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Post by “Heartbroken” Mack Caliber on Apr 14, 2023 13:59:05 GMT -5
@bigmackattack on Chirpy It just occurred to me I have unfinished business. Hey Big Buff— as God is my witness We could put on a hell of a show at Crash Carnival. I’ll be there and waiting. The question is if you will. OOC: Nothing good rhymes with Carnival. This is my least favorite pay per view.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 14, 2023 14:19:02 GMT -5
@bigmackattack on Chirpy It just occurred to me I have unfinished business. Hey Big Buff— as God is my witness We could put on a hell of a show at Crash Carnival. I’ll be there and waiting. The question is if you will. OOC: Nothing good rhymes with Carnival. This is my least favorite pay per view. OOC: It was good enough for Capcom, it's good enough for JWA!
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on Apr 14, 2023 14:21:28 GMT -5
so the mack truck wants to crash at the carnival? you got it ya barnacle. i'll hit yah with my whole arsenal till you look more ruined than my old pontiac bonneville. yer rhymes are farcical woulda made lord thorin lose his monocle, but buff in the ring will be simply phenomenal till you hurt in every particle from your paranasal to your abdominal.
enough of this silly talk, cuz I walk the walk and balk the balk, balk ba-kawww. yellow, chicken, chicken wing, aint no thing wild wing, i was wild when we tussled with that hussled bustle fussy hussy, just think what buffalo wing can cockle-doodle-do-to-you when i'm all business no mercy!
OOC: yes, I will have a match. OOC2: i did use a rhyming dictionary.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 14, 2023 14:24:28 GMT -5
OOC: Search history of various JWA characters:
Mack: what rhymes with carnival Arizona: what to do when your wife is more successful than you Daisy: woman wrestlers not beaten by Daisy Turner Veronica: facial reconstruction surgery recovery time TPWOD: chicken salad recipe of doom Conor: world record for most asses kicked in one night Buff: buzzsaw classic promos Pierre: if you go to six flags with another guy on your shoulders do you both have to pay Chesterton: sale on sun tan lotion Red: women seeking erudite scallywags Duke: feathered boas for men Thorin: “Tembleberry! Perform a search for me!”
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Apr 14, 2023 14:50:40 GMT -5
Pierre: if you go to six flags with another guy on your shoulders do you both have to pay OOC: I'm dying over here
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Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 14, 2023 14:53:07 GMT -5
@bookitkip on Chirpy
Just added to Crash Carnival on Saturday, April 22: Mack Caliber vs. Chief Buffalo!
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Apr 14, 2023 15:17:02 GMT -5
OOC: Search history of various JWA characters: Red: women seeking erudite scallywags OOC: If I weren't married, I would finally have an online dating profile bio.
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Post by Daisy Turner on Apr 14, 2023 17:44:12 GMT -5
OOC: Search history of various JWA characters: Daisy: woman wrestlers not beaten by Daisy Turner How do you know my secret!?
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 15, 2023 10:21:52 GMT -5
Pierre: if you go to six flags with another guy on your shoulders do you both have to pay OOC: If the ticket attendant doesn't see the other guy it counts
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Post by Daisy Turner on Apr 19, 2023 21:34:37 GMT -5
JWA.Com Exclusive
Daisy: Allow me to set the record straight. I heard what Bambi said and I would like to remind everyone that despite all of my announcements, they will not affect my performance at Crash Carnival. I am bringing my A game and this is only my 2nd defense at Women's Champion and there is no way I will allow my reign to end tonight. 100% of my focus will be on this Hardcore Rules Triple Threat, so Bambi & Veronica. Watch out because the Australian death. Will gladly kiss you goodnight.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Apr 20, 2023 1:04:59 GMT -5
JWA.COM Exclusive
TONI CRUISE: This footage was recorded just after the staredown between Red Pirate Rogers, Conor Caine, and Chesterton Shredsbury ended and the three left the scene.
Hysteria by Muse begins to play and Arizona heads down to the ring. The fans assume this is just for a post-show promo by a star not seen on the show, and half head for the exits.
ARIZONA: Hey, before everyone leaves, I want to say two things to my favorite people in the world, the JWA fans. First, I want to call out my partner. He’s a terrible comedian because he always lays an egg, but he’s a friend in conditions both fair and fowl. Ladies, gentlemen, and antartic creatures, here’s Penguino!
Where Is My Mouth starts to play, and Penguino waddles to the ring.
ARIZONA: The second thing I wanted to say is that I’m very disappointed to hear that the tag title match will have to be postponed. Listen, I think you’ll agree that a title won while one of the champs is not at 100% is a title not worth winning. So, Penguino and I are willing to wait until OOOF!!
Arizona and Penguino are attacked from behind by the recovered Duke Mongoose, Earl Jackson, and Tembleberry, with Lord Thorin directing traffic from his remaining good crutch. After a few moments, Thorin directs Earl and Tembleberry to hold Arizona while Duke has Penguino in the Cobra Clutch. Taylor bangs the crutch off Arizona’s face, opening a gash on his forehead. Penguino manages to beak Duke’s hand, breaking the hold, and he quickly grabs Chance and drags him from the ring.
