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Post by Kip Whistler on Aug 6, 2024 17:06:27 GMT -5
This week's schedule had to be shuffled around at the last minute, but we've got a doozy of a main event for you this week. Representing Domination, Inc. will be "The Closer" Omega Satyros and he'll be taking on Thumper Moore III. These two met last week in BATTLEDOME at Fortune & Glory, but their issues started long before then and will clearly continue in the ring here tonight. As an added incentive, the winner of tonight's match will be next in line to challenge for the JWA Openweight Title! Thumper is a true force to be reckoned with, but as always he'll have to keep an eye out for the other members of Domination, Inc. as well. Who will stand tall at the end of it all? We'll find out soon enough.
(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)
Congratulations are in order for Penguino, who won the JWA Openweight Title at Fortune & Glory last week to become the first champion. He defeated Red Pirate Rogers and Duke Mongoose, and he's got a tough test ahead of him next week when he makes his first defense against "The Debonair" Mack Caliber. We expect to hear from the new champion during tonight's broadcast.
The team of The Pirates OF DOOM & Thumper Moore III defeated Domination, Inc. in BATTLEDOME last week, and as a result they will have the right to choose the stipulation for the World Tag Team Championship rematch coming up in two weeks against the champions, "Charismatic" Conor Caine & "The Closer" Omega Satyros. What stipulation will Rogers & DOOM select? The possibilities seem endless!
Rumors were swirling after Fortune & Glory that Conor Caine was injured, but then that quack Dr. Zamboni shows back up and Caine is not only listed as being healthy but he's showing up on Mania and interrupting matches. I trust that Dr. Zamboni about as far as I can throw him, but Caine seems healthy from what I've seen.
Fortune & Glory saw the return of Artemis, and it seems that she and Lady Diana Gallus are not as buddy-buddy as Diana led us to believe. Artemis left Lady Diana lying at Fortune & Glory, and has promised to "tell all" here tonight. What could that entail? Does it involve "Lord" Taylor Thorin, who seems to have been swept up into a situation without realizing it?
Artemis wasn't the only person who returned to JWA last week, as we saw the former Manhattan Mauler, or Bayou Burl as he is now known. Burl debuted "Burl's Butterfly Room" where he gave us something of an explanation as to where he's been since we last saw him. He teased that a second installment was set for this week on Glory. Perhaps we'll learn a bit more about this mysterious new persona?
A little birdie told me that our World Heavyweight Champion, "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex will be returning from Hollywood soon, coming off the completion of shooting her new film.
All this, plus we'll hear from Pierre The Enormous & Killie's Crew, "Anarchy in the JWA" Daisy Turner, and many more! Now get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Aug 6, 2024 18:25:54 GMT -5
*Troglo and I are eating dinner with Huggy and Jax waiting for the main to start*
Troglo: THUMP FRIEND BEAT PUNY MASK MAN
Pierre: I know you want him beaten Troglo we all do...
Huggy: He needs to learn some decency...
Jax: Indeed my plush friend...
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Post by Omega Satyros on Aug 6, 2024 21:35:41 GMT -5
"Wanted: Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi sounds and Omega makes his way down to the ring. Fans go between chanting "SCREW O-MEG-A" and "THUMPER MOORE!"
LeRay: It's not surprising, the fans have a clear favorite tonight.
Beeman: Who'd be shocked, we've never seen the fans here express an intelligent opinion.
LeRay: Can you ever not be a contrarian?
Beeman: No...Yes...Shut up.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Aug 6, 2024 22:34:31 GMT -5
Our Solemn Hour begins to play, and I. AM. UNDENIABLE. appears on the Jerkatron. For a frame, and only a frame, was that a blue butterfly? Anyway, Thumper Moore III starts to head to the ring, but pauses and cuts his music. He holds up a microphone and waves his hands downward to get the fans to let him speak.
“Mr. Satyros, Mr. Beeman, Mr. Leray, and JWA Fans: Greetings, and salutations. Mr. Satyros, I told you I’d address in full your rather pointed comments on the Blip this weekend, and so now I shall. While I can be cutting and loquacious when I want to be, those comments of yours deserve more than a verbal jab. And so, without further ado, let me answer you with allowing you to revel in my splendor, up close and personal.”
LERAY: Thumper is not letting his words get in the way of his fists today. He enters the ring and immediately Omega and Thumper meet in the middle of the ring and start trading blows! Referee Rothburn Sallie has no choice but to ring the bell to start the contest!
