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Post by Duke Mongoose on Dec 8, 2023 7:58:22 GMT -5
***JWA BOOBTUBE CHANNEL***
Toni Cruise: Welcome to another edition of the The Blip, where we catch you up on some of the things you might have missed during the week. And what a week it was!
Honest Sal: That's right, Toni. We saw the finals for the 2023 J-1 Pinnacle be set, and it's going to feature two previous runnners-up, that being Red Pirate Rogers from 2021 and Chad Shredsbury from 2022.
Toni: One of those two definitely deserve to hoist the cup this year, but someone who won't be hoisting the cup any time soon is our guest at this time, live "via satellite", it's Duke Mongoose.
(Duke appears on the screen between Sal and Toni)
Duke: Sally Boy! Toni Spumoni! Why am I on this video chat nonsense instead of in the studio?
Sal: The last time you were here you made a scene and stormed out.
Toni: It was very unprofessional and we decided it was better you didn't come all the way down here.
Duke: "All the way down here"? I'm literally down the hall-
Sal: SO! A tough break in the last round of the J-1 cost you the opportunity to go to the finals, although Red Pirate Rogers' victory would have eliminated you anyway.
Duke: I would have been happy for a little while, at least. Instead Big Daddy Duke left bitter and downtrodden.
Toni: In two weeks you'll be defending your World Tag Team Championship alongside Penguino against the Bad Luck Bros. Without the J-1 finals to worry about, don't you think you'll be better prepared for that match?
Sal: Indeed, a "silver lining" of sorts?
Duke: Who cares about the tag team championship match? My boy Penguino and I are going to send Brad Luck and Deaf Seph back to The Compound! What we should be talking about is my World Heavyweight Championship match!
Sal: Uhh...
Toni: I don't remember seeing that on the schedule.
Duke: That's because Arizona Chance is a coward and Kip Whistler is incompetent! I'm the only man to defeat Arizona during the J-1 and as such I am deserving of a World Heavyweight Championship match! Why is no one talking about this?
Toni: That is true, you did defeat Arizona Chance.
Sal: By all rights, you deserve a shot at the title, but the winner of the J-1 gets the title match at Destiny.
Duke: If Arizona Chance is a REAL champion, he'll put the belt up against Big Daddy Duke before Destiny. Besides, after Destiny Chance might not still be champion. Then what happens to Big Daddy Duke's title shot? Huh?
Sal: I'm pretty sure you've got a valid point in there somewhere.
Toni: Unfortunately I'm not sure what Kip Whistler has in mind. All I know is that JWA Destiny will feature the J-1 Pinnacle winner challenging Arizona Chance for the World Heavyweight Title in the main event.
Duke: Not if I put him to sleep first! Call your grandmothers! This interview is over!
(Duke angrily stands up, knocking over the stool he was seated on and smacking his head on the boom mic. As he leaves the room, you can hear in the ambient noise of the studio all of the ruckus of Duke storming out again)
Sal: Fans, we'll be back with more after this quick word from our sponsors!
