Arizona’s BigSky Country Wrestling (ABCW Fed)

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1991 Monday Night Live

The show opened with a prerecorded message from Undermaster, flanked by Exotic Rick and the Gladiators. “Now that the lightning bug named HFK has been squashed, Darkness will reign supreme. With this ABCW World Title securely around my waist, it’s will only be a matter of time before all of the belts, and all of the light, will belong to us. The Gladiators will own the tag belts, Rick will possess the TV Title, and then we will obtain our ultimate goal, which will be revealed later. Rest assured, ABCW will ROT. IN. HADES!”

1. Vegas with Ezekiel defeated Skelescreem. After the match, Average Guy and O’Hooligan came to ringside. Average Guy has a mic in hand. “Smooth Criminahs! How long you gonna punish us? How long you need to beat on us before we paid our dues?” O’Hooligan agreed. “Well, ya know, if the week we were away was so devastating to ya, maybe we can make it up to ya. Ya know, take you out to dinner, buy you some jewelry, the fake stuff mind you, but still pretty—“. The Smooth Criminals booked it into the audience before responding.

Backstage, Lazer, HFK, and The Hunk were all in Codger and Fantasy’s office. “Listen, Undermaster sent his goons after me last night and it lost me the title,” began HFK. “And now his goons are coming after my belts,” continued Lazer. “And The Hunk says this: their candy behinds better not get involved in my upcoming title match!” Codger replied, “I have a very simple solution: you three face Rick and the Gladiators in a six man tag. If you win, they’re barred from ringside for HFK’s title rematch and Hunk’s upcoming title match, and their next shot at the TV title. But if they win, Rick gets his shot at the Tav title, the Gladiators get a tag title chance, and they’re allowed at ringside. Gentlemen, your fate is in your own hands.”

2. Freedom Fighter came to the ring and was waving his flag. He said that even though Nuke had come out victorious, he was still proud to be an American and he feels he represents America far better than Nuke. A booming voice cane from the back. “If you represent America, prepare to fight. America stole my people’s lands, and I am here to reclaim them. I am Chief Buffalo, and I fight for true Americans— Native Americans! The rest of you are illegal immigrants!” Chief emerged from behind the curtain and danced to the ring wearing a headdress. He jumped Freedom Fighter before the bell, and in a spirited contest, Chief managed to put away Freedom Fighter with the Buffalo Charge.

3. Kannibal Keith returned to action and managed to defeat Fireball. Gothica was not at ringside with him, nor did police escort him. He also released Fireball of his own volition after the bell.

4. Chaka Crass defeated Mynx with the Catwalk.

5. In the six man tag, Hunk, HFK and Lazer defeated Rick and the Gladiators.

6. In a match set up hastily to determine the number one contender for the TV Title, Dragonfly defeated Valkyrie and Big Bad Doctor. BBD took another nasty shot to the head off the ring post, and the word immediately after the match was that he needed to take some time off to recover from multiple concussions.

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1991 Sports Entertainment

Backstage, Ryan Regret is in the GM office with both Mr. Codger and Mr. Fantasy when Valkyrie enters. Fantasy began, “Valkyrie, have a seat. We need to talk.” She sits down. “What seems to be the problem— and why is Nuke’s weasel here?”

“I’m here to give you... THIS.” Regret slammed an envelope on the desk. “My client, Mr. Warhawk, has suffered immense pain and was injured due to your callous actions during the March Madness tournament. This is a restraining order. Given the fact that you attacked his most vulnerable parts— repeatedly— this judges order states that you will remain 100 feet from Mr. Warhawk at all times.”

“Wait, what injury did he receive?” interrupted Codger.

“Bilateral bruised gonads,” answered Regret. “He’ll be out another week.”

“100 feet? I don’t want to be within 100 miles of that scumbag,” said Valkyrie. “Is that all, because I have a match tonight against—“

“No, Val, you don’t,” said Codger. “He’s not done.”

Regret continued. “ALSO, since it seems that you can’t keep your hands and feet away from male genitalia, the judge has ordered that to prevent any similar incidents, that you will not be allowed to compete against men any longer.” Val stood up and grabbed Regret by the collar of his jacket. “Val, if you attack me, I’ll have you thrown in jail for assault. I’m just a messenger here. Besides—“ Regret grabbed his spray bottle and spritzed Valkyrie in the eyes, and used the opportunity to escape while Codger and Fantasy tended to Val.

