JWA Glory Episode 168 - World Tag Team Championship Match

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

The 2023 J-1 Pinnacle Tournament is in the books and Chad Shredsbury is the one to hoist the cup! He'll be facing Arizona Chance for the JWA World Heavyweight Championship at JWA Destiny on January 30/31! But you won't have to wait until then to see championship action, as we've got a match for the JWA World Tag Team Championship as this week's main event!

Just prior to the J-1, tag champs Duke Mongoose & Penguino were defeated, albeit by disqualification, in a non-title match against The Bad Luck Bros of Bad Luck Bradley & Seph Kobane. That victory has earned the Bad Luck Bros a shot at the titles. In singles action during the J-1, Penguino defeated Seph Kobane, but Duke Mongoose once again failed to defeat Bad Luck Bradley. The challengers already hold a victory over the champions. Could we see new tag champions crowned tonight?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

In addition to the J-1 finals last week, we also saw JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner successfully retain her championship against "The Huntress" Artemis. With "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex waiting in the wings, odds are we already know who Daisy will be defending her championship against at Destiny. That is, unless a certain Kazuko Jin has anything to say about it.

Mack Caliber made his shocking return to JWA last week, costing his former tag team partner Red Pirate Rogers the J-1 finals. Will we find out what the reason for this unexpected attack was? Is Caliber aligned with Shredsbury? Or is there more to it?

Omega Satyros seems hell bent on returning to the main event picture, and has made his intentions clear that he wants to defeat former champions in order to prove he's a worthy challenger. He's been calling out Tommy End, but the Dutch Destroyer seems to be MIA at the moment. Perhaps Satyros will set his sights elsewhere.

Chief Buffalo may be on his way out of JWA, but he said that there was someone who always listened to him. After his vague comments last week, maybe he'll shine a light on what exactly he was talking about here tonight.

Chad Shredsbury winning the J-1 has got to rub Pierre The Enormous and his cohorts the wrong way. Odds are things aren't settled between the former Big Waves bros.

Next week is the Jammy Awards! Information regarding nominations will be available soon, so stay tuned!

Let's get this show started. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Bad Luck Bradley]

Before the match begins, the enormous screens around the arena fade to black. There is a watermark of the sloppily-spelled @badluckbard in the corner as Mother by Lissie begins to play:




The camera sits facing a camera, the background blurred, the chair in sharp focus. A man enters, speaks off camera and then sits. It is none other than former champ Conor Caine. the studio crowd pop for the fan favourite face. He nods off screen.

Conor: The rise of Conor Caine cannot be fully told without mentioning Seph Kobane.

There follows images of Conor's arrival in the JWA alongside Seph's and the feud that followed: the arrival of the compound, reveal of Brother Abel and return of Insane, culminating in the bloody match one year ago.

Conor: To the lay fan, both of us were as green as the grass. They had no idea about my time in Big Japan and they knew nothing about the struggles Seph faced throughout his life. He can take a beating and keep on ticking. He did it every day from Insane.

A shot of Seph and Conor leaving the match in tatters, but in each others arms.

Conor: That was a turning point for both of us. I kept rising and Seph...

Shot of Penguino waddling around the ring and hitting vicious slaps. Conor has been replaced with Francis X "FX" McCorry.

FX: Pound for pound, Penguino is the most dangerous competitor in the JWA.

Dozens of high-flying, high-impact moves from the wingless wonder.

FX: Neither Brad nor Seph have defeated him. He is the thumb on the scales in this matchup.

As Lissie sings "Father!" At 45 seconds in, McCorry is replaced by Papaguino, Penguinos father, who nibbles under a flipper, shakes his head and intones:

Papaguino: Bawk.

We see the moment that Duke and Penguino win the tag belts, Mongoose hugging the bird close. The camera cuts to the chair and we see The Bunkhouse Boys, Dirt Murphy and Dusty Britches.

Britches: You got the wickedest striker in the game teaming with the dirtiest player-
Murphy: And we know dirt!
Britches: That we do!
Murphy: Hooooeeee!
Britches: Those Bad Luck Boys done got their work cut out for 'em!

Cut to Brad's Grandma and Martha.

Grandma: We were so proud of Bradders.
Martha: So proud.
Grandma: On the wall, we have Madonna, we have Barbara, and we have Bradderkins.
Martha: I told her that the rabbi would have a schmutz, but she kept it up!
Grandma: what can I say? He's my only grandson.

