JWA SG 06/2024 - Duke Mongoose vs. Penguino

[Kip Whistler]

One Fall - No Time Limit - Johnny Kobra will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage:
Duke Mongoose vs. Penguino

[Duke Mongoose]

("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol plays and the fans erupt in boos as Duke Mongoose struts his way down to the ring)

LeRay: I honestly can't wait to see how this one is going to go. Duke Mongoose claims that he wants a fair fight so he can show everyone he's better than Penguino, but let's be serious: Duke Mongoose doesn't want a fair fight. He just wants to take away Penguino's edge.

Beeman: You wanna say that to Duke's face? I saw how Johnny Kobra got involved the last time and I believe that Duke could have won that match. Tonight Big Daddy Duke is going to prove it to that that bird brain and all of these doubting morons as well, and that includes you, LeRay!

LeRay: Hey!

(Duke stops at the shark cage located at ringside and gives it a cursory inspection. He opens and closes the door, fiddles with the locking mechanism, climbs up and tugs on the cable that is connected to a crane to lift the cage above the ring. After all of this, Duke gives a crewman a thumbs up at ringside and then climbs into the ring and begins his customary obnoxious posing)

LeRay: It would appear that Duke finds the shark cage to his liking, so we shouldn't hear ANY complaints from him during or after this match.

Beeman: What is there to complain about? Duke's going to beat the bird and that'll be the end of it!

LeRay: We now await the arrival of Penguino and Johnny Kobra's ascent into the rafters.

Beeman: I can't wait!

[Penguino]

Penguino and Johnny Kobra head out to the ring to “Stay Vicious” by And The Gaslight Anthem and both go through the usual routine of walking to the ring, and high diving audience members in the front row.

LeRay“It seems that the crowd has picked which side they are on already after that reaction to his appearance.”

Beeman “I guess they came to be disappointed because Duke is going to be the obvious winner without Penguino goon belong to distract the superior animal.”

Johnny Kobra enters the Shark Cage just outside the ring hesitantly and is lifted up 10 feet in the air

LeRay “Well here is how Kobra will be for the remainder of the match and you have to think he’s a little nervous being unable to do anything to help his friend.”

Beeman “Or he’s just afraid of heights like a chicken” *Beeman starts to make clucking sounds*

[Duke Mongoose]

(The bell rings and Duke immediately rakes the eyes of Penguino. The crowd erupts in boos as Duke prances about the ring while referee Rothburn Sallie chastises him)

LeRay: Fair fight my ass!

Beeman: All's fair in love and war, LeRay.

LeRay: Look at Duke, smug look on his face, as he calls for a test of strength. I've got to think this is another trap.

Beeman: Oh come on! Big Daddy Duke is a respected competitor!

(As Penguino moves in to accept the test of strength, Duke kicks him square in the stomach)

LeRay: What did I tell you?

Beeman: What can I say? Mongoose is clearly in charge of this match, and I can't argue with that.

LeRay: Duke sends Penguino across the ring and catches him on the way back with the Running Neckbreaker Drop! Duke puts one foot on the chest of Penguino but only gets a one count.

(Duke reacts as though something landed on his back, and he begins to look around. He then looks up at the shark cage above the ring just in time for Johnny Kobra's spit to land on Duke's forehead)

Beeman: HEY! He's not supposed to be involved!

LeRay: Surely spitting isn't going to influence the outcome of this match.

Beeman: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! Get someone to swing that cage away from the ring!

LeRay: It looks like Duke is echoing your sentiments and it leaves an opening for Penguino to land a big dropkick right between Duke's shoulder blades that sends him reeling!

[Duke Mongoose]

(Duke lands with a thud in the corner, and he turns around just in time to see Penguino come crashing into him with a Stinger Splash)

Beeman: Where's the referee when we need him! Penguino and Kobra are CLEARLY cheating!

LeRay: They most certainly are not. Penguino now lights up Duke's chest with a series of flipper chops! Mongoose's chest is going to look like ground beef before this match is over!

Beeman: C'mon, ref! Where's the count? He's in the corner for Pete's sake!

(Rothburn Sallie begins a five count and upon reaching four Penguino backs off, giving Duke a chance to slip outside the ring to regroup)

LeRay: Duke is trying to catch his breath, but Penguino isn't likely to let up - OH MY! Big plancha by Penguino sends Mongoose into the guardrail!

Beeman: What is going on? Has the world gone mad? How is any of this legal?

LeRay: Penguino continues the assault with more flipper chops! I think he may have drawn blood with the last one!

Beeman: MEDIC!

(Penguino pauses for a moment to look out into the crowd, who are firmly behind him. However, this momentary distraction allows Duke to grab Penguino and drive him beak first into guardrail)

LeRay: Oh dear! It appears that Penguino got caught up in the moment and it cost him.

Beeman: Serves him right! Now Duke can get a moment to catch his breath in the ring. Unless that's somehow against the rules now.

LeRay: Why would that be against the rules?

Beeman: Why is Kobra spitting on Duke from the shark cage legal? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

LeRay: Oh brother.

[Duke Mongoose]

(As Penguino starts to step through the ropes, Duke runs and kicks the bottom rope, causing it to go up directly into Penguino's crotch)

LeRay: Oh come on, Duke! I thought this was supposed to be a fair fight!

Beeman: Define "fair".

LeRay: Referee Rothburn Sallie is once again scolding Duke, and I hope he's threatening disqualification because this is getting out of hand.

Beeman: I don't know what you're talking about. Duke clearly has this match well in hand.

LeRay: Penguino is still smarting from the low blow and Duke drags him to the center of the ring and plants with him the Jumping Piledriver. This one might be all over.

*One...Two......Kickout*

Beeman: I don't believe it! I WON'T believe it! Can we get a replay?

LeRay: Duke looks shocked as well, but it's short lived as he slaps on a rear chinlock to maintain control of the match. Wait, what is Duke doing now?

Beeman: It looks like he wants the referee to check on something to do with Kobra up in the cage.

LeRay: What on Earth could it possibly be? Aside from a minor spitting incident, Johnny Kobra has been a complete non-factor in this match.

Beeman: Well, in the interest of keeping this a fair fight, the referee had better do as Duke asks.

LeRay: "Fair fight"? Who are you trying to kid? Oh great, the referee is actually taking his eyes off the action to check on... I don't even know.

(With the referee's attention diverted, Duke pulls some of his wrist tape free and wraps it around Penguino's neck, then applies a sleeper hold to obscure the tape around the neck. When Rothburn Sallie turns his attention back to the action, he's none the wiser)

LeRay: This is ridiculous. If Duke wins I hope he's happy with the most hollow victory possible.

Beeman: What are you going on about? I haven't seen Duke do one illegal thing.

LeRay: Of course YOU haven't. The referee is now going to check on Penguino to see if he's still able to continue...

[Penguino]

Penguino is beginning to run out of oxygen and starts to fade

LeRay “It seems Penguino is out cold and now the official needs to go and start the ark raise.”

Beeman “He’s done, I told you he couldn’t win without Kobra.”

LeRay “Raise number one, the arm falls, Raise number two it falls again this might be it folks and for the third time it fall- No Penguino stays in it and is starting to power out of it, an elbow to the breadbasket and another and a third Duke is now to the side of Penguino in what seems like a headlock and Penguino hits a back body drop.”

Beeman “Duke get up!”

LeRay “‘Guino heads up to the top rope and signals for it, a Flying Penguin. The cover 1.2.”