JWA Glory Episode 180 - Red Pirate Rogers vs. Penguino

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

Tonight's main event is a preview battle of sorts, as one half of the newly crowned World Tag Team Champions, Red Pirate Rogers, will do battle with Penguino who, alongside Duke Mongoose, will challenge Rogers and The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM for the titles at Crash Carnival. This match was made last week when Duke requested a singles match for "his boy" Penguino. Suspicious that Duke didn't want to get in the ring himself, but I digress. Who will come out on top in this battle of popular JWA stars?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Keeping on the topic of the World Tag Team Champions, last week the other half of the champions, The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM, was defeated in an inter-gender match against Winter Hex. Clearly not the result a newly crowned champion would be hoping for, but a historic moment to be sure. What is next for "The Reminiscer" following last week's victory? Could it be something involving Mack Caliber?

While anything can happen in this wacky world of professional wrestling, I doubt that Winter is next in line to challenge Arizona Chance for the World Heavyweight Title. Last week Arizona cast a pretty wide net for potential challengers. One of the names mentioned who has been absent as of late is Omega Satyros. We've been seeing Diablo and The Black Cat going about business on their own lately, alluding to Satyros just needing time in the wake of recent events. Could Omega be preparing for another run at the champ? Will this be the week we find out?

Speaking of making a run at the champ, Artemis seems dead set on getting another shot at Jessie Aldean and the Women's World Championship. Someone who might have something to say about that? The newly returned Daisy Turner. I get the feeling that Daisy and "The Huntress" will cross paths sooner than later.

Now, for a serious matter. "The Relentless" Conor Caine returned to JWA programming at Super Glory with a chip on his shoulder and a shovel on the other. He put everyone on the roster on notice that he was going to go through anyone to get back to the top. Chad Shredsbury took exception to this, and the two have been going at each other both here and on social media ever since. Caine was not medically cleared and so a match had not been booked. This weekend on Mania, Caine stated that he had received medical clearance. I have had time to review his medical notes from the somewhat "infamous" Dr. Zamboni and, while I have some reservations given the man's history, I have no choice but to declare that Conor Caine is fit to return to in-ring competition starting next week. Therefore, next week's main event will be Chad Shredsbury vs. "Relentless" Conor Caine. HOWEVER, this medical clearance is on a temporary basis. I reserve the right to review Caine's medical status with our own JWA medical staff, and if Caine cannot pass a JWA sponsored medical exam within 60 days, he will once again be on medical suspension. 

Let's get this show underway. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Penguino]

“Stay Vicious” by the Gaslight Anthem blasts over the loudspeakers and Penguino makes his way out.

Beeman “So here he is, I’m expecting buon to lose considering he’s almost nothing without Duke.”

LeRay “He doesn’t seem to be however Sean especially her with Johnny Kobra in his corner.”

Beeman “Kobra Scmobra it won’t help the animal that wouldn’t have success without the other, like a pack of Lions.”

LeRay “I believe the term you’re looking for is pride.”

Penguino rolls into the ring and sets himself in the corner waits no for his opponent.

[Omega Satyros]

A vignette begins playing, the golden "WHAT DΩES IT TAKE TΩ WIN?" fades into a scene of Omega in his hoodie, sat in front of a mirror, staring at his reflection.

Omega: What does it take to win? What does it take to win? I'll tell you. It takes the focus and training to properly prepare for your opponent. It takes the drive and hunger for victory. It takes a bit of luck for everything to fall into place. But most of all, it takes the willpower to do anything, whatever it takes, to secure the victory. At Super Glory, I was ready to do whatever it took to secure the World Heavyweight Championship.

Omega's eyes shift, showing he wasn't directing the rest to the audience.

Omega: But you weren't. You weren't ready. Things started off hot when you showed up in JWA, everything was going according to plan. But then came the title match with Conor Caine. Then things got derailed in the J-1. You either weren't ready or weren't willing to do what it took for this to succeed. You fell short, you keep falling short. Just look at the mess of trying to go after the tag belts. How much longer must this go on, until you're ready to step up, and do what needs to be done? Something needs to change, and damnit, something is going to change.

