|
Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Nov 7, 2023 13:23:07 GMT -5
We are in a darkened room, lit only by the candle that is currently burning on a desk. Sat at the desk is who we believe to be Lord Thorin (it's difficult to see in the dim light).
Thorin is currently scribbling on a bit of parchment using what appears to be an ink and quill, while muttering to himself.
Sensing the intrusion of the cameraman, Thorin stops...
THORIN: "I have been told I must focus my efforts on eradicating the pirate menace of Red Rogers. But in the meantime, an age old tournament comes back around. A tournament that's thwarted the mightiest of heroes, foiled the villainous of villains, won...by legends.
Yes, I must focus on next week. The pirate menace, must be stopped. But the addition of the J-1 trophy would make for a fine haul.
Mr Bradley, a painful lesson awaits you sunshine. You are but step one, on this road to immortality. Now...leave me."
Thorin goes back to scribbling on the parchment as the cameraman backs away.
|
|
|
Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Nov 9, 2023 21:56:37 GMT -5
***JWA.COM EXCLUSIVE***
The camera focuses in on Omega.
Omega: I've heard a lot of chit-chat, downplaying the fact that, once again, I told Arizona Chance—JWA Champion Arizona Chance—to his limit. Only difference is this time he kept up with me every step of the way. As such, we're both in something of a hole when it comes to the J-1. But all that means to me is the next 4 men I go against are going to fall in line, starting with the fluke, Bad Luck Bradley.
The video shows a montage of Brad's recent 'success'.
Omega: Bad Luck Bradley, a guy who's been on something of a Cinderella run as of late. Shocking upsets over Duke Mongoose and 'Lord' Taylor Thorin, of course that record comes with a few asterisks, that being if refs in those matches were paying proper attention he would've lost both. Only winning and securing his and Seph's Tag Title match by the fact that the ref missed Seph slipping his phone into Duke's ring gear, somehow, and only winning his first J-1 match this year with the ref missing Thorin's kickout.
Well Brad, clock strikes midnight on your little Cinderella run the second you step in the ring with me. The magic will fade, and you'll be left picking up the pieces to your fairy tale dream, not that you're one to ever keep the story straight.
|
|
|
Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 10, 2023 9:32:25 GMT -5
***JWA BOOBTUBE CHANNEL***
Toni Cruise: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another episode of THE BLIP, where today we catch you up on everything you might've missed this past week.
Honest Sal: That's right, and we certainly had a lot going on this past week with the first round of the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament. Our guest this week will be making his first appearance on THE BLIP, please welcome... Duke Mongoose.
(Duke walks out onto the set to a smattering of polite applause)
Toni: Duke, welcome to the show.
Duke: Toni Spumoni. Sally Boy. Big Daddy Duke is glad to be here.
Sal: With the first round of the 2023 J-1 in the record books, how are you feeling? You had a tough loss to Red Pirate Rogers.
Duke: Thanks for the reminder, Sally Boy. I really thought I had him with the Ionian Nerve Grip, but I'll give Rogers credit. There's a reason he's been JWA World Heavyweight Champion, and he showed it in the ring with me.
Toni: You've got another tough draw for the second round, as you'll be facing current World Heavyweight Champion and defending J-1 Pinnacle champion Arizona Chance.
Sal: If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Kip Whistler is out to get you, Duke.
Duke: *chuckles* At least I'm not the only one thinking that, Sally Boy. Listen, Arizona is called "The Franchise" for a reason. The man has done anything and everything in this business. But let's face facts: Arizona is a poor imitation of Big Daddy Duke.
Sal: That's quite an accusation!
Toni: I'm not even sure how you can make that comparison.
Duke: Oh, come on! I left the business to pursue a highly successful and lucrative acting career, and so did Arizona. I crawled so that Arizona could fly! I returned to wrestling to capture the prizes that had eluded me in my first run, and so did Arizona!
Sal: Uhh, I'm pretty sure Arizona returned to wrestling while you were still away.
Duke: CAN IT, SALLY BOY! I'm telling a story!
Toni: Look, Duke, I can sort of see where you're coming from, but the fact remains that Arizona is the only 3-time World Heavyweight Champion in JWA history, as well as a 2-time World Tag Team Champion and the J-1 Pinnacle winner last year. You've had a heck of a run this past year, capturing the World Tag Team Championship alongside both "Lord" Taylor Thorin and your current partner Penguino, but your singles win-loss record isn't the best. And last year you only managed a single point in the J-1...
