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Post by Kip Whistler on Sept 24, 2024 17:18:06 GMT -5
Before I get into this week's business, I want to take a moment to thank Dyno for filling in for me last week and keeping this ship sailing. This job isn't the easiest thing in the world, but it's good to know I have people I can rely on should I need them.
This week's main event stems from the ongoing issues between Red Pirate Rogers and Domination, Inc. Last week Rogers made the challenge to Conor Caine for a match where, should Rogers be victorious, then Caine will be subject to an Independent Medical Examination so that we can get to the bottom of the suspicious and somewhat dubious "medicine" Caine has been receiving from Dr. Zamboni. However, should Caine be the winner tonight, then Rogers will be unable to challenge for any championship held by a member of Domination, Inc. ever again. The stakes are high and the tension is even higher! Who will stand tall in the end?
Speaking of standing tall, quite literally, Pierre The Enormous is our new Openweight Champion following his victory last week over Penguino. The big man is a multi-time tag team champion but this is his first singles gold in JWA. We expect to hear from the new champ and the rest of Killie's Crew during the broadcast.
As for Penguino, despite losing the Openweight title, he's got to be considered a top contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, currently held by Duke Mongoose. There's no lack of history between those two, so a title match between the two would be very intriguing. We will be "blessed" with the presence of our new World Champion tonight since he has returned from his vacation. Funny how he and I took a break at the same time...
It seems that we are on a collision course for a bout between Lady Diana Gallus and Artemis, as their personal issues have yet to be resolved, as evidenced by Artemis' attack on Lady Diana last week.
We also seem to be headed toward a match between Bayou Burl and Slashmaster, as it was revealed last week that Burl was the one responsible for Slash's absence over the past year. What will happen when these two forces meet in a JWA ring?
Thumper Moore III is on the lookout for a tag team partner to help him take down our champions Conor Caine & Omega Satyros of Domination, Inc. Has he set his sights on anyone yet? Perhaps we'll find out this week.
Mack Caliber appears to have taken his breakup with Winter Hex much worse than anyone could have expected. I wonder how his meeting with Yuppie VP may have helped him put things into perspective.
Let's get this show underway. Get out there and work your gimmick!
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Sept 24, 2024 17:35:33 GMT -5
Honest Sal: Please welcome my guest at this time, the NEW JWA World Heavyweight Champion Duke Mongoose!
(The crowd boos as Duke makes his way through the curtain and to the podium. He is dressed in a gold tuxedo complete with a golden top hat. In place of a cummerbund is the JWA World Heavyweight Championship belt)
Sal: Duke, welcome back, and congratulations on your big win.
Duke: SALLY BOY! It was only a matter of time before Big Daddy Duke had the richest prize in our sport around his waist. I didn't leave the comfortable commentary job I had to get back in the ring just for kicks. I came back because I had unfinished business. A goal that had eluded me in my first run. Not anymore! You're looking at The Golden Mongoose! I did it Nonna!
(Duke steps away from the podium, removes the title belt and gives it a big kiss)
Sal: Now that you're the champion, the question turns to who will be your first challenger. A lot of people think it should be Penguino, but Domination, Inc. have seemingly nominated Mack Caliber as well.
Duke: Mack Caliber? That kid's so broken up over Winter that he doesn't know if he's coming or going! I wouldn't trust him to sit the right way on a toilet seat right now, let alone get in the ring with me. As for my boy, Penguino? He had a heck of a run as the Openweight Champion, and I know darn well what he's capable of in the ring. Do I think he deserves a title match with me? That's for Whistler to decide.
Sal: You've struggled in the past in singles matches with Penguino. Do you think he's a greater threat to your title than Caliber?
Duke: Why do you always ruin the mood, Sal? You need to go call your grandmother. This interview is over.
(Duke walks away from the podium, slightly less enthusiastic than when he came out)
Sal: I guess we'll wait and see who the next challenger will be. Mick & Sean - back to you!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Sept 24, 2024 17:38:02 GMT -5
The JWA audience begins booing immediately as Domination Inc’s theme plays and Conor Caine steps through the curtain.
