JWA Glory Episode 188 - Lady Diana Gallus vs. Jessie Aldean

[Kip Whistler]

Posting a bit early as some real life things might prevent an otherwise timely post

Greetings, grapple fans!

Tonight we find out who will be next to challenge Daisy Turner for the Women's World Championship coming up at Super Glory. Will it be the former champion, "The Mean Queen" Jessie Aldean? Has her recent training with Chief Buffalo been enough to get her on track to regaining the title? Or will it be the newcomer, Lady Diana Gallus? We know very little about her, other than that she is competing in Artemis' stead. It will be difficult for Aldean to prepare for an opponent she's never seen before, but as we all know anything can happen in this crazy sport of ours! Who will be the next challenger? We're about to find out!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Does our Women's World Champion Daisy Turner have any thoughts regarding tonight's main event? We hope to be joined by the champion during the show.

Last week's result means that both "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex AND Arizona Chance will get to choose stipulations for their upcoming World Heavyweight Championship match at Super Glory. What kind of scenario that will result in is anybody's guess!

Domination, Inc. still hasn't declared exactly which two of their members will challenge The Pirates OF DOOM for the World Tag Team Championship at Super Glory, but we know that next week it will be "Relentless" Conor Caine taking on Red Pirate Rogers in a preview battle. I mentioned it previously, but any combination of Dom Inc.'s members would be a threat to Rogers and DOOM. Is next week's match part of a larger plot to get the champions off balance?

I made it official over the weekend, but at Super Glory Duke Mongoose will face off with his former tag partner Penguino in a match where Penguino's coach/trainer/confidant Johnny Kobra will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage. Duke says this is the only way to get a fair match against Penguino. We expect to hear from all the participants during tonight's broadcast.

I don't think I'm reaching to say that the issues between Troglo & Pierre The Enormous and The Black Cat & "The Closer" Omega Satyros are far from over.

We still don't know what "Lord" Taylor Thorin is planning, but at least he's been showing up to the Studio on a regular basis.

Let's get this show underway. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Troglo and I are at Killie's training in his room by punching kegs as hard as we can*

Troglo: *lets out several intense grunts and breaks through several kegs*

Pierre: *I do the same and smash some kegs*

Huggy: You got this guys

Pierre: Thanks Huggy *I give him a headpat*

Troglo: TROGLO... SMASH... PUNY... KEG!!!!!!!! *he bearhugs a keg till it breaks and thumps his chest when it does*

Pierre: *I thump my chest with him*

["Lord" Taylor Thorin]

Another show, another Rolls Royce pulls up at the JWA Arena.  Once again, Tembleberry is first out and as usual opens the door for Lord Thorin.

Thorin is again dressed impeccably and now sports a cane which he twirls as he walks.  Thorin is not alone this week though, as 2 women and a man, all dressed in suits and all carrying briefcases, also exit the car.

As Thorin turns to head for the VIP box, he pauses and turns to the 3.

"Be sure Whistler gets all of the details.  This will be my final offer."

The 3 bow slightly then head off in the direction of Kip Whistler's office as Thorin and Tembleberry head up to the VIP box.

[Artemis]

"Run The World" by Beyonce sounds off and cheers fill the arena as Lady Diana Gallus makes her way down to the ring.

LeRay: Hard to believe she's Artemis's right-hand woman when she's this good with the fans.

Beeman: I don't buy it. There's something going on. I remember Artemis's vignette last week. Her so-called closest confidant must've done something to lock Artemis up.

LeRay: Honestly, what is it with you and conspiracies around the Hellenists on the roster. There always has to be some scheme around them.

Beeman: Fine, don't believe me, be embarrassed when the truth comes out.

LeRay: Sure...

[Omega Satyros]

Toni: My guest at this time, "The Closer" Omega Satyros. Omega, do you think we could get any hints on which members of Domination Inc. will be going up against the Pirates of DOOM at Super Glory?

Omega: Have I not be clear the past 2+ weeks? Mack Caliber's focus right now is on making sure Winter Hex properly puts Arizona Chance in his place. For two weeks I've said it's The Alpha and Omega. Me and Conor Caine. The only reason Conor isn't out here right now is because he's preparing for his match next week.

Toni: Is that so? Most of the rumor mill has been a buzz about a potential matchup with you and Black Cat taking on Troglo and Pierre.

Omega: Well that's too damn bad. Troglo and Pierre can wait their turn. I'm busy with Domination Inc. and taking out Red Pirate Rogers and DOOM. As seen on Mania, Black Cat and his Black-Fang Clan will be busy taking out Southern Tropic over in AOE. Domination Inc. can pencil in their decimation sometime down the road, but for now, they'll just have to mind their own business over at Killie's, drinking away the twilight of their careers while we clear out the rest of their compatriots who should've hung up the boots decades ago.