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Post by Omega Satyros on Aug 7, 2024 6:02:07 GMT -5
Omega and Thumper trade punches in the middle of the ring, Sallie keeping keen eye to ensure no one went for illegal blows.
LeRay: The amount of vitriol between these two. This battle for bragging rights and an Openweight Title opportunity.
Beeman: Omega's got to have the advantage in this matchup. Thumper Moore doesn't have much to go on in terms of what to expect from Omega, while Omega has all of Black Cat's experience against him to draw upon.
LeRay: I've got to disagree with you there, the power Thumper Moore can put behind is offense is going to be difficult for anyone to overcome.
Beeman: And Omega's proven capable to overcome that kind of power before, and he'll do it again tonight.
Thumper and Omega brawl over to the ropes, peppering each other with fists. Thumper goes for a big lariat, sending Omega over the ropes to the apron. Omega takes advantage of this position, dodging another forearm and grabbing Thumper's head to deliver a hangman. Sallie delivers a warning to Omega that the satyr brushes off.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Aug 7, 2024 6:26:12 GMT -5
Cut to Toni Cruz in a corridor Backstage…
CRUZ: Ladies and gentlemen, follow me as I try to get a word from Conor Caine regarding Domination Inc’s defeat at last week’s show.
Toni goes through a door that leads into Catering, where Conor Caine stands at the buffet table, laying out an array of cheeses, dressings and crackers. Toni looks bemused.
CRUZ: Conor, I’m here to ask you about your loss last week but, honestly, I’m more curious about what you’re doing right now…
CAINE: Isn’t it obvious, Toni? I’m laying out a Charcuterie Board.
CRUZ: Wha… why? Uh, wait… doesn’t a Charcuterie Board have… meats, too?
Conor looks up at Toni with a rageful gleam in his eye.
CAINE: What kind of meat, Toni? Salami? Huh?? Well look, I seem to be all out of cold cuts right now, but don’t worry - there’s a hog wandering around this building someplace that I know I can mince up real nice and we can all have sausage. Maybe you’ve seen him? He wears an eyepatch on one eye, a dumb look on his face, and just this past week he’s started sporting a great big target on his back? Never mind, I’m sure I can find him myself - just let me grab my mincer.
Conor grabs a steel chair and walks out of shot, but returns before Toni can say a word. Conor hands Toni a chair also.
CAINE: Don’t let Troglo eat my cheese.
Conor walks out of frame, leaving Toni even more confused than before.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Aug 7, 2024 6:29:51 GMT -5
*Prior to the main event*
Honest Sal: Fans, please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose!
(The crowd boos as Duke makes his way through the curtain and toward the podium. Duke is dressed more drab than usual, this week wearing a solid green track suit, but is still wearing a pink cowboy hat and matching boots)
Sal: Duke, things certainly didn't go your way at Fortune & Glory.
Duke: Ain't that the truth, Sal. All the credit in the world to Penguino. My boy definitely deserves it. And Rogers gave us both a heck of a fight as well.
Sal: I guess the question now is: what's next for Big Daddy Duke?
Duke: Beats me. I said that the issues between myself and Penguino would be over after Fortune & Glory, and I'm a big enough man to live by that. As long as I can, I'll avoid mixing it up with my boy. But don't think I've given up on chasing the gold. Last I checked we've got a World Heavyweight Champion around here who's supposed to be coming back soon.
Sal: Indeed, we're all anticipating the return of "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex.
Duke: I know I haven't had the best record as of late, but I'd like to make a formal challenge. Big Daddy Duke vs. Winter Hex for the World Heavyweight Title. Think about it.
(Duke begins to walk away from the podium)
Sal: Wait, aren't you going to tell me to call my grandmother?
Duke: Oh, yeah. Do that.
(Duke wanders off)
Sal: An unusual lack of bravado from Duke Mongoose this week. Will Winter answer his challenge? Stay tuned!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Aug 7, 2024 10:47:04 GMT -5
LERAY: Omega with a springboard— OH MY! Omega going for a springboard axe handle, and Thumper met him with a violent double chop to the chest! You could hear that in the next county!
BEEMAN: Yeah, whatever that was amounted to a flying nothing from Satyros. I hate to say it, but a great counter from Dumper.
LERAY: Thumper. Satyros is down. Moore drops to his hands and knees— a series of crawling headbutts from Moore knocks Satyros to the floor! Shades of his granddaddy! Moore rebounds off the opposite ropes— his granddaddy never did that! Tope con hilo wipes out Omega and Thumper lands on his feet, reaches skywards, and allows the fans to revel in his splendor!
BEEMAN: That’s the act of a man who thinks he hurt his opponent more than he has.
