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Post by Kip Whistler on Jul 9, 2024 16:21:18 GMT -5
Greetings, grapple fans!
Tonight we embark on an exciting new journey in the JWA, as we take the first steps toward determining the first ever JWA Openweight Champion! As I stated on The Blip, this title has no limits or restrictions, it is open to anyone. But different from the World Heavyweight Title, it will be defended much more frequently. Tonight is the first of our three qualifying matches, and it will see top World title contender Penguino going against former World Tag Team Champion The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM, and perennial Women's World Championship challenger Lady Diana Gallus! Truly an eclectic array of stars. Can Penguino continue his hot streak and stake his claim as one of the best in the business? Can DOOM rebound from last week's loss like opponent's blows rebound off his stomach? Can Lady Diana shock the world and pick up the win here? Anything is possible, and we won't have to wait long to find out!
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
I mentioned it briefly, but last week we saw new World Tag Team Champions crowned when The Alpha & Omega of Domination, Inc. defeated The Pirates OF DOOM. I understand there's to be a championship celebration here tonight. It would seem my invitation got lost in the mail. Oh well. Due to their victory last week, Conor Caine and Omega Satyros are out of the running for the JWA Openweight Championship, but Red Pirate Rogers and DOOM can look for redemption by capturing this new prize.
Speaking of the JWA Openweight Championship, we will be determining the champion in a three way match at Fortune & Glory coming up in just a few weeks. The three winners of the three qualifying matches will face off at the pay per view, with one competitor standing tall as the first ever champion. Next week's match will feature the Three-time and final Women's World Champion Daisy Turner going against Red Pirate Rogers and Troglo. If anything could give this week a run for its money on bizarre groupings, that would be it. And then finally will be Duke Mongoose going against JWA stalwart Pierre The Enormous and newcomer Thumper Moore III. Thumper seems to have run afoul of Domination, Inc. recently but luckily he won't have to worry about them in this tournament. Or will he?
World Heavyweight Champion Winter Hex is indisposed for the time being, as I mentioned last week, and it seems that "The Debonair" Mack Caliber may be by her side. He does have a standing invitation to join the Openweight Title hunt, but perhaps he's more focused on getting Winter a standing ovation instead.
The anonymous gifts continue to arrive at the doorsteps of "Lord" Taylor Thorin. Will this week be when the secret admirer reveals themselves?
Let's get this shindig started! Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jul 9, 2024 18:23:10 GMT -5
“Accordion” plays and Cannons blast. “Accordion” plays as The Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOM scurries across the stage, cape flapping and rapier waving. He adjusts his eye patch and states down the ramp to the squared circle. He charges. The cape slaps everyone in the face. He steals a beverage and pours it all down his gullet and onto his face. He’s a mess as he wheezes his way to the ring and he rolls himself under the bottom rope (mostly) and lays in the center of the ring gasping for air as he awaits his opponents.
Beeman: Has anyone checked DOOM for asthma?
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Post by Artemis on Jul 9, 2024 18:52:49 GMT -5
"Run The World" By Beyonce sounds next, and Lady Diana Gallus makes her way to the ring. She looks focused heading to the ring.
LeRay: It's going to be hard for the fans to choose who to root for tonight. DOOM's been an absolute hit with them since he came back. Diana's gotten quite a strong fanbase in her 2 months here, and it's hard to pick against Penguino when he's been riding a hot streak since the Forever Champs split.
Beeman: I can't believe Duke's the only respectable fighter in this entire 9-person bracket.
LeRay: Those other combatants account for 1 former JWA World Heavyweight Champion, 7 JWA Tag Title reigns, and 3 JWA Women's World Champion reigns.
Beeman: And yet, not one person I give a damn about.
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Post by Bayou Burl on Jul 9, 2024 19:26:28 GMT -5
The broadcast for JWA Glory begins. The intro plays, but 10 seconds in the feed is interrupted.