LERAY: Caine is coming to the ring by himself tonight: is he planning on actually giving Rogers a fair fight, or can we expect Mack Caliber and Omega Satyros to make an appearance?
BEEMAN: It’s a No Holds Barred Match dummy, there’s no such thing as a fair fight in this scenario! Rogers practically invited Domination Inc’s involvement when he proposed the stipulation!
Conor sneers at the hostile audience and begins making his way to the ring, mouthing off at fans the whole time.
ANNOUNCER: The following bout has a sixty minute time limit and is A No Holds Barred match where Falls Count Anywhere! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 265lbs, from Providence Rhode Island, “The Charismatic” Conor Caine!
Caine is already in the ring, pacing and snorting like a caged beast.
LERAY: Conor Caine isn’t his usual condescending self - he can hardly contain his disdain for Red Pirate Rogers!
BEEMAN: Shoot the canons already and get the buffoons out here so Conor can beat him to a pulp!
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Sept 24, 2024 22:07:58 GMT -5
*The KC and I are having a bacchanalia worthy of giants*
*I grab a giant tankard of beer*
Pierre: To food to friends and to Killies CHEERS!
*I chug the beer and grin*
Jax: Hell yeah!
Troglo: *roars in delight*
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Sept 24, 2024 22:11:23 GMT -5
As if taking cues from Savvy Sean, cannons do blast, Gilbert and Sullivan play and Rogers emerges.
Wink: and his opponent, from the Seven Seas…Red Piiiiraaaate RRRRROOOOOOOOGERS!!!!
LeRay: I have to say Sean while Rogers is usually composed and cool, something about Conor Caine seems to be deep under his skin, in a way I’ve never seen before…not Omega, not Mack, not Vinny Bambino, or Taylor Thorin, or Jessie Aldean, not Yuppie VP, not even the Niz! nobody has made him this mad.
Sean: probably because Rogers is too dumb to know how much people hate him.
LeRay: oh stop it!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Sept 25, 2024 0:21:49 GMT -5
The bell rings to start the match...
LERAY: Rogers steps up to tie up with Conor, and while Caine has the advantage in strength… BEEMAN: Advantage?!? Rogers isn’t within 5 zip codes of Caine’s strength!
Cain does push Rogers down to one knee, but Roger’s turns it into an arm drag and throws him across the ring. Conor is a little surprised, but looks like he won’t let it happen againLERAY: The tension is thick here in this early stage! Scowling, he uses the ropes at either side to hoist himself back to standing in the corner; he doesn’t break eye contact with Rogers, who bows theatrically, inviting Conor to lock up again. Conor spits on the mat and makes his back to the center of the ring.
LERAY: Another collar and elbow tie up… both men jockeying for an advantage… Conor slips and hand free and— EYE GOUGE! Conor with a thumb right in Rogers’ eye! BEEMAN: It’s all legal in No Holds Barred! LERAY: Still appying that pressure to Rogers’ eye socket, Caine forces Rogers into the corner!
Conor shoves Red into the turnbuckles and follows up with a stiff right hand, and another. He proceeds to kick and stomp Rogers down to a seated position.
BEEMAN: This is the kind of match I came to see tonight! A one-sided one where Red Pirate Rogers gets beaten to a bloody pulp! LERAY: Like you said, it’s all legal in a No Holds Barred match but it isn’t lost on anybody in attendance that Conor Caine was quickly bested in a straight up wrestling contest and quickly went to cheap tactics!
Rogers is stunned, in a seated position in the corner: Conor hits the ropes and comes back at Rogers with a sliding clothesline into the corner.
LERAY: Rogers slips out under the bottom rope and Caine slides chest first into the bottom rope!
Conor’s now stunned, slumped over the bottom rope in a seat position. Rogers hops to his feet on the outside, he takes a second to blink some sight back into the gouged eye before hoping on the middle rope and hitting a springboard leg drop across the back of Caine’s neck.