LERAY: Thumper goes to pick up Omega, who grabs the trunks and pulls Moore into the barricade! Moore is perilously perched across the barricade. Omega to his feet. He walks around the ring post near the announce table, runs at the corner— he vaults off the ring steps and stomps on the massive back of his opponent! There are now hoofprints visible on Moore’s back as we go to commercial!
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Post by Omega Satyros on Aug 7, 2024 11:43:51 GMT -5
Back from commercial, we see Thumper propped against the ring post, Omega delivering a tackle, driving Moore's back into the steel.
Beeman: It's going to be tough for Thumper to win this match if he can't stand.
LeRay: Thumper can stand all the offense Omega can think to throw at him.
Omega heaves Thumper up before rolling him back up into the ring. Omega climbs the turnbuckle and delivers a Satyr-Sault to the injured back. He rolls Moore over for the pin, Thumper kicking out at 2. Omega's enraged and gets in Sallie's face.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Aug 7, 2024 13:39:03 GMT -5
LERAY: Thumper flat on his back now. Omega back up top again— he flips a double bird to Moore before turning his back. Omega flies and lands a second Satyr-sault! But Omega is struggling, what’s going on? An enraged Thumper Moore holds Satyros tight as he sits up, gets to one knee, and now stands! The crowd is going nuts with every step he takes to get vertical! He backs into the corner— running power slam! It’s the The Wrecking Ball, Senior’s finisher! One, two, 2.9! Omega kicks out at the last second.
BEEMAN: My god. That’s a scary man.
LERAY: Thumper is indeed intimidating.
BEEMAN: I mean Omega. To kick out of a 330 pound man landing on him? What resilience!
LERAY: Moore leaves Omega flat and climbs the turnbuckle— WOW! The world’s largest moonsault— the Moonthump!
BEEMAN: You made that up.
LERAY: Maybe so, but I hope it catches on. Omega kicks out again. Sean, everything you’ve said this match has been correct. Thumper was too confident early, and Omega is tough as nails.
BEEMAN: Finally!
LERAY: Thumper tosses Omega into the ropes— he elevates him for Sanctus Esp— Omega counters into a Satyr Kick! Unbelievable counter and Omega takes charge again!
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Post by Bayou Burl on Aug 7, 2024 13:53:25 GMT -5
Much the same as last week, after the opening message from commentary, the titantron flashes to the title screen of Burl's Butterfly Room. Then it cuts to Burl, standing in the middle of the room once again.
“Hi kids! I’m so glad to see you again for another great episode of Burl’s Butterfly Room! I know you’ve been chomping at the bit to hear the end of the story, and I can’t wait to tell it to you! So no point in beating around the bush, how about we just get straight into it.”
Through the power of editing, Burl appears to leap straight up out of frame, and the camera cuts once again to the chair as he lands in it. The Wall Of Forgotten Friends still behind him with the pictures from last week.
“Ah! Right, now where were we…Let’s see…I debuted…I got my butt kicked..me and my only friend deserted each other…I ran the company into the ground…Ah ha! I remember now!"
Burl flicks to the right page
"So, after I destroyed my wrestling promotion, the JWA were there to pick up my slacks. And more than that - they wanted me to work for them alongside many of those who had busted their guts for me! I took them up on their generous offer of course, but I wanted a fresh start. So I went away to New York and worked my butt off to become super strong! And I returned as….The Manhattan Mauler!"
The children cheer as Bayou gestures back to the picture of his old self.
“I had a chip on my shoulder after I lost my job. I came back much bigger, much nastier and much meaner…But beneath all that…I was still a talentless fraud! You see, back then I thought that now I had a moustache and some big strong muscles I could do no wrong. Some of the people I'd screwed over in the old company disagreed though, and that's why my JWA Career would start how it intended to go on - with me looking up the lights after Yuppie VP beat me in my first match back!"
canned laughter
"But I was still too cocky to see the signs...To see all my flaws...And I pinned all the blame of the company collapsing onto other people when really it was mostly my fault!”
Two more pictures join the Wall of Forgotten Friends: The Hindu Mafia - Voodoo Winston and The Godfather.
“And so at the first ever Fortune and Gloryyy PPV I fought these people in my own backyard of New York to enact my revenge, but they still beat me! No matter, because then I got another big opportunity when I competed in the first ever J1! I won my first match....And then went 0 in 3 for the rest, finishing joint last in my group! Through all that I was reminded that I didn't have the talent to make it on my own. So I began to team up with people again, people who also didn't feel like they were doing as well as they should've been!”