Omega gets up from the chair and punches the mirror, causing shards to rain down.

Omega: I can't keep doing this, I know what needs to be done.

He looks down at his first, golden ichor seeping from between glass shards, and walks out of frame.

[Daisy Turner]

Daisy stands in the middle of the ring with a mic in her hand

Daisy: You know I've got a problem. And that problem is with Artemis. You see I couldn't make a return without having the JWA resident yapper make a comment about it. This girl is all talk but no bite, it's kinda ironic she wants to call herself the "Huntress". All she's been is a stepping stone for others to make their careers a success. like who on the active roster have you beaten if we exclude JWA Mania matches... Don't worry... I'll wait. You see that's exactly my point. I mean I guess you could say she's beaten Sakura but for real. Sakura I love you and all but who hasn't beaten Sakura? You tried to take the belt away from me and guess what? You failed. And not long ago you tried to take the belt away from Jessie Aldean and guess what? You failed again.  You're like the Clash Maddux of the JWA. You can only get yourself over when you bring up names like the real stars.

But however, since I am such a nice and kind person, I want to give you a chance to redeem yourself. You and me, one on one, in the middle of the ring. And since I am the Anarchy of the JWA, let's make this an Anarchy Rulez Match. No disqualification, no count out, anything goes. Hell bring the entire orgy club with you because I'll knock them down too and I'm gonna teach you a lesson about when the Huntress, becomes the hunted. And once I am done with you Artemis. My next goal, is to reclaim the JWA Women's World Championship from Jessie Aldean. But in the meantime, I'll look forward to an answer from you.

Daisy's music plays and she walks out of the studio

LeRay: Well how about that. Daisy had some pretty big things to say about Artemis

Beeman: And she challenged her to an Anarchy Rulez match as well. Isn't that just a No Holds Barred match?

LeRay: Well there is no problem in renaming matches. But I wonder what Artemis' response is

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

~Winter Hex Productions~

Winter: Alas it is I, your star of the show, the greatest intergender wrestler of the modern era, "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex. Last week I took down that big monster they call DOOM and I proved to the entire world just how good I am. Now that I will have for sure put a notice on the locker room here at JWA I'm hope I grabbed the attention of one fake actor known as Arizona Chance. You hear this? You shall see me as a threat to your measly title reign and honestly so shall those pathetic Tag Team champions, Mack and I will run circles of them any day. Every champion (not you Jessie) shall fear me because I am on a path to be JWA's first triple crown champion. I've already held the Women's World, now I just need a tag and a world title reign and voila. Ultimate Stardom, here we come.

(Winter Hex sings a line from "End of the World" by Skeeter Davis however makes slight adjustments to the lyrics)

Winter: ♫Why does your heart go on beating? why do those eyes of yours cry? Don't they know, it's the end of the world, it ended when I say goodbye♫

~Fin~

[Artemis]

Daisy is backstage, making her way to her band's van, when she's struck in the back with a lead pipe. Artemis swings away at Daisy's lower back with the lead pipe.

Artemis: I warned you to stay out of my way! I warned you!

JWA Officials and refs are trying to get break up the assault, but the Hunters are preventing them from getting close. Artemis delivers Wrath of the Hunt to Daisy. She's left clutching at her back as the Hunters begin brawling with those trying to help Daisy.

Artemis: You chose to sit on the sidelines for two months. You admitted it yourself that you lost to Jessie Aldean fair and square. I've been screwed out of my rightful title too many times. I will not be screwed out of it again just because you want to waltz back in here playing riot girl. You're not punk rock, you're just a fragile little punk. So, if you want to step in the ring with me, I wish you luck making it there so I can give you a reason to be sat out for months. 

Artemis nails one last pipe blow to Daisy's back as the officials break through and pull her away from Daisy.