1. Dragonfly cut a promo from ABCW Phoenix. “Dudes! It’s awesome to be here! So much great stuff here... and I’m so pumped to be the number one contender for the TV Title! Yeah! Lazer’s a good dude and all, but he has something I want— the TV Title. And something else I want— the Dragonstar Sushi from ABCW Phoenix! It’s half price tonight since I’m here. Come meet the future ABCW TV Champ! See you dudes downtown!”

2. The returning Ace of Spades decimated Chicano and nailed the Ace Crusher for the victory. After Ace left, Chicano grabbed a mic. “When I first came here, I was the bad guy. I still am the bad guy, but lately, I’ve been... the loser guy. I’m leaving ABCW for a while. I’m headed back to Miami— I got soft hanging on to old successes. I need to head back home to toughen up. When I come back, I will be the bad guy again. You can count on that, Chico.”

3. On the Jumbotron, HFK and The Hunk were having a cordial conversation in the locker room, with HFK telling Hunk that after Hunk beats Undermaster, he looked forward to their title match. Behind them, Average Guy was emerging from the shower and accidentally got in the camera shot. He moved out of the shot, but not before giving one of the most hilarious “I done goofed” facial expressions ever caught on film. The fans immediately started chanting for Average Guy.

4. The Piranha defeated Beastheart in an absolutely meaningless, “why was this even on the card” match.

5. In a segment Dan Mixer called “contrived, but still fun,” Mynx and Leo came to the ring and started to cut a short promo about their love for each other. Valkyrie came to the ring to interrupt, stating that Mynx wasn’t a real wrestler, and that since she couldn’t fight men anymore, she might as well start toughening up the women’s division. Mynx started flexing in the ring, and screamed back that she was plenty tough enough. A huge, hulk of a man emerged behind Valkyrie, and she seemed surprised to see him. He had a mic. “Val, I know you know me, but these fans don’t. I’m VTC, Valkyrie’s training partner. Maybe we could show off your body to the crowd and let them choose who’s in better shape.” So, a posedown began between Mynx and Valkyrie, and then between VTC and Leo. With no clear winner, the four agreed to settle things in the ring next week.

6. The returning Dude Brohan teamed with Lazer to successfully defend their tag titles against the debuting Grunge Brothers, billed as tag champs from Seattle.

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1991 Weekend Attitude

Mr. Fantasy started the show on the mic from ABCW Phoenix with Mr. Codger standing next to him. “For the first time ever in ABCW history, we are holding an entire live show from ABCW Phoenix!” The camera panned the audience, and several prominent wrestlers were either seated at a table or standing along a wall, including HFK standing near Big Rig, Average Guy with Dragonfly, and Lazer sitting at a table with Dude Brohan. “All of our appetizers are 50% off tonight, and anyone who comes by will be virtually guaranteed to have an interaction with one or more of our stars, including the tag champs, and the TV Title will be defended tonight! We could see our first ever title change to happen outside of an arena! Let’s get started with the action!”

1. Emerging from the kitchen, which apparently functioned as a staging area for this night only, were VTC and Valkyrie. Mr. Fantasy jumped on the mic. “Let’s up the stakes for this mixed tag, shall we? The winning team will receive title shots at next week’s Champ Clash for the TV Title and for the Women’s Title!” An energized and focused Mighty Leo and Mynx joined VTC and Val in the ring. After a very good match, Mynx nailed Valkyrie with a chop block, and VTC was distracted caring for her and got caught with a Thunderstrike for the win.

2. Ezekiel cut a short promo against “interlopers” from outside companies getting title shots and challenged Eddy Grunge to a match. Grunge managed to get the victory with the Evenflow after O’Hooligan ran in and nailed Vegas at ringside, causing the distraction. After the match, O’Hooligan jumped into the ring with a dinner plate and smashed it over Ezekiel’s head, busting him open. Average Guy grabbed a mic from his seat in the restaurant, and screamed, “O’Hooligan! That ain’t how we do thangs! We watch each other’s backs, but we don’t descend to their level!” O’Hooligan flipped off Average Guy as he left the ringside area. Ezekiel was carried out on a stretcher.

3. A clip was shown from the Len Jayo show where his guests were The Hunk and Undermaster. The highlight was when Hunk mocked Undermaster, crossing his eyes and putting on a horrible gravelly voice as he said “You will Rot. In. Hadeeeeeeeeeeeze!” Undermaster briefly broke character laughing at Hunk, but quickly regained his composure and grabbed Hunk by the neck and choke slammed him through the coffee table on set.

4. “The following match will determine the opponent’s for the tag titles at Champ Clash next week,” stated the ring announcer. The Cool Kids came out victorious over the Power Heroes. Dude and Lazer came to ringside to have the mandatory stare down with their opponents.