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Dec 8, 2023 8:29:24 GMT -5
***JWA BOOBTUBE CHANNEL***Toni Cruise: Welcome to another edition of the The Blip, where we catch you up on some of the things you might have missed during the week. And what a week it was! Honest Sal: That's right, Toni. We saw the finals for the 2023 J-1 Pinnacle be set, and it's going to feature two previous runnners-up, that being Red Pirate Rogers from 2021 and Chad Shredsbury from 2022. Toni: One of those two definitely deserve to hoist the cup this year, but someone who won't be hoisting the cup any time soon is our guest at this time, live "via satellite", it's Duke Mongoose. (Duke appears on the screen between Sal and Toni) Duke: Sally Boy! Toni Spumoni! Why am I on this video chat nonsense instead of in the studio? Sal: The last time you were here you made a scene and stormed out. Toni: It was very unprofessional and we decided it was better you didn't come all the way down here. Duke: "All the way down here"? I'm literally down the hall- Sal: SO! A tough break in the last round of the J-1 cost you the opportunity to go to the finals, although Red Pirate Rogers' victory would have eliminated you anyway. Duke: I would have been happy for a little while, at least. Instead Big Daddy Duke left bitter and downtrodden. Toni: In two weeks you'll be defending your World Tag Team Championship alongside Penguino against the Bad Luck Bros. Without the J-1 finals to worry about, don't you think you'll be better prepared for that match? Sal: Indeed, a "silver lining" of sorts? Duke: Who cares about the tag team championship match? My boy Penguino and I are going to send Brad Luck and Deaf Seph back to The Compound! What we should be talking about is my World Heavyweight Championship match! Sal: Uhh... Toni: I don't remember seeing that on the schedule. Duke: That's because Arizona Chance is a coward and Kip Whistler is incompetent! I'm the only man to defeat Arizona during the J-1 and as such I am deserving of a World Heavyweight Championship match! Why is no one talking about this? Toni: That is true, you did defeat Arizona Chance. Sal: By all rights, you deserve a shot at the title, but the winner of the J-1 gets the title match at Destiny. Duke: If Arizona Chance is a REAL champion, he'll put the belt up against Big Daddy Duke before Destiny. Besides, after Destiny Chance might not still be champion. Then what happens to Big Daddy Duke's title shot? Huh? Sal: I'm pretty sure you've got a valid point in there somewhere. Toni: Unfortunately I'm not sure what Kip Whistler has in mind. All I know is that JWA Destiny will feature the J-1 Pinnacle winner challenging Arizona Chance for the World Heavyweight Title in the main event. Duke: Not if I put him to sleep first! Call your grandmothers! This interview is over! (Duke angrily stands up, knocking over the stool he was seated on and smacking his head on the boom mic. As he leaves the room, you can hear in the ambient noise of the studio all of the ruckus of Duke storming out again) Sal: Fans, we'll be back with more after this quick word from our sponsors! Arizona is in his high backed leather chair, with an oak side table next to him and an antique highball glass filled with ice water on it. He waves at Toni and Sal, smiling.TONI: We’re back on The Blip, and joining us for the first time ever on this show is JWA Champion Arizona Chance! ARIZONA: Toni, Sal, it’s been too long, and I’m here to rectify that. That was a heck of a segment there with Duke. SAL: Anything in response to what he had to say? ARIZONA: Well… he’s got a valid point. I know, I know, but listen. Not everything he says is drivel. He beat me fair and square. He’s got a right to claim that he deserves a title shot. TONI: But what about the J-1 winner, whether that be Chad or The Crimson Corsair? ARIZONA: They’ll have earned a shot. But contrary to what Duke thinks, I’m not going to duck him. In fact, after the J-1 winner, there are actually FOUR men who, in my opinion, deserve a shot at me. SAL: I assume Duke is one. Who are the other three? ARIZONA: You’re right— Duke is one. But don’t forget that there’s one guy in JWA who I’ve never beaten— Omega Satyros. And then there’s two former champs who never got a rematch for their title: Conor Caine and… Tommy End. SAL: Well, Caine is injured right now. ARIZONA: And I wish him a speedy recovery. But y’all are sleeping on Tommy. This guy is a world champ, a tag champ, and his reign as world champ was ended unceremoniously by a dirty trick I pulled, and I’ve been waiting for over a year to give him a chance at redemption and me a chance to right the wrong I perpetrated on him. TONI: You make an interesting point about Satyros. You’ve met the rookie twice now— once upon your return and once in the J-1 and— ARIZONA: And I’m 0 for 2 trying to beat him. SAL: What about Bad Luck Bradley? You two had quite— ARIZONA: We don’t talk about Bradley. TONI: Surely after the unique— ARIZONA: No, no, no. We don’t talk about Bradley. SAL: But the spectacle of the— ARIZONA: Listen, how about this— after I face the J-1 winner at Destiny, if I’m still champ, my calendar is wide open.
