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Post by Artemis/Lady Gallus on Dec 21, 2023 22:22:44 GMT -5
***JWA.COM EXCLUSIVE***
Toni: Artemis, we haven't heard from you since your loss to Daisy Turner. Any comments.
Artemis: Shut it cruise, do you want to hear me whine or complain that I got screwed out of my title shot because of a distraction? That it slipped like sand through my fingers? That I feel like I'm still at the front of the line, as no other woman in this company has done anything to pass me? Do you want to hear that, or do you just want a cheap internet boost?
Toni: Well I...
Artemis: I said shut it. I'm not here to cater to the whims of a backstage barbie. I'm here to win gold. But management isn't going to listen to that, so in the meanwhile I'll just have to make examples of wannabe contenders who dare cross my path.
Toni: Well, what about Wint...
Artemis: What about shut it do you not understand? Winter Hex has gone all in on the nostalgia, looking back to better times. Maybe it's time for me to embrace something of the past myself.
Artemis walks off, leaving Toni silenced.
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Dec 22, 2023 16:41:55 GMT -5
It's after Glory, Omega's hungry, and he needs to sort some thoughts out.
Jax: Ey, the crew's in for business, I'm assuming the usuals.
Diablo: You'd be right.
Black Cat and Omega head to Omega's usual booth, Troglo starts over but Diablo stops him.
Diablo: Let's stay here at the bar tonight.
Troglo nods and takes a seat beside Diablo. Huggy's sat in a way seemingly to keep an eye on Omega and Black Cat.
Black Cat: Been a while since I've been in Killie's, a touch intimidating coming in here as a lower card guy when so many upper card guys come through here, with their usual cliques.
Omega: Yeah, I guess. Glad you decided to tag along tonight. You've been beaming since we gave Red's old crew an extra taste of their own medicine.
Black Cat: If it wasn't for Thorin, I had half a mind to try and get you to rush out there with me to help Red, either way, it was satisfying seeing Kenny and Chase slink off like that after we gave them what they deserved.
Omega: Believe me, I would've done the same, a little surprised you'd go for that though, figured you'd still hold a grudge for being left out of the crew in the first place.
Black Cat: Are you kidding me? I've never been one for sea-faring. I never held anything against Red, just against those two for ditching me for, and I quote, "A chance to get some real cash"
Omega: I definitely feel better about that incident in the training room finding out how they were plotting. But what's next? Tommy End's persona non grata, Duke's gonna be rushing headfirst into Arizona when he doesn't have to actively keep himself from costing himself and Penguino the tag belts, Mack and Red have their hands full with each other...
Black Cat: I get you're still headstrong focused on that world title, and you're not going to be the one to just walk up to Arizona and ask for a title shot, regardless of the fact you deserve consideration just from the fact Arizona's never gotten one over on you. For now, maybe we help Thorin make sure that East India-Mutiny alliance can't cozy up with Mack, and let Red get his revenge on his own terms.
Omega: Did you really just name Red's old crew Mutiny?
Black Cat: Need an easy way to specify them, considering Bullingham is probably more keen on those guys doing his dirty work than the three guys you took out when Thorin wasn't able to make your match.
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Post by Red Pirate Rogers on Dec 24, 2023 17:59:51 GMT -5
Vía @yourcommand on Digifoto
Caption: In this giving season, it’s my pleasure to give the whole JWA a show to laugh at (filmed during my post-title sojourn)
(A video intro to a major streaming network plays, and we hear the voice of comedian Noel Fielding: “This week on a special celebrity Holiday British Bake Off…” (shot of Rogers in full gimmick plus apron bowing to his oven, followed by clips of other semi-familiar faces sweating, stirring, and sifting powder sugar) “six celebrities offer a festive feast for our judges. With melt-in-your mouth Signatures…(Prue Lieth calls someone’s “heavenly”), a demanding technical (Noel giddily announces “we really won’t leave until we get some”) and a showstopper that has to hit all the right notes” (Paul holds out a handshake). But which one will be more than a star, and be crowned Star Baker?” (Charlotte Crosby of Geordie Shore says “I’d trade the title for Rogers phone number!!!” End of preview)
Rogers includes pictures of his bakes 1) Mexican Chocolate Snowball Biscuits 2) a rather pale looking figgy pudding 3) three gingerbread ships with flavored macaroons decorated with JWA roster faces (detail gets a handshake, and Paul asks to keep the Dyno macaroon)
Spoiler: Rogers is in contention but pianist Isata Kanneh-Mason wins star baker.
Final post Via @yourcommand on chirpy Though I didn’t deliver the honors, I will write the cheque to the JWA Community Fund to spread the joy this season.