LERAY: Caine’s neck ricochets back off the bottom rope and he hits his head hard on the mat! |
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Sept 25, 2024 7:33:44 GMT -5
LeRay: Rogers sees Conor dazed and...I think he's concerned.
(Rogers calls over to referee Jay Fairweather to check on Caine)
Beeman: What an idiot! This is no holds barred and you stop to make sure the other guy is alright?
LeRay: Do you expect anything less from the Pirate King?
(Rogers stands next to Caine as Fairweather leans down to check for a concussion, Conor goes to the Mike Tyson playbook)
LeRay: Oh my! Did Conor Caine just bite the Scarlet SeaDog?
(Yes...yes he did...there's a little blood by Rogers ear and he looks shocked as Conor sneers)
LeRay: OH what a slap from Rogers to Caine there, and Rogers now grabs Caine and pulls him out to the floor.
Beeman: Conor Caine, I think I love you!
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Post by “heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber on Sept 25, 2024 7:58:13 GMT -5
I’m backstage and Toni Cruise tries to catch a word with me. I’m wearing the tattered tux top and jorts. She looks repulsed as she sees me, and stands far away while putting a microphone in my face.
Toni, I’m glad you’ve dropped all the pretense.
I had a talk with Yuppie, and now it all makes sense.
You all have been disingenuous to me.
But now, knowing what you all think helps make me free.
I don’t have to pretend to be a Pirate King.
A rapper, a poet, a movie star’s plaything.
I’ve had an awakening, I’ve been granted sight.
Mackenzie Caliber has seen the light!
As to the matter of my looks— I’ve come to a conclusion.
This loverboy persona was my mind’s illusion.
I will no longer be the scapegoat. In any case—
This will be the last time you see my face.
I walk away as Toni looks troubled and a bit confused.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Sept 25, 2024 8:55:42 GMT -5
LERAY: A right hand from Rogers to Caine! Caine returns one of his own! Rogers straight back with another strike! Caine! Rogers! Caine! BEEMAN: They’re beating each other all around the ringside! LERAY: Rogers ducks a punch from Conor! European Uppercut from Rogers! Conor staggers, he regains his footing and swings again — another slip by Rogers leaves Conor open to a second European Uppercut! And another! The fans are on their feet as Rogers takes advantage!
Conor flails around ringside as Rogers continues to take his frustrations out in a series of tight hands that Conor can’t seem to evade. One particularly punishing blows sends Caine spilling into the timekeepers area.
LERAY: Conor Caine grabs the timekeepers bell and swings wildly as Rogers approaches! Rogers ducks at the last second but it’s not enough to evade the bell! BEEMAN: DING! LERAY: Conor didn’t get all of it but it’s enough to floor The Crimson Corsair! He goes for the pin, and he’s grabbing Rogers’ tights!
Rogers is kicking before the referee even begins his count but, even still, with Caine holding the tights it’s almost a three count before he manages to kick out. Conor looks furious as he staggers out of shot. Rogers takes a second to check his head.
BEEMAN: If he’s not split open he’ll have a nasty bump tomorrow!
Rogers looks around for Conor, who’s circled around behind him now carrying the timekeepers chair. Caine brings the chair down on Rogers’ back and the fans visible wince at the impact.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Sept 25, 2024 10:42:58 GMT -5
“Ooooh, that’s a rough one,” says Thumper Moore III as he watches the match backstage on a monitor. Toni Cruisr walks up behind Thumper and taps him on the shoulder, causing him to swing around with his fist. He only stops inches from Toni’s face.
“My apologies, one can never be too careful around here. Toni, greetings and salutations. To what do I owe the honor?”
“Thumper, how goes the search for a tag team partner?”
Thumper holds his hand to his chin, pondering the question, and responds. “Antoinette, it is a difficult thing you ask me to assess. I am one week closer to finding a tag partner worthy of my prodigious talents and yet I feel no closer. We are still in the process of scouting at this juncture.”