We see Radiator Johnson and Radiator Jones, now in their sixties, but still hot-dog-skinned and long-haired and whispy.

Jones: Brad and Duke were part of the Mad, Bad, Rad Dads, back in Memphis.
Johnson: Short-lived but impactful.

Low-quality footage of a young Brad and Duke in gaudy day-glo outfits, joined by a third man - Mad, Bad, Rad Shad. It is his turn to speak.

Shad: We were one of the first three-man champs. They changed the rules for us.

Back to the Radiators.

Johnson: The three of them would draw straws before a match, go odds and evens, play rock paper scissors to see who went in.
Jones: You prayed it wasn't Duke.

Back to Shad.

Shad: I'm glad I was on their side. Duke was snug and he kept receipts.

The song has reached the rising guitars of the second chorus, second minute. We see evidence of Duke being rough and ready, fast and tight, handing out potatoes left and right. Then, as the chorus slows, the previous interviewees look dead into the camera to become serious.

Shad: And then came the Hot Ten.
Jones: Hot Ten.
Conor: Hot Ten.
McCorry: Hot Ten.
Grandma: Hot Ten.
Papaguino: Bork.

Mother has hit 2:40 and the solo has hit.

Johnson: Before Marty and Shawn, there was Duke and Brad and Shad.
Jones: This has been a long time coming.

Montage of Duke and Brad battling through the ages, intermixed with Penguino battering folk and Seph hitting fast snaps. It is hectic and shows all four men at their best: strong, angry, desperate but proud, willing, bleeding, sweating, breathing, alive, unwilling to give over even an inch. As the song smashes to a close, we see a shot of all four men facing off, taken from the qualifier match last month.

[Bad Luck Bradley]

As the video ends, the arena lights turn to the curtain as the incomparable Bad Seed by Metallica plays.



There is a moment where nothing happens, and then suddenly both men burst through the curtain. Brad is storming ahead, big smile on his face as Seph follows close behind. He appears a bit more compos mentis than he has been in the last while.

Rod C: The following contest is scheduled for one fall-
Fans: One fall!
Rod C: -and is for the JWA Tag Team Championship!

The crowd erupt in cheers for the big match.

Rod C: Making their way to the ring weighing in at a total of two Jammy Awards, they are the team of Seph Kobane and Bad Luck Bradley: The Bad! Luck! BROOOOOOOOOS!

Both men roll into the ring and hit their usual spots in the corners. As the music fades to an end, they stand side-by-side. Brad holds out a fist for a bump. The crowd stomp and chant, but just as Seph is about to move one way or another...

[Duke Mongoose]

("Stay Vicious" by The Gaslight Anthem blares through the arena as Duke Mongoose and Penguino barrel down the aisle. Duke is wearing a tuxedo t-shirt in addition to his usual attire. Johnny Kobra follows closely behind. Both man and bird slide into the ring and immediately begin brawling with the Bad Luck Bros)

LeRay: A little coordination of outfits by the champions tonight, but they're all business! Referee Jack LeBiggun may need to throw his weight around to establish some order!

Beeman: You saw that video package, LeRay! Somebody dug up the dirt on Duke and Brad's past, and clearly Big Daddy Duke didn't like it!

LeRay: I never thought I'd see The Bunkhouse Boys on JWA television.

Beeman: No one did, I assure you.

LeRay: Despite getting the jump on the challengers, it appears that Brad and Seph have gained the upper hand, and now Duke and Penguino have retreated to the relative safety of the floor.

Beeman: Relative is the the key word. Speaking of relatives, how did they get Papaguino for that interview? I thought he was stranded in the Arctic!

LeRay: I have no clue, but it does seem like things are settling down. Maybe we can get an official bell and start this match.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*before the match starts I'm interviewed at the podium*

Sal: Greetings Pierre

Pierre: Hello Sal

Sal: What's on your mind you haven't said much over the past few weeks...

Pierre: I have a lot on my mind but I'll try to keep it concise

Sal: The podium and floor are yours

Pierre: I've been in a brain fog lately and I'm not sure when I'll be out of it...

Sal: I see...