TONI CRUISE: We’ll await judgment from commissioner Whistler on this matter, but that tape clearly showed Thorin as fully able-bodied. We expect a ruling in the next 48 hours regarding Crash Carnival and the tag title match.
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Post by Kip Whistler on Apr 20, 2023 10:17:01 GMT -5
***From the front page of JWA.com***
From the desk of Kip Whistler - For Immediate Release
As many fans are aware, the JWA World Tag Team Champions ("Lord" Taylor Thorin & Duke Mongoose) have been petitioning to have their scheduled title defense at this weekend's Crash Carnival pay per view event postponed. The reason given was that "Lord" Taylor Thorin was injured and in no shape to compete. I have had time to review all of the evidence, including some damning footage from the most recent edition of JWA Glory, and I have come to my decision.
The JWA World Tag Team Championship match at Crash Carnival will go on as advertised.
I have seen no valid proof that "Lord" Taylor Thorin was ever injured. In fact, as a result of this past week's events, it's possible that Thorin will be the most healthy participant in the title match. It is because of this that there will be no change to the Crash Carnival card, and Thorin & Mongoose will make their scheduled title defense against Arizona Chance & Penguino (affectionately referred to as "ZoneGuino").
Thank you for your time.
Kip Whistler JWA Owner/Booker/Cat Wrangler
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Apr 20, 2023 12:27:29 GMT -5
I was a little late posting the ending of the match sorry! Fell asleep before the finish and had a shitty day at work today!
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Post by Pierre The Enormous on Apr 21, 2023 9:43:52 GMT -5
*JWA.com Exclusive video*
*Another day on the boardwalk and Big Waves is seen chowing down on what the best the boardwalk has to offer*
Chesterton: So *munch* good!
Pierre: You *munch* said it
Chesterton: Hmm.... *Chesterton appeared lost in thought*
Pierre: Something wrong little bro?
Chesterton: I can't believe Thorin would do something like that.... he faked being injured because of what you did to him in that match..... *he clenches his fists and in a rare showing of rage he yells* IT PISSES ME OFF.... *he gets stared by the patrons of the boardwalk and is breathing heavily*
Pierre: *wordlessly I wrap my arms around Chesterton and help him calm down* It's okay little bro he'll get what's coming to him soon....
Chesterton: I know.... it's just.... we've been teaming together for just shy of a year and I've never seen you injure someone on purpose..... let alone your entire career.... outside of the Slash incident.... *he rubs his neck in embarassment*
Pierre: Wanna head over to my place and chat there?
Chesterton: *he nods* that'd be great *he hops onto my back* Pierre?
Pierre: Hmm?
Chesterton: Thanks....
Pierre: *I smile* you're welcome....
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Post by “Charismatic” Conor Caine on Apr 21, 2023 15:30:03 GMT -5
JWA.COM EXCLUSIVE VIDEO Conor Caine Speaks On Opponent, Chesterton Shredsbury The video fades in to Rodd Puttergill in the Mania studio, he addresses the camera.
Puttergill: Welcome to this jwa.com exclusive video. As Crash Carnival grows ever closer, we take a look at another part of my exclusive interview with “Relentless” Conor Caine; this time discussing Conor’s fellow number one contender, Chesterton Shredsbury. Fade to the interview…Puttergill: Conor, your path to Crash Carnival has been an unpredictable one, and it culminates in an unusual main event: a triple threat match for the JWA World Championship. Even more unusual, your opponents are two men you’ve never been able to defeat before. One of those men is The Welsh Waverider, Chesterton Shredsbury… Caine: One of my favourite wrestlers in the company: aside from being affable, gregarious and - if I may - uncannily handsome, he’s wildly inventive in the ring, and his workrate is second to none. He has that deadly combination of technique and conditioning. Puttergill: How does a surfer come upon the skills to be one of the best wrestlers in the world?! Caine: Well, natural talent for a start. But when you think of what surfing involves; it’s a dance with Mother Nature herself. You go out there on the water, appraise the ebb and flow of the waves, bide your time, and when the right one comes you have to be extremely accurate in your timing and movement in order to mount a wave so can glide on water. Even then, if you want to stay on your feet, you have to sense the energy of the current through your board, and respond correctly to all the signals in split second timing to stay on top of Mother Nature. It’s no wonder the guy has almost paranormal ring awareness, and the reflexes to turn the tide of a match on a dime. Puttergill: So the question is, how do you hope to beat somebody like that? Caine: If it’s in Chesterton’s nature to be like water, then it’s in mine to be like a rock: strong, resilient, enduring. If Chesterton is the waves, then I’m the shoreline; and what happens to the wave when it meets the rocks? It crashes. And at Crash Carnival, Chesterton Shredsbury and I are going to collide in the biggest match of our careers; and just like the wave when it meets the rock, Chesterton is going to crash and disperse, and Conor Caine will be the one left standing. Fade out to the JWA logo.
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