JWA Glory Episode 174 - First Blood Match - Duke vs. Omega

[Kip Whistler]

Greetings, grapple fans!

Tonight is the fallout from JWA Destiny, and our main event tonight should be a doozy! After successfully defending the World Tag Team Championships at Destiny, Duke Mongoose found himself under attack from an infuriated Omega Satyros. Duke put out the challenge for a one on one match, and Satyros responded with the stipulation that tonight's bout be a First Blood Match! That means the first competitor to bleed loses. This is literally a blood feud! Duke defeated Satyros back in the J-1 Pinnacle under standard match rules, but will Satyros make sure that Duke has "time to bleed" here tonight? We're only a few short moments away from finding out!

(The polls will be open for at least 24 hours. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just that you participate!)

Arizona Chance managed to hold onto the JWA World Heavyweight Championship after a double pin in his match with Chad Shredsbury. Certainly not the way anyone wanted or expected that match to end, and you have to imagine that this won't be the last we see these two going to battle over the gold. The champion is scheduled to appear tonight, as is his wave riding challenger from last week.

Mack Caliber has returned to the JWA ring and he picked up a statement victory last week at Destiny by defeating his former partner Red Pirate Rogers. Mack has made it known that he has something important to say tonight regarding his future. As for Rogers, where does this leave him?

"The Mean Queen" has also returned to JWA, as Jessie Aldean defeated Daisy Turner to win the JWA Women's World Championship at Destiny. We expect to hear from the new champion and her manager, Chief Buffalo, during the broadcast. We also know that Daisy will be holding a retirement ceremony here tonight for Sakura Watanabe, who gave a hell of a fight during the Prison Cell match at Destiny but came up short. We look forward to that a bit later on.

Staying in the women's division, Artemis and her Hunters will be something the new champion will need to keep an eye on. And you can never be too sure what the devious Winter Hex has up her sleeve. We expect to see them during tonight's broadcast as well.

With Duke Mongoose embroiled in a blood feud, what does this mean for his tag team champion partner Penguino? Penguino has stated in the past that he's content just defending the tag team titles and focusing solely on that, but is he, really?

The Greatest Wrestler OF DOOM has returned, seemingly. Lord only knows what that is going to entail.

News broke recently that our former World Champion "Relentless" Conor Caine's surgery was a success and his return to the ring is going to happen sooner than later. We all wish him a speedy recovery!

Things have been quiet lately from "Lord" Taylor Thorin and Bad Luck Bradley. I'm not trying to insinuate that they're up to anything, but their silence is a bit concerning considering that it's difficult to shut either of them up!

Let's not waste any more time. Get out there and work your gimmick!

[Duke Mongoose]

("Fatal Charm" by Billy Idol plays and the fans begin to boo as Duke Mongoose makes his way through the curtain and toward the ring)

LeRay: Much like at Destiny, Duke's big mouth has gotten him into trouble yet again, and this time he may have to pay in blood!

Beeman: The only person who going to bleed is that mythological goat man. Wait, do satyrs have blood?

LeRay: ...do Satyrs... have blood? What the hell kind of question is that?

Beeman: Well it would certainly be an unfair advantage for Satyros if he didn't have blood, now wouldn't it?

LeRay: I'm sure he has blood, Beeman. I see Duke has gotten decked out for the occasion in stark contrast to his usual garish attire.

(Duke is dressed in a sleeveless white t-shirt with blue jeans with white knee pads and cowboy boots. He has a pink bandana around his neck because of course he does)

Beeman: Duke knows that this isn't a wrestling match, this is a fight, and he's ready to lay the leather to the horned goat!

[“heartBROKEN” Mack Caliber]

My music hits and I bust through the curtain. I have a microphone in hand as I play up the crowd jeering me.

Cut my music. Y’all don’t deserve to hear it.
I’ve got something to say, and one guy is gonna fear it.
I proved myself last week. That much is assured.
I beat my former partner, proved my injuries are cured.

And now the sky is the limit. Potential to be fulfilled.
I’ve got ambition for perdition, I’ll prove I’m as good as billed.
I’ve seen the greatest heights here, and the lowest of the lows.
But as my wins will tally up, my legend continues to grow.

So bring em on, the whole roster. I’ll mow em all down.
As sure as Winter’s hot as hell, I’ll make ‘em all look like clowns.
So bring Bradley, Omega, bring Duke and bring Thorin.
Bring Rogers, Penguino, bring Chance who is borin’.

I’m headed for the title. The others are pit stops.
Y’all gotta get with me, or else you’re two bit cops.
So JWA, get used to this mug.
Try to get in my way, you’ll get squashed like a bug.