[Duke Mongoose]

(As Penguino awaits the entrance of Red Pirate Rogers, suddenly Duke Mongoose emerges from the locker room to no music or fanfare, dressed in a JWA track suit. He makes his way down to ringside and takes his position next to Johnny Kobra, who looks a bit surprised to see Duke).

LeRay: It looks like Duke is going to be in Penguino's corner after all.

Beeman: You had doubts? Penguino is his boy, after all!

LeRay: Yes, but Duke also said that it was mostly Penguino's fault they lost the tag titles.

Beeman: Semantics, LeRay! Now where the heck is that stupid pirate buffoon and his portly companion?

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

Mar 26, 2024 22:34:12 GMT -5 "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex said:

~Winter Hex Productions~

Winter: Alas it is I, your star of the show, the greatest intergender wrestler of the modern era, "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex. Last week I took down that big monster they call DOOM and I proved to the entire world just how good I am. Now that I will have for sure put a notice on the locker room here at JWA I'm hope I grabbed the attention of one fake actor known as Arizona Chance. You hear this? You shall see me as a threat to your measly title reign and honestly so shall those pathetic Tag Team champions, Mack and I will run circles of them any day. Every champion (not you Jessie) shall fear me because I am on a path to be JWA's first triple crown champion. I've already held the Women's World, now I just need a tag and a world title reign and voila. Ultimate Stardom, here we come.

(Winter Hex sings a line from "End of the World" by Skeeter Davis however makes slight adjustments to the lyrics)

Winter: ♫Why does your heart go on beating? why do those eyes of yours cry? Don't they know, it's the end of the world, it ended when I say goodbye♫

~Fin~

I approach Winter after the interview and the camera pans over to me. I am once again in a dark suit, one that could have been worn by Cary Grant. My hair is perfectly cemented into place, and I have a bouquet of roses and assorted flowers for her. She smiles wryly and accepts the flowers. I ask if I may make a brief statement, and she waves her hand in my direction. I pull an envelope from my coat pocket and unfold a piece of stationery.

Ahem. A poem in honor of the Reminiscer.
She defeated a slovenly man last week. Ain’t that a pisser!
I would love to take her to the Copa Cabana to dance—
But first, she has business: taking down Arizona Chance.

I fully support this most modern of women.
I’ve been a bit rough and tumble, but Winter assured me all is forgiven.
So from here on out, Debonair Mack Caliber can live in your head.
So, wanna hit the town? I bet we can paint the town red.

I hold my arm out to escort Winter, and the camera fades out before she can respond.

[Penguino]

“After Reds entrance”

LeRay “We are ready to go here as Panther Haberdashery rings the bell to which we get a lockup. Penguino slides between Rogers legs to hit a German suplex, Penguino with a dominant start here.”

Beeman “And we all know this is possible because Duke is in his corner giving him extra animal wisdom.”

LeRay “I highly doubt that Penguino is an established enough wrestler on his own.”

Penguino begins to taunt but Red quickly gets up and hits a drop kick from behind sending Penguino into the turnbuckle hard beak first, he bounces back off into a back suplex from the Pirate.

Beeman “Some established wrestler right Mick.”

LeRay “four moves have been hit Sean. Penguino gets back up and sends Red into the corner with an Irish whip and now he’s coming in with a barrage of flipper chops and he backs up, charging in looking for a clothesline but Rogers dodges, and now ‘Guino turns around coming off the buckles for a northern lights suplex. Rogers bridges for a 1 count before the humanoid Penguin kicks out

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

[Earlier in the show…]



Conor Caine makes his way to the ring, shovel over his shoulder, and steps between the ropes. After climbing a turnbuckle to interact with the fans he calls for a mic and takes his place center-ring…

CAINE: On Mania over the weekend I told you all I was ring-ready and I didn’t lie. I told Chad Shredsbury I’d be here tonight, carrying this place on my back like always, and I didn’t lie. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point: Conor Caine calls it like it is. So when I stood out here on Super Glory and said this place was going to the dogs and that I was the only one capable of getting things back on track, you know I was telling the truth!