Duke: TONI SPUMONI! I didn't expect to come onto your show and get the third degree! Big Daddy Duke has more important things to be doing than sitting here and being read the riot act!
Sal: We're simply setting the stage for next week's J-1 match...
(Duke stands up abruptly and tears his lapel mic off of his shirt, removes the waist pack it is connected to, and throws it all on the floor. Duke's booming voice is still picked up by the cameras)
Duke: Call your grandmothers! This interview is over!
(Duke storms off the set. An awkward silence falls upon the studio)
Toni: Uhh... well... fans, we'll have more coverage of the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament coming up, so stay tuned to all of JWA's media channels!
|
|
|
Post by Thumper Moore III on Nov 12, 2023 8:14:59 GMT -5
JWA.com
Arizona Chance is in his high backed leather chair, an antique highball glass filled with ice water sitting on an oak side table next to him. The newspaper clipping of “Satyros Defeats Chance” remains on the wall behind him, and his JWA World Championship sits comfortably around his waist.
“First things first. Omega Satyros… it was a calculated risk taking off the rib tape, and you saw right through my deception. Well done, and we both deserved our point. Some would say we both deserved two, but that’s not how this tournament works.
So, that brings me to this week and an old foe, Duke Mongoose. Duke, I’m not going to try to play mind games with you, because there’s not much to play with. But I do want to correct something you said… I NEVER LEFT WRESTLING. I took breaks from it to pursue other projects or recover from injury, but wrestling is my first love, and the only thing I place above it is my wife and daughter. You use wrestling, titles, and others as an opportunity to bully and feel good about yourself. I see wrestling as the sport of kings, titles as badges of respect earned, and the ring as holy ground.
I’ve told the story about how when first shared a locker room when I was a wide-eyed rookie and YOU were the vet, you took the opportunity to take a literal dump in my bag while my match was going on.
I figured you were an [censored] from the moment I first saw you on TV, and meeting you confirmed it. So, I look forward to once again beating out of you the same substance you left in my bag so long ago. And nobody beats the [censored] out of Duke Mongoose like Arizona Chance.”
|
|
|
Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Nov 13, 2023 3:13:24 GMT -5
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
|
|
|
Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Nov 14, 2023 8:54:38 GMT -5
From the desk of Lord Taylor Thorin...
Last week didn't go as planned. I allowed my focus to be split. This week's match against the Pirate Rogers changes the future for both of us. Only one will walk away from this a free man, the other will be doomed to purgatory.
This match is more than points, it is everything.
Red Rogers, I have no choice but to end you and your menace.
|
|
|
Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 14, 2023 8:59:51 GMT -5
@mongooseisloose on Chirpy
Last year Arizona made things between us VAGUELY personal and just barely managed to pick up the win. This year I get an opportunity to play spoiler again, and this time I'm going to take EVERYTHING away from you, champ! P.S. You can't prove the mess left in your bag was mine!
|
|
|
Post by Bad Luck Bradley on Nov 14, 2023 11:15:27 GMT -5
Killies. Brad enters, causing a commotion. He makes a beeline to a booth in the corner where Seph and Tommy End are sitting.
Brad: Timmy Ends. Sephy-Wephy. Talking but not walking. Chatting without napping. Gossiping and flossing. Tommy: Brad. Brad: Timmy. Listen here now my boy, what you doing there?
Tommy is constructing an elaborate pyramid out of bar coasters. His steady hands - surely the hands of the purest striker the JWA has ever seen - allow him to effortlessly add another layer.
Tommy: Making a pyramid. Brad: Baking a square pud? Tommy: Bar coaster tower. Brad: Far boaster power? Tommy: Practicing my patience. Brad: Back-tracing your bay's fun? Tommy: Training my steadiness. Brad: Faming your giddiness? Tommy: Just killing time. Brad: Must milling mime? Tommy: Meditative experience. Brad: Destructive sheep-shearing pence? Tommy: Building it up.
There is a moment. Brad's neck creaks as he looks at Seph. Quickly, and without moving much, he whispers.
Brad: You did great out there, kid. You'll get the next one. Who is it? The tall one? The soft one? The dumb one? The smart one? The sneezy one? The grumpy one? The sleepy one? The embarrassed one? The- Tommy: It's Penguino.
