. Former acquaintances before Omega destroyed that by attacking Diablo, and Black Cat deciding to support that horrid behavior.

Beeman: Seems kind of rude for you to disrespect Black Cat for standing by the man in this company he's closest to. Hell, we never even properly found out where Troglo fell on that divide.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Troglo towers over Black Cat and grins sadistically as the bell rings*

Troglo: Tiny kitten... *he locks up with Black Cat and gets the upper hand and shoves him to the mat*

[Omega Satyros]

From his position, near flat on his back, Black Cat takes in just how imposing Troglo is.

LeRay: Clearly no love lost between Troglo and Black Cat, I can only imagine the damage Troglo would like to pull against Omega.

Beeman: Shows how empty any friendship this guy has is. He and Black Cat run in the same circle for over half a year and he's acting like he's never met the man.

Huggy: *gives Beeman a glare that says 'Troglo knows what friendship is, and he'll beat that knowledge into Beeman personally if he has to.'*

Troglo looms over Black Cat, he stops for a second to listen to what Huggy was 'saying', enough time for Black Cat to roll out of the ring. Troglo rolls out to give chase.

Beeman: Black Cat's going to need to rely on his superior agility and intellect to take this past-his-prime sack of meat out.

LeRay: I will say there's no doubt where the power advantage lies here tonight.

Black Cat vaults over the ring steps just as Troglo lunges to grab him, sending the Neanderthal toppling over the steel.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*As Black Cat is catching his breath Troglo is incensed with rage and malice and gets up*

Troglo: TROGLO... ANGRY!!!

LeRay: Uh-oh...

*Troglo grabs Black Cat and throws him back in the ring*

[Omega Satyros]

Black Cat scrambles to his feet as Troglo makes his way back into the ring. He ducks between the ropes onto the apron, his reflexes alone saving him from the brutal blows Troglo attempts to inflict.

Beeman: You see, that's the knowledge of a champion, he knows he's defending his belt tomorrow night, and is saving himself for the match that matters.

LeRay: If Troglo manages to catch him, Black Cat might not make it to tomorrow night. I'm not sure JWA has seen him this infuriated.

Black Cat manages to dodge another attack, landing a kick to the dome on Troglo in response. The Neanderthal staggers as Black Cat goes for a springboard hurricanrana. Troglo halts his momentum, falling forward, crushing Black Cat.

LeRay: That's all she wrote. Black Cat might've lost a few ribs in that one.

Beeman: Damnit, how'd Troglo even get approved for in ring work if he's going to act like this?

[Thumper Moore III]

Arizona is backstage with Honest Sal.

SAL: Champ, it seems pretty obvious that your destiny is to face Winter Hex for that JWA Championship in her bid to become the first ever woman to hold that belt.

ARIZONA: Well, Sal, technically Veronica has held it a few times if it needs to be moved somewhere in the house, but I get what you’re saying.

SAL: Like when she’s cleaning up the house like a good wo—

ARIZONA: Sal, my goodness, man. Normally you wait until the end to put your foot in your mouth. Jeez. I’m gonna do this one solo.

Arizona grabs the microphone from Sal and the camera focuses on him.

ARIZONA: Winter, I’m gonna make you a proposal.

SAL (off camera): Oh ho, I didn’t know you were into polygamy!

ARIZONA (glares off camera): I’m gonna be quick before this clown says anything else stupid. That proposal is this: you pick anyone from your group of fun guys, and I pick someone else. They wrestle, and the winner picks the stipulation for our title match. Congrats, Sal, you managed to get through this without insulting women for a third time. Listen, I’m going to Kip. You need help, bro. Let’s get you some education or counseling or something.

[Omega Satyros]

Earlier in the show, Omega is joined by Toni Cruise out in the ring.

Toni: First off, I have to say I'm surprised you're out here without the rest of Domination Inc.

Omega: Well, Red and Arizona seem to think I'm hiding behind championship pedigree in this group.

Toni: Speaking of Arizona, word from some students suggest he had some biting critique of your Mania promo that he was more than happy to share with the JWA Academy.