Pierre: I think I need some time away to clear my head but if Kip needs me I'll be there

Sal: Well I wish you safe travels Pierre

Pierre: Thank you Sal

Sal: Well with that I'm Honest Sal and that's the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth


*I exit the podium area and Troglo is backstage with Huggy and he gives me a bearhug*

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

My music hits and I instantly hear some of the loudest boos I’ve heard in a while from behind the curtain. I let the fans simmer for a minute, then head out and absorb the curses from the haters.

Cut my music. Y’all don’t deserve to hear it.
I’ll drop some couplets, but you won’t like it. I bet you jeer it.
I know you’re all wondering why I came back and took out my old fam,
But before I do let me remind you exactly who I am.

I’m a JWA Champ. I’m a J-1 Winner.
I’m the guy who fills the seats and makes sure the scrubs in the locker room eat dinner.
I’m the man with the rhymes, the best of all time,
Mack Caliber’s my name, and my name is divine.

So, Mr Rogers, my mentor, my partner in piracy.
See, when we teamed up, he was also Mr Privacy.
He had no friends, kept mainly to himself.
All that changed when he won MY belt.

All of a sudden, he was Mr Endorsement.
Dating fancy women. Got a crew of reinforcements.
A new boat, some old friends, he was king of the castle.
Did he ever check in on me? Nah, he couldn’t be hassled.

Being Two-Belt Mack took its toll on me, you see.
I hurt my back from carrying his ass and still trying to look out for me.
And then he wins my title in a battle royal, no less.
And has this epic feel good run, and I played it close to the vest.

See, I get hurt and he thinks he can go and eclipse MY star power.
If he had won the J-1, it would have been his finest hour.
He would have had as many accolades as yours truly.
And y’all might’ve forgotten about ole Mack, and my merits were earned duly.

We all know when a team splits, only one guy is successful.
And that’s what made my decision just a little bit stressful.
I’m the better Pirate King, and you know I’m far from being mild—
Red, I did it cause I’m Chet Skye, and you’re Jessie Wild.

I drop my microphone and head behind the curtain. Let the haters hate.

[Daisy Turner]

Barracuda plays and Daisy Turner walks out with a proud smile on her face as she regained the JWA Women's World Championship. She heads into the ring and grabs a mic.

Daisy: I did it! I slayed The Huntress and walked in and out of the J-1 pinnacle finals still your JWA Women's World Champion. Now I need to scout my next challenger. And let me tell you. I am so proud with how big this Women's Division has grown since the inception. We got 6 girls in this division and let me tell you all about them. Obviously me, don't want to get too far into that. Miss Jessie, definitely an underdog in this division who I feel has the potential to be a big star here. Speaking of stars. Winter Hex, or shall I say "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex. She could be a great challenger with this new attitude. Artemis, I did just beat her but knowing the girls on this roster, she won't give up. Sakura Watanabe, a mainstay in this division, a nice person when you meet her, but don't let that personality unguard you. And finally the new girl on the block. Kazuko Jin, the leader of the Joshi faction Akushitsu, a former SUNDOM World Champion. I feel like we could have many bangers in this ring. So le-

Bara Wa Utsukushiku Chiru plays and Kazuko Jin walks out all menacing looking, she walks into the ring and stares daggers at Daisy, she then snatches the mic and begins to speak

Kazuko: 聞いてください、プリンセス。私はあなたのためにここにいるわけではありません。そんなくだらないチャンピオンベルトは要らない。私は一人、そして一人のためだけにここにいます。渡辺桜を撲滅するためにここに来ました。彼女が二度とリングに上がらないようにするため。それとその後。 タイトルに従っていきましょう。

Kazuko leaves the ring and never breaks eye contact with Daisy as she walks out of the arena. Daisy soon exits as well.

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

Winter Hex Productions

The French are glad to die for love
They delight in Wrestling Matches
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive Belts

A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend

A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you take down little ole moi

Men grow cold
As girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
(Just like Miss Jessie)

But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Tiffany's
Cartier
Black Starr
Frost Gorham
Talk to me Artemis
Tell me all about it

There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer
But diamonds are a girl's best friend

There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice

He's your guy
When stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend
(Just like our "World Champ")

It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses
Hurry up and vacate that belt

I've heard of affairs
That are strictly platonic
But diamonds are a girl's best friend

And I think affairs
That you must keep liaisonic
Are better bets
If little pets get big baguettes

Time rolls on
And youth is gone
Just like Sakura in general

But stiff back
Or stiff knees
Just like Daisy's Japanese

Diamonds
Diamonds
I don't mean rhinestones
But diamonds are a girl's best
Best friend

[Bad Luck Bradley]

Brad steps into the ring and Duke mirrors him. The crowd roar and a chant rises. Duke soaks it in, hotdogging and grandstanding, spins in place and-

Tags in Penguino.