Thumper returns to watching the match. He then says over his shoulder, “Perhaps a pirate or two would like to revel in my splendor in a loose partnership, should he be victorious today?”
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Post by Bayou Burl on Sept 25, 2024 11:15:15 GMT -5
The titantron plays the theme for Burl's Butterfly Room, but it doesn't cut to an episode. Instead, Burl in his regular persona comes down to the ring for the first time. He waves to the audience, yelling "Hello everyone", "It's so good to you!", "I love you all!" as he comes down to the ring.
LeRay: "For the unincited this is Bayou Burl, formally The Manhattan Mauler...He's been back for a little while now and he hosts what he seems to think is a children's tv show, but barring a match from his alter-ego The Fright, this is the first time we've seen him live in the studio and not on the big screen..."
Burl reaches the ring and gestures for a microphone. He takes it and begins to speak:
"Hello everyone! It's so good to finally be back here in the JWA studio after so long! I missed you all so much, LeRay, Beeman, my buddies - how are we doing?"
Beeman: "Please don't talk to me--"
"--I'm so glad to hear that! I wanna talk to you all today about fear, and I wanna talk to you all about Slashmaster! You all know Slashmaster, don't you? And I'm sure all of you fear Slashmaster, don't you? And who could blame you? He's tall, muscly, silent, wears a super creepy mask - he's scary!! Well I know him the best out of anybody! Because I've seen him in a way that none of you have seen him: I've seen him at his weakest. I have seen Slashmaster beaten, broken, bloody and destroyed. I know the real Slashmaster. The real Slashmaster has nothing except for fear. I know that, Arizona Chance now knows that, and soon I will expose that to the rest of you. If you do not fear Slashmaster he cannot hurt you. And I don't fear Slashmaster. That's why I'm here today in the studio: I challenge Slashmaster, with the knowledge of that and all I've done to him before in his mind, to come down to the ring and face me 1 on 1."
Burl turns to the entrance way and sticks his arms out. He waits...
Beeman: "Are we gonna see those two go at it??
He waits...
LeRay: "I-I still don't know if this is wise on Burl's part.."
...Nothing
"You see? He has nothing! He will NOT come down! HE is SCARED--"
The lights go out. A video begins playing on the titantron. A tall figure is walking through a marsh, silhouetted under the moonlight, holding a large axe. In the distance is a familiar wooden cabin. A look flashes on Burl's face for a split second, a look of concern - a look of fear - and without saying a word he sprints out of the ring, up the ramp and out of shot.
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Post by Slashmaster on Sept 25, 2024 12:02:29 GMT -5
As the eerie video continues to play on the titantron, the sound of footsteps sloshing through the marsh fills the arena, echoing ominously. The crowd watches in tense silence as the silhouette of Slashmaster moves closer to the cabin. The atmosphere in the JWA Arena shifts dramatically, as the fear Burl had just denied seconds ago seems to radiate from the screen. Mick LeRay: "That... that has to be the Butterfly Room cabin! Slashmaster is heading straight for it!"Sean Beeman: "Looks like Burl's not as fearless as he claims! Did you see him bolt out of here, LeRay?!"The figure on the screen stops just short of the cabin, standing there with the massive axe glinting under the cold light of the moon. For a moment, all is quiet. The camera lingers on the towering figure as mist swirls around his feet. Then, Slashmaster slowly raises his head, staring directly into the lens. The crowd shudders as if he’s looking through the screen, seeing every one of them—and worse, knowing they fear him. Without warning, Slashmaster slams the axe into the cabin door with a deafening CRACK!Mick LeRay: "Good lord! What is he doing? What’s his plan here?!"Slashmaster methodically swings the axe again, splintering the door. He kicks it open and steps into the cabin as the camera lingers on the entrance to the Butterfly Room, and there’s a moment of eerie quiet. Just then, the lights cut out again, and a haunting voice echoes throughout the arena. Burl... you think you can escape me?
You’ll never be safe, not here... not anywhere.