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Dec 10, 2023 18:14:56 GMT -5
We see Red Pirate Rogers sitting at a table in his captain's quarters aboard his sihp. There are papers strewn around the table as he seems to be checking one piece of information against the other. Vinny Bambino, the Magenta Mate, enters.
Vinny: Scouting Shredsbury, boss? RPR: Partially. Vinny: Partially? RPR: Indeed Vincenzo. I confess myself bothered that the East India Trading Company had a second agent within the JWA, someone who leveraged Thorin's needs to get him into debt with the Company and doing their will, and seemingly used me to further Thorin's desperate quest for allies. Someone who set out to collect not one, but two purses of ill gotten gain. Vinny: Boss... RPR: It's a truly confounding conundrum, Vincenzo, but try as I might to learn more about Bullingham's communications and business dealings on this side of the Atlantic, I seem to be about as successful as an ice salesman in the Yukon. Vinny: Boss... RPR: Do you spy something, Vincenzo? Vinny: Yeah, you've got a J-1 Championship match on Tuesday. Win that and there's a hefty purse for all of us. We could use it, and the title shot too. This bit of business will keep, besides...Chad Shredsbury? who lied to Pierre, and hurt Troglo...he deserves it. (Rogers sighs and looks over the material) RPR: You speak the truth, Vincenzo. Come, let's get a little sparring in before seven bells. When this is done we'll find the loathesome agent...that I promise.
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on Dec 11, 2023 12:48:32 GMT -5
via @jwaapocalypse on Chirpy.
watch glory. i got somethin to say.
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Post by Artemis/Lady Gallus on Dec 11, 2023 23:00:33 GMT -5
@huntressartemis on Chirpy
Daisy, I hope that title is keeping you warm tonight, because after you step in the ring with me at the Pinnacle Finals, you'll be left with nothing. Enjoy your final 24 hours as champ, you'll need the memory of it to keep yourself going.
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Dec 12, 2023 3:46:37 GMT -5
Winter: Now before my masterpiece is unveiled I have a little message for everyone. The actors in this film are not really actually them. Instead I have hired some rando people to play these people playing these characters. Thank you very much, let's get on with the show and don't forget to vote me for a jammy award.
The Wizard of Oz
Cast List: The Wicked Witch of the West: "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex Dorothy: "Daisy Turner" Scarecrow: "Bad Luck Bradley" Tin Man: "Arizona Chance" Lion: "Pierre The Enormous" Toto: "JWA Women's World Championship Belt"
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man & Lion (terribly pitched): We're off to see the Wizard The wonderful Wizard of Oz We hear he is a whiz of a wiz If ever a wiz there was If ever, oh ever a wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because Because, because, because, because, because Because of the wonderful things he does We're off to see the Wizard The wonderful Wizard of Oz
Dorothy: You guys, I can't wait to get back to my home country of Straya. And Scarecrow, you can finally get something in your knob, Tin Man, you're able to be become livin, and Lion, you can finally grow a pair. Oh JWA Women's World Championship. I cannot wait to defeat the Wicked Witch of the West.
Witch: Did someone call me
The Spotlights all flash towards Winter Hex
Witch: Cut! Not to bright or I will demolish one of you!... Action! Well I'm so sorry Dorothy but you won't be going anywhere. Not alive that it. Stage right man, lower me down
She goes down a bit too fast
Witch: Not too fast, not too fast, perfect... *cough cough*
Winter punches "Daisy to the ground" The rest of the cast is shaking worried, Winter kicks "Pierre" in the balls and she collides "Bradley" and "Arizona" heads together before giving them both a DDT.
Witch: I'll get you my pretty, and your little belt too... Close up on me cameraman *witch laugh*
She gets on her broom and flies away
Witch: Not too fast, not too fast AAHH!