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Post by "Lord" Taylor Thorin on Dec 24, 2023 18:33:07 GMT -5
Several JWA personnel have been seen on festive editions of TV shows this yule season, the latest..."Lord" Taylor Thorin who was a participant on the "Weakest Link".
Thorin answered well but a costly missed banking opportunity proved his downfall and he was out with 2 rounds to go when two of his three remaining opponents voted for him to go.
The show was eventually won by actor Maria Barbie, notable for her role in TV soap "Ravens Tower". She defeated sports presenter Tayvion Stock in the final.
Speaking of his appearance on the show, Thorin was disgusted to be voted off when he was, claiming the vote was tactical. He also exchanged several barbed insults with the host throughout the show, much to the delight of his fellow contestants. He did however pledge his winnings up to that point to the JWA Community Fund.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Dec 24, 2023 22:43:40 GMT -5
It's after Glory, Omega's hungry, and he needs to sort some thoughts out.Jax: Ey, the crew's in for business, I'm assuming the usuals. Diablo: You'd be right. Black Cat and Omega head to Omega's usual booth, Troglo starts over but Diablo stops him.Diablo: Let's stay here at the bar tonight. Troglo nods and takes a seat beside Diablo. Huggy's sat in a way seemingly to keep an eye on Omega and Black Cat.Black Cat: Been a while since I've been in Killie's, a touch intimidating coming in here as a lower card guy when so many upper card guys come through here, with their usual cliques. Omega: Yeah, I guess. Glad you decided to tag along tonight. You've been beaming since we gave Red's old crew an extra taste of their own medicine. Black Cat: If it wasn't for Thorin, I had half a mind to try and get you to rush out there with me to help Red, either way, it was satisfying seeing Kenny and Chase slink off like that after we gave them what they deserved. Omega: Believe me, I would've done the same, a little surprised you'd go for that though, figured you'd still hold a grudge for being left out of the crew in the first place. Black Cat: Are you kidding me? I've never been one for sea-faring. I never held anything against Red, just against those two for ditching me for, and I quote, "A chance to get some real cash" Omega: I definitely feel better about that incident in the training room finding out how they were plotting. But what's next? Tommy End's persona non grata, Duke's gonna be rushing headfirst into Arizona when he doesn't have to actively keep himself from costing himself and Penguino the tag belts, Mack and Red have their hands full with each other... Black Cat: I get you're still headstrong focused on that world title, and you're not going to be the one to just walk up to Arizona and ask for a title shot, regardless of the fact you deserve consideration just from the fact Arizona's never gotten one over on you. For now, maybe we help Thorin make sure that East India-Mutiny alliance can't cozy up with Mack, and let Red get his revenge on his own terms. Omega: Did you really just name Red's old crew Mutiny? Black Cat: Need an easy way to specify them, considering Bullingham is probably more keen on those guys doing his dirty work than the three guys you took out when Thorin wasn't able to make your match. Arizona arrives in Killies a bit after the show, having blown a tire on the way to the airport and missing his intended flight, causing him to miss Glory altogether. “Jax— a round for those guys of whatever they’re having, and a Laphroag 12-year for me.” Arizona walks over to the table a few seconds after drinks have been delivered. “Listen… Omega, I know we don’t always see eye to eye on some things, but I know share a lot of values with you— honor, loyalty, and respect. Here’s to you all— Diablo, it’s good to see you again old friend. And you— Black Cat, is it?First, thanks for jumping in to help Red. And second— that’s not the name I know you as.” “Wait, you know me?” Black Cat was somewhat incredulous. “I don’t know you, but I know OF you. You wrestled as Chat Noire over in Benelux Lutte out of Brussels. Hell of a match a couple years ago with Tigre Blanc. You drew big for that market.” What could be seen of Black Cat’s face turned a bit red. “That was in front of like 100 people in an intermediate school gym.” “But that is a huge draw for Benelux. It’s all relative. There’s only a few companies in the world that can sell out arenas, and now you’re working for one. I’d love to see what you can do face to face. How’s about you and me go one on one on Mania after the first of the year?” Black Cat’s face lights up, but before he can speak…
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Post by Artemis/Lady Gallus on Dec 24, 2023 23:53:02 GMT -5
Jack Seipat: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to "Wheel of Riches"! We have a special night for you as some of the JWA's finest are here to compete. We've got Artemis! Black Cat! and Diablo!
The game goes on, Artemis doing well at guessing the letters but always losing out luck-wise as she'd land on lost turn or bankrupt. By the last spin, Black Cat and Diablo are neck and neck, Artemis a good distance behind.
Jack: It's the last spin, and it's a big one, landing on $5,000 per letter, it's Before and After. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Black Cat: T _ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ T _ _ _ _ _ _
Diablo: C _ _ C _ _ T _ _ _ T _ C _ _ _ _
Artemis: S S_ C _ _ T S _ _ T _ C _ _ _ S
Artemis: I'd like to solve: Secret Santa Claus.