I drop the microphone and head to the back. It’ll be curious to see who takes offense first.

[Omega Satyros]

"Satyr" By Andromeda began playing, and Omega is all business as he makes his way to the ring. He's wearing a black hoodie, taped knuckles, his usual faux-fur tights, and a blood red mask.

Beeman: What kind of look is this for a street fight?

LeRay: I'd guess about as close to what he'd usually be wearing for a 'street' fight back before he was a victim of a time skip.

Beeman: And how is that mask fair?

LeRay: Fair ain't part of the game when it come's to No Disqualification matches.

Omega grabs a chair from under the ring before entering it. He's glaring daggers at Duke.

Beeman: Well, no matter. He's going to be running red before long regarless.

The bell rings, and Omega tosses the chair right at Beeman's head.

[Artemis]

Artemis and Oberon vs. Wally Saratoga and Kristy Tristan

LeRay: We get to see Artemis and one of her Hunters in action against the tandem of Wally Saratoga and Kristy Tristan.

Beeman: Going to be quicker work than Artemis made of Lyndi Harker a few weeks ago.

Artemis starts the match, and Oberon immediately drops from the apron and goes over, plucking Wally Saratoga off of the apron and planting him on the ground with a power bomb. Kristy looked baffled before Artemis turned her around, planting her with Wrath of the Hunt.

Beeman: Exactly as I predicted. These two didn't stand a chance against our resident Goddess and her Hunter.

LeRay: Well, when they completely circumvent any standard of tag wrestling, what's supposed to be done?

Beeman: Better than that, if they wanted a chance to win.

Artemis locks Kristy into the Bow and Arrow, and Kristy quickly taps. Artemis lets go, with her remaining Hunters entering the ring. A small corner of the crowd erupts in cheers. The rest drown them out with boos. Artemis grabs a mic. 

Artemis: And that's how that's done. Anyone who dares step in the ring with me will face this same fate. You dare stand against the Goddess of JWA, you will be forced to fall. With my Hunters at my side, no one in JWA can hope to take me down.

Beeman: And that's the Goddess's message to the mere mortals, the peons of the JWA audience.

[Bad Luck Bradley]

Before the match, we are treated to a vignette.

Bad Luck Bradley, yeah, the Bad Luck Wrestler, bursts into a small cabin. It is filthy, hazy, the floor a mess of clothes, magazines, cups and plates. Posters for grunge bands adorn the wall - Nirvana, Meat Puppets, Pearl Jam. On a filthy futon, a Walkman in his hands, head bouncing and hand air-strumming, is Seph Kobane. Brad tosses a letter at him.

Brad: You're leaving the Bad Luck Bros?

Seph removes his headphones and shrugs.

Brad: Don't give me that! Sephy-Wephy, what's the dealio here?

Seph twiddles his thumbs.

Brad: You know where this leaves me? I'm partnerless! Tagless! I ain't got no one in my corner! I couldn't believe the letter you sent. I had to get Grandma to read it for me!

From outside the shack, a quivering voice intones:

Grandma: I have dyslexia.
Brad: You don't have dyslexia, Grandma, you just read slow.

Brad sits on the edge of the futon. Seph pulls his knees to his chest.

Brad: We could have talked about this. We could have found a way to make you happy. You know you were the only Bad Luck Bro for me.

Smash cut to some time in the past. Arizona is on his phone, an old rotary one with a corded earpiece that he holds to one side of his face, pulling the mouthpiece close.

Arizona: Brad, we mustn't. Veronica is home.

Smash cut to Conor Caine lying up on his sofa, bandages on, rehabbing. He has a controller in his hands, his phone wedged between shoulder and face.

Caine: Bad Luck Bros? How about Bad Luck No! Ha! You just got Caine'd!

Smash cut to a winter wonderland. A train of huskies grind to a stop. Brad steps off, tennis rackets attached to his feet, a wooly parka about his head. In the distance, a neon wonderland glows in the blizzard. The sign says, "Penguintopia." Brad waits a moment.

Brad: I shall not go to Penguintopia. It is a scary place.

The huskies get spooked and run off, leaving Brad to chase, shouting, "Mush! Mush!"

Smash cut back to Seph's cabin. A moment passes, and then a second. Brad stands.

Brad: I might get another Bad Luck Bro, but you'll never be replaced. See you around, Space Cowboy.

Brad leaves. Seph lifts his headphones again, but does not put them on. He waits, deep in thought, as the screen fades.

["The Reminiscer" Winter Hex]

Toni: My guest tonight is "The Reminiscer" Winter Hex.

Winter walks in always keeping an eye on the camera

Toni: So Winter, you requested time for this interview. May I ask why?

