JWA Glory Episode 204 - Tag Team Title Handicap Match

[Kip Whistler]

Domination, Inc. explodes!

Tonight, in this very ring, both members of the World Tag Team Champions will do battle with one another to determine who will maintain custody of the title and continue its lineage! On one side of the ring will be Conor Caine, standing all alone following his revelation last week that his behavior as of late has been a giant ruse to rile up the fans and give them an enemy to rally against. There was no sketchy medical treatment or illicit chemicals used. I'm sure Caine didn't expect to be laid out following the reveal of the truth, but that's exactly what happened. On the other side of the ring will be the man who currently holds the gold alongside Caine, Omega Satyros, and his partner The Black Cat. Cat has been on the fringes of Domination, Inc. but now has a chance to sign his name into the JWA record books if he and Satyros are victorious and claim the tag team championships. Two questions remain - can Conor Caine defeat both Satyros and Cat by himself? and if Conor wins, who will he name as his partner?

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Pierre The Enormous was successful in his first defense of the JWA Openweight Championship last week when he defeated The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM. However, the headline from last week wasn't Pierre's victory, but rather the return of his old friend turned nemesis - Chad Shredsbury! Unfortunately, Shredsbury didn't give us any indication as to what his intentions are now that he's returned, but the issues between himself and Pierre are likely not finished.

Elsewhere in JWA, we found out last week that at Guts & Gory it will be Duke Mongoose defending the JWA World Heavyweight Championship against Penguino! These two set the record for the longest tag team championship reign in JWA and then each went on to win singles gold. Penguino has proven to be a thorn in the side of Mongoose, and will look to end Duke's title reign before it can truly begin. We expect to hear from both champion and challenger during the broadcast.

We also learned last week that Artemis and Lady Diana Gallus will go one on one in a Loser Leaves JWA Match at Guts & Gory. This rivalry is deeply personal and it seems that the JWA isn't big enough for the both of these ladies anymore. Diana chose the stipulation, but also left it open for Artemis to add her own stipulation to their match. What will The Huntress decide?

In what is sure to be an epic showdown, Slashmaster returns to regular JWA competition to face Bayou Burl at Guts & Gory! We've recently discovered that it was Bayou Burl who kept Slashmaster locked away all these years, not to protect the JWA from Slash's unrelenting horror, but rather to make Slash feel abandoned and forgotten like how Burl felt when he was The Manhattan Mauler. We've seen what Slashmaster is capable of on a regular day; just imagine what kind of terror he'll unleash upon someone he's actually upset with! Burl isn't one to shy away from a fight, and his new "The Fright" persona might just be what it takes to defeat Slashmaster in the ring. We hope to hear from both of these forces during tonight's show.

What exactly is the King of Games up to? He challenged anyone to a match, Thumper Moore III accepted, and then last week the King told everyone that he wasn't going to fight. Is this all some kind of mind game? 

Speaking of Thumper Moore III, it seems that with the implosion of Domination, Inc. and the recent antics from the King of Games, that his quest to capture the tag team titles may have been put on the back burner. Who does he have his eyes on as a partner? He seemed to be favoring a certain Scarlet Swashbuckler...

Mack Caliber seems to be in a downward mental spiral. First he lost his love, Winter Hex. Then Domination, Inc. disintegrated with Caine's revelation last week. Mack's behavior in the ring last week was unsettling, to say the least. It would seem that his meeting with Yuppie VP from a few weeks ago didn't straighten things out at all. Maybe we'll find out more of what's going on in Mack's head this week.

With Guts & Gory just a few weeks away, that means it's almost J-1 Pinnacle time once again. I'm working feverishly to confirm the list of participants for this year. It could be the biggest version of the tournament yet. Stay tuned!

And with that, let's start the show. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Omega Satyros]

LeRay: As of right now Beeman, there are no Tag Team Champions, nominally vacated as The Alpha & Omega implode a scant 3 months after winning the belts.

Beeman: And how dare Conor Caine rob us of what should've been one of the best tag title reigns of all time. Instead the run of The Alpha & Omega sits behind the likes of The Pirates of DOOM and Big Waves' first time with the belts.

LeRay: That may be the case, but these belts haven't always been a bastion of seasons long reigns.

"Wanted: Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi hits, cutting off LeRay's exploration of the Tag Title lineage.

Angela Apex: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 266 pounds, Omega Satyros and The Black Cat, DIVINE HUBRIS!

Beeman: Conor Caine's in for a painful lesson tonight. He should've thought twice before betraying Domination Inc.