Off camera a thud is heard
FIN!
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Post by Daisy Turner on Dec 12, 2023 17:04:59 GMT -5
JWA.Com Exclusive
Toni: I am here with the JWA Women's World Champion, Daisy Turner. Now Daisy you are only a couple hours away before you defend that title against Artemis. What are your thoughts?
Daisy: Well Toni. All I can say at this point is, I'm ready. I've lost this belt to the hands of evil before but not anymore. You see, championships mean more than just a prop to hold or something to brag about. To me, this title has single handedly shaped who I am and the woman you're looking at today. Without this, who am I? Where would I be? And I know that Artemis is no pushover, Sakura knows that first hand and so do many women. Tonight, it's not just about the JWA Women's World Championship. It's much more than that. Someone needs to shut her up and tonight, that'll be me. So Artemis bring all you've got because the Huntress is about to meet the locker room leader of the Women's Division, the woman who has been here day 1 since this divisions birth. So Artemi-
Daisy feels a tap on her shoulder, she turns around and it is Winter Hex
Winter: So sorry to interrupt but
Winter hands Daisy one of her gold stars
Winter: Make sure to nominate "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex for a Jammy award. The star exits stage right
silence, Daisy looks at the star
Daisy: What?
Toni: Uhh, well, Daisy I want to wish you good luck in your match tonight. And go get em.
Daisy: You got that right.
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Dec 14, 2023 19:49:57 GMT -5
JWA.Com Exclusive
Winter Hex Productions
Winter: Just sending a message to all of my adoring fans. We are only two weeks away from the most spectacular event in the calendar year. The Jammy Awards. And that means there is only 2 weeks left for me to make an impact to receive those shiny, oh so shiny awards. I'm going to display my talents. Starting off with my singing voice and my songwriting. I will be making my very own cover and changing a few of the lyrics of the most hip and popular song today... On JWA Glory. Winter Hex Productions will give to you a performance by moi. originally sung by Marilyn Monroe... "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friends"
Here is the song for those who are living under a rock. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvWr2qrMQKc
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Dec 15, 2023 1:08:43 GMT -5
**JWA BOOBTUBE CHANNEL**
Toni: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another episode of THE BLIP, where today we catch you up on everything you might've missed from the J-1 Pinnacle.
Sal: Indeed Toni, and we have a guest on today we haven't seen since the Pinnacle started, Omega Satyros.
Omega walks out, rolling his neck, seemingly more on edge than usual.
Sal: Omega, first things first, how are you feeling after the Pinnacle?
Omega: I'd be lying if I said I weren't disappointed with how things went. I made it pretty clear I was planning on and expecting to be sat here today as Arizona's challenger for Destiny.
Toni: Speaking on challengers for Arizona, last week, he was on the show and said he was interested in granting three people currently cleared to compete a title shot, Duke Mongoose, Tommy End, and yourself. Any reason you haven't jumped on that as fast as expected?
Omega: It wouldn't be the first time I dove into the World Title scene headfirst. However, I've got something to prove before I just accept a handout of a title shot.
Sal: Beeman would probably say that's exactly what you did with your match against Conor Caine.
Omega: And there he'd be wrong, I earned that damn match, and I proved it by hanging in with Conor Caine. At this point Beeman oughta know better than to talk s*** about me when I'm within earshot.
Toni: Yeah, and apparently that's a lesson a few people "needed" to learn.
Omega: If your referring to what happened in the training room with Chase and Kenny, emotions were running high right after I had been knocked out of contention for the Pinnacle Finals. Clearly the lesson wasn't learned given how Rogers' entire crew arguably let him down in the finals. Could've stopped Mack Caliber from rushing the ring and costing their leader the finals match against Chad.
Toni: Speaking of Chad, let's talk about one of the men he beat in his clean sweep of the Pinnacle, why did you call out Tommy End?
