JWA Glory Episode 200 - Six-Person Tag Match

[Kip Whistler]

It's the 200th episode of JWA Glory, and to celebrate this momentous occasion we've got an incredible main event in store. That's right, it's a six-person tag team preview battle for next week's Super Glory! World Heavyweight Champion "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex will team with her Domination, Inc. compatriots, the World Tag Team Champions "Charismatic" Conor Caine and "The Closer" Omega Satyros to take on their respective challengers for next week, Duke Mongoose, Red Pirate Rogers and The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM! Both sides will be looking to gain the all important momentum heading into next week's championship matches. Who will come out on top? We'll find out soon enough!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Penguino successfully retained the JWA Openweight Championship last week against Thumper Moore III, but unfortunately it was another match tainted by the involvement of Domination, Inc. Clearly the issues between Moore and Domination, Inc. have yet to be resolved, but Penguino continues to be their accidental beneficiary. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Penguino is in cahoots with Domination, Inc...

Things have certainly come to a head in regards to the "Lord" Taylor Thorin/Artemis/Lady Diana Gallus/Tembleberry (or should I say Thimbleberry?) situation. In order to settle this, we will be having a mixed tag team match at Super Glory next week! The Lord and Lady will take on Artemis and Thimbleberry. Hopefully that will resolve their issue in a sufficient manner.

Also taking place at next week's Super Glory will be the in-ring debut of Bayou Burl as he takes on Pierre The Enormous. However, it may be Burl's "friend" The Fright who shows up instead. How will Pierre handle such an unpredictable foe? And will Pierre be looking past Burl to his Openweight Championship match coming up the following week? We expect to hear from Pierre and Killie's Crew, as well as take another trip to the Butterfly Room this week.

Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Duke Mongoose]

("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol plays and Duke Mongoose makes his way through the curtain and to the ring. He looks as confident as ever)

LeRay: It looks like Duke is going to enter on his own rather than alongside his teammates.

Beeman: Big Daddy Duke doesn't need their dead weight dragging him down.

LeRay: I would think he would want all the help he can get, going up against Domination, Inc.

Beeman: Duke doesn't need help. Did you see the match he had on Mania?

LeRay: Yeah, he needed an eye gouge behind the ref's back to defeat a retired female competitor.

Beeman: AHEM! Duke Mongoose defeated living legend Lyndi Harker with the Cobra Clutch! Fair warning to Winter Hex!

LeRay: Oh brother. As Duke poses in the ring, we now await the arrival of his partners, as well as that of Domination, Inc.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*KC and I are watching Glory*

Jax: What's your game plan against BB?

Pierre: Do what Zona taught me for my match against Slash... focus on what's real and not what's an illusion...

Jax: I see... and for your match for the Openweight title?

Pierre: Throw my weight around and mayhaps get some singles hardware...

[Bayou Burl]

The titantron perhaps predictably cuts once again to the intro for Burls Butterfly Room. Burl stands in the middle of the room looking very pleased with himself, a ladder set up by the Wall of Forgotten Friends

"Hi kids! Welcome back once again to the Butterfly Room! I won't be keeping you for very long this week, because I need to get back to training for the big match, but there are still a few things I need to do! Firstly! There seems to be a bit of confusion as to who exactly it is Pierre will be facing next week, so I wanna clear that up! Ol' Uncle Burl won't be anywhere near that ring next week, the big man will be facing The Fright and The Fright alone!"

The camera twitches and glitches at the name. Burl gestures over to the Wall of Forgotten Friends.

"Secondly! We're gonna do something here today that we've never, ever done before! You see, the purpose of our Wall of Forgotten Friends is to keep the memories of those we've forgotten about alive! All those who, for one reason or another, we forgot about and who aren't around anymore to remind us of 'em...They go here so we can still remember all they did. But that also means that if people are still around, then there's no point in having them on the wall! We've put loads of people on it, and more will surely be added in time, but now for the first time in Butterfly Room history someone has the honour of being taken OFF the wall! They're back!"

The children cheer at the revelation as Burl walks over and climbs a few rungs of the stepladder. He reaches to the topmost picture - the picture of Slashmaster - and takes it off the wall. He holds it in his hands and stares at for a few seconds. He lets out a slight smile. Burl then climbs down and places it on the floor before turning back to the camera again.