Jack: And Artemis makes a wonderful comeback that falls just short of our point leader Black Cat. He's going to Bonus Round.
Artemis barely hid her anger at losing. Black Cat would go on to win $200,000 for the JWA Community Fund, with Diablo getting $24000 and Artemis $24500.
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Post by Daisy Turner on Dec 25, 2023 2:17:56 GMT -5
And that's not all. The 3 OG of the current Women's Division all gave it their all in separate reality game shows. Starting off we have "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex who tried to win the game of survivor. While she was certainly strong, she wasn't so good at communication which lead to this moment
Jeff: 1st person voted out of Survivor... Winter Hex. 6 votes is enough, literally all of your tribe voted you out. Grab your torch it's time for you to go.
Winter grabs her torch and points it towards Jeff
Winter: No! This is not how I go out. I am the star of this show, this show need the starpower that I present. If anything they all should be going home. I should've run this tribe by myself.
Security drag her out of tribal council. One castaway grabs her torch and places it in front of Jeff to which is extinguishes it.
Also trying her best was Sakura Watanabe who went all the way back to Japan to be a contestant on the Japanese Game Show, Beat Up Trivia.
Host: 「ビートアップトリビア」へようこそ!出場者が質問に答えます。一歩間違えば女子高生5人におもちゃのハンマーで殴られる。
Some time later
Host: さくらさん、江戸時代って何年ですか?
Sakura: 1603~1865年
Host: 正しくない。女の子は何をすべきかを知っています。
The High School girls continuously hit her with hammers and their swings were brutal.
Thankfully she walked away with $20,000 for the JWA. Last but no least was the JWA Women's World Champion Daisy Turner who competed on Wipeout. Before competing she talked about how exciting it would be to finally conquer the Big Red Balls here is how she went...
Daisy walks to the edge takes a deep breath in and jumps. She overshot it, her feet slipped her backwards, her head hit the big red ball which bounced her head to the 2nd ball and back and forth until she hit the water.
Despite that epic and totally rewatchable failure she had the last laugh and ended up winning the episode scoring $25,000
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Dec 25, 2023 8:51:02 GMT -5
Black Cat’s face lights up, but before he can speak… Omega rose to his feet, and shook Arizona's hand.Omega: That sounds like an incredible match to sit in on. Omega stepped away for an unknown reason, seemingly leaving Black Cat and Arizona alone to work out the details. Black Cat breathed a sigh of relief.Black Cat: I'll be honest, I was worried for a second that was going to be a Satyr Kick rather than a handshake. But, I'd love to step in the ring with you. Focus shifts outside, with Diablo joining Omega as Black Cat and Arizona figure out the Mania plans.
Diablo: Hey, you okay? Omega: Wh... oh yeah. I'm okay. Diablo: You sure? Omega: Yes, just needed some fresh air. Exciting week coming up. Jammies then Black Cat gets the match of his lifetime. Genuinely, very excited for this week. Omega rose to head back inside, and Diablo shook his head before joining him, assuming there was something else going on in his protege's mind.
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Post by Kip Whistler on Dec 28, 2023 9:38:28 GMT -5
@bookitkip on Chirpy
Congratulations to all of the Jammy Award winners for 2023! As a result of what took place at the awards, I have just signed for the first Glory of 2024 a match between Winter Hex and the returning Mean Queen Jessie Aldean (formerly Miss Jessie)! What a way to kick off a new year in JWA!
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Dec 29, 2023 0:29:09 GMT -5
JWA.Com Exclusive
Winter: The Jammies. It was the worst night of my life. The only thing that came good from this ceremony is my Most Popular award
She shows her award and it's clearly been duck taped and written over
Winter: But besides the point. Everything else was horrible. I got completely abused and assaulted by a crazy woman. Didn't win Worker of the Year. My Most Popular award hit the ground and accidentally bounced back and hit The Black Cat in the balls and now he wants to take legal action. And I got knocked out and dragged by Daisy and Veronica during my rightful speech about why I should've been Worker of the Year. And now as a result not only am I being sued I've now got a match again this crazy woman on the first Glory Episode in the new year. This is completely outrageous. She unprovokenly attacked me and Kip wants to reward her? Well I'll have some practice before then as I, your main star and attraction will be competing on JWA Mania. Thank you, you are welcome, and soon I shall hopefully be back with another Winter Hex Productions.
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Post by Kip Whistler on Dec 29, 2023 9:17:40 GMT -5
@bookitkip on Chirpy
Ask and you shall receive! On the January 9/10 episode of Glory we will have a special 4 vs 4 elimination match pitting Red Pirate Rogers, "Lord" Taylor Thorin, Omega Satyros & Diablo against the former Colorful Crew of Vinny Bambino, Kenny Wynn, Chase Victory & Peter Dombrowski!