Omega: Well, I called him out primarily because I view him as someone I can go against to prove I deserve to be in the World Title picture. But, ultimately, I may end up needing to change plans. I've already spent two straight pay-per views backstage, and at this point, until I get word from Tommy End, I may need to set my sights on a different ex-champion to show exactly how much I deserve to be here.
Sal: Thanks for joining us again Omega. And be sure to check out the next episode of The Blip.
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Post by Kip Whistler on Dec 15, 2023 7:37:01 GMT -5
@bookitkip on Chirpy
A belated congratulations to Chad Shredsbury for his victory in the J-1 Pinnacle Tournament! It's official: at JWA Destiny on January 30/31, Arizona Chance will defend the World Heavyweight Title against Chad Shredsbury! A hearty congratulations and thanks to all the other 11 participants in the tournament as well!
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Chad Shredsbury
Main Eventer
The tide cannot be turning… there’s gold on the horizon
Posts: 295
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Post by Chad Shredsbury on Dec 15, 2023 15:27:34 GMT -5
JWA.com exclusive. Honest Sal stands by with Chad Shredsbury, who wear an unbuttoned Island shirt, board shorts and sunglasses. He holds the J1 trophy proudly in his right hand.
Sal. Folks, joining me at this time is none other than the winner of the 2023 J1 Pinnacle tournament. Chad Shredsbury, how does it feel to have had such a dynamic and successful run in the J1 this year?
Chad. To be honest… Honest Sal… it feels totally tubular.
Sal. So, like… it feels round?
Chad. It feels absolutely awesome, bruh. That’s how it feels.
Sal. Well, we can all surely understand your enthusiasm after a series of fine performances against some of the world’s very best competition in the squared circle. But of course I must ask, do you have any insight into the actions of Mack Caliber in the final match? His appearance in the ring and his betrayal of longtime friend Red Rogers has shocked the JWA to its core.
Chad. I mean, I had no idea that was gonna happen, dude. I was like “Whoa! What? Crazy, man”. You see, I’m not the type to manipulate and plot and go out of my way to hurt anyone. I just tell it is like it is. My guess is Mack just had to air out some beef with Rad Pirate and he decided to do it on like a highly public level.
Sal. So you knew nothing about it and we should believe you because you are a trustworthy person, it that it?
Chad. For sure.
Sal. You… who lied about your name and country to the entire JWA, including fans, friends and trusted tag team partner… for over a year… are not a manipulative man…
Chad. I’m an honest guy, just like you, brosef.
Sal. I see. Of course, with the accolades of this victory comes a great opportunity in one month’s time when you will have the opportunity at Destiny to meet with a man you have never defeated. The man who in fact beat you in last year’s J1 finals. He is, of course, the Franchise, the JWA Champion Arizona Chance. What is your outlook going into that match.
Chad. My outlook? I’d say it’s pretty extremely positive, Sal. No disrespect to Aribrona, but I’m not the same dude I was the last time we met in the ring. I’m at my peak right now, I’m like the crest of a major cowabunga and I’m rolling in fast and there’s just nothing that’s gonna stop me.
Sal. Did you just actually use the word cowabunga in a sentence?
Chad. Totally. I mean, how else would you describe a clean sweep of the most challenging tournament in th business. I haven’t lost a match in months, dude. Not since I shed that half ton of dead weight I had on my shoulder for the last year.
Sal. Are you referring to Pierre the Enormous?
Chad. I’m referring to me being as inevitable as Thanos, bro. The JWA Title is coming to me. It’s drawn to me, Sal. And when I meet Aribrona in the ring, it will not be like the last time. You see, I have never had a one in one match for that belt in my career. Everything that has occurred in the last few months has brought us here. It’s totally zen, man. It’s like… my density. Sorry, dude. I mean. My Destiny. Peace, brah.
Chad swaggers off with his trophy.