A concussive boo from the crowd at Duke's strategy turns to a cheer as Penguino, the most dangerous bird in the world, steps into the ring. Brad wipes a heavily-sweating brow and-

Tags in Seph.

The crowd are now against both former Mad, Bad, Rad Dads for their perceived cowardice, but engaged in the man and bird mid-ring...

[Duke Mongoose]

LeRay: Seph and Penguino circle for a moment and then tie up at center ring. Both are jockeying for position, and Seph backs Penguino into the corner - Duke tags himself in!

Beeman: Clearly Big Daddy Duke doesn't want anything to do with Bradley.

LeRay: Is he scared?

Beeman: Scared? Absolutely not. Tired? Yes, very.

LeRay: Duke and Seph now circle and tie up in the center of the ring. Again, both men jockey for position, with Duke backing Seph into a corner. Brad runs over and makes a tag, but he's way out of his corner and Referee LeBiggun isn't going to allow it. The momentary distraction allows Duke to gouge the eyes of Kobane and toss him almost all the way across the ring with a big hip toss!

Beeman: For a guy who's been around as long as Bradley, you'd think he'd know the rules. You gotta hold the tag rope!

LeRay: OH MY! Penguino with a springboard body splash add insult to injury to the downed Kobane! The referee turns his attention back to the match just in time to miss the illegal double team.

Beeman: That was convenient.

LeRay: Duke covers Kobane with one foot, but the grunge kid gets a shoulder up immediately at one.

Beeman: Stay on him, Duke! Isolate! Cut the ring in half!

LeRay: What are you, their manager now? I'm pretty sure that's Johnny Kobra's deal.

Johnny Kobra: Stay on him, Duke! Isolate! Cut the ring in half!

Beeman: Great minds, right, LeRay?

LeRay: Oh brother.

[Penguino]

LeRay “Duke has Seph sitting in the corner with Penguino right there to tag in, Duke is stomping down on him and he does indeed make the tag, and now a tag back to Duke and it seems we have a parade of stomps here between members of the team.”

Beeman “Oklahoma Stampede baby.”

LeRay “Seph is being brutalized by stomps here and Penguino is tagged in for about the third time here and Duke and him head to mid ring, Duke Irish whips Penguino and Cannonball. Misses, Seph is able to move out of the way sending Penguino into a world of hurt.”

Beeman “C’mon be like Duke and get back up.”

LeRay “Seph crawls over and he makes the hot tag to his Bad Luck Brother. Penguino is getting back up now and Brad charges at him with a clothesline but no he trips over thin air and instead does an awkward spear/ tackle move.”

Beeman “Why does everything turn out bad for us instead of Brad, I mean really he deserves it he just assaulted a Penguin.”

LeRay “Hey let the man get over his fears alright Sean.”

[Duke Mongoose]

(Brad lays on the mat, gently nudging the fallen Penguino with his foot)

LeRay: I might be wrong, but I think Brad is trying to get Penguino to tag out.

Beeman: Bradley is generally a sweaty individual, no doubt, but I don't know if I've ever seen him THIS sweaty. He's really afraid of Penguino, isn't he?

LeRay: He once referred to Penguino as an Eldrich horror. That should tell you all you need to know.

Beeman: Brad's a weird one, isn't he?

LeRay: Penguino is getting back to his feet, much to Brad's horror, and he looks to Duke who is waving "no" emphatically - it doesn't matter! Penguino tags in Duke!

(Duke enters the ring under protest. He covers his ears to block out the booing from the fans in the JWA Studio. While doing so, he walks backwards into a roll up by Bradley)

*One...Two......Kickout*

LeRay: Wow, that was close! We almost had new tag team champions! An angry Mongoose charges at Brad who catches him with a form of a drop toehold and Duke crashes to the mat, face first!

Beeman: I didn't know Bradley knew the drop toehold. Actually, he probably doesn't.