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Jan 1, 2024 23:58:48 GMT -5
Winter: Hi Yes, Winter Hex here, I am back to present a very short but sweet mini Winter Hex productions. Enjoy
Winter Hex Productions
-Steamboat Willy intro but just replace Mickey with Winter-
End
Winter: Now wasn't that magnificent? I know right, anyways I have some special news. I will be kicking off the JWA New years against... ugh... Jessie. What was it? Mean Bitch Jessie Sytch or something along the lines of that but who cares. All she is is just some enhancement talent for us women. I don't see her hand getting raised on JWA Glory unlike myself who has had my hand raised alongside the JWA Women's World Championship. Plus I already beat her up in a falls count anywhere match and someone who can't even win in their underwear certainly do not belong here no no no. So I look forward to getting the victory on the first episode of the new year. Then I'll have something over all of these schmucks. For a week straight I'll be the only wrestler here with a victory. hahaha! Thank you all for listening to my message and goodbye.
Steamboat Willy but replaces by Winter plays again as the outro
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Post by The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean on Jan 2, 2024 11:31:45 GMT -5
@jwameanqueen on Chirpy
Cute cartoon Winter. One thing though...why'd you just replace the mouse with a rat?
See you in the ring, but you may not see what's coming for you.
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Post by Kip Whistler on Jan 4, 2024 7:31:12 GMT -5
@bookitkip on Chirpy
As a result of the double disqualification between Winter & Jessie, in two weeks we will have a #1 contender's 3-way battle pitting Winter Hex vs. Jessie Aldean vs. Artemis! Who will advance to Destiny to face Daisy Turner for the title?
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Chad Shredsbury
Main Eventer
The tide cannot be turning… there’s gold on the horizon
Posts: 295
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Post by Chad Shredsbury on Jan 4, 2024 16:09:04 GMT -5
JWA.com Exclusive!
Honest Sal (in his tuxedo) patrols a beach, looking into the sea at a surfer as the tide rolls in. He turns to the camera.
Sal. Ladies and gentlemen I am here at the Beach, looking for a word from J1 winner and number one contender Chad Shredsbury. I was told this was the place to find him, and I do believe I have my sights on him at this time. But he seems to be paying no mind to my camera crew and I… not that it should surprise us for him to be rude, but he does seem perpetually prepared to gloat and talk about how great he is.
Chad Shredsbury now stands behind Sal, carrying a board airbrushed with a picture of himself holding the J1 Pinnacle Trophy, standing on top of crushed caricatures of Pierre, Rogers, Penguino and his other opponents. He taps Sal in the shoulder, startling him. For a moment Sal does double takes back and forth from Chad to the still surfing figure in the distance.
Sal. Well, here you are, the man we have been looking for—
Chad. I heard your whole deal, Sal. And I haven’t got the waves yet today, bro.
Sal. Well some have considered it odd that you have had so little to say these last few weeks, after a career defining high, and certainly the biggest match of your time here in the JWA on the horizon—
Chad. The horizon, man, that’s exactly where I’m heading. Me and this board. To places you people haven’t even dreamt of yet, dude.
Sal. Well, there’s one man standing in the way of that ambition right now and that, of course, is the man you have never defeated—
Chad. Aribrona Chance, I know, I know Sal. Thanks for not pulling any punches. But let me tell you something, brother… I won’t be pulling any punches at Destiny when I get in the ring with Brona. He said it himself. There’s no plan to beat me. I’m like a wrestler carved from stone. A portrait of perfection, amigo. Totally.
Sal. Well, you’ve clearly been listening to his words, and what he’s had to say about you. What are your thoughts on your match with the Franchise as the event draws closer?
Chad. The Franchise man, I keep hearing dudes call him that. And it got me sort of thinking about the word, like “what is a franchise?” It’s a big deal. It’s something that is marketed and profitable. And popular. Gotta draw a crowd, right?
Sal. There’s no doubt that the Champ meets those criteria.
Chad. Absolutely, bro. But the thing about all franchises is that they grow, right, and they change. Because after a while they all get stale. Look at the franchises of the past. Look at like, Skellescream, or the Annihilator. They may have started off really cool but then they overstayed their welcome and they jut stopped being cool. There’s a time and a place for “out with the old”. Dude, even Chance Solar got killed off eventually. I’m just saying.
Chad shrugs and rushes into the water with his board.
Sal. I’m not certain if the challenger was being cryptic or obvious or if he even knows the difference. But there you have it, folks. The word on the beach is that the champion’s days are numbered. I’ll believe it when I see it.
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