JWA Fortune & Glory 2024 - Main Thread

[Kip Whistler]

JWA presents...
FORTUNE & GLORY 2024

(A comic book inspired introduction airs, depicting the members of Domination, Inc. (Conor Caine, Omega Satyros, Mack Caliber, and Winter Hex) as super villains of a sort, committing mayhem throughout a city in still frame images.)

Narrator: The streets of the city no longer feel safe, and Domination, Inc. is the cause. Capturing nearly all of the gold, they seemingly hold the JWA in their terrifying grasp. But suddenly, a new force arises to combat them!

(Red Pirate Rogers, The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM, and Thumper Moore III appear in still images, depicted as super heroes, coming face to face with Domination, Inc.)

Narrator: With these two great opposing forces ready to collide, where better to settle things than inside THE BATTLEDOME!!!

(Prison cell-like bars descend over the image of the two groups facing off as the Fortune & Glory graphic appears)

Narrator: JWA Fortune & Glory - What the world has come to!

(The intro fades out and we see Toni Cruise seated at a desk alongside Rodd Puttergill and Yuppie VP)

Toni: Welcome everyone to the JWA Fortune & Glory kickoff show! I'm joined tonight by Yuppie VP, who will be giving us his insight into tonight's card.

Yuppie: Glad to be back on camera - I mean, providing my expert analysis.

Toni: And also joined by the host of JWA Mania, Rodd Puttergill.

Rodd: Toni, I can't wait to get into all of tonight's action.

Toni: Well let's first look at the Triple Threat Match to crown the first ever JWA Openweight Champion. It'll be Penguino against Red Pirate Rogers against Duke Mongoose. There's plenty of history among those three, and with a championship on the line you have to imagine that all three of these competitors are going to bring their best tonight.

Rodd: Undoubtedly, Toni. When Kip announced this new championship, a lot of people were asking how it was going to be different. Then you saw the field of competitors who were going to be vying for the title, and you saw former Women's World Champion Daisy Turner, former World Champion and Tag Team Champion Red Pirate Rogers, not to mention newcomers and legends alike. Everyone knew this title was going to be special, and everyone wanted a piece of the action. 

Yuppie: Everyone wants a piece of the action, but one guy who's probably biting off more than he can chew is Red Pirate Rogers. The man won his qualifying match, which should have been enough, but he's foolish enough to get himself TWO MATCHES tonight as he'll be competing in the main event as well. As a person who was involved in two matches on the first ever Fortune & Glory, I can tell you it's a recipe for disaster. Rogers can't give his all in this match, because he's got a major fight on his hands later on, which means he won't be able to give 100% in the main event either.

Toni: I take it that means you're not picking Rogers as your choice to win the title?

Yuppie: On the contrary, I actually think he might be dumb enough to pull it off, but at the cost of letting down his teammates later tonight. Yeah, I think that Burgundy Buffoon is going to win the JWA Openweight Title but then get massacred in the main event. And don't forget, Kip announced that the champion will defend the title next week against Mack Caliber. So Rogers could be looking at a very short title run.

Rodd: I think that Rogers has a pretty good chance of claiming the gold, but my pick is Penguino. The guy's been on fire the past few months, plus he has the opportunity tonight to get a victory over Duke Mongoose and be done with his former tag team partner once and for all.

Toni: Curious that neither of you picked Duke to win. I guess we'll see what ends up happening. Let's move on to the main event: BATTLEDOME! Issues between Domination, Inc. and the rest of the JWA have been escalating since the inception of the group. We've seen "Charismatic" Conor Caine and "The Closer" Omega Satyros claim the World Tag Team Championship and also getting involved in matches featuring Thumper Moore III as well as The Pirates OF DOOM. We've seen "The Debonair" Mack Caliber show up and wreck shop while our World Heavyweight Champion, "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex, is busy fulfilling her prior outside commitments. The challenge was laid out and accepted, so now The Pirates OF DOOM & Thumper Moore III will face Domination, Inc. in a six-man Battledome match, where the winning side will decide the stipulation for the World Tag Team Championship rematch between The Pirates OF DOOM and The Alpha & Omega. Rodd, let's start with you. Who's picking up a crucial victory tonight?