"There! Now that's done, the last thing I wanna do is talk to Pierre before the big match next week. Nobody is ever, EVER going to forget what they see next week at Super Glory, and also that means that nobody is ever going to forget him! He'll never be confined to our wall - lovely as it is - and Pierre the Enormous can rest easy knowing that one way or another he will be one of the lucky few to be truly immortalised. However, I want you to remember something as well, Pierre. Whatever happens next week, this could've all been avoided. You chose for this to happen. You wanted this to be your legacy. Sure, you could say being remembered is always better than being forgotten and that either way we're doing you a favour...But we gave you a choice on how you wanted to be remembered. And you chose the painful path."

Burl's sinister side comes out once more.

"Think of your legacy, Pierre. It could've been that of a fierce giant, even more fierce with the help we offered you...But now you'll be remembered as a beaten, broken body beneath The Fright's feet. Was that choice worth all the agony it's going to put you through? There's no escaping it now. We'll see you next week, Pierre."

The Fright flashes on screen as Burl laughs and the camera cuts to black.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*KC and I are still watching Glory and BBBR has wrapped up*

Jax: Any changes to your plan?

Pierre: I will stay focused... The Fright is a beast and I know not to take things lightly...

Jax: Godspeed big guy...

Pierre: Thanks Boss...

[Red Pirate Rogers]

"Accordion" by MF Doom plays, and the Greatest Wrestler/Pirate of DOOM and Red Pirate/Wrestler Rogers emerge...holding between them...one tag team title belt.

Beeman: What are those no-goodniks doing with that belt? Omega found the belt that Rogers hid in Domination Inc.'s toilet! So what's that one!!
LeRay: I don't know, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'll bet that we're going to get an explanation soon...

The Pirates of DOOM strut down the aisle DOOM now being offered dozens of drinks to choose from, while Rogers gives his usual high fives, until they walk up the steps and DOOM takes the belt while Rogers calls for a microphone.

RPR: Knowing that everyone came here to watch some wrestling, I'll keep this brief...you may notice that my partner and I have one of the Tag Team belts...the same belt, in fact, that I grabbed from atop the ladder in our last title match. But, you may also know that Omega Satyros has obsessed over this glistering gold so much that he tried to hunt me...and this...down...only to find what he needed right under his nose all along. 

(Omega has come out to the top of the entrance, scowling...Conor and Winter are close behind trying to hold him back for now)

RPR: Oh, there you are!! I know you don't care a wit for what I have to say, Omega, and that, by your logic I'm a cruel, vindictive, cowardly sneak. I'm certainly not perfect, but whatever I'm doing here, I'm doing to help you. Help you break away from that toxic obsession, from our deluded champion, and your quackery-endorsing partner. Take a second, Omega, and take a good look at that belt...that little thingamajig in your hands. (He does so...) It might have faded a bit in its...musty hiding spot...but hold the buckle strap to the light...(he does so)...you'll see it says..."JWA Official Replica Tag Team Belt". Available now at JWA.com for just $249.99 (Destruction Inc. looks livid, while Rogers turns to the corner where DOOM is beaming and even Duke looks pleased to see Domination Inc get some comeuppance)...you know Duke, you could always just put in an order and forego your usual embarrassing defeat. (The mocking smile Duke was wearing fades)

Just think Omega...you were proud, and confident, and eager to kick my behind with nothing behind you but pleather and pyrite. So maybe...this (takes the belt from DOOM) isn't as important as you've been led to believe...maybe this...is just a symbol of something you already know...it's not about our awards, or our trophies, it's about putting on a hell of a show for these incredible people out here. (Fans cheer) But if it's so important to you...you're welcome to have it (he drops it in the middle of the ring)...for one more week...then we're going to take it back, and FORCE you to confront the bitter truth...for now though...let's get to this...shall we?

[The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM]

i was asked to delete this post

[Omega Satyros]

Omega, Winter, and Conor stand at the top of the entrance ramp, Winter in a stunning sterling silver entrance dress, The Alpha & Omega in matching silver ring gear. Conor Caine has a look of vitriol, Winter's face is aghast at Red's juvenile trickery, and Omega has a glint of murder in his eyes. All three stand at the top of the entrance ramp, mentally coming to terms with Red's announcement. Red soaks in the fans laughing at Domination Inc.'s misfortune, motioning for them to come down to the ring. DOOM and Duke are stood in their corner, DOOM laughing along, Duke mildly annoyed at Red.