5. Average Guy cut an impassioned promo about how O’Hooligan’s actions did not represent him or Dragonfly. He remained at ringside for his friend Dragonfly’s match.

6. Dragonfly and Lazer squared off for the TV Title. The match started with a handshake, and the two tore the roof off ABCW Phoenix. The two combatants brawled into the restaurant, and various foods were used as weapons, including a burrito to the face of Lazer. The Cool Kids came down to ringside and attacked Brohan. Average Guy assisted Brohan, and Dragonfly and Lazer hit synchronous top rope body presses to HFK and Big Rig. Dragonfly ended the match when he brought two dining tables into the ring, stacked them on top of each other, and hit a Super Dragonstar Splash to gain the pinfall and the title.

[Thumper Moore III]

Wrestling Viewer April 25, 1991

PHOENIX— After hearing reports of unauthorized people in the kitchen causing possible food contamination, The Viewer has learned that health inspectors were sent to ABCW Phoenix and temporarily shut down the restaurant. It opened the next day, but the blow to the reputation of the establishment has now been struck. Honestly, when I was watching Attitude this past weekend, I wondered how they managed to have the wrestlers enter from the kitchen and still provide food service. I guess we have our answer.

The real problem with this is the concept itself. Like hamburgers and peanut butter, wrestling and restaurants are both great, just not together. I don’t want my tacos with a side of oiled up muscle men. They could make it work if they just made it a theme restaurant, but holding live events in a facility that was obviously never built for that purpose is a recipe for disaster.

It will be hard to justify hiring additional wrestling talent at this point, as the restaurant was just beginning to turn a profit and will likely go back into the red after this latest setback. It looks like ABCW will be forced to make a decision going forward— are they a wrestling company or a brand? If it’s the former, they need to divest themselves of the restaurant and concentrate on what they know. If the latter, they need to start building the brand beyond Phoenix and the Southwest region. Either way, continuing to be a house divided will lead to their failure.

[Thumper Moore III]

April 1991 Champ Clash

Mr. Fantasy and Mr. Codger open up the show with copies of the Wrestling Viewer in front of them in their office. “You know, Mixer has a point,” opined Codger. “It was foolish to try to do an entire show from the restaurant. A promo segment here and there, sure. But a whole show?”

“Now, I understand this concept is ahead of its time, and probably too forward thinking firca man of your advanced... wisdom to understand. But this is about building the ABCW brand. That way we can honor our past while building toward our future. I want ABCW to be around then, now, and forever.”

1. The action opened with the TV Title match between new champ Dragonfly and #1 contender Mighty Leo, who was accompanied by his tag partner Michael T Wolf as Mynx was competing later. Late in the match, the champ hit the Dragonstar Splash, but the ref was pulled out of the ring by Vegas, who had just run in. As the ref was about to ring for the DQ, Vegas knocked him cold. The distraction led to Leo recovering and landing the Thunderstrike just as a second ref hit the ring to count a pinfall, resulting in our second TV Title change in as many weeks. Leo stood tall with Wolf and blew a kiss backstage, presumably to Mynx.

2. Vegas quickly grabbed a microphone and screamed, “You interlopers and turncoats might hurt my partner, but I’ll still carry on his work.” He dropped the mic and ran backstage.

3. Lazer and Brohan came to ringside with their tag titles, and were soon joined by the Cool Kids, HFK and Big Rig. Despite outside interference from the Gladiators, Lazer and Brohan were able to retain via the Big Bro Leg Drop onto Big Rig.

4. Average Guy came out to cut a promo. He began with, “O’Hooligan! Where were you? You were supposed to be with Dragonfly to keep out the Smooth Criminahs! I don’t know what you’ve been doin’—“ Suddenly, Chief Buffalo attacked from behind. He hit the Buffalo Charge and Average Guy went down like a bag of dirt. The Chief grabbed the mic. “This is the Average American. This is the type of man who invaded my country, who took our land, and our way of life. This Average American deserves to be trampled by buffalo!”

5. Despite a valiant effort, Dirk Dungeon comes up short in his Cruiserweight Title effort against Masakari.

6. Arizona Chance came out to the entrance ramp immediately after the match and spoke to both men. “My plan was to come out here and immediately challenge the winner of this match. After all, nobody hunts for gold—“ He pauses, and the crowd finished his line for him— “like Arizona Chance.” “That’s right,” Chance continued. “But before I make that challenge, I want to congratulate both men on their efforts.” He applauded from the ramp, and the audience gave both men an ovation. “Now then, Masakari. Next month we will be traveling to the Puro Dome. Your home turf. I’d love a shot at that belt when we hop the pond. What do you say?” Masakari stared up the ramp, looked at his title, and nodded his approval.