LeRay: The numbers game will be a tricky one for Conor to tackle here tonight.

Omega and Black Cat make their way down to the ring, boasting both belts in their possession.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*I lumber my way to the podium*

Sal: Haven't been up here in a while eh?

Pierre: Oh hush...

Sal: So what's on your mind?

Pierre: Obviously Chad... I still don't know what his angle is...

Sal: I see...

Pierre: I'm 99% sure he wants a title match and I'm happy to oblige if he asks... as of now though he's clammed up...

Sal: Well it's been a pleasure Pierre

Pierre: Always is

Sal: Well I'm Honest Sal and that's the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Pierre: *I leave the podium giving headpats and hugs to anyone who asks*

[Thumper Moore III]

TONI CRUISE: I’m here with my barrel-chested friend, Thumper Moore III. Thumper, reports are you are eyeing a certain pirate as a potential tag partner.

THUMPER: Toni, greetings and salutations. Ah, the Crimson Corsair. The Burgundy Buccaneer. The Scarlet Scallywag. The Maroon Musketeer. Toni, he’s on my list, that’s all I’ll say. But so are many great wrestlers here.

TONI: Thumper, have you heard any word yet about your upcoming match with the King of Games?

THUMPER: While I would love to report to you that our match is back on, I have to admit that has not materialized. I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of the Royal Player, and I must assume that his lack of presence this week will lead to a lack of appearance next week as well.

TONI: What would you say to him if he were here in front of you?

THUMPER: The same thing I’d say to you right now. But I’d say it a little differently. I’d say it like this. King of Games, tu madre es avergonzado de ti. Tu padre tiene miedo de mostrar su cara porque criaron un cobarde. Hacer un desafío y luego echarse atrás es patético. A menos que aparezcas para pelear la próxima semana, no te molestes en volver a aparecer por aquí.

TONI: Care to translate?

THUMPER: Let’s just say he can show up next week or not at all.

[Artemis]

Shattered glass sounds out through the audience. A gullible few perk up as if expecting Ace of Spades, only to groan in disappointment when "Don't Fear The Reaper" hits and Artemis makes her way down to the ring. The ring has mirrors set up in each corner.

Artemis: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my Shattered Sanctum. There's something I'd like to address. Diana walked out here last week and tried some bogus psycho analysis on me. She's trying so hard to twist around into some form where she's in the right. I see right through all that bs. You wanna talk about mirrors, let's talk. Because when I look in these mirrors, I see the only woman who's ever been worth a damn in this company. The only one who deserves to be here, who hasn't gone skittering out after I signed. Whether it's Japan, Hollywood, AOE, WW, LLL, I could go on, but from the day I stepped into this company, I've been dedicated to this company. No other woman who's been through those doors can say the same. When I look in these mirrors, I see glory that's been wrongfully stifled by failure. Every step of the way since I've been here, I've been screwed over and cheated out of what I deserve. I'm the one these fans should be cheering, if half the garbage I've been forced to bear had been put on any of their favorites, they'd be up in arms, lambasting JWA all over Chirpy demanding they do right by me.

Artemis catches her frenzied look in one of the mirrors and takes a moment to regain her composure.

Artemis: But no, I'm cast as the villain, because they don't want to root for greatness. They want to root for the likes of you. You claim to be so proud and content with your meager existence, but just like every one of these fools in the crowd booing me right now, at the end of the day, you go home, and you look in the mirror. And you see failure looking back at you. You've failed every step of the way in your career, so don't lie and claim your pleased in your mediocrity. But I'll give you credit, you were right about one thing. I'm not happy. I'm not happy that I have to share my space with you. So, I'm more than happy to send you packing back to Cleveland. An absolutely perfect place for you to end up. An empty void of a person stuck in a factory of sadness. But that's not all, you're even dumb enough to let me add my own spin to the match, as if initiating your pink slip isn't enough. Because I have a special match planned. There will be a mirror in each corner, and whoever can send their opponent through one first, wins. A Shattered Mirror Match. At Guts and Glory, I'm not just going to end your JWA career 6 months too late, I'm going to shatter your very soul.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

"Cheat Code" by Sage Francis plays and the audience begin booing again. Conor Caine steps on to the stage with his tag title in his hand, and while a mild pop can be heard in the background the vast majority of the fans in attendance still detest the former Relentless One. For his part, Conor looks around at the crowd and nods a little, accepting the hatred.

Apex: And their... opponent: making his way to the ring, weighing in at 265 lbs; from Providence, Rhode Island... Conor Caaaaaaine!

