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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Jan 18, 2024 12:43:58 GMT -5
The Black Cat is sitting on his lounge watching TV, currently watching some wrestling when he hears a knock on the door. He wasn't expecting anyone, who could it be? Are they after his AOE Hardcore Championship? He was nervous but didn't want to be rude. He slowly opened the door to find...
??? Girl scout cookies!!
The Black Cat gave a sigh of relief knowing he's safe, for now
Cat: Uh, sure would love a box or 2. *he looks at the name tags* Thank you, Bethany and Lilly.
Beth: Thank you sir, know I just need you to put your name right here.
As The Black Cat signs his name down "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex comes up behind him with a referee. She puts on a sleeper hold. Black Cat fights out and they begins fighting, blocked strikes, body kicks then they begin choking each other out. This all happens until they run into a wall knocking each other out. The girls scouts and referee just stand there wondering what is going on. Bethany decides to pin The Black Cat 1, 2, 3! Bethany the girl scout is the NEW AOE Hardcore Champion!
Bethany celebrates with her championship win while Lilly goes to take Black Cat's box.
Beth: Lilly, what are you doing?
Lilly: What? We got his name, we got his money, he's knocked out might as well rob his ass
The girl scouts take his cookie boxes and get out of there with the AOE Hardcore Championship
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Jan 18, 2024 18:48:01 GMT -5
A while later, Omega comes over, having seen the video posed by AOE's BoobTube channel.
Omega: You okay?
Black Cat: Yeah, only thing injured is my pride there, but that can be healed.
Omega: How the hell did Winter find out where you live?
A knock is heard at the door, another girl scout, with her mother, is there waiting, holding a couple of boxes of Tagalongs.
Evelyn: Hey mister, I'm Evelyn, Bethany and Lilly's sister.
Summer: And I'm their mother, Summer Day, Winter's sister. I swear those two take so much after their aunts. Shame Winter refuses to be anything of a half-decent role model for her nieces. Evelyn showed me the video of what happened earlier. I probably should've known better when she offered to take them door-to-door.
Evelyn: These are from Bethany and Lillie's boxes, they're paying out of their allowance.
The pair leave, Black Cat just looking all the more confused after the day's events. Omega and him shrug off the oddity, sitting down and turning on the TV, changing it to BoobTube to check out some of Penguino's and Duke Mongoose's matches with Diablo, when a new video from AOE's BoobTube channel pops up on Black Cat's feed.
Cutie Pie: I've got AOE's newest and youngest Hardcore Champion with me. Tell us a bit more about yourself.
Beth: I'm Bethany Hex, Winter's niece. When that meanie Black Cat knocked himself and Aunt Winter out, I couldn't just sit back and let the moment slip away.
Cutie Pie: Well I don't know which Champion is more shocking to me, the little girl scout, or the guy who lost all 53 matches he had during his stint in AOE.
The camera shifted to show Winter seemingly coaching her niece in this interview, and the interview ending with Winter and her nieces walking off.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Jan 19, 2024 12:06:20 GMT -5
@mongooseisloose on Chirpy
Beaten by GIRL SCOUTS? If that's the quality of opponents my boy and I are facing at Destiny, then we're going to have no problems!
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Jan 19, 2024 20:45:43 GMT -5
@blackcatjwa on Chirpy
If you wanna talk trash @mongooseisloose, then how about you run headfirst into a wall during the tag title match at Destiny and try to kick out at two. If you don't wanna back up your trash talk, then go ahead and close that garbage chute of a mouth.
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Post by The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM on Jan 23, 2024 16:25:13 GMT -5
A JWA.com exclusive video posts just an hour before tonight’s Glory.
An empty box of donuts sits on a couch in a room, where large worn clothes are strewn about the couch around it. The sound of the tv playing a commercial for JWA Destiny next week is heard loudly. Deep, wheezing breaths grow louder and louder as the ad hypes all three JWA Titles will be on the line. The wheezing turns to outright coughing and the cough obscured voice mutters “Destiny! Destiny, eheheheh!! DOOMSTINY!!!” The coughing overtakes all sounds and a cape flutters quickly across the screen.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Jan 25, 2024 12:34:58 GMT -5
***JWA.com Exclusive***
(We are in the trainers room during JWA Glory. Duke Mongoose is sitting on the doctor's table as the physician checks him out)
Doc Simpson: Well, Duke, the good news is that you don't appear to have a concussion. You'll have a nasty bump on your head for a while but that should be the worst of it.
Duke: Glad to hear it, doc! But what about when I called myself "Bag Daddy Dork"? Isn't that concerning?
Doc: I wouldn't worry about that. It's far from the dumbest thing you've ever said.
Duke: Great! So Big Daddy Duke doesn't have a brain injury?
Doc: Nothing new, at least.