The fans, both in the arena and at home feel paused in the moment, a moment that doesn't end until a loud bang is heard, their attention moves from the entrance ramp to the ring, where DOOM and Duke have been pulled from the corner and Red lies at the feet of Black Cat. A replay plays on the JerkTron, revealing Black Cat and Butler Bruce hopping the barricade near the challenger's corner and stripping the Lucha-Pirate and "Hollywood" from their positions, Red is still staring down the entrance ramp, returning the daggerous look from Omega, until Black Cat enters the ring and plants him face first on the Tag Title Belt with a Lights Out DDT. Sound tunes back in as fans rain boos down. Domination Inc. run down to the ring, Winter around to begin laying A-List fists into Duke, Conor slides into the ring, only to dive out onto DOOM, and Omega rushes to deliver a series of brutal forearms to the dazed Crimson Corsair. Referee Jay Fairweather calls for the bell and the start of the match.

LeRay: The challengers, The Pirates of MonDOOM as Omega termed them, were on top of the world until Domination Inc.'s damn lackeys got involved.

Beeman: Not only had the match not started yet, but Black Cat also had every right to want some payback on Red Pirate Rogers, who pulled AOE's nerdiest dnd-obsessed faction into his scheme, costing him his record-setting Hardcore Title reign.

LeRay: Well the match is officially underway as Omega begins laying nasty hoof-stomps to Roger's midsection. Winter and Conor Caine send DOOM and Duke in what would be a collision course, if not for the ring post that catches both of them on the head.

Beeman: I hate to see the legend of Duke Mongoose stoop to this depth, stood alongside the men who ruined the Forever Champs. I'd love so much for Duke to just wave off this match and leave the Pirates of DOOM to suffer, and be 100% going into Super Glory.

[Duke Mongoose]

(As Caine and Winter look to continue the attack outside the ring on Duke & DOOM, both catch a blow to their midsections. DOOM stands rapidly and catches Caine with an inadvertent jawbreaker, while Duke grabs Winter by the hair)

LeRay: Duke and DOOM have turned the tables on their opponents outside the ring, and now Duke is dragging Winter up the ramp!

Beeman: DOOM looks confused, like he didn't expect Conor to be dazed. Does he realize what he's done?

LeRay: That jawbreaker looked unintentional, so maybe he was expecting Conor to be guns-blazing. Meanwhile, Duke and Winter are at the entrance way and Duke has pulled out a steel chair from the fans at ringside. Don't tell me he's going to hit her with it?

Beeman: No way! Duke is a gentleman!

(Duke sets up the chair and takes a seat, pulling Winter down across his lap. Duke rears back with his right hand)

LeRay: Is he going to... OH MY! Duke just SPANKED our world champion!

Beeman: From the look on Winter's face, I think she liked it.

LeRay: Would you stop! This is absolute madness!

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Meanwhile, DOOM has been sending Caine reeling around ringside with a series of clubbing blows to the upper back - each shot sends Conor staggering further and further around the ring, until he ends up clutching the barrier at the bottom of the ramp for balance. He looks up the walkway just in time to see the spanking.

LERAY: Conor Caine just saw the buttslap!
BEEMAN: He does not look happy!

The adrenaline rush snaps Conor back to fighting form. Without a thought he swings a leg back at an advancing DOOM and catches his attacker between the legs.

LERAY: Low blow to DOOM!
BEEMAN: It's all legal if you're not the legal man!

Conor stumbles on to the rampway; his stumble becomes a jog as he tries to find balance, which he does just as he reaches the halfway point to his target. Conor picks up speed and sprints towards Duke, who's still seated with Winter across his lap.

LERAY: Conor is barrelling down on Mongoose and Hex! Duke shoves Winter aside but it's too late!!!
BEEMAN: Spear! Conor knocked Mongoose through the chair and into next week!
LERAY: And he's not stopping: Conor is pounding on Mongoose on the floor, as Winter lays in kicks for good measure!

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Meanwhile, back in the ring...

Omega Satyros flings a dazed Rogers into the ropes and on his return monkey flips him up and over the ropes into the entrance way melee, he lands on his partner as he was getting up to his knees and the Pirates sprawl out near the continued clobbering of Conor and Winter Hex.

Omega pursues sliding out of the ring and storming towards the mischievous mariners, but they surprise him with a double knee to the gut and then a double vertical suplex crashing Omega back into his Domination, Inc stable mates. From the pile of humanity, they extract Duke and help him back to the ring rolling in to start a ten count.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: The referee’s count is at a five and Domination Inc are just beginning to stir!
Beeman: You can’t beat a Champion via count-out!
LeRay: There are no titles on the line tonight but you make a point, Sean: A count out victory wouldn’t give The Pirates of DOOM or Duke Mongoose as much momentum going into Super Glory next week!