7. We cut to the back, and Mynx was lying underneath a heap of steel chairs and a broken table. Medical personnel helped her out of the wreckage. Leo and Wolf showed up and were looking concerned, as did Ryan Regret, who offered the name of his lawyer to “sue the pants off Valkyrie for ruining Mynx’s title shot.” Amazingly, Mynx was able to regain her feet, and insisted that she head to the ring for her match against Princess Starbright for the Ladies Title. The match was over quickly, as Starbright hit a Rainbow Connection for the pinfall, but refused to celebrate as she quickly checked on Mynx.

8. In a three way match to determine the next number one contender for the World Title, Ace of Spades managed to defeat Exotic Rick and O’Hooligan. The Gladiators again attempted to interfere, this time on Rick’s behalf, but they received a Barroom Brawl and an Ace Crusher for their efforts. Rick then hit an Exotic Awakening on Ace, and O’Hooligan nailed a Barroom Brawl on Rick. However, as O’Hooligan went for the pin, Vegas interfered for the second time and pulled out O’Hooligan and nailed the Heartbreaker. This allowed Ace to recover and hit the Ace Crusher on Rick.

9. With the Darkness still recovering from their earlier actions, Undermaster came to the ring alone. The Hunk came out with bandaged ribs from being attacked on the talk show. Undermaster went straight to work on the ribs, and Hunk sold like only he can. But Hunk hit a Hunka Dunk unexpectedly and grabbed the pinfall for his first World Title.

As Hunk celebrated, Ace made his way to the ring. The two engaged in an epic stare down to close the show.

[Thumper Moore III]

May 1991 Monday Night Live

The crowd was raucous for the night after Champ Clash episode of Monday Night Live, which had moved for the first time to the sold out Grand Plaza in Sin City. Mr. Fantasy and Mr. Codger were announced and both came out to the entrance ramp and waved, but only Fantasy spoke. “Welcome to Monday Night Live! Without further ado, here’s the first ABCW match ever in the great state of Nevada! And first up, a man I know you are all familiar with!”

1. Eddy Grunge headed to the ring and received a huge pop, as he was well known in Vegas as it was the southern tip of the Pacific Northwest circuit. He squared off with Vegas, who came to the ring shouting about getting revenge for Ezekiel’s injury. Vegas managed to secure the victory to the crowd’s dismay with the Heartbreaker. Curt Grunge jumped into the ring to prevent any post-match shenanigans.

2. O’Hooligan came to the ring demanding a match against Ace of Spades to become number one contender since Vegas interfered in their match. Ace came out and immediately accepted. O’Hooligan fought valiantly, but was overwhelmed by Ace and succumbed to the Ace Crusher fairly quickly. Vegas ran to the ring after the match and hit a Heartbreaker on O’Hooligan onto the concrete floor, turned to the camera, and said “That’s for you, Zeke!” Dragonfly and Average Guy came out late and checked on O’Hooligan.

Backstage, Nuclear Warhawk was deep in conversation with Ryan Regret. “She was totally into me. She took off her—“ The conversation was interrupted by VTC. “Hey, Listen you two. I know Val can’t get within a hundred feet of you, so she sent me to deliver a message.” VTC decked Nuke with a vicious right hand. “She also said that she’s hired a lawyer of her own, and she’s going to see you in the ring soon enough.” VTC then walked out past a stunned Regret and a KO’ed Nuke.

3. VTC destroyed Iron Mask and looked like a complete monster in the process. He ended things with a Double Underhook Facebuster, which the fans had only seen Valkyrie use until that point.

4. The Hunk addressed the crowd with the world title belt across his shoulder, ribs still taped. “FINALLY, The Hunk HAS RETURNED to Sin City! See, at Champ Clash, The Hunk climbed the mountain and took his rightful prize. For those who doubted, The Hunk says this: Neener neener neener! For those who believed, The Hunk says you hitched your wagon to the right horse. IF YOU SMELLLL, what the Hunk is smellin’!”

5. Chaka Crass scored a big, clean victory over Mynx, climbing the women’s rankings.

6. Mr. Fantasy announced that the winner of the main event three way dance would have a TV Title shot in the future. The participants would be Lazer, Exotic Rick... and Dude Brohan. Lazer and Brohan entered together and shook hands, while Rick entered with the Gladiators. The match turned into a 3v2 very quickly as there are no DQ’s under these rules. Rick managed to pick up the win when he knocked Brohan out of the ring and the Gladiators assisted with an Exotic Awakening on Lazer.