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Post by Bad Luck Bradley on Dec 16, 2023 7:42:40 GMT -5
Chad. Rad Pirate... Aribrona... Aribrona... Brad is sitting reading the newspaper. Suddenly he sits up straight, takes off his half-moon glasses and sniffs once... Twice... He replaces them and returns to reading, a chill rising through him.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Dec 16, 2023 8:19:13 GMT -5
JWA.com
Arizona is seated in his high backed leather chair, antique highball glass on an oak end table, but the glass is once again filled with an amber liqueur.
I promised I’d drink to the eventual champion of the J-1, and as a man of my word, I keep my promises. Arizona raises his glass toward the camera, takes a sip, and places it back down. And I appreciate the subtle nod in your entrance— the single spotlight silhouetting you as your theme music starts. It was a nice touch, and I take it as a compliment. You want to be like the champ, so you start to act like the champ, bit by bit. You try to get under their skin, little by little. Call him by your nickname for him, AriBROna. Just the tiniest little disrespects, and then you can stand back and say, “Bro, chill out. I meant no disrespect. Everything’s gnarly, right bro?”
Chad, bro, I learned that game from Jet Set Strutter. Not gonna work on me. I’m the Mastermind. The Franchise. And right now, I’m the man. And to quote JSS, to be the man, WOOOO, you gotta beat the man.
So how about this— let’s enjoy the tag title match this week, enjoy the Jammies next week, and then get down to business. Timing is everything in this business— I don’t want you to blow up like TNT when there’s time for a slow burn.
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Dec 19, 2023 18:14:08 GMT -5
Vía @yourcommand on Chirpy
Plenty to talk about, but I just got confirmation on a mystery I was sleuthing out for some time…I’ll tell you all tonight on #GLORY
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Dec 21, 2023 12:46:16 GMT -5
***JWA.com Exclusive***
(Toni Cruise is standing outside of Duke Mongoose and Penguino's locker room. The muffled sound of loud music and noise can be heard)
Toni: I'm here outside the champs' locker room to try to get some comments regarding tonight's victory.
(Toni knocks and the sound from behind the door immediately stops. An uncomfortable silence falls over the scene before the door opens a crack)
??: Bork?
Toni: I'd like to get a word with either Duke or Penguino about tonight's big win.
??: Bork.
(The door closes. Toni is startled. Then the door re-opens as the music resumes and Duke Mongoose steps out)
Duke: TONI SPUMONI! Here to join the party?
Toni: Umm, no. Was that Papaguino who answered the door?
Duke: Never you mind.
Toni: Alright then. Would you care to comment on your victory tonight?
Duke: Big Daddy Duke and my boy Penguino with another easy trip to the pay window, Toni! Was there ever any doubt?
Toni: Bradley and Seph gave you a hell of a fight. Any possibility of a rematch?
Duke: Absolutely not.
Toni: Sean Beeman seemed to credit you with the victory, despite it being Penguino who picked up the pinfall over Seph Kobane.
Duke: It's a team effort, Toni! There's no "Duke" or "Penguino" in the word "team", now is there?
Toni: I'm not sure you understand how that saying works, but regardless. It's worth noting that with Penguino pinning Seph for the victory, you still have yet to score a victory over Bad Luck Bradley here in JWA.
Duke: That's real nice, Toni. Bring up something to bring me down. I expect as much from Sally Boy, but not from you.
Toni: We've all been wondering - what did Bradley say to you that got you all fired up during the match?
Duke: That's between Bradley and I, and I won't comment on it any further.
Toni: Well then, what's next for the champs?
Duke: Party all night! Sleep all day! We're the forever champs, and forever champs we'll stay! Call your grandmother, Toni! This interview is over!
(Duke opens the door and is blown back by the wall of sound. He struts his way back in before someone looking like Papaguino pulls the door shut)
Toni: There you have it, straight from the Mongoose's mouth. Stay tuned to all of our media outlets for more up to the minute coverage of everything JWA!
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