Two final people join the wall: The Niz and Chief Buffalo.
“And it worked! I became a three time JWA tag team champion! But there was one final issue! I was an awful teammate! I could never quite stay committed enough to my teammates to get the job done, whether it was not showing up to defend the belts without reason or even spending a week or two in the slammer! That meant that we would always lose the belts pretty quickly each time we got ‘em. My longest reign with the tag titles was 2 months...”
A womp, womp, womp sound effect plays as the camera zooms in on Burl's face as he shakes his head.
“So…After all these repeated failures, I decided it was time to go. It was time to stop embarrassing myself and I left the JWA with a legacy of failure and a career you could sum up in a single paragraph. Then sitting at home one day, I realised something."
Bayou suddenly stops speaking as the camera zooms in on his face. For the first time his cheery persona seems to drop and he takes on a more sombre tone.
“All these people behind me on the wall: Jerk, Yuppie, Shock, Winston, Godfather, Niz, Buffalo…All of them were more talented than me… Yet they and countless other stars have all been forgotten by the world…So a failure like me was destined to be left behind too."
Clips of The Manhattan Mauler’s 3 tag title reigns all ending flash on the screen
“I couldn’t let that happen…I was terrified of it…I began searching for anything to help me...And then I found something. Something great….Something…Frightening. Something people will never forget."
the camera suddenly zooms back out and Bayou takes on his upbeat persona once more
“The end! What a story, and it isn't even finished yet! Thank you all for coming to the Butterfly Room again kids, Uncle Burl will see you all again next week! And don't forget my Butterflies! We never really die….as long as we’re remembered. See you all next week for more fun! Bye bye! Cheerio kids! See ya!!”
The camera pans out before the title screen for the Butterfly Room appears once again. The titantron fades to black
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Aug 7, 2024 14:29:53 GMT -5
Much the same as last week, after the opening message from commentary, the titantron flashes to the title screen of Burl's Butterfly Room. Then it cuts to Burl, standing in the middle of the room once again.“Hi kids! I’m so glad to see you again for another great episode of Burl’s Butterfly Room! I know you’ve been chomping at the bit to hear the end of the story, and I can’t wait to tell it to you! So no point in beating around the bush, how about we just get straight into it.” Through the power of editing, Burl appears to leap straight up out of frame, and the camera cuts once again to the chair as he lands in it. The Wall Of Forgotten Friends still behind him with the pictures from last week.
“Ah! Right, now where were we…Let’s see…I debuted…I got my butt kicked..me and my only friend deserted each other…I ran the company into the ground…Ah ha! I remember now!" Burl flicks to the right page
"So, after I destroyed my wrestling promotion, the JWA were there to pick up my slacks. And more than that - they wanted me to work for them alongside many of those who had busted their guts for me! I took them up on their generous offer of course, but I wanted a fresh start. So I went away to New York and worked my butt off to become super strong! And I returned as….The Manhattan Mauler!" The children cheer as Bayou gestures back to the picture of his old self.
“I had a chip on my shoulder after I lost my job. I came back much bigger, much nastier and much meaner…But beneath all that…I was still a talentless fraud! You see, back then I thought that now I had a moustache and some big strong muscles I could do no wrong. Some of the people I'd screwed over in the old company disagreed though, and that's why my JWA Career would start how it intended to go on - with me looking up the lights after Yuppie VP beat me in my first match back!" canned laughter
"But I was still too cocky to see the signs...To see all my flaws...And I pinned all the blame of the company collapsing onto other people when really it was mostly my fault!” Two more pictures join the Wall of Forgotten Friends: The Hindu Mafia - Voodoo Winston and The Godfather.
“And so at the first ever Fortune and Gloryyy PPV I fought these people in my own backyard of New York to enact my revenge, but they still beat me! No matter, because then I got another big opportunity when I competed in the first ever J1! I won my first match....And then went 0 in 3 for the rest, finishing joint last in my group! Through all that I was reminded that I didn't have the talent to make it on my own. So I began to team up with people again, people who also didn't feel like they were doing as well as they should've been!” Two final people join the wall: The Niz and Chief Buffalo.
“And it worked! I became a three time JWA tag team champion! But there was one final issue! I was an awful teammate! I could never quite stay committed enough to my teammates to get the job done, whether it was not showing up to defend the belts without reason or even spending a week or two in the slammer! That meant that we would always lose the belts pretty quickly each time we got ‘em. My longest reign with the tag titles was 2 months...” A womp, womp, womp sound effect plays as the camera zooms in on Burl's face as he shakes his head.