It cuts to a 20 second video of what looks like phone-recorded footage. A man is wandering through a swamp, a blue butterfly flying infront of him, seemingly leading him somewhere. The man filming is approaching a cabin held on stilts above a bayou as his heavy breathing is heard. The cabin looks derelict from outside but a light is clearly on inside. The butterfly goes through the cabin's open window, flying up above the drawn curtains and out of view as our cameraman cautiously makes his way up the cabin stairs and slowly opens the unlocked front door. He mutters, in a New York accent, "What the..." as we see a quick glimpse of what's behind it.
I'll never let power go again.
Despite the rundown exterior it looks quite modern and...oddly cheerful inside. In the split-second we see of the interior there's what looks to be a freshly painted sky blue wall, a modern ceiling light and a big book on a table decorated with a bright pot of flowers. The JWA feed then resumes as normal.
You'll remember me forever
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Post by Penguino on Jul 9, 2024 20:34:19 GMT -5
“Stay Vicious” by the gaslight anthem blasts over the loudspeakers and Penguino and Johnny Kobra makes there way out and into the ring. The veteran official Panther Haberdashery calls for the bell and the match begins
DOOM immediately charges Diana who dodged out of the way causing DOOM to hit the turnbuckle and fall on his back to which he can’t get up out of.
LeRay “The Greatest Wrestler of DOOM is stuck in a turtle position and can’t seem to get up. Penguino is waisting no time going after and kicking DOOM with his webbed feet. Gallus also joins in on the action and they both kick the downed man.”
Beeman “No one has done something cheap yet, I’m getting bored.”
LeRay “Lady Diana steps over the big man and is now on the same side as Penguino and she hits the Penguin with a strike, and another, and a third sends him into the corner.”
Beeman “Finally the betrayal in a temporary Allin a bow In into it.”
LeRay “She goes for a punch in the corner but Penguino catches her arm and throws her into the corner instead, now Penguino is backing up maybe looking for a running drip kick to the corner but he trips over DOOM who is still laying on the ground, Gallus has recovered and is the only one standing, what could possibly happen next, we’ll have that answer right after the break.”
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Post by Omega Satyros on Jul 9, 2024 21:30:42 GMT -5
Kip's intro fades to the sound of "Domination" by Kayzo, Sullivan King, and Papa Roach. Omega and Conor Caine make their way to the ring where Black Cat is stood surrounded by celebration accoutrement. Omega takes a mic as fans make their disdain abundantly clear.
Omega: Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to Domination Incorperated Glory. While I'm sure all of you would love to be graced by our World Champion, she has more important things to do than disgrace her vision with you peasants. Just like the Pirates of DOOM, you all can't stand to see the worthy succeed while you sit there in your mediocrity. The Alpha and Omega proved last week that Domination Inc. is the most powerful force in this company, that the stench of mediocrity that had infected the vast majority of that locker room can be washed away.
The crowd were vitriolic as Omega took a moment to soak in the venom.
Omega: Just look at the shabby crew making up the Openweight Tournament. Just about the only one in the tournament who I'd say deserves a shot at gold is Penguino. But the most deserving man somehow got left out. Kip can say whatever he wants, we know for some reason he must be terrified of all the gold being elevated in our capable hands. But enough about the rabble, tonight is a celebration of greatness.
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Post by Artemis on Jul 9, 2024 22:16:46 GMT -5
Diana looks at her two downed opponents. She climbs to the middle rope and dives onto DOOM, hoping to score an early pin. Penguino quickly breaks up the pin.
LeRay: It's not going to be a quick match for any of these three competitors.
Beeman: great
Penguino begins peppering Diana with right flippers. He lands a leg sweep that sends Diana topping over DOOM. She powders out as DOOM manages to grab a rope and pull himself to his feet.
LeRay: Flashbacks to the Tag Title matches these two had against each other, DOOM came out on top with Red Pirate Rogers there, will history repeat itself here?