[Thumper Moore III]

May 1991 Sports Entertainment

Moving further into the Seattle territory, ABCW held an this month’s Sports Entertainment in the ballroom of the Grand Plaza Hotel in Portland, again selling out. In the most convoluted introduction of a match, Mr. Fantasy announced that six individuals representing teams would participate in an elimination tag match. Each of the survivors would be placed in a match at the upcoming P4V and the winner of that match would receive a tag title match at a future time.

1. The face team consisted of Red Pirate Rogers of the Adventurers, Freedom Fighter who would team with Teeny Norman, and 2-Zap of Def Row. The heels were Massacre of the Gladiators, Copper Commander Of Conquer and Command, and the returning Big Bad Doctor, who would be naming a partner should he win. The sole survivor was... 2-Zap. He and Notorious BB celebrated a huge victory.

2. Teeny Norman came out a house of fire and defeated Skelescreem cleanly via the Magical Bicycle Kick.

3. VTC has an interview with Honest Al backstage. Before BTC could answer his first question, he was the recipient of an unexpected spritz to the eye from Ryan Regret and a sneak attack from Nuclear Warhawk. “Tell Valkyrie about her message back. And since you’ll be laid up for a week or two, I bet she needs some company. Give her my number. I’ll lift the restraining order for her to head to my hotel room.”

4. The Cool Kids demolish the Mullets. HFK doesn’t even tag in, and Big Rig puns both Mullets at once. HFK says after the match that they were robbed out of their tag title shots by the Gladiators’ interference, but that they would each be pursuing singles gold along with tag gold.

5. O’Hooligan’s Pub has exactly two patrons at the bar: Average Guy and Dragonfly. O’Hooligan came from the back with his head down, and said, “Alright, what can I get for—“ As he looked up and saw who was sitting at his bar, he stepped back and said, “We don’t serve your kind here. No fatties and no stoners.” Dragonfly started to get up to leave, but Average Guy stopped him, and spoke. “O’Hooligan! We needs to talk. We agreed that when we came back, we would stick togetha through thick and thin. You done cost Dragonfly his title, and you done cost yourself a world title chance because you ain’t stickin’ with the plan. Now whaddya have to say for yourself?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” replies the Irishman. “Maybe it was you that got us into this mess, and that it was you who suggested we leave, and you that said we should stick together when we came back, and you who said to just take the pie in the face, and look where it got us.”

“It got us success, bro.” Dragonfly finally figured out what was going on. “We’ve all had chances at titles since we’ve been back, and yeah our pay was cut, but it’s still better than being down to our last dime bag... I mean dime, wrestling for someone who can’t pay us.”

O’Hooligan was fuming. “Oh yeah, sure, your plan was flawless. I’ve listened to you for four months now, and I’m making less money, still have no gold around my waist, and the Smooth Jackasses keep screwing us every chance they get. I’m done with you guys... and your flawless plans. In fact, I have a flawless plan of my own.” With that, O’Hooligan slammed Average Guy’s face on the bar, and at the same time, a man who fans of the Seattle territory knew as the Flawless One took out Dragonfly. The Portland crown popped huge for Flawless One, who had dropped their world title the previous week unexpectedly at a house show.

6. The main event was the World Title match between Hunk and Ace of Spades. In another stellar addition to their heated rivalry, for the fourth time in 1991, the World Title changed hands, as Ace countered a Hunka Dunk into an Ace Crusher to gain his first ever World Title. Ace celebrated by chugging an entire twelve pack of Aceweisers while George Thorogood’s “I Drink Alone” blared in the background.

[Thumper Moore III]

May 1991 Weekend Attitude

Mr. Codger addressed the crowd to open the show. “So, here we are in Tacoma, Washington, and here I am.” The sellout crowd went nuts. “You know, us being up here in the Seattle area just makes sense. We’re heading over to Japan next week for my first ever trip to Tokyo, and frankly, the flights were cheaper here than from Phoenix. Anyway, this is a historic night for us, just like next week will be. Next week will be historic as the first ever international ABCW event. This week is historical because we have reached an agreement with Mr. Greenhorn to purchase Pacific Northwest Wrestling!”

The crowd went nuts as visions of crossover dream matches danced in their heads. Ace of Spades vs Flawless One. Grunge Bros v Cool Kids. Undermaster v BuZZsaW. After what seemed like about 45 seconds of chaos, Codger spoke again. “The best part is, Dan Mixer didn’t find out about it before you guys did! So, enjoy the show, the new talent, and the new future of ABCW— The Best in the West!”