Winter: Well Toni my darling, I just needed the screen time. I mean you heard Mack right? I'm hot as hell. So now I just need to show the people that he's correct about everything. I'm hot as well and I'm the star of the show

Toni: I just wanted to ask you about this relationship between you and Mack Caliber. What exactly is going on?

Winter: Oh darling. It's all professional and business. We have many things in common in this industry. We have the same goals, same talents and abilities I mean I can rap too.

Winter pulls out a cap and puts it on her head, she then turns it slightly diagonal.

Winter: "Word" *with the hand signs* see. I'm the 2nd best rapper in the world.

She takes the cap off and quickly throws it off camera

Winter: But most importantly, we dislike Arizona Chance. We both want that title removed off him, that fake wannabe actor deserve nothing in this company and he sure as hell doesn't deserve that JWA World Championship. Everyone knows that Chad would've slapped his tits off if there was no 10 count and took this company out of misery.

Toni: All this talk about Arizona Chance. Are you seriously thinking of challenging him for the title?

Winter: Well not right now. If I were to decide who to give it to first it'd be Mack for starters. But in terms of intergender wrestling. I wouldn't be fully against it. I do see that the men do get the PPV main events and I as of yet haven't been in the main event of a PPV. So I wouldn't be against it. I'd finally get something over Dastardly Daisy

Toni: Well she was in the Battle Royal m-

Winter: Shush Toni, must you ruin everything. This interview is done

Winter shoves Toni who falls with her microphone on top of her. A referee walks in and notices then 1, 2, 3! JWA Microphone is the NEW AOE Hardcore Champion!

[Duke Mongoose]

Beeman: WHAT THE (censored) ARE YOU DOING?!?!

LeRay: Beeman! Are you alright?

Beeman: Yeah, I'm alright. That was uncalled for! I know we've got history, but his fight isn't with me tonight!

LeRay: Indeed, his fight is with Duke Mongoose, and that fight is underway! Fists are flying! Both men hoping to open up their opponent and make it a quick night.

Beeman: Listen, the goat man may not have any blood, but I certainly do! Look! The chair clipped my ear! Get me a medic!

LeRay: Calm down, you big baby. Your situation illustrates a good point, though, because a minor injury like yours would be enough to end this one. It's first blood, however it occurs.

(Both men exchange a flurry of punches, but Omega starts to block Duke's. Satyros catches Dukes fists and lays a knee into the midsection)

Beeman: That knee was low, referee!

LeRay: It wouldn't matter if it was, this is a no disqualification match. Now Satyros grabs Duke by what's left of his hair and is dragging Duke's forehead and eyes across the top rope!

[Omega Satyros]

(OOC: clearly I was tired typing that up, the chair was supposed to be thrown at Mongoose)

As it happened, the camera followed back from the announce table, showing the real target was Duke Mongoose, who ducked out of the way just in time. Now, Omega had dragged Beeman's face on the ropes over to the corner.

Omega: You Want Arizona?! You have to get through me! And that isn't happening!

LeRay: The drive to win is clear from Omega. and Arizona's World Title is looming large over this match as Omega seems to barrow the Crystal Skull Crusher as he pounds Duke's face into the turnbuckle.

Beeman: Shut it. Damnit Duke, get back in this match!

Duke falls to the mat after 15 bashes into the turnbuckle. Omega climbs to the top rope and looks to deliver the Satyr Sault, but Duke manages to roll out of harms way, leaving Omega to smack right into the ring canvas.

Beeman: That's it Duke, now make that goat bleed whatever freaky mythology blood he bleeds.

LeRay: We, we've seen Omega bleed before. Just look back at the brutal affair that was Omega's first match with Arizona chance.

Beeman: I said shut it Mick. All I care about right now is seeing that satyr shed blood.

[Duke Mongoose]

LeRay: Duke takes advantage of the stunned Satyros and attacks with a series of Mongolian Chops!

Beeman: I guarantee Omega will bleed if Duke chops his head off!

LeRay: Duke follows up with the Running Neckbreaker Drop! Then goes for a... cover?

Beeman: Old habits die hard.

LeRay: Referee Jack LeBiggun is explaining to him that pinfalls don't count, which leaves an opening for Satyros to clatter Duke's jaw with a massive single leg dropkick!

Beeman: Don't open your mouth, Duke! Keep any blood inside!

[Omega Satyros]

For once, Duke's mouth stays shut, either from pain or from swallowing whatever blood did get knocked loose. Omega tosses him through the ropes before rolling out of the ring and dragging him to the ring post.

Beeman: It's No DQ, someone stop that madman!

