JWA Glory Episode 198 - World Tag Team Title TLC Match

[Kip Whistler]

It's sure to be chaos here in the JWA Studio this week as The Alpha & Omega defend the World Tag Team Championship against The Pirates OF DOOM in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match! At Fortune & Glory Red Pirate Rogers and The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM (along with Thumper Moore III) earned the right to choose the stipulation for tonight's title rematch, and last week they revealed that this will be a TLC match. Have they laid a perfect trap for the champions, or will these rules play right into the hands of Domination, Inc.? We'll find out in just a few moments!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

It is worth mentioning that Conor Caine has been medically cleared under somewhat dubious circumstances, but the JWA medical staff and Dr. Zamboni have advised me that he's fit to compete for the foreseeable future.

Clearly Caine was feeling just fine last week, as he got involved in our Openweight Title match. However, at the end of the day it was too many cooks in the kitchen and the match between our champion Penguino and Mack Caliber had to be thrown out. Caliber decided to take out his frustrations on our official, which has landed him a suspension. He'll be able to return to action at Super Glory in a few weeks. As for Penguino, the no contest means he retains the title and he'll be defending it next week against Thumper Moore III. We expect to hear from both champion and challenger later on tonight.

Despite setting aside time to meet with him, I never saw any sign of Tembleberry last week. I had hoped that the two of us could sort out what in the Dickens is going on involving Artemis and Lady Diana Gallus, as well as "Lord" Taylor Thorin who seems to have gotten caught up in the middle of things. Thorin seems to think Tembleberry has gone missing. I doubt that's a good sign for anyone.

It was made official last week - at Super Glory "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Duke Mongoose. We can expect to hear from both of these competitors tonight, as they're generally never at a loss for words.

All this, plus we'll check in with Killie's Crew and take another trip to Burl's Butterfly Room!

Now, get out there and work your gimmick!

[Duke Mongoose]

Honest Sal: Please welcome my guest at this time, Duke Mongoose!

(The fans boo as Duke struts his way through the curtain and towards the podium. Duke is back to his old self, pompous as ever and dressed like the worst of the 1970s, 80s, and 90s had a baby)

Duke Mongoose: SALLY BOY! Say his name and he appears!

Sal: ...Satan?

Duke: What?!?! No! ME! Big Daddy Duke! HOLLYWOOD, BABY!

Sal: Oh. Right. Duke, you've got your wish - a world championship match with Winter Hex at Super Glory.

Duke: Darn tootin' I do! That little hussy is going to get one heck of a wrestling lesson, as well as a lesson in what a REAL Hollywood star looks like! I already ran one wannabe star out of this company, and I'm fixing to do it again!

Sal: Are you insinuating that you had ANYTHING to do with Arizona Chance leaving the JWA? Because that's certainly not the case.

Duke: Zip it, Sal! I'm talking here! AS I WAS SAYING! People around here seem to have forgotten that the biggest star wrestling ever produced is standing right before their eyes! I was selling out arenas and movie theaters all across the globe before Winter Hex was even suckling at her mother's bosom! I'm sure she'll have a fine career as a C list movie extra once I'm finished with her, but Big Daddy Duke is going to make sure that her wrestling career is over after I take that World Heavyweight Title away from her!

Sal: Are you at all concerned with the other members of Domination, Inc. possibly getting involved? Or even coming after you before the match?

Duke: CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER, SAL! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!

(Duke kicks over the podium, poses like a jerk, and trots off to the back)

Sal: There you have it, Duke Mongoose is back to his old self again and isn't worried about Domination, Inc. Let's send it back to ringside.

[The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM]

Cannons fire in the darkened arena and “accordion” begins to play as the beloved former tag team champions energetically appear on the stage, meeting eye patch to eye patch and drawing their rapiers. As Rogers bows, DOOM bolts. The soda steal, the chug. One fan waves nachos at him and DOOM swats them away, curling back in fear, bumping into a ladder positioned outside the ring. DOOM turns slowly and looms at it. His gaze drifts up. And up. And up to the top of the 15 footer. He adjusts his eye patch as his partner meets him ringside, placing a hand in the Lucha Pirate’s shoulder. Rogers points their attention to the JWA gold dangling high above the ring. They nod to one another and enter the ring.