With a shriek, Brad hops back. Tommy's pyramid wobbles, wavers, shimmies and shakes before finally collapsing. A silence while the heart and soul of JWA, surely the most self-important wrestler to ever lace his boots, releases a single breath and begins to, laboriously, reconstruct his ruined creation. Brad watches him a moment. Seph plays on his phone.
Brad: You building it up again? Tommy: If you build it up, it's more fun to knock it down.
Brad steps back, smiles, surveys the scene and intones, with a booming voice:
Brad: Tonight, I battle the leader of the legion, the slayer of the streaks, the master of other people's matches, Alpharius Omegron! For those of you who have seen him, he's smart, and I'm dumb. He's strong and I accidentally gave myself a sprain by talking just there. He's meticulous, and I'm ludicrous. I may have won against Tyler Thorns, but that was a hard fought match to the end. Tonight, I intend on doing the same with Alpharius.
Brad tries to walk off, his IV trailing, accidentally walks into the ladies toilets, emerges followed by screams and toilet paper, sporting fresh cuts to his face, and limps out.
|
|
|
Post by Duke Mongoose on Nov 16, 2023 12:18:00 GMT -5
***JWA.com Exclusive***
(Toni Cruise is standing in front of Duke Mongoose's dressing room)
Toni: Fans, I'm hoping to get a word with Duke Mongoose who just defeated JWA World Heavyweight Champion Arizona Chance in the J-1.
(Toni knocks, and after a few seconds Duke answers the door, dressed in a hot pink bath robe but still with sunglasses on and his tag team title belt around his waist)
Toni: Duke, congratulations on your upset victory tonight over Arizona Chance.
Duke: UPSET?!?! The only people upset by my victory are the idiots who cheer for Arizona week-in and week-out! Big Daddy Duke is the kind of champion these fans truly deserve, and I'm going to prove it when I get my title match with Arizona!
Toni: Following the match, you covered Arizona in what turned out to be chocolate pudding. Do you care to comment on this whole situation?
Duke: I'll level with you, Toni. I know that someone left a mess in young Arizona Chance's bag back in the day. That's a fact. But here's the thing - just because I took credit for it doesn't mean I'm the actual perpetrator. Everyone knows that Big Daddy Duke likes to stir the pot!
Toni: So now you're claiming that you took credit for a prank that you didn't actually commit?
Duke: That's right. So what? I'm glad it lit a fire under Chance to become the man he is today, and I'm sure the actual perpetrator is proud too!
Toni: Well, next week you'll be facing your old nemesis Bad Luck Bradley. Care to comment?
Duke: Toni Spumoni, why'd you have to go and ruin my good mood by bringing up old Brad Luck? Please leave.
Toni: No comments regarding your match for next week?
Duke: Call your grandmother, Toni! This interview is over!
(Duke slams the door closed)
Toni: There you have it, fans. Duke Mongoose claims that he took credit for the "Phoenix Dumpjob" which he didn't actually commit, and he doesn't want to talk about Bad Luck Bradley, who is currently top of Block A. Stay tuned to all of JWA's media outlets for more up to the minute information!
|
|
|
Post by Bad Luck Bradley on Nov 16, 2023 16:55:18 GMT -5
JWA.COM EXCLUSIVE BAD LUCK BRADLEY GETS PATCHED UP!
Bad Luck Bradley, yeah, Bad Brad, the Bad Luck Wrestler, Leader of the Bad Luck Bros and one-time Jammy-award-winning-superstar himself, is getting patched up in the back by the medics. Toni Cruise strolls into the shot.
Toni: I'm here with Bad Luck Bradley. Brad, congratulations on your second win in the J-1. Next week you're due to wrestle Duke Mongoose for what at least one person on an online forum is calling Hot Ten Part III. How do you feel? Brad: Your name is Tommy.
A beat follows.
Toni: Toni.
A second beat.
Brad: I have a friend called Timmy.
A third.
Brad: Sephy-Wephy wrestled him last week.
Toni sighs.
Toni: Brad, what do you think about wrestling Duke Mongoose next week? Brad: I think very little, Tommy, everyone knows that. Toni: Duke himself ended the interview when I asked about you.
Brad chuckles, winces in pain, and then leans forward. A medic is slowly knitting a gash in Brad's head closed as he speaks:
Brad: See the thing you have to remember about Duke is that he doesn't like being reminded of the past. That's where he sees me: in the past. Ask him about me, he walks him away. As him about Radiator Johnson. Ask him about Radiator Jones. Remind him of Banana Robinson and Marty Face. What about Wise "Jacob" Tallyknacker? The One and Only Whiskey Magoots? Mahogany Stacks?
