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Post by Kip Whistler on Jun 4, 2024 17:16:10 GMT -5
Greetings, grapple fans!
Tonight's main event was advertised as being "Relentless" Conor Caine against one half of the World Tag Team Champions Red Pirate Rogers in a Super Glory preview battle. However, on JWA Mania over the weekend, Caine took it upon himself to attack Rogers after a match and leave him on the shelf for this week. This was done in retaliation to me, of all people, because Caine attempted to use his probationary medical clearance to dodge tonight's match. He assured us all that he would get clearance for the match at Super Glory, however. Now, it was obvious that something sinister was going on, so I extended Caine's probationary medical clearance indefinitely. Unfortunately, that means that Caine attempted to injure one half of our World Tag Team Champions. I've been told by our crack medical team that Rogers won't miss Super Glory, but he won't be able to compete tonight. I won't allow Caine to get away with this, and so a suitable replacement for Rogers has decided to step up: The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM! That's right, Rogers' tag team champion partner will be going one on one with Caine in a preview of their upcoming championship match next week. With Caine in the ring, you know that the rest of Domination, Inc. is likely to be nearby. Will "The Debonair" Mack Caliber or "The Closer" Omega Satyros get involved? I suppose there's only one way to find out.
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
Next week is Super Glory, headlined by a World Heavyweight Championship match pitting "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex against the champion Arizona Chance. Winter is looking to become the first female World Heavyweight Champion in JWA history. Since the match between Mack Caliber and Bad Luck Bradley ended in a draw, that means that both Winter and Arizona get to select a stipulation for the match. We anticipate the reveal of what those stipulations will be here tonight.
Also at Super Glory the Women's World Championship will be on the line when Daisy Turner defends against JWA newcomer Lady Diana Gallus. Despite being affiliated with Artemis, Lady Diana how shown none of the traits or characteristics we've come to associate with "The Huntress". Can we expect a fair, in-ring contest? Or is there something more devious lurking just beneath the surface?
With Johnny Kobra suspended above the ring, Duke Mongoose is looking to get a measure of revenge against his former tag partner Penguino next week. While it seems unusual for Duke to be requesting a "fair fight", you can't argue that Kobra was instrumental in Penguino's victory in their last encounter. We expect to hear from Duke, as well as Penguino and Kobra, during the broadcast.
In two weeks, right here on Glory, we are going to have a special tag team match. It'll be Pierre The Enormous & Troglo against Omega Satyros & The Black Cat. This match stems from incidents that took place during the match between Troglo & Cat a few weeks back. I wanted to give all four individuals an opportunity to settle whatever issues remain between them.
Let's get this show underway. Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jun 4, 2024 19:57:53 GMT -5
Wink: Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for our MAIN EVENT! The following singles match is scheduled for one fall!
The arena darks and cannons fire as “Accordion” plays and The Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOM explodes into the stage, sweating profusely with his trademark patch over his Lucha mask. He looks to the left, then to the right. He holds his rapier up high then looks to both sides again before pausing. He turns around completely, doing a slow 360. Then again, faster. Then he spins around four more times in a row, getting faster each time before staggering, steadying himself. He drops the sword and puts his hands out as if to steady himself.
Beeman: LeRay… what is this man doing?
LeRay: Sean. I believe he is looking for his partner.
Wink: Introducing first, he is one half of the JWA Tag Team Champions, the Pirates of DOOM! From parts unknowns, weighing in at 467 pounds. He is the Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
As if reminded of what is happening, DOOM bolts toward the ring as always. He makes it pretty close before stopping. He looks around for a beverage. He looks over his shoulder to be sure Rogers is not here to admonish him. He crinkles his mouth slightly, considering the right thing to do. Then he snatches a cup from a teenage girl and guzzles it down before continuing into the ring, and leaving heavily on the ropes for support.
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Jun 4, 2024 23:13:56 GMT -5
*Troglo lets out a roar upon hearing the news of the match being made official*
Pierre: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!
Troglo: *punches my belly*
Pierre: I take it you want to train?
Troglo: *grunts and nods*
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Jun 4, 2024 23:38:10 GMT -5
Prior to the main event…
A table is set up in the ring. At one end sits Kip Whistler, with a briefcase in front of him.
The arena lights go dark, and Hysteria by Muse begins to play. Arizona is silhouetted in a spotlight as the guitar kicks in, and the arena lights shine bright when the full band joins. Arizona heads to the ring, and he grabs a microphone.