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

~ Winter Hex Productions~

Winter: Duke Mongoose, some pretty big words that came out of your mouth that are just untrue. You say you are the biggest star in this company then why am I the ones, hitting big numbers in the box office, why am I the one, getting record deals and why most importantly, why am I, thy JWA World Champion? Because you aren't the biggest start here. I AM! Now Dukey you may look like a star, hell you definitely act like a star and we both have displeasure for that faux actor Arizona Chance, but there is no way in HELL! That you are taking any one of my most prize possessions. At the end of our match it's going to be me on top with my title in a successful defence and you'll go back to doing side show comedy tag stuff like you did with Penguino or whoever.

You want to talk about experience well then I'll definitely say you are washed like many other veterans of your time. While I do pride myself on being hip and staying true to the glory days of the 1950's, you are more like... 1700'S. Hell I'll send you ass back to the Renaissance era where you belong, in the past. While I've thrive right here and continue to be the JWA World Champion like I was meant to be.

~Fin~

[Omega Satyros]

LeRay: DOOM and Rogers are looking quite keen on winning this matchup tonight, and dare I say it, ought to be considered favorites to win.

Beeman, mid-sip of his water, delivers a huge spit-take.

Beeman: Mick, that has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. I'm not going to bs you and say there's absolutely no chance hell freezes over, but favorites?

LeRay: I'm just saying, things haven't gone Domination Inc.'s way the past few weeks. Losing to DOOM via salami, Losing to Moore via string of chairs, and last weeks no contest.

Beeman: Which is exactly why I'd sooner put my money on DOOM and Rogers being unable to walk after this matchup. Domination Inc. are defending their gold, and defending their pride. Just...

DOOM and Rogers are facing the entrance ramp, awaiting their opponents. CRACK! Omega and Conor Caine seize the immediate upperhand with the element of surprise, forgoing their entrance theme to get the jump on the Pirates of DOOM with steel chairs to the Pirates respective backs. Omega begins stomping away at Red while Conor's laying fists into the back of DOOM's skull.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LERAY: A grotesque opening salvo from The Alpha and The Omega of Domination Inc to start the match!
BEEMAN: A cunning strategy from the underdogs!
LERAY: Underdogs?! They belong to a four-member stable!
BEEMAN: Three members, thanks to Kip Whistler suspending Mack Caliber! And if he’d had his way, it would be two members - only Conor Caine was able to avoid the trap of that medical check-up!
LERAY: The less said about fiasco the better! Anybody dodging a medical check has something to hide, but Caine is in the clear and you might want to count your blessings!
BEEMAN: I’ve made my point! JWA management are out get Domination Inc, making them the underdogs in this match.
LERAY: Well your underdogs have just cleared the ring!

Omega and Caine kick their opponents out under the bottom rope as the audience boo them mercilessly. Caine slides out the opposite side of the ring and goes for a ladder while Omega keeps an eye on Red and DOOM, clutching his chair all the while. Caine lifts a ladder on to the apron but before he slides it in he turns to the camera.

CAINE: I ain’t paid by the hour: this one is done and we’re going home, still your Tag Team Cha—

Conor gets a face-full of ladder as Rogers baseball slides across the ring - having entered while Omega was distracted fending off an attempt by DOOM to get on the ringsteps - and the crowd goes crazy.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Red Pirate Rogers appears to be feeling it, he steps out on to the ring apron and smiles at the crowd.

Beeman: I don't like the look of this...
LeRay: Caine is down and Rogers may...yes! Springing on the second rope for a moonsault!
He connects and Conor Caine rolls over, while Rogers springs up.

Beeman: Omega, get over there! Conor needs you!
LeRay: Omega's got his hands full with DOOM, who looks to be grabbing him for a bear hug, that's going to give Rogers time to go for another Moonsault...he's back up and...OH!
Conor gets to a knee and slides the ladder underneath Rogers falling body leaving the Scarlet Sailor to deliver a moonsault to the ladder and end up draped over the metal like a wet rag.
Beeman: What strength! What stamina! It's not human, I tell ya!
LeRay: I actually agree with you...what is going on in Conor Caine? And what's going on in Dr. Zamboni's office?