Omega: I believe it was Shaw who said "Those who can do, those who can't teach." I'm not sure how much I agree with his conclusion, but I will say he ought to focus more on the next challenger on his plate than the next generation of JWA, I doubt he'll be around to see it, especially as long as C-list Hollywood blockbummers keep calling his name. Isn't Sundial of Fate still in limbo? Or did it come out to all the zero fanfare it deserves so I just missed it?

Toni: Well, Arizona seems to be doing just that, laying down that challenge to Winter, what direction do you think that match will go in?

Omega: Toni, there's no one on this roster that Arizona could pick who'd be a match for any member of Domination Inc. But enough about Arizona, I'm not out here for Arizona, I'm out here to address the Swashbuckling Bozo and Bumbling, Stumbling DOOM. I get why neither of them have had anything to say since The Alpha and Omega put them in their place during the trios match last week. But at some point I'd be embarrassed to be them, sat back hiding away while the guy who's solely responsible for them even getting their shot at those tag belts shows up on screen and runs down every way they're doomed to drop the belts when they grow even half a spine to come out here and accept the match. That is if they can even walk after the beating they got last week.

Toni: Very strong words for the tag champs...

[Duke Mongoose]

*Prior to the main event*

(Honest Sal is backstage standing in front of a JWA banner)

Honest Sal: Fans, please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose.

(Duke steps into the shot, wearing a hot pink and lime green track suit. The color combination wreaks havoc on the television cameras)

Sal: Duke, no word yet from Penguino regarding your challenge.

Duke: SALLY BOY! It shouldn't be a surprise that ever since he got that cheap victory over me that Penguino hasn't shown his face around here. That's because he KNOWS that he can't beat me in a fair fight. Everyone watching saw that if it weren't for that buffoon Johnny Kobra I would have won that match.

Sal: It really seems like your issues are with Kobra and not Penguino.

Duke: I treated Penguino like a son, Sally Boy. A SON! But that karate clown just kept sticking his nose in our business. So yeah, I've got issues with Kobra, but Penguino was the one who claimed he carried our team and that just cannot stand! I want another shot at bird boy but I want to make sure that Kobra can't get involved. You hear that, Penguino? I want Kobra in a shark cage above the ring!

Sal: That's quite the challenge. I guess we'll wait and see if Penguino accepts.

Duke: He'll accept. I know him better than he knows himself. He was my boy, after all.

Sal: Mick & Sean, back to you!

(Duke poses aggressively and whacks Sal in the back of the head on accident as the shot fades to ringside)

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

(setting: Patsy's Pretty Manicure)

Winter is sitting on a chair (obviously in a B&W filter) when the cameras are on her and from off screen Bruce The Butler can be heard shouting

Bruce: Action!

Winter jumps into action and looks directly into the camera

Winter: We all heard the announcement from Arizona Chance. He choses someone, I choose another, winner chooses the stipulation for our match. And it all sounds fine and dandy to me. Gives me more time to prepare for my history making moment of winning the JWA World Championship. While you will have to take the time to scour through the JWA roster, desperate to find a friend that doesn't want your championship, I on the other hand shall not have any worries at all. I have Domination Inc. by my side and I'm sure any one of them wouldn't mind to face whoever lose you pick. Even is they're busy that night, I'm already popular within the roster and I can easily find someone and it won't cost me $500 dollars like last time. I'll have Bruce work that out while I continue my training... what's my training you may ask? Well it just so happens that I am training right now.

The cameras pull back to show her getting a manicure by some employees

Winter: These helpful ladies are going to make me look absolutely gorge when the Super Glory cameras take a look at this face. I've trusted this place ever since I laid my eyes open, it's been open since the glory days of 1924 and it's been the best manicure place that's ever survived through this hellific modern era. No matter what the stipulation is for our match Mr. Chance It'll end with my cooking with gas while you'll end up being a wannabe doll dizzy who can't even cut a rug... a dead hoofer I mean. Read the hierarchy, I am a glitterati and you're a fat head. Now if you excuse me, I'll be continue my training.