Rodd: I'd just like to specify that we're not even really sure what the rules of a Battledome match are, we just know that those six men have enough animosity among them that something drastic needs to be done in order to ensure a proper result. On that note, I'm going to go with The Pirates OF DOOM & Thumper Moore III. I know that Domination, Inc. has proven to be a united front to this point, but there's just something compelling about this rag tag team of heroes. Thumper has been nothing short of astonishing in his short time here thus far, and Rogers & DOOM has an unrivaled chemistry as a team. I think Caine, Satyros, and Caliber may have made a mistake accepting this match.

Yuppie: Domination, Inc. picks up the victory. NO QUESTION. I said before that Rogers is going to selfishly put the Openweight Title ahead of his teammates, and I don't think that Thumper, Rogers and DOOM can win at full capacity anyway, let alone with a depleted pirate on their side. Plus, I know the Battledome is going to be locked to outsiders, but you'd be a fool if you don't think that The Black Cat isn't going to find a way inside.

Rodd: Well, if you're going to bring up Black Cat, how about Pierre The Enormous and Troglo? I'm sure they'll be rooting on The Pirates OF DOOM and Thumper, and won't hesitate to get involved if their help is needed.

Yuppie: Oh sure, let's just let Rogers, DOOM and Moore bring in an army to help them fight. Can they wear suits of armor also? You're being ridiculous.

Rodd: Me? You're the one who's advocating for outside interference in a Battledome match!

Toni: GENTLEMEN! Remember, be professionals!

Yuppie: He started it.

Rodd: Did not!

Toni: We're just about ready to get this show started, and don't forget that on Glory this past week that mysterious Blue Butterfly seemed to tease an answer to its mystery here tonight.

Rodd: I can't wait to find out what's the story behind all of this.

Yuppie: It's probably just a clever advertisement for soda or something.

Toni: That's all from us. Sit back, relax, and enjoy JWA Fortune & Glory!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

[Bayou Burl]

(OOC: This message is quite long so if anyone has any formatting tips or requests please just let me know. Also I did read this over but I did probably miss a few grammatical errors so apologies if that's the case.)

After the commentary team's opening statement, the feed and titantron cut to what looks like a children’s TV show opening credits: it reads BURL’S BUTTERFLY ROOM in big, bubbly, multi-coloured letters. Then it cuts to a brightly coloured room with a television and sofa to the left, a big rug covering the floor and a window giving a view to the swamps outside on the right. 3 or 4 caged butterflies hang from the ceiling, none of them moving. A large man, the eponymous Bayou Burl, stands in the middle of the room.


“Hi Kids! Welcome to the first episode of Burl’s Butterfly Room! It’s so great to see all of you here, I’m so glad you came! It’s been so long! I missed you all so so SO much! Now you’re probably thinking ‘whaddya mean missed, Bayou? We’d have remembered if we’d seen a face as handsome as yours before!’...Flatter me though you do, you’re wrong! Some of you older kids have seen me before! I’ve just been gone for a little while, and I look a lot different! I think you've waited long enough to see me again, so how about we just get into it and Ol’ Uncle Bayou gets you all up to date with one of his very favourite things! A good ol’ story!”


Bayou ducks out of shot and the camera cuts to him sitting in a chair with a pair of reading glasses on, holding a book. A stack of framed pictures is sitting face-down on his right. The wall behind him is colourfully labelled "Wall of Forgotten Friends!"


“This right here is the big book of my life! Reading is so important, kids! It lets you learn all sorts of things: Maths, English, cooking recipes, and the subject of today’s story: How a weak man’s quest for power can almost destroy him!"

canned children’s cheering sounds as Bayou flicks through the pages

"Let’s see here…Which one is it…Ah here we go! Scootch in close so you can hear me! Ahem…A long, long time ago, Kip Whistler, the JWA and most of your favourite wrestlers who you all cheer for each week, they weren’t around! Instead, there was another promotion! One that was so irrelevant and poorly run it didn’t even have a name!”


canned children’s laughter

“And one of the main stars of this not-so-tightly run ship was me! But back then, I wasn’t known as Bayou Burl, I was known as….The Enhancer! You see, back then I was a scrappy undersized underdog, and I wore a mask because I was too scared for the world to see my face..”