[Pierre The Enormous]

*The KC is watching Glory from Troglo's room*

Troglo: DOOM AND RED FRIEND SMASH PUNY MASK MAN!!!!!!!!

Pierre: *I hype Troglo up by roaring*

Huggy: *roars as well*

Troglo: *begins jumping up and down which causes a mini quake*

[Omega Satyros]

Omega, in the bearhug, begins pounding on DOOM with elbows. DOOM releases him, via release suplex into the turnbuckle. Omega's legs hang on the top rope with DOOM moving to the opposite corner, looking to charge. He's barrelling down, ready to crush the satyr.

Beeman: GET OUT OF THERE OMEGA.

LeRay: Go DOOM, crush that jerk.

Omega pulls himself up just in time, horns scraping at DOOM's legs. The big man slams right into the turnbuckle pads, bouncing off and stumbling to the ground. Conor sees the opportunity, and grabs a chair as Omega delivers a Satyr-Sault to DOOM.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LERAY: A chairshot from Caine across the back of Rogers as he lies on the ladder!
BEEMAN: Oooh, a real tenderizer!

Satisfied that Rogers won't be getting up any time soon, Conor goes under the ring apron and pulls out a table. He slides it into the ring where Omega is waiting to receive it and set it up. Caine takes another look at Rogers, not moving; Caine hesitates a moment before climbing into the ring.

LERAY: Things aren't looking good for DOOM right now! He's all alone with Domination Inc!

Caine nods to Omega who leaps up to the top turnbuckle opposite the table in a single leap. Conor looks at DOOM, who's starting to stir from the Satyr-Sault...

LERAY: Surely Caine doesn't think he can lift DOOM up??
BEEMAN: He has been showing some superhuman strength lately!

Indeed, Conor grabs DOOM by the mask and gets him to his feet - DOOM still looking half-conscious - and positions himself back to back with the big man.  The audience hold their collective breath as Conor reaches back, hooks under DOOM's arms - he pulls DOOM on to his back.

BEEMAN: He's gonna do it, LeRay! He's gonna press that huge man over his head!

With considerable effort, Caine does it: he hoists DOOM up overhead in a crucifix position! The crowd can't deny their awe and cheer as Conor strains to hold DOOM up, his teeth clenched and veins popping over his red face.  Omega takes the leap off the turnbuckle and hits a two-hoofed stomp on DOOM as Caine powerbombs him, sending the lucha-pirate through the table to a huge pop... which quickly transforms to a "F**K YOU DOM INC!" chant.

LERAY: It's not humanly possible! The Professional Wrestler Of DOOM has been broken in half! Domination Inc are going to retain their titles!!!

Caine is still recovering from the exertion of powerbombing DOOM, who is laid out in the rubble of a shattered table. It's up to Omega, who hops outside to grab the ladder Red Pirate Rogers was laid out on moments before... but Rogers isn't there!

[Omega Satyros]

Omega ignores the Auburn Absentee and begins climbing, he's at the top when Red rushes into the ring and up the ladder. Omega and Red begin trading blows.

LeRay: Veteran instincts and recovery as Red rushes to prevent The Alpha & Omega from retaining.

Beeman: Damnit, just stay down Rogers.

Caine and DOOM slowly make their way up. Conor's looking to tip over the ladder, but DOOM makes it to his feet in time to oppose his push, eventually sending the ladder down onto Caine and Omega and Red tumbling to the outside. DOOM then picks up Conor and hurls him on top of the wreckage. He grabs the ladder and hesitates to climb.


Beeman: Oh come on, he's scared of cheese, he's scared of ladders or heights or whatever.

LeRay: Come on DOOM, you can do it.

[The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM]

DOOM looks up and down the ladder. He looks around at the carnage. He looks back to the ladder and up to the tag team titles hung up high. DOOM puts one foot on the bottom rung and grips the steels. The. He lets go and steps back shaking his head. He switches his eye patch from right to left and it sparks an idea. He tubbily runs to ringside to hoist up his partner’s crushed carcass and Carrie’s Red to the ladder.