LeRay: It looks like adjectiveless Conor Caine is in fact going it alone tonight! He said he wouldn't beg anybody in the locker room to tag with him, and it looks like nobody - even Red Pirate Rogers - was keen to offer their support!

Beeman: Put this in the history books because it doesn't happen often, LeRay, but I'm about to agree with Red Pirate Rogers! Who in their right mind would want to hitch their wagon to a back-stabber like Conor Caine? Even if he had any integrity - which he doesn't! - they'd only be signing on to getting humiliated by Divine Hubris!

LeRay: He really has fallen far if even Sean Beeman can lecture him about integrity. Still, I have no sympathy for Conor Caine - what he did was deplorable - and I don't blame anybody for wanting to give him a wide birth. Yet and still, we've seen what the combined might of Domination Inc can do to their victims, so I believe Conor Caine is going to have a very long night at the office in Divine Hubris' debut match!

Beeman: It's a no brainer, Mick! Not only do Divine Hubris have a one pound weight advantage over Conor Caine, but he's just two weeks out from a brutal No Holds Barred match with Red Pirate Rogers. The odds would have been stacked against him on a good day, but this is just going to be one long, drawn out, (hopefully bloody) abdication of Conor Caine's tag title! 

Caine is now in the ring, he hands his tag title to referee Panther Haberdashery and waits in his corner as Omega and Black Cat confer in theirs.

LeRay: Conor Caine is definitely lacking in his usual swagger and intimidating ring presence. He's looking focused and we can see his gears are turning, but he's not his usual self! Is it a crisis of confidence or conscience weighing him down? Either way, he's going to need to give this match all he can if he wants to come out triumphant!

[Omega Satyros]

The bell rings and Black Cat starts the match. He pulls Conor into a wrist lock, which quickly gets reversed into a head lock. Black Cat dips down, dragging Conor over his shoulder to the mat. He begins stomping at Conor's arm. He tags in Omega and the pair take turns targetting Conor's arm.

LeRay: Divine Hubris working very well together, seemingly eager to take out a significant proportion of Conor's offense with the arm attacks.

Beeman: Of course they're working well together. We've already seen how good of a team they are when they whooped the Killie's Crew. Compared to those two, Conor alone oughta be a cakewalk.

LeRay: He's still one of the fiercest fighters on this roster Beeman. It's never wise to count Conor out.

Beeman: Was I counting him out, or recognizing that he's stacked the odds against himself here?

Omega glares down at Conor. He pulls his former partner to his feet before sending a right hook to Conor's head. Conor returns the blow, and a few vocal fans are slowly beginning to cheer for Conor through the exchange. Conor lands a blow that sends Omega staggering for a moment. Conor hits the ropes for some momentum, only to get caught by a clothesline from Omega.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: Caine still struggling to get any momentum going here in these crucial early stages of the match!

Conor's shaking lose the cobwebs and rolling on to all fours as Omega approaches with some sharp kicks to the ribs, sending Conor down again.

LeRay: Satyros raises Caine up only to hit him with a snap suplex! Caine is now laid out in Divine Hubris' corner. Omega tags Black Cat in again.

Black Cat scales the turnbuckles as Omega grabs Conor's arm and stretches it out to his side for Black Cat to leg drop on to.

LeRay: A brutal but brilliant piece of teamwork there from Satyros and Black Cat!

Omega leaves the ring as Black Cat continues to focus on the arm: he slams it off the mat a couple of times before raising Conor up with a wrist lock.

LeRay: Look at the torque Black Cat is putting on that arm! Caine looks to be in agony.

Black Cat goes to twist the arm again but Conor plants his feet, he pulls Cat towards him and hits him with short arm lariat that tuns Cat inside out. The fans pop a little for the spectacle.

LeRay: Caine finally breaks Divine Hubris's momentum with that huge shot but will he be able to mount an offence of his own?!

Cat and Caine are both down: Cat is blinking back the stars from that shot as Conor lies clutching his arm. Both men get to their feet, with Cat shaking his head and Cane shaking his arm.

LeRay: Black Cat is the first to move, coming at Caine with a huge punch! Caine ducks it, Cat turns and gets a kick to the midsection. Conor hits him with a stiff right to floor the smaller man, but that arm is still smarting! He raises Cat up and whips him to the ropes! Wait, Cat hops to the middle ropes, he springboards back at Caine with a crossbody! Caine catches him out of midair and hits him with a spinning powerslam! Cover! Cat kicks out at one but Omega is already on his way in with a dropkick to Conor Caine!