1. In a tuneup for her Ladies Title match, Chaka Crass handily defeated Femme Fatale.

2. Teeny Norman establishes his first ever win streak with a victory over Cesar Sleeze, who came to the ring complaining about his lack of usage only to get overwhelmed by arguably the puniest guy on the roster.

3. The Flawless One made his in-ring ABCW debut successfully tagging with O’Hooligan to defeat the Grunge Brothers. O’Hooligan landed a Barroom Brawl for the win on Eddy. Average Guy came to the ramp with a mic in hand. “O’Hooligan! How’s about the Average Guy sees just how flawless your buddy is when we go to the Land of the Rising Sun? I’ll get Dragonfly and another partner, and you two grab a partner, and we’ll settle this in a trios match like samurai— in Japan!” O’Hooligan and Flawless One nodded approval from the ring.

4. 2-Zap and Notorious BB were backstage when Dude Brohan and Lazer walked past. A simple nod from the champs to the challengers reminded folks of their upcoming tag match.

5. Lazer made his way to the ring for his TV title rematch, which would be against someone he never lost the belt to. (The TV Title picture got crazy.) In a hard fought match, Mighty Leo retained the TV Title. Lazer was thrown into the ropes just as Mynx jumped onto the apron. Lazer pulled up short of hitting Mynx, and turned around into a Thunderstrike for the pinfall.

6. The show closed with The Hunk about to cut a promo from the ring, when he was interrupted by Ace’s music. Ace started to speak, and he was interrupted by HFK and Big Rig. HFK grabbed a mic, but before he could speak, the lights went out. When they came back up, Undermaster had appeared in the ring with Exotic Rick and the Gladiators.

The announcers reminded everyone that none of the previous three champs had received a rematch for their title, and that each had a legitimate claim to headline the Puro Dome event. Mr. Fantasy quickly announced that the title would be defended at Puro Dome against Hunk, and that both HFK and Undermaster would get their rematches. The next rematch would be against the winner of HFK and Undermaster, which would co-headline Puro Dome. Tensions eased, and everyone managed to leave the ring without violence erupting.

[Thumper Moore III]

May 1991 Monster Mayhem

Live from the sold out Puro Dome, Monster Mayhem began with an impassioned Mr. Fantasy and an overwhelmed Mr. Codger in the ring. “KONNICHIWA!” screamed Fantasy, as he quickly exhausted his Japanese language repertoire. “Welcome to the first ever ABCW Puro Dome event! We’ve brought the best we have to offer this evening, and we hope you enjoy talent from all over the world. Mr. Codger, anything to add?”

“Yes, I would like to add something. Koko ni kitekurete arigatō. Watashi wa nipponseifu to kokumin ni totemo kangei sa rete iru koto ni kansha shimasu. Watashi wa sushi ga sukide, Tōkyō wa subarashīdesu.“ Fantasy’s jaw dropped as Codger spoke to the crowd in their own language, and the crowd went berserk. “I memorized that on the way over,” explained Codger. “You can’t get a cheap pop for mentioning the hometown of you don’t speak the language.”

1. Chaka Crass came up just short in her effort to unseat Princess Starbright as the Ladies champion. After the hard fought match ended with the Rqinbow Connection, former Pacific Northwest Ladies Champ Queen Of Mean sprinted to ringside with a steel chair and blasted both ladies. While they were both knocked out, Queen motioned to the back, and charging out to a huge pop cane local heroine Gorgon Takoro. The Queen positioned the chair around Starbright’s ankle, and Gorgon hit the chair with a top rope splash, causing Starbright to writhe in pain. They then repeated the process on Chaka Crass. Starbright and Crass has to be carried out, while Queen and Takoro left to a chorus of boos.

2. Queen of Mean grabbed Honest Al as soon as she got backstage. “INTERVIEW ME!!” she screamed at Al. Al quickly regained his composure and asked, “What prompted that attack? And who the heck are you?”

“For those who have had their head under a rock for the past decade, I’m the Queen of Mean. I’ve held the Ladies Title in Seattle for a decade, and no one— NO ONE— could take it from me. Then Fantasy and Codger come in and buy the place— that’s the only way to get the belt from me is to steal it! I’m going to take what’s rightfully mine, and I will destroy everyone in my path to make it happen. RRRRAAAAGH!!!” The Queen stormed off leaving Al with a dumbfounded look on his face.

3. The six man tag was next. Flawless One and O’Hooligan were announced first and they brought out their mystery partner... Dragonfly’s old nemesis, Suicide. Dragonfly started to charge to the ring when he was announced, but Average Guy held him back. The two walked to the ring and stood outside awaiting their mystery partner... O’Hooligan’s old nemesis, Haka Tonga, who has been wrestling in Japan for the past few years. In a chaotic brawl that never really got organized, the match came down to Average Guy and Flawless One, and a missed Average Elbow led to a Flawless-plex for a victory for the heels.