LeRay: I think you're the only one who'd have the chance, no doubt the rest of Legado Del Infierno is waiting in the back to prevent any interference.

Omega slams Duke's head into the ring post. 1, 2, 3 times before Duke drops to the floor. Omega walks over his body to grab the chair that had errantly flown into Beeman.

Beeman: You better not take another step closer to me Goat Face.

The camera shifts to behind Omega's back as he flips Beeman off, outside the home audiences vision. Omega returns to Duke, repeatedly striking the 'FRVR Champ's' back with the steel seat.

LeRay: Omega has one goal here tonight, and it's to see red.

Beeman : He'll be seeing plenty of red when it's running down his face!

[Duke Mongoose]

(As Omega wails away on Duke with the steel chair, Duke can be seen trying to pull something from his boot)

LeRay: Satyros is not holding back at all as he continues to wear out Mongoose with the steel chair.

Beeman: I can't bear to watch!

LeRay: OH MY! Duke just cleaned Omega's clock with a big right hand between the eyes! Duke's got a chain wrapped around his fist!

Beeman: The old Tennessee Chain! Straight outta Memphis, baby!

LeRay: Mongoose takes advantage and is reigning down right hands to the face of Omega, who is doing his best to cover up. You can see the mask is starting to tear away a bit. Could this spell the end for Satyros?

Beeman: It doesn't look like anyone is coming to save him, so yes! Yes it does!

[The Mean Queen Jessie Aldean]

[before the main event]

Honest Sal introduces his guest, the new women's champion, Jessie Aldean, who is greeted by a booing crowd.

Jessie: Oh, shut up! you wouldn't know talent if it bit you down in your nethers, assuming it could find those little shrinky dinks! (more boos) You morons don't know a good thing when you see one, and I am the best thing there has ever been in this organization. I've got the looks, the moves, the guts, and now (she gestures with the belt), I got the glory! (more boos)

Buffalo takes the mic

Buffalo: glory glory hallelujah, jessie hits 'em like a ruler, a queen, a mean queen that's the cream of all she's seen. Shrinky dinks, tiddly-wink, skidoo! Little boy blue and the man in the moon river and me and never been anyone so fine as sweet summer wine and let it ride!!

Sal asks what Jessie has planned...

Jessie: Well, like my buffy just said, we're gonna let this ride. We put in the work, so it's time to appreciate what's mine and live the high life! I don't know who I'll have to face next, but I'm not worried, I just ask that Kip Whistler make sure that it's someone who earns their chance...I'm not coming back for some lukewarm rematch, or waste of time squash...I expect that, as the brightest and bestest star in the JWA, I get treated that way. (Jessie and buffalo walk off)

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

In his office, Yuppie VP has the First Blood Match on a monitor behind him but the audio is muted as he talks on the phone.

YUPPIE: ...Kizuato-san, boobie, we're all excited for Conor to come back but let's talk turkey: he won't see the inside of a JWA ring until he's been medically cleared, by his own physicians as well as ours. So if they're telling him to take it easy, he might want to take it easy, huh?

...

That's what I like to hear. Love ya, babe. Chaio!

Yuppie hangs up the call to Kizuato and turns to watch the match on the monitor. After a moment he lifts the phone again and makes a call.

YUPPIE: How much gauze do we got down at ringside for the medical team? ...uh-huh? ...uh-huh...  better double it.

[Omega Satyros]

Luckily for Omega, the chain is tearing as fabric before flesh. That won't last long if he can't turn the tide.

LeRay: Oh no! I think I say about half of the JWA audience is grimacing along with me and Beeman after that. Duke Mongoose is doubled over in agony from that strike.

Beeman: That leg oughta be classified as a lethal weapon! 

LeRay: It's Duke own fault for not ensuring he was protected there during his hellacious chain assault to Omega's head.

Omega drags Duke to his feet and rolls him onto the announce table. Duke's groans of pain can be heard in Beeman's mic as steps up, pulling Beeman in position for the Devil's Kiss, driving Duke face-first through the table. LeBiggun has gloves on as he checks Duke, and confirms no blood.

LeRay: How is Duke not bleeding after that?!

Beeman: Big Daddy Duke is built different, and that torn section of Omega's mask might as well be a bullseye for Duke to bring this match to an end.

Omega's frustration is starting to boil over as he hurls Duke's prone body into the ring. Omega follows in and decuffs his hoof.

LeRay: Omega's fighting with a fury we haven't seen in a little while. He's seeing red in all ways but literal, and he's looking to change that as Duke slowly staggers to hit feet.

Beeman: Don't get up Duke, that madman is looking to kick your face clean off!