The fans boo Omega as Conor is again on the defensive.

[Duke Mongoose]

*prior to the main event*

Honest Sal: Please welcome my guest at this time, JWA World Heavyweight Champion Duke Mongoose!

(The fans boo as Duke struts his way through the curtain and towards the podium. Duke is wearing a shiny gold track suit with the JWA World Title belt around his waist, along with a gold fedora with a long white feather and sunglasses)

Sal: Duke, it looks like you'll be facing Penguino at Guts & Gory. You two are no strangers to one another, that's for sure.

Duke: SALLY BOY! Everyone watching knows that Penguino used to be my boy. We were the greatest tag team this company has ever seen! The Forever Champs! Birds of a Feather! Penguin and Mongoose!

Sal: A mongoose isn't a bird.

Duke: CONSARNIT, SAL! Would you let me speak? What I'm trying to say is, deep down, Penguino is still my boy. He and I are a lot more alike than he realizes. The real issue is, and always has been, that no good coattail rider Johnny Kobra!

Sal: I'm sure you'll recall that when you and Penguino faced off at Super Glory back in June, Johnny was suspended above the ring in a shark cage and you still weren't able to defeat Penguino.

Duke: DAGGUMMIT, SAL! There you go again! The World Champion is talking right now, so ZIP IT! Kobra wants to come out here and ramble about pronouns and how Penguino is going to kick my ass. Big Daddy Duke isn't going to get beaten by a little penguin now that he's got the gold. The Golden Mongoose is going to run right through Penguino, just like I'm going to run right through everyone in the J-1 Pinnacle tournament!

Sal: Best of luck to you, Duke. Mick, Sean - back to you!

(Duke poses obnoxiously as fans boo and the shot returns to the ring)

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

LeRay: Panther Haberdashery is leading Satyros out of the ring as Black Cat and Conor Caine get back to their feet.

The two circle each other as Conor rotates his hurt shoulder, trying to shake off the pain. They lock up and Cat immediately goes for Conor's arm, but Conor has him scouted and takes the opportunity to switch into a side headlock. Cat shoots Conor into the ropes but Conor slides under Cat's dropkick attempt and hits the opposite ropes; Cat springs back to his feet and into a spear from Conor. The fans rally a little more.

LeRay: Another cover! One! Two! Again Satyros comes in for the save!
Beeman: Conor Caine might be able to steal a three count with a power move like that in a one-on-one match, but Satyros and Cat are too fresh and he's outnumbered!
LeRay: You said it Sean, and you can see the frustration on Caine's face as he and Cat get back to their feet again!

[Chad Shredsbury]

Backstage.

Honest Sal. Ladies and gentlemen, Honest Sal here and I am joined at this time by a somewhat polarizing figure here in the JWA, who made his return here to glory last week after some 9 months away. He is of course one Chad Shredsbury. Chad, there are a few questions here—

Chad. Of course there are, bro. Everybody wants to know where everybody’s favorite surfer has been all these months, and what has Chad been up to and what’s going on with the Shred-man? And why is he rolling up on the big guy Pierre, right, like friend or foe, man? You dig?

Sal. Well. Yes. I guess that’s about all of the questions, though I may have asked them in a considerably more professional manner.

Chad. And Sal, I get it. I can totally relate to the feelings of confusion and uncertainty. So let me close a few things up right now.

Sal. I’m sure we would all greatly appreciate that.

Chad. Of course. I’m here to be the first person to declare myself entered into the 2024 J1 Pinnacle. As a former runner up and the current J1 winner, I’m pretty much the most prolific J1 competitor of all time. So I’m sure all my Shred Heads—.

Sal. You’re what now?

Chad. — have been fully expecting my to make my grand return in time for like, you know, this momentous event. So that’s why I’m here. To satisfy my dudes and babes. It’s what I do. Oh and by the way. Tell Toni I said ‘sup.

Chad exits. Sal is flustered.

Sal. Chad, wait. That— you didn’t answer anything. Where have you been? Why are you harassing Pierre? What did that wink mean? What I’m the world is a Shred Head?! Folks I’m afraid we’ve got more questions now than before. But I guess you heard it her first. Chad Shredsbury will return to the J1 in just a few weeks time.

[Bayou Burl]

The Butterfly Room intro plays on the titantron after a few weeks away. Burl stands in the middle of the room as usual, police tape covering the front door, which looks like it's been very shoddily repaired.