Caine points his shovel at the entrance curtain.

CAINE: It’s trial by fire: step into this ring with me and either hang with the best in the business, or get exposed for the fraud you are! And it’s kinda fitting that the first member of this circus to step up was the biggest clown we have in the locker room: Chad Shredsbury.

The fans boo Chad’s name. Conor lets it go for a moment before lifting the mic to his lips, but before he can utter a word, Shredsbury’s music hits the sound system…

[Duke Mongoose]

Mar 27, 2024 9:34:23 GMT -5 Penguino said:

“After Reds entrance”

LeRay “We are ready to go here as Panther Haberdashery rings the bell to which we get a lockup. Penguino slides between Rogers legs to hit a German suplex, Penguino with a dominant start here.”

Beeman “And we all know this is possible because Duke is in his corner giving him extra animal wisdom.”

LeRay “I highly doubt that Penguino is an established enough wrestler on his own.”

Penguino begins to taunt but Red quickly gets up and hits a drop kick from behind sending Penguino into the turnbuckle hard beak first, he bounces back off into a back suplex from the Pirate.

Beeman “Some established wrestler right Mick.”

LeRay “four moves have been hit Sean. Penguino gets back up and sends Red into the corner with an Irish whip and now he’s coming in with a barrage of flipper chops and he backs up, charging in looking for a clothesline but Rogers dodges, and now ‘Guino turns around coming off the buckles for a northern lights suplex. Rogers bridges for a 1 count before the humanoid Penguin kicks out

(The camera picks up some of the audio from ringside)

Duke: Galldernnit, boy! Don't let him bridge on you like that! Beak him! HARD!

[Penguino]

Penguino kips up just as Rogers gets to his feet

LeRay “Even after taking some damage Penguino seems fine and just as energetic. The penguin now from the ropes with a clothesline, Red gets up quickly only to eat another one and he gets back up and the third times the charm as Pirate stays down this time.”

Beeman “See Dukes words are working and now Penguino is following the directions and pecking the evil pirate.”

LeRay “Rogers is far from evil partner, but now after creating some tears in Rogers mask ‘Guino is heading up to the top rope.”

Beeman “You know what they say LeRay What goes up must come down with a flying penguin.”

LeRay “Penguino comes crashing down and that might be it for Red and his rib cage. The cover 1. 2. No a last second kick out from rogers.”

[Red Pirate Rogers]

OOC: Sorry...getting over flu and trying to manage everything before a family vacation kicks off tomorrow night.

Penguino looks disappointed and both Johnny and Duke complain  to the ref.

Beeman: I still think this no good pie-rat has been greasing the palms of officials around here.

LeRay: Oh would you stop!

Penguino picks Rogers up and pursues him with chopping wings smacking against his chest raising a whole new set of red marks on Rogers, soon the humanoid penguin grabs and whips Rogers into the ropes and then uses his lower center of gravity to set up a great back body drop that leaves Rogers sprawled on the canvas.

[Chad Shredsbury]

Mar 27, 2024 11:00:45 GMT -5 “The Relentless” Conor Caine said:

[Earlier in the show…]



Conor Caine makes his way to the ring, shovel over his shoulder, and steps between the ropes. After climbing a turnbuckle to interact with the fans he calls for a mic and takes his place center-ring…

CAINE: On Mania over the weekend I told you all I was ring-ready and I didn’t lie. I told Chad Shredsbury I’d be here tonight, carrying this place on my back like always, and I didn’t lie. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point: Conor Caine calls it like it is. So when I stood out here on Super Glory and said this place was going to the dogs and that I was the only one capable of getting things back on track, you know I was telling the truth!

Caine points his shovel at the entrance curtain.

CAINE: It’s trial by fire: step into this ring with me and either hang with the best in the business, or get exposed for the fraud you are! And it’s kinda fitting that the first member of this circus to step up was the biggest clown we have in the locker room: Chad Shredsbury.