“Well, JWA fans, Mr. Whistler: it looks like you’re going to get your first ever intergender title match. And frankly, I’m all for it. How can I call myself the World Champion if half the world is unable to compete for it? Society has taught us men some conflicting messages about women, and unlike some people around here— I’m looking at you Sal, and good for you for getting sensitivity training— I believe that competition should be a meritocracy for all genders.
Now, with that out of the way: Winter Hex, the Reminiscer: I have some things I’d like to say when you come out here, but I’ve been informed that as Bad Luck Bradley and Mack Caliber wrestled to a draw, Kip has asked that we both submit our ideas for the match stipulation and he will decide which one makes the most sense. Kip, on this paper is my preference. Now then. Winter, we await your presence.”
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jun 5, 2024 0:53:01 GMT -5
Then he snatches a cup from a teenage girl and guzzles it down before continuing into the ring, and leaving heavily on the ropes for support. I still can’t believe, after taking Rogers out, Whistler has given us DOOM to injure too. Super Glory’s gonna be a cake walk, brother! You stay here in case the pirate shows up and I’ll take care of his partner! “Cheat Code” by Sage Francis hits and Conor Caine walks through the curtain to a shower of boos and trash.LERAY: These people are letting Conor Caine know what they think of his despicable antics on Mania this past weekend! BEEMAN: “These people” are making fools of themselves, showing that they can’t recognize greatness in their midst! Caine has made it to the ring, mocking fans for being upset about his attack on Red Pirate Rogers on the way. Inside, he climbs a turnbuckle and continues to jeer at them before stepping down and confronting DOOM in the middle of the ring: Conor puffs up his chest and gets in DOOM’s face, spewing a tirade of vitriol at one half of the tag team champions. Referee Panther Haberdashery has to step between them.LERAY: Conor Caine is grotesque! This guy used to believe in sportsmanship and now he’s out here acting like a schoolyard bully! BEEMAN: Winners use every tool in their arsenal, Mick! And mind games and intimidation tactics are completely valid! LERAY: They might be, but I don’t have to like it! The Professional Wrestler of DOOM looks visible uneasy as Haberdashery calls for the bell. BEEMAN: Aw, he’s probably still dizzy from all that spinning around! There’s the bell, let’s get this one over with already, Conor! |
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Jun 5, 2024 3:59:41 GMT -5
Now then. Winter, we await your presence.” "Crazy" by Patsy Cline plays and here comes "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex all over the top and dramatic as always, she struts her way to the ring before rolling in and grabbing a microphone Winter: Mr. Chance, it's so nice of you to recognise the talent that come from us women, that I can easily take that JWA World Championship away from you just like any other man. Dare do I say, better than some of the men on this roster. and yes, while I was taking some rest and relaxation I did see the outcome to our little gambling match. It was a draw and so I had ready a little piece of paper and inside that piece is the exact stipulation I want for our match as Super Glory. BRUCE! she snaps her fingers and Bruce takes the piece of paper out of her pocket and places it in front of her Winter: Here have a read of it. this is the exact stipulation I want and you cannot change my mind. I won't go through a re-negotiation, I am sticking with this choice. |
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jun 5, 2024 5:14:21 GMT -5
The bell rings and before DOOM can even prepare himself Conor facepalms him and starts laying in big right hands to the head.
LERAY: A poor showing from Conor Caine to start the bout and forcing DOOM back to the ropes with stiff punches!
DOOM falls back into the ropes and grabs the top one for support but Conor keeps wailing on him, forcing DOOM along the rope to the corner where he continues his assault.
LERAY: A series of shoulder blocks to the midsection soften DOOM up—
BEEMAN: He’s already pretty soft around the midsection.
LERAY: SEAN BEEMAN!!!
Caine follows up with some knife edge chops across the chest: even despite the mask and eyepatch, the fans can read the pain on DOOM’s face.
LERAY: DOOM can’t get started at all as Conor continues his relentless assault! He whips DOOM to the opposite corner— but DOOM falls down three-quarters of the way there! Caine shows no hesitation: he runs to the ropes nearest doom and - OW! - a springboard off the second rope and he turns in the air to bring a knee down across the back of DOOM’s neck.
Conor stands over DOOM, laying flat on his back now, and takes a second to think…
LERAY: Rather than going for a pin after that opening salvo, Caine is lifting DOOM up to a seat position on the mat. He hits the ropes again… NECKSNAP ON DOOM!!!
BEEMAN: I feel the urge to call my chiropractor and I was just watching that move!
LERAY: This is a very sinister and brutal strategy from Conor Caine: is he wanting to do nothing more than wear DOOM down ahead of next week’s tag title match??