Beeman: Considering DOOM lost the Tag Titles because of a fear of cheese, I wouldn't bet on it.
LeRay: Bit of talking down to Omega there?
Beeman: Absolutely not. It was an ingenious plan on his part, doesn't make DOOM's Turophobia any less unusual.
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jul 10, 2024 6:57:06 GMT -5
With Gallus outside the ring, Penguino and DOOM face one another. DOOM adjusts his eye patch and barrels out his blubbery man-boobed chest. Penguino stomp one webbed foot far apart from the other in Sumo fashion. They charge one another. Penguino cleverly ice slides between DOOM’s feet when they get close and The Greatest One smashes into a turnbuckle once again, spinning himself around and laying in a seated position in the corner. Penguino is pleased with himself. But Johnny Kobra has a sinister idea. He calls out to his flippered friend “Beak his nuts!” After brief consideration Penguino charges the incapacitated DOOM and ice slides, beak first into his groin. DOOM wheezes and howls and his legs kick about as Penguino rises, beak beaming, only to turn around into a clothesline by Lady Diana.
Beeman: Haha. He didn’t see that one coming.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Jul 10, 2024 7:42:07 GMT -5
Kip's intro fades to the sound of "Domination" by Kayzo, Sullivan King, and Papa Roach. Omega and Conor Caine make their way to the ring where Black Cat is stood surrounded by celebration accoutrement. Omega takes a mic as fans make their disdain abundantly clear.Omega: Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to Domination Incorperated Glory. While I'm sure all of you would love to be graced by our World Champion, she has more important things to do than disgrace her vision with you peasants. Just like the Pirates of DOOM, you all can't stand to see the worthy succeed while you sit there in your mediocrity. The Alpha and Omega proved last week that Domination Inc. is the most powerful force in this company, that the stench of mediocrity that had infected the vast majority of that locker room can be washed away. The crowd were vitriolic as Omega took a moment to soak in the venom.Omega: Just look at the shabby crew making up the Openweight Tournament. Just about the only one in the tournament who I'd say deserves a shot at gold is Penguino. But the most deserving man somehow got left out. Kip can say whatever he wants, we know for some reason he must be terrified of all the gold being elevated in our capable hands. But enough about the rabble, tonight is a celebration of greatness. At that moment, Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation hits and the message appears on the screen: I. AM. UNDENIABLE. Thumper Moore III, all 6’3” and 330 pounds of him, heads to the ring, jumps up onto the apron from the arena floor, stares directly at Omega, then, enters the ring and takes the microphone directly from his hand. “Omega Satyros— Greetings and salutations. I would be rude if I didn’t address your friend first. Mr. Caine, I have no quarrel with you, and I apologize for this unfortunate but necessary interruption. I have some business with Mr. Satyros that cannot wait, and must be summarily dealt with. Omega, actions have consequences. Your actions on Mania, in costing me his AoE Hardcore Championship (TM3 points at Black Cat) have cost several things. First, they damaged your friend’s credibility. Everyone knows that Black Cat is now a paper tiger, an illegitimate champion. Second, you cost him an opportunity for his own glory— perhaps he would have been the first to escape Larger Than Life, cementing his place in history. And third, you have made an enemy of Thumper Moore III, Esquire. A grave mistake. One that I’m sure will come back to bite you— because I’ll be the one doing the biting. After I win the tournament for the new Openweight Title, why don’t you revel in my splendor and challenge for it?” Thumper hands the microphone back to Omega and stands proud, waiting for a response. |
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Post by Penguino on Jul 10, 2024 9:12:43 GMT -5
LeRay “Now Diana is once again the only person standing in the ring and she picks up Penguino and sends him into the ropes for a clothesline. And now she picks up DOOM and does the same for him but he stays standing, now Lady Gallus runs off the ropes for another clothesline and DOOM is woozy one more might do it, she comes off the ropes but runs straight into Penguino who has his arm out for a clothesline, and sends her down and Penguino chops DOOM into the corner.”