LeRay: Bradley pounces on Duke as he gets to all fours, and now we've got an amateur wrestling match on our hands! Switches! Reversals! Whizzers!

Beeman: Watch your language, LeRay!

LeRay: It's an amateur wrestling thing, Beeman! Bradley comes out with a waistlock on Duke as they get to a standing position, but Duke with the standing switch and immediately applies the Ionian Nerve Grip!

Beeman: A paralyzing hold! I sure hope Referee LeBiggun keeps Kobane from breaking this up, because Bradley's done for!

Duke: WHY'D YOU BRING MAD, BAD, RAD SHAD INTO THIS?!?!

LeRay: Duke is taking this opportunity to interrogate Bradley. Let's see if Brad responds...

Bradley: *straining* ...hot ten... Juicy... Mongoosey...

Duke: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS!

Beeman: I know what it means.

LeRay: No, you don't.

Beeman: You're right, I don't.

LeRay: Bradley appears to be fading. This could be the end!

[Bad Luck Bradley]

Brad is fading, his face both sweaty and pale, red and blue. The ref lifts up one of Brad's damp hands and drops it. The crowd chants one!

The hand is raised and dropped. The crowd chants two!

The hand is raised and dropped. The crowd chants-

Nothing! Brad's hand hovers over the mat. His eyes blearily open and he whispers something to Duke. Suddenly, the Big Daddy is up! He is stomping Brad, booting and kicking him about the ring. The lock is stopped by whatever Brad said, but he might be in a worse place now that Duke is doing some serious damage to the hard-headed Bad Luck Bro.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

OOC: Sorry, for the length, I wanted to balance two newer programs with the over three-month drama with Thorin...
[Before the main event, but after Mack's promo]

(Cannons fire and Pirate King plays as Red Pirate Rogers marches down to the ring, flanked by the whole color crew. There's no smiling or high-fiving this time as Rogers looks determined to do what needs to be done. They climb in and do their synchronized bow, and Rogers takes a minute to look around and smile at all of his crewmen, then turns to face the camera)

RPR: So...anything you want to talk about?
(Fans roar)
RPR: (laughs)...I thought so, well...at your command. (cheer) Now, there's a lot to discuss, but I want to focus on one issue, so lets handle the preliminaries shall we?

First, (with total contempt) Chad. Congratulations on winning the J-1. (Fans boo) It's alright, he clearly prefers to hold cold, soulless metal than the embrace of friends like Pierre...so, he's gotten what he wants. (laugh)

Second, (takes a beat, and closes his eyes) Mack. (boo) I need to tell you...(boo)...I'm sorry. (fans are confused and boo again, the color crew looks taken aback as well). I am now and always will be proud of being a Pirate King, and I regret that I didn't reach out to you in your hour of need. I'm sorry. (Fans mutter, some applaud others grumble) But more than that, I'm deeply disappointed that you think the solution to your anger was to attack me. I know your a man of...few words (laugh) but we each have a phone...(cheer)...it never occurred to you to call me up and say "Hey Rogers what's the deal? Can't you come help your old pal heal?" (laugh). Instead you resort to petty violence and interference...that's not necessary. That's not what a Pirate King would do (cheer) A Pirate Knave...perhaps...(laugh)...a Pirate Punk...(laugh)...probably...A Pirate Part-Time Wanna-Be Whose-Fragile-Masculinity-Needs-Constant-Massaging-and-Validation-Because-He's-A-Modern-Day-Ken-Doll...ABSOLUTELY! (laugh) I think we found you a new nickname (laugh)

But rather than banter about Mister Part-Time Putz...I want to show you how to confront an issue you have. With intellect, integrity, and, honor, which leads me to this....the traitor within the JWA (boo). The person who sought to sell out our company and colleagues to the East India Trading Company, to steal the seat and safety of Taylor Thorin, to have me cast in irons and thrown into a dungeon...

(a royal trumpet sounds and at the entry way stands plump whiskered Augustus J Bullingham, head of the EITC with a host of men by his side...the fans boo)

...Nice to see you Gussie! (laugh) At least I think I see you cowering behind that wall of colonial oppression you brought with you...I'm glad you're here...you led me to investigate the situation in greater depth, to uncover the crux of the problem: your unwavering greed and quest for control. It certainly bespeaks a man desperate to compensate for his...shortcomings (laugh). So, I suppose it's natural you would look to wrestling for an alliance to exploit, there's more than a few small...minded...men in this field as well.