Toni: So at Super Glory, it'll officially be you and Conor Caine against Red Pirate Rogers and The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM.

Omega: Yes. And DOOM really should learn to keep Rogers on a leash or something online. He's going off on Chirpy asking for a match that will do nothing but leave him battered, bruised, and ill-prepared to face the full force of Domination Inc. But I do thank Red for making our win at Super Glory all the more assured.

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

Jolene’s reply plays and Jessie Aldean walks to the ring.

She gives Diana Gallus a death stare until the bell rings when she charges straight ahead. Diana avoids her and Jessie jumps to the second rope and turns into a cross body that knocks Diana to the ground but only gets a 1 count

[Artemis]

LeRay: It's not going to be that easy for Jessie Aldean.

Beeman: Does Diana think she stands a proper chance against the Queen of JWA?

LeRay: I'd say she stands a chance.

Jessie is the first to her feet. She's charging to bring a double axhandle to Diana, but Diana manages to roll out of the way. Diana hits the ropes for momentum in a swift lariat to the Queen. She begins to deliver brutal knees to Jessie's left arm.

LeRay: Looking to soften her up for the Armbar.

Beeman: With the amount Jessie's been training with Chief Buffalo, I can't imagine a practical newcomer being able to outpower the former and rightful champion.

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy not wanting to disrupt this match sneaks her way into the arena, makes sure no one sees her, does a spy roll around ringside, hiding next to the apron, oop, accidentally hit her head on the stairs but brushes it off (hopefully no one saw that), and then she makes a beeline for the commentary desk

Beeman: Aaaah! What the hell are you doing here

LeRay: I suppose we have an impromptu guest here at the commentary table, please welcome our JWA Women's World Champion, Daisy Turner!

Daisy: Yes yes! Thank you for having me so unexpectedly. I just came by to watch this awesome match

Beeman: Impromptu guest? Is this even allowed? Surely this is not.

LeRay: Oh c'mon Sean, we've had Winter Hex have unexpected appearances. But anywho, Daisy, now that you are here right now. If you were to choose any one of these two to challenge you for the Women's World Championship. Who would it be?

Daisy: Oh mick, that's a toughie right there. You see Diana seems nice, she seems like a person I can trust besides all the things that my bandmates have said, plus she's a new challenger. I'm always happy and ready to see new challengers however on the other hand, her opponent already has an impressive resume. She's one of the few on the Women's Roster that has actually beaten me and as a bonus, taken this championship away from me. They are both perfect candidates, I don't even know who to choose, that's why I'll prefer to just sit back, relax and enjoy what is going to be an awesome match.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

[Earlier in the show]

We come back from commercial break to find Conor Caine in the ring, dressed in a half-buttoned, blood red shirt, black trousers and well-polished shoes. Sunglasses and gold jewelry complete his new look.

CAINE: Red Pirate Rogers wants to talk about respect? Okay! Rogers, when you were champion I chased you for months: match after match, my attempts to take your title were thwarted by a paragon of this sport operating at the top of his game. Each time you retained the belt over me, my respect for you grew. I knew that, because I respected you more than anybody could, I was the only person in the JWA who could recognise what an honour it would be to put the best damn JWA Champion we'd ever had down for the one, two, three. And it was an honour, one of the greatest of my career, and for that I thank you.

LERAY: He's... grateful?!
BEEMAN: What? That doesn't jive with your black and white view of the world??

A "Thank you, Rogers!" chants break out, and even a round of applause for Conor's apparent humility.

CAINE: But where the hell did you go after that? You never came back to challenge me to a rematch? You didn't want to test your mettle against the man who dethroned you? Not in all the months I was champion did you even haphazardly fall into the title picture! You lost your belt, tucked your tail and ran away... how the hell do you expect me to respect that?!

The fans turn on Conor again, their boos spiked with resentment at having been taken in by him moments earlier. For his part, Conor laughs at them.

CAINE: So no Rogers, I don't have a shred of respect for you, and if I don't respect the man I thought was the best Champion we had, how do you expect me to afford any respect for the rest of those frauds in the back?! I reserve all my respect for my fellow members of Domination Inc and for them I have it in spades, but all I have for you in spades is some grade A ass-kicking! You want to face me one on one again? You want me to expose you in front of these jeering jabronis by beating you up and down this studio? Is that what you popcorn crunching, jaw-jacking morons want to see?!

The fans voice their affirmative with a deafening chant for Red Pirate Rogers.

CAINE: Well it's a case of tough titty in Slackjaw City because you aren't getting that match!

The Rogers chant returns to boos, which pleases Conor greatly.