Bayou takes the top picture off the pile. It’s a skinny wrestler wearing a green singlet and mask: his younger self. He places it on the "Wall of Forgotten Friends!" behind him

“...And I arrived as a cocky young upstart who had no real skills; I couldn’t fight or talk very well.. But I had a lot of confidence in myself and a real thirst for power! I came in and I wanted to try my hand at wrestling, and most of my new peers were accepting…too accepting! Except for one man who saw right through me and my lil’ old green mask! He took umbrage with me thinking I was the best thing around right after I first walked through the door and challenged me to my first match…And as you can see..”


Bayou pulls out another picture - this one of a man with a cocky demeanour and blond hair in the ring with his arm raised by the referee. The Enhancer is visible lying defeated on the matt.

“He beat the tar out of me! So that gave me a BIG reality check and made me reconsider: If I couldn’t make it as a singles wrestler then how about I join up with someone more talented in a tag team? Surely THEN I’d have the power I wanted, right? So I went around looking for a tag partner and whether it be out of pity or humour or whatever it was…the man who beat me up when I arrived agreed to team up with me, and guess what? We won the tag belts!”


canned children cheering again

“But…My partner…he wasn’t a very nice man..in fact he was kind of a Jerk…And I was also feeling really cocky again after winning a piece of gold, so we went our separate ways and I wrestled a few more matches by myself. I even won a match on P4V after my old partner sent someone after me... But my career wasn't really going anywhere...So now with no friends and still no real talent in the ring and no way of getting the power I wanted, I thought…how about I try running the shows instead? How about I pick up the booker’s pen and make the matches instead of competing in them? After all, even the world champion has to obey the booker, right? but there was only one issue…I sucked at that too! See I would keep all those who deserved title shots down…While sometimes making them wrestle twice on one show!”

Burl pulls out another more picture, this time of Yuppie VP, and hangs it on the wall.

“And I even awarded a title shot to myself for aP4V....A P4V that never even ended up happening! And you wanna know why it didn’t happen? Because me and my cohorts here...

Another picture, this time a collage of Shock’s various personas, joins the wall too.

..Ran the company into the ground through our immature antics!”



"Oh yes, we sure did! After a particularly bad run of TV, we were forced to close down, and the JWA as we all enjoy it today rose from the ashes! But I didn't exactly go down with my ship...I knew I had to keep trying to make myself powerful..so I went off to New York and I got super buff! Then I came back as the dreaded.....Manhattan Mauler!"
the children cheer at the name as a picture of Bayou's second persona joins the wall, this one going directly alongside the one of The Enhancer. 

"But we've already been here for a while so I think that his story, and the rest of the pictures to adorn my lovely wall here, will need to wait until next week."
Bayou shuts the book and stands


"Well kids, that was the first episode of Bayou's butterfly room, I hope you all enjoyed seeing me again as much I enjoyed seeing you! And remember my butterflies...Nobody ever really dies, so long as we remember them. Bye! See you all next week, it was so great to see you all again!"


Bayou's friendly goodbyes continue as outro music plays and the feed to the Butterfly Room fades out.

[Artemis]

"Run The World" by Beyonce plays, and Lady Diana makes her way down to the ring.

LeRay: In our next matchup, we've got Lady Diana taking on "Miss JWA" Kristy Tristan.

Beeman: Somewhere out there, Jessie Aldean just cringed.

LeRay: Well, she has no argument, Kristy Tristan won the Miss JWA Battle Royale on the pre-show.

Diana and Kristy share a respectful handshake as the bell rings. Kristy tries to pull Diana into a clothesline, but Diana manages to overpower, pulling her into a Usurper Lock (Koji Clutch) Kristy manages to make it to the ropes to force a break.

LeRay: Close one, but this match isn't going end that quickly.

Beeman: Shame, the sooner this match ends, the sooner we get to see Domination Inc. decimate the cobbled-together crusade that thinks they can stand in the way.

Kristy and Diana make their way to their feet. Kristy nails a Savate Kick than knocks Diana flat, but Diana manages a kickout at 1.5. Diana fights off Kristy long enough to get up the middle rope, nailing her with Next-In-Line for the 3 count.

LeRay: Diana looks to be back on the right track. I can't wait to see what impact she...

"I Love The Night" by Blue Oyster Cult plays and the crowd looks shocked as Artemis emerges, making her way down to the ring. Diana also looks confused as Artemis enters the ring and embraces her. Artemis raises her hand in victory...

LeRay: Artemis's time away might've done a lot of good for her.

...before pulling her into Wrath of the Hunt, leaving her splayed out on the mat as she laughs, making her way back up the ramp.