So I'm sure you were delighted when you found out that someone was willing to bring me in to face your charges, and even more delighted when you found out that someone could be leveraged, taken in under a terrible contract, and then have their wealth extracted for your own gain...yes...you duped Taylor Thorin, bilked him and then captured him to expand your empire to his palatial estate. (fans boo...)

But how did you find Thorin? Who facilitated your exploitation? (Who, who, who?) Someone who longed for wealth of their own. Someone who was tired of being a bit player and ready to step up to a higher class of cruelty. Someone who also loathed me and hoped to eliminate me at the same time. Someone who needs and deserves to be confronted immediately and directly. (Pause...tension is thick) Mr. Bambino!!

Vinny: (Stepping forward, at attention) Yes Captain.
RPR: (Turning to face Vinny) Was it worth it?
Vinny: Sir?
RPR: Working for Bullingham...was it worth it? (Fans react, Vinny looks stunned) You get a cut of Thorin's wealth...a supportive backer to launch you into your own singles career...and you get even with me for neglecting you after Yuppie, and Mack, and Tommy...you're the EITC's agent...(fans boo, Vinny looks scared and shocked)...and I want to know...was it worth it? 
Vinny: C-C-Captain...I...I...(he pauses and looks straight ahead)...oh to hell with this. Get him.

(The color crew jumps on Rogers, Kenny and Chase quickly stomping him before he can react, Peter Dombrowski hangs back a bit but joins in and delivers a Thesz press to Rogers as the EITC agents come down and join in while Vinny takes the mic)

Vinny: Was it worth it? Taking a chump's money and seeing you get what's coming to you? We were losers before we joined up with your little crayola company, and we're still losers, but now you're the bigger loser Rogers...was it worth it? You bet your ***! (Vinny joins in, it's about eight-on-one and the fans jeer the attack while Augustus Bullingham walks away, Sean Beeman hops on the mic)
Beeman: This is the best present I could have asked for! Rogers is all alone! Pierre's on a break, Arizona's at home, Mack came to his senses! He's TOAST!

[Duke Mongoose]

LeRay: Duke is really laying the leather to Bradley! I don't know what he said, but it has most certainly lit a fire under Mongoose. And that's impressive, considering how fired up Duke was at the start of the match!

Beeman: If Brad were smart, and we know he's not, but if he were, he'd keep his mouth shut.

LeRay: Duke sends Brad across the ring and nails him coming back with a Running Neckbreaker Drop! Duke doesn't go for the cover, instead dragging Bradley up to his feet. Duke moves Brad into position - Jumping Piledriver! Duke goes for the cover - No! He's dragging Bradley up to his feet again.

Beeman: I'm not sure this is a smart move. Johnny Kobra is screaming for someone to get a body bag, and if Duke keeps this up he may not be exaggerating!

LeRay: Duke lays Bradley against the turnbuckle pad and now begins laying in Mongolian Chops! Brad drops to the mat after a few, but Duke hoists him back up and continues!

Beeman: I love watching Brad get obliterated, but this is getting out of hand. The referee should probably step in.

LeRay: Or Seph Kobane, who has broken free of his shell of indifference for at least a moment and has sprinted across the ring apron and blasted Duke in the face with a gamengiri!

Beeman: That's illegal!

LeRay: TIM-BER! Duke falls flat on the mat! This is Bradley's chance to make the tag! Kobane is actually pounding on the turnbuckle to rally these fans! I've never seen anything like this, or at least not from these two!

Beeman: Penguino! Do something! Help your father!

LeRay: Duke is NOT Penguino's father. We saw Papaguino in the opening video package!

Beeman: I don't mean literally!

LeRay: Bradley slips and slides across the mat, reaching each time desperately for the tag, missing by less and less each time.

Beeman: Hold on, Duke's getting to his feet...

(Duke lunges at Bradley to stop him, but the combination of being dizzy from the kick to the head and Bradley's perspiration cause Duke to miss. Bradley makes the tag to Kobane and the crowd erupts)

LeRay: Here comes Seph Kobane and he's all fired up like a Southern babyface!

Beeman: Of all the times for him to be actually invested in what's happening!