Beeman: He’s not conscious you buffoon!

DOOM props Rogers’ dazed body onto the middle of ladder, pushing him halfway up. Meanwhile, Caine and Omega begin to sit up and gather their bearings to spy DOOM, back to back with Red, cartoonishly forcing him up the ladder with minimal success.

[Thumper Moore III]

HONEST SAL: I’m here with the challenger to Penguino’s Openweight Championship next week, Thumper Moore III. Thumper, it looks like you are at more peace this week than you have been since your arrival here in JWA.

THUMPER: Sincere Salvatore, JWA fans— Greetings, and salutations. You are perceptive as always. I am at ease this week. Domination Inc is otherwise either preoccupied with their tag title match, worried about defending their title against Big Daddy Duke, or suspended. This smile on my face is as honest as you are.

SAL: You seem to have angered each member of Donination Inc this week individually. Is this a wise strategy heading into your match with Penguino?

THUMPER: Clearly, you and I are of one mind tonight. While no one member of their clan of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells has the chops to deny these fans the opportunity to revel in my splendor, the group are as dangerous as a pack of wolves. I fully expect that they will try to get involved in my match next week, and I will be ready.

SAL: What do you mean?

THUMPER: I mean, I’d like to be as certain as possible that I and our tuxedoed champion have as fair a match as humanly, and avianly possible. So, Penguino, so that our match can be contested fairly, I propose that the match be fought in an empty arena, disclosed only to you, me, Kobra, the referee, and the camera crew. No interference from Shenanigans Inc, just a fair fight between a grown man and a grown waterfowl.

SAL: The ball is in Penguino’s court now— what a unique challenge laid out by Thumper Moore III.

THUMPER: Esquire, Salvatore. Thumper Moore III Esquire.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Conor and Omega sneak into the ring on the opposite side of the ladder, unseen by DOOM who has his back to them. The Alpha and Omega whisper to each other and gesture at the belts. Conor holds the ladder, eyeing DOOM cautiously, as Omega scales the ladder quiet as a cat.

LERAY: DOOM has turned his back on the prize and Domintion Inc are going to steal it right from under his nose
BEEMAN: or from over his head!

Omega is almost at the top of the ladder when his ankle is grabbed through the rungs by a panicked, grasping Rogers.

LERAY: Rogers is awake, and he's trying to stop Omega!
BEEMAN: Fat chance! Just look at the predicent he's in!

DOOM's haphazard attempt to shove Rogers up the ladder has left the Crimson Corsair's legs stuffed between the rungs halfway up.

LERAY: He's stuck! The Pirates of DOOM's path to the titles is blocked!

Omega kicks at Red's hands and manages to get free! He makes it to the top of the ladder. Red looks at his options and starts to kick the supports between the two sides of the ladder.

LERAY: He's going to collapse the ladder!
BEEMAN: But he's in the middle of it!

Red kicks the supports and the ladder buckles! Omega falls off and the ladder closes, but DOOM janks Red out before he gets crushed.

LERAY: Spear! SPEAR FROM CAINE ON DOOM AND RED PIRATE ROGERS!!!
BEEMAN: Omega's down! DOOM is down! Rogers is down!
LERAY: Caine is going for the ladder!!!

[The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM]

Connor Caine rolls to the outside and cockily pulls a fresh ladder into the ring. He smashes Rogers with it for good measure and methodically stand it up on the center of the ring. He climbs, ring by ring as the JWA faithful surround him in a chorus of boos. As he nears the top his legs are swept apart and he drops down onto DOOM’s shoulders, as the bumbling behemoth has him pulled away from the ladder. Caine begins to rain punches onto DOOM’s head, but DOOM staggers him away from the ladder and turns him toward the rope where Red Rogers springs from the top rope with an epic clothesline that sends all three men crumbling on top of the old broken ladder.

LeRay: Pirates Of DOOMsday Device! Onto the already destroyed ladder!!