Beeman “DOOM the buffoon must not know what wrestling is because as Penguino is backing away to run in for a clothesline he’s complaining to the ref that Penguino hit him too hard.”
LeRay “Penguino goes in for the running dropkick and hits but Lady Diana Gallus heads back into the ring and hits a reverse suplex and bridges for a cover but Penguino kicks out at one
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Jul 10, 2024 10:18:00 GMT -5
*KC is watching Glory with Jax*
Pierre: This is gonna be interesting...
Troglo: *nods in agreement*
Jax: Who do you want to win big guy?
Pierre: I feel like I know Trog's answer
Troglo: DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! *he starts belly laughing*
Pierre: As for me it's a tie between DOOM and Penguino
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Jul 10, 2024 11:25:29 GMT -5
LeRay: As we have a brief lull in the action, I understand we have some pre-recorded comments from Duke Mongoose.
Beeman: Oh goody! Something I'll actually enjoy!
(A picture-in-picture inset box appears in the upper right corner of the screen featuring Duke standing in front of a JWA banner)
Duke Mongoose: Big Daddy Duke here! It seems that I have to face two relative giants if I want to be the first ever JWA Openweight Champion. I've beaten that big goof Pierre on numerous occasions, and I look forward to doing the same to this well-spoken new fellow. Let me tell you something, TM3 - I knew Thumper Moore, and you're no Thumper Moore! As for tonight's match, I want to wish my boy Penguino the best of luck, because I hope he's one of the two people I get to put to sleep with my Cobra Clutch at Fortune & Glory! Call your grandmother, this interview is over!
(The box fades from the screen as the action in the ring begins to pick up)
Beeman: Some wise words from the future JWA Openweight Champion.
LeRay: Duke would be wise not to take either Pierre or Thumper lightly.
Beeman: Lightly? Have you seen those guys? It's impossible to take them lightly.
LeRay: Would you stop?!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Jul 10, 2024 11:39:27 GMT -5
Thumper hands the microphone back to Omega and stands proud, waiting for a response. I don't need to ask how dumb you are, saying as you've had to tattoo your initials on your chest to keep you from forgetting your own name, but you must have rocks for gray matter if you think you can just walk out here and interrupt Domination Inc without getting your ass stomped to mulch! With that, Caine, Omega and Black Cat start beating on Moore while the fans boo and jeer Domination Inc. |
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Post by Artemis on Jul 10, 2024 11:44:43 GMT -5
Diana shrugs off the kick out. Penguino's makes his way to the top rope looking to take Diana down with a cross body, but Diana rolls through before lifting Penguino to her shoulders. DOOM is up from the drop kick and delivers a spear to Diana, causing her to deliver an effective Somoan Drop to Penguino, all three are down.
LeRay: An absolute flurry of offense from three excellent combatants.
Beeman: Can't Panther Haberdashy give a quick 10 count and just end this match? Then Duke only has one unworthy opponent when he seizes the Openweight Title
LeRay: This isn't a Last Man Standing match, so no, and why would you want to see such a thrilling match end that way?
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jul 10, 2024 13:39:10 GMT -5
The Greatest Professional Wrestler of DOOM slowly climbs to his feet and looks at the carnage on the floor. He excitedly hops up and down, switching his eye patch from left to right and runs the ropes to deliver a punishing body splash of DOOM to both Lady D and Penguino. His blubberiness covers both opponents for Panther’s count of 2 before Bob kick out. Johnny Kobra hops onto the apron to distract DOOM. It works. DOOM stares, confused, at Johnny and switches his patch back to left. Gallus and Penguino, meanwhile, hatch a quick and effective plot as the each hook a meaty leg and roll through to deliver a rolling double leg slam, smashing DOOM to the canvas once again.
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