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Post by Artemis on Jun 5, 2024 5:30:15 GMT -5
About midway through the show.
Sal: My guest at this time, Lady Diana Gallus. Diana, how are you feeling going into next week's title match against Daisy Turner?
Diana: I've seen what Daisy can do in this ring; I've had the honor of communicating with her, although only briefly, but I look forward to giving the fans a worthwhile performance.
Sal: We look forward to seeing it. Any updates on how Artemis is doing?
Diana: No updates at this time, and I ask that everyone respect her privacy as she's taking this break to re-find herself.
Sal: But what about that promo we saw a few wee-
Diana: She's on the mend, and while there's currently no timetable for her return, I appreciate the well-wishes and look forward to eventually celebrating a title win with her.
Sal: So, you're sure you'll pick up the win against Daisy then?
Diana: I'm sure I have the ability to win, and next week I test Daisy's ability to defend her title for the first time since her punk-rock attitude change.
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jun 5, 2024 8:07:28 GMT -5
Caine sends DOOM back into the corner and a sinister grin overcome his face. He takes a few deliberate steps and lays a large stomp into DOOM’s gut, prompting an almost unreal and powerful stream of red liquid to launch out of DOOM’s mouth and directly into Caine’s face. Connor doubles back, attempting to wipe the spewage from his face while it is still firing upon him.
Beeman: is this giant fool spraying red mist right before the ref’s eyes? Disqualify him, Haberdashery!
LeRay: I am not certain, Sean, and Panther Haberdashery is certainly inspecting the fluid. But I do believe that is fruit punch from the cup DOOM borrowed from the young lady at ringside.
Beeman: FRUIT PUNCH?! It’s still illegal! And… how did he have that in his mouth for the first five minutes of this match while Connor was beating the hell out of him?
Connor Caine now slips and falls in the absurd amount of fruit punch that has filled the center of the ring. DOOM hoists himself up out o the corner, looking around, confused. He switches his eyepatch from left to right and let’s put a huge belch. Then he delivers a mammoth splash of DOOM onto Connor, and gets a two count as every bit of air escapes Caine’s lungs.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jun 5, 2024 9:53:35 GMT -5
LERAY: Before Caine can get up, DOOM hits him with an elbow drop! Another two count. BEEMAN: No fair! The way he switches that eyepatch around it's like Conor Caine is wrestling two guys! DOOM helps Caine off the mat but Conor has smeared his hand in the regurgitated fruit punch; as he gets to his feet he rubs the gunk in DOOM's face, focusing on his exposed eye.LERAY: Caine is trying to blind DOOM with that beverage! BEEMAN: I thought the juice was fair play?! Haberdashery admonishes Caine for the tactic but Conor retorts (in bad faith) that it's not his fault there's fruit punch on his hand, it's all over the ring! Conor berates Haberdashery telling him to clean it up. The ref looks around flummoxed and starts trying to sweep the liquid off the mat with his foot.LERAY: While the official is dristracted Conor's taking advantage of the blinded DOOM!
Conor clubs DOOM over the back of the head with forearms. The fans turn the air blue with chants about Caine, who takes DOOM to the corner and throws him shoulder first into the ringpost.
BEEMAN: I think DOOM is stuck between the ropes!
LERAY: You're right, and Conor is using that - and the fact that the referee is distracted- to climb to the apron and choke DOOM out!
Haberdashery turns to see Conor choking DOOM in a guillotine hold. Conor claims that DOOM is stuck and asks Haberdashery to help move him.
LERAY: This is ridiculous! Haberdashery is trying to drag DOOM back into the ring while Conor keeps the chokehold locked in: in effect, the referee is helping Conor to illegally choke his opponent!
BEEMAN: Haberdashery is just being a good minion of Domination Inc, as we all should aim to be!
Just as Panther realizes what's going on, Caine shoves DOOM into the ring with such force that DOOM falls back on to the ref, knocking him unconscious.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Jun 5, 2024 11:39:19 GMT -5
(Honest Sal is standing backstage in front of a JWA banner with Duke Mongoose)
Sal: Duke, next week at Super Glory you've said that you're going to defeat Penguino in a fair fight. What do you have to say to all the skeptics out there?
Duke: SALLY BOY! To all the skep... skes... speks... can we start over?
Sal: We're live, pal.
Duke: You'll get your answers next week!