The fans boo Chad’s name. Conor lets it go for a moment before lifting the mic to his lips, but before he can utter a word, Shredsbury’s music hits the sound system…

“Good Vibrations” hits and Chad Shredsbury comes out to a chorus of boos, oozing confidence as he strolls to the ring, mocking Caine by pointing his metal detector up at Caine’s pointed shovel.

LeRay. I’ve gotta admit I’m a little surprised Shredsbury is showing his face here tonight.

Beeman. Me too. He’s so talented and handsome he probably turned down a lot of plans to come look at this loser’s ugly mug.

LeRay. That’s not entirely what I meant, Sean, but hr we have it, it’s been a few weeks in the making, but we have Connor Caine and Chad Shredsbury face to face in the ring.

Chad gabs a mic.

Chad. Sup, bruh?

Caine. That’s what you have to say, tough guy? I’ve gotta tell you, Chad, I’m almost impressed you have the guts to come out here and face me. I thought maybe you’d be hiding out on the beach again, polishing your surfboard—

Chad. Let me know when you’re done, pal. Because, for the guy that out the whole locker room on blast, and can’t wait to lead by example, all I ever see you do is talk-talk-talk. A real leader, leads by example. With action, amigo.

Caine. I’m pretty sure that when I dominated this place for the last year that was a pretty solid example of leading by action.

Chad. Nah, Caine. This is action.

Chad swings the metal detector at Caine, who blocks it with the shovel.

LeRay. What in the world is happening here? Caine and Shredsbury are having a duel with a metal detector and a shovel?! They are going to kill one another!

Beeman. The metal detector is bent in half and Connor swings wildly with that shovel and spun himself halfway around and gets a super kick to the face for his trouble. He’s clearly no ready for this, Connor Caine is in trouble and he deserves every bit of it!

LeRay. He’s staggered but the kick didn’t drop him!

Beeman. Haha, but he did drop his precious shovel, and now Chad Shredsbury is holding and and he—

LeRay. Sweet baby Jesus! He smashed Caine in his inured knee with a shovel!

Beeman. That put the relentless one down.

LeRay. And again! A third shovel shot to the knee! Connor Caine is down and covering up as medical staff and officials swarm the ring.

Chad throws the shovel down and grabs the microphone again as he exits the ring.

Chad. In any case, big guy… that was me accepting the match for next week. If he can walk, well… book it, Kip!

[Thumper Moore III]

HONEST SAL: I’m backstage here with your JWA Champion, Arizona Chance. Now, Arizona, you heard the words from Winter Hex earlier in the show. She apparently wants to parlay her victory over the Greatest Wrestler of Doom last week—

ARIZONA; Sal, it’s DOOM. More emphasis on the “OO”.

SAL: Yes, The Greatest—

ARIZONA: Sal, I’m picking up what you’re laying down. And let me tell you this: I take every threat in the JWA seriously, and Winter Hex proved she is a threat last week. She’s had two matches against men now— one against one half of the tag champs— and she’s 2-0. If that doesn’t get your attention, I don’t know what will.

SAL: Well, there is the matter of—

ARIZONA: Of what, Sal? Go ahead and say what you were about to say. Go ahead and invalidate what Daisy Turner, Jessie Aldean, Artemis, Winter Hex, and MY WIFE have accomplished. Go ahead. Oh, and speak of the angel—

Veronica Chance dances her way into the camera’s eye. She kisses Arizona on the cheek, and he plays along and dances with her for a moment.

VERONICA: Thanks babe. Your timing in asking me to be here was perfect. Winter— yeah, he heard you, and that’s why I’m here. I’ve been asked to come out of my semi-retirement to issue a challenge on my husband’s behalf. Winter— how about you and your boy-toy Mack show up here in a couple weeks and me and my husband will show you what a real power couple looks like!

SAL: Whoa-ho! Is that a challenge for a mixed tag match?

ARIZONA: That’s exactly what it is, Sal. Kip, it’s in your hands now. Winter, Mack— hopefully we’ll see you in the ring soon.