CAINE: I don't expect you goldfish out here to have the capacity to remember, so I'll refresh you. Some weeks back, Kip Whistler decided the medical expertise of my physician - the esteemed Doctor Zamboni - wasn't enough to grant me full medical clearance to compete, and he only gave me a 60 day certificate. For the temporally challenged, that 60 days ran out last week so I'm currently, officially, not cleared to compete. So there'll be no Caine Vs Rogers rematch next week! Sorry, jabronis!

The boos turn to "B******t!" Chants as trash starts to rain down on Caine, who only laughs harder at the fans.

CAINE: However, the esteemed Dr Zamboni will make himself available to JWA officials to discuss clearing me ahead of the Tag Title match at Super Glory, where you can all pay good money to watch myself and "The Closer," Omega Satyros, beat the crap out of Red Pirate Rogers and his first mate, The Professional Wrestler of DOOM, for their tag team titles. And let this be a lesson to Rogers, Kip Whistler and the slovenly majority out here: you're all playing by Domination Inc rules now.

Caine drops the mic and walks out to boos so loud they drown out his music.

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

Jessie winces as Lady Gallus grabs her arm and twists, Jessie twists two trying to reach and scratch or slap her opponent but the newcomer is too quick, then as she readjusts her feet Jessie strains herself to use the twisted arm for a whip, breaking the hold. Jessie hits a returning Diana with a standing drop kick but lands on her sore left arm.

[Kip Whistler]

LeRay: I understand there's something going on in the back. Do we have a camera there?

(The shot turns to a picture-in-picture as the match continues. We see Conor Caine being confronted by Kip Whistler)

Caine: Tough luck, boss. My probational medical clearance is up! Looks like you'll need another main event for next week.

Kip: You are correct, the 60 days are up. However, as the man who granted the 60 day period, I can also extend it if I so choose. Now, I've announced a match featuring "Relentless" Conor Caine for next week and I plan to deliver on that. So your probational medical clearance is hereby extended INDEFINITELY!

(Caine becomes visibly irate as Kip walks out of the shot and the shot returns to just the match)

Beeman: Can Whistler do that? What about the health and safety of his competitors?

LeRay: Caine weaseled his way into being cleared and now Whistler is using it against him! Turnabout is fair play!

Beeman: Ahh fooey!

[Duke Mongoose]

*Prior to the main event*

Honest Sal: Please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose.

(Fans boo as Duke struts his way into the JWA Studio. Duke is wearing a shirt that reads "Shark Weak" with a poorly photoshopped picture of Johnny Kobra inside a cage)

Sal: Duke, it looks like you got what you wanted. At Super Glory you'll face Penguino with Johnny Kobra suspended above the ring in a shark cage.

Duke: Sally Boy! Was there ever any doubt? Now we're going to settle things, once and for all, in a fair fight.

Sal: I don't mean to be negative, but what happens if Penguino defeats you?

Duke: Consarnit, Sal! Don't put that out into the universe! Big Daddy Duke, the man with the superior exterior, is clearly the better professional wrestler and at Super Glory I'm going to prove it! I'll say it again that anyone with functioning eyes in their head could see that the only reason bird boy got the win last time was because of Johnny Kobra, and at Super Glory he's not going to be a factor. Penguino, boy, you're in for a whoopin'! Sally Boy, call your grandmother! This interview is over!

(Duke poses obnoxiously as he leaves the podium)

Sal: We'll find out who the superior wrestler is at Super Glory. Now let's send it back to Mick and Sean!

[Artemis]

Diana and Jessie make their way to their feet. Jessie lands a forearm, Diana replies with an elbow. Jessie comes back with a headbutt that knocks Diana to the ground.

Beeman: That's how a queen does it.

Jessie positions Diana for the Alabama Slammer. Diana reverses it into a frankensteiner into a pinning combination. 1. 2. Jessie Aldean kicks out.

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

Diana drops down and wraps on the arm bar again pulling back and making Jessie shout in agony.

Buffalo grabs his walking stick and reaches through to bonk Diana on the head, but the ref sees it and admonishes him. While he backs up, Jessie looks like she's tapping out and Diana breaks the hold. The ref turns back to see Diana standing looking for the hand raise, but gets nothing, when Jessie sneaks up and pulls a surprise roll up!

1...2....kick out at 2.85, Diana gets up while Jessie winces as she holds her arm.

[Artemis]

Diana makes her way to her feet, planting Jessie with a DDT before locking in the Phalanx Maneuver (Disarm-Her/reverse armbar). Chief Buffalo has to just sit and watch as Jessie writhes in agony before tapping out. Lady Diana breaks the hold and has her arm raised in victory.

LeRay: Absolutely brutal submission from Lady Diana Gallus.

Beeman: Great, Super Glory just got more tedious. We could've seen a wrongly deposed Queen retake her throne, but instead we get Artemis's pencil-pushing pretender going up against Daisy Turner playing edgy punk.