“So…After all these repeated failures, I decided it was time to go. It was time to stop embarrassing myself and I left the JWA with a legacy of failure and a career you could sum up in a single paragraph. Then sitting at home one day, I realised something." Bayou suddenly stops speaking as the camera zooms in on his face. For the first time his cheery persona seems to drop and he takes on a more sombre tone.
“All these people behind me on the wall: Jerk, Yuppie, Shock, Winston, Godfather, Niz, Buffalo…All of them were more talented than me… Yet they and countless other stars have all been forgotten by the world…So a failure like me was destined to be left behind too." Clips of The Manhattan Mauler’s 3 tag title reigns all ending flash on the screen
“I couldn’t let that happen…I was terrified of it…I began searching for anything to help me...And then I found something. Something great….Something… Frightening. Something people will never forget." the camera suddenly zooms back out and Bayou takes on his upbeat persona once more
“The end! What a story, and it isn't even finished yet! Thank you all for coming to the Butterfly Room again kids, Uncle Burl will see you all again next week! And don't forget my Butterflies! We never really die….as long as we’re remembered. See you all next week for more fun! Bye bye! Cheerio kids! See ya!!” The camera pans out before the title screen for the Butterfly Room appears once again. The titantron fades to black
OOC: Holy smokes man. Inject this straight into my veins. |
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Post by Omega Satyros on Aug 7, 2024 14:30:23 GMT -5
Omega charges in for another Satyr Kick, and gets scooped up for Sanctus Espiritus. He drags Omega's body up for another.
LeRay: Thumper Moore isn't content just beating Omega here tonight, he wants to destroy the masked satyr.
Beeman: That may be the very thing that undoes him here tonight. He might've had the win in the bag, but all it takes is...
From the elevated position, Omega takes Thumper's eyes. Thumper lets go of Omega, who delivers a hurricanrana, Thumper's back hitting the mat with a sickening thud. Omega pulls his leg up for a pin. 1. 2. Thumper just manages to get a shoulder up. Omega is pissed and again gets in Sallie's face.
Beeman: How Thumper kicked out of that, I do not know.
LeRay: Indeed, but Omega's hot temper might burn out his chance at a win.
Thumper's on his stomach, crawling to the ropes to pull himself back up. Omega turns back to him and begins stomping away at Moore's back. He eventually pulls him into Duonysian Madness, his knee digging into Thumper's back as he tries to force him to either tap out or pass out.
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Post by “heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber on Aug 7, 2024 14:50:53 GMT -5
The camera flashes over to me, sitting in the front row eating popcorn. Beeman sees this, walks over and hands me a microphone, asking what I’m doing there.
I’m watching my good friend Omega kick the crap out of a giant piece of donkey dung, Sean. Just like he’s going to watch me go penguin tossing next week and become JWA’s first Grand Slam Champion. I’ve been a tag champion and a world champion— at the same time! I’ve won the J-1. All that’s left for me to be the first to complete JWA’s Grand Slam is for me to make Penguino wish he’d never been hatched next week.
Smart plan by putting off our match. You wouldn’t want the first reign of the belt I’m going to carry well into 2025 to be too short. It might make the new title lose its luster. But don’t you worry— I’ll put the shine back on it.
GO OMEGA! TAP YOU BIG SLUG!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Aug 7, 2024 15:38:16 GMT -5
We cut to Honest Sal's podium where Conor Caine has appeared with his steel chair, looking around the area.
SAL: My guest at this time, I suppose, is Conor Caine?
Conor notices Sal and stops what he's doing. The two stare at each other for a beat before Conor grunts "what?"
SAL: I understand you're focusing your attention on The Professional Wrestler of DOOM tonight. I imagined you'd be... uh... "assisting" Omega in his match against Thumper Moore... emotional support I mean, of course: cheering him on and that.
Conor's head is cocked in confusion.
CAINE: It sounds like you're implying that I'd interfere in that match to get Omega over, but one thing about that, jabroni: Omega doesn't need any help to drop that jacked-up sack of monkey crap! Now I have my own beef with Moore but I'm gonna let that slide for a while because tonight I have a receipt for that salami packin' pirate and I ain't leaving here til I get my hands on him!
SAL: And what about your alleged injury?
CAINE: What about your alleged hairpiece?
SAL: Wha- B-but I don't...
CAINE: See what happens when unfounded allegations get thrown around? Rumours get started. See you on the flip side, short stuff!
Caine walks off set, continuing his search for DOOM. Sal looks around awkwardly before giving the "cut" gesture to the camera. |
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