4. In a TV Title match, Mighty Leo defended his title against Nuclear Warhawk with Ryan Regret. Nuke came down to the ring with mic in hand and spoke about the US military being vastly superior to the Japanese in WWII, and how you shouldn’t bring a katana to a gun battle. This elicited the loudest boos of the evening. VTC appeared with a tape measure, just before the match, and measured from the ring to the entrance ramp. He stopped just short of the ramp, and yelled “You can come to here.” Valkyrie then came out and stopped just short of the end of the tape with a mic in hand, smiling. “I’m just going to stand right here, 101 feet away from the ring, and watch. You don’t mind if I watch, do you?”

Nuke and Regret went crazy, and VTC came down and sat at ringside. Late in the match, Nuke pinned Leo against the ropes and Regret reached for his spritzer, but VTC jumped up and clobbered Regret. He then carried Regret to Valkyrie, who nailed him with a Double Underhook Facebuster. Nuke was obviously distracted, and when he stopped pleading with Val to stop, he turned around into a Thunderstrike for the pinfall.

5. In a tremendous match that never technically happened in game because it wouldn’t let me book a Cruiserweight Title match even though I had planned to, Masakari defeated a very game Arizona Chance. After the match, both shook hands and bowed together to the crowd, who gave a standing ovation.

6. Def Row rapped their way to the ring, debuting a new single. This was the highlight of their evening, as Dude and Lazer made short work of them, not allowing 2-Zap or BB to land any offense.

7. In another tremendous match, Undermaster managed to defeat HFK after a distraction from exotic Rick. Undermaster grabbed a mic after the match, and said, Rick, you have been my most trustworthy associate, and your place in the Darkness should not be questioned. From this point forward you will no longer be known as Exotic Rick. You will be the Exotic Acolyte.”

8. Ace of Spades retained his title after the match of the night against The Hunk. No shenanigans, just two guys who hate each other going hard for 30 minutes.

After the match, Fantasy and Codger came out again and invited all the evening’s participants to take a bow. They did so... and then O’Hooligan said something to Haka Tonga, and Dragonfly held back Tonga but Suicide got in his face. Average Guystood between them, and out of nowhere Chief Buffalo, who was not even on the card, nailed Average Guy with a Buffalo Charge that also bumped about six other guys when their combined 700 pounds crashed through a mob. All of a sudden, everyone was fighting everyone, and the fallout of injuries and possible suspensions would not be known until everyone made it back stateside.

[Thumper Moore III]

Wrestling Viewer May 31, 1991

SEATTLE— Yes, Mr. Codger pulled a fast one on the Viewer, as he loudly proclaimed a week and a half ago. But it also seems that Mr. Greenhorn may have pulled a fast one on Mr. Fantasy, the engineer of the deal.

Fantasy unfortunately has not gotten any better legal advice about his takeovers of wrestling companies, leaving out a very important component to his deal— the PNW name. So, he effectively bought the contracts of most of PNW’s wrestlers (but not all— more on that later), but not the brand. Effectively, there’s nothing stopping Greenhorn from hiring talent and restarting PNW, negotiating new TV deals, and holding live events and TV tapings just as he did previously.

Several talents also did not come along with the deal. North American Champ BuZZsaW is currently not under contract, nor is Cabb, Samson, or Mother Russia, among other prominent names. They were prominently involved in storylines, but were working per diem, meaning they had freedom to work for other companies or to leave at any time— a risky proposition to be sure, but it seems to have worked out for Greenhorn, as it drove up the purchase price of PNW without costing him money long term.

It will be interesting to see whether or not this concept catcahes on in regional or national feds. Kudos to Greenhorn for pulling it off successfully. But will ABCW, RnR, or WW, who currently exhibit extreme control over their wrestlers, get on board with something that gives control of their schedules back to the wrestlers?

[Thumper Moore III]

June 1991 Monday Night Live

1. The show opened with highlights from a recent episode of Familiar Feud, hosted by Ricky Lawson. In a special show between two wrestling federations, team ABCW (Undermaster, Valkyrie, Gothica, and Ace of Spades) faced opposition from team RnR, which consisted of Jet Set Strutter, Sumo San, Troglo, and Madam Tiki. Ricky asked the first question to Gothica and Sumo San. “We asked 100 wrestling fans, name a type of beer.”