The ref’s count is at seven and Domination Inc are helping each other up and strategizing. They nod in unison…

LeRay: Hex and Caine are rushing the ring but the referee gets between them and their opponents!
Beeman: But isn’t Omega the legal man??

Before LeRay can answer, Omega comes soaring into view, having vaulted from the floor to the apron, and from apron to top rope while the ref and The Pirates of Duke’s views were blocked by Hex and Caine.

LeRay: Omega comes in with a springboard crossbody on Rogers and DOOM!
Beeman: What a spectacle!
LeRay: Caine and Winter Hex fight DOOM and Duke out of the ring before heading back to their corner!
Beeman: Caine and Hex are telling the ref to count Rogers’ shoulders to the mat, and it’s about time somebody told an official how to do their jobs around here!

[Omega Satyros]

1. 2.
And Omega lifts the Crimson Corsair's shoulder, a sheer look of hatred in his eyes. He gets up off Rogers to the shock and confusion of seemingly everyone. He begins stomping away at Roger's left leg. Red shouts in agony.

LeRay: Why would he break up the pin like that.

Beeman: Momentum is one thing, punishment is another. Omega knows that tonight is just the precursor to next week. And when it comes to a Texas Death Match, any weakness can be exploited, repeatedly. It'll be hard for Rogers to run his high octane offense if he can run.

Omega glares down at Rogers, who's clutching his leg in pain, before turning the the crowd, mocking their injured hero. The showboating costs him as Rogers drags himself to the corner to tag DOOM in. Conor and Winter are trying to get his attention as DOOM storms in, crushing him in his corner, Conor himself in.

Beeman: I'll remind you that Winter's meteoric rise to the top started by toppling DOOM. And while Caine has beef, or maybe salami, with DOOM that will for sure be counted on next week, Winter can absolutely step in and demolish any one of their opponents here tonight.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LERAY: A forearm smash to the side of the head takes DOOM by surprise!
BEEMAN: Omega's taking the tag window to give DOOM a receipt in the form of right hooks to the dome!
LERAY: DOOM is deep in enemy territory and is looking worse for wear as Conor scales the turnbuckle from the outside... Diving Clothesline on to DOOM!

BEEMAN: He's still going!
LERAY: Conor rolls through off that clotheslines and runs straight into the oppositions corner! A lariat knocks a recovering Red Pirate Rogers to the apron!

Caine looks at Duke who just laughs and holds his hands up. 

LERAY: The enemy of my enemy is not always my friend!

Conor goes to rush out of the corner at DOOM as he's getting up, but Duke sticks a leg between the ropes and trips Conor. Conor looks up at Duke who mocks a slippery floor and then shrugs.

LERAY: Of course, Conor Caine might have made an enemy of Duke all by himself with that attack last week...
BEEMAN: ALLEGED attack! But Duke could be right, the mat might just happen to also be slippery here tonight. Coincidences happen, y'know?

[Artemis]

Lady Diana: Artemis, I caught that little explainer you put out. And I get it. You and Thimbleberry feel like you're kindred spirits betrayed by those you trusted. Because neither of you can handle the prospect that you were the betrayers. Thimbleberry throws away years of his relationship with Thorin basically because of a vowel shift. I don't doubt that he'd built up years of resentment, but Thorin has shown he cared about him. I have to believe he'd have been open if at any point in the past two years he simply spoke up and clarified the mistake.

But no, both of you find more comfort in your pain, than you would in resolution. Thimbleberry found the resentment he was harboring more comforting than the prospect of addressing the issue. Artemis, you push yourself to the breaking point of your psyche time and time again because it's easier to shatter the mirror than to look at your reflection and see your flaws. You'd both rather break your surroundings than fix yourselves

Artemis steps out on the ramp, officials rushing to fill in the entrance ramp and keep them separated.

Artemis: Thorin took his name for two long years, you took my name and ran it into the mud. You don't get to come out here and wax some faux philosophy as if I'm some dumb kid who doesn't want to handle the truth. You called me "Shattered". And if I'm going to be "Shattered" just because you don't like how I react to unearned failure, then what's the point in chasing whatever lofty hypotheticals you want to propose. If my base state is "Shattered", then shatter I will. I will shatter the J1 Pinnacle, I will shatter the Openweight Title, I will shatter everything in this gods-damned company I have to to show each and every one of you that I'm right.

Thimbleberry emerges from the crowd of officials, plowing Diana down with a clothesline.

Artemis: And it starts next week, when me and Thimbles shatter the chain you two 'heroes' claim to hold over us and our names. We will make our names known, and respected. If I'm "Shattered", then we all will be shattered.