"Hi kids! Welcome back to Burl's Butterfly Room! I'm so sorry that we've not been on the air the past few weeks, we were gonna be back last week but we had to secure the place up after what Slashmaster did!"

Burl gestures behind to the door with the tape on it.

"As you can see, the big guy did a lot of damage to our safe space. But it's ok! We've fixed it all up and I'm sure that the The Fright will hit him back TWICE as hard! And that's the reason we're here today! We don't have much to do this week except for throw out a challenge: Because such an intense, personal rivalry as this one deserves more than a standard singles match. Slashmaster spoke before about burying me six feet under in the very wood of this cabin, and we buried Slashmaster in the deepest depths we could find for so long...So with all this talk of burying it only seems fitting that we should challenge Slashmaster to a Casket match at Guts and Glory!"

The children go 'Ooooo'

"That's right! A casket match! And the way we see it, we're doing him a favour too! His Friday the 13th Streak will never be snapped, he can go down in history as having an unbeaten run that was never broken - but only because after we have our way with him at Guts and Glory, he's never seeing another one!"

Burl laughs as the children cheer

"Exactly! So Slashmaster, we'll see you at Guts Glory and hopefully before, and to all you we'll definately see you again next week! And of course remember my Butterflies. Nobody ever truly dies, so long as we remember them! Goodbye! See you all next week!"

The outro plays as Burl waves goodbye.

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

I am giddy as I walk to ringside. I promised everyone they would never see my face again in JWA, and I will make good on that promise.

I am wearing an all white Phantom of the Opera style mask that covers up my hideousness. In my back pocket of my jorts is the bloody smile from Conor’s face last week. As I walk up, all action in the ring stops. I am so full of joy! Perhaps with my face covered, Dom Inc can come together again.

I ask the referee to leave for a short time so Conor, Omega and I can talk. He realizes bad things will happen if he doesn’t, and I yell after him he can come back in three minutes as he walks up the ramp. I start to tell Conor and Omega that my feelings are hurt— that it was me that helped them get the gold to begin with, and that them fighting made it feel like they didn’t appreciate the sacrifices I made on their behalf. Dom Inc should have been forever.

And in walks Black Cat, sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong like usual. He asks me to leave. I tell him that this is a private conversation. He pushes me. I laugh, and while I do, I slip my hand into my pocket and slip on my brass knucks.

The moment my fist connects with Cat’s jaw is such bliss that I immediately start howling with laughter! As he lies unconscious with blood trickling from an empty tooth socket, I explain to Conor and Omega that we’ll pick up this conversation later. I cackle with glee as I walk back to the locker room.

[Omega Satyros]

Panther Haberdashery rushes back to the ring alongside a series of medical staff, the medica roll Black Cat out of the ring while Conor and Omega stare at each other, dumbfounded by Mack's actions. Silence fills the arena as the crowd lies in as much confusion as the competitors. A familiar voice breaks the silence.

Beeman: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT MACK?!

Panther is on his headset trying to decipher whether to call for a dq win for Divine Hubris or not. Management, seemingly wanting a definitive winner, insists the match go on. Panther passes the message on to Conor and Omega, and Omega is furious. Conor smirks until Omega grabs him and lays him out with Exodus of Helios. 1. 2. Conor kicks out. Omega rolls to the outside, grabbing a steel chair. Panther tries to interject, but Omega shouts at him that if they didn't win by dq from Mack's attack on Black Cat, then this match must be No DQ.

Beeman: I mean, you can't argue with that logic.

LeRay: I, I just can't comprehend the turn this match has taken. Mack effectively neutralized Divine Hubris's numbers advantage and I can't figure out why.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

Omega pushes Haberdashery back and goes to slide into the ring with the chair but he’s met with a baseball slide by Conor, who follows him to the outside.

LeRay: Conor Caine might have felt he had a slim chance of a win in a one-on-two tag situation but if it’s no DQ and Black Cat makes it back to the ring then he’s done for! A fire has been lit under Conor Caine and he’s unloading on Omega like his life depends on it!

Caine ducks a punch from Omega and shoves him back first into the edge of the ring; Satyros bounces back and into an overhead belly-to-belly from Conor that sends him crashing into the barricade. He puts the boots to Omega before lifting him up and whipping him into the ringsteps.

LeRay: Conor goes to keep the offence up but he’s met with a low blow from Omega who goes back for his chair!

Omega comes back but while he was gone, Conor fished a kendo stick from under the ring and - at the last second - hit Omega across the midsection as Satyros was raising up the chair.

LeRay: Both men are winded here at ringside!