Sumo San buzzed in first. “Kirin Ichiban.” “Survey says— X,” said Lawson. Gothica replies, “Ooh, something dark. Guinness.” The board lit up that 6 people had said that, so ABCW took control.

Undermaster was next up. “Blood.” Lawson replied, “Big fella, I don’t think you understood the question. It’s name a popular kind of beer.” “Blood,” repeated Undermaster. X. Next was Valkyrie. “The only beer I drink is Michelob Ultra. 2 grams of carbs.” Another X.

“Ace, your answer must appear on the board or you lose control.” “Well, there’s only one kind of beer that matters to wrestling fans, and that’s Aceweiser.” “Survey says— the number one answer! Back to you Gothica.”

“Umm... I’m not sure... blood? Is blood a beer?” “Good answer,” opined Undermaster. He shot her a look, and there seemed to be a connection between the two. “That’s still not a beer,” stated Lawson. “Over to RnR for the steal.”

RnR were huddled. Troglo kept simply repeating “Beer good! BEER GOOD!” Finally JSS emerged from the huddle. “Ricky, this plane flyin, cadillac ridin’ sonofagun has the best answer. And that’s High Life, the Champagne of Beers. Wooooo!”

Lawson stated, “Survey says— X. ABCW wins!” Ace high fives Valkyrie and Undermaster and Gothica high fived, but Undermaster caught her hand and held it for an uncomfortably long time for anyone watching, but Gothica didn’t seem to mind.

2. Teeny Norman continued his hot streak with a second straight win over Skelescreem with the Magic Bicycle Kick.

3. O’Hooligan came to the ring bragging about his victory at Monster Mayhem. He challenged anyone in the back to a match, and Average Guy answeeed the call and got a measure of revenge, nailing the Average Elbow for the win. After the match, Chief Buffalo came out of nowhere and attempted to hit Average Guy with the Buffalo Charge, but Average Guy dodges and he hit O’Hooligan instead. O’Hooligan’s knee buckled and he had to be stretchered off.

4. Nuclear Warhawk addressed the crowd with Ryan Regret at his side wearing a neck brace. “Now, I’m not an attorney, but my friend Ryan here knows one who wrote us up this nice restraining order here. Now, neither Valkyrie nor VTC are allowed within 100 feet of either of us. After what happened to poor Ryan at Monster Mayhem, this is perfectly understandable. Look at the guy! Tonight, I’m going to have to make my girl and his happy! Hey-ooo!! But seriously, the menace that is Valkyrie must be prevented from stopping other men from doing what they love. And I love kicking men’s butts and slapping women’s, so send my opponent on down!”

Notorious BB waddled to ringside with 2-Zap. Without their insurance policy at ringside, BB fell quickly to Nuke Em.

5. Spunky Sparks scored an upset victory over Queen of Mean in a match familiar to fans of PNW, but new to ABCW. Sparks nailed the Dynamite Blast for the victory. After the match, the Queen quickly grabbed Sparks and threw her over the top rope to the floor, and rammed her into the barricade a few times.

6. In the main event to determine the next challenger for Mighty Leo’s TV Title, Exotic Rick managed to outlast Lazer and VTC. The surprise return of Dark Mauler and his subsequent interference on Lazer led to the victory.

[Thumper Moore III]

And just like that, it’s over. If you read my post on the main forums, you’ll see that all my data is lost. It’s my own stupid fault for not realizing what would happen, but the data didn’t transfer to the new device, and it’s now gone from the old one as well.

As the Brits would say, I’m gutted. Over the past couple of years I’ve experienced a fair amount of personal loss, from which I’m still recovering. Writing this fed has been cathartic for me, and I’m incredibly thankful for a place to share a piece of myself where I’ve been readily accepted.

This fed is simply the latest thing in my life that is taken away to be reshaped and later improved (hopefully). My plan is to go through 20 years as quickly as possible and to purchase as many of the same folks as possible, and if I can get it close enough to what I had, I’ll pick up where I left off. Obviously this will take a while, so while the fed will be on hiatus, rest assured I won’t.

I need to go chase after some gold tokens... and nobody chases gold like Arizona Chance. Wish me luck.

[Magnifico jr.]

It's a shame this is over* it was probably the best of the big 3 (this, cotguy,and fantasy fed)

[branana06]

Feb 17, 2019 14:12:40 GMT -5 Magnifico jr. said:

It's a shame this is over* it was probably the best of the big 3 (this, cotguy,and fantasy fed)

100% agree. I wish I had half the creative talent you do. It's a shame it had to end this way but hopefully it'll be back soon.

[hungarianhammer]

I may be speaking for myself but, I’d be highly interested in reading about your quest to reacquire your roster.