Bruce: CUT!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Troglo grins sadistically as he has the upper hand*

Beeman: Oh god what is he planning

LeRay: We'll find out soon...

*Troglo takes Mr. Troglo from his loincloth sniffs him and mockingly plugs his nose and starts squealing as he locks Black Cat in the Larynx Grip and sets up for his next move*


Beeman: Oh god..

Troglo: TROGLO SMASH!!!!!! *while having Black Cat locked in the Larnyx Grip he gives him a Prehistoric Piledriver*

LeRay: Troglo Smash indeed!

Troglo: *sits on Black Cat's chest for the pin*

[Red Pirate Rogers]

May 15, 2024 6:36:14 GMT -5 Omega Satyros said:

Earlier in the show, Omega is joined by Toni Cruise out in the ring.


Omega: Toni, there's no one on this roster that Arizona could pick who'd be a match for any member of Domination Inc. But enough about Arizona, I'm not out here for Arizona, I'm out here to address the Swashbuckling Bozo and Bumbling, Stumbling DOOM. I get why neither of them have had anything to say since The Alpha and Omega put them in their place during the trios match last week. But at some point I'd be embarrassed to be them, sat back hiding away while the guy who's solely responsible for them even getting their shot at those tag belts shows up on screen and runs down every way they're doomed to drop the belts when they grow even half a spine to come out here and accept the match. That is if they can even walk after the beating they got last week.

Toni: Very strong words for the tag champs...

A cannon fire and the first bass beat of MF Doom sound and Red Pirate Rogers emerges from the back with a microphone in hand. A moment later DOOM joins him, a little tangled in his cape, but able to switch eye patches to give Omega a mean mug...then switches again to give an even meaner mug!

RPR: Hi, I'm Bozo...(laugh)...and I've already forgotten more about this business than you'll even learn my goat-legged rival.

(Fans laugh)

RPR: One thing I've forgotten...who in the world is responsible for us getting a shot at the tag belts if not ourselves? Is Kip Whistler mocking us? Do the Lethal Lottery balls run a satirical newspaper? We won the shot at the title the same way anyone here wins anything: with a good dose of luck...when preparation meets opportunity.

(Fans ooh)

RPR: You, and your dubious LLC, undoubtedly put us through our paces last week, I have no qualms about saying you deserve your opportunity, and I'm sure you'll be prepared...but so will we...(cheers)...DOOM, would you do the honors?

DOOM: Cook it, Bip!!! (Rogers leans over and whispers) I mean...BOOK IT, KIP!

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

May 15, 2024 9:05:02 GMT -5 Red Pirate Rogers said:

DOOM: I mean...BOOK IT, KIP!

We transition to a monitor backstage where the rest of Domination, Inc watch the interaction between Omega and The Pirates Of DOOM. A smile breaks over Conor Caine's face. He turns to Mack and Winter...

CAINE: They took the bait, haha! It's only a matter of time now before Domination Inc is certified with gold, and the Championships around here can have a little prestige again.

[Omega Satyros]

May 15, 2024 9:05:02 GMT -5 Red Pirate Rogers said:

DOOM: Cook it, Bip!!! (Rogers leans over and whispers) I mean...BOOK IT, KIP!

Omega: Perfect.

Omega strolls past DOOM and Red, who are a bit flabbergasted at how brazen he is. He stops just before leaving the stage, turning to Red.

Omega: I figured you'd retain that "discipline." At this point, I wonder if you've been on the receiving end of so many sneak attacks that you can't conceive of a preemptive strike anymore. Now, I have one more thing planned tonight.

May 15, 2024 8:57:26 GMT -5 Pierre The Enormous said:

Troglo: *sits on Black Cat's chest for the pin*

"Andromeda" hits and Omega walks out, looking to talk with Troglo.

Omega: Hey, big guy, I wish I could've gotten a more convenient time, but I just wanted to talk. You understand I did what I had to do to keep Diablo from bringing all of us down in his vortex of mediocre failure.