Duke: Huzzah! Those Lego Del Taco clowns won't know what hit 'em next week! Where's Johnny & Penguino? We've got some partying to do!
Doc: You might want to-
(Duke springs from the table and marches out of the trainer's room)
Duke: CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER, DOC!
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Post by Artemis/Lady Gallus on Jan 26, 2024 23:50:52 GMT -5
@ryanregretful on Chirpy
Planning a video reviewing some of the best Hardcore Champions the business has seen. Let me know your thoughts as I compile this list.
@huntressartemis on Chirpy
@ryanregretful look no further for recent Hardcore greatness. Looking at some of the competition, Black Cat lost to a girl scout, and Winter Hex had her current reign interrupted by a literal cookie. Worshipers of The Goddess can confirm that as I dismantle my competition on this week's episode of Mania.
And with the Battle Royale coming up, whoever wins at Destiny ought to grow eyes in the back of their head, because after I win it, they become my target, and I never fail a hunt.
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Post by Daisy Turner on Jan 27, 2024 0:01:54 GMT -5
@daisyjwa replies to @huntressartemis
unless your at the J-1 Pinnacle finals. To which I say, I'm pretty sure you failed that hunt. But hey, good luck at the battle royal. In the meantime I'll go prepare for my match against another woman who ruined your hunt.
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Post by Thumper Moore III on Jan 27, 2024 16:51:23 GMT -5
JWA.com Exclusive
Arizona is seated in his high backed leather chair, next to an oak end table with an antique highball glass filled with water. On the wall behind him are clippings from various wrestling magazines: “Satyros Defeats Chance”, a giant picture of Arizona’s face covered in pudding, and a recent addition, an article proclaiming Chad Shredsbury “The Next World Champion”.
We stand at the precipice of Destiny, but we also stand on the precipice of history. The Franchise takes on the Walnut Creek Waverider. The Mastermind against the San Diego Surfer. The three-time champion takes on the man who has never beaten him.
Back when he was Chesterton, I defeated him in the J-1 Finals. This past week, in tag team action, The Adventurers came out on top. And frankly, you can call yourself Chesterton, Chad, Charles, Chaz or Chuckles, but you will not be able to call yourself Champion. Not while I hold the gold.
While it’s true Chad looks like a winner and talks like a winner, in truth, he’s middling in big matches. He lost the J-1 finals before he won. He lost his first shot at the tag titles. He’s lost every first big match he’s been involved in. And this is the first time he’s faced The Franchise for the world title.
We’ll see how this headline holds up. Future world champ? Sure. But I am the present. Chad, good luck winning the title in 2027.
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Post by Daisy Turner on Jan 29, 2024 0:05:12 GMT -5
Digifoto Video message from Daisy
Daisy: Hey it's Daisy Turner here, you beloved JWA Women's World Champion and I've got some things to say to a very special although not so bright individual Artemis. You know I would take your message seriously and what you said on Chirpy seriously if you could get your facts right. A) It's true, you failed your hunt against me and B) I saw what you said on Mania and I just had to make this video to get some things straight. When you said *Artemis accent* "Let's not forget who's the one who ran her little Joshi sidekick Sakura out of JWA entirely." When you failed to recognized that oh, lookie here. Who is that woman next to me
Daisy turns the camera to show Sakura Watanabe back from her Japan Tour
Sakura: 私があなたに勝てなかったから日本ツアーをしたと本気で思っているのですか?まあ、ニュース速報、あなたは間違っています。別の理由でツアーに参加しました。私がそれを持っていた理由は、あなたに出会う前からでした。まだ何もあげてないよ。しかし真実はすぐに明らかになります。そしてアルテミスと知り合います。 次に起こる出来事の原因は、あなたでは決してありませんし、これからもありません。
Daisy turns the camera back to herself
Daisy: And *sarcastically* Wow! You found yourself a group of potential male strippers to surround you. Good job, you go girl. But if you think they'll play a role in getting the belt off me. Think again. I'm used to being outnumbered. I've had backup against more times than I can count. It's honestly getting very tiring and boring. But asides the point moving forward to my match at Destiny. Jessie, I wish you good luck, I cannot wait to see you in the ring and hopefully on your own. *She shuts her camera off*
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Post by "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex on Jan 29, 2024 0:20:40 GMT -5
Winter Hex Productions
Winter: We are just mere days away from JWA Destiny. And I go look on the card to find out I'm not booked? What is this travesty? Have Mr. Kipling Whistler lost his mind? Fortunately I am not the only woman unbooked as I have to share my non spotlight with that Huntress Girl, what was her name? Amy? Aphrodite? Well it doesn't matter because soon it'll be just her unbooked as I am determined to show up on your technicolored screens. If she is listening. Miss Antoinette Cruise, I would love to be interviewed by you. You get some screen time on a PPV instead of talking about the card, I get some screen time and plus you also get to interview a champion with such grace and intelligence like moi. Now onto further business there is a couple of people I have my eyes on and a certain prize. If Amy feels like she's incline to join this battle royale I feel like I'm inclined to do the same. I will be formally invited to participate in such an event. Prepare Amy! For your buttock will be kicked over the top rope! But before I create an early celebration party I've got some research to do on some specific people. So I'll sit up, ass out and read from history books.