(Duke storms out of the shot, frustrated and embarassed)
Sal: Mick, Sean, back to you!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jun 5, 2024 12:05:39 GMT -5
BEEMAN: The referee is out and Conor Caine has a mean glint in his eye! LERAY: He climbs to the top turnbuckle from the outside and lands a diving knee to the gut of DOOM. BEEMAN: And DOOM is still on Haberdashery, so the ref is doubly knocked out! LERAY: While I completely reject your medical hypothesis I can't deny that it looks like this match will be without an official for some time - and I dread to think what Conor Caine has in mind for DOOM! Conor lays a couple if good stomps to the head of DOOM before raising him and running off the ropes to hit the staggering luchador with a codebreaker.LERAY: DOOM stumbles back and trips over Haberdashery, he's fallen into the ringropes and gotten tied up!
The fans go crazy, booing and cursing Caine as he stomps repeated mudholes in DOOM - stopping only occasionally to slap his opponent in the face.
LERAY: I can't state enough how abhorrent this new version of Conor Caine is! He bounces off the opposite ropes and comes at DOOM with a huge clothesline that knocks both men over the top rope.
Conor lands and rolls with the momentum to crash into the barricade but DOOM lands in the most curious manner...
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jun 5, 2024 12:16:49 GMT -5
Beeman: How did that gigantic jabroni land on his feet?
LeRay: I have no idea but DOOM is indeed standing, and not moving one bit.
DOOM stands stiff as a board from the waist down, attempting to look over his shoulders to find his opponent, with no success. He switches his eye patch once. Then again.
Connor Caine rises and wastes no time blasting DOOM with a clothesline, which doesn’t budge DOOM at all. Caine steps back and delivers a tremendous boot to DOOM, which also does nothing at all.
Beeman: LeRay. Is it possible that DOOM is so backwards that instead of being on spaghetti legs, his legs have locked up like iron?
LeRay: I’m not sure if that’s biologically possible, Sean, but it’s as sound a theory as I can surmise right now. And speaking of spaghetti, a frustrated Connor Caine has resorted to grabbing food from the crowd and throwing it at DOOM!
Caine snatches a pretzel from a man in the front row and pelts DOOM with it.
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on Jun 5, 2024 12:34:09 GMT -5
[First segment of the night...before Arizona and Winter Hex]
We see Jessie Aldean pouting and looking from side to side as she marches backstage, she opens a door and starts to rant...
"This is nonsense...that Lady Diana tries to break my arm and gets a reward, that two-bit hussy isn't half the woman I am...and don't even get me started on that name...disrespect the Royal Family much?!? I'll put out her candle in the wind...but they're even making that dream boat DOOM-Y go out and face what's his Caine? I just can't stand it...so...Mr. Manager what are we going to do?"
The camera finally catches Chief Buffalo standing in front of an old school chalk board
"Hang on Jessie. We'll get there, but right now, I'm trying to help somebody figure out how to be a little less awful..." The camera turns to show Sal sitting in a child's sized class desk.
"It's okay, I can take a break, Chief. I know the ladies get emotional when it's that ti--" (Jessie lunges for Sal and he stops speaking, Buffalo stops her and turns to Sal, then raises a fist and smashes the desk into kindling)
"Wanna try that again Sal?"
"Uh....It's okay, Jessie's needs are valid and worth listening to..."
(Chief Buffalo nods) "Better," he picks up the shattered desk and throws it in a corner...with many other broken desks.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jun 5, 2024 13:20:09 GMT -5
Caine snatches a pretzel from a man in the front row and pelts DOOM with it. Pretzel: no effect! A hotdog: no effect! Popcorn: nada! The desperation for Conor Caine is real! CAINE: Fall down you sonovabitch! Caine goes to grab a sub off a fan but she resists. They wrestle back and forth over it.
CAINE: Give it! FAN: No, I brought this from home... With a heave, Caine snatches the sandwich from the woman and hurls it at DOOM.FAN: ... I have food allergies!!!The sub explodes over DOOM but still his legs are stuck stiff! Caine moves to the next fan who has a tray of nachos covered in liquid cheese: this guy also resists but Conor wrenches the tray off him and, as he does, a glob of the cheese splats over DOOM's shoulder...LERAY: Look! DOOM's constitution has changed! He looks terrified! BEEMAN: The cheese! It's the kryptonite to his legs of steel! Conor sees the change too and he walks up to DOOM and cracks him in the face with the tray, and DOOM reacts like he took a chair shot - he stumbles and falls over, his legs finally turned to jelly. Caine drops the nacho tray, looking surprised for just a moment until a wicked smile crosses his face. He turns his attention to another fan holding a cheesey nacho tray. The fan is busy looking at DOOM on the floor, until he feels Caine's gaze upon him. The realization dawns and the fan, mortified, pulls the nacho tray closer to their chest... |
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