With each name, Brad's voice has raised until he is pert near shouting. The next name is a whisper.
Brad: Ask him about the Mad, Bad, Rad Dads. He remembers them all. He remembers Mad, Bad, Rad Brad and he remembers Mad, Bad, Rad Shad. He remembers the Hot Ten. He remembers everything.
The medic has sewn Brad closed and has stepped away. Brad's glasses are off and his eyes are locked on Toni.
Brad: Juicy Mongoosey is one of the smartest damn wrasslers I ever locked up with, let me tell you what. He's quick, he's sharp, he knows history of wrasslin' and he knows it outside and in. He knows my weaknesses, strengths and limits. Most of all, he knows his own. Sunny T said: "To know thine enemies is to know thineself. Know the enemy and know yourself in a hundred battles you will never be in peril." That's how Juicy has been wrasslin' as long as he has. That's how he's got so much gold on his waist. That's how his rap sheet is a mile long.
The eyes move, focused now on the camera and the hidden viewer behind.
Brad: But that's not the end of the quote, is it, Juicy? The rest of it goes, "When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril." Well, I think we both know each other pretty well after all these years. Only thing is that I've evolved. I've changed. I've read a book or two. You've not changed a damn bit. Dropping plops, kicking rocks, that's what I done heard about you.
Brad is up now, shaking his arms and rolling his shoulders.
Brad: We have a match next week. I can't reckon whether it's one way or another. They're calling it the third, but we both know it could be million and third considering our past. I know you and you think you know me. Only thing we can really account for is the fireworks.
He takes an unsteady step towards the camera until his face fills the shot.
Brad: When we step into that ring on Tuesday 21st and step out of it on Wednesday 22nd, you can be sure that this is going to be a greatest hits album. I'm gonna pull out all the shots, and I'm sure you'll take out your dirty book of tricks. The second we get close, that electricity is gonna blow the roof of the place. I just hope it don't fry my phone. My grandmother is on speedial. But one thing you can bet your bottom dollar on, sucker, is that the second you step foot inside the squared circle, fourteen feet one way and fourteen feet the other, for you it's gonna be...
He slides on his glasses like a cool man from the eighties.
Brad: A bit of bad news.
Brad nods to Toni, looks back to the camera, and shambles off. As Toni closes off the interview, there is a sound of a clatter in the background followed by Brad yelling, "Who put a gosh-for-darn tiny metal toilet here after it been done used?"
|
|
|
Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Nov 16, 2023 22:30:32 GMT -5
Phone camera footage, posted to Chirpy
??: Omega, Omega!
Omega turns around, and looks quite annoyed.
??: Omega, what's on your mind after your match with Bad Luck Bradley?
Omega: Bradley nearly concussed me with a move he's literally never used before after kicking out of literally everything. I could almost believe I could've kicked his head clear off his shoulders into that crowd and that cockroach of a man would've still found a way to kick out.
??: And your upcoming match against "Lord" Taylor Thorin.
Omega: Luckily for me, most of the damage I took in that match with Brad was psychological, so physically I'm more or less good to go, unlike Thorin. And, unfortunately for Thorin and the rest of my opponents in the Pinnacle, they have to go against something that no one has seen in JWA yet, and that's a pissed off Omega Satyros who will stop AT NOTHING to get to the Pinnacle Finals. Unfortunately for me, that's now a lot easier said than done, as it'll take more than just me winning out to make it there.
Luckily, unlike Brad, Thorin has been thoroughly mortal when it comes to losing matches so far. And he gets to be the first to experience me with nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I'm going into our matchup next week not just ready to fight, but ready to destroy him, whatever's left after that brutal Ship's Mast match.
The so-called Lord's Reign over JWA meets an Undeniable end next week on Glory.
Omega walks out of frame, leaving the unknown amateur interviewer baffled.
|
|
|
Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Nov 17, 2023 14:15:23 GMT -5
Sunny T said: "To know thine enemies is to know thineself. Know the enemy and know yourself in a hundred battles you will never be in peril." That's how Juicy has been wrasslin' as long as he has. That's how he's got so much gold on his waist. That's how his rap sheet is a mile long.
The eyes move, focused now on the camera and the hidden viewer behind.