Fin~
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Chad Shredsbury
Main Eventer
The tide cannot be turning… there’s gold on the horizon
Posts: 295
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Post by Chad Shredsbury on Jan 29, 2024 9:17:00 GMT -5
JWA.com exclusive. Chad Shredsbury sits on an Adirondack chair, beach and sea in the background. Hawaiian shirt, naturally unbuttoned. He stares at the camera. He slides his sunglasses up from his eyes to the top of his head and leans forward.
Chad. You know, bros. I’ve heard some people chirping… on chirpy… and other places. Taking about Chad Shredsbury being humbled, and Chad can’t win the big one. Or my favorite. Chad can’t beat Aribrona Chance. Yeah, I’ve heard the noise, bruh. And I hear you too, Brona, leading that charge. No worries, dude. Because I’ll be honest with you, man, this scenario has put a little doubt in my mind. And I’m not one for lacking confidence, as you know. And after getting dropped by the Adventurers last week, sure, man, it hurt. It hurt my body and it hurt my pride. But the thing that I realized this past weekend, dude, while I was on my board clearing my head. I got the zen clarity I needed. Because it occurred to me that you, Champ, can’t stop talking about it. You can’t get out of your own way. Yeah, you’ve beaten me. And you’ve beaten everyone and been here forever. But I talk your best shot. Everything you had last week. And everything your homey Rad had too. And I’m still the J1 winner. And I’m still coming for you tomorrow night. And you can sink or you can swim. But I’m surfing off into the horizon with your title. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. Hang loose, amigo. Won’t be long now.
Chad sits back and flips his sunglasses down.
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Post by Duke Mongoose on Jan 30, 2024 12:21:03 GMT -5
@mongooseisloose on Chirpy
Tonight it is me and my boy's DESTINY to continue our reign as forever champs! See what I did there? As for Lego Del Taco, you should be ashamed of yourselves! Trying to get me to injure myself before the match? You'll pay dearly for that once the bell rings!
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Post by "The Closer" Omega Satyros on Jan 30, 2024 13:00:47 GMT -5
@blackcatjwa on Chirpy
I can't help but suspect @mongooseisloose would be very susceptible to hypnosis. He's already clearly open to any suggestion given. By the way Duke, you might want to look up the definition of rhetorical before something like this happens again.
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Post by Daisy Turner on Jan 31, 2024 19:38:36 GMT -5
BUZZ-FED.COM EXCLUSIVELong Live the Joshi By Oliver Johnson
At JWA Destiny 2024. Sakura Watanabe officially announced her retirement from professional wrestling. After a grueling prison cell match Sakura held the mic all bloodied up and gave a heart warming speech. As usual for most Japanese wrestlers they would go on 1 last tour which was later confirmed that Sakura's previous Japan tour was included in her retirement tour. It has been announced that she will have her final match at SUNDOM in one of their traditions where she will run the gauntlet in a series on 1v5 matches weather she wins them or not. Her opponents have been announced.
In the first match she'll be taking on the Ai sisters (Akio Ai & Akia Ai), Ena Ida, Hibiki Matsumara and Emiri Matsuura. The second round will feature the Cool Chicks (Seijin Soda, Tsubada Kawata & Taney Soda), Mokoko Manami and SUNDOM Juniors Champion Kana Azuma. The third round will include the faction Yōkina Hito-Tachi which includes Ayame Furutani, Yubi Kawashima, Kotone Goya, Madoka Goya and Ashley Johnston. Her final round will include SUNDOM's biggest stars: SUNDOM World Champion Akane Yamashita, former tag team partner and SUNDOM Ace Kyoko Hamamatsu, Usagi Mochizuki, Chiharu Furuta and Himari Tanaka.
After this match Daisy Turner who just lost the JWA Women's World Championship has a special retirement party planned for the next episode of Glory. She has sent out invitations to everybody she knows (including JWA Staff) to attend the party in the middle of the ring.
As for Kazuko Jin, she was fired from JWA for her actions that could've resulted in a serious injury or worse. She has decided to take Akushitsu and head back to Japan where she will remain in SUNDOM. So as of now there are no more Joshi left in JWA
other top stories Reign of Terror is over! - We have a new JWA Women's World Champion (written by Artemis) Rough night for the Good Guys - What a funny coincidence Hollywood feud? - Was "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex hinting at an intergender feud? Long Champions - Duke and Penguino are the longest reigning current champs
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