You dragged me into the dark, Burl.
You tried to break me...
you came close...
but in the end you couldn’t.
You failed.
You might not be scared of me Burl, but this is about much more than just fear.
This is about pain.
This is about blood.
This is about Guts & Gory.
This is about me taking from you, what you took from me.
I’m coming for you.
And when I find you, it will be you that is going to a dark place.
Six feet under, in a box made out the very wood of your precious cabin.
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Sept 25, 2024 12:40:47 GMT -5
LeRay: Roger’s clearly hurting after another shot to the back! And…oh wait…hey!! (Conor has started clearing the announce table of things)
Beeman: let me give you a hand there Conor!
LeRay: hey, did you just throw my phone in the crowd?
Conor turns to a pained Rogers and positions him for a power bomb onto the table.
LeRay: this could be it here…
Beeman: don’t get my hopes up!
Conor lifts Rogers up but before he can drive him down Rogers fights back and reverses into a head scissors.
Beeman: See! You jinxed it!!!
LeRay: Rogers isn’t going to let this go to waste he’s getting Caine on our desk.
Beeman: get Whistler! This could be destruction of my property!!
LeRay: and my phone?!?
Beeman: would you stop LeRay this is serious!!!
Rogers has climbed up the ring and gone to the turnbuckle he raises his arms for the Cliffs of Craziness.
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Sept 25, 2024 13:05:28 GMT -5
LERAY: He's going for it!
At the last second Conor pulls Sean Beeman on top of him and Rogers hits the Cliffs of Craziness on Caine and Beeman, with Beeman taking the brunt of it.
LERAY: Oh my God, Sean!
Rogers is recovering from performing the move, dragging himself to the heap of bodies to go for the pin, but the referee won't count: Red has accidentally hooked Sean's leg! Rogers looks shocked to see Beeman in the wreckage... for like a second. Then he shrugs and rolls to Conor, going for the pin.
LERAY: One! Two! Th-- kickout! Mere millimeters from a threecount but Conor kicks out!
Conor, mostly out of desperation, drags himself to standing and starts to stumble away from the massacre at ringside. Rogers notices him and drags himself to his feet also, but the referee is distracted with checking on Beeman.
LERAY: Conor Caine is making his way towards the curtain and backstage! This is a No Holds Barred Match: falls count anywhere, so there's no escape! Rogers is now going after him, but there's no referee with them to count any pinfalls!!!
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Post by “The Relentless” Conor Caine on Sept 25, 2024 13:31:31 GMT -5
Rogers makes his way through the Gorilla Position looking for Caine, who’s nowhere to be seen.
LERAY: Red Pirate Rogers is on the hunt! He’s searching the corridors backstage!
Rogers passes an open door and Caine rushes out, slamming Red into a wall: Caine flings him into the opposite wall, winding him, and then grabs him by the back of the head and forces him into another room in the corridor.
LERAY: That’s the tanning room, where Champion Duke Mongoose was attacked a few weeks ago! BEEMAN (off headset, weakly): …he slipped in baby oil… LERAY: It seems my broadcast partner is still with us, in spirit at least, as EMTs check on him. I believe our referee is on his way backstage to find the competitors!
Conor continues to soften Rogers up with punches before slamming his face down on to an open sunbed, then bringing the lid of the contraption down hard on the back of Red’s skull. He slams it another couple of times for good measure then grabs Red and flings him back into the corridor.
LERAY: Conor Caine is bringing Red Pirate Rogers further into the backstage area, he’s gone into a room… it’s the gym!
Conor dumps a rack holding a lot of Olympic weightlifting bars on to the ground.
LERAY: What does Caine have planned? Those bars weigh over 40 pounds apiece and are completely unforgiving! Oh no! He’s going to powerbomb Rogers on to that mass of steel! He gets Rogers in position but the Crimson Corsair is fighting back! Back body drop! Conor Caine is broken amid those bars! Can the referee get there in time to perform a three count and declare Rogers the winner??
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