Brad: But that's not the end of the quote, is it, Juicy? The rest of it goes, "When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril." Well, I think we both know each other pretty well after all these years. Only thing is that I've evolved. I've changed. I've read a book or two. You've not changed a damn bit. Dropping plops, kicking rocks, that's what I done heard about you.
OOC: I would pay all the money for for Bad Luck Bradley's Masterclass on Philosophy. (And I'm 1000% referring to Sun Tzu as Sunny T from now on)
|
|
|
Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Nov 17, 2023 15:27:41 GMT -5
(In the middle of an interview from Kris Man Fleet's set "Perception" with out guest being Winter Hex
Kris Man Fleet: Once again Winter it's such an honor to do this intervie-
Winter: I know. And I've noticed that Daisy hasn't been on the show so she can suck it.
Kris Man Fleet: Speaking of Daisy I want to talk about what's been going on recently and what's been happening on JWA
Winter: What are you implying? That I've lost my groove? Nope, your certainly wrong. I'm just, just, letting these young stars actually feel happy once in their life by giving them a win. I mean lower class people who cannot afford to watch JWA Glory certainly don't get the right to watch me win. I'm not going to cater to peasants. You see Daisy may because she is just like them but I'm not. So I'm going to be nice by letting the younger talent have a moment in front of like, hillbillies, rednecks and people who don't matter, because the match doesn't matter
Kris Man Fleet: Well Winter sorry if what I'm about to say comes off as disrespectful and wrong but I feel like your making excuses for your loses
5 second moment of silence
Winter: You know what you are so rude and ignorant
Winter slaps him hard
Winter: How DARE you saw that to me, do you know who I am. I am a former JWA Women's World Champion, you do not give me disrespect. You know what, in the immortal words of Duke Mongoose, who we should all idolize and look up to for inspiration and don't forget next World Champ "Call your grandmother! this interview is over."
Security come on set to remove her
Winter: Oh and this is the greatest part. Don't worry I'll leave on my own free will
Winter walks off set with Security walking behind her
Kris Man Fleet: na na na na
Winter: (off camera) Shut up!
Kris Man Fleet: na na na na
Winter: (off camera) I'm being serious here!
Kris Man Fleet: Hey hey hey
Winter: (off camera) ugh!
Kris Man Fleet: Goodbye
Winter: (off camera) (sound slowly fading) You are unbelieve, lemme- Don't touch me! Hey Hey! I did nothing wrong
Kris Man Fleet: Should I get Daisy on the show, just to piss her off?
|
|
|
Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Nov 19, 2023 21:39:08 GMT -5
There’s a beautiful sunset happening at Arizona Chance’s ranch compound as he walks out with his old pal Red Pirate Roger’s to tend the barbecue grill.
Arizona: …I'm impressed you found a bottle, I haven't seen onre in months. Red: one of the benefits of life at sea, I meet those who already have it in international waters, and…import duties, shmimport shmuties. Arizona: you didn’t break the law did you? Red: to get a 21-year old Hibiki? Well, I might as well make use of this pardon since I’ve got it. (Maddie toddles out with Veronica holding her hand) Maddie: Unca Red!!! (She charges in and Red feigns being leveled by a super small spear while the adults laugh) didja bring it? Didja?!? (Arizona and Ronnie look confused) Red: Sadly, Unicornicopia wouldn’t allow me to take anyone away from home, but the queen herself did give me this! (He produces a large, plush unicorn, and holds it out to Maddie, it wears Red’s signature mask) Maddie: He looks like you!!! Red: He is handsome chap, isn’t he… Maddie: thank you Unca Red! (She hugs his leg and runs off screaming to play) Ronnie: nice to see you, Red. Red: and you Veronica, I hope you’ll be returning to the ring soon? Ronnie: I may have to if Zona can’t get a point in this tournament…somebody’s got to get the wins to put food on the table. Arizona: …I’m JWA Champion…again… Red & Ronnie (in unison): for now (Arizona rolls his eyes and turns back to the steaks.) Ronnie: (asking even though she can guess the answer) so, you two going to go easy on eachother this week? (Red & Arizona look at eachother, and again in unison respond): Hell, no! Ronnie: Yeah, I thought not. Well, at least don’t do a repeat of Puerto Rico, I’d like to have one holiday card where my husband doesn’t have a black eye, and our babysitter isn’t laid up in the hospital. Red: Veronica…at your command
|
|
|
Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Nov 20, 2023 3:06:34 GMT -5
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
|
|